Work Text:
Penance
by Blackrose
Rodney has always used sex as a penance, a confession, his punishment.
One John had always been happy to give him.
John had always been better trained to cope with this type of situation after all, he'd expected to lose his men.
Rodney hadn't and had never gotten a great hold of the military stoicism. He'd felt the pain of every death as deeply as if it had been his own, and though he'd hidden it in public, in private he'd always turned to his lovers.
One, who felt it was his duty to absolve Rodney for failing to keep the scientists safe in the first place and one... One who just couldn't understand it at all. One who'd always preferred gentler sex, making love.
And most of the time John and Rodney were happy to oblige...
Except for the few times when Rodney begs John to hurt him, to make him feel pain. Then he'd disappear, there only for the aftermath, when Rodney would start to cry.
Except for this time when Rodney begs, John says no.
This time when he needs to be shown he's still alive John can't do it because this time, when he cries, they both know it will be just the two of them there for the aftermath.
This time John lost something too.
Fin
AN - First McShep fic even though I've been reading this pairing since Atlantis started, A tad more angsty that I was planning for my first ship fic in this fandom but never mind. As for the other partner in this fic I have to admit I had Ford in mind but I don't suppose it really matters who it is.