Bad
by Nicole D'Annais (ndannais@fbi-agent.com)

Homepage: http://adult.dencity.com/ndannais

Pairing: Q/O

Rating: PG

Category: Humor, Romance, Songfic Fluff

Archive: Master and Apprentice--anyone else ask please

Summary: Obi-Wan gets mad, then decides he'd rather be bad.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, much less these fine characters--although I own a couple of action figures of them, does that count? Probably not. Oh well, I refuse to make any money off them in any event, so please don't sue me.

Notes: Thanks to Becky for the quick beta!
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Obi-Wan Kenobi sat at the bar hunched over a half-empty glass of Alderaanian ale. He stared dejectedly down into the dark brown liquid as if searching for the answers to all his problems.

"It's not even like we argued," he told the green creature sitting next to him. She listened with feigned interest while secretly checking her chronometer every few minutes. "We were just talking, and I disagreed with a point he made. He told me it was unseemly for his Padawan to dispute him. Like I was supposed to know I had to be in Padawan mode in our own living room at night with no one else around?"

"Mmmmm," the green creature replied.

Obi-Wan downed the rest of his ale and held out the glass to the bartender. "Y'know, the first one was kind of bitter, the next two were a little better, but that one was really good. I bet the next one will be great." The bartender just shook his head and reached for the ale tap.

"So," Obi-Wan said, turning to the creature beside him, "I'm sorry, what was your name again?"

"Brahn."

"Right, Brahn. Where was I?"

"Pada-something living room night blah blah blah."

"Oh, right. So I told him maybe he should get me a time-keeping system so I can check in and out so I'll know when I'm supposed to be the dutiful Padawan and when I'm supposed to be his boyfriend. And do you know what he did?"

Brahn propped her elbow on the bar and leaned her head on her hand. "What?" she said around a yawn.

"He told me to grow up, and then he left!" Obi-Wan wailed. "He just left! So I came down here to forget all my troubles." He accepted the refilled glass of ale from the bartender and downed a large gulp.

"Well, kid, sounds like you're better off without him." Brahn stood up and stretched, all four of her arms raised high above her head.

"You're not leaving, are you?" He sniffed, wiping a tear from his eye.

She nodded. "Sorry, but my grandsire's in the hospital and I have to go check on him."

"At this time of night?"

"It's a special hospital. For nocturnal creatures."

"Oh. Well, I hope he gets better. And thanks for listening."

"Sure. Whatever. Good luck." She paid her bill and hurried off before he could realize her species was most definitely not nocturnal.

After Brahn had gone, Obi-Wan sat for a while, drinking more ale and wallowing in self-pity. He wasn't anxious to go back to his quarters at the Temple, in case Qui-Gon was there, and he wasn't sure what else one did besides go to a bar when one was in this sort of situation.
Did you get what you wanted
When you told me good bye
Did you get what you thought you needed
To make a grown man cry...

I've been good and kind, sweet and nice For way too long...

I'm gonna be bad And it's gonna feel good I'm gonna do everything your Master said we never should I'm gonna be bad I wanna do wrong You're gonna be every broken heart inside my every song

"That's it!" That was what he needed to do to get over this. Clearly he needed to be bad. No, not just bad. BAD. He downed the remainder of ale number seven and stood up, surveying the room. Not a large crowd, but enough people that he should be able to manage a little BADness.

He walked over to the jukebox and put in some credits, then chose the same song four times. As the song hit what he thought was a particularly sexy section, he went to the middle of the room and began moving with the music. He didn't have a lot of experience with dancing, but he found a rhythm somewhere between a sword kata and sex that seemed to work. At least if the reaction from several of the patrons was any indication.

A particularly cute blonde human was practically drooling as she watched him move. He swayed his way over to her table and crooked his finger at her. In an instant, she was standing in front of him, molding her back to his chest and moving in the same rhythm as he was.

Somehow they managed to maneuver themselves to the bar a few feet away, where Obi-Wan downed the full glass the bartender had left for him. Then they made their way back to their improvised dance floor and began moving as the song started again.

After a moment, Obi-Wan felt someone close behind him. He turned to see a male human. The other man joined in the dance, his chest brushing Obi-Wan's back. Obi-Wan gave himself over to the music, letting the lyrics wash through him.
Was it really as easy
As you made it seem
I never heard you raise your voice
I never heard me scream

But when you tuck yourself in bed at night
And read a book alone by candlelight
Do you wonder what
I just might be getting into?

Obi-Wan imagined Qui-Gon, sitting on the couch, reading a datapad and wondering where his Padawan/boyfriend had gone off to. Would he be worried? Or just contemplating punishment. If his punishment involved extra work-outs, he could just forget it, Obi-Wan thought. It was his own fault, after all.
I'm gonna be bad
I wanna be cruel
I'm gonna try everything
They taught me down in Jedi School

The music ended, and Obi-Wan went back to the bar for another drink. "This is really good drink," he told the bartender with a grin. After gulping the whole thing, he sat the glass down on the bar with a loud thump. The song had started again. He really liked this song. The lyrics were so...found. No...profound. That was it. He vaguely remembered enjoying the song when Bant played it over and over for about a week, but now he really understood the pain the singer was going through.

In fact, he and the singer had a lot in common. That thought in mind, he started to sing along--softly at first, then with more volume as the bar patrons began to cheer him on.

By the time he got to the last round of the chorus, he was standing on the bar, singing at the top of his lungs. He turned to sing to the bartender.
Cause if you wanna see the brand new me
Just look at the brand new you....

He turned to the play the crowd, pointing in an exaggerated movement as he sang that last line, and was surprised when his finger encountered the top of his Master's head.

Undaunted, he sat on the bar and sang the last lines to Qui-Gon himself.
I'm gonna be bad...

Everytime I think about you
Everytime I think about you
I'm gonna be bad....

He punctuated each 'you' with a tap to Qui-Gon's nose. As the song faded out, most of the customers stood, applauding and cheering. Obi-Wan jumped off the bar to take a bow, but the jump knocked him off balance, and he fell over. Only Qui-Gon's waiting arms kept him from hitting the floor.

Obi-Wan looked up at his Master. "You left. You just walked out. So I'm being bad."

Qui-Gon's lips twitched. "I can see that. And we'll both be paying for it later."

"Oh, no, Master, I already paid the bar tab."

"Yes, Obi-Wan. Let's get you back to the Temple, shall we?"

"But Master, the song is on again. I wanna be BAD."

Qui-Gon picked him up. "I think you've been bad enough for one evening."

"But...." Suddenly, Obi-Wan paled. "I think you might be right. I certainly feel bad." he said, just before he passed out.

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Obi-Wan woke with a bantha sitting on his head. He opened his eyes, but the bantha was apparently invisible. Or perhaps it was just the side effects of last night's drinking, and not actually a bantha at all. "How do you feel?"

He winced at his master's words, even though they didn't really seem to be that loud. "Bad."

Qui-Gon laughed softly. "Here," he said, joining his padawan on the bed. He put his hands on Obi-Wan's forehead, and after a moment, the pain began to receed.

"Oh...thank you. I had no idea ale was so strong."

"It's not. How much did you drink?"

"I don't know. I think I lost count around seven or eight."

With a sigh, Qui-Gon shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"For starters, don't walk out like that."

"I'm sorry," he said instantly, all trace of amusement gone. "It was the wrong way to handle that situation. Apparently I still have some adjusting to do when it comes to balancing the two sides of our relationship."

Obi-Wan blinked. "Did you just admit you were wrong about something?"

"I believe I did."

"Does the Council know? Perhaps they need to have a special meeting to discuss this auspicious event."

His master frowned, then smiled reluctantly. "What am I going to do with you?" he said again.

"I know the answer to that one."

"You do?"

Obi-Wan nodded and reached a hand up behind Qui-Gon's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. When their lips were almost touching, he stopped long enough to say one last thing. "Teach me how to be really bad."

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