Author: Kenaf aka Keikokin
Category: First Time, Pre-Slash, Sap
Spoilers: Children of the Gods, Forever in a Day, Zero Hour
Notes: Thanks to Shino Ryu for the bunny, and MJ for beta work & Veer for test reading
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Jack stood in front of his son’s tombstone. Usually he didn’t say anything when he came to visit, it was just too painful. Yet now there was another pain inside him, he just needed to talk. He stood staring for a long time lost in thought, heedless of all around him. Jack just cried and cried. It was a dam that needed to break. He summoned up his courage and said what he needed to say.

“Hey kiddo. You know I love you. I loved your mom at one time, too. Charlie, I love someone else now. Damn, he’s been through so much. I’m sure there’s a stolen halo in heaven and that Danny used to wear it. It was right if he did; hell it shines in everything he touches. But now,� Jack choked,� to look at him now you could never tell. Someone ran away with his innocence, and I’m afraid it was me. Or these damn Goa’uld’s we deal with. Seeing his wife being taken over, well he just can’t get it out of his head. I can only imagine what he’s feeling when he prays for her each night kneeling at the edge of his bed.�

“I’m sure he wants to be taken away. That life could just take away the pain, surround him and hold him like holy water once again, “Jack pulled in a deep breath and looked up at the sky.

“He wants someone to call him angel and put the light back in his eyes. He’s looking through the faces and the unfamiliar places – I know I was lost too.
Danny needs someone to hear him when he cries. He just needs a little help to wash away the pain he's felt. He wants to feel the healing hands of someone who understands. I just- I just wish it was me,� Jack sighed and looked back at the tombstone. Can you put in a good word for him son? After all he was an angel once too, just like you are.�

Jack turned at the sound of sniffing coming from behind him. “Danny?�
He saw a quick nod of the head before Daniel wrapped him up in a hug and held him tightly. Instinctively Jack began to rub Daniel’s back. “What are you doing here?�

Daniel pulled away but didn’t let go. He looked into Jack’s eyes and said,� I know it’s the day you come up here. I’ve been worried about you. Ever since Sha’uri died you’ve been so …distant.�

“How much did you hear Danny?� Jack asked afraid to know and more afraid not to know. But as soon as he asked he saw the answer in Daniel’s eyes, “Oh, so all of it, huh? “

“Let’s walk Jack,� Daniel said keeping one arm around Jack’s waist. After a few steps Daniel began to talk. “I need to talk to you.�

“It’s not your fault I lost my innocence Jack. I was over sheltered in academia. It was going to happen, regardless. As for Sha’uri, I knew it was over the first time I saw her eyes flash. In many ways even though it hurts like hell it’s better for her sake it’s over.� Jack looked into Daniel’s face and saw it was the truth. He nodded as Daniel continued.

“Yes, I pray for her every night. It might surprise you to know I pray for Charlie, Sara and you too. No parent should go through what you did. At least Sha’uri and I never had one, because it would probably have been another Goa’uld.�

Jack frowned at this. “You would have been a hell of a father Daniel.� Jack stated firmly.

“Well, we can get back to that,� Daniel replied enigmatically. Jack frowned more, but let it go. There was already a lot to make sense out of.

“There isn’t enough time for all that I want to show you Jack. With every touch we share, every intimate conversation it makes me realize I want to be beside you always. Jack you are my angel. I’m sure you don’t believe that but it’s true. Now this may come as a shock, but I love you too.�

Jack froze in his tracks. “God Danny, say I didn’t just imagine that!�

“You didn’t just imagine it Jack. I love you Jonathan O’Neill.� Jack brushed a finger over Daniel’s lips.

“Somehow I like it when you call me that,� Jack whispered.

“Good because it’s a beautiful name for a wonderful man. Now listen up Jonathan I have a proposition for you.� Daniel sat them down on a bench under a huge maple tree.

“This isn’t exactly the place for sexual propositions Doctor,� Jack teased.

“No, but it is one for life changing decisions. So let me talk okay?� Jack nodded wondering what Daniel was about to say.

“I’ve been offered a teaching position on the base. I’m tired of gate travel I really am. Now with you being base side as the General and me being there, well I’ve been doing some thinking. Your monologue saved me some trouble of finding out if you loved me or not. “

Daniel smiled at Jack and kissed the palm of his hand before looking away.

“Jack, I just found out I have a second cousin. The thing is she’s a widower who’s terminally ill and has a daughter and son still in grade school. She wants to leave them in my care. I don’t want to try parenthood alone despite the fact that you think I can be a good father, I have some real doubts. She has no problems with my preference toward men over women. God, this is so hard.� Daniel looked away trying to gather his thoughts again.

Covering Daniel’s hands in his own Jack looked into Daniel’s eyes. “Mind if I talk now?� Daniel shook his head, took off his glasses and wiped away some tears.

“If I’m reading you right you are looking for not only a partner but someone to share fatherhood with?� Jack felt like he’d just landed a rainbow trout in a wishing well. This was too incredible to believe. He could have Daniel on the base, be a parent again and have a love life with Daniel too?

“Yeah, I know it’s a lot, but Theresa doesn’t have a lot of time, a couple of months tops. She doesn’t want the kids split up. And hell, Jack those kids are the family I never knew I had! If it not for the private detective she hired I would still be in the dark. I don’t want them to go through the system like I did! You have a house and I just have a little apartment…�

Jack couldn’t help it. He sank his head between his knees and sobbed, gut wrenching sobs like he hadn’t done in years. “Jack? Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Look this was obviously a bad idea.�

“You loveable idiot,� Jack sobbed, looking at Daniel with a huge smile despite the tears running down his face.

“Jack?� Daniel asked in confusion.

“It wasn’t enough that you love me too, but you offer me kids and a family when I thought that by swinging the other way I had ensured I’d never get the chance again? Add to that my age and well, I figured this horse was ready for pasture. It will be hard playing house without the military freaking out Danny, but I’m ready to retire. I’m not meant to be a General. Hell I can handle being a kept man! Besides I don’t want to miss a minute of the kids lives,� Jack’s eyes darted briefly to where Charlie lay for all eternity.

“Do you mean you are okay with all this, a relationship, living together and kids? I mean I hit you with a lot!� Daniel spluttered in disbelief at Jack’s acceptance of his proposition.

“Danny, I’m more than okay with this. So, um, can we get sound proofing on our bedroom? I don’t know how far in our relationship we may be when this all comes together. But I don’t want them to move in and hear us screaming in the night. And oh, I will make you scream. There may be snow on the roof but there is still fire in the furnace,� Jack whispered before leaning over to kiss Danny gently.

Daniel threw his arms around Jack laughing while sprinkling kisses all over his face, jaw line and throat.

He didn’t hear Jack as he looked to where Charlie rested and whispered, �You done good kiddo!�