A Moment in Time by Keikokin (PG)
Drabble of Daniel’s inner turmoil

Categories: Jack/Daniel
Characters:
Genres: First Time
Warnings: Fluff
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1
Word count: 850 - Hits: 2824
Complete?: Yes - Published: 02/01/06 - Last Updated: 02/01/06

1. one shot by Keikokin



one shot by Keikokin
Title: A Moment in Time
Author: Kenaf
Note: Daniel’s POV
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We were standing all alone at that club. I could tell you were there for the friends who’d dragged you there. You leaned in to speak to me while moving gently to the music. Then you leaned in more and kissed me, before vanishing into the crowd. Now I can’t think of anything else.

Here I go again, I promised myself I wouldn’t think of you today but here I stand in your doorway. How many times have I done this just this week alone? But I lower my hand and keep moving on. You could lose your career and those around us could get in trouble too. But would this be a quick one-night stand or would it be something more?

The years have already slipped by between us. If I’m wrong will I have to hide bruises too? I thought I could make it past this but nothing else has made it past the walls I’ve built up why should this suddenly?

But I can feel the presence of the cameras all around watching my soul in torture. I’m trapped inside my own fears. Maybe it meant nothing at all. But I still remember my knees going weak and my heart pounding in my chest.

Maybe if I ignore it then I’ll be free of it. I can still walk away there’s still time. I can’t imagine what you were thinking or if you considered the risk you were taking. What reaction were you expecting? This has become like a monster within me “ both afraid to know and urgently in need to know. God I get you help me figure out what to do.

If I leave can I console myself again, that it was the right thing to do? But what has romance ever done for me? I’ve had only heartache and misery I’m a walking tragedy. No wonder I couldn’t stay ascended my wings are broken. I’ve never really learned to fly, just crash and burn. So many people would run or hide, while others would kill for this chance, maybe I should’ve called.

But I know how it feels to be alone and not believe in anything. I don’t know if I can stand that standing in the sunshine and still the air feels so cold. Yet, when you stand near me I can feel you breathing and my heart singing. Just being near you covers me in warmth again. Can I tell you how I feel? Things I used to be so sure of have all slipped through my hands over the years as I watched my heart sink into the sands.

My heart is always beating but it feels dead inside. Is it because I’ve locked it away? But then when did you get the key? One little kiss and my world is upside down?

How am I supposed to feel about the things we’ve done and said to each other? Should I stay or run? The only love I have right now is for you, I can feel it breathing on its own, yet I’m ready to throw it away for fear.

The further I walk the colder I become and so I turn and head back determined to cross that barrier. So I finally decide to go for it and knock on your door, after all I can just visit right?

Damn, you’re on the phone, maybe it’s a sign but I can’t leave now. I look at the pictures in your office and they’ve all changed like your name and rank. I know I’ve let you down again and again, but I failed to consider I let our friendship die too.

How many times have we come so close to that moment between us? We’ve always run away from this and the pain it could bring. But somehow it feels so right to go to you and trust you with all that I am.

I hear the phone call end and then I turn to see your smiling face. I find myself drawn like magic into your embrace and suddenly nothing else matters anymore. That something that has always been missing is you.

Take me away from that empty apartment and this empty shell of a man. Make me yours, brand me and take me away. It’s been a nightmare without your warmth to comfort me.

If ever you loved me let’s let the past go and only have that kiss forward into eternity. Maybe someday is today and you can look me in the eyes and call me your friend but I’m ready for more than that. I’m ready to be your lover. I’m still so scared I don’t know what to say.

But then you look into my eyes and you kiss me again saying, “It’s okay.” And it is.
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This story archived at http://www.squidge.org/keikokin/viewstory.php?sid=33.