The BLTS Archive - Rescue Operation #4: A Prayer for Malcolm Reed by miera (mierac72@yahoo.com) --- Archive: Ask first Date: August 20, 2003 Author's Notes: Just a little soliloquy from Malcolm regarding a dangerous task. A bit of fluff. Feedback: Is like peanut butter and chocolate together. --- Dear God, I cannot do this. It would be bad enough to have to walk into this reception with just the Captain. How on earth am I supposed to maintain my composure with the Captain, T'Pol and Hoshi? Naked? I know most of my crewmates think that I'm overwhelmingly devoted to my duties, to the exclusion of all else, but I'm still human. There are certain things that are hard to ignore! I keep reminding myself that I've been in close quarters with both the Subcommander and Hoshi when we were all less than fully dressed. I managed to sit in between them for nearly an hour in decon after our brush with death on that Klingon ship. I behaved myself didn't I? I was tired and a bit punchy from whatever it was Phlox injected me with, but I kept my eyes shut most of the time. As for the dreams, I can't control what my subconscious did with my memories. And really, it's hardly surprising. As I said, I'm human. Specifically, a normal human male. And I have never let that fact interfere with my duties. Well, alright, I have let it interfere. I never should have kissed Hoshi that second time. Or probably the first time either, although I'll be hanged if I can think of what else I could've done in that situation. But yes, the second time, in her quarters, is my fault. But Hoshi turning up topless at my door wasn't! I handled that very well, even You have to admit. That little minx never returned my shirt, come to think of it. I wonder—oh no, forget that train of thought. I'm better off not having it back anyway. And when T'Pol attempted to rip my EV suit off of me while she was sick or whatever was wrong with her, I was never not conscious of the danger she was in. Or the danger she could put me in. I helped return her to Sickbay and all I was thinking about was the safety of the ship and my crew. You must give me credit for that. Of course, ever since that away mission with Hoshi, the dreams about T'Pol have stopped. In fact, anything involving any woman other than Hoshi has stopped. Not for lack of trying on my part. As I'm sure You know. Lately it's been all Hoshi, all the time. And now I'm going to have to see Hoshi. In the flesh. Naked. That's a lot of flesh. It's not as though I can shut my eyes, either. I'm the chief of security, for heaven's sake! I can't protect my crew with my eyes politely averted. And if I don't avert my eyes…Well. Every person's self control has limits. There's only so much the mind can do. Is this some kind of test? Because I think I've been very well behaved. I don't deserve to be punished like this. I wonder if Phlox can give me something. Please God, just get me through this night without totally humiliating myself. --- Heavenly God. I'm never going to recover from this night. "So where did you hide your phase pistol, Lieutenant?" Quite the comedienne aren't you Ensign. Damn her. I swear, from the look in her eyes, she knew exactly what I was thinking. Phlox's drug's notwithstanding. I had to clench my fists to keep from swatting her bare behind in retaliation. The half of her I hadn't seen unclothed before. God, Reed, stop thinking about that. Looks like Phlox's drugs are wearing off. At least I can take some comfort in the fact that the Captain looked as uncomfortable as I felt. Which comfort is somewhat negated by the sight of Hoshi checking out the Captain's…assets. Why couldn't I have caught her looking at something else? Preferably me. I'm hardly in the Captain's league physically, of course. But Reeds are Navy men. Height isn't useful in a cramped ship. We're bred to be compact. Perhaps I have in fact died during the mission somewhere. Because this certainly feels like hell. --- Oh Lord. Why did it have to be that dream? I took the cold shower. I got it out of my system. Why did I have to dream about the house? I can feel my sheets twisted around me, the hard mattress, my pillow barely under my head, here, in the real world. But if I keep my eyes shut I can remember being in that big double bed with the purple sheets, and her body in my arms. I know that my subconscious constructed it from other sense memories, but it felt so real. Like I was in my—no, our bed—with Hoshi in my arms. Her warmth, the softness of the pillows. The sound of her breathing was so comforting. It's far too quiet in here. Damn it. I'm never going to be able to get back to sleep now. But I don't want to open my eyes. Lord God, have mercy on your servant, Malcolm Reed. Just kill me now. --- The End