The Destructive Day Of James Wilson	 The House Fan Fiction Archive	  
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  The Destructive Day Of James Wilson 
 by solothecaptain  

 Title: The Destructive Day of James Wilson

Pairing: House/Wilson

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: My first fic. 

Summary: Wilson doesn't feel very well. House wants to find out the
problem.

Disclaimer: It seems to me that I don't own anything at all. I'd love to
say that they're mine. But I can't. They're ours. 

House is sitting on the sofa, watching a soap opera on the television.
However he orders, when I come as if he would have a radar for me. 

,,Have you got something to eat? Come here. If not make your way to the
kitchen!" 

,,I have bought some chinese." I murmur, strip off my coat and put away my
shoes. 

Then I want to move into the living room but I can't. I close my eyes and
take a deep breath. I've had a terrible day today. I can't even speak
about it. I land beside House, giving him his plate. He is watching Lost.
Sawyer and Jack have to make out together. I would like to smile at my
thought but I can't find the strength. 

,,You're not eating today, wonder-boy?" House asks and I know that if I
turn around I will be staring into his blue eyes. And there will be a lot
of questions. That's why I keep looking at the screen.

,,I've eaten at work. Some sandwiches."

"Then why have you brought two menus?"

,,Said ,The usual` and the little chinese girl gave this to me."

,,Hmm."

I can't tell him that I would throw up any kind of a meal. My body is
aching. House isn't able to understand what it means to watch people die.
I'm always letting them die. What a wonderful doctor I am! I don't know
how to heal my patients. Girls, boys, edults, children... It doesn't
matter. I have lost Mary and Andy today. Mary, amazing woman, mother of
two kids. She was so strong and beautiful personality. She didn't
deserve... Her family didn't deserve to lose her. Andy, the little boy, 5
years old. His parents were coming to my office every day. Crying,
shouting, begging for his life. And I always reassured them. Now it's
over. They won't see him smile again. There's no hope for anybody.

,,Doc's the right guy. Maybe she'll pick him up. But Sawyer's got the
sparkling in his eyes. However she's a bitch anyway... Are you listening
to me?"

House asks but I cannot answer.

,,Wilson, are you crying?"

I get up, take the dirty dishes and hurry to the kitchen. I throw away the
empty boxes and even my full one into the trash. Then I lean over the
kitchen unit and let my tears flow. Suddenly a warm hand lands on my
shoulder.

,,Wilson?"

,,Go away. You don't want to see me like this."

I cover my face with my hands but House turns me around. My back rests
against the desk now and he pulls my hands away.

He looks startled. Well I must be pale with red eyes and tears running
across my cheeks. I'm misery in a shape of human body.

,,See? I don't feel well." I say and try to struggle away. But his grip
maintains.

,,Why?"

,,Let me go, House." I demand but it changes nothing.

,,You have drunk, haven't you?" He asks, smelling the scent of alcohol.
,,And you have driven your car. What is this supposed to mean?"

Today I have realised that nothing's for eternity. Especially you and me.
I could lose you, watch you die. A part of me would be gone with you. I'd
rather commit a suicide than live without you. I love you.

,,Just a bad day, okay? You've never been interested in. Why do you care
now? What the hell is your problem, no-one-can-hurt-me-House? Some people
are not as strong and arrogant as you!" I spit out my anger. My voice goes
hoarse as I'm being overwhelmed by my feelings and emotions.

,,This is not about me, James. Stop kicking around you and calm down."

He speaks in his sotto voice, breaking me with his racionality and
steadiness in his blue eyes. I would love to slap him in the face if I had
the chance. 

,,Do you still have the pot, you have told me about?" I whisper and his
face is full of curiousity at the change of my behaviour.

,,Yeah. Why?"

,,Would you share with me?"

House scrutinizes my each feature with a stern look. But then he takes a
step back. 

,,Follow me."

We walk to the bedroom and House takes the stash from its hide. I sit down
on the ground. My mind is blank as I watch him preparing it. He lits up
the first joint, takes a blow and hands it to me. Then he makes another
one.

,,You had a big argument with me about this. What's happened to your
sanity?"

,,Carpe diem."

I murmur, enjoying the warmness which spreads inside of me immediately.

We are smoking in silence. I can feel his eyes moving in different
directions all over me. I am a puzzle to be solved for him. I am fighting
against another wave of tears boldly and then I meet his gaze. Mine is
hazy, his is suspicious. My fingers are trembling but I ask for more.

,,You're a mess, Jimmy." He notes, uses my first name again.

,,Hrmf..." I mumble, taking another cigarette.

,,This is your destructive day or what? You drink, you smoke if you even
want to fuck I won't be surprised."

,,Could you do that?"

,,What?"

,,Fuck me."

I say as if it would be the most natural suggestion. I lay down, taking
another blow. He moves closer and closer.

,,When will you tell me the reason for this?"

The deepness of his eyes is killing me. It is gentle and cruel at the same
time. Even if I try to do my best it has still some sort of power over me.


,,I've already told you."

,,No you ...Bad day...," He seems to remember my words. His face softens a
bit, ,,People are dying, Jimmy. You can't save everybody, you know." 

,,But I don't want them to pass away!!! I don't want you to die!" Tears,
they are stinging in my eyes again as I'm trying to scream.

,,I'm not going to leave anytime soon, you know."

,,I'm scared, House. I'm a terrible doctor. What if I can't save anybody?
Especially you! I need you. Need you..."

I shout and then murmur my last words, gazing at the ash on the top of the
joint.

House smiles. A small, soft smile. His thumb brushes some of the tears
away. He forces me to look at him.

,,You're great doctor. But don't take everything so hard for Christ.
You're exhausted, Jimmy. Need a rest. You're babbling."

,,No, yes, no. It's your fault! You're so engrossed in the idea of being
alone and miserable that you don't see me trying to get in touch with you.
I need to rely on somebody." I cry and he backs away a bit.

"Maybe you have chosen a wrong person."

,,No you have chosen me! So don't be surprised when I try to... to..."

"What?"

"Love you."

Silence. It's heavy and it lingers around us. I strugle on my feet, trying
to escape the scene.

,,Don't go away." House says adamantly.

When I don't listen to him, he hits me with his cane in the shin. I fall
onto the floor. It hurts. Then I find myself to be pulled in bed. I weep
because of all the pain.

,,Damn, James, what are you doing to me?" He states and his lips covers
mine.

It's slow, gentle and deep. It feels like my first kiss. House is leading
the dance of our tongues. He is watching over me. My hand grasps a piece
of his T-shirt as I want to hold him close.

,,Hush, I've already told you that I'm not leaving you."

House whispers, kisses and bites my neck. I groan in response.

,,Damn, you really scared me, Jimmy." he says and unbuttons my shirt. He
puts a lot of small kisses and licks across my body. And he is heading
downwards. I moan his name.

,,How you could think that I don't care about you." 

House's fingers encircle around my cock and they are moving so slowly and
gently. 

I have closed my eyes but now I open them and see him staring back at me.

,,You look so innocent, James." 

House whispers and I take off his T-Shirt and unzip his jeans. Although I
break the contact with his talented fingers, I need to feel him
completely. 

"Skin against skin, Jimmy?"

He groans as our cocks slide against each other.

,,Yeah." 

I murmur incoherently as his hand adds more preassure to our friction.

,,Greg!!!" I shout his name madly. 

It's over and I'm still holding him close. I cannot let him go. Our lips
meet in another delicious kiss and we look into each other's soul.

,,Why do you call me with my first name?"

,,You started! Why did you do that?"

,,Isn't that clear?"

,,No."

,,Because I love you or I'm stoned. I can't decide right now."	
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ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House
(and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property
of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I
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