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State Dinners just never did it for Sam. Firstly it involved writing toasts and speeches about mutual respect and trust and other inconsequential blah blah, and he felt neither his talent nor his dignity benefitted. The last one had been a disaster for US-Indonesian diplomatic relations. And secondly you just couldn't have a really good time and get plastered at State Dinners.
This one was for the recently elected Australian Prime Minister, who, like his neighbour, wasn't the inspiring kind. Bartlet was definitely off his game tonight. He droned on, bored and boring. Sam drew little circles on the tablecloth with his fork and thought about ways to make the time pass. He glanced round and saw everybody else at their table had the same glazed expression, except for Josh, next to him, who had closed his eyes and appeared to be asleep.
Sam nudged him and said, sotto voce, "Hey, wake up."
Josh opened an eyelid, then two, and smiled dazzlingly. "Hi, Sam!"
Josh's voice was just loud enough to carry to surrounding tables.
"Sshhh." Sam winced as he saw heads turn. Some were hiding smiles.
Sam realized something. Josh was extremely happy. He couldn't be drunk, he hadn't had anything. But he was high, and gazing meltingly at Sam, in a way that was bound to set tongues wagging if anybody noticed. Sam began to feel uneasy.
It rapidly got worse. Josh took his hand and started playing with Sam's fingers. Sam whisked both hands under the table and tried to pretend nothing had happened. Across from them, Toby's eyes threatened to bulge out of his head.
Under the table, Josh took his hold off Sam's hand, only to transfer it, unbelievably, to Sam's thigh, and start to stroke it. Sam dropped his head down, hoping to hide the sudden flush in his cheeks. He had to stop this, but without making a scene, he couldn't think how. At least it had livened up an otherwise boring occasion, he thought stupidly.
Josh's fingers were tracing small patterns and slowly inching higher. As much as he wished Josh would stop, Sam found himself getting aroused. For God's sake. This just wasn't happening. He didn't dare look around the table. He took a firm grip on his champagne glass and tried to concentrate on the little bubbles rising to the top, and then realized what a poor choice of metaphor he'd just made.
" . . .In an era of new relationships forged by circumstance, it is important that the United States strengthens those it holds still dear . . ."
Who wrote that rubbish? Sam thought, then realized. Oh yeah. Not one of my better ones. What was the boss saying? Relationships, strengthen them, Australia, ties, fingers, tickles, oh yes, beautiful, Josh, don't stop . . . Jesus. Get a grip.
This was getting hard to control. Josh knew exactly what he was doing, too, the bastard. Especially when those annoying yet intensely intoxicating fingers reached his crotch, and pressed against his far-too-interested cock.
Sam almost let out a yelp, strangled it somehow, but couldn't control the glass in his hand. Champagne went everywhere. He grabbed a napkin and started to repair the damage. He saw Toby and CJ staring at him. CJ's mouth was open in total disbelief and Toby looked plain murderous.
Josh giggled. "Oops," he said.
"Go back to sleep," Sam whispered savagely, wishing he could take back the last few minutes.
"Can't sleep at State Dinners," Josh said, a tad louder. "The President will be cross."
"Shut him up!" Toby hissed at Sam from across the table.
Sam looked round in desperation, grabbed a bread roll, shoved a large piece in Josh's mouth and kept it there. "Here, eat."
Josh started to protest but couldn't because of the obstacle in his mouth. He chewed furiously to get rid of it. On his other side, CJ was trying to control helpless giggles and failing. Toby looked despairing. Sam noticed one or two people near them watching the scene with varying degrees of amusement and disgust.
Josh finished his mouthful.
". . .and our ties with Australia will only be strengthened by this mutual reinforcement of . . ."
"errrrppp. Ooh, pardon me."
". . .this mutual reinforcement of our long standing agreement," the President continued. A few titters sounded through the room. The President's hands clenched his podium a little tighter, but he gave no other sign he had heard Josh, and continued on.
"Sam."
"Josh, shut UP," Sam said in a furious whisper.
"But I want to talk to you. You're my friend, Sam. I love you."
A short but deadly silence fell over the room. The President stopped and glared at his errant staffer. Stifled laughter came from many tables.
"Sam, perhaps Josh might feel more comfortable outside."
"Yes, sir." Sam got to his feet and pulled Josh with him. "Cmon, let's go."
"Where?" Josh asked plaintively as he stumbled along beside Sam.
"Anywhere."
They had to pass several tables, and Josh smiled at them all. "This is my Sam. He's taking me anywhere. I'll go anywhere with you, Sam. You can take me home if you want."
At last Sam got him out the door and into the corridors. Josh continued to babble as Sam hustled him down towards their own offices.
Sam pulled Josh into a bathroom and turned on a cold tap. "Put your head under that," he ordered.
Josh protested as Sam thrust his head down into the sink, and held it there while cold water splattered over his face. He choked.
"I'm not drunk!"
"No, you're stoned. What the hell have you been taking? Do you know how much you've embarrassed me, yourself and the President?"
"I only took my back medication."
"How much?"
"The normal dose!" Josh leaned against the wall and wiped his face. He stared at Sam unhappily. "You've ruined the mood, you know that?"
"When did you take it?"
"At two thirty."
"Doesn't compute."
Pause. "And at six. Shit."
"Oh, great. And no food. You didn't eat either, did you?"
"I forgot. I'm sorry, Sam. Forgive me," Josh pleaded.
Toby entered the bathroom and stood with arms folded looking at Josh.
"What's the damage?" Sam asked.
"Well, nobody's talking about the speech, and seeing you wrote it, we didn't waste a good one."
"Seriously, Toby!"
"Seriously, the President was incredibly quick on his feet. Had everybody rolling in the aisles, at Josh's expense of course."
"I should be grateful?" Josh asked.
"Yes, you fucking well should! You might, just might, if you're dammed lucky, be the joke of the week. Because it gave everybody a hell of a laugh on a dull night. But don't count on it. We'll know by tomorrow's headlines."
Sam sighed. "I'm taking you home, Josh."
"Considering Josh made you a loaded offer to do just that in front of a hundred and fifty people, I don't think that's advisable," Toby snorted. "I'll take him home. You stay out of trouble."
"Toby, I'm not going to stay, okay? I'll get him home and I'll come straight back. If you go, it'll look like we're taking it seriously."
Toby looked unconvinced by Sam's logic, but waved him off. "I gotta go help CJ put a spin on it. Josh, if you come to work tomorrow, bring a suit of armor."
Sam drove Josh the short distance to his apartment. Josh had quietened down but he was still feeling no pain. He looked at Sam beside him and wagged a finger.
"Sam, you liked it."
"Oh, keep quiet."
"You did. I could tell. You didn't want me to stop."
"You ambushed me, Josh."
"And you liked it."
"Okay, I liked it. There. Happy?"
"Delirious."
Sam pulled up outside Josh's place, and deposited him on the doorstep. "I'm not coming in. Can you make it inside?"
"Why not come in?"
"Cos I don't trust you. Go to bed, Josh. Sleep it off."
"Not before you kiss me goodnight."
"Oh, for chrissakes, Josh! I have to go back and draft a statement about this!"
Josh moved, very quickly for someone whose world was floating in lazy circles around him, opened his door, pushed Sam inside the room, shut the door, held Sam against it, and crushed their mouths together.
Sam fought, trying to push Josh away, but couldn't find a purchase. They struggled for a moment, but Josh had the upper hand. Sam's mind flashed back to the dinner, and Josh's fingers on his groin, and the flush of heat they had caused. And suddenly, the warmth and the wetness of Josh's tongue against his overwhelmed him, and he stopped fighting.
Josh, my friend, my love.
Josh's grip eased, and Sam allowed himself one more dizzying moment of ecstasy, then pushed him away.
"Josh, I'd love to do this when you come down from orbit, but right now . . ."
"You're no fun, are you?"
"Not tonight. I gotta go. Go to bed."
"I love you."
"I know. Hold that thought over."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Sam smiled, and flicked Josh's cheek. "Raincheck."