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It was late. Eleven-thirty to be exact. Their shift had ended over five hours ago, and yet Gibbs was still at headquarters adamantly refusing to go home. Finally he finished going over the reports. He was pleased with McGee. He'd finally stood up for himself, granted he'd needed a lot of encouragement first, but it appeared as if he'd gained more confidence today. Kate had impressed him as well. She'd openly admitted to being afraid for Tony's life. Gibbs knew that deep down both Kate and Tony loved each other very much, the sibling bond between them was strong. And Tony?
'Oh God' Gibbs thought. 'Tony.'
"I know your worried about Tony." Kate's words echoed in his head. He remembered saying that he was only worried about the case, that and his perfect record. Damn, he was pathetic. He couldn't even admit to Kate that he was worried about Tony.
'Technically, I wasn't worried. Technically, I was terrified.'
Gibbs remembered seeing Tony's weary, unshaved face with a sad half-smile on it. He remembered hearing the forced laughter, but what he remembered hearing most was silence. During the two hour drive back to headquarters noone spoke. Kate didn't admit to Tony that she'd been worried about him; nor did Tony divulge the details of what happened, details that we all knew would never make it into the official report.
Belatedly Gibbs realized that they'd never asked Tony if he was okay. They just expected everything to be fine; even though Tony had just been in life threatening circumstances it was as if he was expected to be perfectly fine in ten minutes.
Gibbs stood up and gathered his coat and various files and folders. Then he went over to Kate's desk and left her a note explaining that both he and Tony would not be in tomorrow. He wrote to call them if necessary, but Tony needed the day off and he was going to stay with him and watch over him. Since tomorrow is going to be a Friday and all five of them have Saturday and Sunday off he wished Kate, McGee, and Abby a good weekend and left the building.
*****
It took him half an hour to reach Tony's apartment and another ten minutes to convince himself to knock on the door. Gibbs was shocked to find that the hand he raised to knock with was shaking. Gibbs sighed and leaned against the doorframe.
'I can't do this. I wouldn't blame him if he shut the door in my face. I know that I'm not always the nicest person to him, but someone has got to toughen him up, especially if he will eventually become my lover.'
Tony was too trusting. Gibbs knew that if, one day, he finally decided to tell Tony the truth, that he was in love with him, Tony would need to be strong enough to deal with him, both physically and mentally. That was, of coarse, based of the billion-to-one odds that Tony wouldn't turn him down outright, which would cause Gibbs to slowly fall apart. Jethro Gibbs was not one to fall in love easily, it had taken him a while to realize and accept that he was attracted to men. His three ex-wives were proof of this.
Finally Gibbs worked up enough of his fleeting courage and he knocked softly on the door. When he had no response he tried again, only harder. When he had still no response he tried to think like Tony usually did. He'd noticed the silly little Tweety statue standing outside the door, Gibbs put his hand in its mouth and pulled out Tony's spare key. He reminded himself to lecture Tony about being predictable later. For now he unlocked the door and silently slipped inside the apartment.
*****
Gibbs finally found Tony in his bedroom. He'd collapsed into his bed, fully clothed, and from the look of his newly shaven face, he'd been crying. Currently, however, he was fully relaxed in a "healing sleep". Gibbs quietly walked over to Tony and gently removed his shoes and socks. Then he walked over to his face and softly brushed back the errant hairs that had fallen onto his face. Gibbs took a step away from Tony's body, closed his eyes and sighed heavily; he was happy that Tony was safe and calm, even if it was only temporarily.
"You do know that I'm awake, right Boss?"
'Shit, caught'
"Boss? Are you okay?"
Tony turned over and sat up in the bed. He looked at Gibbs through worry filled eyes. It wasn't everyday that Gibbs showed enough concern for a member o his 'team' to come over to their home and check on them. Tony knew this and was both shocked and overjoyed that Gibbs, the man he respected and loved, cared enough about him to come over to check on him. That had to mean that he cared about him, either that or Ducky forced him to check up on him.
"I'm fine DiNiozzo. How are you holding up?"
"Alright. Is something wrong? Do we have a new case?"
"No, of corse not DiNiozzo, why would you ask me that?"
"Why else would you be standing in my house in the middle of the night, Boss? By the way, how did you get in here anyway?"
"Your very predictable, and I'm here because I realized that I let you leave without checking to see how you were holding up. Are you going to be okay."
"Yeah, I'm fine now."
"Then why were you crying, and why is your smile still forced, DiNiozzo? I notice things. Little things like when a member of my team is upset, I know. Don't try and lie to me DiNiozzo, I will find out."
""I've been lying to you for two years now."
Tony mumbled the words, but Gibbs heard them anyway, plain as day. Try as hard as he like, those words didn't anger him. Normally when he learned that he'd been lied to Gibbs was furious, but tonight he got excited. Gibbs somehow knew that both their lives would change right here, right now.
"And just what have you been lying to me about for the past two years DiNiozzo?"
'Shit, sometimes I forget just how good his hearing actually is. At least he doesn't sound angry. He sounds more amused then anything else. Maybe I should tell him, get it all out. It's getting to damn hard to work knowing he's right in front of me, and he gently brushed my hair just a few moments ago. Besides, I can always move away, transfer jobs and hopefully move on once he rejects me.'
"The women, Boss. My dates, my girlfriends, my long nights, my feelings."
Tony's voice dropped after her said each item. He was beginning to regret this corse of action. Gibbs was thinking about his words. Although the last two were spoken in no more then a whisper both men knew that Gibs had heard it. Gibbs also knew that while this was no confession of undying love, it was a start. He knew he would have to be very careful in everything he said and did to keep Tony from running away. He slowly moved towards the bed and sat down next to Tony, twisting his body to face the younger man's.
"I had a feeling that something was off about the girlfriends, they never called to nag you about the odd hours. As for your feelings, your going to have to be more specific about exactly what we're talking about here."
Tony stood up and quickly moved to the other side of the small room. He put just as much space between the two bodies as he possibly could. Gibbs mentally kicked himself for moving into Tony's personal space to fast, but before he could try again Tony spoke.
"What I ment by feelings was what I was beginning for you. I came to work one day and realized that I was in love with you. I already know that you don't feel the same way so, please, leave me to my tears and I'll e-mail my resignation so that you don't ever have to see me ever again."
Gibbs stood up and walked over to where Tony stood; he saw Tony start to shake as he got closer. He had to give Tony credit though, he didn't run away. Tony was trembling and on the verge of tears when, without warning, Gibbs pulled the frightened young man into a tight embrace.
"You weren't crying because of the case at all were you Tony?"
The tears that had ben gathering in Tony's eyes fell, and Gibbs held him close until he'd calmed down. Gibbs knew that Tony was a mess right now, and he led them to the bed and sat them both on it, pulling Tony into his arms. When Tony had calmed down he seemed to melt into the older man. The way that their bodies fit together showed just how made for each other they were.
"Maybe in my quest to make you a stronger person I pushed you to hard, Tony. I'm sorry I made you cry. You need to know that wasn't my intention. I just wanted you to be strong enough to deal with me and all the problems I have. If I'd known what an effect I had on you this whole time I would've told you sooner how I felt. I love you Tony."
"I never ment for this to happen this way Boss-"
"Jethro. Use my name once in awhile Tony."
"Jethro, it's just that I'd had it. I couldn't deal with everything, you ignoring me, the lack of sleep and food, everything."
"Lack of food and sleep?"
"Yeah Jethro, funny thing about undercover work, you don't always get three meals a day and eight hours sleep per night."
"It's nearly quarter-til, lets lay down and get some sleep. Neither of us are going in tomorrow and Kate already knows that."
"Okay. Jethro, will you stay with me?"
"Forever Tony, I'll stay with you forever."
End