The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD
Tender Torments

Note of What Has Gone Before: After Kes accidentally violated a Nechani shrine, she was thrown into a deep coma.  To save Kes' life, Janeway volunteered for the Nechani rite of passage.  She succeeded, after being forced to confront a spiritual side she never knew existed.

"Do you think that letting Torres batter you in parrises squares will give you absolution?" Kim asked drily. "Stay still."

Tom stopped fidgeting in front of Kim in the sunken tub. Kim began to knead his shoulders. They were in the bath chamber. It was a frequent choice of the Mistress’ Circle during the separation. Harry was exasperated. He’d found Tom sitting forlornly on the floor of an empty Holodeck. He hadn’t even bothered to access Sandrine’s. Torres sent Kim to help him. Harry thought she had been exaggerating his condition. If anything, she’d underplayed it.

"Program Janeway Club 3, Authorization Slave 1," Kim said. "Do you want a bath attendant?"

"Lord no," Paris sighed. Paris looked befuddled and dejected.

Harry persuaded Tom to undress and enjoy the water. The Ensign was unsure why he wanted to do this. It just seemed natural to him.

"Ouch," Tom snapped. "You’re beginning to sound like Her."

Kim placed a hot towel on Tom’s back. His fair skin was deeply bruised. "Geesh, Tom, why didn’t you let her whip you? Then it would have been controlled."

"It wouldn’t be the same," he sighed. "It wouldn’t be punishment."

"I guess I know what you mean," Kim said quietly. He gently guided Tom to lay in the water ordering a temperature increase. "Let me do your feet. That’ll make you sleep."

Tom let himself float. The water soothed his muscles. Harry massaged his feet further relaxing him. She had said yes, but still did not claim them again. She had been tormenting him that day deliberately. She had been baiting him. He could not press or it would be over for sure. He had to show patience. Harry increased the pressure forcing Tom’s mind away from his thoughts making him concentrate on the hands touching him.

Tom was still surprised at Harry’s ease while naked with him. They had come a long way since opening up after the prison. The Estrangement had accelerated the growing intimacy. Harry knew Tom felt alone. He and Torres stayed close, but Harry remained available at all hours.

Harry ordered the tub away then dried Tom’s prone body. They dressed in silence.

"I’m going to your quarters with you," Harry said. "You’re going to eat then get some rest."

"I don’t need a babysitter."

"You need your friend, Tom. We all want her back. If you don’t show control, we won’t get that," Harry said. "You need me."

Tom knew he was right. He needed to calm down. He needed sleep. Anticipation kept him strung tight like a bow. He couldn’t drift off for any length of time. Harry led him back to his own quarters. Tom followed mutely and accepted the food placed in front of him.

"Why do I do it, Harry?" Tom said between bites. "Why do I push them?"

"Eat," Harry replied. "You do it because you ‘re afraid to lose them. You’re like a loner kid."


"The loner kid in school. Every school has one," Kim said. "You pay attention to them... reach out to them. Then, they close on you like a vise. They don’t want to lose the attention, but they drive it away by overreacting."

"I didn’t want to lose her," Tom whispered. "So I held on too tight."

"You’ve done that to everyone who showed you real affection, Tom," Harry said "I’m surprised you haven’t done it to me."

Tom looked at Harry levelly. "Don’t think I haven’t thought about it."

"I’m not going anywhere, Tom," Harry replied with solemn dark eyes.

Tom smiled. "I know."

He pulled Harry into his arms. There was no hesitance in the Ensign’s body. Tom pulled Kim back as he reclined on the sofa. They were entwined with Kim on top. He rested his head on Tom’s shoulder his lips close to brushing the nape of his neck.

"Stay with me, Harry," Tom whispered. "I need to be close to someone, but not just anyone."

Harry held on tighter. He brushed his lips against Tom’s skin. It was sweet and gentle, but it set his skin on fire.

"Harry watch it, you’re making me..." Tom half groaned.

Kim responded by rolling both of them to the floor. Paris landed on top with a gasp. He didn’t look into Kim’s face. He relaxed against his friend’s body. Harry held him, his hands slowly traced his muscles through his shirt; Harry was hard, Paris realized. But he was not in a hurry. No words were spoken. He felt Harry’s hands in his hair. Then, under his shirt feeling his skin.

Paris sighed. His control was waning. He reached up to take Kim by the hair. They looked each other in the eyes. There was incredible warmth that brought a sheen to Tom’s eyes. And there was desire that stirred Paris. Janeway said that Kim’s lips were a delight. She melted against them and relished them each time they kissed. Tom resisted no longer. He lowered his head.

Lord, is she always right, Tom thought as his tongue danced with Kim’s. His lips were firm, lush. The kiss was intense, open to Tom’s assault. Kim arched toward him and pulled at his shirt. It was all the signal Tom needed. A flurry of flying clothes ensued.

She said that his skin’s feel and taste was addictive, Tom thought as he moved over his body with his hands and his tongue. Harry didn’t move but he was making small sounds and gasping under Tom’s intense caresses. He touched every inch of Harry’s firm, supple body before he went after his cock.

"Let me... Tom, let me do you," Harry murmured. He was thrashing. Tom moved around so that Harry could latch his mouth onto his cock. Kim held onto Tom’s smooth muscular ass and sucked hard. Paris groaned then concentrated his effort to make Harry come, because with the way he was being sucked Tom knew he wouldn’t last for long. He massaged Harry’s balls and felt the Ensign shudder before he stiffened.

Tom took the hot spurt full into his mouth. Then, Tom released in a torrent of release he hadn’t felt since his last real session with the Mistress. His energy drained out as well. Harry was the one to move them to bed. Tom fell asleep in his friend’s arms.

Captain’s Personal Log:

I was watching them. For a while I was gauging their sincerity and trying to figure out what my next action should be. Then, came the incident in the sacred caves. I was gone for days and then physically weak for a week after. And there was also no getting around my First Officer. He crossed my threshold perhaps thirty seconds after I returned there from Sickbay.

Chakotay stared at me. His eyes seemed blacker with concern. There was a sheen of tears in them.

"I’m alright, Chakotay." I said softly. "I swear."

He still didn’t speak. Instead he picked me up to cradle me in his arms. I felt a little lightheaded from the sudden movement. My head felt heavy so I let it rest against his shoulder. He laid me down then gently, carefully removing my clothes. There was no caressing. He examined every inch of me touching as though I were a fragile piece of crystal. I was turned on my stomach, and my sides. When he was finished, I moved up on my elbows and looked at him.

"Well, doctor?" I whispered.

Chakotay was kneeling beside me on the bed. He caressed my face tracing beneath my eyes. I knew there were dark circles there. He laid down beside me then gathered me against him holding me close. A contented sigh escaped him. Chakotay held me that way until I slept.

Although I awoke alone, Chakotay was never far from me. I often wondered what he saw in my eyes. His were so emotional when he looked at me and he spoke so little. But I knew what was on his mind. The Commander was going to protect me for a time, and it was clear that he wasn’t taking no from me. Or was it that he sensed that I was still fragile? Whatever it was, I let him take on the brunt of Bridge duties for a few days. I let him see to my meals, I let him put me to bed and hold me through the night.

It was nice to yield to him for a time. Chakotay was a deep well of strength. I always knew it... felt it beside him on the Bridge. But this was a side of the Commander that was triggered when he saw me in the sacred caves. I needed that from him. It was a warm safe place to reconcile what I had learned with who I am.

After three days, I woke up feeling stronger. As usual, my stirring awoke him.

"You’re back," he said.

"For the most part," I said. "Some of my files have been reconfigured."

He smiled at that.

"I don’t know what it means," I replied.

"You will in time," he said. "I will help you."

At that point the metaphysical couldn’t have been farther from my mind. I was rested and my body felt an old twinge. It was made more intense with his naked body pressed against my side.

"Help me now," I said wickedly. "I have a burning issue deep inside."

"You’re back," he sighed.

I moaned involuntarily as the Commander’s lips covered mine. His tongue delved into my mouth as his body covered mine. The he-man role continued. I was, to put it in flowery terms, ravished by him very thoroughly.

Chakotay satisfied my immediate need, but there was another one awakening. The Mistress had been gone far too long. When the Commander left me to get dressed, I included some pieces of The Outfit.

My senses were heightened to all things physical. For a while I knew that the cerebral would be left far behind. I was also in tune with my Circle again. Paris snapped to when he heard my voice. I looked at him intently as he gave his report. He looked tired and slightly stressed. I agitated him because he knew I had on part of The Outfit. The corset changed my posture slightly. He flushed under my gaze, but held his composure.

Kim’s ear’s turned red when he talked to me, but his eyes were dancing with delight. He licked his lips and smiled a small smile. I lifted a cautionary brow at him and gave him a message on his notepad that Tom needed help to cope.

They were ready. I watched their bodies move during that shift. They were aware of my every move and responded to my nearness. I enjoyed that. I admit to taunting them though not as much as I could have and planned to very soon. For the moment though, I had other plans for some in my Circle.

Torres brought the luscious Ensign at the appointed hour. She entered with her eyes closed and was helmeted the moment she entered. Torres stripped her immediately and I hung her from the ceiling. Her toes were touching the floor. She was quite lovely that way. I proceeded from there to tie Torres down spread eagle on the bed.

"I don’t mean to be disrespectful, Mistress, but shouldn’t you take it easy your first time out in a while," she said.

I grabbed her by the hair then licked her lips. I tugged at her lower lip gently before kissing her. I felt the resistance leave her body as she responded.

"You want what I can give you, B’Elanna. You will always want it," I whispered in her ear. "Just as I will always crave the lash of my Mistress and the Ensign will crave you. But first, shall I put her through her paces?"

"Yes, Mistress..."

"Does she know who I am, yet?" I asked.

"No, Mistress."

I considered the girl trembling slightly before me. "I think she may surprise you," I said.

"When I turn on the audio, ask her."

Torres nodded, but she still looked doubtful. I kissed her again. Then, I approached the Ensign and turned on the audio.

"Who is my Mistress, slave?" Torres asked. "Tell me, now!"

"Your Mistress is Janeway, my Mistress," she whispered.

I tilted her bowed head up with the end of my whip. "And how did you know this, my girl?"

"It could be no one else," she said.

"Very clever," I said. "Now, let me see how clever you are at obeying me."

I placed little silken noose on each of her nipples. At he end of each ribbon was a gold hook. Onto that I placed a little weight which tightened the noose. That got her attention. I lowered her a little so that her feet were flat on the floor.

"You’ll need your balance pet," I said. "I don’t want to rip your arms out of their sockets."

"Thank you, Mistress," She whispered.

"Let’s see you tolerate my favorite play things," I said.

I proceeded to paddle her lush rounded ass with varying degrees of force. As I had noted in the tape, she had a high tolerance for pain.

"Don’t you dare come, sweetness," I whispered. She was enjoying herself. I added a little weight to her nipples making her wince.

I picked up my cat o’nine tales and considered her reddened quivering cheeks then had a better idea. I lubricated the end of it and her anus, then gently inserted it.

"Play pony for me sweetness," I said. "Don’t you dare drop it."

"Yes, Mistress,"

Torres was soaking wet when I settled beside her to check. I absently fiddled with her clit and watched her rising arousal.

"What to do with you?" I wondered.

"God, anything!"

"My beautiful B’Elanna. Your skin is so lovely, so responsive," I purred. "Let me see how responsive."

I took out my clit whip. Torres moaned softly in anticipation. I worked my way up and down her inner thighs smacking her creamy skin hard enough for sound. Torres gasped as I moved closer to her hyper sensitive clit. Her legs were red and warm. I left her there for a moment to put on the harness and the double phallic attachment.

I went after her clit with deftly delivered smacks. Torres was losing it entirely. I stripped her leg restraints and pushed her knees up to her shoulders. I lubricated the attachment then worked both heads into her. When she wrapped her legs around me, I began to fuck her hard. I gave her a hard long pounding while torturing her lovely nipples and she took it all and loved it. When she came, it was with a growl and a shout.

B’Elanna lay there and breathed deeply.

"Welcome back, Mistress," Torres said. Between breaths I petted her hair. "I ‘m glad to be back."

"Now, what?"

I nodded toward the Ensign. "Now we ride the pony."

Torres gave me a wicked smirk. We let her down and put her on her knees.

"You’ve done well, pretty pony." Torres said. She removed the whip and put on her harness with the formidable attachment.

"She must have been very good," I said drily.

"You will please the Mistress orally," Torres said.

"Yes, Mistress," The Ensign said.

Torres lowered the Ensign’s head between my legs as I sat on the edge of the bed. She latched onto my muff with a voracious intensity. I inhaled sharply and leaned back. Torres plunged inside the Ensign from behind, but that barely slowed her down. She had a very talented tongue and a great set of lips. She sucked and licked and nipped at me until I began to quake with coming. I was vaguely aware of the wench coming herself.

Afterward, Torres dismissed the Ensign. We got ready to sleep.

"The absence has heightened the Mistress’... imagination," Torres said.

"I’ve spent a lot of time with Barrows," I replied.

"Thank her for me," Torres said as she drifted off.


"Goodnight, B’Elanna,"

I needed my rest. The boys were on the menu tomorrow.

I was watching them when they came onto the Bridge. Somewhere, my dear Paris had found rest and a lot more calm. I wondered where he’d found release. My gaze shifted to Mr. Kim who blushed brilliantly under my eyes. Interesting, I thought. My crotch moistened appreciatively at the image. I wanted to know how it happened. And the dear boys were going to tell me, although I hoped to have to wring it out of them slowly.

The summons was to the Holodeck. I awaited them on the throne. The moment they entered, four attendants seized, stripped and collared them.

"Don’t fight it," I said.

Once naked they were brought before me and forced to kneel. They were magnificent: fair and tawny both finely muscled. Blond and dark.

"Chain them to the pole," I said quietly.

"We need to re-establish control, don’t we gentlemen?" I said. "You’ve been running amok, haven’t you?"

"Mistress?" Kim asked.

"All in good time," I said. I rose and walked to them, dragging the small bullwhip behind me. I cracked it in the space between the pillars. They were both quite alert watching me with a mix of fear and fascination.

"That’s right, sweeties, worry." I said. "Well, Mr. Kim. While I reacquaint myself with Tom’s best asset, I want you to watch very carefully."

I walked behind him and massaged his ass. He was immediately erect.

"And just to keep your attention...." I took out a snug fitting cock ring and slid it over his erection before stroking it appreciatively.

"That’s it. I want you at full attention."

I walked back to the space between the pillars and looked at them intently.

"Now, how did this delicious turn of events happen between you two?" I asked quietly.

They both looked startled. Then they turned red.

"Permission to speak, Mistress," Kim asked breathlessly.


"I... did a log entry for you," Kim whispered.

"Thank you. I’ll read it to make sure you’re accurate." I replied. "But I want to see everything you did..."

"See?" Tom asked. He was incredulous.

"From the beginning." I said. "I want every detail that you can recall."

They were silent. Good. I was hoping that they wouldn’t make it easy.

"Let me guess," I said. I moved to stand behind Paris. "Dear Tom was suffering from my mental abuse the other day and turned to you for comfort... no, there would have to be more than that. Kim would need to touch you in the course of that comfort. His touch is my undoing. That’s why he’s bound right now."

I carefully examined Tom’s back and saw the faint evidence of the bruising. I traced along the bruises.

"Tom did something unwise to himself and you had to fix him, so to speak," I said. It was apparent in their faces that I was right. "Perhaps you boys need a little incentive. I’ll help set the mood."

It was an enthusiastic whipping. Even after I healed him he would feel it in his muscles. I didn’t gag him this time, so Kim could hear him go through it. I paused for a moment and looked at them expectantly.

"Tom got beat up playing parrises squares," Harry said. He wouldn’t look at me. I brought him to the bath chamber...."

"Oooh," I thought. After healing the abrasions, I summoned the bath chamber.

Then I released them. I even removed the cock ring.

Harry led the confused Lieutenant into the water where he massaged Tom’s shoulders into relaxation. All the while, Paris’ blue eyes blazes at me with a mix of anger and lust. I did not soften. His Mistress would not disappoint him again.

They were adorable together and very stimulating. I liked to watch Kim’s hands on Tom’s fair skin -- the black hair next to the blonde as he leaned toward Tom’s ear to talk to him gently. I watched him massage the Lieutenant’s feet. Tom finally closed his eyes and let himself go. His face was beautiful in repose.

Harry made the tub go away. Tom laid still as the Ensign gently rubbed his skin dry.

How I wanted them, but I didn’t stop them. Tom wasn’t fighting anymore. He was anticipating what was to come. The boys dressed. Harry called for a sofa where the pair talked the way they did that night. It moved me. Then they were kissing having forgotten about me entirely. I watched them suck each other with abandon and relish. They were highly aroused. They were trying to hold on savoring the experience. I admired Harry. He swallowed without hesitation. I waited them to gain composure. Mine was barely in check. I went to them and kissed them both, thoroughly enjoying the taste of their cum.

"Thank you, Mistress," Kim said.

"Thank you," Tom said breathlessly.

"No, pets, Thank you for sharing with me. I feel privileged to share such a beautiful moment," I said "And it was beautiful."

I embraced them both. Tom grasped me with a poignant tenacity. I kissed him again then firmly disengaged. Kim held me tightly as well. So sweet as always.

"You boys clean up and get some rest," I said.

"Are you mine once more?"

"Always," Kim whispered.

"God, yes," Tom said.

Despite my intense arousal, I left them and returned to my quarters.

I was tired when I arrived, but far from wanting sleep. They tormented me with their innocence and desire. In another time and place I would have kept them for a couple of years in constant service to my needs and theirs. This was impossible, so I had to restrain myself.

My quarters were not empty when I returned. Chakotay awaited me.

"Hard day at the office?" He asked from my sofa.

"Impudent bastard," I whispered. "Then you should know I’m well sated."

"I know you wouldn’t let them... not this soon," he replied. "The Mistress must exact her vengeance."

"You think you know me so well."

"I know that if I took you now, you would melt around me," he said. He got off the sofa and walked toward me.

"You don’t know the Mistress that well," I said without real confidence.

"Don’t I? I’ve read everything you have written about her. She wouldn’t take them now, not yet. So she’ll still be hungry."

He was close to me. I could see the glint in his eyes. And his mouth... The Mistress wouldn’t yield.

Chakotay sensed it. He knelt before me and averted his eyes. "Let me please the Mistress. Let me give her release."

"Serve me, then," I whispered. "Take off my clothes, carefully."

Chakotay rose, then complied, he removed my dress then The Outfit carefully from my collar to my boots.

"Take me to my bed, then remove your clothes." I said.

I was scooped up into his strong arms for all to brief a time then deposited onto my bed. Chakotay stripped before me. Somehow, I was the one trembling when he finished. It seemed I was awash in yearning when he finished.

"Please Mistress," he whispered. "Let me..."

"Proceed," I sighed.

I was filled with him promptly. My mouth was assaulted by his tongue. My wet box was filled with him as well. He pounded me into blessed oblivion. The man could obey but the results were the same. I was taken out of myself and overwhelmed by this man once more.

The Mistress was back, and even the Commander knew it. I wondered how the metaphysical Janeway would fare against the hedonist. I wondered which Chakotay wanted more.

Ah, well, it wouldn’t be dull.

13a: Before We Continue...