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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
503
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
6
Hits:
896

South Greece

Summary:

Eve and Livia if they had been written by Matt Stone and Trey
Parker, creators of South Park

Work Text:

Xena, Gabrielle, Virgil and Joxer were standing at the side of a Grecian road.

"Hey, dude," Virgil said. "Did you hear about that real bitch Livia?"

"Yeah, dude," Gabrielle replied. "I hear she's a crackwhore like your mom."

"Hey, my Mom's not a crackwhore!"

"Then why's she on the cover of the weekly crackwhore scrolls?"

"Hey, that's not my Mom. You're lyin!"

"Will you shut up, fatass?" Xena spoke up. "Now let's get going. Maybe we can stop that bitch before she does something real bad."

"Mee mee mee mee mee mee mee."

Xena, Gabrielle and Virgil laughed. "Oh, Joxer, that was so funny!"

The four start walking down the road until they came across Octavius Caesar.

"Yo dude!" Xena shouted. "What'd you do with my daughter?"

"Whoa, just hold your horses there Xena. I've been taking care of her. I kept her away from the Gods and named her Livia."

"What? My daughter's that bitch Livia? What kind of asshole are you?"

"Hey, don't blame me. It wasn't my idea, now was it Augustus." Octavius holds up his right hand which is covered by a piece of cloth. "That's right, Augustus, you tell them."

"Hey, man," Virgil said, "this man's real wacko. Let's get out of here."

"Yeah," Gabrielle agreed. "Let's go find that bitch Livia."

"Okay," Xena said, then turned to Octavius. "You better hope we can save her, or else we're gonna get medieval on your ass."

"Mee mee mee mee mee."

"Yeah, you tell him Joxer."

The group continued walking when all of a sudden, someone came out of nowhere, holding a sword at Gabrielle.

"Hey, bitch, who do you think you are?" Xena asked.

"Yeah!" Virgil said.

"I'm your worst nightmare, and my name's Livia."

"You're my daughter!"

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"I say you are!"

"And I say I'm not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Mee mee mee!"

"You're right, Joxer." Xena said.

"Fuck this." Livia drives her sword into Joxer's stomach.

"Oh my God," Gabrielle exclaimed, "she killed Joxer!"

"You bastard!" Virgil cried.

Xena grabbed Livia and began shaking her. All of a sudden, Jesus appeared.

"Stop this violence, my children, and see the Light." With a wave of his hand, a light blinded Livia, showing her the Truth.

"Oh, man, what have I done?"

"You killed Joxer, you bitch!"

"I'm so sorry. How can I make it up to you."

"You can be my daughter again."

"Okay, Mom."

"Man, I love you Eve."

"I love you too, Mom. And you too Gabby. I'm so sorry I tried to kill
you."

"That's okay, man. You're cool."

"Am I the only one who has a problem with this?" Virgil was livid.

"Shut up, fatass."

"What are we gonna do now?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena shrugged. "I don't know. Let's go home."

The End.