Work Text:
Mission: Makeover
Duo chuckled as he looked at his lover. While he hadn't expected to run into Heero outside the Sanq Plaza Mall, it was not an unwelcome surprise. However, there was something else that might be... "Heero...I always knew you were insane, but this takes the cake," Duo said, trying to keep his chuckles from becoming full-blown laughter. Prussian blue eyes flashed darkly. "I am not insane," Heero declared stiffly. Duo nodded solemnly. "You know you're sane...and the other pilots know you're sane..." He sighed and quirked a grin, unable to help his laughter at the sight in front of him, "...but I have to say I'm on the verge of questioning your sanity when you turn up in a public place dressed like a girl." Heero raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow, a small, wry smile on his face. "You'd rather I practiced my transvestite tendencies in private?" he quipped. Duo sputtered, shocked at his normally reticent boyfriend's audacity. Heero's 'Omae o korosu' Death Glare™ was not at all toned down by the fact that he was cross-dressing. In fact, his clothing only made him look even more ferocious for the fact of his seemingly innocent female façade. He was wearing a short, spaghetti-strap summer dress in a shade of light blue that complimented his eyes, and sensible low-rise sneakers in a matching hue. Never thought I'd see Heero 'Style of apparel is irrelevant' Yuy in color-coordinated clothing - never mind that it's feminine, Duo thought, inwardly smirking. A small frown creased his brow. But where'd he put his gun? he wondered. That dress is too tight for him to be wearing his back holster. A quick glance to the side answered his question - Heero was wearing a small white purse that looked just big enough to hold his gun...and a few extra clips of ammunition. Duo snorted. Figures, he thought, continuing his perusal of the other boy-turned-temporary-girl. Only the barest amount of the makeup graced Heero's already-androgynous features, just enough to make him look more feminine. Silver barrettes held his hair back from his face and Duo realized that for once, Heero's bangs weren't hanging in his face and obscuring his eyes, so he could actually see them for once. Boy, they're blue, Duo thought vaguely, dazed by the sight of those oh-so-penetrating orbs. Really blue... "It's for a mission," Heero said gruffly, though Duo could still tell that the other pilot was uncomfortable with the disguise he was forced to wear. And no wonder, Duo thought, inwardly chortling as he examined his lover. I have no idea what he had to do to get his 'package' out of the way, but it must not be the most comfortable feeling in the world to be so...constrained. Duo couldn't help but squirm at the thought. "Anything for the mission, ne?" he said instead of voicing his thoughts. Heero nodded curtly, the gesture looking oddly cute considering his feminine apparel. "And what exactly is this mission?" Duo had to ask. Heero sighed. "Relena is giving a speech at the Lady's Auxiliary of People for Peace on Saturday and we've received word that an assassin is after her. Not only is the assassin female, but since it's a meeting of the Lady's Auxiliary, everyone else at the meeting will be, too." "So you have to dress up like a girl to get in and not look suspicious so the assassin won't be tipped off," Duo guessed correctly, trying in vain to keep his lips from twitching up into a smile. Poor Heero... Although...guess this'll teach him not to snicker at me when I get the 'Dress up like a girl' missions, ne? Heero just grunted in answer, eyes flashing at the small signs of humor he could see breaking through Duo's carefully-schooled mask. "Then why are you dressed up today?" Duo asked. Though I have a feeling I know... Heero stared at him as if he was an idiot - not that Duo wasn't normally... "To practice my cover, baka," he growled, his tone of voice making it clear he wanted to add 'obviously' to the end of his answer. "Well, you seem to be doing a pretty good job," Duo admitted, eyes sparkling with barely-suppressed mischief. Heero just gave his lover an uncomprehending look. Duo smirked. "Five different guys have checked you out since I met up with you." Blue eyes widening, Heero whirled around, only to come face to leering face with Ogler Number Six. Glaring at the young man with enough heat to outshine the sun, Heero took grim satisfaction in watching the teen gulp nervously and scuttle away like a cockroach afraid of the light. Or a small, defenseless animal afraid for its continued existence in the face of an angry predator. Duo chuckled at the mostly familiar sight. Normally Heero has to glare girls away... He mentally shrugged. But it would make sense that as a girl, he'd have to deal with boys flirting with him, he thought, making sure his humor didn't show on his face. Though it's good to see that that Death Glare of his works just as well when he's a girl as when he's a boy, because... "Even as a girl, you are one hot number, Heero," he said sincerely. Heero turned his Death Glare on the braided boy, but its fierceness was belied by the well-hidden sparkle of honest appreciation of the compliment in his blue eyes. Luckily, Duo had always been able to find hidden things easily. Especially when it came to his friends - and lovers. "Though I do like you better as a boy," Duo continued on blithely. He leered playfully at his koi. "If for no other reason than your spandex shorts fit like a second skin." "That's only because I never wear underwear with them," Heero said dryly, rolling his eyes at the blatant sexual innuendo. Duo was more highly sexed than any teenage boy had a right to be. But that was okay - so were he and Wufei. In fact, high production of most hormones seemed to be a prerequisite for being a Gundam pilot. "Exactly," Duo agreed with relish. Heero snorted and rolled his eyes at the horny teen. "Baka," he said lovingly. "I know," Duo agreed. A moment later his face twisted up in a frown. Placing his hands on his hips, he took in Heero's apparel once more, shaking his head. "Wufei is going to explode when he sees you, 'Ro, you know that, right?" His lips quirked up in a grin as he imagined Wufei blowing his top. It was always a spectacular sight - and hot, too, which is why he annoyed their Chinese boyfriend so often - but it was rare that Heero was the one to cause it. Heero frowned. "Wufei's not here," he pointed out, knowing that their absent lover had taken Shenlong to Europe on a mission three days previously. Duo's grin widened and he shook his head. "'Fei showed up at the door about an hour after you left; mission went sour and he had to bail early." He shrugged unconcernedly, letting the other boy know that even though the mission had gone down the tubes, their other lover was still in one piece, and mostly uninjured. If Wufei had been in dire straits, Duo would never have found Heero's predicament so humorous. Which almost had Heero wishing that Wufei had at least bruised - if not cracked - a couple of ribs. Wincing at both the thought of wishing - even in such vague terms - harm on their currently absent lover - and what Wufei would think when he saw him - Heero muttered, "Kuso! He's not going to take it well, is he?" Strong hands that normally were adorned only with the rough calluses one received from holding a gun on a regular basis - and now had silver polish on their nails - fidgeted with the strap of his small white purse. Duo shrugged and hid a smile at the unconsciously nervous gesture. No matter how hard he tries to hide them, Heero does have emotions. "He might. I mean, it would be dishonorable to make fun of you because of the disguise you have to wear for our next mission, wouldn't it?" Frowning sourly, Heero said, "That's a lame excuse and you know it, baka." The look Duo gave him made Heero feel as if he'd just kicked a kitten. "Well, excuuuuse me for trying to make you feel better, Mr. 'Unfeeling Perfect Soldier'," the braided boy snarked to cover his hurt. Seeing that he'd really hurt Duo's feelings with his insensitive, thoughtless words, Heero tried to the best of his limited emotional ability to make amends. Duo pouting is sexy...Duo in a snit is annoying. "I don't exactly like the fact that I have to...dress up...for this mission," he admitted grudgingly, unable to help his flush as another male shopper passed by and blatantly checked him out. He unconsciously shifted closer to Duo, breathing a silent sigh of relief when the man eyeing him got the hint that 'she' was taken and go on his way. "And I really don't want to deal with Wufei ranting about 'blasted onnas' on top of it," he offered conciliatorily. Duo tilted his head forward in a tacit acceptance of Heero's implied apology. "Well, 'Fei was asleep when I left; maybe if we hurry back, you can change back into your regular clothes and he'll never be the wiser," Duo suggested. "We can't keep it from him forever, though," Heero pointed out, though he started walking east towards their current safehouse. "When he finds out I have a mission, he'll ask about it - and then I'll have to tell him." "You could always just not tell him you have a mission," Duo pointed out, following his lover and matching him step for step. "And when he wonders why I'm going to be gone all day Saturday?" Heero asked. "Normally, if none of us have missions, we spend the whole day in bed. If I don't tell him I have a mission, what's he going to think?" Duo grimaced. "Er...you have a point there." He shook his head. "Well, the weekend's not for a couple of days, maybe by the time Saturday rolls around we'll have figured something out." "You think so?" Heero asked, looking strangely hopeful. Wishing that he wasn't so averse to lying, Duo smiled weakly. "Maybe," he said, trying to infuse his voice with more confidence than he actually felt. Heero gave him a knowing little half-smile in return, letting his lover know that he knew what Duo really meant and appreciated his attempt at reassurance. Busted, Duo thought. "So, where did you get the dress and stuff, anyway?" he asked, wanting to take Heero's mind off Wufei's possible future explosion. "You go shopping?" Heero Yuy buying women's clothes...anything for the mission, I guess. He snickered silently at the thought of his normally stern lover trying to fend off the hapless employees in the women's clothing boutiques. "No," Heero answered succinctly, going back to his preferred monosyllabic answers now that he'd finished explaining his attire. Duo huffed at the supremely unenlightening answer and prodded, "Then where?" "Quatre," Heero said, still being reticent. "Ah, one of Q's sisters' stuff, ne?" Duo nodded knowingly. Heero, wry sense of humor piqued - and sensing a chance to get some of his own back - smirked. "No, I got this stuff from Quatre," he corrected, then sped up and headed farther down the street, hips swinging gently as he moved. Duo moved after him on autopilot for another few seconds, before his lover's words finally sank it. "WHAT!?" he exclaimed. Heero just turned and gave a small, secret smile before continuing on his face. Duo chuckled and ran to catch up with his lover. This is a story I have to hear.