Work Text:
The Argument
by Jae Kayelle
"Will," Jack said.
"Won't," James answered.
"Will," Jack insisted.
"What?" Will asked.
"Not talkin' to you, lad."
"Why not?"
"Cause I'm talkin' to Jamie."
"Won't," James attempted to get back to the matter at hand.
"Sure he will," Will Turner nodded vigorously. "He always talks to you. He loves you. I'm just the whelp to him. I'm the one who said my place is between you and Jack, but where did that get me?"
"Married to my fiancée," James intoned with a frown.
"Well, yeah," Will agreed.
Silence: very tall, authoritative silence.
"Right. I'll just be going home to Elizabeth."
"Do that," James snapped.
"Jamie, love. Why are ye bein' so stubborn?"
"Not stubborn. Realistic."
"I will. I promise."
"I know you, you won't."
"Jamie, on my honour as a pirate I promise I will."
Inelegant snort.
"Here now. What's that for?"
"Pirates have no honour."
"Have you met me?"
"My point precisely."
"Have I ever told you how much I love that stick up your arse?"
"You've told me how much you love to stick me up the arse."
"Aye," Jack said dreamily. Then: "That's not what I meant."
Big sigh.
"Jamie," Jack said pleadingly.
"Pray tell me what you meant."
"S'not important."
"Jack."
"James."
"Won't."
"Will."
"You will not and, yes, I have met you. Pirates are not reliable in matters such as this."
"I will!"
"You're telling me that you will shave your moustache and beard, and cut your hair in order to walk unnoticed through town in broad daylight? So that my men will not arrest or shoot you on sight?"
"Aye. Just so I can come visit you any time I want."
"That's sweet, Jack. Here."
"What's this?"
"Scissors. Razor."
Silence. There was frightened back-pedalling silence from a suddenly nervous pirate, whose head was shaking frantically from side to side.
"Can't!"
"Knew it!"
"Did not!''
"Did."
"Did not."
"Did!"
# end