Disclaimer: All characters, places, and objects from The Sentinel belong to Pet Fly Productions, UPN, and Paramount. All stories are written with the love of the show in mind. No copyright infringement is intended











Despite my Sentinel senses I’m usually a sound sleeper. So when I woke up my senses knew immediately something was wrong. But what was it? I turned up my hearing as I sat up in bed. The warm summer air drifted through the loft and I focused on the house. Blair? Was he crying?



I got up out of bed in a flash and took the stairs two at time. He was huddled in the kitchen with an ice pack to his face. “Chief!” I turned on a light and felt my temper fly. There was blood on his clothing and his face was swelling with a fierce looking bruise.

“What happened?” I gently pulled away the ice pack and winced. “Chief?”



“Don’t want to talk about it. It’s over, go back to bed, Jim.” Blair’s voice sounded hollow.



“You’ve got blood on your shirt, I’m not about to let this go. Who did this to you? I’ll have him downtown and cuffed before you can say, “Seattle Mariners.”



“Look, I’m okay. Just fucking leave it!” Blair got up, ran for his room and slammed the door. Then I heard the lock on the door, his tossing of the ice pack and his body hitting the mattress before he began to sob again.



I scratched my head and called the precinct. “Ellison? Don’t you ever sleep?” came the voice of the cop at the night desk.



“No, I don’t. Look, I need to ask. Has there been any reports of violence in town?” I whispered.



“Yeah, just brought two guys to the hospital and one to lockup.”



“What was it about and where was it?”



“Just a few blocks from your house actually. Gay bashing.” I almost dropped the phone. “Ellison, you still there?”



“Yeah, you say you got the guy?”



“Sure did. Would you believe one of them had homemade mace on him? Then he called 911 and fled the scene. Whoever he is, he’s a real hero. Have any information on it?”



“Maybe I’ll be in early,” I hung up the phone. Fuck. Okay, either Blair was with a bunch of guys that were mistaken for gays, or Blair was gay. But what about the parade of women Blair seemed to attract? Was it for show? I rummaged around and found some frozen peas for a new ice pack, then I went to Blair’s room. “Let me in, Blair. I know what happened. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” I heard a few sniffles before the door unlocked.



Blair sat on the bed with his back to me. “I’m fine, Jim. I’ll be out before anyone pieces it together.”



“Chief, what are you talking about?” I walked over and handed him the new ice pack.



“Thanks. You can’t have me staying here now that I’m outted. I’ll pack up first thing.” I froze. Blair was gay or at least bi. The guys downtown would have a field day, no doubt, but by the same token, Blair was a hero.



“I’m proud of you, Chief. You did everything right. I’m sure it was my training.” I said smugly.



Blair laughed then moaned, ”Don’t make me laugh, man. I just didn’t want Simon and the guys to figure it out right away. I bought myself some time to get some sleep before I have to leave. I’m sure I can crash on campus somewhere.”



“Chief.”



“I mean, one of my students can link me up with something.”



“Chief.”



“Or maybe I can sweet talk my way into faculty quarters.”



“Chief, I don’t want you to go.”



“Maybe one of my old buddies can hook…what did you say, man??”



“You heard.”



“I heard, yeah, but I don’t get it. The guys will eat you alive.”



“Don’t you think they have been teasing me already? Chief, you’ve been here for over a year, you turned down Borneo for me. They probably have us cross-dressing, using whips and swinging from the ceiling.”



“That doesn’t bother you?” Blair turned, those puppy dog eyes looking at me hopefully.



“Not as much as you not telling me you were bi or gay or whatever first. I live with you. Didn’t I make the list of people to tell?”



“I figured you’d freak, that’s why I made sure to always have a girl on my arm. They like playing with the hair, so it’s easy enough to get dates.”



“What am I going to do with, you Blair? I thought you trusted me.”



“I do, I just couldn’t risk it.”



“Because you thought I’d lose my job or toss you out.”




“Something like that.”



I sighed. “So are you going to bring Mr. Right around to meet me?”



“I’m not dating anyone.” Blair looked down at his blooded shirt.



“Well, bedtime, Chief, come on,” I said and turned leaving the door open.



“Huh?” Blair asked in confusion. I turned again.



“If I’m going to do the time, might as well do the crime. Besides I never had a teddy bear whose hair I could play with.” I smiled and suddenly had an armload of Blair. “That’s better, but not too fast, you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.”



“You aren’t old, Jim.” I glared at him.” Well, you can’t be if you still want a teddy bear.”



“I want a teddy Blair, now get up there.” I playfully smacked him on the butt. When I got to the loft I took off his shirt, shoes, and socks, put the bag of peas back on his face and pulled him to my chest.



“I love you, man,” Blair whispered, and before I knew it, he’d fallen asleep. I reached over and removed the peas from his face.



“Love you too, Sandburg.” I kissed his forehead and played with his hair until I fell asleep.





Ch. 2



I was the first to wake up the next morning with my brain * having an internal battle with my heart ^.



* What have you gotten yourself into now, Ellison? Blair thinks you’re ready to go whole hog on this whole gay thing.



^ Yeah, but there’s always been something that draws me to the kid, maybe this is part of it.



* How do you know it’s not just the ‘Sentinel and his guide’ relationship?



^ Oh please, how many Sentinels want to play with their Guide’s hair?



* But how much more do you want? The kid is crazy about you. It was written all over his face last night.



^ I want to explore this. Hey, Blair means everything to me.



* Wow, where did that come from?



^ Me, the heart. Try to think of a full day, a week, or a month without Blair.



* Point taken. But we need a plan of action here.



^ Must you take the fun out of everything?



* Yes, now shut up and let me think. Hmm, this stays here. The guys at work, my career and all that comes with it, has to be protected. Make this clear to Blair.



^ He’s going to be hurt. We have to explain it to him carefully.



* I think he’ll understand. Now, he needs to make a statement about the incident last night. How can I protect his identity? Damn, what if Simon asks why I called? Okay, have Blair do it by Instant Messenger. He can slide a note under the door for the time. If Simon asks, my senses were picking up something. We take it slow with Blair.



^ Deal.



~ Hey, his breathings changed I think he’s waking up. ~



“Morning, Chief, how are you doing?” I asked in a soft tone.



“Did you get the number of that freight train?” Blair groaned.



“That bad?” I rolled him toward me and looked at his face. Damn. That bruise was a beauty. There’d be no way to hide it. He’d have to take a few days off. “Yeah, well I think you just earned a few days at home.”



“What? No way, man. I’ve got stuff to do,” Blair quickly protested.



“Chief, you can’t show up downtown like that. The guys will figure it out in a heartbeat,” I said firmly, trying to push my point home.



“Oh, right. Damn! But no one will care on campus!”



“News travels, time to call out sick. Better people suspect than know for sure.”



Blair nodded in defeat and laid his head on my chest.



~ This is nice. I could deal with this on a regular basis. ~



I reached out and began to play with his hair, letting my senses zone just a bit on the texture, the sun shinning off of it and the smell.



“Jim?” came a voice into my zone.



“Mmm?”



~ Wow, it’s so soft. I could do this all day. ~



“Never mind,” Blair said quietly.



“I hate when you do that. Just tell me, okay?”



~ I wonder how long it took him to grow it out to this length? ~



“You’ve never been with a guy before have you?”



~ You are my Guide; there is no one else. ~



“No. Does it matter?”



Blair sat up. “Stupid, stupid, stupid! You never said you were gay, I just jumped to conclusions! Look, man, I’m sorry. I’ll just go grab a shower.” He bolted downstairs as my mind tried to focus; I was still half zoned out.



* What the fuck just happened?



^ He’s hurt.



* Why? What did I do?



^ You need to tell him that you want to explore this.



I got up out of bed and went downstairs. Making myself some coffee, I sat and waited for Blair to emerge. I really wanted to shower but it would have to wait. If I showered, he might bolt or get it in his head that he needed to move out again. Sure enough, he crept out and was dressed to leave.



“Hey, you kind of cut me off there.”



“Jim, I, uh, didn’t see you there.”



“Want some coffee?”



“You made it? Has it been checked by the CDC?”



“Very funny, Sandburg.” I made a cup and pushed it across the counter. “Look, I’m sorry I upset you. Truth is, I thought you could be my Guide in this too.”



“What?” Blair looked totally lost.



“Can’t we just explore this?”



“So what happens to me if you decide you aren’t interested? Do I get tossed away like some experiment gone bad?” Blair looked both upset and hurt. I could hear his heart beating faster.



“Chief, I wouldn’t do that. I love you, man.”



“Do you? Do you really? Then why ask me to put myself on the line like this? Suddenly super cop thinks he might be interested in me and I have to do be the rat in the cage?”



“You’re blowing this all out of proportion, Chief. I’ve felt for a while now that there’s something missing from our whole Guide and Sentinel relationship.”



“So you think this might be it? Fuck the Guide and see if it makes things better? Fuck my feelings too? Well, you know what, Jim? FUCK YOU!” Blair ran for his room.



I ran around from my side of the counter and managed to tackle him before he got to his room. Straddling his hips, I pinned him underneath me. He folded his arms over his chest and looked away from me.



“Look, I’m an idiot. I’m not the kind of guy that understands about feelings. You know that. All I’m saying is that if you decide that you want to take a chance with me, I’m willing, all right? Is that so bad to just say? I’d like to explore the possibilities and if it would be with anyone, it would be you, Blair. It’s only ever been you.”



I got up and did my damnedest to ignore the pain coming from my chest. I sighed. “We need to discuss about how you can let the precinct know details on this case. If you type out a note and email it to Simon, you can set up a time to instant messenger. We’re going to need details if we’re going to nail this creep. I don’t like what he did to you at all and he’s going down.”



Grabbing my coat I hesitated at the door. I couldn’t look back. “I’ll tell Simon you have a cold. You know how to reach me. Be careful.” I closed the door behind me.



That’s when I heard Blair say,” God, Jim, you have no idea how much I want you. But I’m scared, man. Scared shitless of losing you for good.” I hesitated, maybe he wanted me to hear that, but then again, sometimes he forgets. Shaking my head I headed for the car, I needed to think.





Ch. 3



I drove to the precinct with my thoughts on Blair the entire time. There was no telling what Blair might be thinking or doing. I could only hope that he made the email contact as I asked. Sure enough, I didn’t even get to sit down before Simon was barking at me to get in his office. He looked behind me curiously. “Where’s Sandburg?”



“Sick, what’s up?” I asked, trying to get Simon’s mind off of Blair.



His face screwed up at the mention of Blair being ill. “Not too bad I hope?” I grinned; Simon had a soft spot for Blair, not that he’d ever let it show.



“He’ll live,” I responded. Simon nodded and closed the door. Now I frowned, why was Simon closing the door?



“I heard you called the night desk. Did you hear something last night? This gay bashing wasn’t too far from your place,” Simon said sitting down, reaching out for his coffee mug.



“Yeah, I knew something was up and that’s why I called,” I lied smoothly, grateful Simon wasn’t a Sentinel or he would have heard my increased heart rate.



“Look, I want you to keep an eye on the kid. He could be next if this keeps up,” Simon said casually in a big brother tone.



“Simon, are you saying that Sandburg is gay?” I asked, doing my best to sound shocked.



“Settle down, Ellison. Let’s face it, he’s a pretty kid. It might get taken the wrong way,” Simon held up a hand in defense. I nodded. ~ If you only knew how right you are. ~



“Well, I want you to hit the streets on this one, see if any of your neighbors have a clue. They will be more willing to talk to a neighbor than if I send down a uniform to take statements.” Simon made sense there. The neighbors would definitely clam up to a uniformed officer. No one wanted trouble these days. Deep down I was grateful, it would give me a chance to swing by the loft and check on Blair. “I received an anonymous email. If we’re lucky, this is the other party and can give us details, but I want you to see what you can find out.” I nodded before leaving for home.



As I drove back I decided to make a few inquiries first, which also gave me a chance to pick up some of the more expensive herbal tea Blair liked as a means of apology. I was relieved to hear his heartbeat as I headed up for the loft. When I entered he hadn’t noticed me so it gave me a chance to just watch him. There was always something in the way he moved, his style and grace, that told me how he was feeling. I could tell he was still bottling things up inside.



“Hey, Chief,” I announced. Blair turned and looked at me. It was as if he could read all my thoughts. Maybe it’s the Guide in him, but I suddenly felt like a moth to a flame. I found myself holding him in my arms before I knew what hit me. “How are you?”



“Fine, man. Look, we REALLY need to talk,” Blair stated, gently yet firmly pushing me off. I pulled a chair around and sat at the table. After pacing a minute Blair asked a question that I should have seen coming a mile off. “How do you feel about me?”



So I stalled. “As what? My partner, my roomie, my friend? What?” Blair looked irritated as I searched my heart quickly. Did I love Blair? I knew instinctively that that’s what he was on about. Could I handle losing him? No, definitely not.



“A potential lover,” Blair hid his face behind his tea mug. “Mmm, you bought me the good stuff. Figured you were in trouble? Smart boy.”



I smiled, using the extra minute the tea had given me to think of what to say. “I can’t live without you or picture a day without you in it.”



“That’s dependence, man. I asked how you FEEL about me… hate, love, friendship?”



“Definitely not hate, of course friendship, and yes love.” I smiled at the last, realizing how right it was to say those words to Blair.




The smile from Blair was like a beacon in the night. “Do you see your love growing to become a full fledged relationship? I don’t do one night stands unless I’m drunk beyond sane thought.”



Suddenly it all clicked. “You’re scared that everything will change between u,s and if it doesn’t work out, we won’t be able to be friends.”



“Yeah, man, aren’t you?” Blair asked in surprise that it had taken me so long to understand. What can I say, the kid is way smarter than I am.



“No, I’m not,” I shrugged.



“Why not?” Blair asked quietly.



“Look at all we’ve been through, Blair. There is no way that will dissolve because we decide to have a more intimate relationship.”



“Do you mean it?” Blair asked hopefully.



“Yes, Chief, I mean it. When have I ever lied to you about something? Sure, I’ve withheld stuff about a case, but never anything like this. Blair, this is for the long haul, a real relationship, forever.” As I said the words everything in my entire world just seemed to click into place. “You’re my world.”



Blair laughed, ”Wow, Jim Ellison, a romantic?” Then he smiled. “I love you too, man, I love you, too.”



As Blair kissed me, it dawned on me that we would not only solve this case, but every case to come, just as we always had in the past… because we had each other.