SquidgeWorld Archive

Title: Valentine's Do's and Don'ts
Author: Angel Negra
Rating: FRT-13
Summary: Set after 'Meat Puzzle'. Gibbs asks Tony for some help.
Pairings: Tony/McGee, Gibbs/Ducky, Abby/Palmer
Archiving: My site, WWoMB, anyone else - ask.
Disclaimer: I just play with them, I don't own them.
Author's Notes: This is set in the same universe as 'Kissing It Better'. And for story purposes, the 'Meat Puzzle' case happened on Feb. 12. Thanks to Emmy for the beta.

Tony cracked an eye open and glared at his cell. He'd been in the middle of a great dream. In that dream he and Tim were married, living in a quiet suburb, white picket fence and all. Sure the pearl necklace and dress Tony had been wearing in the dream was a little weird, but still. Married to Tim.

Despite his glaring, Tony's cell kept ringing. Shrilly. Enough so that Tim started to stir restlessly in his sleep. Sighing under his breath, Tony reached over Tim and picked the phone up. He flipped it open and glanced at the display. Gibbs. Of course, who else but Gibbs would call at four am, Valentine's Day morning?

Tony slipped out of bed as quietly as he could, hitting the accept button on his phone as he went.

"Yeah Boss?" said Tony softly, padding out into his living room.

"DiNozzo. Get your ass down to my place. Now." Gibbs sounded both tired and strung out. Probably up working on the boat all night, freaking out about Ducky.

"Sure thing, Boss. Be over in twenty." Tony smiled in sympathy as he hung up. He'd have been just as bad if that had been Tim. Hell, probably worse.

Shaking his head, Tony headed back into the bedroom to get dressed.

**

'Hey Sexy,

'I know you wanted me out of the apartment so you could set up your surprise. Boss needs my help, so I'll hang with him for the day. Call me about an hour before you're done.

'Love, Tony'

**

Tony carefully placed the note in Tim's hand, kissed him on the head and snuck out of the bedroom. Grabbing his keys, Tony headed out.

**

Tony opened Gibbs' front door. "Boss?"

There was a noise that could have been Gibbs coming from the basement. Tony rolled his eyes. Of course.

As Tony trotted down the basement steps, he glanced towards the basement's main feature. Some more planks had made it onto the boat, and a large amount of sawdust had settled, well, everywhere.

Gibbs was sitting on his workbench, glaring at the mostly full bottle of bourbon in his hands. He had dark circles under his eyes, his clothes were dirty and wrinkled and his hair was sticking up in odd places. Great.

Tony suppressed a sigh and pasted a large grin on his face. "You look like shit, Boss."

Gibbs transfered his glare from the bourbon to Tony. "Took you long enough, DiNozzo."

Tony rolled his eyes and plopped down beside Gibbs, wrinkling his nose at the odor. "Not all of us have your driving talents, Boss. Oh, and Boss? I know you're not so hot on all this newfangled technology, but they have this really cool invention now. It's really easy to use. In America, we call it a shower." Tony deliberately drew out the word 'shower'. He grinned when Gibbs slapped him upside the head for it.

"Wise ass." Gibbs grumbled, standing up and putting the bourbon back on the shelf.

To just about anyone else, it would have looked like that was all Gibbs had done. But Tony could tell that Gibbs used the opportunity to subtlety sniff himself.

Gibbs looked over at Tony. "Go make the coffee. And make sure it's actual coffee, not that brown water you like so much."

Tony grinned and stood up. He waited until he was halfway up the stairs and, more importantly, out of Gibbs' reach, when he said, "Sure thing Boss. Coffee'll be ready by the time you're done your shower."

And, knowing how fast Gibbs could move, Tony ran the rest of the way to the kitchen.

**

As Gibbs walked into the dining room, Tony placed a cup of coffee at Gibbs' usual seat. He sat down at his usual seat, cradling his own cup. As Gibbs passed behind Tony, Gibbs smacked him upside the head.

"Boss!"

Gibbs smirked as he sat down. "Next time, DiNozzo, stay there and take it like a man, instead of running."

Tony sighed and shook his head. He grinned at Gibbs. "Can't blame a guy for trying."

Gibbs snorted and sipped his coffee. "Only if they don't know any better."

Tony laughed, but sobered quickly when he saw the way Gibbs was staring into the coffee mug. "Ducky's going to be fine, Boss."

Gibbs nodded slowly, not looking up. "I know that," he said softly.

Tony nodded, sipped his coffee and waited.

Gibbs clenched his coffee mug tightly. "I can't stop seeing his blood flowing into the damned drain. He said that Hanlan told him it'd only take four minutes to drain it all. Four minutes, Tony." Gibbs looked up, his eyes wide with pain and fear. "If I'd waited any longer, or if the husband had put up a fight..."

"I know," said Tony, patting Gibbs' arm.

"Should have moved when you'd wanted to. Hell, should have kept you with Kate on guard duty, or sent McGee. Should have-" Gibbs broke off and rubbed his face tiredly. He looked back at Tony. "How do you do it?"

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Do what, Boss?"

"How the hell do you watch McGee go out in the field every day?"

Ah. None of Gibbs' ex-wives were LEOs, the closest any of them came was Number One marrying Gibbs' first divorce lawyer. And Ducky was only allowed near the scene once it was secure.

Tony tried to smile, but it felt tight. "I remind myself that you only let the best on your team. I keep copies of his shooting range scores on the fridge. And when we pull guns, I do my best to always enter first."

Gibbs nodded, as if that explained a few things to him. He took a large gulp of coffee, setting the mug down and tapped his fingers along the side of it.

Tony looked at Gibbs closely. "You didn't call me at four am just 'cause you're feeling bad about the case."

Gibbs sighed, but kept his eyes on his coffee mug. "I want him back, Tony."

Tony blinked. Oh. "You want-"

"I want Ducky back. Ever since Kate called in, all I could think was that I'd lost him. I'd lost the man I loved. And he'd never know how I really felt, because I've been to much of a coward to admit that a man, that *he*, was my happily ever after." Gibbs looked up at Tony, raw pain in his eyes. "I need him."

Tony realized his mouth was hanging open from the surprise. He shut it. He sighed and rubbed his face. And to think, he thought he was going to be bored waiting for Tim to set up his Valentine's Day surprise. Tony sighed again and looked at Gibbs. "Are you serious, Boss?"

Gibbs bristled so fast, Tony half expected Gibbs' hair to stand on end too. "DiNozzo, Just what do-"

"I mean it, Boss," Tony said, straightening his spine. "We just had the case from hell, and we almost lost Ducky. And," Tony raised a finger, "it's Valentine's Day, and you're single. Do you really want Ducky back? Or are you just freaking out?"

Gibbs deflated a little and rubbed his eyes tiredly, sighing.

Tony rubbed Gibbs' shoulder gently. "Sleep on it." Gibbs glared at him, mouth opening to protest. "I mean it, Boss. Go lie down for a few hours. I gotta make some calls anyways. Take a nap, and when you get up, we can work on this."

Gibbs nodded. "Fine. But, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Touch the boat and die."

Tony smirked. "Don't worry, Boss. I remember the rules."

**

Gibbs looked at Tony in confusing, trailing him away from the super market's flower display. "Why can you buy McGee flowers, but I can't buy any for Ducky?"

Tony sighed and willed himself to be patient. "Because you want this to be permanent, Boss."

Gibbs glared at him. "Yeah..."

Tony paused for a second to orientate himself, then led the way towards the pharmaceuticals section. "So, the only reason an ex will show up with flowers on Valentine's Day is when they can't get a date, and they want a quickie for old times' sake. It's the whole overblown love thing." He glanced back, and saw Gibbs still looked a little confused.

"Look, new couples can do all those cliche Valentine's things. Roses, chocolate, dinner out. It all fits with that fluffy new relationship feeling. Couples who've been together for a while put their own spin on it. Like me and Tim. I've got Abby hiding this computer game Tim really, really wants. And I got a bunch of his mysteries all printed up with a fancy cover so he can show them properly to an agent." Tony paused, scanning the aisles. Ah, there. "And he's going to surprise me by cooking this big romantic meal and doing something with a bunch of candles and bottles. Probably a bath or massage, I looked away before I saw labels." Tony shrugged, he'd found out by accident, but he still felt a little guilty.

He glanced at Gibbs, who was staring at him in shock. "What?"

"McGee can cook?"

Tony snorted, stopping and scanning the bottles. "Tim can set ice on fire."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at him. Watching Tony drop a bottle of Pepto Bismol into his shopping basket, Gibbs said, "So why the hell are you letting him cook?"

Tony smiled softly. "You know, he's the only person, man or woman, who's put up with me for more than three months? Hell, even my parents-" Tony cut that thought off there. He looked over at Gibbs. "He loves me. He's the only person who's ever wanted to cook for me. And because of that, I'm eating it."

Gibbs snorted. "Even if it kills you?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Come on, Boss. It won't be that bad." But Tony did grab a second bottle of Pepto Bismol, just in case.

Leading the way, Tony headed towards the pet aisle, Gibbs trailing behind. "I can't buy flowers, I can't buy chocolate, what the hell can I do, DiNozzo?"

"Be his friend."

"What?"

Tony looked back at Gibbs. "Look, Boss. Any romantic attempts are just going to seem either desperate or post traumatic. Ducky's vulnerable right now. Be his friend. Hell, be his best friend. Take care of him, and just be there."

Gibbs stiffened. "Dammit, Tony-"

Tony spun on the spot. "Boss, I mean it. If you want this to last, you have to take it slow."

Gibbs sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Can't I just say-"

Tony smirked, folding his arms. "Come on, Boss. You, of all people, should know actions speak louder."

Gibbs stared at him for a minute, then the corner of Gibbs' mouth quirked up. "So, how do I start this friend thing?"

Tony grinned, clasped Gibbs on the shoulder and pulled him towards the dog treats. "By taking on one of the worst tasks known to man." He paused for effect. "Mrs. Mallard and her four demon dogs."

Gibbs laughed.

**

Tony pulled to a stop in front of the Mallard home. He glanced over at Gibbs, who was picking nervously at the handles of the plastic bag. Gibbs looked over at him. "You sure about this, DiNozzo?"

Tony patted Gibbs on the shoulder. "Trust me, Boss. Ducky's still feeling a little under the weather. He could use the help. Mrs. Mallard has almost as much energy as Abby."

Gibbs smiled a little at that. "Yeah, I remember."

Tony made a shooing motion with his hands. "Go, have fun, watch out for Tyson's teeth."

Gibbs opened the car door and paused, looking back at Tony. "DiNozzo- Tony, you do good work. On and off duty. Everyone who works for me is the best, including you. But, you're the only agent I've ever met who has the balls to stand up to me. I trust you. Hell, I sure wouldn't have talked about Ducky with any of the others."

Tony smiled, a warm feeling spreading through him. "Careful, Boss. You get any mushier and I'll start thinking you're going soft in your old age."

Gibbs snorted, smacked Tony upside the head, and got out of the car.

**

Tony's cell rang around four thirty. He glanced at the display and grinned. Finally. He hit the accept button. "Hey, sexy."

Tony could hear Tim's answering smile in his voice. "Hey. Busy?"

Tony shook his head. "Nah. Dropped Gibbs off about half an hour ago. You ready for me?"

"In about one hour, I should be ready." There was a loud crash from Tim's end of the line. "I-I gotta go!"

Tony chuckled. "Okay, love you."

"Love you, too. Bye."

Tony hung up the phone and looked up at the sky. Please, oh please, don't let Tim burn the place down.

**

Tony stepped off the elevator on Abby's floor, turned right and almost ran over someone. He looked up, "Sorry, man. I- Jimmy! Hey, man! So, I guess this means you're Abby's hot date, hunh?"

Jimmy Palmer, who looked extremely uncomfortable in his suit, nodded. He was tightly clutching a bouquet of red roses. Jimmy tugged at his collar. "Um, y-yeah. I was, I was just-"

"Trying to get the nerve to knock?" Tony finished gently.

Jimmy nodded, looking very nervous and a little green around the edges. Tony took a step the side, just in case.

Patting Jimmy on the shoulder sympathetically, Tony said, "You know, if you've made it up here, she already knows you're in the building, man."

Jimmy smiled weakly.

Shaking his head, Tony stepped around Jimmy and knocked on Abby's door. At Abby's muffled 'Come in!', Tony opened the door and walked in, dragging Jimmy in behind him.

"Hey Abs! Can I get that game you're hiding for me?"

"Tony!" Abby skipped out into view, wearing what looked like a black wedding dress. She grinned happily and was about to run over and hug him when she spotted Jimmy hiding behind him. She looked at Tony, raising an amused eyebrow.

Tony grinned and jerked his thumb at Jimmy. "Hey, Ma. He followed me home. Can I keep him?"

Abby mocked glared at Tony and moved to pull Jimmy to her chest possessively. "No way. You've already got a geek of your own, go play with him."

"Gimme the toy I bought for him and I will."

Abby laughed and half danced over to a large black chest of drawers. Pulling out the requested item, already wrapped, she handed it over. "Have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Tony pretended to think seriously for a second. "Abs, *is* there anything you wouldn't do?"

Abby laughed and pushed him out the door. "Say goodbye, Tony."

"Goodbye, Tony," he said dutifully. Tony glanced back at Jimmy, who still looked a little nervous. "Relax man, she'll only bite if you ask her to!"

Abby stuck her tongue out at Tony, then shut the door in his face.

**

Tony opened the apartment door a crack and peeked it. "Safe to come in?" he called.

"Yeah!" came Tim's voice from the kitchen.

Tony slipped inside, closing the door and taking his coat off. He pulled out Tim's second present from it's hiding place behind the vacuum, and grabbing the one he'd hid at Abby's, Tony made his way into the apartment.

"Smells like you've been busy," said Tony, glancing back to make sure he'd brought the bag with the Pepto Bismol in.

Tim came rushing out of the kitchen, placing two full plates on the dining room table. "Yeah. I-I hope it's okay. I mean, I've never really been that good a-at cooking, but I followed everything to the letter," Tim turned to face Tony, "and... What?"

Tony knew he was staring. Tim's hair was mussed, his face flushed and sweaty, his shirt was half untucked and there was a streak of some sort of sauce on his left cheek. Tony thought he'd never looked sexier.

Tony stalked forward, grabbed the front of Tim's shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Which Tim returned eagerly, sliding his hands into Tony's hair and holding on. When they broke apart, Tony smiled warmly. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Tim's smile lit up his whole face. "Happy Valentine's Day, Tony."

Tony kissed him on the nose. "Ready to eat?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I just need to grab the drinks."

As Tim headed back into the kitchen, Tony sat down at the table and got his first good look at the food. It looked like it might be some sort of chicken dish, though it was a little too black to tell. Steeling his nerves, Tony cut into the meat. He had to saw a bit with the knife, but he got a piece. Closing his eyes, he popped it into his mouth.

So much for the chicken theory. On the bright side, it wasn't the worst thing Tony had ever eaten. Chewing quickly, Tony managed to swallow by remembering the Pepto Bismol by the front door. He started thinking of what he could say about the taste that wouldn't hurt Tim's feelings.

"How is it?" asked Tim, staring at Tony nervously, setting two glasses of milk on the table.

Tony looked at Tim, and all he could think about was how much he loved this man. How Tim could just put up with all of Tony's crap and issues and weird habits without complaint. How Tim had spent all day on this just because he wanted to do something special for Tony on Valentine's Day.

"Tony? How does it taste?"

Tony smiled, "It's perfect."

End