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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Completed:
2005-09-18
Words:
15,727
Chapters:
8/8
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2
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34
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13,857

A beautiful Lie

Summary:

Jared knows that what he and Colin share is nothing more than a beautiful lie, or is it?

Chapter 1: Chapter one

Notes:

Summary: Jared knows that what he and Colin share is nothing more than a beautiful lie, or is it?
Fandoms: Original
Characters: Colin Farrell/Jared Leto
Genres: Slash, Song, fic
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Beta: obselizabeth
Archive: www.geocites.com/b_witched83uk
www.livejournal.com/users/bwitched83uk
Feedback: Makes Jared and Colin happy boys.
A/N: Song lyrics are from A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars.

Chapter Text



He doesn't look at me as he enters the room and I don't expect him to. He walks right over to Angelina and kisses her on the cheek, laughing as she makes a joke in his ear. He strokes her arm affectionately and gives her a tender wink before moving over to Val. That's right, let the whole room see that you and she are fucking. Let them know, because you're proud of it aren't you?

Who wouldn't be? She's gorgeous. Tomorrow you will probably wake up to see yet another picture of the two of you walking together on the beach with her son Maddox between you. The world will see it and the men will worship you and the women will want you, all because you're a fuck-up who thinks with his cock.

That must be the only reason you came to my hotel room last night right? You were following your cock? That must be the only reason you've been coming to my hotel room every night for the past month... and I let you. I hate myself for letting you; but I can't stop it, and neither can you.

If you're so straight, if you're so smitten with Angelina then how come it's me you come to every night? I don't know if you're fucking her; you must be though, she's gorgeous and you think with your cock.

How lonely it must be in your head, too much noise, too many thoughts. If you are alone too long then you start to think don't you? You think about who you really are and what you really want. You can't run away from yourself forever, my love. So it's best to make sure you are never alone, right? And you never are.

Lie awake in bed at night

And think about your life

Do you want to be different?

Try to let go of the truth

The battles of your youth

'Cause this is just a game

The dinner being held tonight is in honour of some woman's birthday, I can't even remember her name. I think she works in make-up but she's never worked on me. I don't even know why I'm here. Okay, that's a lie; I know exactly why I'm here. I look over at Colin to find he is looking back at me; he gives me a brief smile and it's just for me, it's mine. His eyes get a little brighter, but it's only for a moment, a stolen moment, before he turns back to Val. I've been acknowledged and dismissed, all with one look. Maybe he really wants to come over and talk to me but doesn't want people to get suspicious. I lie to myself a lot lately. Why would anyone get suspicious? We're friends, we work together.

I feel as though I'm branded, as though I have a tattoo over my face and any moment now someone will look over at me and say, "Oh my God. Colin Farrell had his cock in you last night!"

I can't help but smile like a schoolboy when Colin finally makes his way over to me. We are sitting down to eat and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and find him grinning down at me. He takes his seat and stretches out his legs under the table. He sat next to me, not you Angelina. He sat next to me, because he knows we share something intimate and beautiful, even if he is afraid to admit it to himself. I lie to myself a lot lately.

It's a beautiful lie

It's a perfect denial

Such a beautiful lie to believe in

So beautiful, beautiful

That makes me...

I move my hand between our chairs and stroke my fingers over his knuckles. He doesn't pull away, its hidden, no one can see. He smiles but doesn't look at me; he keeps his eyes on the menu. Feeling bolder, I run my hand over his thigh, resting it at the top, near his groin.

He smirks then and his eyes finally leave the menu to give me what he thinks is a withering look, but it isn't, its his, 'I want to fuck you so hard that I break you,' look. I should know, I've seen it enough.

"Stop that," he says under his breath, though his tone is playful so I know he doesn't really mean it.

"Why?" I ask innocently.

He reaches over and presses the heel of his hand into my crotch, rubbing against my cock. I gasp silently and push forward, unable to stop myself from reacting so much to his touch.

"Because if you don't, then I'm going to make you come right here in front of all these people."

He won't of course, he's too afraid of people finding out he's fucking another bloke, but the empty threat turns me on anyway.

"Colin," Val calls from across the table and his hand flinches back like it's been bitten by a snake. He turns away from me, putting his back to me and I suddenly feel cold.

It's time to forget about the past

To wash away what happened last

Hide behind an empty face

Don't have too much to say

'Cause this is just a game

You told me very early on that you don't do relationships, you don't fall in love. You said that you get bored too easily, can't stay in one place for too long. Why are you always running?

You even said to me one night, "Don't fall in love with me Jared, I'll only hurt you."

I lied to you that night. I told you that I didn't want a relationship either. I told myself the same thing. I lie to myself a lot lately.

After dinner I go over to him at the bar and put my spare key card on the counter. He instantly covers it with his hand so that no one sees it and slides it off, into his pocket.

"I'll follow you up in a bit," he says and his eyes are suddenly so tender that it's easy to believe he loves me.

I'm not sure which of us is lying anymore.

I walk out of the room, saying goodnight to everyone. I stop to kiss the cheek of the make-up girl and wish her a happy birthday, careful not to have to say her name. Everyone turns to look at me and tries to talk me into staying a little longer. At first I wonder why but then I remember. I used to be the life and soul of the party, the one to make everyone laugh, the one to get everyone up dancing. I don't feel much like dancing lately.

Everyone who's looking at me

I'm running around in circles, angry

Acquired desperation's building high

I've got to remember this is just a game

I'm not in my hotel room long when you arrive. I'm already naked on the bed, just how you like me. I wonder what you'll have me do tonight. I wonder if there will ever come a time when I won't do exactly as you say. I just don't care though. When you are inside me, looking into my eyes, I can so easily believe that you love me, that you're mine just as much as I'm yours.

When you enter me it's so gentle, so wonderful that I have to close my eyes for just a second.

"Fuck, Jared," you breathe into my ear. "Beautiful." And I'm not sure if you mean that I am beautiful or if what we are doing is beautiful. But I can't concentrate on that for too long because your cock is buried in my ass and you are sliding in and out of me, your body blanketing mine, your belly rubbing against my swollon cock.

You look into my eyes the entire time, your big, brown puppy dog eyes that I can never say no to. You lean down and take my lips in a kiss that leaves me whimpering. When you come inside me I feel perfect, I feel complete, as though that's what's been missing.

You come with my name on your lips and you wrap your hand around my cock, murmuring in my ear to let you feel me come around you. I can never deny you.

I come and you hold me and anchor me. It's beautiful; every moment spent with you like this is beautiful. You fall asleep soon after, you always do, but as usual, I can't sleep. Your arms are so strong and firm around me, as though you are subconsciously trying to stop me from leaving. Your mouth is by my ear and your breath is warm. I stroke my hand over your face and imagine that you love me, that you will hold me this way every night for the rest of forever. I lie to myself a lot lately.

It's a beautiful lie

It's a perfect denial

Such a beautiful lie to believe in