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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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462
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1/1
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Drabble: Phantoms

Summary:

A pov story about how Jack deals with Lennie being gone. Also this story was written to help me deal with the loss of the actor who played him. We miss you Jerry. Warning: first time writer in this fandom and hanky warning

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Phantoms
By Lady Q

Sometimes during the night when I roll over onto your side of the bed and place my arm around your pillow I think that I feel you are still there with me.

There are days when I am walking home from work and I look up I think I see you and I will find myself following this stranger who looks like you. When he turns around I can feel my heart flutter in hopes it was all a lie and that you were not shot and you have not left my side. But, then he turns and I am fooling myself when I look into this stranger's eyes and realize they are not your eyes and then I remember, you are gone and I turn away and head for home.

Some days are better then the next but there are times when I come home from a hard day a work and I open the door. I think you are just in the kitchen making dinner and I even tell myself that I smell your horrible cooking as I walk into the living room of our apartment. Then I realize I am lying to myself once more. That there is no dinner waiting for me on the table and you aren't standing there waiting to kiss me.

I wonder if you know that I still have your clothes hanging in the closet next to mine. Or if you know I use your hair brush to brush my hair in the morning just to make me feel that you are there standing behind me watching me dress for a day in court.

There are days that I find myself unable to take the pain of losing you and I find myself holding a razor blade to my wrist. Then I remember you would want me to go on to live my life and to find some happiness. But it's hard Lennie, and losing you feels like I've lost my left arm and I feel like I can't go on with out you any more because I miss you so much. I know it is what you would want, so I find myself nodding my head and putting the blade back in the box from where it came. Maybe, it's time for me to check out those grief counseling meetings that Green, told me about as I grab my jacket and walk out the door.

I turn to look back at our apartment that was once so filled with love and laughter and I whisper softly, "I miss you, Lennie." I close the door and turn to head for work in hopes it will take the pain away and help me to forget that you are gone.

The End

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Lady_Quadress.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.