The BLTS Archive - An Amok Ending by Ree'sha --- Disclaimer: Paraborg own the boys, the Enterprise, and the whole Trek thing. I'm just telling them a little story, I'm sure they will find it fascinating. Archiving: ASCEM, BLTS, R'rain, anything else ask, but I'm sure I'll say yes. Thank you to Greywolf for the Vulcan words, and Mary Ellen for the quick science lesson. Please send feedback for my addiction. --- *I have killed my Captain, and my friend* Those words once again repeated themselves in the mind of Spock of Vulcan, as he stood in the turbolift. Faintly trembling with shock from what he had done. *jim…friend…brother…t'hy'la!* "What have I done?" he murmured. He had spoken briefly with McCoy in sickbay, then ignoring McCoy's request to stay, quickly left. He had seen the pity in the Doctor's eyes, and did not want the other's pity. There was only one thing that could free him from this dishonour, a'ashk'vey'Sha, ritual suicide. He would prefer death with honour than to live shamed, without honour. ... I have... Making it to his quarters without anyone seeing him was surprising, but Spock did not really care. Grief consumed him whole, not for his own death, but Jim's. He took out a tape, so that when someone found his body, the Doctor would at least understand his reasons why. There, the message was done. He programmed the computer to play it two minutes after someone entered his quarters. Only then did he change into a black robe. ... killed... Taking down the k'rith'na dagger Spock studied it, from the blade tip to the hilt. The blade was marked by the purification symbols that, by tradition, would cleanse his katra and allow it to be tsi'khri'ellh tse rha'ehn (Set Upon The Winds) without harm. Looking about the small room he decided where, and walked to his meditation alcove, dagger in hand. ... my captain... He sat down, locking his legs in the proper position. So that after he died his body would stay in the sitting posture, as part of the tradition. A trembling hand brought up the dagger to his throat, and for a moment he thought he would not be able to do it. But a mind picture of Jim, dead with the ahn-woon still wrapped around the human's fragile neck washed away all hesitation. ...and ... The k'rith'na cut deeply, severing major arteries. Blood escaped quickly, eager to be let loose from the confining flesh. As darkness swiftly embraced Spock, and consciousness fled, one last word escaped his lips. "Jim." The dagger slipped from lifeless fingers, and clattered loudly to the floor in the silent room. ...my friend ... --- "Bones!! Why won't you let me see him?" The irate and formally "deceased" Captain Kirk asked his CMO. "Well?" "Look, Jim. You didn't see him. He-" Kirk cut off what McCoy was saying. "Yes. He thinks he's killed me. What do you think he's feeling?" Kirk didn't wait for McCoy to speak. "Well, I'll tell you. He's feeling guilty, and probably horrified at what he's done. Do you really want him to keep feeling that?" McCoy realized his mistake, and knew he should have let Kirk talk to Spock while he was in sickbay. "Alright, we'd better see him before he resigns and has himself charged with murder." was the grumbled reply. Kirk stopped at the comm and called the bridge. "Set a course back for Altair 4, warp 6." After receiving an affirmative, they left in the direction of the first officer's quarter. "Hang on, let me go back and get my med kit. I'll have to check him over." Kirk waited as McCoy went returned to sickbay, and came back a few minutes later. They buzzed, but the door stayed shut, with no sound coming from inside. Kirk and McCoy exchanged puzzled glances, then Kirk punched in the override for the door and they moved inside. In the dim lit quarter all they could see was a dark shrouded shape in one corner. "Spock? Are you alright?" McCoy's nose twitched, what was that smell? It was familiar, but he couldn't place it. "It's okay, Spock. You haven't killed, Jim." Kirk became impatient waiting, and brought the lights up to the normal setting. Both men gasped in shock at the figure they saw. A deep cut in the Vulcan's throat, the blood... the blood was everywhere; it had flowed down the body and now pooled on the floor. The dagger smeared by the green liquid. They rushed over and McCoy felt for a pulse, but couldn't find one. After fumbling for the tricorder, it was quickly aimed at the still sitting Spock. It hummed and whirled, and the Doctor frowned at its answer. "I'm sorry, Jim." "What? He... he can't be!" Kirk looked at McCoy with pleading eyes. Then he reached out and brushed his fingertips against a cheek. "Bones, he's still warm." McCoy swallowed hard, hating what he had to say. "Spock's been dead only for a few minutes." "You mean if we'd arrived five minutes earlier he wouldn't be . . . dead?" He choked on the last word. "We could have saved him?" Kirk demanded. Before McCoy could reply, Spock's computer beeped and the view screen came to life. "Doctor. As you know of my demise by now, you will no doubt be asking why. Thinking it is not logical to take one's own life. What I have done stems back to the time before Surak, when warrior brothers would fight side by side. I have called Jim brother, and with his death, I can not bear to live with my betrayal. The figure paused, "I have loved Jim for one point six years now, and I regret," the voice softened, "that I never told him. Live long and prosper, Leonard." McCoy turned to Kirk, and saw him shaking, tears streaming down his face. "Oh, Spock. Why didn't you tell me?" He collapsed against McCoy and buried his face in the other's neck, sobbing freely now. When Kirk had finished McCoy took him back to his quarters, and gave him a sedative. Then went to the intercom to arrange for the body to be taken to the morgue. --- One year later Captain Kirk was declared dead, while in Tholian space. --- The End