The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD XLIV
Command and Control:
EEH  

Note of What Has Gone Before: By this time, Voyager had rescued four Borg children from a crippled Borg cube.  Freed from the Collective, they began to develop individual personalities.  Eventually, three of the children left Voyager to settle on the planets, leaving only Icheb, the oldest.

While attempting to collect deuterium, Voyager also collected an energy based life form, which attempted to take over the ship after Voyager accidently destroyed its home.

As Voyager moved ever closer to Earth, Starfleet's Pathfinder Project discovered a means to maintain regular communication once a month.  Early in these messages was word that the Doctor's creator, Lewis Zimmerman, was dying.  Confident that his experiences in the Delta Quadrant gave him the training he needed to cure Zimmerman, the Doctor asked Captain Janeway for permission to leave Voyager for the next communications cycle and attempt a treatment.

Captain's Personal Log:

Oddly enough, it was Lt. Cmdr. Tuvok who made the suggestion. It was a very well reasoned response to a situation which demonstrated a significant gap in Voyager's abilities to cope with some of the unique difficulties of the Delta Quadrant. Nonetheless, I was incredulous.

"Barrows?" I asked.

"Recent events have reinforced the need for a means to extend Voyager's engineering resources into areas inaccessible to the crew. The Doctor's emitter makes it possible to deploy a holoprogram in such environments."

"Barrows?"

"Such a program would need to be highly flexible, capable of acting autonomously in the event of unexpected variables."

I swear he paused for effect. "Unless you believe that Dr. Chaotica would be a better candidate."

"But Barrows?"

I had to admit I had never considered the possibility before. Despite all that I knew about her past in Starfleet, she had always been Mistress Barrows to me.

"It certainly sounds intriguing, but you'll understand that it's just a bit sudden. I must consider all of the ramifications."

"Certainly, Captain. There are a number of protocols that remain to be resolved."

"Like what?"

Tuvok almost squirmed. "The unique relationship that Barrows shares with members of the crew requires that measures are taken to preserve a productive work environment."

"Oh?" I asked with eyebrow raised.

Tuvok was an astute enough study of human behavior to know when he was skating on thin ice. "Certain crew members may have difficulty adapting to the sudden shift in relationships when an entity of such power is placed in a submissive role."

He had a point there. Torres especially might have trouble getting use to the Mistress becoming her direct subordinate.

"Noted, Lieutenant. I trust you will leave me to arrange such matters."

Tuvok nodded quickly. "Of course, Captain. Your experience is better suited to evaluate such a situation."

I dismissed him before he had a chance to piss me off. There was much to consider. I trusted Barrows implicitly to maintain self control. But both B'Elanna and Tom were another story. All they had ever known was the Mistress. So had I, for that matter. Could I ever treat her as just another crewman?

It was irrelevant. Chakotay wasn't just another crewman to me, nor was the Circle, or Neelix, or Tuvok or the Doctor. I like to thing I hadn't become so impersonal that anyone under my command was just another crewman. I could handle it. I would have to handle it. If I didn't believe I could, I didn't deserve the rank.
 
 

Chakotay would have to be willing to go along. His attitude towards the Mistress had softened considerably, but I was going to be asking a lot from him. I had never allowed the Mistress to intrude on our professional lives, something that he could rely on sharing with me alone. I could overrule him, but I didn't want to. This could be distracting enough without him fighting me.

Accordingly, I chose a fine seafood dinner to share with him that evening. After the lobster and champagne he was ready for more intimate handling. God knows I was. He kissed me after dessert, strong, passionate, yet tender and almost restrained. It took all my effort to avoid melting into his lips and surrender my body to his strong arms. He seized my shoulders and drew me closer, exploring my body with his mouth. Yet at every point of escalation he held back, leaving me to take the initiative. It was sweet torture, wanting him yet not wanting to seem desperate. We stayed that way by the table for what seemed like hours, dancing around each other in a tango of desire and restraint.

We finally moved to the sofa, our legs too weak to stand. My heart was pounding. It was a particularly masochistic foreplay. Neither of us was willing to take that final step. We were both still fully clothed. I was so wet. My thigh brushed against his crotch, and I felt his erection straining against his clothing. I wanted that thick member pumping into me until I passed out. I'm sure he wanted the same. But he was determined to prove that he had more self control than I.

So be it. The point of the evening was to make him more conducive to discussion. I pushed Chakotay back onto the sofa and settled between his legs. I nipped and tugged at his cock through his clothing. He wrapped his hands around my hair. Grasping the hem of his trousers, I pulled them down past his waist, revealing the object of my desire. I kissed and fondled his cock before taking him whole into my mouth.

He gripped my ears and held on as I literally fucked him with my lips. I rode him hard. I rode his fast. I rode him slow. I tenderly licked his shaft. I never took my eyes off his cock.

Chakotay fought it as long as he could. When I finally sensed that he could take it no more, I pulled out and stroked him with a confident hand. I made him shoot his load on my face, on my neck, dripping on to my rank pips, spurting it onto my hands, sticking between my fingers.

I stood before him and licked every bit off my fingers, face and uniform.

"Wow," he gasped. It was all he could manage.

I neatly pulled up his trousers and curled into his arms on the sofa.

"Well," he finally said. "This must be one hell of a favor you need."

"What makes you say that?"

He smiled. "You usually need a favor when you blow me."

I hit him, lightly, in the shoulder. He was right, but that didn't mean I could let him be so cynical about it.

"You remember our friend on Deck 12?"

Chakotay nodded.

"We probably would have had an easier time of it if we could have had direct access to the engine's inner mechanisms."

"True. But we could also have had an easier time with the Borg if we had a magic wand."

"The Doctor's mobile emitter would have allowed us access to those systems. What we need is a program analogous to the EMH but dedicated to engineering."

The notion clearly intrigued him. "The Doctor's program has been modified enough already. To add the extra engineering expertise could have unpredictable results."

"Agreed."

He was stumped. "Kathryn, it's a wonderful idea, but the Doctor's program took the best holo engineers in Starfleet years to compile. Torres and Paris have a knack in holoprograming, but frankly, they're not up to the challenge."

I got myself a fresh glass of champagne. "Also agreed."

"This isn't a character for a holonovel. It would have to have a level of sophistication and autonomy that..."

The Commander finally connected the dots. He paused, staring at me, then at the ceiling, then at his feet. Then he began to laugh.

"You are insane," he said. He ducked from my next punch. "Brilliant, but insane." He laughed again.

"Are you objecting? Out with it, Mister."

"No, I don't object. Really, it is brilliant. If it works. If B'Elanna can handle giving her orders."

"I know. Let me take care of her." I took another sip. "I didn't think you'd agree so easily. You've never entirely trusted her."

"I don't. Not entirely. She was programmed to own you. That's always a danger. But as a crew member, I have no worries."

Chakotay leaned in closer. "Don't tell her this, but she once described her ultimate fantasy as a chance to work under your command. She's too good a dominatrix to screw that up."

He laughed again. "Barrows. You'll never get Tuvok to agree."
 
 

I had intended to go to the Doctor soon after. Chakotay had other plans. He insisted on repaying me for the blow job. It began with another of those smouldering kisses and ended with me on my back on the sofa as he slid my trouser past my hips. His talented tongue swirled and licked my clit until I was bucking into his face. Afterwards he kissed me, allowing me to taste myself on his lips. As I stared at his fresh erection I resisted the powerful urge to take him right there on the floor, the latest round in a series of lovemaking to continue until we reported tired and sore for our duty shifts the next morning.

It was with some regret that I finally sent the Commander away for the night. After a brief time to compose myself, as well as change into a fresh uniform, I found myself in Sickbay.

As I expected, the Doctor took it badly.

"My emitter is a delicate and irreplaceable device," he argued. "We still don't know exactly what effect long term exposure to the warp drive could cause to it. It could be permanently damaged. I could lose my ability to go on away missions or even leave Sickbay."

"I'm aware of that Doctor. Surely you can see the value to Voyager that your emitter could provide in an emergency."

"I'm a doctor, not a temp."

You're a smart ass, I thought. "Then you can see our problem. We need to develop another program for the task." My turn to pause for effect. "Believe me Doctor, I do not look on this project as being either trivial or unduly dangerous."

"Unduly dangerous."

"No assignment is free from risk. Not even yours."

"But that... woman. To turn her loose on the crew..."

The Doctor was not an astute enough study of human behavior to know when he was skating on thin ice. I corrected him.

His next statement was the product of much time and consideration. "There are certain protocols to consider. A standard by which access to the emitter would be determined. It would be imprudent for Voyager to loose medical aid during an away mission because a field coil was being aligned."

What followed were delicate negotiations over control of the mobile emitter. It was long and tedious. He wasn't a doctor, he was a lawyer. However, once he conceded that the emitter was a ship resource and not his personal property, it was a simple matter to determine who really would make the decisions. All that remained was giving him enough reassurances that I wasn't treading on his toes unnecessarily.

"It is, after all, a system for emergency response," I finished. "We have a full engineering staff already. Once she's ready for the job, we shouldn't need to use your emitter unless we're in trouble."

"Thank you for your consideration, Captain, I hope it works out, " the Doctor replied diplomatically. "Although you'll never get Tuvok to agree to it."

I left Sickbay thoroughly drained. This had been a much harder fight than I expected. Common sense dictated that I get some sleep. It was late, very late. But I had to resolve this tonight. Irrationally, I dreaded the thought that she might say no.

I was not in the best shape when I reached the Holodeck. I allowed myself a breath, then entered.

Barrows was surprised that I did not kneel as was custom. It wouldn't have been appropriate. She soon understood why.

"Why of course, my dear. I would be honored."

It was as Chakotay had said. She agreed to become an official member of Voyager's crew, with all of the duties and responsibilities that went with the title. I was immensely relieved. Somewhere deep inside I wanted to run into my Mistress' arms and have her comfort me against all my demons real and imagined. It wouldn't have been right, and she knew it.

Barrows didn't raise the subject of the Circle directly, so I approached it from a different angle, covering the plan to assimilate her into the crew.

"First we'll upload the relevant technical and scientific databases. Afterwards, we'll arrange some holosimulations to see if it sticks. If that is successful, we start arranging with the Doctor to book some time with the mobile emitter and get you use to working around the rest of the engineering staff."

She had been listening with an intense, thoughtful gaze.

"Eminently practical."

"During any away missions the emitter will be kept free for use by whichever of you needs access to it. While not being used for a specific task or duty shift, the emitter is to be stored in Sickbay."

No matter what I proposed, Barrows agreed. I didn't expect her to object, but it was still unusual. She was very quiet. I realized with a shock that she had not been asked to contribute, having accepted the project on its face value.

"Is there anything you'd like to suggest, Mistress?"

"Not off hand. You've been very thorough. I'm sure between Tuvok and the Doctor you've worked out every contingency."

But not Chakotay. Somehow she knew he wouldn't object.

"Well then. I'll brief the senior staff tomorrow and arrange to have Seven and B'Elanna begin uploading the data."

"That should be entertaining. Dear Torres won't know whether to ride the horse or wear the saddle."

"Lt. Torres is a Starfleet officer. Regulations on sexual harassment may require infrequent enforcement, but if she can't cope with a member of my crew while on duty, then she will face the consequences as the chain of command dictates."

"And when not on duty?"

"Your time is your own as it is for anyone else. I trust your judgement to handle the matter appropriately."

"Bring it on."

I left Barrows and headed to bed, anxious and exhausted. We were turning a corner, and I was as excited by the possibilities as much as I was concerned about the uncertainties.
 
 

I was unconscious as soon as my head hit the pillow. The next morning I arranged a meeting of the Circle in the Briefing Room. They were stunned, as expected. Tom was excited, of course, his fear of the lash outweighed by the possibility of unexpected bonus pussy. To my disappointment, so was Harry. At least he was more subtle about it. B'Elanna was clearly nervous about the responsibility, covering her agitations with the minutia of the project. She was building a series of scenarios in her head, as much to cover her own ass against failure in my eyes and the eyes of the Mistress, as to better understand just how far she could push.

I laid it out. "While we are working on developing the modifications, undergoing testing or deploying during a crisis, Barrows is to be treated as would anyone else. If you feel it necessary to be firm, be firm. But remember, she did serve in Starfleet. She did graduate from the Academy. She knows what the job takes."

Seven was quiet. She was taking it calmly, only the subtle increase in her breathing betraying her anticipation. Hell, if I hadn't worn myself ragged, I'd be the same way they were.

"How are we going to explain her to the rest of the crew?" Harry asked.

"The official explanation is that she was developed by Tom and B'Elanna, using elements of the Doctor's program as a base. After Fair Haven, they're likely to believe you. Once the basic tests are complete, we'll have a formal introduction."

I got them focused on the task, then went to inform Barrows.

She was waiting for me on the Holodeck in her old Enterprise uniform, replete with a new com badge.

"How do you like my uniform?" she asked, arching her back as she snapped to salute.

"It's adorable, Mistress," I replied. It was. "However, it does not match contemporary dress code."

"They don't know what they're missing," she said as she switched to a more conventional attire. Almost conventional anyway, as it was synched and boosted a bit more than usual. Tighter too. "How's this?"

I took a breath, made a quick count to ten and exhaled. Here we go. "Not quite. The point is to blend in."

"Is it any worse than that official Starfleet push-up bra you have on?"

"Please Mistress, at least try to play along with the cover story."

"You don't think Tom could program something like this?"

"I know that B'Elanna wouldn't let him."

The uniform adjusted slightly; the heels got thicker if not noticeably lower, the material looser; she even added minute wrinkles. It was still professionally tailored. It would have to do.

"Thank you. B'Elanna and Seven are compiling the data, I'll be back when they're ready."

"I'll be here."
 
 

That actually took several days. Their caution was admirable, but when they proposed constructing a holoprogram just to test the upload speeds I told them to get on with it. The Mistress was waiting patiently right where I'd last seen her when we finally gathered for the procedure. I watched as Torres and Seven spent several minutes adjusting the hologrid. B'Elanna asked her a few highly technical specs about her file assimilation subroutines.

"I haven't the faintest idea, dear," the Mistress replied. "I thought the point of this was to teach me about these sorts of things. Try checking the manual."

"You have a manual?"

"Of course, pet. No good program comes without documentation."

"May I see it?"

"I've always believed that the process of discovery is the essence of my lifestyle. It would never do to just give away the answers."

B'Elanna threw up her hands. "Okay. Best guess then." She made a few further adjustments. "Keep your fingers crossed."

I did. B'Elanna activated the upload.

"File transfers complete," the computer announced.

Barrows hadn't moved. "Mistress?"

I took a tentative step towards her. "Barrows?"

She looked at me. "Yes, Captain?"

"Are you alright?"

"All of my systems seem to be functioning within normal parameters, Captain."

"Was the upload successful?"

Barrows considered this for a moment. "Upload logs confirm that all data packets were matched during transfer. All directory structures remain intact. No partial files or bad sectors. Please try a random test for comprehension."

Torres looked at her with narrowed eyes. "What is your packet confirmation sub channel?"

Barrows didn't hesitate. "Alpha 962395/3984."

Torres shrugged. "Okay."

She and Seven tossed out a good dozen problems of ever greater obscurity. By the ninth one I didn't know the answers anymore. But Barrows was correct every time.

She turned to look at me and patiently awaited my next command. I was horrified. I'd created a monster.

"Is something the matter, Captain?"

"You seem... different."

"Is that because you can't believe that I could ever maintain such professional detachment or that we've been here more than five minutes and you're all still fully clothed?"

Her posture was demur but I could still see it in the eyes. It was the same spark I'd seen when I met her at the Club. A flash of desire swept over me. I pushed it aside.

"I was concerned, Mistress."

"Please, Captain, I'm on duty. My name is Tonia Barrows. But thank you."

Torres and Seven began preparing the first simulation. The scene shifted to Engineering, and Barrows was informed of the level one crisis imminently brewing. The alerts sirens began blaring and she was off, checking panels and pulling isolinear chips. I suddenly realized that I was in the way of my crew, all of my crew, while doing their jobs. I gracefully bowed out.
 
 

I stayed away from the Holodeck. There was no reason for me to be there. I concentrated on the other thousands tasks within a captain's purview. I didn't want to interfere. My presence would only break the illusion that she was an ordinary crewman. I wondered how long I could maintain the facade.

The Doctor settled the matter for me. His campaign to travel to Earth was a difficult enough subject on its own. The very real risk that Voyager would be left with only Tom Paris as a medical staff made me reluctant to consider his proposal. But Barrows proved to be the key. If I could invest such attachment, trust and love in what was to a cold eye merely sophisticated software, if I could imbue such a dead thing, such an artifact, with such validation as to expend many man hours of my beleaguered crew to fulfill its desires and dreams, how could I deny another such entity the opportunity to try to save the life of a sentient being of actual flesh and blood?

But if a resource was to be lost for a time, another was to be gained. Here was an opportunity to test Tuvok's proposal in full, with minimum risk and maximum gain for all participants. The Doctor was reluctant, but couldn't really argue given the circumstances.

Barrows was wrapping up an another emergency drill, shutting down the core amongst a coolant leak and intermittent phaser fire. I was shocked at the horribly burned and twisted bodies strewn about the deck, Torres' own among them, but neither a Klingon nor a Borg was likely to be sentimental.

She completed the task quickly, even dispatching four of the helmeted intruders along the way.

"Time?" She called out.

Torres appeared from around a corner, stepping over her eviscerated doppleganger. "72.6 seconds. Congratulations. You shut down the core, but not before the bad guys used our own ship to blast a colony."

"Fudge," Barrows pouted.

"You spent too much time taking out the intruders instead of shutting down the core. If they can't affect you, ignore them."

"Unusual comment coming from you, Lieutenant."

"What I might do in this scenario is irrelevant. This is about what you can do."

I stepped forward. "I'm not intruding, am I?"

Barrows snapped to attention. Torres tried to relax.

"Not at all, Captain," B'Elanna said. "What can we do for you today?"

"Just checking on your progress. How is it going?"

"It's going. We'll make it work."

"I'm sure you will." I turned to Barrows. "Do you mind if I had a word with the Lieutenant?"

"Certainly Captain." Barrows moved back towards the still smoking fictional warp core.

"Thank you... crewman." What was I going to call her?

I took Torres aside. "You heard about the Doctor's request?"

"Yes, Captain. Have you come to a decision?"

"I have. I'm going to let him go. But there's more. I'm going to request that we allow Barrows unlimited access to the emitter while he's away."

The Lieutenant nodded.

"We have an opportunity to give this project a proper test in the real world. My question is, is she ready?"

"For an actual emergency?" Torres pondered not her decision, but her words. "Frankly Captain, no, she isn't." She gaged my reaction. "Look, she knows the database backwards and forwards. She can do any maintenance procedure on board better than anyone else. Hell, give her a drydock and she could build the ship from scratch with her bare hands."

"But?"

"But... She has the knowledge but not the intuition. Give her a surprise and she makes mistakes. Don't get me wrong, she is getting better. Slowly. Very slowly. We still have a long way to go."

"Well if practice is what she needs, than wouldn't the best course of action be to give her the emitter and assign her a duty shift?"

B'Elanna gave it her best professional consideration. "Couldn't hurt. First watch. Get her use to the routine beyond the manuals."

"Excellent. See to it, Lieutenant."

"Yes, Captain." B'Elanna lingered. "Captain?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I've studied the holographic interfaces the Equinox crew invented. We could cross match one with Barrows' own sensory subroutines and create a virtual reality interface."

"To better monitor her during an emergency? See what she sees, hear what she hears, is that it?" An innovative notion, although an intrusive one.

Torres nodded. "And if necessary, make whatever adjustments are needed on the fly. Barrows would become an extension of the engineer."

"I would want Barrows permission before you proceed."

"Of course, Captain."

I asked Barrows over.

"Well crewman, do you think you're ready to try some regular duty shifts?"

"I'll give you my best, Captain."

"I don't doubt it. We'll put you on the schedule after the Doctor's departure."

"Thank you, Captain." She paused. "Captain, if I might make a suggestion..."

"Yes, crewman?"

"We should take advantage of my new mobility as soon as possible."

"What did you have in mind?"

"We could take one of the Equinox's holo interfaces and modify it to allow an engineer direct access to my sensory subroutines."

Torres and I looked at each other. "Interesting concept. Are you sure you want to try it? It's the ultimate invasion of privacy."

She looked me square in the eye. "I'm here to do anything I can for my ship and her crew, ma'am."

"Alright, we'll begin work immediately. Glad to see the Lieutenant's talent rubbing off."

Barrows smirked. "That, and I could see your lips move."
 
 

I called a meeting of the engineering staff and senior officers in the Mess the day after the Doctor spirited away to the Alpha Quadrant. With the entire crew holding their collective breath on his fate, it seemed the opportune time to make the announcement.

It was with baited breath that they listened to my story about Barrows' inception at the hands of Lieutenants Paris and Torres, intrigued as scientists at the concept and as survivors by the aid. Their hope and encouragement boosted my own, amplifying it. The origins may have been a lie, but my sentiments were the absolute truth.

"It is with the greatest pride that I present the latest addition to Voyager's crew, the Emergency Engineering Hologram. Computer, activate EEH."

Barrows appeared before them, uniform correct, posture perfect yet relaxed. Staring at everyone and no one, her voice was clear and professional. "Please state the nature of the technical emergency."

Tom just laughed. Torres chuckled. Chakotay smiled to himself. The room erupted in cheers. Barrows gave the slightest curtsy. It was pandemonium. Tuvok inhaled slowly. Only now did he realize just what he was in for.

Afterwards there were toasts and food and questions. Lots and lots of questions. Tom and B'Elanna fielded most of them, and did a pretty good job of being reassuring yet vague. Barrows answered some as well, purely technical ones from the purely technically inclined. Her answers were as such flawless, and helped reinforce the notion that she was a construct. Nothing could hide the twinkle in her eyes, for which Tom received many compliments. Chakotay joined me in the back of the Mess with a glass of champagne.

"I think she'll fit in just fine."

I nodded. "It hadn't occurred to me before, but this is more people than Barrows has had a chance to be around before. At the Club she was always around people, especially new ones. She loved meeting new people."

"That's putting it mildly," Chakotay replied.

"I mean beyond the obvious. I've been so selfish. I've kept her locked up in the Holodeck for years." God, was that a tear? Chakotay stood as close as he dare.

"You've done what you believed was prudent for your crew, your mission, and frankly, for her." He made sure I met his gaze. "And in your own way you've broadened her world as best you could."

"You're very sweet. I'll be fine. Really. Just a little too much champagne." I took another sip. "Or not enough."

Chakotay patted me on the shoulder and we got back to being an official presence. I caught Barrows' direct gaze once, and was met with a polite smile that almost turned my legs to jelly. She returned to her conversation and I stopped drinking. The crew took the opportunity to relax in a way that was all too uncommon. No one was inclined to stop them.
 
 

Even at the far side of the galaxy, nothing could stop the pace of paperwork, a problem that had grown exponentially since we had first contacted Starfleet. Thus I was still in my Ready Room late in the evening when the knock came upon my door. It was Barrows, dropping off an update on systems efficiency.

"So, crewman, how has your first day on the job been?"

She stayed at ease before my desk. "Gloriously routine, Captain. Lt. Torres kept it pretty simple today. The heavy lifting begins tomorrow."

I examined the report and put it aside. "Very well, crewman, you may return to your post."

"Thank you, Captain." Barrows didn't move.

"Is there anything else?"

"No, that was it. My last assignment was to drop off that report. I'm done until tomorrow morning."

My pulse quickened. Barrows still hadn't moved an inch. She was smiling patiently.

"I didn't realize..."

She leaned forward over my desk pausing only inches from my face, her arms behind her back "Very sloppy."

Her eyes had narrowed but the smile remained unchanged. I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, Mistress. I should have checked your schedule in advance."

I could feel her breathing near me. "I suppose I should be lenient. First offense, natural mistake, opening night jitters, something like that."

I was silent. She remained where she was. Her position would be extremely difficult for a normal person to maintain. Somehow I believed that Barrows would have done so even in a real body. She could be very patient.

"Answer me."

"No, Mistress. There is no excuse for my forgetfulness. Please forgive me."

She made me wait, eyes averted, her own body impossibly bent yet relaxed as she considered my apology. "Eyes up, pet."

I did so. Her eyes were directly in front of mine, her lips close enough to kiss. She had a look of pure mischief. I'd rarely seen her so enthralled at the possibilities, a child not sure which sweet to sample first. I tried vainly to slow my breathing, not to give in to the anticipation. This was going to be intense.

Still leaning over my desk, Barrows reached around and grabbed me by the shoulders, lifting me from my chair. I gasped as she tore the front of my tunic open with her bare hands in a single forceful pull. She finally stood and slowly walked around the desk, entwining her arms around me from behind. My tunic was pulled off my shoulders. My chest was heaving.

"Remember, no coming without permission."

"Yes, Mistress." It was an effort, a very strong effort, to comply.

She pulled my shirt up over my head, then massaged my breasts through my bra. As one hand slid over my abdomen I realized that I hadn't yet locked the door. She already knew.

"First one through the door gets to fuck you anywhere I say," she whispered in my ear. "Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and it will be Mr. Kim or Commander Chakotay. Then again it could be Lt. Torres or Seven. I'd have them lick your pussy dry, or perhaps fist you. When was the last time I fisted you, pet?"

"Years, Mistress, years." She slid her hands into my trousers and slipped a finger into my dripping wetness. She bit my shoulder.

"You've always been such a slut around me, pet. I've never met such a wet pussy. You'll do anything I want to satisfy that box. If Neelix walked in right now you'd fuck him, and you'd come if I told you to."

"Yes, Mistress, anything you want." It was true. At that moment I'd do anything to please her.

She stripped the rest of my uniform off. I could feel her breasts pushing into my bare back through her own uniform. She again whispered in my ear.

"Maybe I should just hand you over as a present to the night shift. It looks like you could use a nice stiff cock or three." I felt myself being guided towards the door. Barrows remained behind me. I tried to remember just how close one had to be to activate the sensor.

"Brace yourself."

I reached out with my arms to grasp the door frame. Barrows began working my body in earnest, exploring and stroking my hips, my back, my underarms, my abdomen, my clit. I was gasping, desperately trying not to scream. I wanted to come. I wanted to collapse, but that would trigger the door. I found myself standing on the ends of my toes.

Then she was gone. I heard my desk being cleared. It seemed that I stood with my arms outstretched against the frame forever. Finally I was called over to the desk.

I was made to kneel, my body draped over my desktop, my feet touching the floor, my ass and my dripping pussy pointed towards the door.

"Sometimes the traditional methods are best," she said, after which, she began to paddle me lightly with a padd. Its hard surface had a most uncomfortable feel, unlike the subtle sting of a lash or the sensuous connection of a bare hand. But it was effective, reddening my skin in a way I knew I was going to feel for some time. In a tiny corner of my brain, I marveled at Barrows' skill in wielding such an awkward implement.

She paused, and in my mind's eye, I imagined her considering her handiwork.

"No... something's missing..." she pondered a moment. "I see what is missing, the setting is not yet complete."

She placed the padd between the cheeks of my sore behind.

"Here, hold this for a moment." I clenched and did the best I could.

Barrows gathered my torn and discarded clothing and began to tie me very securely to the desk. Each leg was wrapped to the base of the desk while my arms were secured behind my back. Her knots were fiendishly tight, not enough to lose circulation but enough to prevent me from wiggling so much as a millimeter. She retrieved her padd and pondered some more.

"Tell me my dear, where do you keep your vibrator?"

My breathing spiked. It was a little hard to speak. "Mistress?"

"You know, the one you keep around here for emergencies. I know you must have one."

I was mortified. I had never told anyone about that, not even in my logs. Was I that predictable? "Middle drawer," I gasped.

She tugged at the drawer, which was of course, locked. She had me order the computer to open it, than removed the vibrator, the oil, the feather, the plug... why did I have all that here?

"So thoughtful. Saves me the trouble of asking you to keep it on hand. Now I think we should explore just what the limits of your orgasms are. Are you ready?"

I nodded my head in a delirium of pain, pleasure and anticipation.

She used every implement in the drawer and almost every object in the room as she probed and studied my body. There was a particularly methodical way she tested me, as if an engineer's training was applied to advanced sexual release. She seemed most proud of the vibrator, which after she lubricated in my pussy was inserted between my lips to quiet my increasing moans. At her command I lavished much attention on it, at first sucking and licking it as if it were Chakotay's, then finally bearing down on it with clenched teeth as she licked and pierced my nether lips and anus.

When the orgasms were finally allowed they was very long indeed, a rolling wave, thundering through my body that seemed like an eternity but was in fact 289 seconds, as my Mistress counted off between crests of pleasure.

I was exhausted, sore, and thoroughly sated. As I layed there, still bent horribly over my own desk, she casually stroked my behind as the last waves faded into memory. I remained like that for quite a while, gathering my strength as well as my wits.

Finally, Barrows kissed me on the back of the neck, and began loosening my bonds. They were not removed, but I could now at least stretch after a fashion, and I began to work out the kinks in my muscles before I damaged something.

She kneeled in front of me, and caressed my face.

"I'll leave the rest of it up to you. You should be free in an hour or so, if you work at it diligently enough."

She stood before me, and I craned my head back to see her.

"Good night, Captain." she saluted and left.

I just lay there for a while, naked, my fluids running down my bare legs, my sweat covering the desktop. Totally exposed to the universe, exhausted, too tired to even try and remove the rest of my bonds, still completely open to anyone who might happen through my door. I rested the side of my face against the desktop, soaking in the moment before I began the slow, difficult process of freeing myself. Utterly, deliriously happy.

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45: Crewman Barrows