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This story can be also read at the following URL: Understanding
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Medical Investigation: Understandings
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Miles McCabe watched from the shadows of his darkened office as he heard Dr. Connor turn Eva and Natalie down before they wished him good night. The two women walked away, talking to each other, never looking back at Connor who stood in his office doorway watching them go. Once the two women were far enough away, Dr. Connor’s sharp gaze swept the hallways before he turned around and went back into his office, closing the door. Miles watched as the blinds were drawn, leaving only a shadow on them before the lights went off, plunging the other man’s office into darkness.
Miles sighed as he realized that his suspicions were correct that Stephan was indeed sleeping in his office and the rumors about him getting a divorce were true. Stepping into the hall, he quietly closed his door before heading towards Connor’s office. He raised his hand to knock when he heard Stephan’s cell phone ring and something told him to wait. He moved closer and placed his ear against the door to listened unashamedly to the one-sided conversation that was taking place in the other man’s office. He heard Stephan making an appointment to sign some papers on Monday, and his heart went out to his boss who sounded so tired and lost.
The young Doctor waited a few minutes after Stephan hung up, before knocking softly on the closed door. He heard some thumping and scrambling from within the office before the door was wrenched open, showing a somewhat rumpled and surprised Dr. Connor.
“Myles?”
Taking a deep breath, Myles slipped past Connor into the other man’s office. He immediately noticed the abandoned blanket that lay haphazardly on the office chair before turning to face the older man. Miles locked eyes with his boss and saw, for the first time, the heartbreak and loneliness that Stephan had been hiding behind the wall of professionalism he displayed to the world. He was very familiar with those shadows, for they looked back at him through his own mirror ever since he moved here and started this job without his lover. He knew what it was like to have someone you loved yank the rug out from under you, leaving you reeling and trying to figure out what to do. Keeping his voice firm but gentle, he told the other man, “Connor, you know you can’t stay here. Why don’t you come home with me?”
McCabe saw the shutters come down quickly as Stephan replied, “I don’t know what you mean. I’m just finishing some paperwork before going home.”
Myles didn't say anything, but looked pointedly from the perfectly ordered and cleared desk to the blanket that lay abandoned on the chair. He gazed back at his boss with a look that silently stated the other man was lying through his teeth.
For a few seconds Connor stood his ground, but then his resolve crumbled. Tiredly, he moved to the abandoned chair and sat down, resting his head in his hands. “This was the only place I could think of. We spent so much time in hotels … I just couldn’t –“
The younger man knelt down and placed his hand gently on Stephan’s arm, quietly offering support. They remained that way for a little while until Connor lifted his head up and looked into the kind, understanding, and worried eyes of his teammate. He placed his own hand on top of Myles, which rested on his arm and tried to give the other man a weak smile. “Go home, Myles, I will be all right here. It wouldn’t be the first time I've slept in this chair ... or the last.”
Myles took a firm grip on the other man’s arm as he stood. “No, you won’t.” With a tug, he got Connor to his feet, stating firmly, “You're coming home with me and that is final. Tomorrow, we are going to look through the classifieds and find you an apartment.” When Myles saw that Stephan was about to put up a fight, he played his trump card hoping to get the other man to agree with him. Keeping his voice firm, but gentle, he told the other man, “Stephan, think of your son, you know that he can’t come and stay here with you.”
Stephan was just too damn tired to ague with the young man, and Myles had a good point. Lisa wouldn't let him have Jack come and stay with him if he didn’t have someplace. “I know you're right, but …” The older man paused as if he was debating whether he should continue, but the need to confide in someone overrode his need for privacy. “If I stay here, then I can pretend that everything is fine and the only reason that I’m staying here is just because I’m too tired to drive home; that I haven’t failed.”
Myles firmly gripped both of Connor’s arms as he forced the other man to look at him. “Stephan, you didn’t fail. Things just happen. People just grow apart from one another, but you can’t live your life holding onto something that is no longer there. You have to move on.”
Connor searched the earnest brown eyes that were watching him and, for a moment, he saw that the younger man really understood what was going on with him. He knew that he wasn’t the only one to have gone through what he was going through, but it made him feel a little better to know that he had someone close he could talk to.
He allowed Myles to herd him towards the door, but gently disengaged from the other man. He headed towards his closet to retrieve his suitcases. He felt the younger man follow him, as he hurriedly put on his coat before reaching for both bags. Myles firmly took one of them from him. He was about to argue when he saw the stubborn set of the younger man’s jaw and let him carry the bag. Stephan moved towards the door and opened it, motioning Myles to go first. Then, he firmly closed and locked the door behind himself. Both men started down the hall towards the elevator.
Stephan kept shooting Myles sideway glances, causing the young man to ask, “What?”
The older man didn’t answer as he pushed the button for the elevator. Instead, Stephan silently continued to observe the other man. When the elevator arrived, Stephan stepped in first and turned to face the young man behind him. “I just realized something.”
Suspicious, Myles asked cautiously, “What?”
“You’re a mother hen.”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are.”
The elevator doors closed, muffling the voices of the two men.
The End