Chapter Text
The Things Between Us
by Growly
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*Prologue: Sine Qua Non*
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The room was filled with blue light, casting odd shadows on the walls. By most standards it was a very empty room - blank and devoid of many real signs of humanity. Even its sole occupant, though human, appeared cold and lifeless like some kind of automaton. The light turned his pale skin to a shade of slate-blue that bore an uncanny resemblance to a corpse. The dark shadows beneath his eyes, the haunted nature of his stance only betrayed by his amber-eyed gaze, the way he sat up as straight as a board despite his obvious exhaustion - all of these only served to contribute to the impression. If he knew or even cared about his appearance, it was not particularly obvious.
Beneath his baggy lab-coat, his once lean form had become bony and his ebony hair drooped in his eyes in draggling lackluster strands. Every now and then his eyes would threaten to close, his weary body more than ready to betray him and give in to sleep. Yet every time he started to nod, he would drag himself awake.
The ravaged state of his hands was indication enough of the lengths he was going through to keep from being pulled into slumber. Slender fingers that had once flown over the keys with frightening ease now seeped with blood when they moved. The wounds were never deep; most of the time they were never even consciously made. After all, what would his employers say? What would the media say?
There was a soft click as he opened a folder on his computer, booting up one of his programs and putting in his password. This was one of the few things he felt a need to protect with a password - even his advanced research and inventions did not merit such care. But what did they matter? They were just his livelihood. This was personal.
He stared at the screen for a long while, swallowing almost convulsively. His fingers twitched - not quite pressing down on the keys yet, but just jerking in a manner that frighteningly resembled someone being electrocuted. He was a famed scientist, award-winning inventor and all-around genius, yet he had fear in him - had the jitters too strong to even think about controlling them.
"Take a deep breath... concentrate... focus..." He repeated the mantra in his head, forcing himself to a calm that was so complete it was eerie. His body stopped shaking, still responding to his increasingly erratic attempts at control. How much longer he could do this? He wasn't really sure. Not long. His efforts were expending energy he no longer had available to use. Then again, at this point, who cared, really? It was so close to being over that he could taste the end - and it was like bitter ashes in his mouth.
His fingers typed in the words with careful deliberation:
~Log #124~
This is it... this is the last time I'm going to write anything. I'm so tired of this all... I know I don't have anything to prove, and I know I don't have to bother explaining myself. Who would care, anyway?
Nobody. But I'm not doing this for anyone else. I'm doing it for me. For... us. And perhaps someday, someone will care enough to read this and find out just why I've done the things I've done.
Maybe they'll even find it in their hearts to forgive me for what I'm about to do...
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