Work Text:
Nine Lives
by Kryceks_Deadly_Apostle
Once during a gunfight five Consortium men are killed, one of them - Krycek. The coroners make it to load four bodies inside the car, but there is no place for the fifth, so they put Krycek's body up on the car's roof and take off.
While driving, the body falls off the roof and so unfortunately that a truck following coroner's car drives over it.
The driver jumps out of the car. 'Oh holy crap, I killed a man... what to do now? What to do?'
He takes off his jacket, brings sunglasses from the truck, puts the body on a bench in the park, puts a cigarette into his mouth, a newspaper into his hands and leaves.
Some teenagers are coming by and spot a man sitting on the bench. They ask for a cigarette, but the body doesn't respond, of course. So they start beating him, until suddenly chicken out. 'Oh fuck, we have killed him. What to do now?'
They drag him to the river flowing through the park and throw him into it.
Down the river, out of the city, a fisherman is sitting in a boat, fishing with dynamite. BLAH!... the body emerges. The fisherman almost pisses himself, 'oh shit, I have killed a man... what to do now?'
He carries the body to the bushes, spots a concrete wall and throws the body across it.
On the other side of the wall is the U.S. military zone. The guard spots somebody jumping across the wall and puts a dozen of bullets into him.
An officer passes by and finds the body. He orders the men to bring the body to the military hospital.
At the military hospital.
One hour passes, another, yet another. After six hours the surgeon comes out of the operation theatre, wipes sweat off his brow and says: "The operation was difficult, but he'll live."