Janeway and Chakotay: The Early Years:
Onyx, Turquoise and Quartzite
by monkee (wiecek@earthlink.net)

---

Part of the 'Janeway and Chakotay: The Early Years' series, a
collection of stand-alone stories from the first two years of the
journey, before 'Resolutions.'

Author's Notes: First of all, I made up the meaning of the stones. I
don't know if Native Americans even attribute significance to
different stones in their jewelry. Secondly, I've lost interest in J/C
since 'Endgame,' for obvious reasons, but I still have a deep belief
in the pairing, as I originally saw it. They may have killed it
completely in the end, but they won't ever be able to take those first
two years away from us.

---

Kathryn Janeway glanced surreptitiously around Sandrines, then slid
into a back booth with her plate. She could do anything she wanted, of
course. She was the Captain, and, more importantly, she was the
birthday girl. Still, she didn't really think anyone needed to know
that she was eating a third slice of cake.

She took a bite, and closed her eyes, savoring the intense richness.
Neelix's culinary triumphs were few and far between, but this...this
definitely qualified. Chocolate mocha layer cake – her favorite. How
had he known? She was sure she'd never mentioned it to anyone. At
times, she thought that Neelix was a small miracle. When she'd allowed
him and Kes to remain on Voyager at the beginning of the journey,
she'd arrogantly thought she was doing them a favor, but they'd both
proven to be invaluable. 'Just goes to show you,' she thought, wryly,
'you're never too old to learn a thing or two.'

Not that she was old, Dammit. After all, forty was just a number,
right?

Well, of course it was.

Honestly, it didn't bother her. Or at least it didn't bother her any
more than the fact that she was still stranded with her crew, after a
year and a half, in the damned Delta Quadrant. She sighed, then
shrugged it off. It was her birthday, and she didn't intend to ruin a
perfectly good slice of cake by indulging in self-pity.

She took another bite, and closed her eyes again, almost groaning with
appreciation. Damn, this was good. Almost perfect. What she needed
right now was...

"Milk."

This proclamation, accompanied by the sound of a glass being set
decisively on the table, startled her into opening her eyes. Ah.
Commander Chakotay had been anticipating her every need, again. Bad
habit of his, but she wasn't complaining.

"You have to have a glass of cold milk with chocolate cake, Captain,"
he explained. "I'm pretty sure it's in the Federation Charter."

"Oh, well then..." she said, smiling, "if it's in the charter..."

"Mind if I sit down?" he asked, grinning.

"Please do," she said, nodding towards the other side of the booth.
She was somewhat surprised when he sat down beside her instead, but
scooted down to give him some room.

Some of her gifts from the crew were stacked on the table, and
Chakotay picked one of them up, a hand-sized black sphere – Paris's
gift. "What is this, anyway?" he asked, turning it over to inspect it.

"Ah, the ancient terran oracle," she said. "It's a Magic Eight Ball.
If you ask it a question, the answer appears in the small window on
the bottom. Mr. Paris insists that it's never wrong."

"I see," he said. He cradled the ball in his hands with feigned
reverence, then raised an eyebrow at her. "Can I ask it something?"

"Be my guest," she said.

"Hmmmm...let's see. I've got one," Chakotay said. "Magic Eight Ball –
will Captain Janeway..."

"Stop!" she said, sternly.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Don't you know anything?" she exclaimed. "You mustn't speak your
question aloud – you might offend the Magic Eight Ball."

She was teasing him, and he knew it. Immediately, his face screwed up
into the familiar suppressed smile that she had come to know so well.
The one that brought out his dimples. Truth be told, it was half the
reason she flirted with him the way she did – just to see that smile.

He shook his head, chuckling, and nodded to himself. Then, giving her
a sly, sideways glance, he said, "I was just going to ask it if you
were going to have a fourth slice of that cake."

She laughed and elbowed him hard. "You're counting?" she exclaimed,
with mock outrage.

She enjoyed their comfortable rapport. In the past few months, she'd
come to suspect that he was, perhaps, a little bit attracted to her.
And she knew, despite her engagement to Mark, that she found him
attractive, too. It certainly wasn't anything they'd ever act on. They
were professional. It was just something they both enjoyed in a
low-key kind of way. Take right now, for instance. Who would it hurt
if she noticed the way his dark eyes complemented the sweater he was
wearing, or if she appreciated his close proximity? It made her happy,
much the same way the chocolate mocha cake did. It was harmless,
right?

From beneath the table, he produced a small box that he must have been
holding all along. She saw him glance around, but the people who
remained in the bar were all clustered around the pool table.

"I have a gift for you, too," he said, handing her the box. "I didn't
want to give it to you earlier. It's..." He hesitated, then went on.
"It might be construed as a little bit inappropriate, but I didn't
mean it that way. I just like to make gifts for people, and this is
what I wanted to make for you."

She smiled. This explained why he'd sat down beside her rather than
across from her. He was acting as a shield, of sorts. Touched and
intrigued, she unwrapped the package.

From inside the small box, she pulled a delicate silver chain – a
bracelet. Alternating every couple of centimeters, there were stone
beads of black, white and blue-green. The beads were wrapped loosely
with thin silver wire. It was beautiful, and – yes, perhaps a little
inappropriate. Or at least it might be inappropriate from any other
First Officer. From Chakotay, however, it felt acceptable, somehow. It
seemed a perfectly natural thing for him to do.

She held the bracelet up closer to her face, so she could see it
better. It glittered in the low light of late-night Sandrines. "You
made this?" she asked, quietly. "It's beautiful, Comm..." She paused.
It seemed awfully silly to use his title under the circumstances. She
corrected herself. "Chakotay."

He noticed the change. For just an instant, she could see how pleased
he was by it. Then he schooled his features into a more generic
casual-conversation kind of expression. "I had to replicate the
materials," he explained, "but then, yes, I made it myself."

"I love it," she said, smiling. "Thank you." She draped the bracelet
over her thumb, and continued to look at it in her cupped hand. "So,"
she said, "what is the significance of these particular stones?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she detected a subtle movement, as if
he'd been surprised by the question. "Uh...there's no..." She looked
at him in surprise. The hesitation in his response was completely
uncharacteristic. "There isn't any. Significance to these particular
stones, I mean," he finally managed to say. "I just liked the colors."

"Okay," she said, smiling pleasantly. "Well, I like them, too. Thank
you, Chakotay."

"You're welcome," he said, grinning. Then he stood to go. "I have an
early meeting tomorrow so I think I'm going to head out. Happy
birthday, Captain. Enjoy your cake."

She knew he was only leaving because he'd lingered long enough at her
table. With or without the diversion of a pool game, it wouldn't go
unnoticed by the crew indefinitely. She watched him go with gratitude
and fondness. Just before he left, he turned to look at her once more.
She smiled, and held up her glass of milk in acknowledgement. And then
he was gone.

Her eyes narrowed as soon as the doors closed. He just liked the
COLORS? In a pig's eye. She knew him better than that. She was sure
there was some significance to the choice of stones, and if she hadn't
been sure before, his hesitation had convinced her. She took another
bite of cake, and tried to decide when she would have the time to do a
little research in the database.

---

As it turned out, it wasn't until several days later that she found
the time, after her shift, to sit down with a cup of coffee and peruse
the data base on the traditions of Chakotay's people. Tracking down
the information that she sought was taking a lot longer than she had
anticipated, because she kept getting sidetracked by other interesting
articles. She was sorely tempted, for example, to read about 'the
science behind the vision quest.' She forced herself to move on. If
she wasn't careful, this could well take all night. Besides, she
decided that she didn't really want to know how it was that she had
actually spoken to a lizard the day Chakotay helped her find her
guide. Some things were better left unexplored.

With effort, she turned her attention back to the section on jewelry,
and finally located a chart entitled 'The Meaning of Stones.'

At this point, she retrieved the bracelet from the top drawer of her
nightstand. Recalling the geology course that she'd taken at the
Academy, she readily identified the white and blue stones as quartzite
and turquoise, respectively. She had to use her tricorder to analyze
the black stone, which turned out to be onyx. She located it on the
list:

black onyx: strength, courage

That made sense. She didn't feel all that brave most of the time, but
she could understand how he might see her that way. She was, after
all, his Captain. Still, she was pleased. She knew that he appreciated
the difficulties of her position out here, but it was nice to have it
confirmed.

Her glance was drawn next to quartzite, near the bottom of the list:

quartzite: purity of thought, wisdom

"Oh," she said, aloud, nearly overwhelmed by the flood of warmth and
appreciation that washed over her. She actually felt a lump form in
the back of her throat. That was maybe the nicest thing anyone had
ever thought about her. It was one thing to make decisions and stick
with them; it was quite another thing to make wise ones. Although she
never let it show, she second-guessed many of her decisions,
including, late at night, the one that had stranded them all out here.
He always supported her outwardly, but this validated her choices on a
deeper level.

It was more than that, though. Chakotay was, himself, one of the
wisest people she had ever met. She admired, and even envied, his calm
and thoughtful demeanor. It balanced her quick decisiveness and
occasional abrasiveness, and it was what made them a good command
team. If he considered her to be even a little wise, she was
flattered.

One more stone to go. This research was certainly turning out to be
enlightening. For a while, to her surprise, she couldn't find
turquoise on the chart. It was such a commonly used stone in their
jewelry – it had to be there. Eventually, she found 'white turquoise,'
a few columns down from quartzite. That was interesting. She didn't
even know there was white turquoise. These stones were definitely
blue, though, and sure enough, there it was, right after black onyx:

blue turquoise: possessing inner and outer beauty, desirable,
cherished

She stared at the words, stunned. Beautiful? Cherished? She had
suspected that he was casually attracted to her, but this certainly
suggested something more. It wasn't any kind of confession to her – he
had, after all, lied about the meaning of the stones. No, this was
more his own admission to himself. Somehow, that made it seem even
more romantic. He had feelings for her, but he knew he couldn't act on
them, or even tell her about them. She was touched.

Touched, and...she didn't know what else. She couldn't even consider
it, of course. It was out of the question, in her position, and
besides...

She looked over at the picture of Mark on her nightstand uneasily.
Mark. She had loved Mark, deeply and passionately – yet some days she
had trouble remembering the timbre of his voice, the feel of his skin.
It had been a year and a half. So long. What was he doing now? Was he
also having trouble remembering her? She hadn't ever made the
conscious decision to give up hope that they would be reunited and
continue their lives together, but perhaps it was happening gradually,
without her knowing. Perhaps it already had happened.

Sighing, she shut off her computer, and brought the bracelet with her
over to the viewport. She sat on the couch and looked out at the blur
of the stars at warp. She smiled down at the incredible gift, then put
it on. Then she let herself wonder, for just a moment, what it would
be like to let herself be loved by such a man – this gentle warrior
who had been thrown into her path. Under different circumstances, she
knew she could fall in love with him – his strength, his nobility, his
compassion...his dimples. Oh, yes.

The silver felt cool against her wrist, and she fingered the stones
gently. This gift made her feel young and decidedly un-Captainly. It
made her feel like Kathryn again. It made her feel brave, beautiful,
and wise.

---

The End