The BLTS Archive - Love
first in the Love, Hurt, Forgiveness trilogy
by Sara (scarab@blueyonder.co.uk)

---

ARCHIVE: My page on Nautika's site, the list Archive and
anywhere else you like... just remind where it's going!

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Vanishing Point.

FEEDBACK: Yes please, helps feed the bunnies!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first part of a trilogy, which covers the
episodes from Vanishing Point to Dawn.  Although no date was given in
the show for the events in Vanishing Point, for the purpose of this
story I am using around 2nd September, Malcolm's birthday.  I hope you
enjoy it.

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I don't own Enterprise or her crew,
Paramount does (although if they ever get tired of Trip, he can put
his boots under my bed anytime!)
---

I love him.

As I watch Trip mourn me I realise how much I love that man. We've
only been dating for a few weeks although, for me at least, the
attraction started virtually from our first meeting. How anyone can
not like Trip Tucker defies logic, although talking of logic reminds
me of his constant verbal duels with our resident Vulcan. T'Pol
detests anything emotional and Trip can be as emotional as any human
can be. Personally I think in her own way she envies humans the
ability to express their feelings and for that I feel sorry for her.

Saying that as I observe Trip, I can see why emotions can be a curse.
I wish he wouldn't blame himself for my 'death' for want of a better
world. It wasn't his fault and if he had gone first, I would be
mourning him and I don't think I could live with that. I chuckle a
little at the irony of that thought. So if this is death, am I a
ghost, destined to roam the hallways of the Enterprise for evermore,
to watch the man I love tear himself apart with grief, guilt and
remorse.

As I watch him I want to touch him, hold him but I can't, we had left
everything too late. Too late to admit that we were attracted to each
other, too late to act on it and now time has run out and all that's
left are regrets. Regrets that I never told him how much I love him,
that I never got to make love to him and show how much I wanted him. I
knew Trip wanted to, well he's a man and most men want sex, but he was
prepared to wait until we knew each other better, until we were used
to our relationship. I was flattered but then again for all his
flirtatious comments, he is a gentleman, and when you see through that
outspoken brash veneer, he is quite shy and unsure of himself.

---
SEVERAL HOURS LATER

I check my appearance in the mirror in my quarters relieved that I
can see my reflection. I'm still slightly unnerved by the events that
had me trapped in the transporter buffer and I still can't believe it
was for only 8 seconds but it has made me realise that life is too
short and that you have to make things happen.

I smile as I look at the simple black dress that I had decided to
wear to Malcolm's party, pleased that for once I can dress up for a
date with Trip without the crew suspecting a thing, not too revealing
but revealing enough. After being checked by Phlox and my long
debriefing with Captain Archer and the senior staff, conscious
throughout of Trip's concerned glances, I had been able to get to my
quarters and shower. The ship had been thoroughly checked and scanned
and no alien devices had been found. Now I wait for Trip to pick me up
and I fully intend to enjoy my evening. Suddenly the chime distracts
me from my musings and giving my appearance one last check, I go to
the door.

The party had been wonderful and I had told Trip of all the things I
hadn't put in the official report like our conversation in the gym
and he grins at my response when he had suggested crawling into bed.
Now we slowly walk back to my quarters hand in hand. When we reach the
door I turn to face him.

"Do you want to come in?" I look into his eyes, hoping that I can
convey my intentions to him.

"Are ya sure?" he asks, his eyes never leaving mine.

In response I reach up and gently kiss him, then after keying my
access code lead him into the room. Once inside I wrap my arms around
his neck.

"I know you said about waiting, but what happened to me made me
realise that life is too short," I pause, my fingers absently
stroking the short hair at his nape, "I love you Trip and I don't
want to wait anymore."

"I love ya too Hosh, but I don't want t' rush ya..."

I silence him by putting a finger on his lips; he looks at me and
then lowers his head to kiss me. As the kiss deepens I feel him reach
for the zipper on my dress and I lean my body into his, feeling his
erection. I break the kiss, removing my dress and kick off my shoes,
looking up I see him staring at me I as I stand before him in my black
lacy underwear.

"They ain't Starfleet issue," he says grinning as I grab his hand and
pull him towards the bed. I unbutton his shirt, my fingers caressing
his chest, as I remove it. He pushes me onto the bed and as I feel his
weight on me, he kisses me. Our tongues duel and I roll him onto his
back, sitting up to straddle his hips.

"You're still wearing too much."

I grin down at him and slowly unbuckle his belt, undoing the button
and fly, slipping my hand inside to caress him; he groans and pulls
me back down to him, rolling me onto my back. Just as suddenly he
gets up and I realise I had closed my eyes. I open them and watch as
he removes his boots, trousers and boxers and rejoins me on the bed.
Soon my underwear has joined the pool of clothing on the floor and our
hands and lips explore each other.

"Hoshi look at me," he says as I feel his fingers stroke me and I
obey, sighing gently.

"I want you in me." I tell him breathlessly and for a moment feel
bereft as he removes his fingers. He slowly enters me and I'm touched
that he doesn't want to hurt me, but I'm impatient and grabbing his
hips pull him fully inside me. We both gasp and he holds still while I
adjust to his size. Soon he starts to slowly move his hips and I match
his slow steady rhythm. I pull his head to mine and kiss him my tongue
mimicking what his body is doing to me. As I break the kiss I wrap my
legs around his waist, his penetration getting deeper and I hear him
groan. "Harder." I gasp. Wordlessly he complies, almost pulling out of
me before slamming back in. I feel my orgasm start to build and
tighten my legs around him as he buries his face in my shoulder. I
grip onto his shoulders, my nails breaking the skin as my world
explodes; he follows shortly after, collapsing on top of me.

Later as he sleeps, I lay draped across his chest, listening to the
steady beat of his heart. I think of how my life has changed in the
last twenty-four hours. I love Trip and I know he loves me and I know
that for the first time in a long time everything is perfect.

---

continued in the second of the Love, Hurt, Forgiveness Trilogy - 'Hurt'