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Do, Do, Do, Do Do, Do...

*"There is an 8th Dimension. A Dimension of sight. A Dimension of sound. A Dimension of mind. A Dimension of shadow and substance, of things and ideas. Where Dreams and Reality walk a thin line. At the signpost up ahead. Your next stop.

The Realm Of the Twilight Zone!"*

*"You're looking at the handsome, dashing and all-male viper pilot, Lieutenant Starbuck, as he walks down the halls of the Galactica. His helmet in one hand and a fumarillo is in the other. He has just returned from a long range patrol with the one person he dislikes more than any other, SHEBA! Right now the only thing Starbuck wants to do is get home to his Lover Apollo and frack him 7 ways till the 8th day. But the fates have other plans for him. You and Starbuck have just been invited to a game of pyramid where the stakes are high. Starbuck has just been dealt a bum hand. And now he has to bluff his way to win the pot. The stakes here are his manhood and the Reality on which you perceive his universe. Imposable stakes you might think. But anything is possible when you play pyramid in,

The Realm of the Twilight Zone!"*

Dun!
Dun!
Dun!

********

"Apollo! I'm Home!"

"Shhhhhhh!"

Tha was not the respones he was expecting.

"What the frack is going on here Apollo?!"

Apollo walked up to his Love and kissed him on the lips. "Isn't it great Starbuck?!" Apollo asked pointing to the wall. On it was the largest vid screen Starbuck had seen. All around it were a group of their friends. Boomer, Jolly, Giles, Cree, Tag, Nate, Athena, Cassiopeia and others, all were sitting on the furniture or the floor, watching a show on the Big Screen.

"Uhh, it's great. But where did it come from Apollo?"

"Skylar." He said with a smile as he looked at the Screen. "He hooked it up to receive something he calls T.V. transmissions, from Earth."

Starbuck got a good look at the screen for the first time. On it he saw vipers flying in space. "Hey! They look like our ships."

"They are!" Apollo explained. "It would seem that The Angels of Light have decided to get the people of Earth ready for our arrival. So, they inspired this show to get the earth people used to the idea of having brothers from space come to them for help. The show is called Battlestar Galactica. "

The scene cut to a very good looking, muscled, dark haired young man. Standing with him was a short, busty, blond woman.

Starbuck asked his lover. "Who's the Hunk!"

"That my good man is Lee Adama."

Starbuck burst out laughing. "That good looking hunk of a man is supposed to be your father, Apollo!" Starbuck continued to laugh.

Apollo just glared at him. "No Starbuck, that is not my father. That's ME!"

In between laughter. "Right! So who's the girl then?"

Apollo smiled. "YOU!"

Starbuck stopped laughing. "What!!" he dropped his fumarillo.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Came from the crowd watching the show.

Starbuck thought for a moment. "Boy, you put your hand thru one Light Angel and this is what they do to you!"

Apollo took Starbuck's helmet and places it on a table"Come on Star. It's not that bad. Watch it for a while, you'll see. But from now on I don't think we should let Boomer baby sit for us any more."

"I heard that Apollo" Boomer said.

Not wanting to hurt his lover's feelings Starbuck took a seat. Apollo sat next to him and they both watched the show as it played out.

"Oh Apollo, I mean Lee, Uh Adama. Whatever the Hell your name is. I'm so lost now days. I do not know which way
is up."

"Now, now Starbuck, Take two deep Breast. AH, BREATHE!! Breath. All is not lost, we have each other. Well as long as the ratings hold up.

The female Starbuck wrapped her arms around the Captain's waist. He seemed uneased by her move on him.

"You know if it wasn't for you I would not be here to day. After all, it was you who fell in to the black void and pulled me out.

"What!" Starbuck blurted out.

"Shhhhhhhhh!"

"And it was you who offered to trade your life for mine when that damn sexy, but not as sexy as Baltar, Count Iblis took my life from me.

"I Don't believe this!"

"Shhhhhhhhhh!!"

"Starbuck quiet down."

"Apollo you not buying this peace of felgercarb are you?!"

"No, but look Starbuck, so they got some facts wrong. It's not that bad."

"That's easy for you to say. At least you're still a Man!"

"Well I can see how they could get that part wrong; with all the hair care products you have in the turbowash !"

"HEY! Most of those are yours, Apollo!!

Boomer interrupted. "Do you two ladies mind! We're trying to watch the show!"

Cassiopeia asked. "Starbuck do you think you can give me some make-up tips when the show is over?" She and Athena laughed.

Starbuck said nothing. He hoped eyes said it for him.

"Not to mention it was you who came to my defense when everyone said I killed Ortega. But you proved me innocent."

Apollo looked at Starbuck and said in a whisper. "You see, they got that right."

"I guess." Starbuck said gloomily.

"Even though I did do it!" she said that part fast.

"That tears it!" Starbuck stood and took Apollo's hand. "Skylar! Where are you! We need to talk RIGHT NOW!!"

In a flash the room was filled with a light fog and everyone in the room froze. Even the characters on the screen did not move. It was as if Apollo and Starbuck were placed in their own little pocket of time. Skylar meterializes. He was sitting at the desk, using Apollo's computer. Skylar was a Life Spark. He was a being of pure energy evolved into a physical form. He had what could be only be described, in this little amount of time, as magical powers. And he was very good looking too. *"Sorry it took me so long to get here Starbuck. But I'm talking to Kerensa and Tony on line."*

Kerensa's voice came thru the computer's speakers. "Hi big boys, how you two doing?"

"We're fine. Thanks for asking Kerensa." Apollo said

Then Tony's voice was the next to be heard thru the speakers. "Yo Starbuck! How it's hanging?" ha,ha!!

"You two know, don't you!"

"Well Starbuck, keeping a secret like this one, is not hard to do around here." Kerensa said.

"But then, keeping it Hard is not Starbuck's problem any more!" Tony snickered.

*"All right you two. Settle down, Starbuck needs our help. Let's see what we can do for him. What is it you want to talk about Starbuck?"* Skylar said with a smile.

"It's that show, Sky." He looked at the screen. "They've got the whole thing wrong. Apollo comes out looking like the hero and I come out looking like a wimp."

"And a girl." Tony added.

Apollo stepped forward. "Look I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a show. It's not real."

"Well, not right now it's not." Kerensa said sarcastically.

"What is she talking about Sky?" Starbuck asked in a panicky voice.

*"It's like this Starbuck. Reality is based on how we perceive it."*

Apollo looked at Skylar. "How we perceive it. I don't understand. How can that work with reality?"

*"Reality works like this Apollo. We all know that cubits have a certain value to them; that is the reality of the cubits. But why?"*

"Because that's the way it is."

*"No Apollo. Because The Colonies of Twelve tell us it is. So we believe in that reality. But if I could get everyone on this fleet to argue that the cubits are worthless. Then they would become worthless. And that would become the new reality of the cubits, no mater what the colonies might say. You see if enough people believe in that version of the Galactica reality then...."*

It hit Starbuck. "Then that version of reality will take over ours. We'll be just like the people on the show. And I'll be a..."

"A girl! Is that the word you're looking for Starbuck?!" Tony laughed.

"This is ridiculous Skylar! There is no way our reality is going to change."

*"How do you know that Apollo. For all we know. This reality is based in the mind of a 41 yahren old gay *virgin* who writes slash stories."*

Tony stopped laughing.

"That shut him up." Kerensa said with a vicious voice.

"That's impossible Skylar."

"No, Apollo he could be right. After all, that could explain why my pants are so tight all the time."

Apollo took his lover tight in his arms." Your pants are tight, because you look dame sexy in them." He placed his hand on Starbuck's chest and gave it a little squeeze. Wait, a smirk on his face. "Starbuck I think you're developing breasts."

Starbuck broke free from Apollo's grip, and felt his chest to see if Apollo was talling the turth.

Apollo started to laugh this time. He held out his arms. "Come here Starbuck."

"That's not funny Apollo!"

"Call me Lee."

Starbuck took a step back. "NO! This can't be happening! Skylar you have to do something Fast!!"

"Oh, come on Star, I'm only joking." Apollo said in between laughter.

"I know Apollo, but look at him." Starbuck pointed to the Captain on the screen. "Does he look happy in my arms?
HER ARMS!!"

"NO."

"Pol, let me fix this. Let me make it right."

"HOW?"

Starbuck could only look at Skylar .

*"Sorry Starbuck, but there's not much I can do for you."*

"He's right you know. It's not like they have a Life Spark on the Show, Starbuck." Kerensa said thru the speaker.

"But that does not mean we can't introduce one. Right Skylar?" Tony asked.

Starbuck and Skylar just stared at each other for a centon or two. Apollo hated this. He knew Skylar and Starbuck were talking to each other by way of mind link. They usually did this when they did not want anyone to hear what they were saying. And since Apollo was the only one who could hear them at that time, that meant they did not want him to hear what they were saying to each other. Apollo forgot about Kerensa and Tony, but they were out of sight and out of mind. Starbuck got a wicked smile on his face as did the Life Spark. Skylar walked over to Starbuck and took his hand.

Starbuck looked Apollo. "Be back in half a flash Pol." With that Starbuck and Skylar disappeared and the room cleared once again. Apollo looked back at the screen.

"Oh Captain, let me show you how much I appreciate what you have done for me." She kissed Lee on the lips. The kiss was dull and lifeless. But that was the best she could do, because she was ....

"Apollo! Look out!!" Starbuck came out from nowhere.

Back on the Galactica, in the lover's home everyone yelled at the same time. "Starbuck!"

Starbuck pulled the female Starbuck away from the Captain. Then he shot her right in the face.

This time it was Lee and Apollo who both shouted at the same time. "STARBUCK !!"

The female Starbuck burst into Flames. As the smoke cleared, everyone could see that this Women Starbuck was a Cylon.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. Who are you?"

He smiled. "I'm Starbuck."

"But you're a MAN!"

"Yup!! 100 percent, all MAN!"

Lee shook his head. "I like your uniform Starbuck."

"Do you know what I like about you?"

"No."

"You look good in a tank top Apollo." Starbuck took the Captain into his arms and held him tight. They were the same height as each other. It was a perfect fit.

"Sorry, but me name is Lee." He said in a daze.

"Nope! Your name is Apollo and let's get one fact straight from the beginning. I Love you Apollo no mater what reality we're in. And no one is going to take you away from me, ever!" Starbuck covered his lips over the new and true Apollo and kissed him passionately.

Every one who was watching the show could see just how much Starbuck truly Loved Apollo. Even Apollo back on the Galactica. And Apollo also knew no one could take his Starbuck away from him either.

They broke apart, and Lee said. "My name is Apollo and I Love you too Starbuck.

Skylar stood in front of the two Lovers. He was wearing a black suit and he had a cigarette in his hand.

*"From now on the part of Starbuck will be played by Starbuck. The way the GODS meant it to be. There is a lesson to be learned here tonight. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Don't FRACK with our Heroes or they just might FRACK you back. This might be a bitter pill to swallow, but to the male writing team on the New Battlestar Galactica Show, take your medicine. Or you just might find yourself getting in touch with your feminine side. This lesson was brought to you by the true Starbuck, Apollo and Skylar. And is fully indorsed by,

THE REALMOF THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!"*

From the speakers on Apollo's desk, came Kerensa's and Tony's voices at the same time. "DUN! DUN! DUN!"

The End