The BLTS Archive - Resignation by Sereph (lmrsat@hotmail.com) --- Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah I own nothing Blah Blah Blah. See? I got this lawyer stuff downpat, boy I tell you! --- "Am I reading this right? You resign?" Captain Janeway sat behind her desk feeling very drained with a headache fast approaching. "Indeed." Seven of Nine stood in front of the desk in a rigid, military-precise posture. "Why?!" Janeway demanded. Seven let out a quiet sigh, as if the answer should have been obvious. "I am no longer able to perform my duties with maximum efficiency." The Captain had a perplexed look on her face. "I don't understand. Why ever not?" Seven gave Janeway a condescending look. "My processing time is being used to calculate the most efficient way to terminate Lieutenant Torres. This action is reducing my ability to perform my duties in Astrometrics." "What?" "Is your hearing inadequate? Shall I summon the Doctor? I just stated my intent to terminate Lieutenant Torres." Captain Janeway's mind was reeling trying to figure out why Seven wanted to kill B'Elanna. "Why do you want to try to kill B'Elanna?" Seven looked at Janeway curiously. "Because she asked me to." Janeway brought her hand up and started rubbing her forehead. How in the world could Seven be so clear, yet so vague? "Let me get this straight, you are resigning because you can't concentrate." "Yes." "Because you are trying to figure out how to kill B'Elanna." "Yes." "Because she asked you to." Seven nodded. "Correct." Janeway mumbled to herself, "And I thought this would be a simple day." She looked up, trying to get a grasp on the situation. "Why did B'Elanna ask you to kill her?" Seven's eyebrow lifted in a superior fashion at her Captain's lacking skills in logic. "I believe it to be a combination of factors." "Factors?" "Yes." "Seven, if you have any decency, please clarify your statements when issuing them. Now, what were these factors?" Seven paused for a moment as she tried to rephrase her response to match the Captain's rapidly failing logic. "I calculate it to be 57.32 percent based on the 3.43 hours I was engaged in the exchange of bodily fluids, 32.96 percent based on the 2.19 hours I spent examining her mammary glands and 9.72 percent based on her lack of cognitive function at the time." Janeway just looked at Seven blankly. "Huh?" "The exact words were: 'Oh Kahless, this is how I want to die.'" The Captain was at a loss, evidenced by the distant glazed look in her eyes. "Um…" "The words were uttered at 96.4 decibels. I am quite sure I did not hear incorrectly." "96.4 decibels." "Correct. Her audible peak was 143.2 decibels. I believe that to be due to my manipulation of B'Elanna's clitoris and collection of her vaginal fluids." Janeway almost started hyperventilating. "Fluids." "Correct. Captain, you appear to be having difficulty forming coherent sentences. Are you sure your brain stem is functioning?" Janeway only started pounding her head on her desk. "Oh God… Oh God. . . B'Elanna's going to kill me…" "No, my designation is not God, it is Seven of Nine. You are clearly suffering brain damage. Seven of Nine to Sickbay!" "Sickbay here." "Captain Janeway is suffering brain damage. She is having difficulties controlling her vocal cords, is engaged in non- productive self-mutilation and is unable to remember my designation." "I am on my way! Is she still able to breathe?" Seven looked at Janeway. "Yes, although it is highly erratic. She also has delusions of B'Elanna attempting to terminate her existence." A moment later the Doctor materialized in the room and immediately started scanning the red-faced Captain. "Captain, how are you feeling?" Janeway got a hold of herself to croak out, "I am fine, get out of here." The Doctor turned to Seven. "What were you doing when the Captain began exhibiting the behavior that concerned you?" "I was explaining B'Elanna's comments at the point of orgasm. The Captain began hallucinating shortly afterwards." The Doctor paled, or at least its photonic equivalent if his holographic matrix could do such a thing. Turning to the Captain, he quickly blurted out, "I will have Tuvok protect you from B'Elanna," before disappearing in a flash of sparkles. Seven's brow furrowed in confusion. "Captain, if that was all you wished to be informed of, I will continue my calculations. At this point I have an 84.32 percent chance of successfully giving B'Elanna an orgasm approximately every 12.5 minutes. I estimate it will require 83 consecutive orgasms to cause her to go into cardiac arrest, taking her twin hearts and Klingon redundancy into account." Seven tilted her head slightly before continuing, "As you can clearly see, this is unacceptable. I require further research." Janeway clapped her hands over her eyes, as if hoping that not being able to see Seven would allow her to sink into the floor. "Door. . . door is over there. . . go out door. . . you out. . . " "Yes, please sign these datapads and I will leave." Seven handed two pads to Janeway who, in her hurry to get Seven out of her ready room, frantically signed them without reading them. Seven nodded, then spun on her heels and left. --- Later, when B'Elanna returned to her quarters she found a determined blonde efficiently packing up all of B'Elanna's possessions. Looking around at the barren room, she asked in a slightly confused voice, "What in the world are you doing! Where are you putting all my stuff?" Seven raised her eyebrow. "I am preparing to move it to our new quarters." "Our new quarters?" "Yes, Captain Janeway agreed to be transferred to the cargobay, transferring us to her old quarters." "Oh Kahless… I am so dead." "No not yet, I have refined my calculations to 5.3 orgasms per hour. However, this may still be insufficient." B'Elanna gulped as the tall blonde stepped into her personal space, pressing her up against the wall. Placing her leg against B'Elanna's heated core, Seven purred into her ear, "I must test my theories." B'Elanna could only tremble as the full might of the Borg came to bear against its current. . . project. --- continued in 'Now Resigned'