Work Text:
Finding the Words
Abby sat at her computer; eyes closed trying to hold back the tears. The lab was quiet. Music, any music, made seemed to tear the grief from her heart. Gibbs was on his way down, and she needed it hold herself together. Not that she was embarrassed about crying in front of him; they'd all done that over the past weeks. It was just that his lack of reaction, of acknowledgement of the pain they were feeling, made it hurt even more.
Gibbs had not said Kate's name. Not once. His grief and rage was focused on finding, on killing, Ari but he never articulated why. Their grief was met with silence and a stare, before he barked another order at them.
The lab door was barely opened before Gibbs strode in. Empty handed. He never bought her Caf-Pow anymore.
"Have you got any more info the evidence from the rooftop?" he asked without preamble.
"Nothing new", she replied, 'nothing..." Abby's breath caught in her throat, and she strangled a sob. She sat for a moment, eyes closed, before she went on, "Nothing that will help." She didn't trust herself to meet his eyes.
Gibbs touched her lightly on the shoulder, and she looked up.
"You O.K.?" he signed.
Abby paused and then bought her fingers together in an emphatic "No". Moving her hands down in a long slow motion in front of her face she signed "Sad". She moved them wide apart before she jabbing her index fingers together "Much pain".
Gibbs held her gaze, and it felt like her was holding her. He hesitantly made a sign which could mean "I should have" or "I need" or "I have to"
His lips tightened and he closed his eyes. He signed slowly, ending with his hands crossed over his chest. "I loved her".
He turned without speaking and strode out of the room. What he didn't see was Abby staring after him, signing almost to herself:
"She knew."