Work Text:
Fibbie
by Shannon Kizzia and Satina
2/28/05
fibbieagentAK: Hi. Sorry to bother you if I have the wrong person, but would you happen to be Fox Mulder?
monsterboy1013: Why?
fibbieagentAK: Um, I'm looking for him. I'm his partner. With the FBI. If you're not him, this isn't some kind of weird bust or anything.
monsterboy1013: So what is it, then?
fibbieagentAK: I'm sorry. I have the wrong name again. Have a nice night.
monsterboy1013: What do you need, Alex?
fibbieagentAK: Mulder? Well, I didn't know you'd left. Did you say you were leaving or something? I brought those files up from storage and you were gone. I was worried something had happened. *Did* something happen?
monsterboy1013: No, just decided to cut out early.
fibbieagentAK: But...didn't you want those files?
monsterboy1013: Yeah, I'll take a look at them tomorrow.
fibbieagentAK: So you're all right? You're not hurt or anything? I really think we should have come up with a password by now so that I would know if you're ever in a situation where you can't *tell* me you're hurt. Or something. So you're not hurt...are you?
monsterboy1013: No, I'm not hurt.
fibbieagentAK: So...you just wanted to leave. So you left.
monsterboy1013: Yep.
fibbieagentAK: I had to work pretty hard to find you. I called, but apparently you have dial-up, because it went to voicemail. So I got on here and realized you never gave me your screen name, even though I gave you mine after our first case. I wrote it down for you. Remember?
monsterboy1013: Yeah.
fibbieagentAK: Well, I just went with your birthday, because I figured that's pretty common. Not that you're common. Just that, you probably have better ways to spend your time than to think up strange screen names. Right?
fibbieagentAK: Well, anyway, I searched that and from there did a cross reference with anything paranormal I could find. You probably wouldn't believe how many 1013's with a paranormal bent there are in cyber space. Or maybe you would.
fibbieagentAK: But yeah, I talked to some people who *weren't*, in fact, you and weren't really that happy to hear from me, and all that to find you and make sure you're not hurt or something, so... I'm glad to hear you're all right. Maybe next time...would you tell me if you're going to leave like that? Not that it's a big deal. Just, you know...
monsterboy1013: Sure.
fibbieagentAK: Well. Okay. Great! Thanks. :-)
fibbieagentAK: Oh yeah, and Mulder? I went ahead and brought those files home with me. Just to save an extra trip back down to storage with them. My arms were tired. I had no idea there was so much information on irregular reptile feces.
fibbieagentAK: Is that...pertinent to a new case we're working? :-)
monsterboy1013: Could be.
fibbieagentAK: Oh, great! Well, it's good to know I didn't strain my back for nothing. ;-) Although, some of these don't really look like they have anything to do with reptile...manure. In fact, most of them don't seem to correlate. I guess there's a link I don't yet see, right? I'll work on that! Anyway, those file numbers you had me find really gave me a bit of a workout walking from one end of storage to the other. Better than a trip to the gym, huh, Agent Mulder? :-)
fibbieagentAK: Agent Mulder?
fibbieagentAK: Hello?
monsterboy1013 signed off at 11:22:09 PM.
monsterboy1013 signed on at 11:37:31 PM.
fibbieagentAK: Oh! You're back! Get kicked off? I hate that! :-)
fibbieagentAK: So anyway, I brought the files home. You know, I think in these harsh D.C. winters that a trunk full of casefiles and paperwork would work better than a big bag of kitty litter to keep you from skidding on ice. If you don't have four wheel drive, of course. Which I don't.
fibbieagentAK: So.
fibbieagentAK: Um, I have them. All of them. Do you want me to scan any of the documents so you can have them tonight? I've got a scanner, just not a fax. Never thought I'd need one.
monsterboy1013: No.
fibbieagentAK: No, you don't want me to scan them? Or no...you don't need a fax either?
monsterboy1013: I don't need them scanned.
fibbieagentAK: So I'll just bring them back into work tomorrow then. :-)
fibbieagentAK: Gotcha.
fibbieagentAK: Well, since I have them, I'll be sure and know the material so you don't have to take the time to explain it to me. I'll know it all ahead of time! How about that? :-)
monsterboy1013: Great.
fibbieagentAK: So did I like...catch you at a bad time or something? You seem distracted. Or are you just one of those guys who says a lot in person but clams up over IM? Not that you're clammy. Not at all! I just...don't want to be bothering you if you've got...stuff.
fibbieagentAK: I'll take that to mean you're okay with me talking to you. That's great 'cause Thursday night's a slow one for me. I don't watch Friends or anything. Do you? Of course not or you would be right now, right? Unless it's already Frasier. It is, isn't it? At least it's not ER yet. I kind of like that one. :-)
fibbieagentAK: If you're watching Frasier, you can just feel free to only talk to me during the commercials. It's cool. No problem. :-)
fibbieagentAK: It's a commercial now. Are you there?
fibbieagentAK: This *is* a good commercial, though. I really like the portrayal of the wife in this one. Her allergies seem really bad.
fibbieagentAK: I believe her. Don't you?
fibbieagentAK: Except the husband. No way!
monsterboy1013: What?
fibbieagentAK: Oh, the husband. He's not as believable. When he sneezes it's just like... Not an Academy Award or anything. Well, it's over now, so no big deal. You'll catch it next time. :-)
fibbieagentAK: But this is boring, huh? Sorry. You don't want to HEAR about the commercials when you come over to talk DURING the commercials. Duh, Alex!
fibbieagentAK: What I like about ER is the characters. Do you have a favorite character, Mulder?
fibbieagentAK: I think mine is Carter. I really like him. :-) Do you?
monsterboy1013: Carter?
fibbieagentAK: You...don't like him? Well, that's fine. Yeah, he's not that great. He's goofy. Bluh! Who do *you* like? It's probably...Benton? Is it Benton? :-)
monsterboy1013: Abby.
fibbieagentAK: Yeah? :-) So you *do* watch it? Yeah, Abby's great. Very real. She's flawed, but not too flawed, you know?
monsterboy1013: She's messed up.
fibbieagentAK: Oh yeah totally. Way. That's what I meant by...not too...anyway, um...I like her, too. :-)
monsterboy1013: You're missing it.
fibbieagentAK: The point? So is it that you think messed up is a good quality? Because if it is, I'm fine with that. Or was it more that you felt you liked her *despite* the fact that she's messed up? I'll try to understand this time. :-)
monsterboy1013: No, you're missing the show.
fibbieagentAK: Oh! Uh, well... It's all right. It's just a new one. It'll replay in the summer. :-)
fibbieagentAK: Mulder?
fibbieagentAK: You there?
fibbieagentAK: Um, hi?
fibbieagentAK: :-)
monsterboy1013: Took a piss.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Well...welcome back then!
fibbieagentAK: You know instead of scanning the files I could bring them over? Like...over there? To you? Tonight?
monsterboy1013: That's okay.
fibbieagentAK: To come over? Or is that like, "That's okay," like people say when they really don't want the person doing what they just said they'd do? I'm fine either way.
monsterboy1013: Yeah, like that.
fibbieagentAK: Okay then. Staying here. :-) I think there's a big storm watch anyway. Wouldn't want to wreck on the way there. Except I'd have the files in the trunk! LOL! You know. :-) To twart skidding. Ha. ;-)
monsterboy1013: twart?
fibbieagentAK: Oh uh, that was supposed to be thwart.
fibbieagentAK: Sorry.
fibbieagentAK: So. Do you like Fridays?
monsterboy1013: What?
fibbieagentAK: Fridays. :-) You know, are you one of those people that likes Fridays best because it's almost the weekend. I guess you're probably not, huh? You really *like* your work. Unlike most people. So I guess I answered that one for you. Nevermind. :-)
fibbieagentAK: So what about Mondays? You must LOVE Mondays! :-)
monsterboy1013: Yeah.
fibbieagentAK: I knew it! See? I might be a good partner yet. :-)
monsterboy1013: You're alright.
fibbieagentAK: Yeah?
fibbieagentAK: Thanks!!!!
fibbieagentAK: You know, I was thinking. That reptile feces doesn't have to have been exposed to radioactive materials to be that color. It could be...diet. Or climate changes. Or societal encroachment...
fibbieagentAK: Stress?
monsterboy1013: Could be.
fibbieagentAK: Not that I'm not open to extreme possibilities on this one! It's got X-Files written allllllllllll over it!
monsterboy1013: Oh yeah? How?
fibbieagentAK: Um, well, you see, often UFO abduction returnees have experienced some kind of radiation burning or evidence of exposure to radioactive material. Perhaps extraterrestrial biological entities are...taking reptiles! To study them like they do us! Maybe it's even a reptile SPECIES of alien and they're looking for similarities! Family! Maybe THEY seeded this PLANET!
monsterboy1013: Interesting theory.
fibbieagentAK: You really think so?
monsterboy1013: It makes sense.
fibbieagentAK: It...does? Thank you, Agent Mulder! God, that really means a lot to me.
fibbieagentAK: 'Cause I spent a lot of time going over these files while I waited for you and I kept bashing my head against the dissimilarities between the cases. But then I thought I might have found a link between the reptile files, the abduction files, the radioactive spill files, the Montana files (that was a hard one!) and the Biblical references files 122 - 357. And that's what I came up with. What was identical in all of them. Radiation.
fibbieagentAK: Huh? Radiation? :-)
monsterboy1013: Huh.
monsterboy1013: Even the biblical references?
fibbieagentAK: Well, yeah, that's a stretch, but I linked it to the file on Biblical artwork. There are UFO's!!! flying around in Biblical artwork! And what about the lepers that Jesus helped? RADIATION!
monsterboy1013: I doubt that. Leprosy is a disease. But there is other evidence of possible atomic explosions in some ancient sites.
fibbieagentAK: Really? Great!!
fibbieagentAK: So...I did good? I did what you wanted?
monsterboy1013: It's a very interesting connection, Alex.
fibbieagentAK: Thanks. :-) I'm so glad you see it. I didn't think I could go through one more file to finally get it. I mean, I would have! Totally. But I'm glad you think there might be, maybe, possibly a little something to my theory.
monsterboy1013: The most recent speculation suggests Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed in a nuclear explosion.
fibbieagentAK: Wow! Really?! That's just so...cool! Who had the nukes? Was it alien attack? Atlantian technology?
monsterboy1013: That's unknown at this time.
fibbieagentAK: I don't guess the FBI would foot the bill for *that* kind of extensive field work...would it? ;-)
monsterboy1013: No. :-)
fibbieagentAK: Have you ever...just...gone? On a trip that big? Just take the company VISA and go? 'Cause wow. What a case to break wide open! :-)
monsterboy1013: I don't think that's warranted, here.
monsterboy1013: But it's worth looking into more deeply.
fibbieagentAK: And the reptiles. I'd like to look into the reptiles.
fibbieagentAK: Or not! You're call!
fibbieagentAK: your!
monsterboy1013: It's worth looking at.
fibbieagentAK: Yeah? So tomorrow did you wanna? Or we could go over it over lunch or something...if you don't wanna handle it on Bureau hours.
monsterboy1013: Tomorrow's good.
fibbieagentAK: All right. :-)
monsterboy1013: Are you sure this link is present in every case?
monsterboy1013 signed off at 12:51:46 AM.
monsterboy1013 signed on at 12:52:32 AM.
monsterboy1013: Sorry. Browser crashed.
fibbieagentAK: It's okay!!!
fibbieagentAK: So I was gonna tell you before you got kicked off. I'm pretty sure, yeah. I had a lot of time to go over the files...when you didn't show up. Hey! Did you know Harry, the night janitor, plays the flute and dreams of becoming a professional flutist? :-)
monsterboy1013: No, I did not know that.
fibbieagentAK: Well he...does.
monsterboy1013: Sorry I didn't let you know I was leaving. I will, next time.
monsterboy1013: Scully used to get really pissed at me for that.
fibbieagentAK: Oh yeah? Well, I'm not. :-) It's okay. I mean, as long as you tell me next time. ;-)
fibbieagentAK: So are you having a good night?
monsterboy1013: It's all right.
monsterboy1013: You?
fibbieagentAK: Great!!! I mean, I missed ER, but that's okay. Hey, I might have figured out the link between multiple cases, so... :-)
monsterboy1013: Yeah, what's better than that?
fibbieagentAK: Exactly. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know a good remedy for back strain would you? It's getting kind of hard to sit in this chair.
monsterboy1013: Massage? Hot bath?
fibbieagentAK: Okay. Good tip. Maybe later. When we're done.
fibbieagentAK: The hot bath I mean! I mean, I don't have a masseur just hanging around. LOL!
monsterboy1013: What about a girlfriend? They're usually good for that.
fibbieagentAK: Uh...I don't exactly have one. I mean. I don't have one. It's just me. :-) But I might have one of those...thingies! Like with the prongs and the balls?
fibbieagentAK: Not instead of a girlfriend!
monsterboy1013: LOL!
fibbieagentAK: Instead of a massage therapist or whatever. Yeah...
monsterboy1013: You should use it on yourself.
fibbieagentAK: The...prongs?
monsterboy1013: The prongs.
fibbieagentAK: It was a gift.
fibbieagentAK: Christmas.
fibbieagentAK: From an aunt.
fibbieagentAK: Do you have one?
monsterboy1013: No.
fibbieagentAK: Wait. A prong thingie? Or an aunt? Or a girlfriend...
monsterboy1013: LOL...none of the above.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Well. Are you sure you don't have any aunts? Oh wait, are they dead? I'm sorry!
monsterboy1013: I don't know. I might have one.
fibbieagentAK: I have a big family, so there are always lots of weird aunts running around trying to get people you don't know to eat things.
fibbieagentAK: I guess they're cousins. The people I don't know. It's hard to tell when everyone's drunk and looks alike. ;-)
monsterboy1013: They all look alike?
fibbieagentAK: Yeah. Every one of them. We all have dark hair and green eyes.
monsterboy1013: And you all get drunk?
fibbieagentAK: Yeah, it's tradition. Vodka before dinner, vodka during dinner, vodka after dinner at the piano and on the porch...
fibbieagentAK: Except Vinne. He's my Aunt Danya's husband. He drinks beer.
fibbieagentAK: vinnie
fibbieagentAK: Sorry.
monsterboy1013: Krycek...is that Czek?
fibbieagentAK: Russian. :-) My parents were Cold War immigrants. They brought everybody over. I was two.
monsterboy1013: Born a Russkie, huh?
fibbieagentAK: Yep. I don't remember anything, though. So...are you half-Jewish? Is that right?
monsterboy1013: How'd you know?
fibbieagentAK: I guess I never told you. I was a, uh, fan in the Academy. I asked around about you. And I did see your file while I was waiting in Blevins' office for him to show after lunch. It was open on his desk. Sorry. I couldn't help it.
monsterboy1013: I see.
fibbieagentAK: You're mad. I'm sorry. I just...wanted to know you. I wanted to know more than the others, because they didn't seem to know anything real.
monsterboy1013: Oh? What *did* they know?
fibbieagentAK: They're the ones that called you Spooky and said you were half alien and all the other stuff that's bullshit. (Excuse me.) I knew there was so much more to you. And that they were all just jealous.
monsterboy1013: Half alien, huh?
fibbieagentAK: They're mostly assholes. I think they're all in it for the esteem or the steady paycheck, not the work. Not like you.
fibbieagentAK: I had a couple vodka shots. Instead of the prongs.
monsterboy1013: Do you drink often?
fibbieagentAK: Nope. Just with family.
monsterboy1013: They there?
fibbieagentAK: LOL! No! It's just my back. I don't think I can sit up straight anymore, so instead of trying to find that prong and ball deal, I decided to just...medicate a little. Is that...frowned upon? Talking to my senior agent while...tipsy?
monsterboy1013: What you do on your own time is your business, I suppose.
fibbieagentAK: So you look down upon it? You do! I'll stop! I'm sorry, Mulder. I won't ever do it again.
monsterboy1013: Calm down, Alex.
monsterboy1013: I don't drink, as a rule.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Okay. I don't often or I wouldn't be feeling it now.
monsterboy1013: You're over 21...right?
fibbieagentAK: Of course! You thought I might NOT be? :-)
monsterboy1013: No, I've seen your file.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Yeah. Of course. Sorry.
monsterboy1013: You know, you could just take a Tylenol.
monsterboy1013: Do you sit at a desk?
fibbieagentAK: Yes. Do you?
monsterboy1013: Yeah.
fibbieagentAK: Cool.
fibbieagentAK: Those bullpen desks sure are small.
fibbieagentAK: How do you fit your legs under there? I'm all out in the aisle!
monsterboy1013: Yeah, me too. You have to learn to slant.
fibbieagentAK: Slant. Hmmm...
fibbieagentAK: Like...slump and pivot?
monsterboy1013: Yeah, pretty much.
fibbieagentAK: I see.
fibbieagentAK: So what do *you* do when you hurt? Massage? Hot bath? You said you don't have a girlfriend. Right?
monsterboy1013: Right.
fibbieagentAK: So..? Which one? Or both? Or prongs.
monsterboy1013: LOL...told you, I don't have prongs.
monsterboy1013: I take Tylenol, or yeah, get a massage at the gym, if it's bad. Like when I get hit by a car or fall down the stairs or something.
fibbieagentAK: Does that happen...a lot?
monsterboy1013: Yes.
fibbieagentAK: Wow.
monsterboy1013: They don't tell ya that at Quantico.
monsterboy1013: The Hoover gym has a jacuzzi, too.
fibbieagentAK: Really?
fibbieagentAK: Do you ever soak after work?
monsterboy1013: Only after the really hard cases. You know. Cars. Stairs.
fibbieagentAK: So it's not okay to use it just whenever? Just...to unwind?
monsterboy1013: Sure, if it's free.
fibbieagentAK: How many does it sit?
monsterboy1013: Eight, I think. Men, anyway.
fibbieagentAK: But you like to go in alone, huh? I mean, who wouldn't?
monsterboy1013: I'm usually there much later than most people, so it's relatively quiet.
fibbieagentAK: Well, I'd like to try it sometime. Maybe you could let me know when the down times are? So there will be less chance of meeting up with anyone I wouldn't want to share a jacuzzi with?
monsterboy1013: Wednesday nights are pretty slow. After the building empties out at six.
fibbieagentAK: Oh yeah? Sounds like just the thing for this back thing. How late do you think I'd have to stay to get in there tomorrow night? It'll be a Friday. Any chance it'll clear out enough by the time we're done?
monsterboy1013: Yeah, actually. Most people take off early on Fridays. Nobody wants to stay around the building.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Good point. So maybe I'll ditch *you* tomorrow. ;-)
monsterboy1013: Heh...suppose I've got that coming.
fibbieagentAK: No, I'm sorry. You didn't. You apologized. I appreciate that. I wouldn't ditch you. I'd wait up.
monsterboy1013: Being the junior agent, you'd better.
monsterboy1013: ;-)
fibbieagentAK: O:-)
fibbieagentAK: So...you wouldn't mind sharing it? If it was just me?
monsterboy1013: I wasn't aware that's what we were talking about.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Did I misunderstand? I just thought...with the...up there... Well, it's okay. It's nothing. Sorry for the mix-up! My fault. I should have known. I mean, of *course* you're not going to want to share it. Pfff!
monsterboy1013: I really don't care.
fibbieagentAK: You...don't?
monsterboy1013: No.
fibbieagentAK: Heh, I guess since it seats eight! I mean...more leg room than our desks, you know? :-) With just the two of us.
monsterboy1013: Yeah, there's plenty of room. Our feet wouldn't even touch if we sat across from each other.
fibbieagentAK: Oh. Great.
monsterboy1013: I just didn't have any plans to use it. Like I told you, I really only do it occasionally, when I'm really in pain.
fibbieagentAK: Well, since I'm in pain, it'd be great if you could at least show me where it is tomorrow. You don't have to actually get in or anything, if you've got big plans or whatever.
monsterboy1013: No plans. Sure. I'll probably be taking a swim, anyway.
fibbieagentAK: Yeah?
monsterboy1013: Fridays are great for the pool, too. I try to get in a swim a few times a week.
fibbieagentAK: Yeah, you look like you do.
fibbieagentAK: I mean, you were a swimmer.
fibbieagentAK: Are a swimmer.
fibbieagentAK: You can just tell. Like you can tell gas station attendants because of the orange vest.
monsterboy1013: Okay.
monsterboy1013: Just two shots?
fibbieagentAK: Uh, yeah.
fibbieagentAK: One more and it'd be time to break out my aunt's prong! :-)
fibbieagentAK: That didn't exactly come out right.
fibbieagentAK: Besides, I'm not having any more. Like I said.
monsterboy1013: Okay.
fibbieagentAK: So, what else do you do to workout?
monsterboy1013: Run, mostly.
fibbieagentAK: Oh yeah? Like...on a track?
monsterboy1013: Or just the street.
fibbieagentAK: Do you jog or full-out run?
fibbieagentAK: I mean, not like you're trying to get away from a perp or anything. Just...do you kind of mosey or do you...jet? I guess you jet or it wouldn't be working out. You don't go to Starbucks for a pick me up and then get decaf, right?
monsterboy1013: Uh, yeah.
monsterboy1013: Interval training. Jogging with short periods of focused, intense running to get my heartrate up every little bit.
fibbieagentAK: Ah. Nice.
fibbieagentAK: I mean, it works.
fibbieagentAK: Or rather, good idea!
monsterboy1013: What do you do?
fibbieagentAK: What do *I* do?
monsterboy1013: To work out.
fibbieagentAK: As little as possible?
monsterboy1013: LOL...you look fit, so you must do something.
fibbieagentAK: Well, every once in a while I lift a few weights. It's not really a program. More...groceries.
fibbieagentAK: I do push ups. Which isn't cool anymore, is it? I should say I do yogilates or something. Maybe take ballet.
fibbieagentAK: I used to kick box in college. And I played volley ball. But that was for fun. I don't really like many types of working out mostly.
fibbieagentAK: Sorry.
monsterboy1013: LOL...no problem, Alex.
monsterboy1013: As long as you can run after the bad guys and duck a punch, you'll be all right.
fibbieagentAK: Thanks. :-)
monsterboy1013: Push ups, huh? Why those?
fibbieagentAK: I don't know. I guess because it takes minimal space, no equipment, and...I like them. I guess they're easier for me than some things.
monsterboy1013: Yeah, I noticed you've got pretty strong arms.
fibbieagentAK: You did? Thanks.
fibbieagentAK: Thanks, Mulder.
monsterboy1013: Sure.
monsterboy1013: I'm so skinny I'd have to lift weights three hours a day to get my arms that big.
fibbieagentAK: You're not skinny. You're...lean.
monsterboy1013: Whatever. I can't do the big, strong guy-arm thing.
fibbieagentAK: That's okay. You don't have to when you're brilliant.
monsterboy1013: Still gotta keep from getting my ass kicked.
monsterboy1013: Which doesn't seem to be my talent.
fibbieagentAK: Well...I'll back you up.
monsterboy1013: Thanks.
monsterboy1013: I'm not totally useless, either, ya know.
monsterboy1013: ;-)
fibbieagentAK: I know. I feel lucky having you watch *my* back.
monsterboy1013: I don't think people are lining up to be in your place.
fibbieagentAK: No. They're not. Their loss.
fibbieagentAK: So, it's late. Huh?
monsterboy1013: Sure is.
fibbieagentAK: I didn't realize. Are you gonna get enough sleep tonight?
monsterboy1013: I'll be fine, Alex. How about you?
fibbieagentAK: Yeah. I'm great. :-)
monsterboy1013: Guess that's why God invented Starbucks, huh?
fibbieagentAK: :-D
fibbieagentAK: See you in the morning, then?
monsterboy1013: Yep.
fibbieagentAK: Reptile feces and all.
monsterboy1013: :-)
fibbieagentAK: Good night, Mulder.
fibbieagentAK: And...thanks.
monsterboy1013: For what?
fibbieagentAK: Hanging out with your dorky junior partner for the night. It means...a lot to me.
monsterboy1013: It was fun.
fibbieagentAK: :-)
monsterboy1013: I look forward to exploring your feces theories tomorrow, Alex. ;-)
fibbieagentAK: LOL! Okay!
fibbieagentAK: Sleep tight, Mulder.
monsterboy1013: Good night, Alex.
fibbieagentAK: Good night, Mulder. :-)
The end...or not? ;-)
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