Work Text:
Author's Note: Where I poke fun at one of my own slash pieces
Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century.
Moriarty had just finished beating Fenwick to within an inch of his life. Satisfied that his henchman was indeed telling him the truth, Moriarty released him.
"Very well, Fenwick. I am convinced that this document on the Internet was not written by you under a pseudonym."
"How could you ever think that for a moment that I would betray you, Master?" said Fenwick.
"I had to be sure. You understand, don't you? It looks so much like a plot you could use against me, and I certainly cannot allow that to happen."
"Master, I swear to you that I am and always will be loyal to you!" said Fenwick.
Moriarty nodded and turned his attention to the computer screen. He read again this document that he had found so disturbing. He had come across it accidentally while searching the Internet for new ways to destroy Sherlock Holmes.
What he stumbled upon shocked him: the world of fan fiction.
One tale in particular disturbed him. It described Moriarty and Holmes being held prisoner in a cage and forced to engage in homosexual relations, or be killed. And in this tale Fenwick was the one behind it.
So naturally, the professor had to question Fenwick if he knew anything about this.
Moriarty decided something had to be done about these pieces of fan fiction.
It is time to call a truce, he thought.
He grabbed his coat and headed out the door of his lair, leaving Fenwick behind to convalesce.
Sherlock Holmes was very surprised to find his enemy Professor Moriarty paying him a visit at 221B Baker Street.
"A truce, if you please," said Moriarty waving a white handkerchief.
"Why should I trust you?" asked Holmes. Watson stood beside ready if his help was required.
"I can understand your skepticism, Holmes. But this is something that must be stopped, and I need your help."
Holmes paused and stared at Moriarty.
"You have piqued my interest," said Holmes. "Very well, Moriarty. Have a seat. Tell me everything."
"It will be easier if I show you. Please log on to the Internet here at your computer."
Within minutes Moriarty showed Holmes various links to the fan fiction pieces he found most disturbing, namely the slash ones pairing Holmes with Moriarty.
Moriarty watched Holmes' face for a reaction as the detective read the story.
"Outrageous, isn't it, Holmes? We have to put a stop to this!"
"Moriarty, you have come to me at a time when I am already dealing with a problem I am having as a result of fan fiction."
"You are? What kind?"
"I refer to the kind written by what is known as 'shippers'. I did not know about these until about a month ago when Inspector Lestrade's behavior toward me changed."
"Changed in what way?"
"It began in subtle ways, like when she would brush up against me. Or she would pick imaginary lint from my coat while I was wearing it. The frequency of those questionable physical contacts increased within a week. She invited me out to dinner several times, but I declined."
"How is all that tied in with the 'shippers' you mentioned?"
"They planted the seed in her mind to pursue a relationship with me of a romantic and intimate nature. One day she showed me links to where people posted fan fiction pairing me with her. I found them to be most disturbing. But she liked them and asked me if I thought we'd make a cute couple. I almost gagged right there in front of her."
"You don't fancy Lestrade?"
"Good heavens, no. Any feelings I have for her are strictly professional. Lestrade is a colleague, nothing more. She is not the type of woman I would choose to involve myself with as a potential girlfriend or wife. There is no chemistry between us due to her snarky and annoying ways."
"Well, you know her better than I do. But let's get back to this slash that I have shown you. What are we to do about it?"
"May I interject here, gentlemen?" asked Watson.
Holmes and Moriarty turned to the compudroid who had been quiet all during this time.
"Of course, Watson," said Holmes.
"I don't see why you should let a mere handful of amateur writers of fan fiction bother you. They are simply using it as an outlet to fulfill their fantasies. What is the harm in that?"
"Watson, weren't you paying attention? Lestrade's romantic pursuit towards me was started when she read some of those 'shipper' fanfics."
"But they're not responsible for how Lestrade chooses to behave as a result of reading those stories. She's responsible for her own behavior. We should focus on that."
"So you don't see any problem whatsoever with fan fiction?" Moriarty asked Watson.
"No. I certainly do not."
"What about the slash ones that pair up you with Holmes?"
Watson stared at Moriarty.
"Show me."
Moriarty pulled up a link to an archive of some very hot and graphic Holmes/Watson slash.
"Good heavens! I had no idea these existed!" cried Watson.
"Disturbing, aren't they?" asked Moriarty.
Watson did not reply as he scanned the slash site for a few minutes.
"Watson? Watson?" asked Holmes.
"Oh, excuse me. Yes, fascinating indeed, this, er, slash," said Watson.
Is this compudroid blushing? Moriarty stared at Watson and wondered.
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To Be Continued