Work Text:
Not Seeing Red
by Ragna
writinggoddess@aol.com
// I won't stop following you
Now help me pray for
The death of everything new
Then we'll fly farther //
Spike paced in the crypt. He wanted to go to Buffy, shake some sense in her. He was perfect for her, didn't she see that?
The more he listened to this strangely hypnotic song, the more he paced, the more he got angry and wanted what was his.
// 'Cause your my girl and that's alright
If you sting me, I won't mind //
But he stopped everything for one moment. Buffy wasn't his. She was her own woman...wasn't that one of the things that he had admired about her from the get-go?
She was her own woman. She was her own woman, she wasn't a possession. He had to just keep reminding himself of that.
// We'll stop to rest on the moon
We'll make a fire
I'll steal a carcass for you
Then feed off the virus //
But it was hard! The need welled up inside him. He wanted her. He craved her. There was a force so strong inside him to have her that it threatened to tear him apart from the inside and toss his carcass aside like a piece of trash.
Trash. He was trash. He wanted to hurt her to make her cry and at the same time he wanted to hold her and love her and just make her see...he wanted to just make her see.
// Cause your my girl and that's alright
If you sting me, I wont mind
Cause your my girl and that's alright
If you sting me, I wont mind //
This was more complicated than anything before. He'd never been much in the way of controlling a woman; Dru had him wrapped around her little finger and Harmony was no more than a stupid fling that he couldn't care less about. He hadn't wanted to control them; point of fact, he'd just let Dru control him.
But with Buffy he wanted to be her equal. He wanted her respect and the power that came with that respect. He needed that power...
// Now lookout
Lookout now
Lookout - sting
Now lookout
Lookout now
Lookout - sting
Now lookout
Lookout now
Lookout - sting
Now lookout
Lookout now
Lookout - sting //
Power. It all boiled down to power. Everything in the world boiled down to power...even sex and lust and...rape.
Oh, God. He'd been so close to the action all he'd needed was a push and some cover and he'd have been inside her home, forcing himself on her and in her.
He'd have lost any chance with her forever...
// I see a red light in June
And I hear crying
You turn newborn baby blue
Now we're all the virus //
He sat on the floor of his crypt, head in hands, crying.
It wasn't how he was supposed to be. He was weak, and he was alone.
But he still had hope.
//You're my girl and that's alright
If you sting me, I won't mind
Cause you're my girl and that's alright
If you sting me, I won't mind //
***
Buffy stepped out of the shower, clean and refreshed. It would be a good day after all, she thought, the sense of foreboding leaving a bit. That sense would always be there, but today...maybe today wouldn't be so bad.
She yelled down to Tara and Willow. "Hey, guys? Want to get some food? We can grab something out of the house."
After hearing their affirmative answers, she smiled and peeked out the bathroom window. Things really would be okay today.
END