Work Text:
Bullet theory
by Selena
?God, Chief. I have no idea what to say to you. Do you have any idea what you have done?? Jim paced around the small space that was Simon?s office. They had been left alone ever since the press conference. Jim had been yelling for almost an hour, that was enough to keep even Simon away.
?Yes, Jim. I do know what I have done.? Blair said defensively. ?I screwed up. I helped to make this mess; I had to clean it up. I didn?t see any other way to do it.?
Jim stopped his pacing and turned to look at his friend. The young man in front of him looked like he was on the edge and was getting ready to jump off. Wait, hadn?t he already done that?
?No, Sandburg. There was another way, we would have found it. You didn?t have to throw away your life, your career. Not for me.?
?Yes, I did, Jim. This whole thing was my fault. I had to take the bullet. It was the only way to end this.? Blair threw himself down on one of the hard plastic chairs and winced as he jarred his coccyx.
Jim knelt down beside him; Blair turned his head away, refusing to meet Jim?s concerned eyes. ?Do you realize what you have done to yourself? Took a bullet for me? Chief you may as well have fired the gun yourself.?
?Jim, I know.? Blair yelled, jumping up. ?Stop treating me like I am a child who doesn?t know any better. I am an adult and I made a choice. I made the only choice.?
?Yeah and we both have to live with it.?
?Live with what, man? What do you have to live with? I made sure that you were ok. I am the one who is the fraud.? Blair grabbed the door handle and yanked open the door, the force of his action almost knocked him off balance. He made to storm out of the room, but Jim grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
?Oh no. You are not going anywhere. This conversation is not over until I say it is.?
Blair shook himself out of Jim?s hold and glared at his Sentinel. ?Just like always, huh Jim? You always have to have the last word.?
?Can the smoke and mirror act, Sandburg. Do not make this about me, this is about you and your impulsive actions.?
?Don?t make this about you? This is all about you. Everything is about you.? Blair began to walk around the cramped room, waving his arms around. ?We were, are, under a lot of pressure with the Zeller case. We didn?t need the oppression by the press as well. You couldn?t work under those conditions and I had a way to help. So I did it.?
?So you are happy living a lie?? Jim asked sarcastically, scowling at his friend.
Blair ignored the look his friend was giving him and moved back to the door. ?No, I hate this. I lied and ultimately that lie might end up destroying me.? Blair finally turned to look at his friend. Blair tried to put up a brave front, but Jim could tell that his guide was terrified and uncertain. ?The tribe comes first, man.? Blair said turning away. ?And if you ask me, it was worth it. I have to go now. I need to think.? He opened the door and left, letting the door slam behind him. Jim listened to him walk away. He guessed Blair must have been somewhere near the break room when he heard him whisper, ?By the way, this conversation is over.?
Jim had to smile. That was Blair, making jokes in the face of adversity. Jim allowed himself to drop down into the plastic chair. He threw his head back and let out a loud sigh that came out more like a sob. How had this gotten so out of hand? And how cold he let Blair shoulder all the blame? His conscience said he couldn?t, but his head said that the world wasn?t yet ready to have Sentinels out in the open. The press had provided evidence of that.
This was not over yet. He thought firmly. They would get rid of Zeller, for good this time. Then they would sit down and talk about this. Conversation over? I don?t think so, buddy. This little dance was far from over.
END
Lyrics
Who shot the bullet?
That killed the air tonight
Without a thought
Without a reason
Take a gun called hate
Up against your chest
And pull the trigger
Its only over, it?s only over
It?s only over when we say
The smoke and mirrors
The lies that wind your tongue
Is this the oppression that we needed?
As we function on impatience
And our patience is wearing thin
And live a lie that will destroy us all
You like this baby?
You want to dance a little longer?