7677 words
10/4/2005

Chapter 1

Yuki took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes irritably. Glancing at the clock on the computer screen, he saw it was almost time for Shuichi’s concert to begin. He took a break from writing, went out to the kitchen to grab a beer, and planted himself in front of the TV. Flicking a few buttons on the remote and TiVo, he prepared himself for the oddity that was watching Shuichi on TV and not being able to see him in person.

Shuichi had wanted him to go on tour with him, but the concert scene wasn’t something he was interested in. He looked around the immaculate room and once again felt that emptiness that came whenever Shuichi wasn’t home. Yuki comforted himself with the thought that this was the last tour date. Tomorrow night he would be home.

He turned his phone back on, remembering that he’d turn it off so he could work in peace. Yuki raised an eyebrow as instead of the show a news bulletin came on.

“Tonight thousands of Bad Luck fans await word on their favorite band. The scene you see behind me is the concert hall where Bad Luck was scheduled to appear. According to Seguchi Tohma, CEO of N-G records…�

The phone rang and Eiri picked it up wondering when he’d begun to shake.

“Eiri-san.� It was Tohma.

“Where is he?� Eiri snapped.

“I’m sending a chopper for you. It should be there in ten minutes.� Tohma continued on, sounding strained.

“Damn it! What the hell is going on?� Eiri yelled, fear starting to grip him.

“There was an accident. The tour bus was hit by a truck. He was the only one standing and was thrown to front of the bus, hitting the windshield. His parents are already here.�

Eiri couldn’t breathe. “Shuichi.�

“He’s alive Eiri-san, but… it’s bad. I’ve been trying to reach you for a while.� Eiri heard the chopper and ran out the door, shutting the phone and tossing it in his coat pocket without thinking twice about it.

Eiri felt disoriented as he rode the corporate chopper to the hospital. He’d never been so worried about his pink-haired lover as he was right now. It had scared him when corporate raiders had taken Shuichi to American, but it was nothing compared to this.

Flashes of his time with Shuichi went through his mind: sleepy kisses in the morning, being serenaded by the tenor as he showered, late night dinners, sleeping in Shuichi’s lap and all the times they’d had sex…no it was more than that. It had been more than just sex for a long time. Shuichi had slowly become his obsession, which in turn had become his undoing.

As the chopper landed on top of the hospital Eiri saw K waiting for him. K only looked at him, nodded, then ran with Eiri hot on his heels. They dashed through the crowded hospital, stopping at the ICU. Finally K turned to him and spoke. “They are about to take him into surgery, make it quick.�

Eiri nodded, glimpsing for a second at Shuichi’s family huddled in the hallway. He stopped as he entered. Shuichi was pale, covered in cuts and had more tubes in him than Eiri had ever seen a person have. He gathered his nerve and walked to Shuichi’s side. A nurse and doctor were readying him, only casting a sympathetic look in his direction. Eiri took one of Shuichi’s hands in his. His throat constricted as his heart screamed.

He leaned over to whisper in Shuichi’s ear. “I’m here Shuichi. Don’t leave me baka. I can’t live without you.� He was about to say he loved him when the doctor loudly declared it was time. Eiri was shoved out of the way and Shuichi was rolled out the doors hurriedly.

Eiri sank into a chair, looking at the spot where Shuichi had just been. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but did not look up. Tears that he didn’t want anyone to see ran unbidden down his cheeks.

“I’m glad you came. It will mean a lot to him. Thank you.�

“What… How…Why?� Eiri whispered, hearing his shaky voice.

Hiro looked down, amazed to see the tears on the face of Yuki Eiri. “The doctors say there’s swelling on the brain and the spine. He could have loss of memory, speech and motor functions. It depends how it goes.� Hiro sat down next to Eiri. “One minute we were laughing and talking, Shuichi stood up to get a drink, and then everything fell over. Everyone was screaming, but Shuichi had gone flying and hit the front windshield. He… he didn’t move. I thought…�Hiro wiped away a few tears. “They say the truck driver hadn’t had enough sleep.�

Hiro left and then Eiri followed him, not knowing what else to do. He was introduced Shuichi’s sister and father. His mother took one look at him and fell into his arms crying. Eiri was too numb to care. K pulled him away and pressed a cup of coffee into his hands. Then they waited and waited, and waited some more. It was interminable.

The entire time Eiri reviewed every minute of his life with Shuichi. Finally, he spoke relating one of those times. “I remember one time I tried to teach him to cook for that stupid game show. He is hopeless in the kitchen. I ran out of bandages.�

Mrs. Shindou smiled. “I tried so hard to teach him to cook. But only his sister could cook.�

“Oh yes, the best cookies around,� Hiro put in with a sad smile. From that point on they shared little bits and pieces of Shuichi. Eiri learned more about his lover in those hours than he had in all their time together. The oddly assembled group began to slowly bond. It was while they were hearing about the time Shuichi had managed to glue himself to the toilet naked, that the doctor appeared.

He was a middle aged man with a strong physique. Reaching up he took off his mask. It was then that Eiri saw the exhaustion on the careworn face. “Shindou family?�

“Yes,� Shuichi’s father spoke for the first time, holding tightly onto his wife.

Chapter 2

“He survived the surgery.� A collective sigh of relief was heard in the waiting room. “He’s a very strong young man, a real fighter. We moved him to recovery. There isn’t a lot we can tell right now. It will be at least 24 hours until he can have visitors and we can run some tests. I suggest that until then you all go home and get some rest. He’s going to need as much support as possible for the road ahead.�

Mrs. Shindou bowed several times and Mr. Shindou shook his hand heartily, while the others offered their thanks. Eiri felt a bit of the fugue of the last few hours lift as he arranged for a hotel room near the hospital. Suddenly, Tohma appeared to explain he’d already arranged for it, as well as transportation for them all.

Eiri thanked his brother-in-law on the way over to the hotel. Tohma tried to talk him, but Eiri was simply numb. Concerned about him, Tohma kept pushing.

“It’s not good to keep it bottled up inside Eiri-san.� Tohma continued.

“Have you ever wished you could go back in time?�

“What do you mean?�

“I made a lot of mistakes with Shuichi. From the moment I met him all I did was hurt him.�

“Eiri…�

“No, really, I always hurt him. But he never stopped loving me, not once. No matter what I did, he never stopped believing in me, even when I told him he was a zero talent. He really loved me. I…�

Tohma pulled Eiri into his arms as he began to cry.

“I don’t know if I can be there for him like he was for me. Shuichi is everything to me. I can’t lose him now, not like this.�

It was late at night when Tohma returned to his room. He fell exhausted into his wife’s arms. “How is he?� She asked stroking his hair.

Tohma sighed. “If Shuichi doesn’t pull through, we will lose them both.�

*

Eiri, though usually one to sleep in, was the first one at Shuichi’s side the next morning. Mrs. Shindou was next. She sat quietly beside the novelist.

“I realized these past few hours that I can’t turn back time. Shuichi put up with so much from me. I think he had a vision of what he wanted me to be, but I was too busy protecting myself from the world.�

“My son has always loved freely. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that. He told me about what happened to you. No one should have to go through what you did. But you’ve risen above that and made many people very happy with your writing.�

“It’s just a job.� Eiri assured her.

“No, it’s more than that. Shuichi read all of your books once you started seeing him. Did you know that?�

Eiri’s open-mouthed gape was her answer. She almost laughed, but instantly sobered at the thought of her son. “Why?�

She smiled sadly at him. “Because he knew that in those books was the real Eiri-san. Deep down you know that. You’ve hidden your softer side within those pages. That’s why you have so many readers. And that’s why so many love you, just like he does.�

A doctor came in and started to examine Shuichi. Though normally stoic, Eiri found he was holding on to Mrs. Shindou almost as hard as she was holding him. They held their breath as the doctor removed the sheet from Shuichi’s feet. He looked at them both, then ran a needle up Shuichi’s bare foot. There was no reaction. Taking a deep breath, the doctor did it a bit harder. This time the toes twitched. He repeated it on the other side as Shuichi’s mother cried with joy. The toes moved on the first try.

The doctor smiled happily at them. “I think he’ll be dancing in no time.�

“That’s good. I’m tired of dancing alone.� Eiri snapped but a huge smile was on his face. He kissed Mrs. Shindou’s head as she wrapped her arms around him. There were no other news that day, but it was enough to renew their hope.

*

By the end of the first week, Shuichi was taken off the respirator. After the second week, the doctors announced the swelling around his brain had gone down. Nervously, the waiting for Shuichi to regain consciousness continued.

The hospital room was flooded with flowers, cards and gifts from fans. Swarms of fans waited patiently outside of N-G for news, as well as at the hospital. Eiri’s editors were trying to be patient, but the author knew he’d soon have to return to work. Both of Shuichi’s band mates had been sent back to the studio to lay down tracks. Just when the world was started to suffocate them, something happened.

Eiri had fallen asleep holding Shuichi’s hand. He’d been trying to spend as much time as possible with him before he’d have to get back to writing. Eiri woke to a sound he couldn’t place. He woke groggily, running a hand through his unkempt hair and tried to discern what had woken him.

Then he realized Shuichi was making the sounds. He was moaning! Eiri kissed his forehead and ran into the hall for a nurse. When he came back in the room Shuichi was starting to open his eyes. Eiri could taste the saline in his smile but didn’t care. The medical staff ran in and within a few hours Shuichi was moved to a regular room, having regained full consciousness.

Eiri walked in with the Shindou family, having bonded with them over the weeks of waiting and praying. Shuichi was propped up on several pillows and smiled at them all. His mother ran forward cradling him in her arms; his sister was next then his father. They fussed and fawned all over him.

Then Eiri stepped forward and Shuichi looked up at him. Eiri leaned down and kissed his forehead before he noticed the Shindou family had quietly and discretely left the room. With a smile, he leaned over once more and gently kissed his lover for the first time in weeks.

Chapter 3

“Hey, how do you feel?� Eiri asked softly, sitting beside Shuichi on the bed, carefully.

“Tired, what happened?� Shuichi’s voice sounded scratchy and dry, so Eiri handed him the water that was at his bedside table.

“Your tour bus got hit by a truck, weeks ago. You’ve been here ever since.�

“WEEKS!� Shuichi yelled. “But the band, the tour…�

“The band has been laying down tracks waiting for you to get better. Your fans have been sending you flowers, gifts and prayer cards. They’ll be happy to see you are better. I…I know I am.�

Shuichi yawned. “You missed me?�

“Of course I did. I’ve been here everyday.� Shuichi smiled at this, yawned and almost fell back to sleep.

The door swung open and a cheerful young man stuck his head inside. “Mr. Shindou, I hear you’re awake. I’m your physical therapist, Dr. Tanaka. I need to do a few tests on you, but, oh, I see you have company.�

“It’s okay. I’d like to see how he does. But he’s very sleepy,� Eiri replied.

“Oh well, that’s understandable. This won’t take long,� Eiri and the therapist helped Shuichi sit up a bit better, then the therapist handed Shuichi a round ball. “Please squeeze this for me.� The man nodded and made a notation on his clipboard. Shuichi tried with the other hand with the same results. The man seemed pleased.

“Are you awake enough to try to stand?� Shuichi nodded. Eiri put Shuichi’s arm around him mirroring the doctor’s actions. With help Shuichi could stand but without it he went down like a ton of bricks. Eiri scooped him off the floor and laid the shaken singer back in bed.

Dr. Tanaka smiled. “Well, it looks like we will be spending more time together. I want you to have physical therapy 3 times a day, every day. Then after you are released you will have to continue to see me every day for a few weeks and you will have exercises to do at home. Will someone be there to assist you with them?�

“I will,� Eiri put in quickly.

“Excellent. We will have you walking again in no time. Your muscles have gotten weak from being in bed so long. I’m sure you’ll be dancing across that stage again in no time.� The young doctor smiled reassuringly at Shuichi.

Eiri was surprised to find he was feeling rather jealous about it. He shook it off mentally.

“Sensei, when can I go home?� Shuichi asked hopefully.

“A week or two I’d imagine. It depends on how you do in therapy and what your doctor has to say. Now, if you’ll excuse me I better go find him right now.� With a small bow the doctor left the two men alone. Eiri could hear the Shindou family accosting him in the hall, but he turned his attention back to Shuichi.

“I don’t want to be a bother Yuki. I can stay with my parents until I’m better.� Shuichi looked ready to cry.

Eiri cupped his face in his hands. “If I need their help I can call them. You should be home, with me.� Shuichi threw himself into his lover’s arms and cried happily. Eiri made sure Shuichi didn’t see the smile on his face. To cover up his sappiness he added,� Besides if you don’t come home that numbskull brother of mine might get the bright idea to move in to be closer to Ryuichi.� From within his arms Shuichi continued to smile, knowing it was a cover up.

There was another knock at the door and a very harried looking woman came in and bowed deeply, flushing at having two celebrities in the room. “Excuse me, but there are many of your fans that have been in our lobby and parking lot for many weeks now. Since you are awake could you please make an appearance so they will go away?�

Eiri chuckled. “It might make the crowds worse.�

The woman looked ready to faint, which wasn’t saying much since she looked afraid of her own shadow to begin with. Shuichi looked at the petite woman and felt instantly sorry for what he’d evidently put the hospital through. “Sure, just set it up.�

“You’re pushing yourself. At least rest first,� Eiri said with a concerned snap in his voice. It only made Shuichi smile more.

“Okay, let me rest while you set it up for later,� Shuichi smiled at Eiri then at the petite frail looking woman.

“OH thank you!!� she bowed out of the room and scurried off.

“I better let you rest.� Eiri said leaning down to give Shuichi another kiss.

“Will you be here later?� Shuichi asked grabbing weakly at Eiri’s jacket.

“Yes, I have a hotel right next to the hospital.�

Shuichi gasped. “You’ve been staying at a hotel for weeks? But, that’s so expensive!�

“Tohma picked up the bill for your family and me to stay there. You’re worth millions, remember?�

“Millions of what?� Shuichi asked in apparent confusion.

“Dollars, yen, whatever, baka,� Eiri answered wondering if his lover was having a little joke at his expense.

“Why?� Shuichi asked.

“What do you mean ‘why’? Because of your record sales.�

“What record sales?� Shuichi yawned. Eiri was getting alarmed.

“Are you okay?� Eiri asked.

“I think so, I just feel tired,� Shuichi replied.

Eiri stroked his hair,� Get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.�

Shuichi nodded, wiggled into his blanket and quickly fell asleep. Eiri kissed his forehead then shot out of the room to find the doctor. The Shindou family upon seeing his face was instantly alarmed. Mr. Shindou hugged his family before quickly following him. He arrived only a minute after Eiri, so he caught the conversation already underway.

“…but I’m telling you something is wrong! It was like he forgot who he was, that he was a famous singer! He was fine for a few minutes then suddenly he couldn’t remember!� Eiri felt Mr. Shindou’s beefy hand when it touched his shoulder. He looked over and nodded in recognition.

Both men turned to Dr. Zakawa in concern. The doctor was frowning. “I’ll order some more tests to be run. It could be from the swelling he had, that there’s some short term memory loss. I really don’t want to make any assumptions until the test are run, excuse me.�

Eiri lowered his head then turned to Mr. Shindou. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop to tell you…�

Mr. Shindou raised his hand. “There is nothing to apologize for; you did the right thing by looking out for Shuichi first.�

Eiri gave a small nod of gratitude. Mr. Shindou tilted his head slightly. “You love him.�

It was not a question, but Eiri nodded again anyway, “Hai.�

“Good, I did not want to bloody my sword,� Mr. Shindou replied. Eiri looked at him with alarm. Mr. Shindou gestured that they should walk back, and all the way Eiri wondered if the old man had been serious or not.

Chapter 4

When Shuichi woke next, it was to see his sister Mikai by his bed.

“Did you bring cookies?� he asked hopefully.

“No, but I get to help you pick out some clothes for you to meet your fans in. After all, we can’t have you seeing them in a hospital gown, can we?�

“You are so silly. If mom and dad want me dressed the next time they see me, why not just say so?� Shuichi winked at his sister.

“I think your fans would like you dressed too. All you need to do is make a small appearance and wave,� declared Tohma Seguchi as he entered the room with a smile and armful of flowers.

“Seguchi Tohma!� Shuichi yelled. “What are you doing here?�

“Knock it off Shuichi, you’re scaring me,� Mikai bit her lip.

“Mikai! Do you realize who this is? Where’s my audition tape?� Shuichi looked around the room as Tohma and Mikai looked at each other with concern.

Tohma started to laugh. “I see. You are having some fun at my expense. Very funny Shuichi-san. Did Yuki Eiri put you up to this?�

“You know Yuki?� Shuichi gasped in surprise.

Mikai started to cry and ran out of the room. Tohma put his hands on his hips. “This isn’t funny anymore, Shuichi! You’ve scared your sister half to death! Now, quit kidding around and get ready for your fans to see you!�

“What are you talking about?!� Shuichi yelled before he passed out. Tohma ran to the door and called for help. Eiri was just returning from having a cigarette when he saw the medical staff running for Shuichi’s room and Mikai crying in the hall.

He ran to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. “What’s happened?�

“Shuichi doesn’t …sniff…remember Tohma or his fans!� She sobbed.

“Shh, we can’t let the word get out yet. Where’s Tohma?� Eiri whispered while sitting Mikai down in a chair.

“In with Shuichi,� Eiri turned his head and saw the confused look on his brother-in-law’s face as he exited his lover’s hospital room.

“Tohma-san, if I had known you were coming I would have warned you,� Eiri said quietly.

“You didn’t think I needed to be told that my top lead singer doesn’t remember that he is just that, my top lead singer?!� Tohma growled.

Mikai cried even more into Yuki’s shirt. With a sigh, he put his arm around the young girl to try to calm her, remembering it would be what Shuichi would want him to do. Tohma’s mouth dropped open. He put a hand out so he could lean heavily against the wall. “First Shuichi’s memory loss, and now you’re being human? You’re acting like the old Eiri-san.�

Eiri shrugged, wiping his own tears on Mikai’s hair. Tohma sagged into a chair next to them. “I must be imagining things, this isn’t you.�

Mikai sat up indignantly. “You are not imagining things. Yuki-san has been wonderful to Shuichi and my family. He’s a sweet wonderful man who loves my brother very much. You take that back!�

Tohma blinked. He wasn’t used to getting dressed down, much less by kids in school. He gave a small bow. “Gomen nasai.�

Mikai gave a small humph and went to go ask a nurse how her brother was doing. Tohma took off his hat and rubbed his hair. “Eiri this is a huge problem. What did the doctors say?�

“They ordered some tests to be run.� Eiri said quietly putting his head in his hands.

“Eiri?�

“I’m so grateful the little baka remembers me. I…I can’t lose him again.� Eiri sniffed.

Tohma sat back. “So it has happened then. You finally came back, but it was not me who did it.�

“What are you blathering on about?� Eiri snapped, staring defiantly at Tohma.

“You had a breakthrough in therapy didn’t you?�

Eiri harrumphed. “So the twit tells me. But look at me Tohma, is it normal for me to fall apart like this?�

“It is not normal for Yuki Eiri. But it is normal for the old Eiri because he had a heart and wasn’t afraid to show his feelings or love for anyone. Even those that didn’t deserve it, so isn’t it high time you stopped going by that ridiculous pen name and went by Eiri?� Tohma smiled gently as he wiped away Eiri’s tears, shaken to see this about face.

“I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted to put it all behind me,� Eiri ran a hand through his hair.

“Then get on with your life with Shuichi-san. He needs you now.� Tohma bit back the pain that statement caused. There was a time when he was what Eiri needed. But that had all changed. Shuichi had been able to break down the walls that Eiri had placed around his heart in a way that he never could.

Eiri gave a half-laugh, “You want me to be with him now? Can I get this in writing before you change your mind again?�

“I deserve that. But at the time, I was concerned only for your health. I may never understand how the two of you came to be, but it doesn’t matter now. I love you. I always will love you. But only Shuichi can love you enough to bring the real you back to all of us. I missed you Eiri.�

“You sound sappier than my books. Maybe I should write that crap down.� Eiri scoffed.

Tohma smiled, got up and put on his hat. “I will make the press statement for Shuichi. Is there anything else I need to know?�

“Yeah, Hiro doesn’t know yet, none of them do. Only his father, the doctor and I knew up to this point.� Tohma nodded in understanding. “He has to undergo physical therapy because he’s been in the bed for too long.�

“I understand, so will his fans. I’ve never managed a comeback before; he will be more popular than ever, if…�

“Don’t say it. He loves his music. When I asked him if his music meant more to him than I did, he had to explain to me that we tie for first place and can’t be compared. But you’ve seen how he comes alive on stage. We have to get him to remember no matter what it takes.�

Chapter 5

Shuichi had been awake for some time and was bored. He began to flip through the television channels when he noticed a familiar looking man. Setting the remote aside he watched curiously to see what the head of N-G records was doing on TV.

The metro sexual blond stood in front of a podium and gave a warm smile. The reporters quieted down to hear what he had to say. Tohma waited until they were seated before he began.

“Hello members of the press, fans and friends. I will make this brief. Shindou Shuichi is now awake. His status has been upgraded but he has a long road to haul until he is fully recovered. He will be going through physical therapy because of the length of time he has been abed. We expect a full recovery. He is very grateful to his fans for the unswerving devotion and numerous gifts, cards and prayer cards he received. There is, however, no need to gather around to wait. We don’t want Shindou san to be pushing himself unduly for his fans. Bad Luck will be back in action before you know it. Arigatou!�

The reporters jumped up clamoring to try to get Tohma to answer a question. But he merely smiled and waved at them. He quickly exited the room and the conference was ended. Shuichi shut off the TV.

Putting his arms around his pillow, he curled up around it. According to Seguchi there were fans concerned about him. What was going on? Why couldn’t he remember? What was “Bad Luck�? Hadn’t Mikai said he had to get dressed for his fans? Was he supposed to be at that press conference? Hadn’t Eiri said something about a band too?

Eiri walked in to see Shuichi, glad to see he was awake. “Hey, how do you feel squirt?�

Shuichi’s lower lip trembled and his eyes watered. Eiri knew the signs, he was about to have a very wet shirt. “Who am I?� Shuichi asked then began to bawl.

With a sigh Eiri lowered himself to the side of the bed and gathered Shuichi into his arms. “Who do you think you are?�

“Please Yuki how did I get here?� Shuichi wailed in between sobs.

Eiri had thought he was scared before, but he was more scared now. It seemed that Shuichi was forgetting more and more. “You were in a bus accident.�

“Was I the only one hurt?� Shuichi asked with concern.

“There were some bruises, cuts and scratches, but you were hurt the worst.� Eiri kissed his forehead. “Hiro was with you. I just talked with him on the phone. He’s going to come visit you.�

Shuichi nodded, but Eiri knew something else was wrong. “Yuki, I’m scared. Something is really wrong. Everyone else can see it, but I can’t. You’re afraid to tell me aren’t you? But there’s something more, I just know it. Seguchi Tohma just made a press statement about ME! Who am I?�

Grabbing the front of his shirt Shuichi began to shake Yuki. “WHO AM I? WHY WON’T ANYONE TELL ME? WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER?�

Dr. Zakawaka walked in hurriedly, “Now, now this is a hospital Mr. Shindou!�

“Doctor, Shuichi is just upset that he can’t remember everything,� Eiri explained.

“Yes, yes, that’s why I’m here. I’d like to talk to you Mr. Shindou.�

“I want Yuki to hear it too,� Shuichi pleaded hearing the dismissal in the doctor’s voice.

The doctor nodded, and then clutched his clipboard to his chest. “Do you remember how we ran those tests Mr. Shindou?�

“Yes.� Shuichi answered nervously and Eiri put his arm around him.

Taking a deep breath the doctor plunged forward. “You suffered a severe head trauma. And unless I’m wrong, you were under a great deal of stress before hand?� He looked to Eiri who nodded in affirmation.

“Well, your short-term memory loss will go away. You’re having occasional swelling on a certain part of your brain that controls memories. I may get worse before it gets better. But then I firmly believe the new medicine I’ve prescribed will cure that.�

“And if it doesn’t?� Eiri asked nervously.

“Then we will have to operate to remove the pressure. But as I said I don’t think it will come to that.�

“You’ll forgive me doctor, but I will always feel concerned when people tell me they don’t think and have my lover’s life in their hands.� Eiri snapped.

Shuichi put a hand to his cheek. “You said it will get worse. How much worse will my memory get and what about the big memory gap?�

“It may get as bad as not remembering the previous day.� Shuichi began to tremble and Eiri pulled him into his arms. The doctor reached forward and patted his arm. “I said it might. Then again it may not.�

“What about the big gap?� Eiri reiterated hearing the hitch in his own voice.

“I suggest therapy,� the doctor said quietly.

“But I’m already signed up for physical therapy!� Shuichi interrupted.

“We have an excellent psychologist on staff.� Shuichi paled and Eiri sighed. He knew how hard that could be.

“Why?� Eiri asked.

Looking at Shuichi the doctor sat down. “It is my belief that due to the enormous amount of stress being in the music industry has put on you personally that your mind has decided to delete it all, up to and including the accident.�
“Then how can he remember me and why did he remember in the start?�

“Judging by how close you two are I’d say that there are more good memories between the tow of you than bad. As for why he remembered in the beginning, perhaps it was progressive. A psychiatrist would be better qualified to make that call.�

Eiri could feel his lover was about to lose it but he had one more question. “When can we get out of here?� Shuichi a bit felt better at hearing ‘we’.

“Once I see him walk down the hall, then I’ll sign the release forms,� Dr. Zakawaka answered with a smile. He rose up, left the room and quietly closed the door.

Chapter 6


Dr. Zakawaka had been true to his word. It was a rough week for the couple. Shuichi was making some head way in physical therapy, but the psychological was another story. He had gotten as bad as not remembering two days ago. So here Eiri sat, once more hoping that Shuichi would do well with the psychologist.

The psychologist opened the door and allowed Eiri to come in to join them. She was a petite woman who reminded Eiri of his own psychiatrist, which he used to see on every Friday. Oddly, the similarity put him more at ease. Taking a seat next to Shuichi, he intertwined his hand with that of his lover, and giving him a wink.

“I’m making the recommendation that Shuichi can go home now. I realize he can’t walk to the end of the hallway yet, but I think at this juncture it’s more important that he be in familiar surroundings. I firmly believe he will remember the rest if he’s home.�

“Good, I’m tired of living in a hotel,� Yuki smirked. Shuichi smiled reading in between the lines that his lover would be glad when they could sleep together again. Thanking the doctor, Yuki wheeled Shuichi down the hall to physical therapy, giving the nurse a break. Yuki left Shuichi off at Physical therapy then went to find Dr. Zakawaka.

It took longer to find the doctor than he thought it would, but at last he managed thanks to some friendly nurses that he may have flirted with just a bit to get his information. He hoped Shuichi wouldn’t find out.

Dr. Zakawaka was being rather stubborn though. He did say that when he could at least see Shuichi walk on his own that he would dismiss him. Yuki wondered if murder was legal in any parts of Japan. He understood the doctor wanted to see his patient being independent, but he wasn’t the one who was repeating things to Shuichi day after day before his parents came to see him.

It was with a great deal of despair that he went back to Physical Therapy. From within the doors he could easily hear Shuichi’s sister cheering him on. Yuki wondered what the hell was going on inside. The sight that greeted his eyes as he opened the door, made his heart hit his throat. Shuichi was propped up between two parallel bars on top of a gym mat. He was struggling with his weak arms and even weaker legs to walk.

Their eyes met and Yuki wasn’t sure he could keep the pity out of them. Shuichi looked to be in so much pain. Sweat was beading down his brow. Like moth drawn to the flame Eiri soon found himself at the opposite end of the bars from Shuichi’s sister, cheering him on too.

“Come on Shuichi you can do it!� Eiri yelled.

“Go Shu! Go Shu!� came the yell from the other end of the bars.

Dr. Zakawaka frowned. He didn’t like noise in the hospital and there seemed to be a great deal of it coming from Physical Therapy. After signing off on his rounds, he handed the chart to a nearby nurse then went to go see what was going on. He opened the doors to see Shuichi take the last two steps into Eiri Yuki’s arms.

The romance novelist had tears streaming down his face as he held Shuichi in his arms. Shuichi was laughing as they fell to the floor, in a tangled heap. Miss Shindou was clapping and jumping with happiness, totally oblivious to the rather passionate kiss her brother was now receiving. Dr. Zakawaka thought about offering his congratulations too, but instead closed the door, believing it to be too intimate a moment to interrupt. Instead, he went home with the hope Mr. Shindou would indeed be heading home soon too.

Eiri Yuki had to go home for a few days, so he could meet with his editors. There was simply no more putting them off. His publishers wanted him to put out another book while the sympathy for Shuichi was so high, but Yuki objected to even being away from Shuichi for this long. They agreed to a series of short stories as a way to compromise. Reluctantly and unhappily Eiri agreed.

When he returned to the hospital he wondered where the Shindou family was. They were not at the hotel, nor in Shuichi’s room. Finally, he managed to track down a nurse and found out that Shuichi was once more in the Physical Therapy room. Eiri made his way there, becoming more anxious along the way thinking that something had gone wrong. He hastened through the hallways to get there faster.

Eiri threw open the door and stood in shock unable to move for a moment, or even comprehend. Shuichi was standing on his own, his wheelchair behind him. He was not at the parallel bars, but taking steps on his own. Dr. Zakawaka and the Shindou family stood apparently holding their collective breaths as Shuichi took another step.

Violet eyes locked on to his own. “Yuki! You’re back!�

Eiri Yuki held out his arms. “Come here koi.�

Shuichi beamed and took the few steps that were between them. When he walked into Eiri’s embrace, his lover lifted him off the floor and swung him around. “SHUICHI!�

“Aishiteru Yuki.�

“Aishiteru Shuichi.� The lovers whispered then kissed, mindless of everyone behind them cheering and hugging happily. Dr. Zakawaka slipped out of the room; he had a patient to dismiss.

The Shindou family soon smothered the two men in an embrace. Shuichi looked up at his lover and suddenly had a vision of seeing him across an audience. He was on stage but could see Yuki standing in the middle watching him perform, with that small smile on his face.

“Shuichi? What is it what’s wrong?� Eiri asked in a rush seeing Shuichi freeze up. His gaze was as if he was a million miles away.

“I’ll get the doctor,� his mother said about to dash out the door when Shuichi grabbed her arm to stop her. They all looked at him curiously.

Shuichi looked at his lover and smiled. “I remember being on stage singing and you were there watching and smiling at me.�

“You remember singing?� Hiro asked coming strolling into the room. “Well it’s about time!�

“HIRO!� Shuichi yelled and was handed off from Yuki to Hiro for a big hug.

“What’s the name of our band? Where have we toured? Do we have a lot of CD’s out?� Shuichi asked in a rush.

Hiro looked at Shuichi’s family in concern. “Man, you don’t remember any of it, do you?�

“He’s remembering more than ever before,� Yuki said defensively. “You have no idea!�

Hiro scratched his head. “I suppose I deserve that.� He said looking at how worn out everyone seemed to be. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here Shuichi they had us working our tails off in the studio. Will you be coming back soon?�

“Actually he just has to sign on the dotted line to be released.� The doctor had returned handing a clipboard and pen to Shuichi and everyone watched with relief.

Chapter 7 – Epilogue

“Shu-chan what are you doing?� Yuki asked as he sucked on a strawberry Poki stick, standing in the doorway to their bedroom. It had been over a month since he’d quit smoking and had developed a taste for the sweets that Shuichi had so adored. But Shuichi would sometimes tease him when he held it like a cigarette in his hands, or would try to tap ashes off it. Yuki would just glare at him and give a small smile declaring it was a force of habit.

Shuichi looked up from the bag that he’d been packing into the curious eyes of his lover. “Getting ready to pick up where our tour left off.�

Yuki dropped his strawberry stick in alarm. Visions of Shuichi lying in the hospital, working in Physical Therapy and with the physiatrist to get his memories back crashed over him like a wave. “You aren’t going!�

Shuichi frowned. “Of course I am. The band has been waiting for me to recover and I am fully recovered. Why wouldn’t I go?�

“SHUICHI!!! I can’t believe you! After everything you’ve been through, you want to go on tour again? On one of those buses? What if this happens again? Besides baka, you might be rushing it! Can’t it wait? What about local venues?� Yuki could feel the panic rising up in his throat. He felt literally sick at the thought of Shuichi going on tour. Plus, he’d be all alone. Yuki had finally gotten used to being with Shuichi some part of everyday. He wasn’t going to lose that now!

“What is with you? I thought you’d be glad to get the place to yourself for some piece and quiet to write!� Shuichi answered standing up.

“Look you’re the Uke in this relationship and you’ll do what I tell you. There is NO WAY I’m letting you go, especially on one of those crazy tour buses again.� Yuki folded his arms over his chest.

Shuichi’s mouth fell open. Yuki had never played the Uke card before. He stared at his lover in total disbelief. That’s when he saw the emotion just brimming under the surface in Yuki’s eyes. “You’re scared.�

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I ever be scared about anything to do with a punk like you?� Yuki turned his back to the room so Shuichi couldn’t see he was about to cry. Did he mean so little to Shuichi that he would go off and not think twice about it?

“You are scared. You really love me that much?� Shuichi asked happily.

“Of course I do! You have to ask, even after all that time I spent by your hospital bed wondering if you’d ever be the same and if I’d ever my baka back!� Yuki yelled.

“YUKI!� Shuichi yelled happily, tackling the taller, older man to the floor in an enthusiastic hug. “I love you so much!�

A small smile appeared on Yuki’s face as he was cuddled by his younger lover. There was a time he thought that they’d never have this again. Just that thought was enough to make his heart clench in fear. There was no way he’d let Shuichi out of his sight again. “IF you insist on being a total baka and doing this well then, I’m going with you. And I’m driving!�

“What? But what about your book and your editors? Won’t you get in trouble?� Shuichi knew that ever since they’d returned home Yuki’s editors had been relentless. The saga of Shuichi and Yuki was something that Eiri Yuki’s readers were hoping to see glimpses of in his romantic novels.

“I’ll bring my laptop. While you’re practicing and setting up for the shows I can be writing in the VIP lounge or hotel room, whatever,� Yuki waved a hand in a sign of indifference.

“But you said you never wanted to stay in a hotel room ever again!� Shuichi cried with tears now flowing down his cheeks.

“Well, not for that long and never with you in the hospital,� Yuki said softly wiping away Shuichi’s tears. “Besides this way I can keep you safe from all your groupies.� Yuki smirked.

“But the press will probably find out you are there with me and hound us again about being lovers.� Shuichi pouted.

“Well, why don’t we give them something new to wonder about then?� Yuki sat up pushing Shuichi off and walked over to his nightstand. Shuichi watched him in confusion then walked over, sat on the bed and tried to look over Yuki’s shoulder to see what he was doing.

“Yuki, what’s that?� Shuichi pointed at the tiny box that Yuki had taken out of the drawer.

“Something I bought while you were in the hospital. I think I was coming down with the flu or some deadly disease at the time to make me do it.� Yuki teased handing Shuichi the same dark brown velvet box.

Shuichi held it with trembling hands. “Yuki?�

“Go on, open it. The box won’t bite you crazy baka.� Shuichi nodded at his lover’s words and opened the box to see a matched pair of gold rings with silver inlay. He gasped.

“They’re beautiful.�

“Well, of course they are. I picked them out. You didn’t think I’d let you pick out our commitment rings do you?� Yuki teased further. “Now I paid good money for this and I expect to see it on your finger all the time got that?�

Shuichi just nodded and began to bawl. Yuki rolled his eyes as he was treated to one of Shuichi’s famous saline baths. He patted Shuichi on the back and kissed him on the head. “YOU LOVE ME!� Shuichi wailed.

“You are such a baka. Why else would I put up with you this long?� Yuki sighed. “Now are you going to let me put this on you, or what? All these tears are starting to annoy me. I might just have to take these back to the jewelers.�

Shuichi’s tears dried up as instantly as they started and Yuki shook his head. Taking out the smaller ring he carefully placed in on Shuichi’s finger. Shaking like a leaf Shuichi did the same action for Yuki placing the matching larger ring on his ring finger.

“Are we married now?� Shuichi whispered.

“No, just committed to each other, and to me that means just as much if not more.� Yuki pushed Shuichi down to the bed, lust suddenly filling his eyes. “You know that when I go with you on tour this time we’ll get our own room.�

“Oh that will be so cool! We can watch movies and play games together!� Shuichi squealed happily.

“We can do more than that, let me show you,� Yuki said and began to illuminate Shuichi on exactly what else they would be doing.

The end