Escape
by Nicole D'Annais

Pairing: Q/O

Rating: PG

Category: AU

Spoilers: Nope, not really, no.

Archive: Master and Apprentice, anyone else ask please

Summary: Complete and total silliness. The plot bunny ran around my head until I murdered him with this story. It's entirely based on a song--bonus points if you recognize the song, although you might be dating yourself. :)

Acknowledgments: Many, many thanks to Becky and Katy for the company and quick betas--and for encouraging my silliness!

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, much less these fine characters--although I own a couple of action figures of them, does that count? Probably not. Oh well, I refuse to make any money off them, and crave feedback as much as Obi-Wan craves Qui-Gon and vice versa.
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Obi-Wan flipped through the newsreader with a sigh born more of boredom than of any actual weariness. He glanced over at his former Master, hair strewn all over the pillow, mouth hanging open slightly, a light snoring sound indicating that he was, in fact, still breathing.

At least he shows some sign of life in his sleep, Obi-Wan thought darkly. He hoped that dark thoughts didn't lead to the Dark Side, but then at least that would be a change. Lately he and Qui-Gon had fallen into the same old dull routine. Everything--including sex--was done on a very strict schedule.

But Qui-Gon was the love of his life, so he supposed there was nothing to be done but bear it. With another heart-felt sigh, he turned back to the newsreader. One item on the menu caught his attention immediately--the Personals.

Checking to make sure Qui-Gon was still asleep, Obi-Wan chose the Personals and waited while they loaded onto the screen. There certainly were a lot of them. He hadn't realized just how many lonely souls there were out there. Maybe he should just be glad for what he had...

A loud snort mid-snore jerked Obi-Wan's attention away from the reader. He looked over at his lover, but the other man was still asleep. He had rolled over onto his back, his face half covered in hair, mouth open further, a string of saliva running from his lower lip to his pillow.

Obi-Wan shuddered and went back to the newsreader. He scanned the personal ads almost idly, not seriously looking for someone to meet, when an ad caught his eye.

If you like Razia Pinatas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not afraid of Yoda
If you have half a brain
If you like making love in the outdoors
In lagoons or in lakes
I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape.

Obi-Wan sighed again. Razia Pinatas had been his favorite drink, back when he'd been able to drink. Now it didn't fit into the schedule. And he remembered a time, not long after his trials, when he and Qui-Gon had made love in a lagoon and then a lake, while it was raining. Of course, now it was strictly in bed. On alternate Tuesdays. At 11:05 Standard Time. In the same position. Every time.

The ad had an automatic reply option. He glanced at Qui-Gon again. What could it hurt? It wasn't like he planned to leave the man for good. He just wanted a little fun, a change. "Variety is the spice of life," he muttered, then checked again to make sure he hadn't woken the other man.

He hit the reply option, and a second later a form popped up. He filled out the required username and password information, then set himself to writing his reply.

Five minutes later, he read what he'd keyed in.

Yes I like Razia Pinatas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into feeling fear
Haven't been since I trained
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Ryskakicki
Where we'll plan our escape.

He thought it wasn't half-bad. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he pressed the key to send. A moment later, the whole thing was gone, and he glanced at his former Master again, wondering what he'd done, but too excited to worry much about it. The Force made him do it. Who was he to question the will of the Force?

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Obi-Wan sat at a table in the corner of O'Ryskakicki's Bar, unable to remain still. He fidgeted with his glass as he watched the door. A Jedi must remain calm, he reminded himself sternly. A Jedi must remain calm. A Jedi must remain-- He lost all concentration as he saw the one person he least expected walk in the room.

Maybe he won't see me, he thought. I hope he won't see me. He willed himself to be invisible, but it didn't do any good. Not with this man.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked in surprise as he neared the table.

"Hello," Obi-Wan said, pasting a smile on his face. "What brings you here? I thought you were usually in the gardens meditating at this hour."

"I decided to change my routine," Qui-Gon said, looking around the room. "And you? You're usually in the training rooms, sparring with students."

"I decided to give them a break and let them fight each other."

"Well, it would seem we both needed a change today."

Obi-Wan nodded, wishing the man would go away. He did not want Qui-Gon here when his mystery date arrived. "Were you planning to have a drink?" Or just looking for someone and leaving? Please?

"I had thought about it, yes." He frowned down at the glass in front of Obi-Wan and sniffed. "Razia Pinata? You haven't had one of those in ages."

"As you said, I needed a change."

Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed a fraction. "Yes, I believe I'll get a drink," he said finally, then headed for the bar.

Obi-Wan sighed, glad he had too much composure to bang his head on the table. Qui-Gon was back in no time. "May I sit down?"

"Of course." As if I have a choice? He stared down into his drink, hoping that Qui-Gon would get the hint.

He didn't. "So, are you planning to take the rest of the afternoon off from your normal routine as well?"

"I'm not sure."

"Really? No firm plans? That isn't like you."

No, it isn't like you.

"I didn't realize you felt that way," Qui-Gon replied conversationally, as if he hadn't just read Obi-Wan's thoughts without asking for permission, much less receiving it.

"I'll thank you to keep your Force powers out of my private thoughts." His former Master would have been very upset if someone had done that to him.

"Fine. Turnabout is fair play. Feel free to read mine at any time."

Obi-Wan searched into Qui-Gon's head, his thoughts plainly laid out for the younger man to see. //If you like Razia Pinatas, And getting caught in the rain, If you're not afraid of Yoda, If you have half a brain...//

"What...you know...waitananosecond--you?" He stared incredulously at Qui-Gon while the other man smiled and nodded. "You knew it was me?"

"Not until I saw what you were drinking, no."

"So you were going to just cast me aside because of some ridiculous schedule you set up?"

"I never set the schedule. It just...suddenly it was there one day."

Obi-Wan crossed his arms and cast narrowed-eyes on his lover--possibly former lover, depending on how this turned out. "But you were still going to cast me aside."

"And you were here just for the drinks?" Qui-Gon said, eyebrow arched.

"Well, no...okay, fine. Each of us was here to get rid of the other."

"I don't think that's it at all. I think we were here to get out of a routine."

Obi-Wan couldn't argue with that. "So what now?"

"Well...I hear there's a holographic imaging room nearby that has a jungle program. You can even program it to rain on all the lagoons."

One corner of Obi-Wan's mouth twitched upward. "And lakes?" Qui-Gon nodded, a smile in his eyes. "Now that sounds like a nice break from routine," Obi-Wan said as he stood. "Lead the way."

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