The BLTS Archive - Thanks To Circe 
by mtranc3

---

Published: 03-05-07 - Updated: 03-05-07

Spoilers: Not any in particular, but I'd say Season 1, just to be on
the safe side.

Warnings: Slash, Unbeta'd

Author's notes: This is my first attempt on Star Trek fanfiction. I
have only watched season 1 so far, and read a handful of fics,
therefore I'm quite new to both canon and fanon. If you spot anything
grossly out of place, feel free to correct me.

Feedback: Yes, please!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, no profit is being made.

---
Captain's log, Stardate: 3308.4


On our way to planet Sigma VI-A of the S35 A-C complex, we picked up a
distress signal coming from an uncharted asteroid 2.1 light years
away from our destination. Scanners report an O2/N atmosphere, and the
presence of living creatures. I've decided to deviate from our course
in order to investigate. Myself, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy will be
beaming down on the planet leaving Mr. Scott in command of the ship.

---

"Energize."

As they re-materialised on the surface of the planet Captain James
Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy found themselves in what could only be
described as a tropical paradise: palm trees with vegetation in many
colourful varieties were growing in abundance, and the climate was
comfortably warm. Jim's first thought was that this place could prove
an ideal location for shore leave. A beeping sound diverted his
attention to his communicator.

"Captain, Lt. Uhura here. Sir, we've stopped receiving the distress
call."

"Are you certain, Miss Uhura?"

"Yes, sir, I've checked all frequencies.  It's not there."

"Thank you, let me know if it comes up again. Captain out."

Dr. McCoy pursed his lips. "A trap, Jim?"

"We're already down here, so we might as well look around. Mr. Spock?"

The First Officer looked up from his tricorder.

"Are you getting any readings?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, Captain. As our life sensors indicated,
there indeed seems to be life on this planet.  As to what form..."

His query was however answered when they saw an old woman
approaching. She was dressed in a long, elegant gown and was carrying
a golden cane with a transparent sphere on the top.

"Welcome to Lavinia. I am Neandra."

The Doctor looked at Jim questioningly, but the Captain bowed his
head and greeted the woman.

"My name is James Kirk. I am Captain of the USS Enterprise of the
United Federation of Planets. This is Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy." They
both gave a polite nod, and the Captain continued, "We received a
distress signal coming from your planet..."

The old lady seemed puzzled. "We do not possess the means to alert
others to our planet. I do not understand...'

Mr. Spock raised an eyebrow. "The signal was pinpointed at this exact
location..."

"Nevertheless, there must have been a mistake..."

The men looked at each other quizzically, and Neandra continued,

"I regret you had to come here for nothing, but please allow me to
offer you our hospitality. We've had many visitors in the past, but it
has been a long while since anyone last visited..."

Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock moved closer to the Captain. "What do you make
of this, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked, keeping his voice low.

"The visitors she spoke of must not have been of the Federation
because there are no records of this planet. Therefore it could prove
a good opportunity to enrich our knowledge of foreign cultures..."

"Bones?"

"She seems humanoid, but I'd have to get a closer look for a proper
examination..."

The Captain shrugged, and turned to the woman. "Neandra, we accept 
your hospitality, and we would be very glad if we could exchange
information about our cultures."

She nodded smiling, and gestured them to follow her. The Captain
switched on his communicator and explained their situation to Mr.
Scott.

The party begun walking through a narrow path, often obscured by
close-knit leaves and branches. Neandra was silent ,so the Captain
tried to probe her for more information.

"How many of you live on this planet?"

"It's just my daughters and I. My husband died not long ago."

Mr. Spock raised his eyebrows questioningly, and Jim turned to the
lady once again "You mean to say you're all alone in this planet?"

"There once were many of us..."

"What happened?"

The woman sighed. She looked sad for a moment, but shook her head and
kept walking. "The women of my race were cursed to give birth only to
women. My husband was the last man of our race."

Dr. McCoy's eyes widened "You are the last ones of your kind?"

Neandra smiled sadly. "We angered the Gods; this was our punishment.
But look, this is our village. It has known many happy days, but alas,
all good things must regretfully come to an end."

The village was a small accumulation of wooden houses, weathered, but
apparently still in good condition. Colourful fabrics and ornaments
decorated the outside façades, but the cheerful effect was somewhat 
subdued by the eerie absence of inhabitants. They went round one of 
the biggest houses and in the back there was a small garden. Six young 
girls were taking refuge in the shade of the trees, fanning themselves 
with leaves and talking idly.

When they saw their mother, they immediately stood up and
straightened their clothes. Jim noticed that they were all dressed in
the same fashion; long, elaborate gowns and bared shoulders, but their
faces were the most striking of all; all six girls were extremely
beautiful, their hair was shinning, and their cheeks were a healthy
pink.

Jim swallowed hard and Mr. Spock seemed to almost roll his eyes.

"Girls, we have visitors. These men came from a place far away. I
trust you to show them the hospitality the Lavinians were always
praised for."

The girls smiled shyly and approached. Dr. McCoy's mouth hung slightly
open; they were even more beautiful from a closer view. His heartbeat
sightly rose, and he found he had some difficulty breathing.
Apparently the Captain was in no better position, having three of
these divine creatures around him. Only Mr. Spock looked normal, and
was engaged in earnest conversation with one of the girls.

Neandra came back carrying a tray with an assortment of fruits and
drinks. They all sat down in one of the many chaises, and a party of
sorts ensued. Some of the girls were really young when the planet last
had any visitors and they didn't remember much. Therefore, they were
naturally curious about their guests. Jim's talent for easy
conversation had them 'oohing' and giggling, and soon the gathering
became a full-fledged party. The youngest of the girls, Marysia,
brought out an organ that looked like a harp and started playing, and
the girl who was talking with Dr. McCoy pulled him by the sleeve for a
dance.

Mr. Spock observed alarmingly that his friends looked mildly
inebriated. It couldn't have been due to their drinks, since they were
fruit extracted; the only logical explanation for their out of 
character behaviour was of the presence of the girls. As to why, Mr. 
Spock was at loss to say. They were undeniably fine specimens, 
charming, polite and unquestionably beautiful, but other
than that, there didn't seem to be anything extraordinary about them.

The girl who was talking to Mr. Spock frowned momentarily at the loss
of his attention.

"Do you dance, Mr. Spock?"

"Only if I can't avoid it," he replied, and she looked puzzled.

Jim turned to them and smiled. "Mr. Spock here is a man of logic and 
there is no logic in dancing, is there Mr. Spock?"

"Quite the contrary, Captain. Dancing in the ancient times was used as
a means to precede other activities, such as tribal rituals, fighting,
or even reproduction... it is because of the energy that courses
through the body while one is dancing that prepares it for said
activities. When society evolved, and with it, ethical boundaries,
dancing evolved as well, to a social activity..."

The girls burst out into giggles, and Mr. Spock looked mildly
affronted. Jim shook his head laughingly.

"Whatever shall we do with you, Mr. Spock?" he asked and then pulled
one of the girls for a dance.

Spock knew of Jim's soft spot for the opposite gender, but his actions
were a bit odd. The doctor's as well. Well, he always found Dr. McCoy
odd, but at that time even more so.

Neandra gestured her daughter to make room, and sat elegantly beside
him.

"You are different from your friends, Mr. Spock. You do not seem to
enjoy the company of my daughters..."

"They are charming, and you have raised them well, given the
circumstances," he offered. Neandra smiled at him, and asked him about
his culture. They begun talking and it was after a while that Mr.
Spock noticed the Captain had left the garden. They would have to beam
up soon, and his absence was slightly alarming. Dr. McCoy was lying
with down with his head resting in one of the girl's lap, and he was
snoozing softly. Mr. Spock scoffed at the sight and extracted himself
from Neandra's company.

"I'm afraid I must go and find the Captain; it is time that we left."

"Are you sure you wish to disturb him?

Spock gave her a curious look "I'm afraid, I do not understand."

She shook her head knowingly. "Best to wait..." but Mr. Spock had
already switched on his communicator.

"Mr. Spock to Captain Kirk... come in, Captain."

There was no reply and that definitely qualified for an alarming
situation in Spock's mind. He set out intent to find out what was
going on.

A rustling sound was coming from what looked like a clearing, and Mr.
Spock approached apprehensively. What he saw stopped him dead on his
tracks. Jim, naked from the waist above, had one of the girls pushed
up against a tree, and was kissing her wildly, trying to rid of her
clothes. She was moaning appreciatively, and Spock realized what
Neandra had meant back in the garden. He quickly made to leave but the
movement caught Jim's attention and he spotted him. His eyes widened
in surprise. Spock shook his head as an apology for the intrusion and
left quickly. It was only after he had gone back to the garden that he
stopped to catch his breath. The place was deserted save from Dr.
McCoy and the girl who was now sleeping as well.

Spock heard steps and saw the Captain coming out of the bushes. His
shirt was back on, but his hair was dishevelled.

"Captain, I --" Mr. Spock started, but Jim raised his hand. "No need
for explanation, Mr. Spock. I only wanted to inform you that I've
decided we will be spending the night here. We will beam back up to
the ship in the morning. I've already informed the Enterprise."

If Mr. Spock was surprised by this, he didn't show it.

"May I inquire the reason for our staying, Captain?"

"No, Mr. Spock, you may not," Jim replied in a voice indicating that
the subject was closed, before disappearing into the bushes once more.

Spock was really puzzled now. The Captain may be overly influenced by
the opposite sex, but he was also a disciplined man... his actions
didn't make sense at all.

Spock gave Dr. McCoy last glance before deciding on a course of
action. He took out his communications device.

"Lt Uhura, Mr. Spock here. Please inform Miss Chapel to get ready and
beam down immediately."

"Is there anything the matter, sir?"

"I do not know yet, Miss Uhura. Spock out."

He stood waiting for a while until a flashing light alerted him to
Miss. Chapel's transportation. She had beamed down in the middle of
the garden, and the first thing she saw upon re-materializing was Dr.
McCoy sleeping peacefully on the lap of a young girl. She gave them a
surprised look and made her way towards Mr. Spock, glancing back at
the odd sight, to confirm she had seen right.

"Mr. Spock! What is Dr. McCoy doing?"

"That is exactly what you are here to find out Miss Chapel. I see 
you have your medical tricorder with you. Now if you please, examine 
the girl and see if there's anything out of the ordinary about her, 
but try not to wake her up."

The nurse nodded and took out her scanner. She knelt carefully next to
the girl and run the scanner once all over her. She gave the tricorder
a disbelieving look, and run the scanner once more. She stood up and
went back to Mr. Spock.

"Everything looks normal, except one thing..."

That was what Mr. Spock was expecting to hear, he gestured for Miss
Chapel to continue.

"The glands that produce a hormone called pheromone are extremely
over-active."

"If I am not mistaken Miss Chapel, this hormone is involved in the
attraction of the opposite sex for the purposes of mating."

"Yes, but at these amounts..."

"They could almost act as an enchantment," Mr. Spock finished the
sentence for her.

"That would very well explain Dr. McCoy's and the Captain's 
behaviour. The Vulcan physiology is quite different; the females do 
not secrete such hormones, therefore we do not have the receptors for 
them. That's
why I wasn't influenced."

Miss Chapel seemed to understand, and gave Dr. McCoy another look,
softer this time.

"Wake Dr. McCoy up and explain, but do not wake the girl, and keep him
away from her. I shall go find the Captain."

"Yes, Mr. Spock."

Mr. Spock set out for the clearing once more, weary at what he mighty
encounter this time, but the situation had changed; it seemed like the
women on this planet had a hidden agenda.

To his relief, the Captain and the girl were merely sitting on the
ground. The girl was asleep and Jim was looking at her lovingly,
running his fingers through her hair.

Mr. Spock bent down next to them and gestured for Jim to follow him.
Jim looked a bit disgruntled for a moment, but stood up and they moved
a good distance away from the girl so as not to wake her up.

"Well? What is it, Mr. Spock?"

"I have a very interesting piece of information, Captain. Miss Chapel
examined one of the girls --"

Jim looked up sharply. "Miss Chapel? What is she doing here?"

"I asked for her Captain."

"I did not give permission for her beaming down, Mr. Spock."

"I know, Captain, but I deemed it necessary given yours and Dr.
McCoy's strange behaviour..."

"Strange?" Jim whispered-yelled incredulously. "This," he gestured
between himself and the girl, "is only human."

Mr. Spock pursed his lips. "If you'll allow me to finish, Captain..."

Jim folded his arms but remained silent.

"Upon examination Miss. Chapel found out that these women secrete
large amounts of pheromone, a hormone that's usually secreted when
females of a species try to attract a mate. They act as subconscious
signals, but at these quantities they can evidently directly influence
a man's behaviour."

The Captain furrowed his eyebrows as the information sunk in.

"Neandra said it herself -- they are the last of their kind. They 
might be using us in order to continue their line."

Jim was starting to feel shaky. He did recall feeling a persistent
tugging when he was with the girl -Ilianna. Could it be the result of
these hormones?

He exhaled, making up his mind. "Come on, we must find the others, and
get back to the ship." When Mr. Spock wasn't looking, he gave the
sleeping girl once last glance.

A funny sight greeted them once they were back to the garden. Miss
Chapel was trying to contain a giddy Dr. McCoy, who was yelling that 
he wanted to keep dancing. The girl that was with him was trying to 
take his hands, but Miss Chapel was batting them away.

"What's this commotion? Karin, stop!"

They all turned to the direction of the voice; Neandra was standing in
the entrance of the garden looking vexed. The girl released Dr. McCoy
immediately and went by her side.

Jim gave her a resentful look. "I would thank you for your hospitality
were you not trying to manipulate us... Me and my crew are leaving
this instant." He made to switch on his communicator, but Neandra
started him by hitting her cane on the ground twice.

"You are not to leave. You are to stay here with us."

All of her daughters appeared in the garden one by one, walking
slowly, their flawless faces darkening in the waning light. Jim felt
his concentration wavering again, as primal instincts took over.

"Captain..." Mr. Spock said hurriedly, but Jim had a predatory look on
his face as the girl from before appeared out of the trees.

Spock decided to take matters to his own hands and took out his own
communicator.

"NO!" Neandra screamed. "Take it away from him!" He was too quick for
them though,

"Miss Uhura, lock in on us and beam us up immediately. Have a medical
team stand by."

"You cannot leave!" Neandra screamed again, but the rest of her
words were lost as the world around them begun to dissolve.

----

"...full report will follow." The yeoman nodded and left the bridge.

Captain Kirk turned to Mr. Sulu. "I'm leaving you in my stead for a
while, Mr. Sulu. The good doctor insists that I drop by the sickbay."

"Aye, aye, Sir," Mr. Sulu replied smiling and Jim set off for the
sickbay. Mr. Spock was already there, although he had argued with the
doctor that, since he clearly hadn't been influenced by those
creatures, there was nothing to be examined for.

When Jim entered the sickbay, Mr. Spock was lying on a bed, and Dr.
McCoy was looking at his readings on the signs board above the bed.

"Well, everything seems to be in order..."

"Naturally, Doctor. After all, I wasn't the one that was dancing as
if, like you humans put it, 'there was no tomorrow'..."

Bones looked ready to burst out in indignation and Jim gave a
cough-laugh.

"Jim." The doctor gestured him in, ignoring the laugh. "Sit over there
and take off your shirt. We need to see if your hormones are back to
normal levels."

The Captain rolled his eyes but complied. He saw with the corner of
his eye Spock looking away when he took off his shirt and the
movement puzzled him.

The doctor took his scanner and went over to examine him, but was
interrupted by the nurse's voice on the intercommunication requesting
his presence in the surgery room.

"You are free to go, Mr. Spock. I'll be back in a moment, Jim. Don't
leave," he added for good measure.

"You know how I love being in the sickbay, Bones," Jim joked and
watched the doctor go.

Mr. Spock made to leave as well, but Jim stopped him. He struggled
internally for a moment, not knowing how to say it.

"Mr. Spock, about the incident..."

"No need for explanation, Captain," Mr. Spock hastened to add.

"I just wanted to say that if there's any embarrassment to be felt, it
should be on my part."

Mr. Spock shook his head, but kept his look fixed on a distant point
on the wall. "There's no need for embarrassment in either side. Your
actions were clearly influenced by the prolonged exposure to the
hormone, and need I remind you that embarrassment is an emotion and as
such, I'm incapable of experiencing it."

Jim nodded slowly, deciding not to push the matter further, and
allowed his first officer to return to his duties. But something about
Spock's rigid manner made him question whether he was indeed as
comfortable with what happened as he claimed to be.

----

He was trying to make his way out of the dark forest, but no matter
which direction he was taking, he seemed to be arriving at the same
clearing over and over again. Someone appeared through the trees and
moved towards him, but Spock wasn't alarmed. His body instead tensed
up in anticipation, but the surroundings suddenly changed and he found
himself sitting by his console on the bridge. He heard a yelping noise
and turned to find the Captain advancing towards Lt. Uhura, with a
strange gleam in his eyes. Lt. Uhura just smiled and opened her arms.
Spock then gazed away, and sat on the Captain's chair trying to focus
on the screen. The noises behind him stopped and he felt fingers
threading through his hair and stopping on the side of his forehead,
applying slight pressure there, and a commanding voice saying 'Become
one with me' before he woke up with a start.

Spock lay on the bed panting for a moment; the dream was rapidly
slipping away from his conscious grip. There was no doubt however,
that the other person throughout the dream was Jim, and that it was
probably a result of what he had witnessed on that planet. But why
should he dream of something like that when he and the Captain had
already made amends of sorts on what Spock had walked in?

He decided that it must be the peculiar psychological effect of having
a situation inflating when one is trying to ignore it, or suppress it,
that was taking a toll on his human part. And Spock did try to ignore
it when the image popped in at the most inappropriate times, and
having a Vulcan half made him very good at ignoring it. That was
probably why it was manifesting through his subconscious and into his
dreams.

Spock sighed for a second, and then frowned again; he wasn't entirely
satisfied with the explanation, but it would have to do until he found
a more sufficient one.

---

Jim sat up from his chair at the bridge and turned to his first
officer, "Mr. Spock have you retrieved the information I asked for 
from the library?"

"Yes, Captain," Spock answered "I've put all the relevant information 
I could find into this tape.

Jim moved to take the tape, but Mr. Spock was quicker than him, and
left it on the arm of his seat. Jim could swear that this was the
Vulcan equivalent of flinching and, coming from Mr. Spock, perplexed
him even more.

And it wasn't the first time Spock had acted like this either. When
Jim would go near his console to see something, Spock would
immediately sit up and move away. When they happened to take the
elevator together, Spock would stand in the far corner, and when Jim
suggested a game of three-dimensional chess, Spock would always turn
it down.

If Jim wasn't mistaken, the reason for Spock's strange behaviour had
to be the incident on that asteroid a couple of weeks ago, but as to
why Spock was reacting so badly, Jim could not answer.

He had also felt embarrassed himself, especially because it was Spock
who was involved, but Jim was a military man, and tended to easily
overcome sensitivities like that.

He gave Mr. Spock another glance; he seemed to be deeply absorbed by
his small screen.

"Mr. Spock?"

Spock looked up from the console,to a spot somewhere above the
Captain's head.

"Come with me, please. There are some matters we need to discuss."

Spock raised his eyebrows, but he nodded in agreement.

"Steady as she goes, Mr. Sulu."

"Yes, Sir."

They left the bridge and went to the debriefing room. Jim gestured for
Spock to have a seat, but he remained standing.

"Mr. Spock, I'm asking you like this because, aside from being my
first officer, you are also my friend. Now is there anything you
wanted to discuss with me? Anything at all?"

Spock gave him a curious look. "I don't think I understand, 
Captain..."

"These past few days, your behaviour towards me seems altered, and
don't try to convince me otherwise, Mr. Spock. We both know it's 
true."

"Sir, I continue not to not understand what you're trying to say..."
Spock replied, but his expression had stopped being curious, and
looked rather pained.

"Well, let me clarify it for you, Mr. Spock. Every time I come near
you, you all but jump and move away. You seem to flinch from my
presence and my touch as if I had some contagious disease! Now I
thought that if I had done something to make you act this way, you
would tell me..."

"No, Captain. It's not your fault."

"Then? What is it? Spock, you do realize you are talking to me now and
not the Captain, don't you?"

Spock nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them
again, he looked more determined and less shaky, and started talking
in that even voice of his;

"It would seem, Jim, that, whenever you are in close proximity to me, 
my body is having strange reactions. This is no doubt due to my
unfortunate timing when I interrupted a very intimate moment between
you and the girl on that planet."

Jim made to say something, but Spock continued in that same monotonous
voice;

"Psychology would explain that this is a result of an uncomfortable
situation that when subconsciously repressed on my part, it magnifies
tenfold, and manifests itself through weird bodily reactions. A
common, if not disturbing, psychological state that has been bearing
down on my human side."

"Forget about psychology for a second!" Jim said flailing his arms.
"Are you telling me that you feel... things for me when I'm around?"

"Captain, I am also a Vulcan, and thus incapable of feeling the things
you are implying."

"So you keep telling us Mr. Spock, but there you have it!"

Jim sat abruptly on one of the chairs, rubbing his temples. He had
guessed it might have been something like that, but not to the extent
Spock indicated.

"I assure you, I no more want this than you do, but it has been
evidently growing worse, and I have considered resigning from my post
should it become problematic for the performance of my duties..."

Jim then looked up at his first officer, and for the first time
wondered how bad this must be for Spock who always prided himself on
being rid of human emotions, and the sometimes undignified situations
they put one in. He refused to wonder though what this could mean for
their personal friendship, as it was too horrible to even contemplate
it.

"No one is resigning, Mr. Spock... Have you by any chance thought of
talking to the ship's psychiatrist? She is sworn to confidentiality,
maybe it would help..."

"Out of the question, Captain," Spock replied rigidly, and then added
more softly "talking to you was difficult enough..."

"I understand Mr. Spock... then perhaps... may I suggest another
alternative?"

Spock looked up while Jim moved in front of him. "Yes, Captain?"

"A mind-meld. Maybe if you connect to my mind, this state" he waved
his hand between them, "might dissolve, and your reaction around me
returned to normal."

Jim could hardly believe he was talking like that to his first officer
of all people. It reminded him of a time during his days in the
academy, when one of his friends' little sister had developed a crush
on him. But he wasn't prepared to lose the best officer in the fleet,
not to mention his close friend, over something like that.

Spock might have seen the urgency in his face, because he nodded
slowly. "It could work, but Jim you must know that a mind-meld is very
personal. I'd be looking inside the most hidden parts of your mind,
and the same goes for you... one's mind has many dark places, that one
isn't even aware of, so whatever I stumble on, should not make you
feel uncomfortable of embarrassed afterwards..."

Jim gave him a small smile "I thought it was your embarrassment that
we were trying to remedy, Mr. Spock..."

Spock rolled his eyes, looking somewhat like his usual self again,
before he raised his hand and touched the meld point on Jim's temple.

Jim closed his eyes and felt as if he had fallen through a black hole
in a sea where his identity was slowly being dissolved. The next time
he opened them, he was back on the planet where everything had begun
from. He saw the clearing and then himself and the girl, and realized
that he was seeing it through Spock's memory. He could hear the groans
and moaning and felt greatly embarrassed. Spock's voice sounded from
somewhere, telling him that he shouldn't feel bad, but he turned away
from the sight, only to come across something even more disturbing;
the memory had changed and it was Spock pushed up against the tree,
grabbing at the hem of Jim's shirt and twisting around his fingers,
while dream-Jim looked as if he was devouring his neck. Dream-Spock
made an uncharacteristic noise that sounded like a moan, and turned
his neck slightly to allow dream-Jim more space.

Jim didn't know why, but he couldn't take his eyes off his other self
as he was biting and licking dream-Spock's skin. It was fascinating he
thought, using one of his first officer's favourite words. Fascinating
in all its strangeness and extremely arousing; Jim couldn't deny that.
Besides, his thoughts were open for Spock to see too. But Spock was
now trying to obscure the image, to hide it, and Jim felt a sharp ache
as he was being pushed out and into himself once again, the darkness
turning into shuttering light.

He opened his eyes, and found himself on the floor of the room, and
Mr. Spock kneeling beside him, looking drained.

"Spock, are you okay?"

"I should be the one to be asking this, Captain. After all, I'm not
new to mind-melds."

Jim stood up and sat heavily on a chair. he felt a bit disoriented and
drained himself. When he got his bearings, and caught his breath, he
turned to Spock once more.

"Spock, is that... is that how you feel?" Jim didn't even know how to
phrase it.

"Captain, -- Jim... I am deeply sorry you had to witness that. The
mind-meld was obviously a mistake. I'd hoped I'd be more disciplined
than that..." he trailed off and stood up.

"I will submit my resignation as soon as possible."

At his words, Jim felt a jolt of frustration run through his body,

"Didn't I just say that no one is resigning? Can't we work though 
this, Spock?"

"I'm afraid Jim, that it will make our work situation quite difficult,
and I hope you understand now, why seeking help from the ship's
psychiatrist would be very awkward. I simply see no other logical
solution than my resignation..."

"Dammit Spock!" Jim yelled, banging his hand on the table and standing
up. "Didn't you hear me?"

They were in close proximity now, and Jim had a deja vu of Spock's
daydream. His breath was suddenly coming out short, and his arms felt
strangely empty. He braced his hand on the wall next to Spock's head,
trying to calm himself, and the first officer, not looking better
himself, said weakly, "See what I mean now, Jim?" and then opened the
door and left the room. Jim stood at that spot for a long time after
Spock had gone.

----

A week had passed since the meld incident and although Mr. Spock
didn't bring up his resignation again, his behaviour became more and
more rigid near Jim. The crew had noticed it, and the Captain went to
great pains to convince Dr. McCoy that everything was alright between
himself and Mr. Spock.

But the less Jim interacted with Spock during the day, the more he
found himself interacting with him during the night in his dreams. At
first he dismissed them as remnants from the meld, but they became
more and more elaborate, almost having a life of their own. And each
time Jim would wake up shamefully aroused, as if he was a teenager
again, and he would relieve himself thinking back on them, trying to
retrieve every detail. And then, every time he'd enter the bridge and
glimpse his first officer, memories of the dreams would plague him,
affecting his concentration and thus his commanding ability. If Spock
was like that too, then the ship's two highest ranking officers were
not fit for their jobs, and he'd have to rectify this situation soon.

However, if Jim wanted to be honest with himself, it wasn't the ship's
best interest he had at heart, but his own selfish desires. James Kirk
wasn't used to being denied what he wanted, and now he had found out
that he wanted to explore this new facet of his and Spock's
relationship.

The first officer had regressed back into himself though, as if he was
trying to erase the human Spock, and leave only the Vulcan part. He
became cold and formal, and Kirk wouldn't know how to approach him
even if he wanted to.

----

The answer presented itself in one of the psychology texts Jim had
taken to reading in his spare time inside his quarters. It was an
article about autistic people, and how the best way to approach them
was by means of a thing they were interested in, like art or numbers.

He cornered his first officer when he was leaving his quarters and
gestured him back in.

"Mr. Spock, there is something I need to discuss with you..."

Spock folded his arms, but replied complacently,

"Certainly, Captain. I am, as you say, 'all ears'."

Jim didn't smile at the pun, because he knew Spock was trying to
lighten up the atmosphere on purpose.

"Tell me Mr. Spock, when you said that the logical solution to our
situation was your resigning, didn't it occur to you that it wasn't
the only solution available?"

"Not the only one, Captain?" Spock was openly curious now and had
dropped the rigid face and looked up on Jim with that inquiring
expression that Jim always found delightful.

"I'll come to that in a second Mr. Spock, but please answer my
question first. Your suggestion for submitting your resignation was
based on the grounds that you were making me feel uncomfortable and
you wanted to spare both of us the awkwardness, in favour of the
ship's smooth operation, correct?"

"Yes, Captain, that is correct."

"But say, if the situation didn't make me feel embarrassed, would your
resignation still make sense?"

Spock nodded, "Yes, Captain. There would still be the matter of me
being..." he stopped and sighed "I don't know quite how to put it."

"No need, Mr. Spock. Let's just say that I understand, and that you 
are not alone in that boat."

Spock turned to him sharply. Jim's pleasant smile from before was
gone, and he was looking at Spock meaningfully: "Would there still be
basis for your resignation?"

"Captain... I..." Spock started, but Jim gestured him silent once
more,

"Is there a regulation against two officers on the fleet, serving in
the same establishment, pursuing an intimate relationship with each
other, should they wish to?"

Spock shook his head negatively. "No, Captain."

"And is there a regulation" Jim continued, "against two people of the
same sex pursuing a relationship with each other, should they wish
to?"

"No, Captain, not since the Act declaring homosexuality legal in
military ranks was voted in the middle of the 21st century."

"Then logically, there is no reason why we shouldn't, is there?"

"Yes, Sir, there is actually another reason..."

Jim who was caught up in the triumph of his argument, looked downcast
for a second.

"I thought that it might ruin our friendship, Jim..." Spock said
softly.

"What would?" Jim asked, but his first officer lowered his head, and
Jim got it.

"That can only add to it, Mr. Spock," he said and put both hands on
either side of Spock's face, running his fingers on that skin, which
felt as soft as it looked. Something squirmed pleasurably in his
stomach as he saw his first officer closing his eyes in anticipation.

There's definitely something to this psychology business, he decided
as he leaned in. That, and rabid women in heat.

---

The End