The BLTS Archive- Falling in Love Again
by Reanne Moreau (reannem1@att.net)

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Star Trek Voyager and all the characters are the property of
Paramount.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Please feel free
to archive this anywhere, including Jupiter Station.

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Facing into the coming storm, she looked out over the unending blanket
of forest below.  Chin tilted into the wind, back perfectly straight,
she seemed to defy the storm to touch her.  She faced it with the
rock-steady gaze which had confronted so many enemies on the bridge
viewscreen.  The wind whipped the uniform around her slim figure.  Her
hair was being worn long again, bound in a ponytail from which several
strands had escaped.

Pushing aside the heavy bough of an alien tree, he saw her standing at
the top of the ridge, right where his tricorder said she would be.  He
paused to watch for a moment.

He must have made some noise, because she suddenly turned in his
direction. Her stern expression evaporated into a welcoming smile.
"Tom, what are you doing here?"

"Making sure my commanding officer has sense enough to come in out of
the rain. Looks like I'm just in time."

"The storm is magnificent.  Come take a look."

It moved like a dark curtain over the landscape, drawing rain and
thunderclouds across the sun.  The tempest was moving rapidly towards
them.  Their tricorders had picked it up nearly an hour ago and
Janeway had ordered everyone on the away team to take shelter, and if
possible, to gather in groups.

Voyager had been in orbit since yesterday while the Engineering staff
did system maintenance.  One of the first things taken off-line was
the transporter, which had been malfunctioning.  Survey parties had
taken shuttles to the surface to mark locations for later teams that
would gather supplies and mine the many minerals that had been
detected by the ship's scanners.

Janeway's party was the first down and had traveled quite a distance
from their shuttle by the time the distress call came in from an alien
ship at the edge of communications range.  Their warp core was about
to go critical.  The captain ordered Chakotay to take Voyager to their
aide, leaving the survey party to finish their task.  The ship would
be back in the morning to pick them up. Then the storm had been
detected.

It was moving rapidly across the valley below them.  Finally, Janeway
decided it was time to leave.

"Come with me; I've found a place to wait this out."  She scrambled
down the stoney slope of the ridge like a mountain goat, Paris
following after, wind and rain nipping at their heels.

Reaching the bottom, they found themselves once again surrounded by
enormous trees.  They were at least as tall as the giant redwoods
found in California, with flat green needles.  The captain led Tom
under a section of rock that jutted out from the cliff face about
seven feet up, forming a kind of shelf. The giant trees grew right up
to the edge of the shelf, their boughs walling in three sides.  The
ground was covered with dried needles several feet thick.

Tom skidded into the shelter just ahead of the rain and flopped onto
the soft ground.  "Cozy little nest you've got here."

"Make yourself right at home, Lieutenant."  Kathryn couldn't help
smiling.  Tom could make himself comfortable just about anywhere.
Suddenly the prospect of being stuck on this planet for several hours
didn't seem so bad.

The captain paced the confines of their shelter as she contacted the
rest of the away team to make sure they had found safe places to wait
out the weather. Tom regarded her from under nearly closed eyelids. He
liked watching her pace.  He could see the wheels turning in her mind
as she received reports, gave orders and doled out advice.  Her
considerable physical energy was temporarily leashed, denied the
opportunity to scramble around hillsides, jump off of cliffs or any of
the other things she usually got into on away missions.  For a moment
Paris allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to be the focus
of that energy.

Finally Janeway had contacted the last member of the team and found
herself with absolutely nothing to do.  She regarded the man lolling
indolently on the floor of the shelter, his hands clasped behind his
head, forming a pillow.  His long lean form was draped gracefully over
the ground.  She noted with approval that he had lost weight and put
on muscle.  When things had soured with B'Elanna, Tom had fallen into
depression, losing interest in the swimming, volleyball and other
activities that he had always enjoyed.  The Doctor had finally given
him a stern lecture on the state of his health.  The strict exercise
regimen that the EMH imposed seemed to raise his spirits, as had the
extra time the captain devoted to helping him over the crisis.

Kathryn sank to the soft ground with her back against the rock wall.
A grin lurked at the corners of her mouth.  "Ensign Carver sounded a
little put out. I gather she went looking for you to help you weather
the storm."

"That's one way of putting it."  Tom reached for his discarded field
pack and took out his flashlight. What little light had penetrated the
shelter was now being gradually blocked out by the clouds. Kathryn
added her own flashlight to Tom's in the center of the shelter.  On
their lowest setting they cast a circle of mellow light.

She was surprised at Tom's reluctance to date again now that he was a
'free man.'  It certainly wasn't because of a lack of opportunity.
"You know you'll have to stop running eventually or they'll stop
chasing you."

"I'm more particular these days about who I let catch me."  Tom's
dazzling smile could have lit up the darkness by itself.

They sat side by side in the small circle of light.  A sudden gust of
wind set the branches surrounding their shelter rustling and howled
through the unprotected opening.  No rain actually reached them, but
the temperature had dropped considerably.  The eery sounds of the
storm reminded them that they were alone on an uninhabited planet,
isolated from the other members of the away team. Kathryn shivered and
folded her arms around her upraised knees.

Tom reached for his pack again.  These days he didn't go anywhere
without a medical kit.  He withdrew the thermal blanket, folded into a
tiny silver square.  "Never let it be said that I'm not always
prepared for an emergency."

"Don't tell me you were a scout.  I wouldn't believe it."

"Behave yourself or I'll let you freeze."  Tom draped the unfolded
blanket around Kathryn's shoulders.  She took one of his hands as he
attempted to tuck the voluminous fabric around her.

"Your hands are as cold as mine.  Get under here with me."  The
captain rolled her eyes as Tom hesitated.  This was a fine time for
him to start worrying about decorum.  "That wasn't a request,
Lieutenant."

"Anything you say, Captain."  The amused glint in his eyes told
Kathryn that he would find some way to tease her about this in the
future.  Paris draped the blanket loosely around his shoulders, leaned
against the stone wall of their shelter and motioned Kathryn to join
him.

She leaned somewhat awkwardly against his chest and Tom closed his
arms around her, wrapping them both in the silver blanket.  Kathryn
really couldn't help turning toward the warmth of his body and after
some hesitation, Tom tucked an arm around her waist, finding that she
fit very nicely into his embrace.  The hair clip had to go; no matter
what position they took up, it managed to poke him in the chest.
Finally they found a comfortable spot and settled in to listen to the
wind howl through the trees.

Kathryn shivered pleasurably as thunder cracked in the distance and
rain drummed on the roof of their shelter.  "There's nothing quite as
comforting as being safe and warm while there's a good storm howling
outside."

"Maybe it'll help you sleep."  The Doctor had expressed his concern
about the captain's most recent bout of insomnia and suggested that
some fresh air and exercise might be the cure.

"I doubt it.  Nothing seems to work these days."

He had to tread carefully here.  The captain was a very private person
and getting her to open up wasn't always easy.  "You haven't been
yourself for quite a while.  Not since we got those letters from
home."  He hesitated, not wanting to push her too far.  "Talk to me,
Kathryn.  You've always been there for me, especially after I broke up
with B'Elanna.  It's my turn to listen."

A small smile tugged at her lips as she turned to be able to see Tom's
face better.  He'd been doing that more often lately, slipping and
calling her 'Kathryn' without really being aware he had done it. Her
heart always lifted at the sound of his voice saying her name.  A sigh
escaped her lips as she settled back onto Tom's shoulder.

"Have I been that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows you as well as I do.  Rumor has it that
your fiance got married.  That's enough to get anyone depressed."

Kathryn gave a small chuckle.  "I'm always amazed at the rumor mill on
this ship.  The crew probably knew what my letter said before I was
done reading it."  She glanced up at Tom's face.  His concern for her
was obvious.  It was always so easy to talk to him; there was very
little she couldn't tell this kind, gentle man.

"I'm not suffering from a broken heart, Tom.  My engagement to Mark
lasted longer than some marriages.  At some point we both came to
realize the wedding would probably never happen."  She remembered
their time together with affection.  "Mark is probably happier now
than he would have been with me." Paris raised a skeptical eyebrow and
she continued.  "He was always supportive of my work, but I knew he
wanted me to take a teaching position at the Academy so we could
settle down and start a family.  The truth is, I was comfortable with
things the way they were."

"I can't imagine you anywhere but on the bridge of a starship."

"Neither can I."  Steel-gray eyes met blue and shared a moment of
complete understanding.  Neither of them was made for an earthbound
existence.

Tom resisted the temptation to lose himself in those remarkable eyes
and prodded her for more information.  "So, if your heart isn't
broken, what's wrong?"

Kathryn sighed deeply.  It was hard to put into words the feeling of
general malaise that had settled on her the last few months.  "I've
just been feeling ... unsettled.  Lonely, a little depressed."  She
gave a rueful grin.  "I always cut my hair when I'm depressed."

"Then you must be feeling better."  Tom played with a strand of the
shining auburn hair that now hung below her shoulders.

"A little.  Passing through that void was the low point."  It felt so
good to finally have someone to talk to.  Discussing emotional crises
with Tuvok was pretty much useless, and having this conversation with
Chakotay would be completely impossible.  He would treat her like she
was made of glass; he always did whenever she displayed any
vulnerability.  Kathryn gathered her thoughts.

"I've never been one of those people who has to be involved in a
relationship to be happy."  A warm smile lit up her face and took
Tom's breath away.  "Now, my sister Phoebe had to have a date every
Saturday night or it was a tragedy of epic proportions.  She has
always been miserable unless she's in love."  Affection for her sister
shone through the exasperation in her tone.  "It just happened that
Ifell in love with Justin when I was still at the Academy, and as soon
as I'd finished grieving his death, there was Mark.  As much as I
loved them both, I needed to find out who I am without them."

"I can tell you that."  Paris was wearing that smart-ass grin that
both delighted and annoyed her. "Kathryn Janeway is a crazy woman who
jumps off cliffs in primitive flying machines, scaring the *hell* out
of her entire crew.  She was born with a phaser compression rifle in
her hands and secretly enjoys blowing things up.  Ouch!"  He trapped
both of her arms in his embrace to avoid further elbows in the ribs.
"She's tougher than any Borg and kind to children, aliens and ex-
convicts.  She's the heart and soul of Voyager."  He had a firm grip
now, not that his victim was struggling much. His mouth near her ear,
he spoke quietly.  "And she's the best thing that ever happened to
me."

Kathryn wondered if he could hear her heart leap.  She was a little
disappointed when he released his restraining hold.  She searched his
face for any clue to what his last words meant.  Tom had never been
shy about declaring his gratitude for her help and continuing
friendship, but there had been something more in his voice.  She
dropped her glance before it turned into a stare.

"I've come to pretty much the same conclusions about the crazy part.
I'm not the same woman who came to the Delta quadrant.  Or maybe I've
gotten back to that teenager who used to climb out her bedroom window
to go off adventuring."  She hesitated a bit.  "I've also realized
that I've been alone too long."

"Then let someone love you, Kathryn."

"Not Chakotay.  There was a time when I thought we might ... We would
have ended up the same way you and B'Elanna did, but I don't know if
our friendship would have survived, or our ability to work together."

A cloud passed over Tom's face and Kathryn kicked herself for
reminding him of the breakup.

"The only reason we're still friends is that we bailed out before
things turned nasty.  By the time we figured out that sex and
friendship don't equal love, ...Let's just say we were lucky."  He
cleared his throat and looked down at his captain.  She had placed a
sympathetic hand on his chest and was regarding him with concern in
those extraordinary gray eyes.  He had never seen such a kissable face
in his entire life.

"So, not Chakotay.  I didn't think so."  He frantically sought a
distraction. "How about Neelix, he's always had a crush on you."
Good.  He'd made her laugh and stop looking at him like *that.*

"I don't think so, Tom.  And before you mention it, not Tuvok, either.
And don't even think about Harry."

Tom snickered.  "Not unless you've grown some implants I don't know
about."  He blushed furiously the moment the words were out of his
mouth, realizing that they could be taken to refer to more than 7's
alien hardware.

Kathryn was laughing hysterically when Tom's combadge beeped.  He
hesitated a moment before answering the hail.  "You know you have
other options, Kathryn."

That stopped her giggles quite effectively.  Before she could think of
a reply, he was speaking to Yeoman Kowalski and Ensign Singh, who were
getting spooked by the storm and looking for a friendly voice to
remind them that they weren't completely alone.

Afterwards Kathryn wasn't really sure if she or Tom had thought of the
idea first.  Telling really bad ghost stories on a dark and stormy
night proved to be just what the stranded away team needed. Some of
the stories were silly enough to cure anybody of a case of the creeps.
It wasn't long before the entire landing party was taking part.
Suddenly the groups seemed less isolated.

It was somewhere in a very long Bolian version of 'the ghost with the
golden arm' that Tom realized Kathryn had drifted off.  He had become
accustomed to her head resting on his shoulder, the slight weight of
her body snuggled in the crook of his arm.

She slept with an expression of contentment on her face, like a cat
curled on a sunny windowsill. When Tom moved slightly she followed
him, sighing and snuggling deeper into his embrace.  He just sat there
looking at her, dumbfounded, and reflecting that starship captains
were supposed to be many things, but adorable wasn't one of them.
They especially weren't supposed to be adored by lowly lieutenants.

He became distantly aware of the Bolian's voice droning on and tapped
his combadge.  "Sorry to interrupt your story, Chel, but the captain
just conked out.  I think we'll both call it a night."  He signed off
to a chorus of whispered 'good nights.'

Tom stroked her hair gently as he cradled her.  "Is that what you
needed to fall asleep, Kathryn, someone to hold you?"

---

The storm had gone by the time Kathryn woke in the morning.  The first
rays of sunlight were just beginning to creep into the shelter.

It took a few minutes for her brain to process the information of her
senses and come to a conclusion about her location.  She was lying on
a soft bed of 'pine' needles.  The rough material of a uniform jacket
scratched her cheek, and under the uniform a heart beat slow and
steadily.

Kathryn stretched lazily, remembering the delightful feeling of
falling asleep in Tom's arms.  She was still nestled comfortably
against his chest, although they must have stretched out on the ground
at some point in the night.  She propped herself up on one elbow to
watch him sleep.

There was an innocence about his face in repose.  The first time she
had seen him from a distance in New Zealand she had thought he had the
face of a fallen angel.  Something in him had touched her deeply that
first day; in his guarded, sometimes hostile eyes she had caught a
glimpse of the man she now knew.

Almost unconsciously, she reached out to brush his cheek with the back
of her hand.  He had changed so much during their journey.  Or maybe
being cut off from home had freed him to be his true self.

Lt. Paris was becoming a fine young officer.  He was finally letting
his natural intelligence and leadership ability shine through.  His
confidence in himself as an officer had improved a great deal, but on
a personal level, he was still riddled with insecurities.  Those
insecurities coupled with B'Elanna's had doomed their relationship
from the beginning.

"What you need is someone to show you how to be loved."

Kathryn contemplated snuggling back onto Tom's chest and dozing for a
while longer.  She sighed. What she would really like to do was to
kiss those sweet lips and wake him slowly in her arms. There wasn't
much point in pretending to herself that she wasn't falling for the
young man.  That self-deception had worn thin long ago.  She made a
deal with herself.  One quick indulgence and she would get up, go in
search of the rest of the away team and start behaving like a captain
again, not a love-sick teenager.  The words 'You know you have other
options, Kathryn' echoed in her mind and she pushed them away.
Clinging to hope only made the disappointment worse.

She leaned over Tom's sleeping form, careful not to awaken him with
her movement.  The slightest brush of his warm soft lips with her own
and she began to move away.  Until strong arms clasped her to his
chest and she found herself rolled onto her back.  The heat and weight
of his body pressed her to the soft ground and her kiss was being
passionately returned.

Tom let Kathryn feel the hunger as he slowly devoured her lips like a
man savoring his first food after near starvation.  Her moan as his
tongue slipped into her mouth only added fuel to the fire. Kathryn's
hands slipped beneath the untucked uniform shirt, mapping the muscles
of his back.

He pulled his mouth away, forced to gasp for air.  Burning blue eyes
searched her face and found an answering heat.  A uniform clad thigh
gently insinuated itself between her legs.  "Good morning, Captain."

---

The End