Chapter Text
Title: Mischief Sleeping
Author: Xandria
Rating: 15+
Fandom: Xena
Feedback: Yeah baby!
E-mail: xandria1969@...
Pairing: Ares/Joxer, Cupid/Strife, Auto/Jett,
Iolaus/Hercules, 'Dite/Heph
Spoilers: None
Summary: A tale is told to a child - fairytales slash version!
Notes: A fairytale, very very loosely based on Sleeping Beauty, with bits and pieces taken from other folk and fairy tales as well.
Dedication: To Hergerbabe, for Life Sucks but Love's great, to Scorpio for Husband, to Christine{&HB again} for Opposites Attract and One Step closer, to Corona for Making Connections and the authors of other great stories like Dancing up a Storm, Down in Hades, Rest and Restitution, Mortality Sucks, and also JB and Shamenka and Vo and Brandy and the RR guys at AJCS...you all inspired me with this. And to Beth, for being such a great feedbacker. :)
Archive: Yes. Let me know where though so I can go look
Website: http://members.tripod.co.uk/macgregor/index.html
Disclaimers: Other people own them all (Sob!) Renaissance Pictures and all that have them. I own nothing, except for a clarinet that needs to be repaired and a 25 year old car whose value is the same as the cost of repairing my clarinet. Which means my total assets come to nothing, nada, zero, zilch.
Part 1
So ya wanna hear a story? Okay then howsabout this? Long time ago in a land far away...well that's how ya start stories like this.
Fairytales. Folktales. That kinda thing.
Ya done now?
I can always go and ya don't havta hear this at all.
Right.
Thought so.
'Kay then. Long time ago in a land far away...well it's the beginning, of course I gotta start again!
Long time ago in a land far way...oh lookee, no intarruptions!
Yeah, sarcasm.
No, it works bettah if ya're older.
So, in this kingdom, a couple were happily married but were unhappy as well. They'd been tagethah fer years but had no kids.
Well, they were two guys, see. It's harder fer two guys ta have kids, ya know?!
Yeah, well, anyway, they were also tha rulers of that country. Tha King and his consort, another king, only technically ya could say they was also both queens as well.
Yeah, they can be both.
'Cause I say so.
So anyway, these two kings, lets call 'em King Ares and King Joxer, were sad. But then one day, Ares' mother came to him with good news.
"What?!" Ares said and sat down suddenly. Hera looked at him in surprise.
"I thought you'd be happy." Ares laughed and grabbed his mother, swinging her around.
"I am, Mother, I am!" Laughing, they went to go tell his husband the good news.
And then King Joxer became pregnant with their child...
No, I'm not gonna tell ya how they did that!
'Cause ya're too young! Come back inna few years!
Bettah yet, ask ya Dad, or ya Granma inna few!
Uhuh, the chicken noise sounds silly coming from ya ya know. The only thing I'm gonna tell ya is the story, or ya could just go straight ta bed.
Yeah, I am a meanie. Thought so.
Anyway, a few months later Joxer had the kid and it was a boy! A really cute one with a shock a jet black hair and sapphire blue eyes that laughed, and a clear, pale skin.
Yeah it does sound a bit like me, huh. Well it's my story, so I guess he would.
Delighted, the two kings invited all tha people in tha land to come see their child. And ta bring them gifts fer tha baby too a course.
Well, no, not really all tha people, but tha important ones, and it sounds good when ya're telling a story ta say all tha people.
Oh alright then. They invited a lot of tha people in tha land, well, tha important ones and that, those with powers so no one would be upset.
Except one invite got kinda lost so one person did get upset anyways.
So tha big day dawned and they were all there, those that were invited, anyway. Even Ares' ex and her new boyfriend, and a course the son they had had tagethah. Well okay, the kids too, but the one who counts here
was Cupid, the oldest.
Cupid was eight and looked inta tha cradle at the baby and smiled. Tha baby smiled back and he told everyone, though his mother tried ta calm him, saying it was gas as the baby was too young ta really smile...Cupe felt he knew bettah though.
Tha othah kids? Well, tha twins, Phobos and Deimos, were both six and had gotten into big trouble, again, so weren't actually at tha presentation. But Harmonia at tha age a five was good little girl and just as enchanted with the baby as Cupe was.
Yeah, King Ares did have quite a few kids with his ex, but it didn't really work out, they were kinda like, opposites, so they split. And Dite got Joxer tagethah with Ares later on so he wouldn't be lonely or nuthin.
So anyway, everybody's there, even Herc, Ares younger brother, and his boyfriend, Iolaus, who also happened ta be tha grandson of Dite's new boyfriend.
Well it's background info. Okay, back ta tha story.
Ares held up his son high in the air, Joxer by his side.
"This is Strife, my son!" he said, and everybody cheered.
Then tha time came fer tha guests ta give out tha presents.
First, as the highest ranking, even ovah King Ares, was his parents tha Emperor Zeus and Hera, his Empress, who was able ta help em with that baby earlier.
"Ares and Joxer, my present for your son is this...let it be known from henceforth that Strife, Prince of the Empire, shall be also known as the Earl of Mischief." Which is a good thing as it meant that any children would help him and he could play with them and that. And he got ta have fun, play jokes, that kind a thing.
Yeah. Like I do with you.
Next to speak was Ares twin sister, Eris, also known as the Duchess of Discord.
"Well Bro, it's good to see you happy again. I know the kid's a part of it so this is my gift...Strife will be able to use any weapon needed and have the grace to do so, with the ability to shed blood."
Yeah, well, having the Talent to use a weapon and being willing to do it are two different things.
Well, one person who springs ta mind is ya new Granddaddy.
Yeah, ya Granddad is very good at it, but ya Granddaddy isn't.
Because they love each other.
Yeah, like me an ya Daddy, too.
Well, Ares family could give special presents like that because they had magic.
So, it went on down tha line; tha family and important people giving baby Strife gifts, some magic, some not. Hercules for example gave Strife a rattle, while Artemis gave him tha skill ta hunt.
Then finally, tha last one was gonna give her gift. Dite came forward and was about ta speak when there was a big noise and then she came in.
Callisto.
She looked at everybody and laughed. Everybody shuddered 'cause in her laughter ya could hear madness and death.
"So. Big party. I guess the invite got lost, but don't worry, I have a gift, anyway. On his eighteenth birthday Strife shall prick his finger on this Hind's blood dagger and die!" Laughing, Callisto vanished in
a gust of black smoke.
"No! Not my son! No!" Joxer grabbed his son up and held him, weeping. Strife, a course, picked up on his Dad's emotions an began at bawl his eyes out too. Ares came ovah and put his arms around tha two of them and they began ta calm down.
"I'm sorry, Ares." Zeus said. "All the gifts are given, we can't stop this."
"Exsqueeze me? They are so not all given. I haven't given mine, yet." Dite said as she came up ta tha two and smiled at them, then down at baby Strife as well.
"Ah Dite, you're good at magic and all, but your specialty's more the love side, isn't it?" Joxer said.
"Yeah, Joxie, but love can do a lot. I can't stop the curse, but I can slow it some. When Strife touches the dagger, it will make him go into a deep sleep instead. And he will be woken up by true love's kiss."
"True love's kiss?" Ares said, curling a lip. Dite hit him.
"Yeah. Like you and Joxie have." She snarled, looking him in the eye. King Ares looked away as he didn't like ta admit ta emotions like that.
So anyway, Strife had all these blessings and a curse, but that was okay.
Now, someone suggested banishing all tha sharp objects from tha land, which was silly. Ares and Joxer brought in the best tutors possible, instead, and taught Strife how ta use all weapons, like swords, and bows and arrows, but especially daggers.
Joxer even persuaded Ares ta let his brother out of prison and Jett taught him everything he knew, which was a lot, as Jett was tha King of Assassins, so he knew his knives. And occasionally Jett's boyfriend,
Autolycus would visit, and he was always welcome, though they had ta search him before he left as he was tha King a Thieves.
Yeah, that's why they searched him. He'd leave with more stuff than he came with.
Nah, he just took it.
Yeah, that's why he's tha King a thieves, 'cause they nevah caught him. But they searched his stuff, 'cause they knew he couldn't resist a little five fingered discount here and there.
So Auto taught Strife ta pick locks, ta break inta tha castle vaults and ta have a good time. Joxer's othah brother visited at times too, and he taught Strife how ta sew, ta flirt, and how ta court a woman. Or a man, since he seemed ta like both. See, Jace liked ta dress as woman and had a good idea a how they thought, but could explain it ta a youngster like Strife was.
So Strife grew up with tha abilities he'd been given, and he liked ta play jokes. But there was one thing. While tha parents had made sure that Strife was taught all about how ta use a dagger, they forgot one thing.
Two, really. Strife's curiosity and ta tell him not ta go near any sharp pointy object on his birthday.
Simple really, but there ya go.
So, we have an eager young man with a lot a curiosity and a healthy sense a mischief on his birthday. He knows his presents have been hid somewhere, so he gets up early ta look. And he comes ta a part of tha castle he's nevah seen before, which is strange cause he's been everywhere before, he thought.
Looking around, he sees a light so goes ta this door and pushes it open. And on a little table in tha middle a the room is this dagger.
Now I'm talkin bout a real work a art here. Well balanced, good grips and the blade...well, Strife had ta see fer himself what it was like. He liked the daggers best of all, see. So he picked the dagger up
and ran it lightly across his fingah. Tha blade was so sharp it just cut right through and blood came up.
Strife smiled in delight. But then he began ta feel dizzy and put tha blade back down on tha table, leaning on it a little.
"Wow, hot in here all of a sudden." He muttered ta himself. And then there were hands moving him and he looked over ta this blond woman, she smiled at him and held him as he grew weaker. Tha last thing he saw was
her laughing face, which seemed so much worse all of a sudden. Tha last thing he heard was her laughter and then he knew nuthin but darkness aftah that.
Hey is that tha time? Better go ta sleep now.
You'll havta wait.
Yeah, I'm positive ya won't die.
Sleep!
:After several minutes the narrator moves quietly to the door and jumps as strong, muscled arms go around him:
So what did ya think?
Yeah I think ya can hold out fer tha rest 'til tomorrow as well.
Mmmmmmmm, no. Luv ya kisses but ya gotta wait.
Ta morrow.
Oh, I think I can distract ya.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Damn, ya're such a hottie!
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