Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Characters:
Language:
English
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
Stats:
Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
678
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
8
Hits:
886

Speechless

Summary:

Rating-FRT
Content Warning-None
Completed
Archive- Area 52 and McShep and Peja's archive automatically, anywhere else just ask.
Paring-none...yet
Spoilers- none that I can think of
Summery- Rodney is pissy, what else is new. But is John making it worse on purpose?
Disclaimer-Don't own 'em but if I did Century Hotel would be a mild film in comparison and there would be gay sex in the gate room.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Speechless
by Elfkin

Rodney had watched Sheppard saunter about with his hip-slung weapon and his cat-like pace since they'd come to Atlantis and he was tired of it. The more the gun belt and thigh strap hung the holster off the major's hip--like a gunslinger's might have sat-- the more it accentuated the major's narrow hips and well... other assets too. And Rodney was really tired of that. "This is not the Old West, major."

"S'cuse me?" John asked, the tone of his voice clearly indicating that he couldn't really care less what Rodney was going on about.

Rodney sighed in irritation. "I said, this isn't the Old West." His brow crinkled and he stopped in the middle of the clearing. A mission was not the best time to let his temper broil over, but really... the major was insufferable. "So why do you wear your sidearm that way?"

"What? You mean at my side?" John grinned lopsidedly and let the sarcasm ride along with the smug smirk.

Rodney refused to be bested. "No, technically I meant like a reject from a spaghetti western."

Rodney knew he'd scored when Ford exploded in snickers. The lieutenant was like a killer rabbit toy-- fluffy fun and yet with pointy death accessories. And he was a good indicator of a solid hit in his verbal war with Sheppard, since Ford seemed possessed of a rather juvenile sense of humor. Ah.... The lengths Rodney had to go to.

"Ford..." John scowled at the young lieutenant. He didn't need Aiden egging McKay on, even if accidentally.

 

"Sorry sir." Aiden sounded anything but. In fact, after a few moments of sealing it all behind a wide grin he burst out with more hissing laughter.

"Ford stop sniggering." John sigh long-sufferingly.

"Sir...I can't help it. Now I'm fighting with the name Slick Shoot Sheppard." At which point Aiden busted out of the snickering into full blown guffaws.

John was just relieved Teyla had not been available for this trip. Things might get ugly soon.

He looked at Rodney and deadpanned. "Can Carson remove his need to name things...surgically?" John paused for an addendum. "Without anesthesia?"

Rodney shrugged noncommittally.

Aiden got himself under control eventually, he was the only one.

 

Rodney was still annoyed. It was hot, he was coming off a caffeine high from being in the lab for a long shift the night before and Sheppard was standing there looking all sexy. So yes, Rodney was still in a mood. "Look, all I am saying is that the whole Cowboy thing you have happening is..."

"What?" John snapped.

"Well..." Rodney pretended to fish for the right word. "It's kind of lame."

"What!" John squawked. "I am never lame." Then he lowered his voice and gave Rodney a casual look. "It's a rule."

Faced with John's 'I'm the Fonz' attitude, Rodney finally lost it. "No major, The laws of gravity are rules, the functioning of Trans-dimensional Physics are rules, that time is mutable is a rule." He took a deep breath and got in John's face. "That you are never lame is a hypothesis that for a brief shining instant reached the auspicious rank of near-theory only to be shot down in a hale of Sheppard-isms that are not only qualifiedly lame, but also quantifiably trite. Point in case... the utterly lame Jim West meets Calvin & Hobbs thing you do. Like you're some gun slinging six year old from Hell." Rodney suddenly backed off, a little unsettled by Sheppard just standing there looking smug and rather pleased.

John looked slyly over at his 2IC who himself looked rather surprised. "Ford..."

"Yea, Major" Aiden composed himself.

"On a scale of 1 to 10... Exactly how pissy was that?" John wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Uhm... I gotta say sir-- at least a 50. Looks like you might win the pool this week after all." Aiden suddenly smiled widely again.

"Yep." John sighed happily. "That's what I thought." And he walked out of the clearing leaving Rodney in the uncharacteristic state of being speechless.

end

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Elfkin.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.