SquidgeWorld Archive

Gibbs residence...midnight, one month after Kate's death.

Tony reached out carefully, gently resting a hand on Jethro's hip. The body under his hand didn't tense, move, show any indication that he felt the light touch. Which was an improvement on the previous night. And all the nights before that since...Tony sighed inwardly. He was hurting too, but Jethro seemed not to notice. Or care.

'I saw it.'

Tony almost missed the soft words. Jethro was facing away, they were both sleepy, and he frowned.

'Saw what?'

'Kate...'

Tony sighed again, this time unable to keep it silent. 'Jethro...don't do this ...there was no way you could have...' He stopped in mid-sentence, feeling Jethro's body move almost imperceptibly closer.

It had taken him a while after they became lovers to realize that this subtle movement was the Bossman's equivalent of anyone else throwing their arms around him and sobbing piteously.

Very slowly, as if wary of having his fingers crushed by the man beside him, Tony moved his hand over Jethro's hip - more prominent, he was sure, than he remembered and made a mental note to check Jethro was actually consuming something other than coffee - and slid his fingers fractionally onto the smooth warm belly which greeted his fingertips.

'It was that day...after Ari... when I opened the bodybag...I saw her.'

'Kate.' Tony's voice was soft, the word a check of his understanding of where the conversation was headed more than a question.

'I knew it wasn't her. But...just for a second...'

Tony moved boldly then, sliding up close to Jethro, his hand resting firmly over the taut belly, nipples pebbling on contact with the warm smooth skin of Jethro's back, other, lower, parts of his anatomy also reacting by flooding with blood.

'Tony...' Jethro protested.

'Shh.' Tony's hand slid up as his warm breath flowed over Jethro's shoulder.

'How can you think about...this!' Jethro hissed, tensing suddenly.

'Because she's dead! Kate is dead! And you pushing me away isn't gonna bring her back!' Tony sat up, angry and sad at the same time, arms hugging his cotton-covered knees.

Jethro rolled onto his back, pushing himself up on his elbows, angry words and expression dying the instant he saw Tony's tears. He took a couple of deep breaths, swallowed hard and tentatively reached out, his hand cupping Tony's jaw. He was relieved when Tony moved into the caress. 'I'm sorry. Tony?'

Tony sniffled, enjoying the moment for a brief second until Jethro's thumb stroked his cheekbone, clearing and drying the damp skin. 'I miss her.'

Jethro nodded, unable to force even a half-hearted smile. 'Me too.'

Tony slid closer to Jethro, leaning his face against the softly-furred chest, feeling Jethro's strong regular heartbeat against his cheek.

'She wouldn't have...um...you know...felt it, right?' Tony asked hesitantly, almost sure but needing to hear it from Gibbs.

'No.' Gibbs said firmly and quickly. He needed to believe that. And saying it out loud made it easier to believe.

He reached up, surprising himself as his arms crossed, trapping Tony against him. His libido had been on vacation since...that day, and showed no sign of returning until that moment. He felt Tony squirm a little and held him for just a moment longer. 'You have to pee Tony?'

Tony shook his head, his cheek scraping Jethro's chest. 'Nope. You?'

The hand that came up behind his head, impacting firmly, was a welcome sign that things were, slowly, getting back to normal. Tony made the usual hurt sounds, rubbed his head, scowled and pouted but inside he was feeling anything but cross. 'Thought I'd ask...you know...at your age...'

Jethro pushed Tony away firmly, growling, hands gripping Tony's forearms, moving to straddle Tony's thighs. 'Don't push it Tony. You're recovering from plague, remember?'

Tony grinned up at Jethro, reaching down, his hand cupping Jethro's balls. 'I wasn't planning on *pushing* anything.'

Jethro groaned in response. After a couple more minutes, Tony was groaning for a whole different reason.