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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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1,073
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1/1
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Mathematical Madness

Summary:

Fandom: Numbers
Pairing: Don/Charlie [incest]
Warnings: Incest
Summary: Even Charlie can deal with numbers too much.
Dis: Not mine. I made it all up.
Author's Notes: for dragonessasmith, who requested it for Valentine's Day. And I think it also answers the challenge for self-doubt at the numbers_slash comm.

Work Text:

Mathematical Madness
By Perpetual Motion

Charlie's up for thirty-eight hours straight. Don's tried to coax him to bed with promises to wake him after only an hour, or a half hour, but Charlie's having none of it. They're on a tight schedule, he knows it. The numbers prove it.

4 young girls kidnapped from their front yards.
1 man suspected in all four kidnappings.
6 possible places that he could strike next.
7.46 hours between kidnappings.
3 of the 4 girls taken while Charlie's been trying to find out where the guy will strike next.

The numbers are cooperating, but Charlie's having problems with the sheer *amount* of numbers he's dealing with. Each location has its own set of variables that needs to be considered. He's working them as fast as he possibly can, but his hands will only go so fast.

In hour forty-two, Charlie wakes Don up from where he's crashed on the worn-out couch that he, Don, and Terry moved into his space a few weeks before. He gives Don an address, and he's relieved that Don doesn't ask for assurances that Charlie's sure. Don just grabs his gun and badge, squeezes Charlie's shoulder, and grabs the rest of the team. Charlie takes over Don's space on the couch, curls himself into the leftover warmth from Don's body, and tries to sleep. He discovers he's too wired to sleep when he realizes that he's counting the threads in a square inch of the couch and trying to decide the *exact* thread count. He turns onto his back and stares at the ceiling. He starts counting the holes in the acoustic tiles, and tries to find an average. He needs to shut down his brain.

*

When Don gets back to the office with the team, they have four little girls in tow. They're all nervous and jumpy, but they haven't been touched. The man who took them, according to the girls, kept saying something about a "full set" and "muses". Don doesn't want to know how many little girls would have constituted a full set. He's about to take the girls into the lounge for cocoa and cookies when he sees Charlie at his boards from the corner of his eye. "Terry."

"Yeah?" Terry's locking her gun in her desk.

"Get the girls to the lounge for hot chocolate and cookies. I need to talk to Charlie."

"Isn't he-" Terry sees Charlie through the glass walls. "I guess not." Terry herds the girls into the lounge.

Don walks into Charlie's office and closes the door. "You should be sleeping."

"I should." Charlie is busy scrawling simple multiplication onto one of the boards.

1x1=2
2x2=4
4x4=16
5x5=25

Don recognizes the tactic. Sometimes, Charlie's brain won't stop being mathematical. Sometimes, all he sees is numbers. Sometimes, it starts to drive him a little crazy. He tries to fight it off by dealing with the simplest numbers he can, in the hopes that his brain will get bored and stop bothering him.

"How bad is it?"

"I was averaging the holes in the acoustic tile."

Don winces and walks behind Charlie. He watches him work for a minute. "We found all four of them. They were exactly where you said they'd be. They haven't been touched. The guy that did this, he said something about needing a 'full set'. He said the girls were his muses."

"There were nine muses in Greek mythology. Four into nine is 2.25. He needed .75 more girls to reach nine girls. 2.25+.75 equals 3.00. 3x3 equals nine."

Charlie has officially hit the point of no return. Don grabs his shoulders and turns him away from the board. "Come with me." He leads Charlie out of the room and steers them towards the elevator. "Anyone needs me, I'm on my cell!" He calls as he shoves Charlie into the elevator and follows after him. They ride to the top floor, then Don steers Charlie up a set of stairs and out onto the roof. As soon as the door clangs shut behind them, Don pins Charlie to it and kisses him hard. "47x86?" He asks when he breaks away.

"4042. It goes into the number two, 2021 times, which goes into the number three-" Charlie is cut off when Don kisses him again.

"How many times does 2021 go into three?"

"673.6, with the six repeating for-" Charlie is cut off again.

Don decides there's no reason to keep testing Charlie. Charlie is well and truly over the mathematical edge. Instead, he slides his hand up under Charlie's shirt and feels his heart beat. He slides his other hand into Charlie's hair and silently wills him to let his brain roam. When Charlie's hands slide around his waist, Don knows that he's coming down. He keeps kissing Charlie until Charlie is completely limp. "We found all four of them, and they're all fine."

Charlie's eyes are closed, but the pain is on his face. "If I had been faster-"

"Don't do that." Don tugs lightly at Charlie's hair to get him to focus. "Take it from a guy who's done it way too much; it's not worth it. Pointless guilt makes you crazy. And you're crazy enough." Charlie's laugh is exhausted but genuine. "You need sleep."

"Yeah." Charlie yawns hugely and unwraps his arms from Don so that he can press his palms against his eyes. "How much longer are you here?"

"Hours, probably. I've got to get the paperwork settled."

"I'll wait for you."

"You need sleep."

Charlie shrugs. "I'm going to pass out as soon as I'm horizontal." He smiles a little. "And the couch still smells like you."

Don can't help but peck Charlie on the end of the nose for that comment. "Come on, genius, let's get you tucked in."

Right before the elevator opens on their floor, Charlie touches Don's arm. "They're really okay?"

"You did great." Don puts an arm around his shoulders. "How many times does 1248 go into 5?"

Charlie closes his eyes and doesn't answer.

 

end