SquidgeWorld Archive

Love Lost?
by JE

Tony's day just went down the drain. Here he'd gotten his courage up to finally ask Abby out, working long in preparations by giving her little presents regularly giving her compliments, trying to get her interested in him and the little fucker had to come and ruin everything. And what about the cards he had gotten? He was sure that Abby would have liked the play he had chosen, but now he's waited too long and lost his chance. And he couldn't even give the cards back. Damn his luck.

Considering to just get drunk and hook up with someone to numb his pain he pulled out his address book, thinking about who'd be available for what he had in mind to shut up his screaming and raging heart.

He was through the first few pages, ruling out those that wanted something else or were currently dating someone, when his phone rang.

Waiting until the answer machine got it, trying to be as anti-social as possible until he had chosen a date for the evening, he was surprised to hear the voice of someone he knew was dating some rich business man, "Tony? Are you there? If not I wondered whether you could..."

Jumping up, Tony made his way over to the phone, ripping the receiver of its cradle, nearly letting it crash to the floor, and answered, "How can I help you, Bernice?"

He tried to sound as cheerful as possible, but knew that he didn't succeed in any way.

"Before you come on wrong ideas, my boyfriend and I get along just well, but a friend of mine needs to get out a little, have some fun. If you don't mind me setting you up," was the answer.

Tony was close to saying no, but stopped himself just in time. Wasn't this what he was looking for? A little fun for the night? Sighing he answered, "Why not. I was just looking whom I could ask out for tonight and don't have anything planned for the rest of the week."

"You don't need to sound dejected! Or did something happen?" asked Bernice worried.

Shaking his head, not realising that his friend couldn't see it, Tony answered, "No, nothing is wrong. Just... you remember the girl I told you about? Abby? I had planned on asking her out Friday night. Only we got someone new at work and he was quicker than me and you know my policy."

"That's tough, but I'm glad that you're up for someone new instead of taking someone from your little book. And in case you wondered, my friend can be ready in two hours and you can fetch her from my place," was the heartfelt answer.

Agreeing to the time and telling her what he had in mind, Tony put the phone back down and picked his address book up, putting it back next to the phone and heading to the shower to prepare for the evening.



Two hours later Tony was standing in fine clothes in front of the door, waiting for someone to open the door. He was surprised when instead of Bernice her boyfriend answered the door and motioned him in.

Following the man into the living room he could hear Bernice calling down, "We're just about finished, won't take much longer."

"So you're Bernice good friend. She's said quite a bit about you, especially when she suggested you to ask about getting my cousin a date," broke the other man the silence.

Tony nodded before answering, "I might have a big address book and go regularly on dates with different women, but I only go as far as my date wants to and I don't lie to them only to get them in my bed. I think women are something special and should be treated as such; I just didn't find the right one for me yet. And I hope Bernice mentioned that I won't ask anyone out where I know they're in a relationship."

"Yes she mentioned that and I have to say I've never met a man with this opinion who's not willing to commit to one woman," was the answer, accompanied by a bright smile.

Tony released a breath he hadn't known he was holding at that, but was kept from commenting when Bernice and her friend came down the stairs. He had to admit that she looked beautiful with her blonde her pulled into a bun with a few hairs standing out and the baby-blue dress. Bernice only wore regular clothes that she most probably had worn at work today, but Tony could spot her beauty as well. Showing his appreciation to Bernice by raising his eyebrows accompanied with a smile, he watched them take the last few steps and awaited the introductions.

"Tony, may I introduce you to my friend and Jared's cousin Beth?" commented Bernice with a smile, "Beth, this is Tony, your date for the night. I hope you get along real well."

Tony could see Beth's shy smile and greeted her with a bigger one in return. Offering her his arm they said their goodbyes and went their way.

He had chosen an upper class restaurant that served mainly Italian food and some of the best wines you could get and it didn't take him more then 10 minutes to get there and an additional five to bypass the line waiting for entrance and be seated at the table he had reserved. It had advantages to be a regular after all.

It didn't take long for them to choose something to eat and within short time they started to talk, quickly finding common grounds. By the time they were finished eating Tony knew two things, one that he had found someone who had the same political ideas he had and two, his date was looking for more than just a night of fun, but if he was honest he didn't really feel up to it either. He'd only have Abby on his mind after all. He also knew that he'd have to tell Beth that too, wouldn't do to keep her thinking something else.

He coughed to get her attention and when he saw her calming down from the latest laughing fit, he started, "I don't know what Bernice told you about me, but I've never had a steady relationship yet and all my colleagues know me as a womanizer and I..."

"Bernice told me about your code. It's the only reason I really agreed to it. I'm done with relationships for the time, but I don't want a one-night-stand either. Bernice and Jared decided that I needed to get out however. I hope you don't mind," answered Beth.

Breathing a sigh of relief Tony answered, "To be honest, when I came home today I had been looking for someone to have some fun, but now I'm not sure anymore whether that would really change anything. It makes me glad that I agreed to go out with you and it was most definitely fun so far. I never found anyone to speak about politics in this way before."

He received a smile in response and returned it sadly.

"Bernice mentioned something about you being a little down when she called you earlier. What happened? Maybe I can help you," asked Beth upon seeing his slightly sad face.

Tony sighed and answered, "As you know I work with NCIS and there's this girl working in the lab. She's a Goths and has the habit of hanging up pictures of gruesome injuries, but deep down she's real sweet. I like her humour and I've been trying to get the courage up to ask her out. Only I was a bit too slow. We got someone new and he asked her real quick. Just my luck, isn't it?"

"That sounds as if you're head over heels in love. Maybe not all is lost. You don't know how their date ended and who's to say that anything is going to develop from this?" tried Beth to cheer Tony up.

"Maybe," attested Tony, "But we should talk about something else instead, this just makes me feel depressed."

"You're right. The idea of this was to make me have some fun and get out of the house and not to turn it into a pity fest," responded Beth with a slight smile.

They kept talking for a while until they decided that it was time to call the evening to an end. Just when they were standing up from the table, having paid and finished their wine, they were interrupted by a voice saying, "Tony! I didn't think that I'd be seeing you here tonight."

Turning around Tony came face to face with the one and only Abby Scuito. He could see McGee right behind her, looking slightly nervous.

Deciding not to be rude he started the introductions, "Beth this are Abby Scuito and Tim McGee, I work with them. Abby, McGee this is Beth a friend of mine."

When neither Abby nor McGee said anything about his lack of enthusiasm he figured that he had sounded cheerful enough.

"If you'd excuse us, we were just about to leave," ended Tony.

Both nodded and went to the table the waitress had led them to while Tony and Beth went to fetch their coats.

Once outside Beth commented, "She looks nice and you shouldn't give up on her. After all you have the older rights, don't you?"

Tony smiled at this and pushed his depressing thoughts aside again.

"So what do you want to do next? Want to take a stroll or should I bring you home already?" asked Tony after taking a deep breath of the cool night air.

Smiling Beth answered, "We could walk through the park over there for a few minutes for digestion and then we could call it a night."

Tony was quick to agree and an hour later he found himself in his bed alone, wishing Abby would be there with him.



The rest of the week was spent in similar fashion. He went out every night with someone else, usually ending with his date staying at his place or Tony staying at her place and a slightly hung-over morning.

At work he tried to keep everything up to normal, including his usual flirting with Abby, though whenever she returned everything his heart started to ache, knowing that this was only fun for Abby. He knew that she and McGee were going out on Friday night again that made him even more depressed.

Offering his tickets he had bought with the thought of asking Abby out to McGee and whomever he choose to accompany him, he tried to be as normal as possible and as far as he knew no one was the wiser about how he truly felt.



Another eventless week went by with him getting plastered every night and having some fun afterwards, but his heart was never with him and if his dates realised this, they didn't say anything.

He wondered how long he could keep this up when one Jethro Gibbs sat down opposite him late Friday night, looking expectantly at him.

He ignored him as best as he could and kept on getting drunk enough to stop thinking about Abby and what he lost because he was too slow. He wondered what Kate would say if she ever found out.

A few drinks later Gibbs became impatient and moved closer, trying to keep Tony from getting even more drunk than he already was. He was about to pull Tony back from the table and the glass on it, he wasn't sure what the other man was drinking, when said man suddenly turned around and without much thought started kissing him. Jethro couldn't stop him and not much later found that he didn't want to. Deciding to get them home first he pulled Tony up and went to the counter, paying for both of them and maneuvered him out of the bar and to his car.



The next morning found one very hung-over Tony DiNozzo wondering how his boss ended up in the bed, before the memories returned and he started to groan. Things just got even worse. He was about to throw the blanket on the other half of the bed and walk to the bathroom when an arm pulled him back.

"Since you're apparently sober enough again, you can explain to me why you've suddenly become so depressed and don't try to deny it. I've seen it clearly during the last two weeks and it is a wonder that no one else realized it yet and before you start to wonder. Last night won't play a role, I need a good excuse either way," said Jethro Gibbs.

Turning around Tony raised an eyebrow, "For what do you need a good excuse? For breaking your rule? Don't worry, I'm not interested in you in that way and neither did you do anything."

"That's good to know and no I didn't speak about breaking the rule. I mostly told Kate this since I could see that she would have tried something under certain circumstances, but I'm already in a relationship with Ducky. And before you ask: I need the excuse so he won't decide to go after my hide when I tell him," answered the grey haired man.

Deciding that lying wouldn't bring him anything he sighed before responding, "I guess you're the one Ducky took with him to the play. You know I had originally planned on asking Abby to go with me, but then McGee comes and asks her before I could."

"You're usually strait forward with women. Why not with Abby?" asked the older man confused.

Tony laughed dryly before answering, "Abby is not just anyone and I have a rule. You know about my address book where I write every woman in? I don't just write the numbers down, but also preferences, whether they're someone to have some fun in the bed with no strings attached or just someone to have a nice evening with. I respect their wishes and I don't ask them out when they're dating someone. I treat them the way a woman should be treated, with respect. Abby doesn't belong in this category; neither does what I want from her. I want something steady and that is something where I'm not experienced and I tried going slow on it, giving her presents, complementing her and I just had gotten the courage up to ask her when McGee appeared. Now I'll never have a chance."

Gibbs was surprised at the depth of Tony's thoughts and the depth of the pain he showed. He had thought that Tony had a special way with women and this admission didn't come as a surprise, but the one about Abby. That was a surprise, but not totally. He just hadn't figured that he could get hurt so much about it.

"Tony, don't beat yourself up over it. Who knows if this will keep up and maybe you'll get a chance earlier than you think. And if not, I'm sure there plenty of women out there who wouldn't mind waking up to your charm every morning," tried Jethro to lighten up his co-workers mood, "And who's going to keep me inline when I'm getting to moody?"

Tony laughed at that, before standing up and preparing for the day. Once he was finished he offered the shower to his boss and started making breakfast and extra strong coffee.

It had been different when he told Beth less than two weeks ago, but this time he felt somehow freer as if a heavy weight had been taken from him and maybe it was. Now there was someone at work whom he didn't need to pretend when around and he had no doubt that Ducky would know too when he had understood what Gibbs had said correctly.

He was just finished with everything when the man on his thoughts entered the kitchen, raising an eyebrow when he saw the breakfast.

"I can cook you know? And I made your coffee extra strong," defended Tony himself before sitting down on one side and starting on his breakfast.

Gibbs followed his example and sat down, tentatively testing the breakfast. He was positively surprised to find out that the younger man had spoken the truth when he said that he was able to cook.

When everything was finished Gibbs stood up and said, "I need to go or Ducky will get worried..."

"He most probably is. I mean you don't return on a Friday night?" interrupted Tony.

Gibbs grimaced and answered, "I told him that I'd be out, checking what is wrong with you, but it wasn't supposed to end this way. He's most probably worried. Nothing good happens when you're right DiNozzo."

"What can I do for it?" asked Tony with a small smile on his face. He liked this bantering between them and he knew how it was meant. They had come to an understanding about this half a year after he had started at NCIS. In tolerance for his goofy-ness Gibbs wouldn't need to outright compliment him. They had a similar talk about Tony's feelings, only that this talk hadn't taken place in a bedroom with both of them naked.

Tony suddenly smiled a brighter smile, "Oh and if Ducky gives you any trouble about me then tell him that I don't take a no when I'm too drunk. I usually know how far things will go and can tell when I should stop drinking, but I was alone last night."

"That reminds me. What about your car? Do…," asked Gibbs only to be interrupted by Tony, "I planned on drinking so much. Do you really think that I would have driven home that way? I used a cab to get there, fully intent on using one on the way home."

"That's good to know. Wouldn't have wanted you to have an accident and then I'd have the whole team on my back about not realizing anything was wrong with you," answered Gibbs.

Tony led him to the door after telling him that he'd take care of the plates and waited for the other man to check whether he had
everything he needed.

After finding everything in its place Gibbs turned around and said, "Don't do anything stupid and I'll see you Monday morning bright and early."

"I won't. See you Monday," responded Tony, watching his boss walk over to his car and get in.

Closing the door Tony sighed and sank to the floor. He knew that what happened the previous night wouldn't have any consequences and he understood that Gibbs wouldn't reveal anything of this to anyone but Ducky, but none of this changed the fact that he lost Abby; no matter how optimistic Gibbs was that he'd still have a chance. Cursing his luck he contemplated calling up someone and going out tonight, but after thinking about the last evening he decided against it. Gibbs didn't tell him not to get drunk, just not to do anything to risk his health by driving drunk or otherwise injuring himself.




Half an hour after he started the car Jethro Gibbs arrived at his house. He could see Ducky's car sitting outside and movement behind the kitchen window. His lover was there alright and up as well. It was time to share what he had learned and confess about what he had done.

Taking a deep breath he got out of the car and locked it, straightening up he started walking to the front door.

Once inside he headed to the kitchen where he came face to face with an angry coroner, "Where have you been all night? I thought you only wanted to find out what was wrong with Anthony?"

"Well I found out what is wrong with him, but I also did something stupid. If you'd let me explain and hopefully forgive me afterwards," sighed Gibbs, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

Ducky motioned him to sit down at the table where leftovers from breakfast were visible along with two cups of steaming coffee.

Apparently Ducky had seen him coming.

Sighing again Gibbs started, "I found him in a bar, downing one drink after another. Not sure what he drunk, but it must have been something strong. After a while I joined him at the table and was ignored until I moved closer. He'd… We… Let's just say that Tony was drunk enough to not care who I was and you know how little I can resist anything tempting."

"You mean you...," started Ducky, realization showing on his face.

Gibbs continued before the coroner could say anything else, "I didn't mean to let it go so far, but things happened. I stayed at his place and when Tony woke up this morning he more than regretted what happened. I told him about us and that nothing would change at work, well I told him after he confessed to me what was wrong."

He could see the raised eyebrow and the underlying forgiveness, but the promise that he wouldn't forget about this. He'd get punished for his infidelity at a later time, for now Tony was more important.

"He told me about his code in dealing with women. They want a one-night-stand, they get one. They only want to have fun on a night out, they get this. He writes this preference in his book where he keeps their numbers. He also knows when they're dating someone. He also told me that there is someone he considers different from all others and he thinks that he ruined his chances. Well not ruined, but waited to long to do something about it," finished Gibbs.

Ducky sighed and asked, "It's Abby, isn't it? The presents, the compliments? Abby is worried too, you know? She said she missed the presents and that Tony wasn't his usual self, his compliments are only half hearted."

Gibbs nodded and after a while added, "You know I've never seen him this heartbroken."

"We'll have to do something about it. I'll speak with Abby about this. I won't mention what Tony told you, just try and find out what Abby feels about this," planned Ducky and after a pause he contemplated, "He wanted to invite Abby to the play, didn't he? She would have loved it. She envied me when she found out I had gotten cards."

The rest of the weekend was spend thinking about ways how to get Abby and Tony together, while Gibbs was punished in just terms by having to sleep on the couch for a week.




Come Monday their plan was about to be put into action. They hoped that it'd work.

They needn't have worried about it though as Ducky found out soon enough. When he went to see if Abby was already in her lab he found her doing a test forcefully, clinking the beakers together at every opportunity and setting the instruments down in a way that it was a wonder none of them had broken yet. Apparently her weekend hadn't gone over so well.

"Abby, dear, what happened?" asked Ducky gently.

When the Goths turned around he could see the anger on her face along with traces of tears long run out, "McGee is what happened! I saw him with some chick last night, making out!"

"Oh Abby, I'm sorry to hear that," responded Ducky, taking her in his arms. All the while he was doing a happy dance mentally. This solved the problem of getting Abby to forget about McGee. Now all they had to do was set her up with Tony, knowing him he'd refuse once he heard how Abby was hurt, afraid that he'd do the same.

With a sob the lab rat continued, "And Tony's doesn't like me anymore. Nobody likes me!"

"Abby, hush, I like you and Gibbs does too and I'm sure Tony likes you as well," said Ducky in a sure voice.

Abby just shook her head and said, "Then why doesn't he joke with me anymore? He's always distant lately, no matter how hard he tries and he's stopped leaving me presents."

"I'm sure there's another reason. Why don't you fix yourself up now and the two of us will have a drink after work together and talk about this?" suggested Ducky.

When Abby nodded he let her go and ushered her to the bathroom. He could see the small, if still mostly sad, smile on her face. Taking a deep breath he went back to his office, intent on informing Gibbs about the new development and slowly an idea was forming.



The day was over soon enough, with no major cases coming on and after closing up he fetched Abby, leading her to the bar a street down from the office. When he opened the door he looked around and quickly spotted Gibbs and Tony at the far wall sitting at a slightly secluded table. If his lover hadn't been sitting on the only chair not behind the small wall erected for privacy he wouldn't have been able to spot them at all. He steered her through the crowed and told her to sit down, that he'd be getting her something to drink. Ducky saw her hesitate when she realized who was already sitting at the table and motioned her to take a seat, before walking over to the counter and ordered Abby's favorite drink, something she had confessed to him once, and asked it to be delivered to the table. Before he could say anything else his lover came up behind him and ordered a drink for Tony and two for both of them to be drunk at a different table.



Meanwhile Abby and Tony were looking anywhere but each other, occasionally stealing a glance. After a while Tony couldn't hold it any longer and ask, "So how's McGee?"

"I don't care," answered Abby with a bit more force than necessary.

Tony was surprised to hear that, "I thought you got along well?"

"Apparently not well enough. I saw him kissing some blonde bimbo last night," responded Abby angrily, "What's it to you anyway?"

"I...," said Tony soundlessly, unsure how to respond. Looking down on the table, he was surprised when a waitress set two drinks on the table before going again before he could ask a question.

Suddenly it dawned on him. Ducky must have heard of McGee's betrayal earlier and together with Gibbs decided to get them some time alone together, but was this really the right time? Pushing his glass from one side to the other he remained silent, thinking about what to do next.

After some time he started, "You know that Ducky and Gibbs probably planned this?" He could see how Abby looked up startled and ready to question his intelligence, but he halted her by motioning her to remain silent. "I mean I doubt that they'll be joining us again and by the way they arranged it this is the only possibility," explained Tony.

He could see her thinking about it and bowing down to the truth, "But why would they do that?"

Tony opened his mouth to answer, but could think of so many reasons that he didn't know which one to use. Instead he downed his drink in one go and decided to try some of usual forcefulness and plain and simple ask her to join him.

"Want to go somewhere else? Dance maybe?" asked Tony standing up.

Abby looked up at him and down to her drink again. Following Tony's example she downed it in one go and answered with a smile, "Sure, why not?"

On his way out he noticed Ducky and Gibbs sitting in a different booth, following their way, the coroner motioning that he'd already paid for their drinks. Smiling in their direction he led Abby out of the bar and back to where he had parked his car in the morning.



The next morning Kate and McGee were surprised to see a brightly smiling Tony entering the office and sitting down at his place, diving into his work.

"Won't you be telling us about what a wonderful date you had yesterday?" asked Kate carefully.

Tony just smiled at her and said, "The best I ever had."

Gibbs arrived just in time to hear Tony's statement and smiled at him, showing that he was glad Abby and Tony had found each other before commenting on Kate's disbelieving face.

"Something wrong Agent Todd?" asked Gibbs, successfully startling the Profiler.


END