Work Text:
Untitled CSI
by Faith Harris
Shit.
That was the first thought that passed through Nick's head when he saw the Crime Stopper's newsletter posted on the bulletin board. His next thought was that he was going to *kill* whoever put it up there. With an aggravated sigh, he ripped it off the board, silently cursing anyone on the team who might have read it already. He was sure that someone was snickering at him. In fact, screw someone. Most of the people in the lab. He tried to figure out who could have spread the article so quickly-
He could hear the laughter in the breakroom before he even made his way in. Trying to keep from getting too annoyed at the occupants of the room- Sara and Warrick- he suck his teeth before taking a deep breath. He smirked and shook his head. This was *truly* ridiculous. At least he was pretty sure that Warrick wouldn't have spread it around. That wasn't Warrick's style.
Warrick was talking to Sara. "-who wrote this?"
"You're kidding, right?" Nick wanted to throttle something. Someone. The people who started Crime Stoppers came to mind.
" `Nick Stokes'," Warrick read aloud, " `Crime Stopper'." Nick couldn't help but laugh; yeah, it sounded damned hokey. "You went
Hollywood on me, man."
Before Nick could respond, Sara took her chance at torturing her. It was clear that she was enjoying this. "And I quote, `in his off time, he enjoys creating and inventing toys'. That's fascinating. What kind of toys do you make, Nick?"
A voice in Nick's head, one that sounded remarkably like his boyfriend back in the lab, dared him to make a dirty response. Fortunately, he was a bit more mature than his boyfriend. Now, under most circumstances, that didn't actually mean much. "I thought I got my hands on those departmental newsletters. Where'd you get those?"
As he took the article from them, Warrick and Sara answered him simultaneously. "Greg."
Speaking of his immature boyfriend...Nick grimaced. "Yeah, that figures." Greg loved that type of stuff, even if it pissed Nick off to no end. The real question was why Nick had felt it necessary to even *question* who had been spreading the article.
Nick even knew how Greg had gotten a hold of it, even after Nick had tried to get rid of all the copies of the newsletter. Greg had been over the day that Nick got the first couple of copies of the thing, and when Nick was going on about how he didn't want it to get around the lab, Greg had probably swiped a copy. It was the same kind of bizarre thing Greg would do. Nick knew that it had to do with the fact that Greg was proud of himâ€"Greg had spent several hours proving how proud he'd been--, but it was embarrassing. Highly embarrassing.
He got down to business quickly though. He'd kill Greg Sanders later. "All right, listen, Grissom wants us to divide and conquer. Blond hair for you."
As Nick handed Warrick the bagged blonde hair, Warrick commented dryly, "I do love a blond."
His burning desire to plaster a photo of Greg's favorite duck boxers in revenge kept him distracted enough to not reply to Warrick comment. Instead, he placed the phone records in front of Sara. "Sara, you're on phone records."
"Yay," she replied sarcastically.
Nick took this as an opportunity to crumple the newsletter into a little ball, tossing it into the garbage. Warrick had to protest. "Hey, I wasn't done reading that!"
"Yes," Nick replied as he left the room. "You are."
Greg saw Warrick enter the lab from over the magazine, but he decided not to look up. He knew perfectly well what Warrick was there for, but hey, he was Greg Sanders, right? There were no simple ways of dealing with him, he'd decided that would be the case a long time ago. People had to work to glimpse into his genius.
Anyway, DNA verses an article of Pink? Greg's priorities weren't *that* screwed up.
"How's that platinum blond coming?" Warrick asked.
"Wrong question," Greg replied, turning a casually. Let Warrick stew with that one for awhile. It'd keep him on his toes, at least until he got annoyed with Greg and demanded to know the answer to his question.
"Come on Greg," Warrick groaned. His patience was short today. "I'm not getting anything out of trace. I was hoping you could help me out here."
With a casual sigh, Greg made the decision to let Warrick off easy today. He'd already done his `annoying society' deed for the day when he'd taken the Crime Stoppers article from Nick's place. "I took a snip, ran a crossed immuno-electrophoresis." He tossed the magazine down for a moment so he could toss Warrick the bagged hair sample. "Didn't pass." He went back to his article. Now Warrick could go away and leave him in peace.
But that would make his life easy, wouldn't it? "Not hair?" Warrick sounded confused. Made sense. "Not human?" There was a pause. "What are you reading?"
Greg showed him the cover and resisted rolling his eyes. Sometimes Warrick was *so* uncultured. "This is Pink. Pink, this is Warrick." Greg couldn't help himself; turning the cover to himself, he started to talk to it. "Do you know how hot you are?" He made a sizzling sound, and probably destroyed what little respect Warrick might have had for him.
"Bet I know someone who's hotter," Warrick commented, and that nearly got Greg's full attention. It was the second half of the sentence that did it. "-and I'm not talking about looks."
Greg smirked a bit as he looked up at Warrick. Oh, he knew damned well what Warrick was referring to. However, in Greg's opinion, he was sure that Nick was still physically hotter than he was mad. And Warrick was right about Nick being hotter than Pink.
"Yeah?" Greg tried to sound casual about it, but his curiosity was seeping through.
"Yeah," Warrick replied.
Greg felt like he was conspiring with Warrick for some reason. Which was odd, since Warrick really had nothing to do with this. It was the talking without saying Nick's name that made it sound like a conspiracy, Greg was sure. "How mad is he?"
"Watch your back." With that, Warrick left the lab.
Greg chuckled, opening the magazine again. He shook his head. "But Warrick, I *like* when he surprises me from behind."
There were some snarky comments best left unsaid. Greg, apparently, enjoyed saying them anyway. At least Warrick hadn't heard him.
end