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2020-11-04
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April Fool

Summary:

This won third prize in the Make Johnny sneeze competition on Tiggers E! page (now sadly gone). It was also the only E! fic I ever wrote, perhaps with good reason .

Work Text:

April Fool

by

Annie

Chet Kelly was sitting in the break room looking like the cat who'd swallowed the canary. Roy looked at him suspiciously He'd seen Johnny go into the locker room only a minute before, and from the look on Chet's face it looked liked "The Pigeon" was about to get a visit from "The Phantom".

"What's goin' on, Chet?" he asked.

"Ssh!" Chet whispered, a finger to his lips, "Wait for it, Roy."

"Chet, you didn't... " Roy began.

Suddenly he heard a crash from inside the locker room and then the sound of Gage sneezing, big time. Turning on his heel away from Chet, he burst through the door.

"Aachoo!" Johnny sneezed, over and over, one hand wrapped protectively around his ribs, his eyes streaming. "Damn Kelly, " he snuffled as he tried to catch his breath.

"What was it this time?" Roy inquired sympathetically, "Sneezing powder?"

"Yeah, a whole tin of it," Johnny wheezed. "Man, I'm gonna get him for this."

"You okay, Johnny?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just sort of took my breath away for a second. Just gimme a minute, all right?" Johnny sank down onto the bench, his arm still wrapped around his chest.

"Damn!" he said, hearing the tones and then the voice of the dispatcher calling them out.

"Hey, you sure you're okay, Johnny?" Roy asked worriedly. He didn't like the way Johnny was clasping his chest.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go."

They headed to the squad, Johnny grabbing the callout paper from Cap on the way through, sparing a sideways glance at Chet, who was still laughing fit to bust a gut. "Hey, Gage, didn't you notice the date today? April Fools," Kelly snickered.

Roy snuck anxious glances at Johnny on the way.

"Johnny, it's just a kid up a tree. No injuries, we could probably get another squad to take over and I can run you by Rampart, get you checked out," he said.

"I told you, I'm fine, Roy It was only sneezing powder, for crying out loud," Johnny retorted.

They pulled up in front of the address they'd been given. A woman met them at the gate. "I'm so sorry to have called you out. But Jack climbed up the tree, and now he says he can't get down," she said hurriedly, motioning to the tall Pine in the corner of the yard. " He's only 7 and I was afraid he'd fall."

"That's okay, ma'am," Roy answered soothingly, "We'll have him down in no time. Can you see him, Johnny?" he asked as Gage peered up into the branches of the tree.

"Yeah. Hey there, Jack!" Johnny called. "I'm gonna be up in second to bring you down, okay. You just keep hanging onto that branch there, little buddy. Hey, Roy, I think we'll need to use a rope. The branches are too thick to put a ladder up there."

Roy stepped up next to his partner. "Johnny, you want me to go up this time?" During their partnership, Johnny had always been the climber. Heights didn't bother him at all. Roy was the base man, the one Johnny could rely on if things got sticky up there.

"No, it's fine, Roy," Johnny answered reassuringly, already heading for the nearest limb to hoist himself up, one end of the rope coiled over his shoulder.

He clambered up the tree as quickly as he could until he reached a branch opposite the little boy's pale face. "Hi, Jack. I'm going to get you down. Can you reach out and just grab my hand?" he asked, keeping his voice calm.

"No, I'll fall," the child wailed.

"Okay, that's okay. I won't let you fall. Look, I'm going to put this rope here around you so you can't fall and my friend, Roy, he's got the other end and all we need to do is loop the rope around that big branch there before we put it on you and my buddy down there will let you down easy as anything, okay partner? But, I can't reach you from here. You just need to put out your arm so I can get to you, all right," Johnny coaxed, holding his arm outstretched to the boy.

Jack reached out tentatively, his other arm wrapped in a vice like grip around the branch he was perched on. "I can't reach!" he sobbed.

"It's okay, I'll get you," Johnny said as he lunged as far as he dared. He felt a strange pop in his chest as he did so, but then he had the boy's wrist snagged in his hand and he quickly tossed the end of the rope over the tree limb above him. He pulled the child closer to him, speaking to him soothingly until finally Jack let go his grip on the tree and Johnny was able to pull him to his chest.

Within minutes he'd looped the rope under the boy's armpits and Roy was able to lower him gently to the ground where his mother grabbed him to her. Roy checked the boy over, quickly ascertaining that he had no injuries. His mother thanked Roy profusely for their help.

"Hey, Roy?" Johnny called weakly from his perch in the tree. "Be ready to grab me when I get down, will ya? I don't feel so good."

"John, you want me to come up?" Roy yelled back.

"No, wait for me there. I just feel a bit breathless, is all."

Roy watched anxiously as Johnny made his descent slowly. The minute Johnny's feet were on the ground he felt Roy's arm around his waist.

"I think I'm okay, Roy. Just don't hold me so tight, okay?" Johnny puffed.

Roy lowered his partner to the ground, resting him up against the trunk of the tree. He snagged the biophone and drug box over to his side, looking at Johnny appraisingly. Gage seemed to be having trouble sucking in enough air . Roy could see his shoulders moving up whenever he tried to grab a breath.

"What's happening, Junior?" he asked, as he took Johnny's wrist in his hand, feeling the pulse racing beneath his fingers.

"I don't know. Something popped in my chest when I tried to grab the kid. Happened back at the station too when I had that sneezing attack. Feel out of breath..." Gage's voice trailed off as he tried to conserve his oxygen. "Maybe...?" he closed his eyes, suddenly weary.

"Whoa, Junior, don't you pass out on me now! I need you to stay awake and tell me what's going on with you, okay?" Roy pleaded, as he wrapped the BP cuff around Johnny's arm.

Johnny dragged his eyes open reluctantly. If only he could get one good breath! "Roy, I think ... " he puffed out.

"Yeah, I know, Johnny... pneumothorax." Roy finished for him as he pressed the stethoscope to his patient's chest. Gage sighed. He was gonna kill Kelly when he got his hands on him.

Roy picked up the phone and called a Code I, asking for an ambulance to be dispatched to the scene. Then he hooked up to Rampart.

Kelly Brackett answered.

"Rampart, I have a 29 year old paramedic with breathing difficulties. He reports a history of a popping feeling in his chest times two, approximately 1 hour ago and again in the last ten minutes. Patient's vitals are pulse 120, BP 100/70 and respirations 32 and shallow. Patient is diaphoretic and has diminished breath sounds on the left side. Patient appears to have ipsilateral shoulder pain and is splinting his ribs. He is conscious but appears dizzy."

"10-4, 51. What was the patient doing when the symptoms occurred?" Brackett asked.

"The first time he caught a face full of sneezing powder and sneezed pretty hard. The next time was during a rescue when he lunged to grab a kid," Roy responded. "Rampart, be advised patient is John Gage."

"I knew it," Kel muttered under his breath, glancing at Dixie. "Sneezing powder? Sounds like the Phantom's been on the rampage again! 51, insert IV D5W TKO and administer 6 liters oxygen, transport as soon as possible."

"10-4, Rampart," Roy repeated the instructions back to Brackett and then turned to Johnny. He saw the ambulance pull up and quickly placed the oxygen mask over his friend's face. "Junior, how you doing?" he asked.

"Okay," Johnny panted, but Roy noticed that he was keeping his eyes closed and that he barely flinched when the IV cannula went in. Roy helped the ambulance attendants to place his friend on the stretcher in a semi upright position. He hoped that would open Gage's chest out a bit and provide a bit more room for his lung to expand.

He saw another squad pull up with Dwyer and Bellingham on board. They took in the scene at a glance.

"Roy, why don't you ride in with your partner and Dwyer can drive your squad to Rampart and meet up with you there," Bellingham suggested.

"Thanks, guys." Roy stepped up into the ambulance behind the stretcher and Dwyer passed him up the drug box and biophone.

"Johnny," he said, touching his friend's shoulder gently, "How's the pain?"

"Pretty... bad," Johnny grunted, too busy trying pull air in to wave away
Roy's concerns, as he usually did.

"Sorry, I can't give you anything yet, Junior. Narcotics might compromise your breathing even more. But we'll be at Rampart real soon and Dr. Brackett will have you feeling fine in no time." He took another set of vitals and noted they hadn't changed much. He sat close to the gurney with his hand on Johnny's shoulder, watching as his partner winced in pain each time the ambulance turned a corner or hit a dip in the road.

Five minutes later he felt the ambulance reverse direction as it backed into the bay outside the hospital. They pulled the gurney out and were met inside the doors of the ER by Dixie. "Treatment room 1," she said, patting John gently on the shoulder as she walked next to him. "Hey there, Handsome, how you doing?" she smiled.

Johnny lifted one hand in the air weakly in a thumbs up. He seemed to have little breath left for talking now.

"Well, Johnny, what fine mess have you got yourself into, now?" grinned
Brackett as his patient was moved from the gurney to the exam table. Roy exchanged the oxygen mask from the squad for one that Dixie handed him and then moved to prop himself against the wall while the medical team started to assess their patient.

"Dix, we'll need a portable chest x ray, CBC, and arterial blood gases.
I'm almost positive we're looking at a spontaneous pneumothorax here so you might as well make sure there's a chest tube tray set up. Oh, and Dix, now that we can monitor him closely, let's give him IV MS 2mg and take the edge of that pain a bit."

"Got it, Kel," Dixie said.

"You just lie back there and relax, pal. I'm just gonna look you over while we're waiting on the radiology people, okay?" Kel listened to Johnny's chest with his stethoscope and glanced up at De Soto. "Yep, breath sounds are definitely diminished on the left, Roy. There's no wheezing or rales. I'd say when he sneezed and then lunged for that kid he gave himself a pneumothorax. Spontaneous ones like this usually happen when the person's resting but then when has our friend here ever done anything by the book?" He grinned down at John again, who tried to smile back but could only pant in reply.

Dixie came back in with the portable x ray and technician in tow. She injected the morphine into the IV then stood back until the pictures had been taken. Once the machine had been removed she moved up to the bedside again and started drawing the bloods. The movement necessary for the films to be taken had worn Johnny out and his eyes had closed again. He shuddered at the pain from the needle stick for the blood gases but apart from his panting respirations he made no sound.

Roy moved over to Johnny's side and kept his hand on his shoulder while the bloods were being taken. He knew how much his partner hated being stuck with needles.

"Dr. Brackett," I've got the films here," called the radiology technician from the doorway. Kel grabbed the x rays and put them up on the shadow box. "Yep, there it is, Roy, pneumothorax. Dix, we need to prep him for a chest tube."

Roy bent down to Johnny's level. "You take it easy, Junior. You're
going to be feeling better in no time. I'm gonna go and call Cap and update him and I'll be back just as soon as you're feeling better, okay?" He waited a beat for Johnny's weary nod, then headed out the door to the lounge. He wasn't too surprised when he got there to find Cap and some of the guys already there waiting, including a downhearted Chet Kelly.

"Roy, is Johnny going to be okay?" Chet asked before Roy could even open his mouth. "Man, I feel so bad about this. I just thought it's only sneezing powder, you know, what harm could it do? It was just an April Fools joke, Roy."

"Chet, he's got a pneumothorax. Brackett's about to put a chest tube in. You know he could have been killed if he'd fallen out of that tree and he could have taken that kid with him. Do you ever think about stuff like that Chet, or are you just so wrapped up in the stunts that you don't even bother to think?" Roy snarled.

"Take it easy, Roy," Cap said. "I think maybe Chet's got the message this time. Haven't you, Kelly?" He glared at the Phantom.

"I have, Cap. I swear, no more pranks on Gage. Is he gonna be okay,
Roy? I'm really sorry," Chet said contritely.

"He'll be okay once they get the tube in but he'll probably be off for a week at least. I mean it, Chet. No more pranks like this. I don't wanna have to break in a new partner." De Soto's voice was gruff but he knew Chet really had meant no harm. It was just the ongoing game of the Phantom and his pigeon.

In the treatment room, Dixie helped John angle to his right so they could insert the chest tube. The morphine had eased his pain somewhat but he still felt he couldn't grab a decent lungful of air, despite the oxygen mask.

"Johnny, I'm just going to swab your chest down with some antiseptic solution. It'll be a bit cold," she said apologetically. Trying to ease the nervousness she knew he must be feeling she added, "You know, I've lost count of how many times I've had to cut your clothes off you."

"Too many," Johnny sighed despondently.

"Well, lucky me," she said with a smile, stroking his lank hair away from his forehead.

"Johnny, I'm going to inject some local anesthetic into your side now.
It'll sting a bit at first but after the first one you should find it's pretty easy going, okay?" said Dr. Brackett.

He infiltrated the area Dixie had swabbed for him and then picked up the chest tube. "John, you're probably going to feel some pressure here and maybe a bit of a sharp pain when the tube goes in but then you should start to feel a whole lot better almost straight away. You ready, buddy?"

"Do it," Johnny replied in a whisper.

He felt the difference the moment the tube was in place. He could breathe again.

"Johnny, we'll need to keep you in overnight. And you'll be off duty for a short while. We're going to give you some antibiotics through the IV and then orally when you go home, just in case. You look better. How do you feel?" Brackett asked, smiling down at his patient.

"Better, Doc, just tired. Just do one thing for me?" Johnny asked, plaintively.

"Sure, Johnny. What's that?"

"Remind me to get Kelly, once I'm up to it?" Johnny said with a pained grin.

"You got it, pal," Brackett laughed. "You got it."

 

The End