Chapter Text
Walking down the hallway at the city morgue, I grinned as I saw my favorite strawberry-blonde Grim Reaper—sorry, Grief Counselor, sitting at her desk engrossed in something on her computer monitor. I poked my head in the open door, stopping just short of knocking on the jamb with my closed fist. God, I don’t know what it is about Lily Lembowski that makes me so clumsy and socially inept.
“Hey.”
Lily looked up. “Matt.” Lily smiled her one-million megawatt smile; the one that made me weak in the knees every time I saw it.
“I got a double homicide down on South St. so I’m here to observe the slicing and dicing.” God, she was easy on the eyes. I could have never told you what she was wearing—and me a detective—but she always looked good.
“Got any detective tricks for finding people who aren’t where they used to be?” Lily asked looking slightly miffed at the idea that people might actually move house from time to time. I moved over to look over her shoulder, casually laying my arm along the back of her chair.
“You probably know as much about it as I do. But I’d be happy to do what I can to fulfill your needs.” I mentally banged my head on the edge of Lily’s desk. Lame, sexist, yadda, yadda, yadda. I swear it’s like my mouth and brain start working independently whenever I’m around her.
Lily turned her head and smiled at me in an oh-yeah? kind of way. A definite oh-yeah-well-maybe-I’ll-take-you-up-on-that-sometime kind of smile. I let myself get a little lost in that smile when a voice from behind startled us both.
“Not dating the boss anymore, Lily?” a laughing voice asked. Lily and I both spun around. At first my brain just registered the sound, not the content of the attractive woman’s question.
“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows. Dating the boss? Lily and—Macy? The stranger looked at me as if I was the last turkey at the butchers the day before Thanksgiving.
“Oh this one’s cute.” The dark-haired woman was practically licking her lips. Lily laughed nervously in response and I figured she knew this woman. As I watched Lily get up and go to hug the older woman, I could tell she wasn’t happy. They exchange ‘hi’s’ and ‘wows’ before the dark-haired woman turned towards me, still standing there like a chaperone at a school dance—uncomfortable, unwanted, and definitely clueless.
“Aren’t you going to introduces us, huh?” The woman looked at me a bit salaciously and Lily looked even more uncomfortable if that was possible.
“Matt Seely, my mother.” My eyebrows rose even higher. ‘Okay, I definitely wasn’t expecting that. Knowing I probably looked startled, but hopefully recovering quickly, I stepped towards Mrs. Lembowski, holding out my hand.
“Hi. Oh!” Embarrassment rose from me in huge tsunami-like waves as Lily’s mom pulled me into a full-body hug and I could actually feel her hand brush my ass briefly. She released me and ran her left hand down my chest to finger the badge clipped to my belt.
“Oooo. A detective.” I looked at Lily. She seems as embarrassed as I was. Her mom was laughing, kind of throaty and seductively. Lily sighed.
“Matt, could you excuse us please? PLEASE.” She certainly didn’t have to ask twice. I was already heading towards the door.
“Uh, sure. It was nice to meet you.” Lily walked over with me and shut the door behind me with an air of relief so palatable that even the most insensitive man on the planet—which was me as Lily had so often pointed out in the past—could discern it.
As I headed towards the crypt and my double homicide, I felt as though I had just been in some strange La-La Land of the Inappropriate Gropes. Suddenly watching two autopsies seemed perfectly natural and yes, even welcome.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ‘slicing and dicing’ over, I was waiting in the foyer for the elevator when I heard my name being called. Turning I found Mrs. Lembowski heading towards me, arms outstretched, Lily trailing behind her.
“Matt. Matt,” she called out. “It is Matt, isn’t it?”
Knowing that I’d never make it to the stairwell in time, I pasted a smile on my face, reaching for her small overnight case. “Yes. Let me take that for you.”
The elevator dinged, the doors opened and Mrs. Lembowski took my free arm and walked into the car, saying “Let me tell you a few things about Lily.” The doors started to close on Lily but I was unable to reach the button as I had my one free arm held in a death grip by Mrs. Lembowski. Lily shouldered them open again, and stepped into the elevator saying “I’m okay,” and looking anything but.
We rode down in the elevator with Mrs. Lembowski yapping on and on about Lily’s shortcoming—like Lily had any, I snorted silently. I thought when more people joined us on the various floors that she’d shut up, but no, she just kept right on moaning about Lily’s faults. I was about to force feed her the heavy cosmetic case when mercifully, we arrived in the lobby. Escorting Lily’s mom out the front doors I made sure to hold it for Lily as she trailed behind with her mom’s larger suitcase. One part of my brain was thinking ‘shit, I should have offered to carry it,’ and the other was just screaming at Mrs. Lembowski to shut up as I heard her saying what obviously was the nicest thing she’s had to say about Lily in fifteen floors.
“So it’s not that she’s unwomanly exactly, it’s just that she doesn’t know how to present herself to the best advantage.” I didn’t know where to look and Lily avoided looking at me, instead turning towards her mother.
“Mom. MOM!” Lily was almost in tears. “Shut up. SHUT UP.” Her voice rose shrilly. I sighed. ‘Yeah, those two autopsies were definitely the better part of my day,’ I thought. Trying to diffuse the situation I stepped between the two women.
“Let me get you a cab.” I relished the brush of our fingers as I took the case from Lily. I walked over to the crosswalk and waited for the light. I swear, I couldn’t help overhearing—Lily was pretty upset and her mom isn’t one to speak discreetly.
“I don’t need your help.” Lily said to her mother, folding her arms protectively around her body.
Her mother looked spiteful. “Dear, you have never been able to hold on to a man.”
“I am not trying to hold on to him.”
“You are not getting any younger, Lily.”
“Oh so I should be you? Jump anything with a pulse and a penis?”
Ouch, that had to sting. I jaywalked at this point, not wanting to hear Mrs. Lembowski’s next cruel retort. I grabbed a cab and just as I was putting the suitcase into the trunk I heard a squeal of tires and a late model luxury car appeared out of nowhere and struck Lily’s mother. I raced over and managed to get a partial plate, and while checking for a pulse, called 911. Lily rushed over a look of shocked horror on her face as she knelt next to her mother bloodied and frightening still body.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
At the hospital an hour later, Lily was sitting in a chair in the hallway, twisting her mother’s scarf around her hand over and over. I was standing nearby, speaking to the American Embassy in Rome. The assistant consulate general promised he’d notify Lily’s brother right away. I ended the call and walked over to sit by Lily.
“The embassy in Rome is trying to track down your brother.” Seeing Lily’s distressed motions with the scarf, I took her hands in mine, rubbing my thumb over the uppermost hand reassuringly. Lily continued to cry softly and rock back and forth slightly.
“I was so mean to her.”
‘Shit, what am I supposed to say to that. Yeah, but your freaky mom deserved it?’ I racked my brain for something, finally managing to come up with a lame “Well, don’t think about it.” We both looked up as we heard footsteps and suddenly Lily was up out of her chair and flying into the arms of Garret Macy. He hugged her and held her close.
“I was mean to her again.” Lily sobs.
“You’ve never been mean to anyone in your whole life.”
“I was. I was. Right before the car…”
“We’re going to get through this. We’ll get through this, okay?” She nodded into his shoulder.
I rose from my chair. Yeah, now that was the perfect thing to say. Too bad you weren’t the one saying it. Instead her super-sensitive, intelligent doctor ex-boyfriend is saying it and you’re standing here playing heartless clod. I sighed heavily. I hadn’t stood much of a chance with Lily anyway, but it’s hard when you realize just how infinitesimal your chances had been.
The ER doctor came around the corner just then, looking for Lily. He was not optimistic, given that apparently Lily’s mom was a raving alcoholic. He seemed kind of condescending towards Lily but she gave as good as she got, even now, and he took her off to see her mother. I went off to help that short Indian guy with a reconstruction of the hit-and-run. Macy suggested it, saying that he thought I could “offer some valuable insights,” but I suspected it was just to get me out of the way. I knew that was what it was when I got back to the morgue and found Dr. Vijaymuthamurtha-whatever running all sorts of simulations and calculating formulae in his head. There was no way on God’s green earth that this guy needed my help.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, maybe I couldn’t calculate pi to the 300th power like Dr. Superbrain, but I had my abilities. I pulled images from the traffic cams in the area and found a photo of the driver. I had the images blown up and took them to Lily at the hospital. I knocked on the open door before entering.
“Hey. How’re you doing?”
Lily looked exhausted. “I don’t know. Car slams into your mother just after you’ve called her a slut. How would you feel?”
“Has she been conscious at all?” Lily shakes her head.
“Morphine drip.”
I pulled the photos out of a manila folder. “Could you uh look at these?” I started to lay the photos on Mrs. Lembowski’s bed but Lily snatched them up.
“Don’t put them on my mother!” She takes them and we went out into the hall. Lily looked through the photos slowly.
“Do you know her?”
“Wait a minute, this is—this makes it look like--”
“Deliberate.” This woman waited for your mother to come out and then,” I grimaced, “smack.” Lily looked at me as though she can’t believe what she just heard.
“You have the sensitivity of a lizard.” I knew I shouldn’t have reacted like I did, but that look—it’s the same one she used to give me all the time. I immediately got defensive again, just like I used to—I guess it’s just an involuntary response.
“I have spent every minute today investigating what initially looked like just a hit-and-run--” Lily interrupted me.
“Isn’t that your job?”
I looked at her incredulously. “Hit-and-runs? I’m a homicide detective.” I paused before saying softly, “I did this for you.”
“Thank you.” Lily said with more sarcasm then I thought her capable of. “Now that it’s attempted murder it’s not longer beneath you.”
I sighed. Okay, I wasn’t going to win here. If I had had any doubts about me and Lily ever getting together this interlude settled them. There was no way she would ever consider going out with an insensitive jerk like me. I let my professional face slid on and I shoved the photos into Lily’s hands.
“When she wakes up, see if she knows who this is.” I left. There was no point in saying goodbye.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, even if Lily didn’t like me being around, I still had a job to do. I checked around, and pieced together all the facts. I wasn’t exactly relishing telling Lily about her mother but hey, she already hated me, so it really didn’t matter, right? I drove over to the morgue but when I tried to enter Lily’s office Macy pushed me back out into the hall, following me out and closing the door behind him. I didn’t waste any social pleasantries with him.
“I found out who the woman was who smacked Lily’s mother.
“Smacked?” Macy’s tones was both reprimanding and condescending.
I grimaced. “Hit.”
“Who was it?”
“The mother is some piece of work. She was having it off with some married guy in Pennsylvania and his wife didn’t like it.”
“So she followed her here to try and kill her. Kind of an extreme reaction.”
“Well, there’s more. The guy’s dead. Killed two weeks ago in a car crash at 2 am. Mrs. Lembowski was with him. Not a scratch. They were both schnockered.”
“Who was driving?”
“He was, but that’s not stopping his wife from blaming Lily’s mother.”
“Okay, thanks.” Garret sighed heavily. “When Lily gets off the phone, I’ll tell her.”
“No, I’ll tell her myself.” I started past Garret but Garret stops me. “Do her a favor, Seely. Which one do you think she’d rather hear it from?” I looked at him. We were both thinking the same thing—bad news from the crude Neanderthal or from the perceptive old friend. And we both knew the answer. Macy didn’t wait for me to acknowledge the choice but dismissed me with a “Thanks for stopping by.”
I turned away and started to leave. I wanted to be gone before Lily came out of her office