The BLTS Archive - The Sarah Vignettes: Full of Grace
by Sileya (sileyathesultry@gmail.com)

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Disclaimers: All hail mighty Paramount. They own it all, I just aspire
to. The inspiration for this vignette was the song "Full of Grace" by
Sarah McLachlan. She owns the lyrics, I just stuck most of them in
some sort of order in here. It's creepy... this story wrote itself in
15 minutes.

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Harry Kim stood with his arms folded around him closely, looking out
the port window of the observation deck. The stars sailed by, burning
cold in the vacuum, shining beacons of someone else's home. Their icy
tendrils reaching out into the dead space, those stars tore at his
soul.

"I just want to see my own stars... these are so strange, alien...
it's so cold here. Like winter, never-ending. Not my stars," he
murmurs, absorbed in his thoughts. He shivers, chilled to the bone,
and dry eyes stare out at those stars.

"No shore leave for months. No trees, no birds... no sunlight. No warm
sunlight..." Harry sighs. Even if they stopped on a suitable planet,
the sun would not be his own bright yellow beacon. "Too long
away... too far from home to hope to see that sun again anytime soon,"
he whispers. "My sun."

His thoughts stray to Libby, the memories a vague wavering beacon
themselves, and he closes his eyes, struggling to focus and center on
that image. "My sun..." he whispers again. He leans mournfully against
the window, eyes still squeezed shut as he feels like he's sinking,
farther and farther away from those treasured images. His hand hits
the cool clear window as he thoughtlessly attempts to claw for solid
ground. "Slipping away," he whispers sadly.

He allows his thoughts to spiral downward into the unknown, sucked
down into nothingness by a cosmic undertow of thousands upon thousands
of light years. Harry sighs again, almost a sob, his emotions
bottoming out so low, so far gone for the young man lost in his own
personal darkness. "I feel like letting go..." he whispers, stricken
by the loneliness.

Harry doesn't hear the doors swish open behind him, or the footsteps
of someone approaching him. That person approaches, reaching out on so
many levels, attempting to save Harry from drowning in sorrow. One
hand rests warmly against his face, catching the one tear that was
trailing slowly downward, the other winds around him, lending him an
anchor in the darkness, reaching out a hand to save and support him

"You are not alone. All my strength... all my courage... I've come to
lift you from this place." the figure joins Harry in his unfocused
memories, pointing to the ever-retreating image of Libby. "I know I
can love you much better than this." Tuvok whispers, both audibly and
in Harry's mind, the strength tangible and real, yet so, so gentle
with the hurting young man so deserving of much better. In that fading
light, Tuvok takes Harry's hand and helps him move away from Libby to
the brighter light. "You can leave her... full of grace. Full of
grace, my love," Tuvok murmurs.

Harry moves along with him; he and Tuvok together moving into
wakefulness and real recognition. He is loathe to move from Tuvok's
tender embrace. "Why? How could you know...?"

Tuvok smiles gently inside Harry's mind, projecting his own struggle
with losing his wife T'Pel, and his own resignation before discovering
salvation in devoting himself to Harry. "So it's better this way,"
Tuvok points out solemnly, reconjuring the fading memories one last
time. "Having seen this place before."

Harry sighs, recalling the empty years that had passed since Voyager
came to the Delta Quadrant. Where everything that was said...
everything that was done, made the pain hurt even more. Harry
touches Tuvok's cheek lightly. "It's just that we stayed in the past
far too long... in the same... sickly thinking... I didn't want to
change."

Tuvok knows how he feels, projecting to his love how he had felt the
same way. The spiraling depression and darkness, being pulled down by
the undertow of regret and pain. For a Vulcan, to admit to such a low
of emotion...

Harry nods ever so slightly. "I felt the same way... like letting go
of it all."

They hold each other for what seems an eternity, communing in the
light link Tuvok established in order to save Harry from emotional
suicide. After some time, they both silently agree... and Tuvok
deepens the link.

"All of my strength.." Tuvok murmurs.

"All of my courage," Harry echoes, finally no longer alone, reveling
in the presence of his soon-to-be lover.

"We will support each other, lift each other from the place of despair
and darkness." they silently intone in each other's minds.

Harry smiles. "I know I could love you much better than this..." his
full lips moving to meet Tuvok's with anticipation and fervor. Their
last thoughts echo as they lightly collapse together to the floor.

"It's better this way..."

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The End