Title: Leaving Cascade
\nAuthor: PattRose
\nEmail: PattRose1@aol.com
\nGenre: Pre-slash
\nWarnings: Angst and self-pity, (Drama Llama below)
\n#397: Failure
\nSummary: Someone is feeling sorry for himself and thinks his life is over. <\/p>\n
Leaving Cascade
\nBy Patt<\/p>\n
I ran farther and farther every day-but I never did get out of Cascade. Not really. My heart and my mind were always still there.<\/p>\n
After the fiasco with the dissertation, I didn\u2019t know what to do or what to say to anyone, so instead I left, thinking I could escape the heartache. It didn\u2019t work-I failed at that, just as I failed at everything else in my life. I\u2019m a complete failure. I have no where to turn and no one to talk to. <\/p>\n
One of the worst things that happened is I went and fell in love with my partner. I\u2019m not worthy of his love and I would have failed at that too. I wish I did have someone to talk to, but that\u2019s my own fault. I brought this all on myself. <\/p>\n
My phone is ringing again. It\u2019s him. I\u2019m not going to answer it again. But he continues trying to get a hold of me. He doesn\u2019t know how lucky he is to be rid of me. Finally after five long rings, I answered the damn phone. It\u2019s the least I could do for him. <\/p>\n
\u201cHello,\u201d I said quietly. <\/p>\n
\u201cJim, where in the hell are you? I want to talk to you right now. You don\u2019t just leave someone after you tell them that you\u2019re crazy about them. You stay and have a life with them. Now get your ass back here and we\u2019re going to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBlair, what is there to talk about? I treated you like shit and blamed everything on you, when it should have gone on me too. I don\u2019t deserve you. I\u2019m a failure, Chief and I don\u2019t want to drag you down with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are you?\u201d Blair asked softly. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d I asked. <\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I want to be with the man I love. We can do anything we want with our lives, Jim. I don\u2019t want to live out mine alone when it could be with you instead. Please come home. Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m about 25 miles outside of Cascade, at a Motel Six, worrying about bugs in the sheets and pacing my life away,\u201d I answered. <\/p>\n
\u201cCome home now\u2026 I love you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could you love me?\u201d I wondered aloud. <\/p>\n
\u201cEasily, now get home as soon as you can and you don\u2019t have to worry about the sheets in this house. Everything is clean. Come home now, man, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay\u2026 I love you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
I closed my cell phone and hurriedly picked up everything that belonged to me and jumped in the truck. He loved me. We\u2019re going to have a long talk.<\/p>\n
On the short drive home, I realized one thing I knew that had to be true and that was the fact that I could no longer be a failure when it came to me and Blair. He deserved the best and he was going to get it. <\/p>\n
The end<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Title: Leaving Cascade Author: PattRose Email: PattRose1@aol.com Genre: Pre-slash Warnings: Angst and self-pity, (Drama Llama below) #397: Failure Summary: Someone is feeling sorry for himself and thinks his life is over. Leaving Cascade By Patt I ran farther and farther … Continue reading