The BLTS Archive - Admiring Fools
#3: That Was Then; This Is Now
by Victoria Meredith (vmeredith@in-con.com)

---

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Acknowledgment: Many thanks to Melissa Jones for betaing this story!

---

Anxious and uncertain, Damar prowled the dimly lit cellar, pacing
every inch of the available space, around the three bunks with their
thin mattresses, around the hard, short-legged stools and stacks of
storage containers. As he paced, his hands knotted into fists, his
expression tight.

Kira tried to ignore him since he made it obvious that he didn't want
to talk to her. Tremendous grief gripped him, and he still hurt from
their confrontation earlier in the day about Ziyal. Kira still hurt,
too. It had been cathartic experience for them both, however painful.
His murder of Ziyal had felt like a canyon separating them, a
treacherous, night-filled gap that had once seemed impossible to
cross. It felt strange to Kira that now it seemed altogether possible
to bridge that gap with Damar. She wasn't sure if she wanted to or
not.

Kira sat on the hard bunk, staring at the floor. Every once in a
while, her eyes would flick up to watch him, and his eyes would slip
over to look at her. Each time their eyes met, she felt his tension
and uncertainty and hurt that mirrored her own feelings. He had told
her that she couldn't hate him and care about him at the same time.
She didn't hate him anymore. But how could she ever forgive him and
why would she want to?

At least confronting him about Ziyal had ended with them remaining
allies instead of becoming enemies again. It all had dredged up more
painful, dark truths about Damar that he had to face and accept and
overcome. How many dark and painful truths can a man face? A lot more,
it seemed to Kira, than she had expected Damar to be able to handle.
In their confrontation, he had seemed to force himself to face the
truths surrounding Ziyal's death; he had forced himself to accept it
all and had shown her how deeply he wanted to overcome them.

She could sympathize with him because she knew what it was like to
face the dark truths of one's past and how difficult it was to
overcome that. She had gone through it countless times, and it never
got easier. No doubt, she'll have to do it again and again in the
future and so will Damar.

Sitting with nothing on her mind but hope that Garak would find the
materials they needed and, beyond that, hope that her instincts about
the Cardassian people would prove correct, Kira watched Damar pace the
cellar. Finally, his footsteps slowed then he came to a stop near the
stairs. She didn't like the look he gave to the door at the top.

"Perhaps I should go and scout the location while Garak is gone," he
said, barely glancing at her. Little wonder, she thought, since he
probably knew what her response would be.

"No," Kira said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Naturally, Damar argued.

"Why not?" he demanded, turning to look at her.

"You're too recognizable," Kira said as she rose from the bunk. "It
isn't safe for you to go out."

"The Dominion isn't looking for me anymore," Damar pointed out. "They
think I'm dead."

"And the minute a Jem'Hadar or a Vorta sees you," Kira said, "they'll
know that you're not. Besides, if what Mila says is true, if your
people see you, you'll probably end up gathering a crowd around you.
They'll all want to see for themselves that you're still alive. Not
something conducive to spying on the barracks. We'll gather a crowd
later."

"You don't expect me to stand around and do nothing while you and
Garak do all the work?"

Kira gave him a nearly pitying look. "Esorel, in all the months during
the resistance while me and Odo and Garak were making explosive
devices and training your men on how to make them, did you ever once
stop and learn how to make a bomb yourself?"

"No," he admitted grudgingly.

"No, because you were the commander, and you had more important things
to do. Just leave the details to us like you did before."

That only started him pacing again.

With an annoyed sigh, Kira said, "Just settle down. Garak will be back
any minute."

He shot her a frustrated glare and turned away, prowling around again.
She frowned as studied him. There was something more on his mind than
his grief over the loss of his men in the resistance. There was more
than just coming to terms with the difficult truths about Ziyal.
Whatever was bothering him, he obviously wasn't willing to talk to her
about it. Perhaps the gap hadn't been bridged after all.

Feeling restless, Kira wanted to pace as well, but she sank back down
on the bunk and watched him move aimlessly about as she wondered what
was eating at him. Probably just nervous about what Kira had proposed.
Bombing a Jem'Hadar barracks to capture the people's attention and
show that their leader still lived and still fought.

After a while, Damar slowed his pacing again and came to stop in front
of her.

"Do you really think . . ." he started then abruptly looked away, his
face troubled and confused. "Is it really possible that the people
think I'm . . ."

The door opening at the top of the stairs interrupted him. They both
sighed with relief as Garak came down the stairs, carrying a large
satchel. Setting the satchel down on the flat surface of a stack of
storage containers, Garak opened it as Kira and Damar came to his
side.

"Troubling to see the black market becoming so entrenched in
Cardassia," Garak commented as he pulled out a data padd.

"That's a problem to be solved for another day," Damar muttered, his
eyes on the satchel.

"Well, it did turn out to be useful in this case," Garak said.

"Actually, a black market could be very helpful for us," Kira told
him. "If you can make contact with them."

"All ready done," Garak smiled. "At least with a portion of it."

"Good," Kira replied with an approving nod. Leave it to Garak to
ferret out the underbelly of the city.

Garak held up the data padd. "I've secured false work orders. They
aren't approved, unfortunately. My contact tells me she's still
working on forging Jem'Hadar First approval encryption, but I'm sure I
can work around that."

"All right," Kira said, helping herself to the supplies. "You'll slip
into the barrack on a pretense - a simple worker doing his job - leave
the bomb and slip out again."

"I can do that," Garak nodded.

"Damar and I will keep back in the shadows as much as possible and
guard your back."

Damar, she noticed, grimaced at that but said nothing.

"We better get to work," Garak said as he lifted the components for
the bomb out of the satchel. Dragging up a stool, Kira sat next him at
the make-shift table of stacked containers. As they sorted out the
materials, Damar stood and watched them for a while, his face still
troubled and anxious, then he went back to pacing.

He quickly got on Kira's nerves. Making a bomb took a great deal of
concentration, and having someone agitated and pacing at her back
distracted her. Garak looked up from the chemicals he was mixing, his
annoyance clear in his face.

"What's bothering him?" Garak asked softly when Damar paced away to
the shadowy other side of the cellar.

"I don't know," Kira said with a sigh. "He's probably just nervous.
There's a lot riding on him."

"There has been a lot riding on him for months," Garak replied, his
eyes sliding over to Damar, "but I don't think I've ever seen him
quite this agitated."

Kira shrugged. "You know how moody he is," she whispered, seeing Damar
pacing towards them.

They put their attention back on the work of assembling the bomb, and
Kira tried to ignore the constant sound of Damar's footsteps and the
anxious movement of his body in the corner of her eyes. Not succeeding
at that, Kira sighed and set down her tools.

"Damar," she said sharply, and his head snapped around to look at her.
"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," he said, not stopping his restless movements.

"We're working with very dangerous materials here," Garak said. "Why
don't you lie down and get some rest? It's been a long day, and
there's still much to be accomplished that you need to be ready for."

"I couldn't rest if I tried," Damar grumbled.

"Then sit down," Kira said, "and give some thought to the speech
you're going to make tonight."

That stopped Damar in his tracks.

"Speech?" he protested. "What speech?"

"When the bomb goes off," Kira said, "people will come into the square
to see what happened. That's when you'll step out and let them see
that you're still alive and fighting."

"They'll be expecting you to say something to them," Garak added.

"What am I supposed to say?" Damar asked, sounding nearly panicked.
"I'm a terrible speaker. You both know that."

"That's not entirely true," Garak assured him. "You were a terrible
speaker when you had to give speeches mouthing Dominion propaganda.
But you can be very effective when you speak from your heart. As
you'll need to do tonight."

"You did fine with your resistance speech," Kira pointed out.

"Exactly," Garak smiled. "It was a bit cliched, but you carried if off
well with your earnest delivery. I'm sure you can do the same again."

"All you need to do is to say a few words to inspire the people to
join us. If you can't think of anything to say, I'm sure Garak can
help you."

"They don't need to hear me give a speech," Damar insisted.

Kira's eyes flashed. "Yes they do, and you're going to give them one."

His mouth pursed with anger, his eyes growing instantly cold as he
glared down at her.

"You're as bad as Weyoun," Damar sneered at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kira snapped, rising to her feet and
knowing full well that this was probably the worst insult Damar could
think of.

"Weyoun tried to control me just as you're trying to now," Damar
growled. "He'd prop me up as the pretend leader of Cardassia to say
whatever the Dominion wanted me to say. And now you want to do the
same thing. This is nothing but a political manipulation. Prop me up
in front of the people as a pretend legend and hope they don't see the
real truth behind the image they're suppose accept. Well, that never
worked for Weyoun. The people saw me for what I was. They knew I
wasn't their leader. Only a useless puppet. They haven't forgotten
that. This whole notion of me being a legend is absurd, and they're
not going to fall for it. Cardassians aren't fools."

Kira and Garak stared at him then looked at each other then back at
him, startled and bemused.

"So that's what all this pacing is about," Kira said.

Damar turned away. "This legend business is a bit too much for me to
swallow. Don't be disappointed if this doesn't work out."

Kira rolled her eyes at his pessimism. "If you don't think it'll work
out, then why did you agree to do it?"

"Because I'm not going to give up," he stated. "If all I can do is
give the Dominion more annoying stings, I'll do it. Better to bomb
Jem'Hadar barracks than to sit around doing nothing. And if that
encourages people to join us and fight back, all the better. Just
don't expect them to come flocking to me because you think I've become
a legend in their eyes."

"I know of a few Cardassians," Garak said slowly, "who would find the
idea that the people thought of them as legends quite gratifying."

"Well, I'm not one of them," Damar muttered.

"No," Garak agreed. "You have your ego in the right place."

"It's going to stay there," Damar said. "I'm not going to fall for
this deluded fantasy you're trying to make me play out."

"This isn't a deluded fantasy," Kira insisted. "And it isn't pretend.
I'm not saying that you're a legend. I'm just saying that I think the
people believe that you are."

"Where's the difference in that?" Damar demanded. "Legends are based
on people's belief in them."

"That's right," Kira said. "The people need someone to believe in.
Someone to inspire them. That's what legends are all about."

"There isn't very much that is inspirational about me," Damar
grumbled.

"Then you haven't looked at yourself lately," Kira snapped.

"This is amazing," Garak said in an expansive, sarcastic tone. "Just
amazing. Damar, I'm beginning to think that you're the strangest man
I've ever met. We know what you've gone through. We know what you've
had to face about yourself. Don't tell me that you're strong enough to
face the worst about yourself, yet you falter when you need to accept
the best."

Damar gaped at him then shook his head. "I don't want people to see me
as a legend. It's ridiculous. Besides, I know how dangerous that kind
of thinking can be. I just want people to see me for what I am and let
them deal with the truth."

"Yes," Garak nodded. "They'll deal with the truth. They'll see you for
what you truly are, and they'll be inspired by what you truly are.
That's why this isn't pretend, Damar."

"You really should know better, Garak," Damar snapped.

"I believe I do," Garak coolly replied.

Damar sighed, and Kira saw a familiar look come into his eyes before
he looked away. Shame. "You know how our people feel about me. They've
hated me ever since I became leader because I was inappropriate, I
didn't earn the position, and all I did was allow the Dominion to
entrench themselves deeper into Cardassia and weaken us."

Garak rose, his eyes intense on Damar. Going to his side, Garak took
his arm, drawing Damar's attention to him.

"I know, Damar," he said with a gentle firmness. "I know because I
felt the same. I hated you. Deeply. I cursed the day you were made
leader."

Damar looked away from him again, his head hanging, and Kira hurt to
see him like this. Then Garak gripped his arm.

"I was wrong," Garak said flatly. "I was wrong to curse that day. I
was wrong to have hated you when I had never looked you in the eye and
saw what kind of a man you really are. I had good reason to hate you,
and now I have good reason to believe in you, Damar. Our people have
good reason to believe in you."

"No," Damar said, trying to pull away but Garak held him tight by the
arm.

"Yes," Garak insisted intently. "You think of yourself as a failure,
but you don't see that you've proven yourself to our people. You have
sacrificed nearly everything because of your loyalty to Cardassia.
Because of your love for our people. You gave them hope again because
you were out there doing what they wished they could do. You said no
more and fought back. Now, our people are ready to fight back with
you."

"All they need," Kira said, "is for you to encourage them."

"While I was with my contact and her associates," Garak said, his eyes
turning humored, "they shared with me all the rumors they had heard.
Mila hadn't exaggerated when she said the streets had become filled
with talk about you. The people need to believe in you, Damar, and you
need to let them. They need to be inspired and have hope again. You
can do that."

Damar gave a slow shake of his head. "I will do what is necessary," he
said quietly, "but what you're asking is an awful lot for one man to
have to live up to. Especially me."

Garak chuckled. "Well, considering that you have been living up to it
these past few months, you just need to keep it up. It's a heavy
burden, I know, but you're strong enough for it, and you won't be
carrying it alone."

Damar's eyes slid from Garak to Kira then back to Garak as he suddenly
gripped Garak's arm. "No, I won't be. Thank you, Garak. It fortifies
me to know that you support me."

"The least I can do," Garak said with a slight bow of his head. They
let go of each other's arms, and Damar looked settled down. Kira and
Garak got back to making the bomb while Damar stood and watched them.

"I still say this is a political manipulation," he commented.

"Of course it is," Garak replied with a chuckle. "Such is the
Cardassian way."

"I suppose," Damar shook his head. "Still, you're the one who's going
to be taking all the risks, Garak. You and Commander Kira expect me
step out after the bombing as if I had just done something courageous,
instead of just standing back and watching."

"The bombing is merely to catch the people's attention," Garak said as
he carefully set the timer on the bomb.

"You're the one who will be risking his life doing it. You should be
the one to step out and give a speech."

Garak laughed. "You're not going to get out of making a speech that
easily."

"Can't fault me for trying," Damar said with an uneasy smile.

"The people out there aren't talking about Elim Garak. They're talking
about Legate Damar. That's who they want to see walking among them
alive and whole and ready to lead them in revolt against the
Dominion."

"You know," Kira said, gesturing at Damar with a fine pointed
pindriver, "I think all that talk about how ridiculous it is that
people think you're a legend was just a ruse. All you want is to get
out of having to make that speech."

"You've figured me out," Damar replied, his smile still uneasy. "I
never did get used to public speaking. I did it but I didn't like it,
and I could live the rest of my life happy never having to do it
again. How much longer before you're finished?"

"One minute," Garak assured him as he sealed the bomb casing and Kira
put away the fine tools for the work. "In fact, now."

"Good," Damar gave them both a curt nod, obviously nervous but also
channeling his nervousness into the energy he needed. Feeling the
adrenaline herself from fear and anticipation, Kira whispered a prayer
to the Prophets for protection and guidance and blessing, as she hoped
they would understand the irony of it all.

---

Kira watched Damar feeling incredibly proud. Standing on a slight
platform in a small city square and surrounded by dozens of
Cardassians from every walk of life, Damar pumped his fist in the air,
bellowing "Freedom"! As she had hoped, all the people took up the
chant, all calling out "Freedom" with voices full of longing and zeal,
their faces animated with excitement and conviction and hope. All
inspired by the one man they believed in so much that they had refused
to accept the news that he had died.

Now it remained to be seen if these Cardassians could spread the word
and encourage the rest of the population to revolt against the
Dominion and the Cardassian State held in its grip. It remained to be
seen if they could learn what freedom truly meant and to hold on to
that longing for freedom past the end of the war and into the future
for Cardassia. In Kira's heart, she sent a prayer to the Prophets that
it would so.

Damar made his way through the shouting crowds, grasping every
shoulder he came near, looking into every pair of eyes, until Garak
grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Hurrying away from the square,
they slipped into the shadowed alley where Kira, hidden in a hooded
robe, waited for them. Both Garak's and Damar's eyes gleamed with
excitement, both smiling with triumph. Kira returned the smiles, still
feeling warm by her pride in Damar, still feeling heady from the
momentous event. His adrenaline pumping through him still, Damar
rushed down the alley, taking the lead with his head held high. Kira
and Garak hurried in his wake.

"Keep you head down," Garak hissed at him.

"Not tonight," Damar said confidently.

"Nice speech," Kira told him as she flanked him on the left.

"It had the desired effect," Damar said dryly.

Kira chuckled. "It certainly did."

"A bit cliched, though," Garak pointed out.

"It was off the top of my head, Garak."

"That explains it then."

"I can't believe what you did," Kira said, trying to sound angry with
him because she should be. "Confronting those Jem'Hadar soldiers like
that."

"I had to do something," he said with a cocky grin.

"That's so typical," Kira continued, though her grousing had a tinge
of fondness to it that she couldn't hide. "You're too bold and too
reckless."

"Ah, the stuff that legends are made from," Garak chuckled.

Kira rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm beginning to regret even
mentioning that."

"I wasn't being reckless," Damar insisted. "I knew you were there
watching our backs."

As he said this, he looked at her with a smile from ear to ear and any
attempt at being angry with him fled. Seeing him like this just made
her heart thump even more.

"What's next?" Damar asked.

"What do you think?" Kira said, hurrying at his side as she tried to
hold down her hood.

"Organize resistance cells," Damar nodded. "Bajoran terrorism in the
heart of Cardassia."

"Believe me, I know the irony," Kira said.

Damar led them through the modest neighborhood, the cold night air
only making him more exhilarated.

"Did you see them, Garak?" Damar asked excitedly. "The way they held
up their heads? How proud they were to be Cardassians?"

"How proud they were of you?" Garak smiled.

"No, not of me. Proud of themselves. Of their courage. Of their unity.
Did you see? Civilians and military together, ready to fight
together."

Damar stopped in the middle of the street, suddenly turning to face
Garak, grabbing him by the arms. "When was the last time that
happened, Garak? Civilians and military united under one cause?"

"Not for a very long time," Garak admitted, looking a bit startled.

"We've done this all wrong," Damar told him. "We depended on the
military to do our fighting. Our traditional military system. Kira
tried to get us to do things differently and for the most part, we
succeeded. We succeeded in ways I never thought possible. We struggled
to make it work, but it never really fit together. I didn't see why
before but I do now. We fight for our people, but we never gave our
people the chance to fight for themselves. The civilians have as much
stake in this as the military. We've needed to do this all along.
We've needed to unite our people together in this fight. How could we
expect all of Cardassia to join us when we keep the civilians and
military separated? Unity is our strength, Garak. Now, the people of
Cardassia all united will fight for their own freedom. As it should
be."

Garak gripped Damar's arms. "As it should be," Garak asserted.

"Good," Kira said dryly. "Now, don't you think we should carry on this
conversation in a place less open and well lit?"

Damar chuckled, clapped Garak's arms, and led them out of the street
into the shadows of the houses lining the boulevard.

"We'll need contacts throughout the population," Kira said as she
walked at his side. "Garak's found the black market, so that will
help. We'll have to figure out how we can spread the word and get
people organized. We're going to have to depend on word of mouth."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Garak said with a smile. "We're
Cardassians. We live by word of mouth."

Damar was so energized that they could barely keep up with him as he
rushed through the deep shadows of the neighborhood. When they arrived
back at Mila's house, Kira felt relieved that they had made it without
being spotted by Jem'Hadar patrols in the streets. They trooped
triumphantly down into the cellar. Both Garak and Kira relaxed on the
bunks, tired from the long, draining day. Not Damar.

He was still exhilarated. His words couldn't come out of his mouth
fast enough, and the cellar seemed too small to contain him as he
paced about. Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, he couldn't fly
high enough. All Kira and Garak could do was to listen and watch him,
Garak with amusement and Kira with pride. He talked about what this
could mean for the future, and how this was the start of a true
revolution, and how he had to let the people know all the things that
he wanted for Cardassia.

As he talked and paced, Damar looked at Kira, and she could see what
he wanted. He wanted to take all that pent up energy and exhilaration
and release it on her. Kira felt herself grow warm. She wanted to
celebrate with him. He exuded power, and she wanted him all around
her, on her and inside her. Damar went on about the future, sometimes
repeating himself in his excitement, and she noticed his neck ridges
starting to darken. He was becoming aroused. They continually locked
eyes then looked away before they gave themselves away to Garak. But
that was too late.

Just as Kira was wondering if there was a way for them to slip past
Garak's nose, Garak stood, the humored look on his face gone.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Garak said, sounding a bit angry.
"Really. I suspected something was going on, but I kept telling
myself, Garak, you're reading too much into this. Kira and Damar's
respect for each other has grown considerably, but it hasn't grown to
that. Those two? Never."

Damar swallowed and looked away. Kira bit her lip and stared at the
floor.

"How could you?" Garak lectured. "I mean Kira, you of all people. With
him of all people. It's absurd. I didn't want to believe it even
though the evidence was right under my nose. The long, lingering looks
you two have been giving each other lately. The way you both quickly
look away because you don't want to get caught. The guilt in your eyes
when you do that. Which is exactly what you both should be feeling
right now. Guilty."

Kira sagged a bit. She did feel guilty. Here she was wanting to get
Damar into bed with her and completely forgetting about Odo.

"I'm sorry that we've offended you, Garak," Damar said.

"I'm not the one you need to worry about offending," Garak snapped at
him. "Well, obviously, Legate Damar has a great deal of energy that
needs burning off, and Commander Kira is obviously eager to help him
to do it. So, there are some nice, comfortable beds upstairs in the
guestrooms, and I'm sure we're safe for the moment from Jem'Hadar
patrols."

Neither Kira or Damar moved or said anything. Garak sighed.

"Or I could go up," Garak continued, "and enjoy the comfort and
privacy myself and leave you two here. But I'd prefer it if that
didn't happen because the last thing I need is a cellar filled with
Cardassian pheromones."

"That won't be necessary," Damar said. "It's all right, Garak. This
house has water showers?"

"Yes," Garak said.

"Good," Damar said and began to climb the stairs. "I'm going to go
take advantage of one."

They watched him leave in silence then Garak went and sat next to
Kira.

"How did this happen, Commander?" he asked her.

"A strange set of circumstances," she confessed with a sigh. "I don't
know, Garak. How do you explain why two people are attracted to each
other?"

"I just can't wrap my mind around the concept that you're attracted to
Damar. You don't need me to remind you that you hate him. Or don't you
anymore? Have you come to respect him that much?"

"Captain Sisko said that I had to put my personal feelings aside to
help Damar. I did hate him, and I wanted to keep hating him. He
deserved it. But I tried to do what Sisko said and ignore my feelings.
I never imagined that they would change. Actually, I never imagined
that Damar would change, but he has and now, I can't hate the man he's
become."

"Neither can I," Garak told her gently. "You and I shared the same
feelings. We both were justified in hating him. But he's become much
more than I expected him to be."

Kira took a deep breath. "Have you forgiven him, Garak?"

"No," Garak said simply. "Have you?"

"No," Kira admitted, "but I think that one day I might. I think Ziyal
would want us to."

Garak closed his eyes for a moment. "You may be right. She was a good
person," he said softly.

"She was," Kira said just as softly, feeling the stirring of grief
again. "Damar and I talked about her today. It was difficult for both
of us."

"I would imagine."

"He said that he didn't expect forgiveness because he can't forgive
himself."

"Ah," Garak nodded. "He hates himself for it as much as we hated him
for it."

"I understand better now about why he did it. What was going on with
him when he killed her. It doesn't excuse him, but it does help to
understand it. It helps even more that he wants to find a way to make
up for it. I don't know if anyone can make up for murder, but at least
he's trying. He wants peace between Bajor and Cardassia. Ziyal wanted
that too. She wanted Bajorans and Cardassians to work together. I
think it would honor her memory if he did make peace."

"It's a lovely sentiment," Garak said. "Perhaps peace would honor
Ziyal. She would have been pleased by such a thing."

"She would be pleased knowing that you and I and Damar are here
working together."

"True," Garak agreed. "I can't quite bring myself to forgive him, but
I can't hate him for it any more. I understand, as well. Damar now
hates the old ways of Cardassia, and some of our old attitudes and
beliefs likely played a part in driving him to murder. I believe that
he's trying to overcome what caused him to pull the trigger, and
they're the same things that caused the excesses of our past. I don't
see a better choice except to support him, especially since he's
strong enough to do it. He's a rare man. Not many can face their flaws
and make an effort to overcome them."

Kira nodded. "It's the thing that makes me admire him. I told Kai Winn
that the worst of us can be redeemed and if . . ."

Garak interrupted her with a laugh. "You told the Kai of Bajor that?
When you said 'worst', you meant her, I take it. I know you've never
held her in high esteem."

Kira grimaced. "I thought she was ready to try to redeem herself. I
was wrong. But now Damar is doing what she wasn't strong enough to do.
He's redeeming himself, and I don't think he even realizes it."

"No, redemption isn't a thing sought by Cardassians."

"He is in his own way, and I want him to keep trying. If I really
believe that the worst of us can be redeemed, then I have to support
him."

Garak gave her an odd look. "And this helps you to justify sleeping
with him?" he asked carefully.

Passing her hand over her eyes, she sighed. "Maybe so," she admitted.
"It's just that he's changed so much. He says that he hasn't, but I
think he's trying to protect his ego by saying that. He's become a
much better man than who he was in the past. I like who he's become."

"I can see why," Garak said softly.

"It's not a matter of choosing him over Odo," Kira said in assurance,
as much for herself as for Garak. "Damar knows that's never going to
happen. I'm not in love with him. I just like being with him."

Garak nodded. "Go to him. Or don't. I'll keep your secret for Odo's
sake."

Kira hesitated, torn again by her love for Odo and attraction to
Damar. She wanted to be with Damar again and support him emotionally
and satisfy him physically, and she wanted him to do the same for her.
Odo wasn't there to give her what she needed, but Damar was. If he
would have her, that is.

He had rejected her earlier in the day when their fight had turned to
passion, and she understood his rejection. Though she didn't mean to
do it, she had hurt and confused him by giving him conflicting
signals. That had been unfair. She rose from her bunk, not looking at
Garak, and went up the stairs. She desired Damar and he needed her. In
that moment of time, that was all that really mattered.

---

Mila had given Damar a suspicious look when he asked her for
directions to the cleansing room. Not that he could blame the elder
woman. He certainly hadn't started off on the right foot with Mila by
destroying two rooms in the mansion, though he did clean up his mess.
With her apathetic attitude to Cardassia's plight, Mila hadn't gotten
off on the right foot with him, either.

Perhaps there were many like her, content to live her life under
whatever tyrant held sway over Cardassia at the moment. Now, however,
Damar knew there were those willing to fight and die in the cause of
freeing Cardassia from the tyranny of the Dominion. And perhaps, Damar
dared to hope, there would be others like him willing to fight and die
opposing the tyranny of their own past and for a future of true
freedom.

He found the door of the cleansing room, and when he opened it and
stepped inside, he gaped at what he saw. Sheer opulence. Marbled tiles
with veins of silvery gray through the pearly white stone covered the
floor. All the fixtures gleamed with elifiria and platinum. Along one
wall was a glass encased shower room large enough to hold three
people, and opposite it stood a long credenza set with large ceramic
sinks. Beneath a large window in a spacious alcove was the largest
cleansing pool he had ever seen. Damar moved to the pool thinking that
not even his mansion, the old, grand mansion that was the traditional
residence of the leader of Cardassia, had such a luxurious cleansing
room.

The pool, tiled with the same marble as the floor, stood empty, and
Damar went to the control panel, hoping that it still worked. The
cleansing room probably hadn't been used since Tain's death, though
everything was clean and sparkling and free of dust. Clearly, Mila
worked hard to keep up the mansion, and perhaps she had taken
advantage of the luxuries there. She didn't strike him as the type who
would, but he thought it was a shame if she hadn't. It would be a
shame for such a magnificent room to go to waste by being unused.

To his pleasure, the water controls for the pool still worked and
steaming water started to stream into the pool. While the pool filled,
Damar poked around, opening various doors. He found the private toilet
room, as opulent as the rest of the cleansing room, and a small
storage closet filled with lush towels and grooming supplies. He
picked up several jars of soap and opened each one to smell them,
surprised that none had gone rancid. Selecting a couple of large white
towels and a jar of soap that smelled of defrika and strof, he carried
them to the pool.

Hot water slowly filled the pool. Damar set the towels and soap on the
marbled rim, idly watching the water flow from several wide mouthed
faucets embedded in the sides of the pool. Deep enough to stand in and
still have the water come up to his chest, he thought that at least
five people could bathe at one time in the spacious pool. With the
water controls set to turn off automatically, Damar wandered away,
noticing another room off the alcove.

A sauna. Damar smiled. Perfect. He stepped into the large sauna room,
admiring the reddish-brown walls and rock-carved benches that
encircled the pile of navran rocks in the center. Finding the controls
by the doorway, he turned on the sauna. Almost instantly, the room
began to warm as the heating fixtures beneath the rocks turned on. As
the navran rocks began to heat, they gave off the earthy, slightly
spicy scent that make the rock popular for dry saunas.

Stripping out of his uniform, Damar relaxed down onto a bench near the
pile of heated rocks, feeling the heat soak into his bones. They had
arrived in the dead of winter in the capitol city, which was fortunate
for Kira. Unfortunate for Damar and Garak, for the cellar felt
uncomfortably cold. Leaning back against the wall, Damar closed his
eyes, feeling relaxed for the first time that long, strange,
exhausting day.

He still couldn't completely believe what had happened. Too many
momentous events took place in just one day for him to take it all in.
Too many devastating lows and exhilarating highs. How was it possible
that he had lost everything except Kira and Garak only to turn around
and gain the support of his whole world? How could he have been such a
failure and yet be seen as a hero to his people?

He chuckled. His people must really be desperate to have such hope in
him. Then he stopped chuckling. There wasn't anything funny about
that.

He saw their faces in his memory when he had stepped forward and the
people gathered around him. The looks of fear and shock after the
bombing, mitigating, as the smoke cleared, into surprise and hope and
something far too close to awe for his liking. In that moment,
suddenly the idea that people were spreading outlandish rumors about
him seemed true. The idea that they had refused to believe that he had
died became real. He had become something more to them than he had
ever imagined he could be. But a legend?

Damar couldn't help it. He laughed again. It was just too absurd to
take seriously. How could Cardassians, intelligent and clever people
that they were, possibly think of him in such heady, larger-than-life
terms? Damar didn't want to go near the delusion of that.

Unused to tussling with his ego, he simply tried to accept that his
people had turned him into a symbol, and he supposed he could live
with that, though the falsity of it grated on him. Still, in
remembering their faces, he took gratification in seeing their hope
and their excitement and courage in their willingness to fight. He had
fueled all of that, though it wasn't really him. It was their own deep
longing for freedom from the Dominion tyrants and their own belief in
their ability to gain their freedom.

They had all been proud of him. Damar had shrugged that off, knowing
that their pride was in their own courage and identities as
Cardassians as much as it was in him. Yet, it warmed his heart to know
that part of that pride had been for him. Since starting down the road
of rebellion, Damar had dedicated himself to being the best leader he
was capable of being, and now, remembering the pride in his people's
eyes, he felt rewarded for the effort. Somehow, even though his
rebellion had utterly failed, he had proven himself worthy to them.

Just as rewarding had been the pride in Kira's eyes for him. That had
felt nearly as good as the people's pride. A contented smile came over
his face. He wanted Kira to be proud of him. He wanted to see that
pride in her eyes again and again.

He had challenged her to choose. Hate him or care about him. He hadn't
asked for love. That, he knew, would be too much to ask for. Too much
to hope for. He hadn't asked for forgiveness, for that would be
impossible. He had done the unforgivable. But he did need her to care
about him. He needed her support, as much of it as she was able to
give him. Even now, after they had turned a defeat around to a new
hope for triumph, he still needed support. As ever, Damar felt the
weight of his world on his shoulders.

After the bombing and the speech, as he and Garak rushed to the alley
and met Kira, Damar knew that she had chosen. By the look in her eyes,
he knew whatever hatred she had clung to was gone. She hadn't forgiven
him, yet she did care, and he wouldn't ask for more than that.

A soft, muted door chime broke into his thoughts. Lifting himself up
off the bench, Damar moved into the steam-filled cleansing room and
grabbed a towel from the rim of the pool. He wrapped it around his
waist, wondering who had rung the chime. Mila checking up on him?
Garak wanting to share the sauna? Garak's company would be welcomed.
They hadn't spent much time together alone, and there were things they
needed to discuss. Not the least of which was simply getting to know
one another better. Damar valued Garak's support as much as he did
Kira's. After all, all they had were each other.

The clouds of steam swirled as he opened the door and saw Kira
standing on the threshold. Hope rose and he tried to hold it back.

"Esorel," she said softly, intently.

"Nerys," he breathed.

"I thought we could celebrate together," Kira said, stepping to him
into the cleansing room. She lifted her face to his, and it felt
nearly like instinct to snake his head down and kiss her. As their
mouths touched, she pressed against him, wrapping her arms around his
waist. He pulled her close, enjoying the feel of her body against his,
her mouth locked with his. Another instinct pulled him back as he felt
the familiar small fear that made him cautious around her. Leaving her
mouth, he still held her but looked her in the eye.

She had come willingly, her desire for him clear in her eyes, and he
wanted her just as much. But would it be worth the hurt she continued
to cause him?

"Are you going to make love to me and then push me away again?" he
asked.

Kira gave a rueful smile as she shook her head. "No," she said simply
but he couldn't trust that. He stepped back, away from her arms. She
moved closer again, further into the cleansing room.

"What I think we should do," she said, rubbing her sleeve over her
brow, "is just take this one day at a time."

"One day at a time," Damar repeated flatly, unsure of her meaning.

"Right now," Kira said, "today, I'm here. You're here. We don't know
what tomorrow will bring so we should enjoy what moments that we have
together."

"And not concern ourselves with the future."

Kira nodded, wiping her face again. "It's so hot in here," she
muttered as she took off the gray robe.

"It's the sauna," Damar realized, feeling the heat of the room seeping
in from the door left open to sauna. It felt incredibly good to him,
but it was too much for her.

He moved swiftly to the sauna and switched it off then closed the
door. When he came back into the cleansing room, he found Kira
stripping off her uniform jacket. The sight of her and the
anticipation of being with her made his neck ridges swell again.

Noticing that she still looked flushed, he said, "Perhaps we should go
somewhere else."

She shook her head and moved over to the rim of the pool. Sinking
down, she moved her hand through the water.

"Still too hot?" he asked, sitting down on the rim next to her.

"A little," she admitted, then she gave him an inviting smile. "Can
you lower the water temperature?"

"Sure," he smiled as well as he caught her meaning. "But not too low."

"Don't worry," she said, reaching out to stroke his thigh with her
hand, "if you get too cold, I'll warm you up."

"I'll hold you to that," he replied, leaning towards her.

"I hope you will," she said as her lips brushed his then pressed
against his mouth, her tongue twining around his.

Her passionate kisses never failed to stir him. His lips left hers as
he trailed kisses down over her jaw and down the side of her neck. Her
smooth, cool skin delighted him, though it still seemed unfamiliar and
odd to him that his mouth wasn't sucking and licking scales and
ridges. No doubt his ridges felt equally strange to her, though that
didn't stop her from rubbing and caressing him as he explored her
throat. Even without ridges, she still responded with soft murmurs of
pleasure as a Cardassian woman would. As she lifted her chin, Damar
suckled under her jaw, and her murmurs became hitched and breathy.

He pulled away and stood, going to the pool's controls to lower the
temperature. "58c too hot?" he asked and she grimaced in response.
"All right. What about 40c?"

"That's too cold for you," she said as she leaned down to pull off her
boots. "I can live with it being a little hotter. Make it 48."

He complied as she pulled off her shirt, revealing her breasts held in
her simple white bra. As she took the bra off, he came back to her,
admiring the swell of her breasts and her luminous skin gleaming with
perspiration. Again, so different from what he was used to, though the
sight of her made his pod stir open. Taking her by the waist, he
pulled her against him, her soft, smooth breasts pressing against his
scaled chest.

As they kissed, Kira's hand slithered down to his towel and tugged it
off. Taking that as his cue, he slipped his hands down to the waist of
her pants and started to pull them down. She stepped away from him,
sinking down on the rim of the pool, and slid the pants down her thin
legs. He sat down next to her again as she continued to undress,
anticipation warming him but still caution warned him. One day at a
time. No promises for the future. No hope for anything more than a few
stolen moments of shared passion.

Kira must have seen his hesitancy in his eyes for she reached out and
gripped his hand in hers. "You and I both know," she said gently,
"that when this is finished, when the Dominion is defeated, that we
will go our separate ways. I'll go back to DS9 and Bajor. That's my
life and that's where I belong. And you'll stay here where you belong
and help Cardassia recover from the war and make your dreams come
true."

"Part of my dream," he said, caressing the back of her hand with his
thumb, "is for you and I to help create peace between Bajor and
Cardassia."

"That will happen," she assured him. "You know I want that, too. And
we'll do it. Me on Bajor and you on Cardassia."

"For now," he replied, bringing his face close to hers, "you and I
will make a different kind of peace."

She responded to his invitation to kiss him, her mouth opening to
receive his tongue. After their lingering kiss, still holding her
hand, he stood, drawing her up with him. They turned and stepped down
into the pool, their feet on the sitting ledge, the water up to their
knees. The water felt lukewarm to him and surely felt hot to her.
Neither complained.

Sinking down onto the sitting ledge, they sat in the water and pulled
close into another embrace. Damar trailed kisses down her neck again,
licking her salty skin, his hands caressing her breasts, buoyant in
the water, while her hands rubbed and pinched his neck ridges. As his
fingers played with her hard nipples, her ministrations brought him
into arousal.

Slipping off the ledge, Damar half-waded, half-swam through the
chest-high water to the pool controls. A simple stroke on the keypad
started gentle jets of water to swirl through the pool. Grabbing the
jar of soap, he carried it back to her. He opened the jar and scooped
up some of the thick, soft soap with his fingers. Kira smiled as he
lathered the soap over her arms and shoulders.

"That smells good," Kira commented. "What is it?"

"Soap scented with defrika and strof," he told her, enjoying the
spicy, fruity scent of the soap.

Taking some of the soap, she lathered it over his wet chest and
shoulders, massaging him with her soapy hands. He massaged her as
well, taking sensual pleasure in washing her and from being washed by
her. After scooping up more soap, he rubbed it around and under her
breasts. The gently swirling water caught the excess soap and frothed
it into bubbles on the surfaces.

Together, they explored each other's bodies with their hands and the
soap, washing each other, massaging and caressing every inch of skin
and scale. Kira dipped her head into the water and let him run the
soap through her hair, massaging her scalp, pleased by her relaxed
smile. Then he dipped his head into the water as well and let her do
the same for him. Her hands in his hair and on his scalp felt
incredibly good as all his tension seeped out of his body, all his
worries forgotten.

He pushed away from the sitting ledge and floated on the surface of
the water. Kira came and floated with him, twinning her legs around
his. Floating on the surface, he held her in a long, probing kiss
while his hands continued to explore her in the water. He reached down
and felt the short, springy hairs of her sex swaying in the light
currents. Slipping his fingers into her, he rubbed and caressed her,
enjoying the heat there and the murmurs of pleasure she made. While he
worked her, she started to work him, rubbing and pinching his
testicular scales, teasing them open while his penis swelled and
pressed against the sensitive insides of his scales.

"You're good to your word," he said in a teasing tone.

"Am I?" she asked, her eyes bright with arousal as he continued to rub
her.

"I'm warming up all ready."

"I can tell," she said with a laugh and slipped her fingers down
between the opening scales to caress his penis. "So, what scared you
more? Facing down those Jem'Hadar or giving that speech?"

He gave her a lop-sided grin. "The speech. I didn't have anything to
fear from the Jem'Hadar. I knew you were there for me."

"You're lucky that I got into position in time," she said, lifting her
arms to wrap them around his neck. "It would have helped if I had
known what you were going to do."

"I didn't know I was going to do it until I did it," he said with a
shrug.

"I can still picture you standing there in front of them," Kira told
him, her eyes bright with excitement, "saying 'I choose neither'."

Loving the look in her eyes, he said, "You liked that part, did you?"

"You were perfect," she said, then kissed him long and hard while
Damar reveled in her compliment and the reward of having her in his
arms again.

Damar righted himself to stand in the water, his hand still massaging
her sex, hers doing the same for him. His scales blossoming open, his
cock free and erect, she grasped him and ran her hand firmly down him
through the water. He pressed against her as the throbbing in his
penis intensified, and he encouraged her to step back until she was
against the wall of the pool.

With her against the wall, he continued to massage her, his fingers
between her labia, firmly rubbing her clitoris, feeling the heat
inside of her. All the while, she squeezed and rubbed him, and he
gasped in ecstasy when she slid her thumb hard up the underside of his
penis and firmly squeezed the bulbous head.

The pressure built within him until he couldn't stand it any longer.
He looked her in the eye.

"Ready?"

"Oh, yes," she breathed then hooked one leg up and around his thigh.

He positioned himself against her then reach down to take hold of his
penis. As he guided it into her, Kira gave a sudden gasp, and he
wasn't sure if it was from pleasure or pain. Holding onto her, he
pushed into her, her heat and tightness pushing him closer to the
edge. Kira gasped again and he felt her insides constrict. He thrust
into her, his ridges bumping over her nub, and he growled deep in his
throat.

Pulling out, he thrust again and her heated, moist sex enveloped him.
His breath turned into gasps as the pressure built, and her gasps
turned into yips and moans of pleasure that echoed against the marbled
walls and the surface of the water. In and out, faster and faster he
thrust, his movements churning the water around them. Kira held onto
him, her fingernails digging into his back scales, her hips thrusting
against him in encouragement. Then he slowed, pulling out little by
little, feeling lost in the exquisite pressure within him.

Kira quivered against him as he stretched the moment before he reached
the point of no return for as long as possible. She gasped, her
fingernails biting him, and she let out shuddering moans as he slowly
entered her and then pulled out. Picking up a little more speed, he
pushed into her again, barely able to contain himself. Exhilarated,
ecstatic, he built up the rhythm again, thrusting and thrusting, his
cock throbbing. He felt her flood, her juice sluicing over his penis
as her body shook. His breath fast and his heart racing, he pinned her
hard against the wall, and pushed into her, greedy to feel all of her
around him.

He slammed into her as she held him tight until he broke, his
ejaculation pumping out of him again and again, into her and spilling
out of her. Semen and soap churned in the water.

Pressed inside of her, Damar clung to her, catching his breath,
shaking from the orgasm. Then Kira pulled her arms away from him and
gave him a gentle push.

"You're about to suffocate me," she said.

"I'm sorry," he said, realizing that this had turned a little more
rough than he had dared to be with her in the past. "Are you all
right?"

"I'm fine," Kira smiled. "More than fine. Besides, I think I'm the one
who drew blood. Turn around and let me see."

Feeling suddenly exhausted, he did as she asked, turning towards the
wall and leaning against it. He felt her fingers on her back and
became aware of a series of sharp, small pains.

"I sure did," she said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure I'll live," he quipped as he turned back around. Kira held
her index finger up to her eyes, studying it with an odd expression on
her face. A pink mixture of his blood and water was smeared on the tip
of her finger. Her expression made him nervous, and then a familiar
look came into her eyes. Guilt. Shame.

Damar turned away from her, anger flaring in his belly. Here it comes.
Just like the other times. She was going to start in on how wrong it
was for them to have given in to their desires. How it wasn't worth
risking her relationship to Odo. Kira was going to push him away even
though she said that she wouldn't. One day he'd get through his thick
head that he couldn't trust her, however much he wanted to. Maybe
giving into their desires wasn't worth risking Odo's love for her, but
it wasn't worth the risk of being vulnerable around her, either.

Feeling tired down to his bones, Damar waded away from her. Already,
his testicular pod was closing, and he reached down to tuck his
flaccid penis into its bed of scales. Her hand grabbed his arm. In no
mood to listen to her go on about Odo, he roughly pulled his arm away
from her grasp.

As he moved away, he heard her following him through the water, then
both her hands took hold of his arms, tugging at him to turn around.
Damar stiffened. He had to be strong about this. Again. He turned
around and looked into her eyes.

The guilt and shame was gone. In her eyes, warm and bright, Damar
wasn't sure what he saw. Affection, perhaps, mixed with strength and
understanding. She smiled then wrapped her arms around his neck to
draw him against her. With a relieved sigh, Damar bent his head down
and kissed her, holding her close to him.

Enjoy the few moments they had, she had said. It wasn't going to last
and he knew it. He could live with that. In that moment, she was there
for him, and that was all he needed, though he wished the moment could
last forever.

---

Kira watched Damar sleep. It had been an exhausting day, and she
should try to sleep as well, but her mind was too jumbled up with
thoughts and emotions. They should go back down to the cellar where
they could scramble into hiding places if the Jem'Hadar came looking
for them. But she knew that the Jem'Hadar wouldn't. Not yet. The
Dominion still thought that Damar was dead, so they were safe for the
moment there on the upper floor in a long unused guestroom of the late
Enabran Tain's mansion. Soon, she knew, the Dominion would hear the
rumors swirling about Cardassia that their hero had returned alive,
inspiring the common people to rise up against the Dominion. Soon the
Dominion would renew their search for Damar.

Kira smiled at Damar's sleeping, peaceful form. The Cardassian legend.
The amazing thing, the most amazing thing, was how well that suited
him. Kira knew the power of legends. She knew people needed someone
they could believe in, someone to inspire them with his courage and
strength and dedication. Not some trooped out hero built more out of
propaganda than by actions, but the real thing proven by painful trial
and courageous struggle. And Damar had become the real thing.

How could she have ever expected that Damar would become such a
person? How could she have anticipated that such a label would suit
him so well?

When Kira first arrived at Damar's rebel base with Odo and Garak at
her side, she fully expected to come face to face with the arrogant
thug she had known in the past. She didn't think he was strong enough
to put aside his hatred. She didn't think he was capable enough to
successfully lead his rebellion. She thought he would be too stubborn
to consider the resistance tactics she was there to teach him. Damar
proved her wrong on all counts.

Damar was consistently courteous and respectful with her. He rarely
felt the need to exert his authority over her, and he never played
games with her like Dukat did or acted with hostility towards her in
any way. Instead of being an arrogant thug, he had risen to her level
as a professional soldier, and that made it easier to tolerate him.

Because of his strong, dedicated leadership and Kira's tactics, his
rebellion had many successes. Small successes but they added up
against the Dominion and definitely weakened them. His rebellion had
gone extremely well, gathering momentum and new recruits with each
passing day.

Until today.

Kira sighed. What a day. How could they fall to such depths and rise
to such heights all in a single day?

She shivered, the deep night bringing a welcome coldness. Damar had
told her that it was winter in their part of Cardassia Prime, but it
didn't feel like winter to her. It actually felt comfortable during
the day, more like spring on Bajor. She felt lucky that it wasn't
summer. Needing a bit of warmth, she rose from the chair next to the
bed and slipped down under the mounds of blankets that covered Damar.
For him, it was far too cold and for her, she knew she was going to be
stifled by his body heat under all those blankets. But for now, the
warmth felt good and so did his naked body as she curled up next to
him.

Damar stirred for a moment and opened his eyes, then smiled and
brought his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Kira felt
content having him hold her. The Cardassian legend. Her Cardassian
lover. No, she didn't want to think of him as lover. That implied
love. But sex mate implied merely physical lust and what they had was
more than that. Her Cardassian admirer. That was better.

That was what they were in. They were in admiration. Less than love,
more than lust. What a strange change in fate that turned out to be.

Damar fell immediately back to sleep with Kira nestled in his arms.
Usually insatiable, he liked to go for marathon love-making, and she
suspected that when they had gathered their clothes and left the
cleansing room to find the guest room with its large, comfortable bed,
that Damar was going to try for another round. Feeling exhausted, Kira
had prepared herself to beg off, but the long, hard, strange day had
worn him out, and he had fallen asleep almost as soon as his head hit
the pillow.

Odo crept into her thoughts and she pushed the thoughts away. She
loved Odo and she hoped that he would understand. For in the
Resistance, this had happened time and again. During that time, two
people, under stress, cut off in hiding, knowing that death could come
for them at any moment, often found comfort and safety in each other's
arms. It had little to do with love and such liaisons rarely lasted,
just as hers with Damar would come to an end soon enough.

Finally, sleep claimed her, her exhaustion overtaking the round of
thoughts running through her head to give her a dreamless rest. Not
until pale gray light ghosted in from the windows of the room did she
awaken. Morning had come far too soon.

Slipping from Damar's arms, Kira sat up and stretched and wondered
what the day would bring. It felt like the beginning of the future
when everything could change for Cardassia. She looked up to the oval
shaped windows, the fog outside diffusing the light. Out there, a
people were poised to take back their world.

Kira looked back at Damar's sleeping form, his face half-hidden in the
pillow. I hope he's ready for this, she thought, then reach out and
shook his shoulder.

"Esorel," she said gently. "Wake up."

Shifting in the bed, Damar let out a groan while his hands groped to
drag the blankets closer around him.

"Come on," Kira insisted, shaking him again. "It's morning. We have to
go back down to the cellar."

Groaning again, he lifted his head and peered at her with bleary eyes.
"Give me another hour," he grumbled.

Kira chuckled. "No. We have a busy day ahead of us. We have to get
your people organized."

A smile spread over his face. "We do," he said with enthusiasm
creeping into his morning-hoarse voice. Sitting up, he stretched then
shivered. "It's cold."

"It feels nice to me," Kira commented as she got out of the bed. Damar
lifted from the bed, and they moved to the pile of clothing they had
made on the top of the dresser. Kira separated her Starfleet uniform
and robe from the pile while Damar picked up the armored jacket of his
uniform. As she dressed, she noticed him standing and staring at it.

"What is it?" she asked.

He hesitated, his eyes still on the jacket, then he said, "I don't
want to put this on. It doesn't seem right for me anymore. I'm not
sure why."

"Probably because you're not a military leader anymore," Kira pointed
out as she slipped on her uniform jacket.

"I suppose that's it," he said softly, and he sounded strangely
troubled.

"Is it that hard to give up your uniform?"

"I've been in uniform for nearly twenty-three years. More than half my
life."

"You must have been young when you enlisted," Kira commented as she
draped the gray robe over her arm.

Setting the jacket aside, he took up the gray pants and black shirt.
"Fourteen. That's the standard age. We're given three years of
continued education and training, then we're given our first posting."

"Well, I guess I can see why it's hard to give up," Kira said, trying
to be understanding. "But you lead the people now, and the military is
still your enemy. Your uniform isn't appropriate for what you need to
do."

"That's what it feels like," he agreed as he pulled on his pants.
"Inappropriate."

Kira watched him dress, realizing that he had been forced into yet
another life-changing decision. As much as he identified himself with
the military, the military had rejected him while the average citizens
of his world had opened their hearts to him. They were the ones who
needed his leadership, and that meant that he had to be one of them,
not a military dictator set apart from them.

Sinking down on the side of the bed, Damar pulled on his heavy boots
then rose again and grabbed his jacket. Holding it pressed to his
chest, he moved to the door and she followed him. On the threshold, he
stopped and reached out his hand to hold her by the arm.

"It was nice to wake up to your face," he said with a smile.

The compliment pleased her more than she expected. "Well, you'll have
to get used to it," Kira replied in a teasing tone. "It looks like
we'll be stuck living together for a while."

"I think that's the only part of hiding in that cellar I don't mind,"
he replied then bent his head down to kiss her lips.

Enjoy the moments, Kira thought again as she enjoyed his kiss. They
won't last and they would have to be stolen.

"Just remember," she said when she pulled away from him, "we have to
live here with Garak as well. He's not very comfortable with this. It
would be better if we don't flaunt it in front of him."

"No, that wouldn't fair to him," he agreed.

"We'll just have to be sure not to be demonstrative around him."

Damar laughed. "I thought you knew Cardassians better than that,
Nerys."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in private, we Cardassians are very passionate people."

"I've figured that part out," she replied with a smile.

"Around others, we're discrete. Public shows of affection aren't
welcomed here."

"Then this shouldn't be too hard."

He gave a rueful laugh. "You want to lay down a bet on that? I've
never been known for discretion, and I doubt we'll be having many
moments of privacy. Not if we're going to have to hide in that cellar
with Garak."

Kira moved past the threshold and down the corridor with Damar at her
side. "There's no choice about that," she said. "There are plenty of
hiding places in the cellar in case the Jem'Hadar decide to search
this house."

"True, though I don't see why they would," he replied as they made
their way through the house. "Enabran Tain's long dead, and I doubt
that many people know Garak's his son. There's no reason to connect
this house with us. On the contrary, it's ironic that we're hiding
here. The leader of the Cardassia and the head of the Obsidian Order
were traditional political enemies. The fact that me, a Bajoran
freedom fighter, and his unacknowledged son are hiding here trying to
start a revolution probably has Tain spinning in his grave."

He turned his head to give her a vicious grin. "I hope so."

Wondering what Tain had done to earn Damar's obvious hatred, Kira
moved with him through a large, well furnished common room then into a
spacious kitchen. The odor of something cooking filled the kitchen,
and Kira saw Mila fussing over a large pot. The smells in the kitchen
weren't unpleasant except for the redolent odor of fish.

"Good morning, Mila," Kira greeted her.

Mila turned from her pot and gave them both cool looks of disapproval.
Though that irritated her, Kira tried not to react. After all, the
woman was giving them succor.

"Well, there you two are," Mila said coldly, looking Kira and Damar
over. "There will be acibar for breakfast. I hope you don't mind."

Damar's eyes narrowed at that, though Kira had no idea what "acibar"
was.

"I don't mind," Damar said in a very cool tone. "I'll eat anything put
in front of me and be grateful for it."

Mila sniffed. "As well you should."

"However, I don't think that kind of fare is appropriate for Commander
Kira. She represents Bajor and Starfleet here. Would we want to give
her a bad impression of Cardassian hospitality?"

Anger flashed in Mila's eyes, and Kira shot Damar a narrow glare for
insulting their benefactor.

"Certainly not," Mila replied with wounded dignity.

"I'll be happy with whatever you give us to eat," Kira assured her.
"I'm sure acibar will be fine."

Mila suddenly looked mortified for some reason, and Damar wore such an
arrogant expression that Kira wanted to wipe it off his face.

"I doubt that it would be suitable for your palette, my dear," Mila
said, nearly stammering and giving apologetic looks to Kira and
insulted ones to Damar. "I'll get you something else."

"Please don't go to any trouble," Kira said, feeling confused by her
reaction, though knowing that Damar's insult had dug deep. "I'll eat
what you serve the others."

"Of course," Mila said with an uneasy smile.

Damar gave a nod to the replicator set in one wall. "Does that
replicator make a decent cup of eschelan?"

"Certainly not," Mila said with great affront. "I never touch that
thing. Replicators make for idle hands. You'll be having fresh food as
long as you're in my house. I'll bring some cups of eschelan down to
you in a few minutes. Do you care for eschelan, Commander?"

The word sounded familiar and Kira tried to place it. When she
remembered what it was, she schooled her face not to grimace. Hot fish
juice. That sounded as revolting to her as Ferengi snail juice.

"No, thank you," Kira told Mila as graciously as she could.

"Then some tea, perhaps?"

"That would be fine. Thanks."

Kira turned and followed Damar to the door that led to the cellar. As
they left the kitchen, Kira muttered angrily, "Was it necessary to
insult her?"

"Let's not go into that now," Damar muttered back as they went down
the stairs.

"So, what's acibar, anyway?" she asked. Below them, she saw Garak rise
from the portable comm unit tucked under the stairs.

"Not now, Nerys," Damar insisted then raised his voice. "Good morning,
Garak. Have you been awake long?"

Garak greeted them both with one of his patented meaningless smiles.
"I had difficulty sleeping. Too much on my mind."

"Same here," Kira replied. "Garak, what's acibar?"

Garak gave her a puzzled frown while Damar glared at her. "Acibar is a
grain used to fill beggar's bowls," he replied.

Kira blinked at that. Mila had insulted them. No wonder Damar had
reacted so rudely.

"Why do you ask?" Garak asked her.

"Apparently that's what we're having for breakfast this morning," Kira
said tightly.

"Were, at least," Damar amended. "I doubt she'd dare to serve it now."

Garak looked shocked. "Mila said that she was going to serve us
acibar? Surely, she was joking."

"I don't think so," Damar grumbled as he moved to his bunk and put
down his uniform armor. "She doesn't strike me as the joking type."

"No, I suppose that she isn't," Garak said.

"Don't worry about it, Garak," Damar told him. "Mila and I just got
off on the wrong foot."

"Trashing two rooms of her house would do that," Kira put in dryly.

"Dismissing our fight against the Dominion as meaningless would do
that as well," Damar countered hotly.

"Don't take what she says to heart, Damar," Garak advised. "Mila is
set in her ways. We can't expect her to be happy that we've brought
trouble to her doorstep."

"Well, hopefully we can avoid bringing her any more," Kira said.

"I don't have a strip of latinum," Damar said then took a seat on a
stool near the stairs. "Either of you?"

Both Garak and Kira shook their heads, but Garak pointed to a storage
container resting on his bunk.

"I've found some items in the cellar that might be saleable on the
black market," he said. "I had the feeling we would need to purchase
some things. A computer set-up here would be helpful."

"Very helpful," Kira agreed. "The database will need to have current
schematics of all Dominion installations here on Cardassia. Can the
black market handle that?"

"I'm sure they can," Garak replied.

"I can fill in any holes they miss," Damar put in. "I know most of the
important installations, at least."

"Was there something you wanted to purchase?" Garak asked him.

Damar cast a glance at the armor jacket on his bunk. "A change of
clothing."

"Civilian clothing?" Garak asked in surprise, then his tone turned
thoughtful. "Yes, that seems appropriate. Our people will see you as a
civilian leader now."

The door at the top of the stairs slid open, and they looked up to see
Mila coming down the stairs carrying a large tray.

"Something like that," Damar said to Garak. "In theory, the leader of
Cardassia is supposed to transcend social status and bridge the gap
between the military and the civilians. That's never been a reality in
Cardassia, and I think it's time to make it one."

"Too bad you're not the leader of Cardassia anymore," Mila said dryly
as she joined them. "Legate Broca is."

"Broca?" Damar grimaced. "Where did they drag him in from?"

"I don't know," Mila said as she set the tray down on a stack of
storage containers. "I just heard the news. It happened last night
sometime."

"Who is he?" Kira asked.

"He was commander of the Tenth Fleet," Garak told her. "Apparently, a
very ambitious man."

"Obviously," Kira said with a shake of her head. "He puts his own
ambition before the needs of his people."

"I only know he's reputed to be a good officer," Damar said. "Not that
that counts for anything anymore. If he thinks he's going to gain any
sort of power under the Dominion, then he's a fool."

"A collaborator," Kira sneered the word.

"A pretender," Garak declared.

"We can call him what we want," Damar snapped in annoyance. "It
doesn't change the fact that he's the leader now. Not me."

"Legate Broca's ascension to your office isn't legal under Cardassian
law," Garak pointed out. "Not while you're still alive."

"The Dominion made him the leader thinking you were dead," Kira said.
"Broca's a usurper. The Cardassians now have a choice. They can follow
the true leader of Cardassia, or they can follow the Dominion's puppet
leader."

Mila made a gesture to the tray of food as she looked at Damar.
"There's your fresh eschelan. And dohas bread and cheese. I hope they
meet with your approval."

Kira heard the undercut of sarcasm in her tone, but Damar seemed to
ignore it as he gave her a nod. "It's appreciated, Mila. Thank you."

"Yes, thank you, Mila," Garak said quickly as he picked up a plate.

"Let me know if you need anything else," Mila said to Garak, then
ascended the stairs and left the cellar.

Kira lifted up a slice of the cheese and took a tentative bite. She
had never cared for Cardassian food. About the only thing she could
stomach was larish pie, a dish still popular among the Bajorans long
after the Cardassians had left. The cheese, however, tasted fine,
creamy though with a strangely tart aftertaste. She helped herself to
another piece as she sipped the tea.

"I've been monitoring the sub-space chatter," Garak said with a smile
of genuine humor. "I've heard some interesting news."

"Such as?" Damar asked as he put some cheese on a slice of bread.

"The Grand Nagus Zek has stepped down," Garak said cheerfully. "You'll
never guess who Zek appointed to take his place."

"Not Quark," Kira said, afraid to hear that was the case.

"No," Garak said.

"Who was that other one?" Kira asked, trying to remember the name.
"That slimy one always causing Quark trouble. He seemed ambitious
enough to bid for the position. Brunt. That's it."

"No," Garak shook his head.

Annoyed with Garak's little guessing game, Kira growled, "Then who?"

"Rom."

Peeling with laughter, Kira choked out, "Rom?"

"The one and only," Garak chuckled.

"Rom?" Kira repeated. "That's absurd."

"Well, the Ferengi always were a little absurd," Garak said.

"Zek has gone insane," Kira shook her head.

"I know," Garak said. "There isn't anyone more inappropriate than
Rom."

"That's what they said about me," Damar pointed out.

"I just can't imagine it," Kira wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

"I don't know," Damar said to her. "I always thought Rom carried
himself with great dignity for a Ferengi when I had him in that
holding cell on Deep Space Nine."

Kira nodded. "He does have more courage than I ever expected. And he
has a very compassionate heart."

"And not a political bone in his body," Garak added then took a bite
of bread.

"Well, he has Quark looking out for him," Kira smiled. "I'll bet Quark
is just green with envy right now."

"I should say so," Garak chuckled.

"Any other interesting news?" Damar asked.

"Apparently, you're alive," Garak told him.

"Imagine that," Damar smiled.

"There's been quite a hew and cry throughout the night," Garak said.
"The message is going out in all directions. They've probably heard
the news on Vulcan by now. Sub-space and the local channels are full
of the news that Damar is alive. The Dominion is trying to suppress
it, of course."

"They can't suppress every comm unit in Cardassia," Kira said as she
sat down on a stool near Garak's bunk. "Let's hope it continues. The
more excited people get about Damar, the more they'll want to join
us."

"There is one more bit of news," Garak said. "Unsettling but not
unexpected. The Dominion is starting to withdraw from their lines back
to Cardassian space."

"We knew that'd happen sooner or later," Kira nodded. "It doesn't give
us much time to get your people organized. If the war eventually comes
to Cardassia, we'll need everyone in place and ready to fight against
the Dominion in order to divide their attention."

"And we need to turn the military forces against the Dominion," Damar
said. "This isn't going to work unless we're all united in the
effort."

"We're going to have to work fast," Kira said.

"We wouldn't want to lose our momentum," Garak agreed. "I think that
we should take advantage of organizations already in place that may be
willing to join us."

"Like the black market," Kira nodded. "Or labor guilds. There are
labor guilds in Cardassia, aren't there?"

"A number of them," Damar told her. "All state-run, of course."

"There are university organizations," Garak put in. "The Retasan
Institute, for instance."

"The Retasan Institute?" Kira asked.

"It's an important think-tank in the scientific community," Damar told
her.

"Perhaps we would find supporters in the Cardassian Medical
Association as well," Garak continued.

"Yes," Damar said absently, staring off into space with a frown of
thought and a troubled expression on his face.

"What is it?" Kira asked him.

Damar hesitated, then looked at Garak. "What about the Philanthropy
Association?"

Garak looked surprised at that, but not nearly as surprised as Kira,
philanthropy being something she would never associate with
Cardassians. She decided that was unfair. Why couldn't Cardassians be
philanthropic? She could well imagine that Legate Ghemor had been that
way.

"I'm not sure, Damar," Garak said doubtfully. "I know they do a number
of good works in Cardassia, so I mean no disparagement, but it is
essentially an organization of bored wives of Guls and Legates with
nothing better to do with their time."

"That's not true, Garak," Damar corrected. "That's only a
misperception. It's largely a women's organization, but they get their
volunteers from all walks of life. The association is practically
organized into cells already. There are about hundred different
committees set-up all across Cardassia, networked through the
association. I think it would help a lot to take advantage of that
network."

Garak gaped at him and Kira right along with him. She could imagine
some Cardassians being philanthropic, but she wasn't about to buy
Damar being that way, no matter how enlightened he had become.

"How do you know all this?" Garak asked him in clear disbelief.

Damar shrugged. "My wife belonged to the association."

"The bored wife of a Legate," Garak said knowingly. "She probably only
joined out of obligation to her position as your wife."

Damar's eyes flashed with anger. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't make
assumptions concerning my wife," he snapped. "She joined out of duty
and, she joined because of the prestige of being associated with such
high-ranking people. That was important to her. But she took the work
of that organization seriously. Certainly more seriously than I did."

"I didn't mean any disrespect," Garak assured him. "But the kinds of
people involved in the Philanthropy Association wouldn't be interested
in fighting against the Dominion. Many of those women running the
committees are wives of officers in power right now because of the
Dominion. They're the enemy."

"Sounds like he's right, Damar," Kira said. "It's probably too risky
to get them involved. We can use other organizations. The
universities. Labor guilds. Science and medical organizations."

"The civilian dissident movement grew out of such organizations,"
Garak said. "They were the foundation of the dissident's power base
that gave support to the push for civilian government. There may be
remnants of the dissident movement left. Some willing to join us."

"Unlikely," Damar grunted. Kira frowned at his tone as he suddenly
stood and paced away, his face etched in a scowl. "When Dukat came
into power with the Dominion, the civilian government was crushed, and
all elements of the dissident influence was purged from Cardassia.
Anyone with the slightest leaning towards dissent was either executed
or sent to a labor camp, or they escaped into exile. I made sure of
that."

Kira's blood turned cold at the bitterness in his voice and
implication of his words. Mutely, she glanced at Garak, not wanting to
ask Damar to confirm her fear.

"Yes, I had forgotten about that," Garak said slowly, sounding
doubtful about Damar for the first time since joining the resistance.
"I suppose that's because lately you sound just like a dissident.
Sometimes it's hard to believe that you're the same man Dukat had put
in charge of the purge."

Kira swallowed. "The purge," she muttered and closed her eyes against
the image of Legate Ghemor dying on DS9. Dying in exile away from his
homeland because of men like Damar. Feeling his eyes on her, she
looked up and his haunted, pain-filled expression nearly matched her
own. The only difference was the stabbing guilt she saw in his eyes,
and the disgust she felt for him within herself. As though in shame,
he turned his face away.

"I doubt any dissident hiding on Cardassia would want to join us,"
Damar said softly, bitterly, "however much I wish them to."

"When you started your rebellion," Garak said, "very few wanted to
join you. That's changed around because you've proven yourself. It's
possible that whatever dissidents are left will want to join us. More
than possible, Damar. What you want for Cardassia now isn't that
different from what the dissidents wanted. We just need to let them
know that."

"If they're willing to listen," Damar replied, his eyes still fixed
away from her and Garak. "If Jehr Bastin listens."

Garak frowned. "Jehr Bastin? Are you serious?"

"He's still on Cardassia Prime somewhere," Damar said, finally looking
at Garak. "We were never able to root him out from his hiding place.
It's well known that he swore he would never leave Cardassia, and he
still has very loyal followers. Loyal enough to have never revealed
where he's hiding."

"Who is he?" Kira asked.

"A very radical voice in the underground," Garak supplied.

"He's still very influential," Damar told her. "At least with people
who think the same way he does."

"And he despises Damar," Garak added. "He writes scathing pamphlets
against the military and against Damar that are spread through the
underground throughout the Union."

"He despises the Dominion as well," Damar said.

"Your point of common interest," Garak nodded. "You may convince a few
dissidents left to join you, but I doubt he will. I've read some of
his pamphlets, and he does nothing but insult you in them."

"Unfortunately, he insults me with the truth," Damar said bitterly.
"I've read them, too, though they're banned materials in Cardassia.
Everything he writes about me is the truth, and he doesn't use nice
turns of phrases to soften the blow. Anyway, he doesn't just write
insults about me. He has some very interesting ideas about reforms.
Reforms I may want to implement. I want to meet him."

"He's too radical, Damar, and he hates you too much. We can't trust
him not to betray us."

Damar set down his half-eaten breakfast then straightened. "I'll risk
that. I want you to use your contacts in the black market to find him
as quickly as possible. But before you do that, find Lady Nelren's
comm unit address."

Standing, Garak shook his head. "I don't think that's good idea."

"I think it is," Damar said firmly. "Just do it."

"Very well," Garak said then moved back to the comm unit.

"Lady Nelren?" Kira asked, putting aside her plate. "Who's she?"

"The head of the Philanthropy Association," Damar replied, giving her
a hard look as though daring her to argue with him about it. "She's
the most compassionate woman in Cardassia and I trust her. She's been
long widowed, so we don't have to worry about her compromising us with
her husband."

"We do have to worry about her friends," Garak replied dryly as he
worked on the unit.

"I trust her," Damar repeated as though it was his final word on the
matter.

Ignoring his tone, Garak said, "You know her that well, do you?"

"I've only seen her a few times," Damar admitted. "That doesn't
matter. I know she'll help us."

"How can you be so sure?" Kira demanded. "How can you be sure she
won't turn against us?"

"I just know," Damar replied, not looking at her.

He was hiding something, Kira realized, not liking the implication of
that. Going to his side, she gripped his arm. "Who is she, Damar? What
does she mean to you?"

Still refusing to look at her, Damar let out a frustrated sigh. "There
was never a shred of evidence. No proof in any form. Lady Nelren hid
her activities very, very well. Because she was such a beloved and
respected member of Cardassian society, Dukat never dared to accuse
her without clear evidence. I tried my best to get that evidence, and
now I'm glad that I failed."

Garak twisted in his chair. "Lady Nelren was part of the dissident
movement? Her name never appeared on any list that I recall."

"She was rumored to be a sympathizer," Damar told him. "According to
her friends, she never cared about politics. But she is a very
compassionate woman, and it was rumored that when the purges started,
she hid dissidents and helped them to escape Cardassia. They were only
rumors, but everyone believes they're true."

"People in Cardassia have been convicted on lesser evidence than
rumors," Garak pointed out, turning back to his work.

"Not her. We're talking about a woman loved on every level of society.
Through the Philanthropy Association, she put food on people's plates
during the famine caused by the Klingon war. She found medicines for
the sick. She has been given the Cardassian State Medal of Exemplary
Citizenship four times. Dukat pinned the last one on her chest himself
while having me lead the investigation into her activities behind her
back. You don't accuse such a person of treason without irrefutable
evidence. Not if you don't want to turn the entire Cardassian Union
against you."

"I don't have to tell you, Damar," Garak said, "that irrefutable
evidence can be easily manufactured."

Glaring at him, Damar countered, "I would never do such a thing."

"Never?" Garak asked in surprise. "Not even back then?"

"I had no desire to ruin Lady Nelren without just cause."

"Even though Dukat undoubtedly put pressure on you to find just
cause?"

"A great deal of pressure. But Dukat wanted hard evidence, and there
wasn't any."

"That's difficult to believe," Garak replied, not taking his eyes from
the screen.

"What is? That Dukat wanted hard evidence or that there wasn't any?"

Garak finally gave him a piercing look. "That there was hard evidence,
and that you conveniently didn't find it."

Damar snorted. "I had a team of one hundred investigators focusing on
her alone. There's nothing convenient about not finding evidence that
was never there in the first place."

"Yet, you absolutely believe that Lady Nelren aided those dissidents
during the purge."

"I know she did," Damar said evenly. "I just didn't have evidence.
Nothing was ever found. No witnesses came forward. No one willing to
testify against her."

"Ah," Garak nodded with satisfaction and smiled at Damar. "Not even
you."

A shiver went over Kira's skin and she blinked at Damar.

"Have you found her address yet?" Damar demanded hotly.

"Oh, yes," Garak said with a gesture to the screen. "I'm just making
sure that your communication with her won't be detected by the
Dominion. I don't want Jem'Hadar to be beating down our door in the
middle of it."

"Then concentrate on your work."

"Almost finished."

Garak worked intensely for another minute then stood up. Gesturing at
the stool, he said to Damar, "Have a seat. "

Sitting down in front of the comm unit, Damar stroked a key padd. A
moment later, a Cardassian man appeared on the screen. As he blinked
at Damar in shock, Damar asked to speak with Lady Nelren.

They all waited in silence, Kira and Garak out of the range of sight
of the monitor, then an elderly woman with gray hair streaked with
black appeared on the monitor. She gasped upon seeing Damar.

"Legate Damar," she exclaimed, her paper-skinned hand going to her
throat. "I was so pleased to hear the news that you were still alive.
I just didn't know what to think. The rumors kept changing. It's good
to see you again."

"Thank you, Lady Nelren," Damar said graciously.

"Please accept my condolences for your family," Lady Nelren said
sincerely. "I miss your wife terribly. She was a good-hearted woman."

"She was," Damar agreed, his tone sad. "I contacted you because I need
your help."

"Anything," Lady Nelren cut in quickly. "You know that I'll do
anything for you."

"Our people are ready to fight against the Dominion for our freedom. I
need to get them organized quickly, and the best means is to use the
organizations already in place. There may be a number of people within
the Philanthropy Association willing to join our efforts."

"There may," Lady Nelren said slowly. "I trust that this is
encrypted?"

"It is."

"Rumor tells me that many of our people are quite stirred up by the
idea of driving out the Dominion. I'm not sure just how much the
Philanthropy Association can help. After all, it's a bit of an
oxymoron for philanthropists to be involved in fighting battles.
However, there may be many whom we help who would be eager to join
you."

"As I was hoping," Damar nodded. "I certainly don't expect widows and
wives of Guls and Legate to join me. But there are those you trust who
can contact others."

"I believe so," Lady Nelren said. "And, Legate Damar, there are widows
who are willing to do what they can for Cardassia. Don't count us
out."

He smiled. "I wouldn't dream of it. There are tasks for anyone willing
to work for our freedom. Will you be able to gather those you trust
this evening? We'll need to meet and begin the organization."

"This evening will be fine," she assured him. "I assume you'll want to
meet here in my mansion?"

"If that's possible."

"It is. I'll take care of all the arrangements."

"Thank you, Lady Nelren."

"It's the least I can do for Cardassia," she replied and cut off the
transmission.

Kira didn't know what to think. Lady Nelren certainly seemed like a
gracious and sincere woman, but she wasn't about to trust a complete
stranger Damar barely knew.

"I don't know about this, Damar," she said skeptically as he stood.
"You just may have given our enemies a way to trap us."

"Besides, I don't think you should leave here," Garak put in. "The
Dominion is, without a doubt, searching for you now that they know
you're alive."

"It's worth that risk," Damar said. "We'll have the cover of night.
But we need to start somewhere. Lady Nelren knows the right people to
be involved with this, and you'll work through the underground to find
the rest. We'll meet with everyone tonight, and Kira will explain how
they're to be organized and what our tactics will be."

"Just don't forget," Garak said as he made his way to the stairs.
"Anyone of those people can be a betrayer. We may have to trust, but
we don't have to trust too much."

---

Kira could barely see. Holding onto Damar's arm so he could guide her,
she crept through the shadowy streets of the wealthy neighborhood,
keeping the hood of her robe down low over her face. A tellek robe,
Garak had called it, and Damar had said that women wearing such robes
were far too common a sight in Cardassia. It was a robe of a widow in
mourning.

At least the disguise served its purpose, though she didn't like Damar
moving through the streets with nothing but the dark night and fog to
hide his face. Any one getting a glimpse of him would recognize him.
Every Cardassian knew his face, as did the Jem'Hadar and Vorta. So
far, Garak had led them through dark areas where there were few
patrols and fewer people around.

Kira supposed that it helped that Damar wasn't wearing his uniform.
Garak had procured a few suits for him, so at first look, Damar would
be taken for an ordinary civilian. It was too much to hope, however,
that the Jem'Hadar constantly patrolling the streets of Cardassia were
only giving a close look at men in uniform.

Garak had made finding a computer for the cellar his first priority,
returning with it soon after he left that morning. Then he was gone
for the rest of the day, working long hours with his black market
contacts to find others wanting to join the fight and to find this
Jehr Bastin who hated Damar.

Not her first choice in an ally, but an out-spoken dissident was
unlikely to betray a man who risked his life for Cardassian freedom.
Unless he wanted revenge. Kira imagined that Bastin would want that
for the thousands of lives lost during the dissident purge. The
question was, would he wait until the war was over before acting
against Damar?

Kira and Damar had spent the day combing through the schematics stored
in the computer, looking for suitable targets. She found numerous
ones, and now it was time to teach the Cardassian civilians how to
take those targets out using guerilla tactics. Not terrorist tactics.
Damar had been adamant about that. She was not to use the term
terrorist or terrorism. Only guerilla or freedom fighting tactics were
acceptable terms to him.

He had insisted on the same when she had first joined the rebellion.
Cardassians may have to fight like Bajorans, but they didn't want to
be reminded of that fact by using Bajoran terms. Damar didn't even
like using "resistance movement". He always called it a rebellion or a
liberation movement, and now he was calling the civilian's burgeoning
effort to fight for their freedom a revolution, as Garak had
suggested.

It all didn't matter to Kira, but she complied with it. Cardassians
made too much fuss over semantics. But she had to admit that she liked
the term "revolution". It sounded just right to her. A revolution to
destroy the old Cardassia and their Dominion oppressors to be replaced
with a new Cardassia focused on freedom and peace.

Garak had returned with the twilight, giving Damar the dubious good
news that he had located Bastin and, with great effort, had convinced
him to meet with Damar that evening at Lady Nelren's mansion. Even
better news was that Garak had made numerous new contacts in the
underground and had invited a select group to the meeting as well.

Now Garak led her and Damar through the shadows of mansions of the
Cardassian high society, taking a twisting route as though to hide
their trail. Regardless, when they came upon Lady Nelren's mansion, it
seemed to Kira that it wasn't that far away from Tain's house. Perhaps
Damar was right. It seemed unlikely that the Dominion would suspect
that Damar was hiding in a wealthy neighborhood where the families of
powerful military men lived.

Kira felt the muscles of Damar's arm tense under her hand as they
approached the dark-shrouded front door of the mansion. Glancing
about, she saw no one near, though her heartbeat raced. Damar
hesitated before going up to the door.

"Damar?" Garak whispered.

Damar shook his head as Kira let go of his arm. He took a deep breath
and then another one, his hands clenching and unclenching. Clearly he
was as nervous as she was, perhaps even more, but resolution shone in
his eyes and he nodded to the door.

"Let's do this," he said, and Garak nodded back then rang the bell.

A moment later, the door opened, and Kira saw a darkly lit foyer
beyond it as a man came to stand before them.

Looking them over, he said, "Follow me."

Kira pushed back the hood as they followed the man through the dim
foyer into a corridor. He led them through a series of corridors, all
barely lit, until he came to another door. Opening it, light flooded
the corridor, and Kira blinked to adjust her eyes. The man stepped
aside to allow her, Damar and Garak to enter.

She stepped into a large room filled with a strange mixture of
Cardassians. Standing or seated in the rows of chairs were women
wearing dresses of rich material, and other women in coarser, plainer
clothing. There were a few women and men in uniform and other men in
civilian clothing. Some were old, some middle aged, but most of them
were young. Some of them looked at Damar in awe, others with
suspicion. And all looked at her with confusion and suspicion
bordering on contempt. She heard Damar take in a sharp breath.

Lady Nelren stepped forward, giving them gracious smiles, even to
Kira.

"Thank you for allowing us to use your home," Damar told her.

"My pleasure," Lady Nelren said. "Everyone is here, so we should get
started."

"Of course," Damar said, looking about, his hands still clenching and
unclenching. Kira didn't think she had ever seen him so nervous. And
well he should be. It seemed to her that all these people had once
considered him their enemy.

"Bastin hasn't arrived yet," Garak muttered to Damar as they followed
Lady Nelren through the crowd of people.

"Looks like we'll have to start without him," Damar replied, his
disappointment clear.

As they came to the front of the room, Lady Nelren turned to the
group.

"Please, let's all be seated," she said, and the group complied,
noisily taking their seats then quieting as they looked with
expectation at Lady Nelren.

"I'm sure that I speak for all of us," Lady Nelren said, "when I say
that I'm very relieved and pleased that Legate Damar is with us, alive
and well and ready to continue his fight against the Dominion."

Most of the crowd nodded and murmured, though Kira wondered if they
truly agreed with the Lady or not.

"You are all here," the Lady continued, "because you want to take up
arms and fight the Dominion at the Legate's side. Or you are here not
to fight yourselves, but to give support of the fight. The Legate
tells me that we must all organize ourselves quickly, and he's here to
explain how that will be accomplished. Legate?"

"Thank you," Damar said as he took her place in front of the crowd.
"I'm pleased to see so many of you here. Though, I'm not sure that
you're pleased to see me because I noticed all eyes haven't been on
me, but on the compatriot at my side. I don't blame you for wanting to
look more at her than at me. After all, she's lovely woman. She is
also one of the strongest and most courageous people I've been
privileged to meet."

With that compliment, he gestured to Kira to come forward. "She also
has the most vicious pair of fists I've ever had pounded into me," he
said, looking at her with a smile as Kira came to his side. "Ladies
and gentlemen, Com . . . Colonel Kira Nerys of the Bajoran Militia.
Colonel Kira is also a Commander with Starfleet and is here
representing both Bajor and the Federation. She's agreed to teach us
Bajoran terrorist tactics to use against the Dominion."

Kira blinked at his sudden change of heart about emphasizing the
Bajoran influence in all of this as his words sank into the crowd.
None of them seemed happy.

"My other compatriot," Damar continued, gesturing to Garak, "is Elim
Garak, the last, as far as we know, remaining agent of the Obsidian
Order."

The crowd didn't seem too pleased with that, either.

"Mr. Garak will be organizing intelligence cells that will provide the
information we need to make our strikes and to procure the necessary
equipment to make those strikes.

"I realize that all of this is shocking to you. I know that most of
you here are civilians and that you've never imagined having to fight
for your freedom. But you're here because you want to fight. You want
freedom, and you know there is only one way to get it. To take up arms
and fight for it. But that's easier said than done, especially in our
current situation. We can't raise an army and make direct attacks
against our enemies. We would be slaughtered. But we can take action
that is considered less than honorable among us. We can strike at the
Dominion and weaken them, but we must use terrorism to do that. This
is a desperate time for Cardassia, and that means that we must do
whatever it takes win back our freedom."

"But Bajoran terrorism?" an old man in the crowd spat out. "That's
positively scandalous."

"Your name, please?" Damar asked him mildly.

"Gul Renal," he said as he stood to face Damar. "Retired."

"I'm sure you're aware of my reputation. You know I'm not afraid of
scandal."

Renal shook his head in disgust. "Yes, I've heard every story
imaginable about you, though I'd hate to know that even half of them
are true. Now I hear you've gotten everyone excited by blowing up a
barracks, of all things. The people on the streets may think you're
some great savior come to free them from the Dominion, but I'm not so
easily swayed by rumors and half-baked stories."

"That's good to know," Damar said. "We're not here to deal with rumors
and half-baked stories. We're here to drive out the Dominion by any
means necessary. Why are you here?"

"Lady Nelren thinks I may be of some use to you," Ranel replied,
"though I can't imagine how. I'm certainly not going to start behaving
like a Bajoran."

Kira schooled her expression to remain neutral, though the man's
insulting tone twisted in her stomach.

"I'm not asking you to," Damar said. "I am asking you all to love
Cardassia and yearn for its freedom so deeply that you'll be willing
to do whatever we must to free her. Can you do that?"

"I do all ready," Renal declared. "But to use terrorism . . . "

The door opening at the back of the room stopped him as a tall
Cardassian male followed by seven companions entered. The group of
latecomers surveyed the crowd with haughty expressions in spite of the
fact that their clothes showed them poor to the point of destitution.
They walked up the aisle between the chairs then stopped behind their
leader. The man gave Damar a hard, searing glare.

"Jehr Bastin," Garak said softly to Damar. Damar nodded then moved
down the aisle to meet Bastin halfway.

"Jehr Bastin?" Damar asked as he walked. The man gave a curt nod. "I'm
Legate Damar. I'm pleased you were able to come. Sit down and we can
continue the meeting."

Broad shouldered and towering over Damar, Bastin stood before him and
gave him an arrogant sneer. The tension in the room rose as they all
turned in their chairs to watch the two men.

"Why am I here?" Bastin demanded.

"For one thing," Damar said, his voice sounding hard and cool. "I've
been wanting to meet you for quite some time."

"I rather doubt that," Bastin spat.

"For another," Damar went on. "I like many of your ideas about
reforms. There are some I'd like to see implemented once the Dominion
is defeated. We need men like you with fresh ideas to help create our
new government."

"New government?" Bastin frowned at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Once the Dominion is defeated, Cardassia will be without a government
to support it. Surely, you see that. The old government is gone, and
we have the chance to build a new one."

"I wouldn't want anything to do with a government you'd put in place,"
Bastin sneered. "I can't imagine it would be anything better than the
old one. Everything you touch is a failure. Our alliance with the
Dominion. Your disgraceful attempts as our leader. Your destroyed
rebellion."

"Damar's rebellion wasn't a failure," Kira snapped.

"It's all right, Commander," Damar said over his shoulder. "He has his
right to speak his mind."

"Not when he isn't telling the truth, he doesn't," Kira said, stepping
forward to look up at the big man. "You said he wrote the truth, but
what he's saying now are lies."

"Who is this?" Bastin turned his sneer at her.

"Who do you think?" Damar asked. "Our Bajoran advisor. Colonel Kira
Nerys."

"One more proof of your incompetent leadership," Bastin said with a
disgusted shake of his head. "A Bajoran advisor. What do Cardassians
need with a Bajoran advisor?"

"We need a Bajoran advisor in order to learn how fight like Bajorans,"
Damar said coldly, and Kira fought off the urge to kick him. Why did
he insist on flaunting her in front of everybody that way? He wasn't
going to let these people have any sort of gradual acceptance of her.
He was going to beat them into it using her as his stick.

"Fight like Bajorans?" Bastin looked affronted.

"To drive off the Dominion just as the Bajorans drove off the
Cardassians from their soil."

Bastin blinked at that but seemed to give the idea it's due. "This
advisor of yours accuses me of lying."

"Nothing you've said is the truth as far as I see it," Kira countered.
"One, the alliance with the Dominion is a failure because the Dominion
made it one. They never made good any promises they made to Cardassia
and instead made things worse. That alliance should never have
happened in the first place, and that's Dukat's fault, not Damar's.
Second, the Dominion never allowed Damar to be a decent leader. They
stripped away his authority and broke the Detapa Council and never
allowed him any advisors to support him. How can anyone be a good
leader under those conditions? Third, Damar's rebellion was a success.
A great success. At one time, Damar and the rebellion were the only
ones effectively fighting the Dominion in the entire Alpha Quadrant.
He destroyed over half their ship yards and weapons depots and
destroyed the Vorta cloning facility on Rondak Three. In part because
of his efforts, the Dominion is in retreat. I challenge you to tell me
in what way any of that is a failure."

Bastin regarded her coolly. "You certainly have a passionate defender,
Legate Damar."

Damar said nothing, only stared at Kira looking a bit stunned. Bastin
turned back to her.

"The Dominion has suppressed everything about Legate Damar's
rebellion. The only things I've heard are rumors, and I admit the
rumors are favorable. Still, his rebellion was destroyed by the
Dominion. That makes it a failure."

"The only reason," Kira said heatedly, "the rebellion was destroyed is
because a so-called loyal Cardassian turned collaborator chose to help
the Dominion for his own ambition rather than to fight on the side of
Cardassia. And the rebellion isn't gone. It's growing again here and
now, though why Damar wants you to be any part of it is beyond me. For
some reason, he thinks you're a truthful man."

"I've always spoken the truth as I see it," Bastin said.

"Then your view of the truth is clouded," Kira snapped. "You hate the
Dominion, but you won't do anything about it, so you take out your
hatred on Damar."

"Have you ever actually read any of my pamphlets?" he demanded.

"I don't have to," Kira shot back. "Both Garak and Damar have told me
what you've written. A pack of personal insults against a man you
don't even know."

"I know him by his actions," Bastin declared.

"Really," Kira said, folding her arms over her breasts. "By his
actions? Then what truth do you see in the fact that he's here right
now willing to talk to you? He knows you hate him. He's read your
pamphlets. He says that all your insults about him are true. He could
have left you out of it, but he insisted that you join us. In spite of
everything you've said against him, he's willing to give you his time
and attention to hear you out. What does that say about him to you?
You know what it says to me? It says that he's a strong man willing to
put aside his ego in order to allow you your freedom of speech even
when you speech hurts him."

"Freedom of speech?" Bastin stared at Damar. "What is she talking
about? There is no freedom of speech in Cardassia."

"Well, there is now," Kira said.

"I believe in free speech," Damar said, still hard and cool. "Ever
since the Obsidian Order was destroyed. Ever since we stopped being
afraid that every word we say is going down on some report and filed.
It goes against our natures to have our speech suppressed. In our new
government, I want our people to have the guaranteed right to freedom
of speech."

"You do?" Bastin's hard stance softened. "You actually want that?"

"The fact that you're here now," Kira said, "and Legate Damar's not
trying to stop you from insulting him in front of all these people
proves that he does."

"I suppose it does at that," Bastin said, stunned. "I didn't realize.
Your Colonel's right. Perhaps I have made assumptions not based on
fact. What other things are you going to do with this new government?"

"I want to discuss all of that with you later," Damar said. "But, I
think we've made the others wait long enough. Take a seat. We need to
continue."

Damar moved to the front of the room as Bastin and his friends found
seats. Bastin stared at Damar as though not believing what he saw. All
of the Cardassians had the same astonished expressions on their faces.
Except for Garak, who was standing at Ralen's side.

"I believe our wager was five slips," Garak smiled at Ralen. Ralen
scowled and reached into his jacket.

"Wager?" Kira asked.

"On who would win," Garak told her. "You or Bastin. I, of course, bet
on you."

"You bet on the outcome of an argument?" Kira asked.

The Cardassians around her laughed.

"An ancient Cardassian past time," Garak explained. "The sport of
debate. You handled yourself like a professional. Congratulations."

"Yes," a woman near Ralen said brightly. "It was quite thrilling."

"Thank you," Kira said and shook her head. "Everyone knows that
Cardassians love to talk. I can't imagine how your people lived
without free speech for five hundred years. That must have been a
difficult constraint."

"It made us appreciate what little freedom in that area we had," Gul
Ralen said.

"It made us choice our words very carefully," Garak added.

"And it made us go underground to say what we wanted to say," Bastin
said.

"Commander Kira," Damar said, stepping aside from her. "Now that
you've won over the group, go ahead and start your presentation."

With a hard swallow, Kira stepped to the forefront of the crowd.
"Tonight, I'm going to lay out the basic organization of a resistance
movement. When I'm finished, I hope that you all will have the
necessary knowledge to go and start resistance cells of your own. This
group here tonight will be our core leadership. You won't all be in
one cell. Instead, each of you will create an autonomous cell of eight
to ten people."

As she continued her lecture, she was pleased to see that she had
their undivided attention. Unlike the last time she had to make this
lecture to a group of Cardassians, none of these people interrupted
her. However, after the lecture they all had a myriad of questions.

It made for a long night as she answered questions about the minute
details of organization and tactics. Her feet aching from standing,
she was relieved to be able to sit down and let Garak have his turn to
discuss the intelligence needed for their operation. The people had
just as many questions for him.

Not until deep into the night did the crowd slowly disperse in twos
and threes to avoid notice as they left the mansion. As they waited
for their turn to leave, several people gathered around Kira with more
questions. Garak had a group around him, and Bastin and his friends
surrounded Damar. Kira felt nervous about Damar's security, but both
he and Bastin seemed relaxed as they talked.

Finally, Kira, Garak and Damar were freed from the mansion, and Kira
found relief in the cool night air, though Garak and Damar complained
about it. In silence, they made their way back to Tain's mansion,
taking another twisting route, though Garak assured them that they
were not being followed.

Feeling tired but deeply satisfied, Kira and Damar followed Garak into
the mansion. Mila was no where to be seen, and Kira supposed that she
had gone to bed long ago.

"That went better than I expected," Damar said as they walked through
the mansion and into the kitchen.

"Yes, it did," Garak agreed.

"We should celebrate," Damar said.

"I'm too tired," Kira replied, moving to the door of the cellar.

Retrieving a bottle of kanar out of the pantry, Damar said, "A
night-cap, then. Something to take this chill off."

"It feels good to me," Kira said, "though I won't say no to a drink."

"Neither will I," Garak agreed as he took three glasses from a cabinet
then followed Kira and Damar down the stairs and into the cellar.

They sat down on the bunks, and Damar poured a healthy measure of
kanar into each glass.

"To the Cardassian Revolution," Damar said with a grin, then emptied
his glass in a quick swallow and poured some more.

---

Damar rested in a deep, peaceful sleep until a sudden cry pulled him
into wakefulness. Alarmed, he sat up and saw Garak rise from his bunk.
Another cry, nearly a scream, echoed off the hard walls of the cellar.
Quickly moving in the darkness, Damar hurried around the partition
Mila had Garak set up around Kira's bunk for her privacy. When the
light snapped on, Damar felt blinded for a moment. Squinting his eyes,
he saw Kira tossing on her bunk, crying out as if in pain.

"Nerys," Damar called her name as he sat down at her side and took her
shoulders. "Nerys, wake up. Nerys!"

Finally, her cries stopped and her thrashing eased as she awakened.
She blinked in confusion at Damar and Garak standing at his side, a
look of fear still etched on her face.

"It's all right," Damar assured her, brushing her hair from her face.
"You're safe. It was only a dream."

"A bad dream," Kira muttered, pulling her face from Damar's hand.
Seeing her still in distress, he tried to comfort her by putting his
arm around her shoulder. Suddenly, she shoved him back. "Don't."

"All right," Damar said, trying to calm her, though her reaction
angered him.

"I'm sorry," Kira said quickly. "I didn't . . . I just . . . It was
such a bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, go back to sleep."

Damar glanced over his shoulder at Garak, then nodded his head towards
their bunks.

"I'll leave you alone," Garak said softly, and Damar was pleased that
Garak had caught the hint.

"I'm fine, Esorel," Kira assured him, though she sat up holding her
head. "It just got me shaken up, that's all."

"Bad dreams will do that," Damar said quietly, "especially when the
dreams are really just bad memories."

"No kidding," Kira said bitterly, not looking at him.

"Mind if I turn out the light?" Garak called from the other side of
the partition.

"Go ahead," Damar replied and the room went pitch black again. As he
got used to the lack of light, he could see Kira's shining eyes.

"I'll be all right," Kira said.

"I know you will."

"Just go back to your bunk."

"I don't want to. I don't want to go back to sleep until you're
asleep."

"Why?" she asked.

Remembering something his mother used to say to him when he was a boy,
Damar said, "I thought I would stay and scare away the bad dreams and
let in some good ones."

For a moment, Kira was silent. "It won't help," she finally said.

"I could try."

Her tone turned harder. "Believe me, it won't."

"Because you were dreaming of the Occupation."

"How did you know?"

"I know what it's like to dream of bad memories, Nerys. I lived in a
nightmare for two years and sleep didn't take the nightmare away. A
lot of the time, I couldn't even fall asleep. I'd go for days at time
without sleep until I nearly fell over with exhaustion. Sometimes, I
think that I didn't sleep because I was afraid of the nightmares. At
least, they were worse than the one I was living in. Sometimes, I
drank until I passed out. That way, I didn't dream of anything. For a
while, anyway."

"The mutants told Dr. Bashir that you looked like someone who didn't
sleep," Kira said softly.

"The mutants?"

"Friends of Bashir's. Genetically enhanced humans. They called
themselves mutants."

"'Genetically enhanced humans? That idea is a nightmare in itself."

"You're right, and you didn't even meet them."

He smiled at her light tone then reached out to stroke her cheek.
"Well, they were right, whoever they were. When I did sleep and woke
up screaming, I was either alone or in bed with someone who couldn't
care less about me. Nerys, I can give you what wasn't given to me."

She let out a sigh that had a touch of longing, then she moved, and
Damar felt her hand stroke his hand on her cheek.

"I did dream about the Occupation," she said quietly. "And it was a
nightmare. I think being on Cardassia dredged it all up again. Me here
fighting for freedom again. Being surrounded by Cardassians."

"That's understandable," Damar replied just as quietly.

"You know, people who never lived through something like the
Occupation, I mean like the humans, they have this strange kind of
romantic view of Bajorans. Like we're some kind of strong and noble
race to be respected because we suffered and fought back. But there
wasn't anything noble about it. And it certainly wasn't romantic. Just
the opposite."

"You were strong, though," he said, pulling his hand down from her
cheek to hold her hand in his.

"No, not all of us. We weren't always strong. It took fifty years to
drive out the Cardassians because most of my people tried to just
ignore the oppressions and get on with their lives. Most of my people
didn't fight. A lot of us went to Cardassian-run schools and went on
to become scientists and engineers and doctors. Off-worlders sometimes
talk about the Occupation as though Bajor was just one, big labor
camp, but it wasn't. People made lives for themselves as best that
they could, but they weren't free, and they weren't willing to risk
their lives for freedom. Not everybody."

"But enough did."

"I suppose," Kira muttered. "Enough did and enough didn't. Those who
didn't fight tried to make the best of things. But do you know what
that meant? They had to ignore the oppressions. They had to ignore the
labor camps. They had to ignore the beaten and starving Bajorans in
the streets who had been punished by the Cardassians for the slightest
offense. And I mean slightest. Look at a Cardassian the wrong way and
you'd end up beaten within an inch of your life. So most of us learned
not to look at Cardassians the wrong way. That's how most of us got
through the oppression. By trying to pretend it wasn't there, or that
it wasn't so bad, or that it was the fate of the Prophets that we
became an enslaved people."

"Not you. You didn't pretend."

"No, I didn't," she said bitterly, her hand gripping his so tightly
that he nearly gasped. "I refused to. The Cardassians took my mother
from me and threw me into a mining camp. You know who did that? Dukat.
He made my mother into a comfort woman. In exchange, he promised not
to oppress my family as much as all the other Bajoran families."

Damar's stomach turned. "Dukat? And your mother?"

"Sickening, isn't it."

"Very, considering how he acted around you."

"I know," she flatly.

"I had no idea."

"Me, neither. Not until last year."

"I've been trying to figure out just when Dukat went mad. I have the
feeling that he was a little insane when he made the alliance with the
Dominion."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"I wish I knew it sooner. I wish I could have seen the signs. They
were there but I just didn't see them."

"Lets not talk about Dukat."

"No, lets not. You were talking about . . . a mining camp."

Kira talked for hours into the night, and Damar forced himself to
listen while holding her hand. Sometimes she gripped it so hard that
he was sure she would break his fingers. He endured it. The physical
pain distracted him from the pain within himself. From the pain of her
words describing her life and the suffering of her people at the hands
of his. For a reason he couldn't express, he felt it necessary to
listen to her every word, to hear the cadence of her voice, sometimes
bitter, sometimes heart-breakingly sad, sometimes strong and
resilient.

Occasionally, the thought would come to him that a bottle of kanar
still stood on the table by the computer. Occasionally, a desire to
drink slithered through him, growing stronger until he could almost
taste the kanar in his mouth. But he ignored such cravings. They
plagued him all the time, so he was used to them and used to pushing
them away. He didn't want to let go of her hand and interrupt her
narration of her life.

He listened and endured, feeling his own heart nearly break with pain
and remorse because of the cruelty of his beloved people. Because of
the cruelty he had done with his own hand. Sometimes he thought that
she was overstating things, making the oppression seem worse than it
was, making his people seem worse than they were. But he knew she
spoke the unvarnished truth. He listened, even when a tear, so rarely
free from him, slipped down over his cheek.

Worse, far worse than the pain of her words that drove knives into his
heart, was when her voice broke, and she cried as she told him about
Ghemor. That alone sent agony through him. His guilt over what he had
done to the dissidents had flayed open his soul that morning, but to
hear her mourn Ghemor with tears was nearly too much for him to stand.
He had put to death men like Ghemor, a man who Kira had loved. He had
bathed in the blood of enemies who were now allies, then tried to wash
it all off with kanar. He had bathed in the blood of dissidents who
had risked all for a better Cardassia. Yet now he had dared to stand
before them and proclaim himself one of them. His arrogance disgusted
him.

He never expected tears from Kira, and it hurt him that she was in
such pain that it had to come out in tears. It hurt him, and warmed
him at the same time that she trusted him enough that she would be
this vulnerable around him. Through it all, she clung to his hand as
though drawing comfort from him. Through it all he felt that a man
like him had no right to touch her.

All that day, they had worked together, sitting close around the
computer as they poured over schematics and discussed targets and
tactics. Just like during the military rebellion. That was all they
ever spoke about, all that they could speak about. Neither actually
knew the other very well, and what little they did know wasn't safe to
talk about. Like the Bajoran Occupation. So they spoke of the fight
against the Dominion and little else. In the awkward silences, when
the discussion had come to an end, they had no other words with which
to fill the void. He had made love to her three times, yet he realized
that he knew almost nothing about her life.

When she finally came to the end of her history, they sat in silence
holding each other's hand. Then cautiously at first, Damar began to
tell the other side. What it was like to grow up in Cardassia without
the freedom of speech or even the freedom to choose what one did with
one's life. What it is was like to grow up knowing that he would be a
soldier because that's what every boy grew up to be if he was fit or
wasn't chosen for the Obsidian Order. What it was like at his first
posting. A labor camp where he had to stand for hours at a stretch
under a unrelentingly bright sun with wind constantly scouring his
skin with blowing sand, bored from doing nothing but watching laborers
slave in the open-pit mine, and painfully lonely and missing his
family.

He talked for the rest of the hours of the night, and she listened
without comment, holding his hand as though to comfort him now, though
his life wasn't nearly as horrific as hers. By the time they both fell
asleep, side by side in each other's arms, they had learned more about
themselves than in all the years they had known each other.

---

Garak's voice awakened Damar, and he opened his eyes as Garak shook
him. Kira groaned, and she and Damar sleepily untangled their arms.

"Morning so soon?" Kira grumbled as she sat up.

"Mid-afternoon, actually," Garak corrected with a smile. "That's what
you get for talking the night away."

With that, he moved around the partition. Damar stretched and let out
a yawn before standing up. Kira went up with him, then put her arms
around his neck to give him a long, welcomed kiss.

"Thank you," she said softly, looking into his eyes in such a way that
Damar wished that Garak would leave the cellar so they could have more
time alone.

"You're welcome," he replied. She pulled away with a smile.

"You need a shower," she said.

"I don't doubt it," he said then moved away from the partition and
picked out one of the new suits hanging from the rack along the wall.

That kiss did something to him, he thought as he made his way to the
upstairs cleansing room. It had warmed him to his bones, and he wanted
to arrange to get another one and more from Kira.

The kiss and the meeting the night before that went so well and even
their night-long talk, regardless of how difficult it had been. It had
all done something to him. He felt refreshed. Renewed. Ready to take
on anything.

Going back down to the cellar, he passed Kira on the stairs and stole
another kiss from her since Garak's back was turned.

"So, what have you been doing all day?" Damar asked Garak as he came
to his side.

"Training my first Intelligence cells," Garak replied as he studied
the computer screen.

"Good," Damar approved, tugging at the sleeve of his new suit. It fit
fine according to Garak, but still didn't feel quite right.

"Yes, they've done quite well, and they're eager to go and recruit
more."

"What are you looking at?" Damar asked, peering at the screen.

"It's a model of the Dominion's communications network. They control
all the official sub-space relays."

"And the unofficial ones?"

"The black market, of course. Unfortunately, we can't fully rely on
those since they're easily detected. I want to try to get a tap into
the Dominion's network to use their sub-space relays against them."

"Good," Damar said with an approving nod.

"This model still has some holes in it. I have a team working on the
problem."

Damar chuckled. "You certainly have gained ground fast."

"Just a matter of knowing the right people."

"But you said that you didn't know anyone in Cardassia."

"I do now," Garak said with an enigmatic smile.

Not having anything better to do at the moment, Damar sat and watched
Garak work though he felt increasingly bored. Kira relieved that as
she came down looking fresh and smart in her Starfleet uniform.
Pulling at his sleeves again, Damar rose to greet her. Garak rose as
well, turning to Damar with a frown.

"Will you stop pulling at the sleeves?" Garak admonished then
straightened Damar's collar.

"They don't feel right," Damar grumbled, than slapped Garak's hands
away. "Stop fusing over me."

Garak stepped back to give Damar a critical study. "I suppose that I
can adjust the sleeves, though they are the right length."

"Garak, you have more important things to do. Your tailoring days are
behind you."

"As much as I appreciate that, I don't think I can live in this cellar
watching you constantly tug at those sleeves. You're going to ruin the
material."

"It's not the sleeves," Kira said. "You're just not used to wearing
civilian clothes."

"It's almost too comfortable," Damar nodded. "I feel like I keep
missing something."

"Your armor," Kira smiled, "your holster, your wrist comm unit."

She leaned closer to him. "I like you a lot better this way."

"Not so much stuff to get in the way."

"Exactly."

Damar laughed, wishing that he could kiss her again.

"I received a request from one of the leadership cells," Garak told
Kira. "They want you to teach them how to make an explosive device
this evening."

"All right," Kira said with a nod.

"I don't think I like the idea of Kira leaving the house again," Damar
said.

"I've arranged an escort," Garak told him. "We'll ensure her safety."

"But you can teach that cell just as well as she can."

"True, but I have another commitment with a different cell."

"You're not staying with her?" Damar demanded.

"She'll be fine," Garak assured him.

"Then I'm going with her," Damar said.

"No, you're not," Kira said. "You're not going anywhere."

"She's right, Damar," Garak added. "It's not safe."

Damar glared at the both of them. "It's safe for Kira but not for me?"

"I'm expendable," Kira said, "you're not."

"That's ridiculous," Damar protested. "I'm just as expendable as
anyone else. You're the one who isn't expendable. You're the expert on
terrorist tactics, not me. That makes you more valuable."

"Now you're the one being ridiculous," Kira snapped. "You're more
valuable to your people than I am. Look how they responded just to the
fact that you're alive. You're their inspiration, and inspiration is
just as important as tactics."

"So, what am I supposed to do while I'm being so inspirational? Sit
around here doing nothing?"

"No," Kira frowned at him. "We still have to find more targets for the
cells to strike."

He didn't like it, but he tried to be gracious about it. "All right,"
he grumbled, not sounding very gracious. Looking at Garak, he said,
"Contact Bastin for me and have him come here. We have things we need
to discuss, and we might as well do it tonight if he's free."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Damar," Garak said cautiously.

In frustration, Damar threw up his hands. "Of course, you don't," he
said sarcastically.

"No one should know where you're hiding," Garak pointed out.

"Except this escort for Kira, apparently," Damar countered.

"That's a necessary risk, but everyone in that escort has been checked
and verified by my contacts."

"By people you just met two days ago."

"It's a necessary risk," Garak repeated evenly. "Bringing Bastin here
isn't."

"I need to meet with him," Damar insisted.

"Concerning what?"

"It's time to make plans for the future."

Garak nodded. "The new Cardassia."

"Yes."

"Very well," Garak said with a sigh. "He shouldn't be too much of a
security risk, as long as he doesn't let anyone know where you are."

"Considering that the man has been in hiding for over two years, I'm
sure he knows a thing or two about discretion."

"I have no doubt," Garak said with a tight smile and went to the comm
unit.

Kira gave Damar a long look. "What's going on with you?"

"With me? Nothing."

"You were getting pretty uptight about this. Why?"

Damar stiffened. "Uptight? I don't think so. I just don't like being
questioned every time I turn around."

"Garak had a reasonable point."

"Yes, and so did I. Don't worry about it."

Kira shrugged. "All right. Are you hungry? I'm going to go see if Mila
has anything to eat."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

With Garak at the comm unit, Damar took the stool in front of the
computer and brought up the schematics again, thinking that he might
as well get to work. Though sitting around in a cellar looking for
targets wasn't what he had in mind for his role in the revolution. He
hated the idea of having to stay in the cellar for the duration of the
war. After two days, he already felt a bit stir-crazy.

Not that he had a choice. Garak and Kira were right. It was an
unnecessary risk for him to leave the house, and hating it wasn't
going to change that fact.

---

Kira kept close to Glinn Trelek's heels as they crept along the
alleyway. Officially considered AWOL, Trelek had chosen not to give up
her uniform when she joined the revolution because, as she put it, she
was a soldier for the true Cardassia, not for the military in the
grips of the Dominion.

Soldiers like her had been leaving the official ranks in droves in the
past three days, almost all of them as young and dedicated as Trelek.
Many went AWOL, but many more stayed at their postings and created
cells within the ranks. Thousands of officers and soldiers were now
part of the revolutionary movement, but it wasn't enough. As far as
they knew, no high ranking officers had decided to throw in their lot
with the people, choosing, instead, to stay the course with the
Dominion.

In spite of the lack of military support, the Cardassian Revolution
had spread like wildfire over the past few days as hundreds of cells
sprang up practically overnight across Cardassia Prime. Kira was
pleased that her instinct about the Cardassian people had been
correct. They really were fed up with the Dominion and had only needed
a strong, visionary leader to push them into action.

Inspired by Damar and excited to take part in freeing their people,
Lady Nelren and selected people from the Philanthropic Association had
gone immediately to work organizing the grassroots effort through
their committees. Damar had been right. The committees were
practically cells already. The cells spread the word from their
volunteers through every life they touched in every strata of
Cardassian society.

Garak's contacts through the underground drew in more supporters from
the labor guilds and university organizations. Under the Dominion's
nose, the Cardassian people had created a covert revolutionary
movement so quickly that Kira felt a bit stunned. Until, that is, she
took into account the Cardassians' talent for organization and
discipline and their in-bred loyalty to their own people that ideally
made their communities more important than themselves. That they all
could mobilize such a complex undertaking so fast shouldn't have
surprised her.

Gul Ranel had pledged to start working on his friends, retired and
active, in the military while Glinn Trelek organized the younger
officers she drew to her side. A young woman nearly as hard as Damar,
Trelek feared no risk and had adamantly declared that the young Glinns
would leave their posts and fight even if it meant disobeying the
older Guls. The command of Legate Damar superceded that of any other
officer. That wasn't true in reality, not with the Dominion in control
of the Cardassian military and with the false Legate Broca as their
nominal commander, but they couldn't help but approve of the spirit of
her words.

Kira and Trelek moved stealthily towards Mila's house, Kira feeling a
relief that safety was near, though that didn't make her lower her
guard. They both paused and swept the neighborhood with their eyes. In
the dead of night, no one was around, though the next Jem'Hadar patrol
was expected on the street outside Mila's house within six minutes.
Time enough to spare.

Trelek escorted Kira to the door, then disappeared into the darkness
as Kira slipped inside. The house was dark and quiet, as it should be
for this time of night. Nothing odd about the house would catch the
Jem'Hadar's attention as they marched by on their patrol.

Careful to make no noise, concerned more about awaking Mila than about
the Jem'Hadar, Kira made her way to the kitchen, groping the walls as
she walked. Finding the door to the cellar, she opened it and warm
light flooded the kitchen. Down below, she heard laughter.

As she came down the stairs, she saw Damar and Bastin sitting on the
bunks, glasses of kanar in hand, and laughing heartily. When they both
looked up to see Kira, they laughed even harder.

"I still find your story hard to believe," Bastin chortled.

"Believe it," Damar said, flashing a grin at Kira. "You wouldn't want
to find out I'm speaking the truth first hand, I assure you."

"I wouldn't," Bastin agreed, smiling at Kira then draining his glass.
"I'd prefer to take your word on it."

"More?" Damar offered, holding up the nearly empty bottle.

"No, no," Bastin begged off. "I've had enough."

Kira shook her head at the two of them. "I thought you were supposed
to be discussing government."

"We were," Damar assured her.

"We did," Bastin nodded. "We had an excellent discussion. Did we not,
Legate?"

"Yes, excellent," Damar agreed then took a drink from his glass.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't help you with your questions, though."

"That's all right. There's always the Ferengi."

That started Bastin laughing again. "I can't believe you're serious
about that."

"I'm completely serious," Damar said, still grinning.

"Did you know," Bastin asked Kira, gesturing at Damar with his glass,
"that he actually wants to bring in Ferengi financial advisors?
Ferengi! Can you believe it?"

"He's mentioned it," Kira replied with as smile as she sat down on a
stool near Damar.

"Free enterprise is a part of a free society," Damar said. "Since we
don't know anything about free enterprise, the Ferengi could teach
us."

"Where did you get this notion of free enterprise?" Bastin asked him.
"It's not a Cardassian concept."

"From a friend," Damar said with a shrug, though he tossed Kira a
mischievous grin. "It's just a new avenue to explore, Bastin. If it
works for us, we should do it. We need to explore any avenue that will
improve our current economic situation."

"I suppose that's true," Bastin said. "Though I've never considered
the role economics played in a free society. Still, freedom in all
areas is important, including trade."

Damar tossed back his kanar and refilled his glass. "Sure you don't
want more?" he asked Bastin.

"No," Bastin said as he stood. "I'm afraid that I must take my leave
of you. It's awfully late."

"True," Damar said, standing with Bastin. "Thank you for coming to
meet with me again. I enjoyed this time together."

"As did I," Bastin said sincerely, gripping Damar's arm. "You make me
look forward to our future."

With that, Bastin let go of Damar, gave Kira a friendly nod then went
up the stairs.

"Care for a drink?" Damar offered.

"Sure," Kira nodded.

He looked about as though searching for a glass. Chuckling, Kira took
the bottle from him and took a healthy swig.

"That's one way to go about it," Damar laughed, then took another
drink from his glass.

"So, what was the joke?" Kira asked him, moving from the stool to sit
on the bunk next to him.

"I was," Damar said, setting his glass down on the floor so that he
could hook his arm around her. He pulled her close against him. "I
told him about the time you beat me senseless."

Kira chuckled. "I'm glad you can laugh about it now."

"Why not?" Damar grinned. "Besides, there's something exciting and
dangerous about having a lover who can kill me with her fists."

"Well, you're safe with me," Kira told him, returning the grin. "As
long as you don't give me reason to kill you."

"Never," Damar said. "I'd much rather you make love to me than to kill
me."

"You've given me reason before."

"True, but that was then and this is now."

Damar snaked down his head, capturing Kira's mouth with his, pressing
her against him with his arms. The kiss felt good but tasted bitter.

Pulling back, she said, "You taste like kanar."

"So do you," he replied.

"I don't mind," she said, then took another swig from the bottle. "But
I don't see how you can stand drinking this stuff. It's like drinking
poison."

His face darkened for a moment, then he shrugged. "It's an acquired
taste," he said lightly, "but right now, I'd rather taste you."

Kira set the bottle down then twined her arms around him. Her mouth
sought his again, his lips, his tongue tasted bitter and felt
wonderful. Locked in their kiss, his hand slipped up between them to
cup her breast. Her nipples went hard and sensitive at his touch.
Reaching up, she grasped his neck ridges, giving them a firm rub.

They pulled back from the kiss, both breathing hard with arousal.
Damar started to pull her down onto the bunk, but Kira stopped him.

"Garak could come in any minute," she said.

He looked disappointed. "All we have are stolen moments, Nerys, and
this is one of them. Let's not lose it."

"I don't want to," she replied, then stood and held her hands out to
him. "We'll go to my bunk."

Taking her hands as he stood, he said, "Good idea."

Holding hands, she led him around the partition, and they both sank
down onto the bunk.

"We'll have to make this fast," Kira said, putting her arms around
him, letting him lower her down.

"I'll do my best," he replied, then muffled her response with another
kiss.

Lifting up from her, he started to undress her, his hands slowing
pulling off her uniform, his eyes so full of appreciation that she
couldn't remember anyone making her feel more desirable. His hands
caressed her skin, sliding up along her hips, across her stomach and
to her breasts, where he kneaded her flesh and licked her nipples.

In a haze of desire, she sat up to undress him, her eyes studying
every inch of his skin and scales as she stripped off his clothing.
Like him, she caressed him with her hands, feeling the scales nearly
ripple under her palms and taking pleasure in the smoothness of the
skin of his abdomen.

As she pulled off his pants, she saw the pump testicular scales
pulling back in anticipation as his penis thickened within his pod.
She rubbed his pod, the succulent scales blossoming open even further
to the point of no return.

Damar lowered her down again on her back then crawled on top of her.
With a forward rocking motion, he rubbed his opening pod against her
mound hard and deep. She wrapped her arms around him and held him as
she rocked with him, her sex becoming ticklish and excited. She longed
to feel him inside of her, to have his ridges rub her and his scales
pressing against the hairs of her mound.

Rocking and kissing, with her hands groping and kneading his buttocks,
his hands almost clumsily squeezed her breasts. Eager to push him into
further arousal, she sank her mouth down over his ridges and bit them,
nearly drawing blood. He growled in the heady mixture of pleasure and
pain. His scales fully opened and she felt his hard shaft rub up
against her.

His hand snaking down, his fingers slipped between her mound and his
scales, and he felt inside of her, satisfying his need to know that
she was as ready as he was. His touch made her shudder, and he grinned
as he pulled his wet fingers back. He slowed his rocking only to rub
down harder against her. Then, suddenly, he pounded into her, his
penis penetrating deep inside.

Kira gasped as he entered her, his ridges running fast against her
clitoris as he thrust again and again, while she pushed forward with
her hips, encouraging him to keep it up. He gasped with her from the
uniting, jolting pleasure of his ridges against her nub. Holding onto
him, she rode with him into ecstasy, while each thrust sent spasms
through her. Breathing hard and fast together, they climaxed together,
Damar roaring and she letting out a wild yell. Catching his breath, he
grinned then slipped down and lapped her clean.

She felt utterly sated and now only wanted to sleep, but he wasn't
finished. Switching places with her, he relaxed on his back while she
grasped his still hard cock.

Licking and sucking him, she felt his pulse throbbing in his shaft. It
didn't take much from her to get him to come again. She licked him and
bit at his ridges staining under his skin, then sank her mouth down
over him, trying to take all of him in. Sucking him hard, he shuddered
and bucked his hips, then ejaculated down her throat. He slumped back
down on the bunk with a satisfied sigh.

She curled up against him, resting her head on his chest and felt that
strange sense of relief again. A strange sense of comfort as though
she had gone without something important, only to have found it again.
A feeling she didn't quite understand, though it felt good.

Her thoughts went to Odo, dampening her comfortable pleasure in lying
with Damar. She missed Odo, the one she wanted to spend the rest of
her life with, while Damar could only give her momentary pleasures and
a sense of safety and relief in his arms. But why did Damar make her
feel relieved and as though she had regained something she had lost?
What did Damar do to her that Odo couldn't?

Odo was a fantastic lover, extremely generous and creative. He could
do things with his shapeshifting form that Damar could never dream of
doing. Odo fulfilled Kira completely. Except, Kira sometimes wondered
how much she really fulfilled Odo. Oh, he enjoyed sex, but she thought
that Odo really just enjoyed being with her, not necessarily the act
itself. Sometimes, she thought their lovemaking was a bit one sided,
with her receiving more pleasure from it than him. That bothered her.

With Damar, the pleasure was mutually satisfying. Damar, like Odo, was
extremely generous in bed, though a tad controlling. He didn't try to
control her. On the contrary. One of the ways he was generous was that
he let her do whatever she wanted with him. But Damar was very intent
about the timing of things. He constantly made sure that she was
aroused to the same level as he was and visa versa. They nearly always
climaxed at practically the same time and at the moment of that
climax, Damar and Kira were utterly and completely united. She loved
that ecstatic unity, that feeling that for one moment of heady bliss,
they were one in body and soul. For Kira, it was nearly spiritual,
though she doubted Damar felt that way. Or maybe he did. He wasn't a
spiritual man but maybe in that blissful unity with a woman, Damar
touched his soul.

Kira never quite had the same feeling of unity with Odo. She felt
united with him generally but not to the ecstatic depths that she had
experienced with Damar. The problem with Odo, Kira thought, was that
he never actually came. For Odo to ejaculate, he would have to break
off pieces of himself. Odo could make himself hard and thick and long.
But he could also make his cock go flaccid in an instance. Or make it
disappear. Because it wasn't a real cock, only an extension of Odo's
gelatinous form. He could make his cock anything she desired. He could
even put little ridges on it like Damar's.

Kira put aside that thought. As pleasing as those ridges were, she
didn't want to be thinking about Damar while making love to Odo. But
oh those ridges! When they bumped along her clitoris, she and Damar
both gave gasps of pleasure at the same time, feeling nearly the exact
same thing at the exact same time. Odo could put ridges on his cock,
but it wouldn't be the same. Kira would derive pleasure from that, but
Odo wouldn't know the same pleasure from those ridges that Damar felt.

Odo never quivered in an orgasmic frenzy. He never let out a roar of
ecstasy at the moment of climax the way Damar did. Odo never wore an
expression of wild bliss like the one that would come over Damar's
face as he thrust into her. With Odo, there was something a little
false about their lovemaking.

Kira loved Odo. She loved him in the depths of her heart. Odo was
gentle and compassionate and wise in ways Damar could never be. Odo
made her feel that she was the most important, the most special, the
most beautiful woman in the universe, and in his eyes, she was. Odo
would shapeshift around her in a dazzling cloud, and she would feel
him all over her skin and marvel at the truly magnificent creature Odo
really was. It was wonderful and delightful, and Kira knew that was
when Odo felt true bliss.

But it wasn't the same thing that Odo would have felt while in the
Link with other Changelings. With another Changeling, Odo could meld
and become truly and absolutely united with another. Kira could never
give him that. Odo was a mutable form; Kira was not. The Changeling
could become a solid form, or appear to be so, and act and move and
make love like a solid. But a solid could never do the same for a
Changeling.

It bothered Kira that she could never really completely fulfilled Odo
the way he could be fulfilled by his own people. And it bothered her
that Odo didn't receive the same depth of pleasure in lovemaking that
Kira received from him. It made Kira feel somehow deficient that she
couldn't give him the same absolute fulfillment that Odo gave her.

Perhaps that was why she desired Damar so much. One of the reasons, at
least. Kira was able to fulfil Damar as completely as he fulfilled
her. Perhaps those brief moments of utter unity were pale and
insubstantial compared to the lasting unity of the Link, but they made
Kira feel electrified and alive, and in that unity she knew Damar felt
exactly the same way. There was nothing false about Damar. He was the
real thing. All Odo could really do was to imitate a solid like Damar.

Odo did imitate solids well, and he did give her complete pleasure,
and he loved her as deeply as she loved him. Time and again, Kira put
her doubts aside. It wasn't important that Odo wasn't a solid. Sex was
just a part of loving him, and not really the most important thing.
Odo fulfilled her heart. Damar didn't.

Or did he? They both knew that their attraction wasn't physical
desire. Kira had never found Cardassians desirable and Damar had
admitted the same about Bajorans. It wasn't about the pleasures of
sex, though in sex, they found fulfillment in each other. Damar's body
did fascinate her and arouse her. However attractive Damar had become
in her eyes, her desire to be with him didn't come from physical
desire.

She enjoyed being around him because of his spirit. He had intensity
and drive, his heart dedicated completely to his people. All the hard,
cruel blows he had taken had made him a stronger, better man. The man
she once hated now touched her heart in ways she had never expected.

Whatever she felt for Damar, this moment would not last. Soon, she
prayed, the war would be over, and she would return to her life with
Odo. And that was the only thing she wanted.


After a while, Damar stirred and went back to his bunk to play out the
charade for Garak so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable being around the
people he was forced to live with. Kira drifted off to sleep only to
be awakened hours later by the sound of the door above the stairs
opening. Instinct pushed her up, and she crawled over the bunk to peak
around the partition.

In the darkness, she could make out Damar's sleeping form and Garak
coming down the stairs. Lying down on her stomach, she whispered to
Garak, "Where have you been?"

"Spreading propaganda," Garak whispered back as he came to his bunk.

"What kind of propaganda?"

"Oh, the usual thing," Garak said lightly. "Praising and glorifying
the good guys. Insulting and belittling the bad guys. Playing up the
legend angle."

She heard a huff of annoyance then Damar muttering, "Great."

"Don't worry, Damar," Garak assured Damar as he sat down on his bunk.
"Not all of the attention was on you."

"I should hope not," Damar grumbled as he sat up. "I don't like the
idea of propaganda. Is it really necessary?"

"Well, of course it is," Garak replied as though surprised Damar had
asked this. "Do I really need to tell you the power of propaganda
after what's happened in the past few days? The Dominion gave official
notice that you died, but no one believed them because of all the
unofficial news that had filtered in about how successful we were in
the rebellion. That fueled the people's belief in you. Now that the
rumor is going around that you're actually alive and organizing a
revolution, they believe in you even more, and thousands are joining
us every day."

Damar shook his head. "Propaganda is only a pack of lies to keep the
masses believing the State line. I know. I've seen it from both sides.
I used to believe all the propaganda was true until Dukat became
leader, and I saw how things were really run in Cardassia. Then I had
to spread even more lies in speeches Weyoun made me give telling
everyone how the Dominion cares about Cardassia and will make good on
their promises. The Cardassian people have been lied to long enough.
It's time to put a stop to it, not indulge in it ourselves."

Garak gave him a smile that nearly seemed fond. "I see your point,
Damar, but propaganda isn't always about keeping people blind with
lies. The Dominion has tried to do that with their own propaganda and
they've failed. Our propaganda is the truth, and you've seen how well
that's worked. We just need to keep spreading the word about you and
our people fighting the new revolution. It will bring even more people
to our side."

"All right," Damar conceded. "I do see the necessity. As long as we
stick to the truth."

"We're spreading around stories about how the people are rising up and
fighting the Dominion," Garak told them.

"I didn't realize people were actively fighting already."

"Haven't you been paying attention to the chatter on the local
frequencies?" Garak asked in surprise and some annoyance.

"Damar was too busy being a statesman," Kira said.

"A statesman?" Garak blinked at Damar.

"She means," Damar said, "that I spent most of the day meeting with
Bastin."

"Well, the people in the streets are already implementing Commander
Kira's tactics. Bombings, sabotage, attacks on Jem'Hadar patrols."

"Good," Damar approved.

"We've been spreading the word through out sub-space and the local
frequencies."

"So, you've started your own little Intelligence Bureau, have you?"
Damar asked with good humor.

"Very little," Garak said. "My black market contact gathered her
numerous and like-minded friends, and I spent the evening training
them on how to get around the Dominion blocks against illegal
transmissions. Her team is planning to make concerted efforts so that
all the stories we spread through sub-space and local frequencies
about the revolution mirror and support each other. A united voice, if
you will."

"That's excellent, Garak," Kira complimented him.

Kira settled back down to sleep, feeling content even as she missed
Odo and her friends. Content that everything seemed to be going so
well and her mission, once seeming doomed to failure, had started
turning around to be a success.

The next morning, they sat around the comm unit monitor to review the
efforts of Garak's propaganda while eating their breakfast. Mila had
brought them eggs, but Kira also found a pile of strange, little white
lumps on her plate.

"Guisa," Damar said and gave Mila a smile as he took his plate from
her hand. "Thank you, Mila."

"I haven't had fresh guisa for quite sometime," Garak said as though
this was a great treat.

"I used to have it for breakfast every day at the Legate's Mansion,"
Damar said.

"Ah, the privileges of power," Garak smiled.

"Well, it was one of the few privileges I was able to enjoy," Damar
said and took one of the small white lumps and popped it into his
mouth.

Kira picked one up and examined it. It felt cold and moist and she
noticed it had tiny tentacles hanging off it. "This looks like a
squid."

"It is," Damar said. "Pickled guisa squid."

"Pickled," Kira said with a grimace. "Pickled squid. For breakfast."

"It's not anything odder than what the Bajorans eat for breakfast,"
Garak said. "What do they call it? Havarenstai?"

"Yes," Kira said. "And it isn't odd."

"What is it?" Damar asked as he sat down on a stool.

"Tree bark moss," Garak said.

Damar frowned. "You're kidding."

"It's not tree bark moss," Kira defended. Garak made it sound so
unappetizing. "It's a vegetable cultivated on the trunks of the havar
tree. And it's delicious."

"Like Garak said, tree bark moss," Damar said with a grin, and Kira
rolled her eyes in annoyance. "All right. Cultivated tree bark moss."

"I've had it," Garak told him, "and I did find it pleasant though a
bit peaty."

"I can imagine," Damar said dryly.

Kira squinted at the squid. "This looks whole. It hasn't even been
gutted."

"The insides are the best part," Damar told her, and she didn't like
the mischievous gleam in his eye. "You put the head between your teeth
and bite down, and all the guts squish into your mouth."

"Damar," Kira admonished him. "You're not helping to convince me to
try this."

"It's not the most appetizing description, no," Garak agreed.

"I'll eat yours if you don't want it," Damar offered and popped
another one in his mouth. Kira could practically hear it squish
between his teeth.

"You should try it," Garak said. "After all, I was willing to try
Bajoran havarenstai. You should try Cardassian guisa."

"Garak, I've been eating Cardassian food ever since I got here," Kira
said. "I haven't had so much yamok sauce in all of my life."

"Are you going to try the guisa or not?" Damar asked.

"I don't think so," Kira said with a grimace.

Garak chuckled. "Such a brave woman afraid of a little squid."

"Funny," Kira sneered.

Feeling challenged, Kira picked up one of the squids, closed her eyes
and popped it into her mouth. It was rubbery, and she didn't like the
feel of the tentacles. The squid had the salty, vinegary flavor the
Cardassians seemed so fond of. And the insides did squish into her
mouth when she tentatively bit down on it. The insides, she found,
tasted delicate and savory.

"You're right," Kira said. "The insides are the best part."

"There," Damar smiled. "I knew you were a woman of good taste."

As Kira and Garak and Damar finished their breakfast, the door above
the stairs opened. They tensed then relaxed upon seeing Bastin.

"Good morning," Bastin greeted them. "I hope you don't mind me coming
around."

"Not at all," Damar told him.

"Last night," Bastin said, sounding excited, "I started thinking about
what you said concerning the bicameral legislature. Now, I know you
didn't agree, but I think this proposal is sound. What's needed is . .
."

"Oh, excuse me," Garak said with a smile to both of them. "I think
this is a good time to take my leave. The two of you may enjoy
discussing the minutia of government, but I prefer to go and get some
work done."

"Of course, Garak," Damar nodded. "I'll see you this evening."

Garak ascended the stairs as Mila brought down cups of tea and
eschelan. Damar and Bastin spent the morning head to head about their
ideas and plans for their new Cardassian Republic. Kira divided her
time watching the transmissions on the comm unit and listening to
Damar and Bastin talk. Garak certainly kept his Intelligence cells
busy. It was just as well that Damar ignored the propaganda. She
didn't think he could withstand the hyperbole surrounding him.

When Kira joined Damar and Bastin, she listened to their ideas and
interjected a few of her own. Bastin wanted to know the details of how
the Bajoran government worked, though both he and Damar thought the
Bajoran system was a bit too chaotic for Cardassians. There was still
a strong current of Cardassian stability and order in their plans of
government, but they left plenty of flexibility for the freedoms they
wanted to guarantee.

For a short time in the early morning hours, Glinn Trelek joined them
as Mila brought down fresh tea.

"Mistress Jurek is gathering supporters for a meeting this evening,"
the Glinn told Kira as she stepped off the staircase landing. "She
asks that you join us."

"That's not a good idea, Commander," Damar said.

"Why not," Trelek demanded heatedly, glaring at Damar.

This sudden show of hostility shocked Kira. Trelek was a hard young
woman, but she had been respectful of Damar up until now. What had
come over her? Kira expected Damar to meet hostility with hostility,
to become hard and blunt with her as he always did in the face of
harsh challenges. Instead, Damar smiled at her.

"The reason is obvious, I believe," Damar said mildly.

Trelek huffed at this. "Why should Commander Kira be kept hidden away?
We are proud of our Bajoran compatriot."

"It pleases me to know you feel that way," Damar said, again with
incredible mildness.

"Everyone should see her for who she is," Trelek declared, her head
held high in the perfect posture of Cardassian arrogance. Mila walked
around filling everyone's cups with tea and gave Trelek a frown of
disapproval.

"Except for the Jem'Hadar patrols, of course," Damar smiled at the
young Glinn.

Trelek took great exception to this and fairly bristled. "Of course.
What do you think? I would allow Commander Kira to become endangered?
I will escort her to Mistress Jurek's house myself. Or do you not
think I can handle that?"

"I'm confident in knowing that you will be the Commander's protector,"
Damar nodded at her. Next to him, Bastin looked away as though trying
to hide the amused smile on his face.

Trelek's hostile attitude floundered a bit in the face of Damar's
mildness, and Kira had the impression that the Glinn's pride had been
hurt by his reaction. "Good," Trelek said and gave Damar a sharp nod.

"Why does Mistress Jurek want me to attend this meeting?" Kira asked
her.

Suddenly, all of Trelek's hostility fled as she looked at Kira.
"Friends of Mistress Jurek want to implement some of your Bajoran
methods but are hesitant," Trelek said. "They need instruction and
encouragement."

"All right," Kira said. "I'll go."

"Commander," Damar said in warning.

"Legate," Kira said in challenge.

Damar grimaced and held up his hands. "All right," he sighed. "As long
as Glinn Trelek stays with you."

"Commander Kira will not leave my side," Trelek said coolly to Damar.
"Until this evening. Commander. Mr. Bastin. Legate Damar." She bowed
to each of them and left the cellar.

As soon as the upper door closed behind Glinn Trelek, Bastin started
to laugh.

"It's nothing to laugh about, Bastin," Damar admonished him.

"What was that all about?" Kira asked in confusion.

Mila sniffed. "The Glinn was flirting with the Legate. Such outrageous
behavior."

"She's young," Damar shrugged.

"She just wanted your attention," Bastin said.

"She had it," Damar said. "She's a handsome young woman."

"I could never understand why you think being argumentative and
hostile is flirtatious," Kira said. "You Cardassians are the strangest
people."

"Thanks," Damar said dryly.

"You disappointed her, Legate," Bastin said.

"Well, Legate Damar does a reputation as a heart breaker," Mila said,
clearly not approving of that.

"Does he?" Kira grinned at the older woman.

"You should hear the rumors about him," Bastin said. "Though some of
them are a bit far-fetched. I mean, three different women a day,
Legate?"

Kira laughed. "Talk about virile."

Damar shrugged and gave Kira a what-can-you-do smile that was all too
smug. Kira rolled her eyes. Men. No matter what the species, no matter
what the race, they were all the same.

"Half the women in the Cardassian Union claim to be his lover," Mila
snorted.

That deflated Damar and he groaned. "Don't believe everything you
hear," he grumbled.

He and Bastin and Kira went back to discussing the new Republic until
Kira decided to take a break and watch the sub-space transmissions
again. The amount of information flooding the airwaves was staggering,
though a bit monotonous. At least, new stories about cells
successfully attacking Dominion facilities surfaced now and again. It
amazed Kira to see how quickly the fighting had spread. Amazed and
thrilled her.

At last, Bastin left, giving Kira relief from the constant talk and
arguing about the smallest details of their formative plans. As Bastin
went up the stairs, Damar dragged a stool up to sit next to Kira at
the computer.

"Looks like you made a new friend," Kira commented.

"I think so," Damar said with satisfaction. "He's a good man."

"He has to stop coming around so often, though."

"Why?"

"It looks too suspicious, that's why. We have to keep the foot traffic
coming in and out of this house at a minimum."

"One man coming here now and again isn't suspicious."

"It is when you consider that Mila has lived alone here for years.
It's too odd for her to have so many visitors all the time."

"Bastin and I have important things to discuss," Damar said heatedly.

Kira turned to him, reaching out to grip his hand. "I know, Esorel.
This is important to you. But so is your security. So is Bastin's, for
that matter. He shouldn't be out during the day like he is now. He's a
wanted man, and he's eluded capture for a long time. But sooner or
later, he's going to be caught if he keeps showing his face."

"I suppose that's true," Damar admitted. "I'll confer with him over
the comm unit instead."

"We need to keep that at a minimum, too. We don't need the Dominion
tracing the signal back to us."

"Garak's taken care that. The signal's blind."

"The Dominion could find ways around that. You know that."

Damar glared at her. "Bastin is practically the only person I have to
talk to with you and Garak constantly gone."

Patting his hand, she said, "Well, I'm not gone now, and I think we
should get some work done. We still have plenty of targets to map
out."

"Very well," he grumbled, turning to the computer with her.

Pulling up their target lists, they fell into discussion and spent the
rest of the day adding more targets to the lists. Kira could see that
Damar was growing bored with the work, and she began to realize that
being stuck in the cellar for days on end was getting to him. He was
edgy and irritable, constantly getting up to pace while they discussed
the targets.

He was getting to her as well, but she tried to be patient, though all
she really wanted was time to herself. The cellar gave little privacy
in spite of the partition, and having some time alone away from being
constantly surrounded by Cardassians would be welcomed. But just as
Damar couldn't hope to be freed from his cellar prison any time soon,
she couldn't hope for any relaxing time alone.

---

Glinn Trelek gave Kira respite from Damar, though he only scowled when
she said good-bye to him when she left for the meeting. She thought
she should listen to her own advice about the foot traffic in and out
of Mila's house. It was dangerous to leave the safety of the house,
but she couldn't abide staying there all the time any more than Damar
could. She grabbed hold of any excuse she could to get away.

The meeting was held quite a distance away from Mila's house in a poor
neighborhood of the city. Jem'Hadar patrols kept a close eye on the
area, making the journey long and fraught with danger as she and
Trelek crept slowly through the darkened areas of the city. The
nightly clouds of thick fog from the nearby sea made hiding from the
patrols easier, but it also made it too easy to not see the patrols
until they were nearly on top of them.

Mistress Jurek's house was modest and stuffed with people all gathered
to learn Kira's tactics. As ever, the Cardassians were polite though
distant with her, not entirely trusting yet respectful nonetheless.
They all seemed to consider her as Damar had named her in the first
meeting, their compatriot. Kira maintained her poise, though being
around so many Cardassians she didn't know made her nervous. Trelek's
now familiar presence at her side gave her some sense of safety, but
she wished Damar or Garak was with her.

Regardless of how she felt, she didn't let it show. She had learned
fairly quickly that the Cardassians expected some sort of speech from
her at the start of these meetings. Having a short one rehearsed, she
spoke for a few moments about the importance of being united in their
fight for freedom and that freedom was worth any cost. She could just
hear Garak saying how cliched the speech was, though it had the
desired effect.

By the end of the meeting, the Cardassians seemed to settle down about
her, smiling easily and chatting with her. All of them wanted to know
how she happened to be on Cardassia Prime, and they all, of course,
wanted to hear all about Damar. She told them little and left them
disappointed, but there wasn't much to tell them about Damar besides
that he was alive and supporting the fight and working for the future
with his plans for a new Republic. She certainly couldn't tell them
that their hero was practically crawling the walls in frustration from
having to hide in a cellar while all his people were out risking their
lives in the fight.

When she returned to the cellar, she saw no sign of Damar. Her heart
pounding, she hurried down the stairs and searched the cellar while
calling his name. She ran to the stairs as Garak opened the door.

"Garak," she said breathlessly as she met him halfway up the stairs.
"Have you seen Damar?"

Garak took a sharp breath, his eyes quickly scanning the cellar below
them. "He's not here?"

"No," Kira growled angrily and pushed past Garak, "and if he's left
this house, I'm going to kill him."

"I'll help," Garak said as he followed her out of the door. Seeing
Mila in the kitchen, Kira stepped to her.

"Mila, do you know where Damar is?" Kira asked.

A muffled voice from somewhere in the kitchen replied, "I'm right
here."

Kira looked about then saw a pair of legs sticking out from under the
replicator against the wall.

"He's fixing the replicator," Mila told her. "That thing hasn't been
working right for days, and he obviously needed something to keep him
busy, so I put him to work."

"Mila," Garak admonished her, "you can't put the leader of Cardassia
to work fixing your broken appliances."

"Yes, she can," Damar's muffled voice sounded through the replicator.
"It's all right, Garak. I don't mind."

Garak shook his head at Mila. "You don't even use the replicator."

"I do for some things," she said with a dismissive gesture at the
machine. "It makes a decent cup of boiling water. But I never cook
using that thing. Besides . . ."

Mila stopped then took Garak's arm and pulled him aside. "Do you know
what he did?" she asked, lowering her voice and jerking her head
towards Damar's feet in disapproval. "He came up here demanding
another bottle of kanar, and then he wanted to sit and drink it with
me while he tried to tell me all about this new Cardassian Republic of
his. He got angry when I told him that the old Cardassia worked just
fine the way it was. I can just imagine where he gets these foolish
notions. I had to find him something to do just to settle him down."

Kira ignored the sidelong look Mila gave her.

"Well, Damar may go a little overboard," Garak told Mila, "but the old
Cardassia is not working just fine as long as the Dominion is here,
and you know that as well as I do."

Seeing the other's occupied, Kira turned away and went back down to
the cellar to take advantage of being alone for a while. She went to
her bunk and sat cross-legged on it. Taking a deep breath, she closed
her eyes and called upon the Prophets, not bothering to wonder if they
could hear her all the way on Cardassia Prime. She didn't have to. She
had faith, and she felt it deep within her. In a quiet voice, she
chanted her prayers and soon began to feel peaceful and calm.

A few minutes later, she heard the door of the cellar open and
footsteps on the stairs. She didn't cease her prayers until they were
over. Then she slowly opened her eyes, took another deep breath and
stood. Coming around the partition, she saw Garak at the computer. He
glanced at her to give her a smile of greeting, then turned his
attention back to the monitor. Kira came to his side and leaned
against the table.

"We're going to have to do something about Damar," she said quietly,
glancing up the stairs. "He's not going to be able to stand staying in
the cellar day and night for much longer."

"Well, I can hardly blame him," Garak agreed. "Keeping a Cardassian
isolated like this is very unhealthy. We need to be with others for
our well-being."

"Not that there's any choice," Kira said.

"No," Garak said, then paused before continuing. "I have to admit that
I wasn't pleased about you and Damar being with each other. You know
that I'm fond of Odo."

"I know," Kira said softly as the familiar guilt crawled over her.

"I hate to think how deeply hurt he would be if he ever found out
about this. However, it's probably helped Damar. He needs emotional
support, and he needs the touch of another person to help keep his
spirits up. I didn't expect that person to be you, but you've chosen
each other."

"I didn't expect it, either," she admitted. "But that's not what I'm
talking about. You and I can keep him company when we're here, but he
needs something to do to keep him occupied. Can't you find him things
to do here, Garak?"

"I thought he's been looking for targets for the cells."

"He is, but he's bored with that. He needs to have more than just one
thing to do every day. Besides the cells are supposed to be
autonomous. They should be selecting their own targets in their
areas."

"That's part of the problem. Autonomy. Damar had similar problems
during the rebellion, but that was a much smaller organization that he
had complete command over. It's different now. He can't command the
cells, nor should he for this movement to be effective."

"Damar's not asking to take command of everyone. He just wants a piece
of the action."

"He'll have to accept the fact that he can't, and I can't think of
anything else that he can do. The cells are all organized, and the
underground keeps everyone interconnected and supplied with
information and the materials they need."

"He's not going to be satisfied with just sitting back and letting
everyone else fight except for him."

"There's this new government of his. Isn't he working on that with
Bastin?"

"Yes, but I told him that Bastin can't keep coming around here. It
risks the security of both of them."

Garak nodded in approval. "I'm glad you said something about that
before I had to do it."

"He wasn't happy about it, but he understood. Besides, he's focusing
too much on that. The time to worry about a new government can come
after the war."

"I disagree. I think it's perfectly reasonable for Damar to focus on
it now. It means that we'll have something to replace the Dominion
with once they're defeated. And when the time comes, there can be no
question about Damar ruling Cardassia. We'll need to make sure he's
securely in power the moment the Dominion crumbles before someone else
bids for the position."

"That's a concern, but it might not happen for a long time, Garak. We
don't know how protracted this is going to be."

"Commander," Garak's tone turned annoyed, "do you have any solutions
to the problem?"

"No," Kira sighed. "I was hoping that you did."

"If I did, I would have presented the solution long ago. Believe me,
I'm perfectly aware of how unpleasant it is to have to live in this
cellar with Damar. He's been nothing but moody and irritable. And I'm
sure you've noticed . . . "

Garak cut off with a sigh, and he gave a worried look to the door
before lowering his voice. "I'm sure you've noticed that he's been
drinking quite a bit lately."

Kira shrugged at that. "I've noticed, but I don't blame him. I'd drink
too, if I were in his shoes. He certainly doesn't have anything better
to do. It's not as though it's caused any problems, Garak. He can
drink if he wants to."

"I suppose," Garak said doubtfully, turning back to the computer. "I
only hope it doesn't turn into a problem, if it isn't one already for
him. And I think it's likely."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I've seen the Intelligence reports on him from Starfleet."

"Everyone knows he used to be a heavy drinker when he was with the
Dominion. But that was then, and he hasn't shown any problem with it
since then."

"We're only talking about a few months ago, Commander. Did you know
that he used to drink while on duty?"

"I heard that," Kira nodded. "He says that he drank to cope with the
Dominion. He was miserable then."

"He's miserable now," Garak added pointedly.

The conversation put her ill at ease. "He is," she conceded, "but you
could be looking for smoke where there isn't any fires."

"I certainly hope so," Garak replied, though doubt was still heavy in
his voice.

The door over the stairs opened, and they both looked up to see Damar
coming down carrying a bottle of kanar and three glasses.

"Mila's replicator fixed already?" Garak asked, turning in his chair.

"As good as new," Damar said confidently then offered Garak one of the
glasses. "Care for a drink?"

"No, thank you," Garak replied with a mild smile before going back to
his work.

"You're sure?" Damar asked as though disappointed.

"I'm sure."

"Kira?" Damar offered a glass to her.

She didn't take it. "I'm pretty tired. I think I'll just turn in."

"You can have at least one with me," Damar said, pouring a healthy
measure of kanar into one of the glass then holding it out for her.

"All right," she said, taking the glass. "Just one."

Watching him pour himself a drink then gulp it down, she realized that
she had been having at least one with him almost every night for the
past week. Not that she had a problem with that, but Garak's caution
had disturbed her. Damar poured another drink and made short work of
it.

"What are you working on, Garak?" he asked, filling his glass again.

"I'm checking up on my cells," Garak replied. "We're still trying to
break the Dominion's blocks on transmissions going into military
facilities. I'm afraid we haven't had much luck getting information
about the revolution to the bases."

"Well, if anyone can figure it out, you can, Garak."

"I appreciate your confidence in me," Garak said lightly.

Damar looked back at Kira with a smile. "How did your meeting go?"

"It went fine. People catch on to the techniques pretty fast."

"Any problems?"

"None. Actually, everyone's been very respectful of me."

"Excellent," Damar beamed at her as he poured another drink. "I'm glad
to hear it."

"Well, I didn't expect to be respected by Cardassians."

Gulping down his drink, Damar lowered the glass. "Why shouldn't they?
You deserve respect and they know it. They know you're risking your
life here to teach us how to fight for our freedom."

"Just keep in mind," Kira said in warning, "that they may be willing
to fight for freedom from the Dominion, but they may not so open to
all these reforms you want to do."

"Maybe so," Damar conceded. "We'll have to help them understand that
they don't need to accept oppression in the name government any
longer. It's no different from what you told me about the Occupation.
You said that a lot of Bajorans became used to the oppressions until
it seemed like normal life to them. They tolerated what shouldn't be
tolerated. It's the same with us. I didn't realize just how much we
were oppressed until I started this rebellion."

"You're talking about some deep changes to our very way of life,
Damar," Garak said over his shoulder. "Some of them are too much to
ask for."

Damar emptied his glass then shook his head. "Such as what? Freedom of
speech? I know you don't like that one, Garak."

"It's not that I don't like it," Garak replied, still focused on the
screen. "It's that I don't think you and Bastin have thought it all
through yet. For instance, just how much freedom are you wanting to
give our people?"

"As much as possible."

"That's not an acceptable answer. There has to be limitations."

Damar snorted as he poured another drink. "Limitations. We've lived
with limitations all of our lives."

"Limitations give order and stability."

"Limitations create stagnation and fear," Damar grumbled. "We have so
many limitations imposed upon us that we're practically suffocating.
That's how I felt. Suffocated. When I rebelled, it was the first time
in my life that I felt like I was my own man. And do you know how that
felt, Garak? It felt great. I was free, and I knew I could do whatever
I wanted. That's what I want our people to feel. That's what I want to
feel again."

Kira frowned at his bitter tone. "You don't feel that now?"

"That I'm free?" Damar asked then gestured around the cellar with his
glass. "Of course not. I feel like a prisoner."

"No, I meant, don't you feel like you're your own man any more?"

Damar seemed to consider that then emptied his glass. "I'm not sure,"
he said. "Sometimes, I'm not even sure who I am anymore." Then he
sighed and filled his glass again. "It's this cellar. My entire life
has boiled down to me sitting here in this cellar with not much to
show for it."

"Except for the revolution," Kira pointed out, not pleased with his
growing despondency.

"The revolution doesn't need me," he muttered and gulped down his
drink.

"Don't let your circumstances get to you," Garak advised amiably as he
rose from the desk. "The revolution would not have started without
you, and you know it."

"I know it," Damar said without a trace of ego. "But it doesn't need
me now. Our people are depending on themselves, as it should be.
They're not depending on a leader or a government. Just on
themselves."

"For the time being," Garak said. "Everything will change once the
Dominion defeated."

"I live for the day," Damar said then took a long drink. When he
stood, he swayed on his feet. "Where are you going?"

"For this revolution," Garak said as he went up the stairs, "more gets
done at night than during the day. I have things to see to. I'll be
back in a few hours."

"I hope so for your sake, Garak," Damar said, watching him ascend the
stairs. "You've been putting in long hours, and you need the rest."

"I'll rest better knowing things are taken care of," Garak assured him
then went through the door.

Slumping back down on his bunk, Damar held the bottle to Kira. It
distressed her to see that he had nearly finished it.

"Want another one?" he asked.

"No, I've had enough," she said, rising from the bunk. "I'm going to
go and get some sleep."

He frowned at her. "Now? You don't want to stay with me and talk?"

"I'm pretty tired. I've been putting in long hours, too."

"So have I. Long hours of sitting around by myself and doing nothing."

Not interested in listening to Damar wallow in self-pity, Kira said,
"Good night, Esorel. Get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," he grumbled, hoisting himself back up. "Wait a
minute."

Kira nearly reached the partition when Damar caught up to her and
grabbed her arm. He clumsily pulled her against him.

"We don't have much time to be together," Damar said then kissed her.
She pulled away from him.

"I know."

"Stolen moments. That's it. Like now."

"Esorel, I'm tired."

"Come on. Just a quick one."

"There's no such thing as quick with you," Kira said with a smile.
"Besides, you're drunk."

"I'm not that drunk."

"You can barely stand on your feet."

"I'm not that drunk," he repeat then grinned, "and I won't be on my
feet, anyway."

She laughed. "I just want to sleep. Maybe tomorrow. When you're
sober."

"I'm not supposed to think about tomorrow with you, am I," he said
bitterly, then let out a sigh. "Just let me lie with you for a while.
All right? I've had to spend the entire day alone and now I just want
to be with you."

With a resigned sigh, she said, "All right. Come on."

Taking his hand, she led him around the partition. He sank down on the
bed and watched her undress, smiling the whole time. She would have
enjoyed his appreciation more if his eyes weren't so glassy. He
probably saw two of her after drinking so much kanar so fast.

"You're not going to get undressed?" she asked him as she slipped down
under the covers.

"No, too dangerous," he said. "I might be tempted to try something."

"You might be tempted," she said with a smile, "but I won't let you
try something."

"I have no doubt," he replied, then began to strip off his clothes,
getting tangled up in his shirt and then nearly tripping over his
pants.

Lying down next to her, he pulled the covers over them and curled his
arms around her. She rested her head against his shoulder and closed
her eyes.

"This is nice," he murmured.

"It is," she agreed.

After a moment, he said, "Do you think Garak's right? About me wanting
to make too many changes too fast?"

"I don't know. I like the changes you want to make, but I know you'll
have to compromise to get things done. Just don't compromise too
much."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He went quiet again, and Kira started to drift off to sleep.

"People aren't used to freedom here," he said and Kira suppressed a
sigh of annoyance that he woke her up again.

"They'll get used to it," she replied sleepily.

"I'm still trying to figure out what freedom really is. What it means.
And how do you have freedom without it becoming anarchy. That's what
my people fear the most. Anarchy."

"They may fear it," Kira said, "but they're willing to risk it. The
people joining the revolution don't feel bound to the Dominion or to
State any longer. The minute they committed to fighting for their
freedom, they became free themselves."

Damar smiled at that. "Exactly. That's exactly how I felt the minute I
decided to rebel."

"And you're free now," Kira told him, "even stuck in this cellar."

"I don't feel very free."

She reached up and lightly traced her finger along the side of his eye
ridge. "You're free in your heart. You're free to dream."

"I'm free to dream," he agreed, "and when it's all over, I'll be free
to make them all come true."

Smiling, he closed his eyes and finally let Kira fall to sleep.

---

Damar awakened with a pounding head and queasy stomach and twitchy
nerves. Staggering from Kira's bunk, he went to his own and wrapped
his blanket around his waist. Garak slept soundly on his own bunk.
Damar envied him. Through the night, he had lain with Kira snuggled in
his arms and stared out into the blackness. Try as he might, he
couldn't make himself fall asleep. Too many thoughts raced through his
mind. Too many worries about the present and the future. Finally,
sleep came to him, but when he awakened, he hardly felt rested.

Feeling awful, he told himself that he deserved it as he made his way
to the cleansing room. He had drunk too much the night before, and he
cursed himself for it. He hadn't meant for his drinking to get so out
of hand again. Today, he resolved, he wouldn't touch a drop of kanar.
He wouldn't touch kanar ever again. He hated the thought of that, but
he felt as though he couldn't trust himself any more.

It frustrated him that he had made the same resolution when he started
the rebellion. For three months, he had made good on that resolution.
Then he drank the day the rebellion died, the day a part of himself
had died with them, and his resolution to never drink again went
forgotten.

The shower made him feel better, as did the cup of hot eschelan Mila
gave him when he came into the kitchen. Going back down the stairs, he
passed Kira on her way up.

"Good morning," he said, catching her arm to stop her then gave her a
kiss.

"Good morning," she replied with a smile.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough. But you didn't. You kept tossing and turning."

"Sorry if I disturbed you."

Kira shook her head. "I didn't mind. It was nice to have someone in my
bed again, even if it was that hard bunk."

Damar smiled at that and continued down the stairs while sipping the
hot fish juice. With Garak still asleep, Damar made an effort to
remain quiet as he went to the computer. Pulling up his private files,
he made a few notes about reforms that came to him during the night.
His files were filled with such notes, random ideas and extensive
ruminations on various themes involved with government and power. He
hoped that one day they all would coalesce into something useful.

Beyond his knowledge of how the Cardassian military dictatorship was
run, he knew very little about government. He had ideas about what he
wanted but didn't know how to put them into practice. Bastin had
helped and so did Kira's input, but he needed more advisors and more
people involved in the planning of the new Republic. As Kira was
always quick to point out, he wouldn't be able to gather such people
until after the war, so he shouldn't worry about it now.

He did worry, and his worries frustrated him since he couldn't do
anything about them. So he poured his concerns out into his notes.
Starting a new file, he made a list of Cardassians he wanted involved
in the planning of the new government, people he didn't know but who
had struck him as being wise and open-minded. The list was rather
short.

Closing that file, he stared at the monitor for a moment. What else
could he do to fill the hours? Make a new list of targets and then . .
. nothing. He had nothing to do except sit about and worry. He felt a
familiar burn in his stomach and he grimaced. Another bout of
gastritis was just what he needed.

Ignoring the burning, he pulled up their covert access into the
Dominion's sub-space relays and looked for any sign of Federation
Alliance fleet movement. So far there hadn't been a clue to his
allies' intention now that the Dominion had fallen back. Surely, the
Alliance would take advantage of the Dominion's weakness now that they
had overcome the Breen weapon.

Or would the Alliance sit back and lick their wounds, taking advantage
of the lull in the fighting to rest and regroup? Damar hoped not. The
revolution was guaranteed to be protracted and bloody if the Alliance
didn't mobilize and help crush the Dominion. Especially if the
Cardassian military continued to remain loyal to the Dominion.

Kira returned to the cellar and went behind the partition to dress for
the day. Soon after that, Garak awakened. He left to take his shower
and returned looking refreshed with Mila at his heels carrying a tray
with their breakfast. Damar left the computer to eat his breakfast
with the others. His appetite off, he didn't eat much and didn't say
much either.

As they ate, the others talked about what they always talked about.
The revolutionary movement and recent attacks, the tactics and
targets, the lack of military support and the momentum of the
movement. Damar had little to add to the conversation that hadn't been
said already.

Soon enough, Trelek came to escort Kira away and Garak went with them.
And Damar was left alone again, staring at the walls and worrying and
trying not to go mad from it.

---

Kira felt guilty about leaving Damar alone but that couldn't be
helped. With so many cells being created so quickly, she had get as
many people trained in terrorist tactics as possible so that they
could go out and train others.

Such tactics needed more than just an evening meeting or two to teach,
especially when it came to making incendiary devices. None of the
Cardassian civilians knew how to make bombs, and it was too dangerous
to let them try to figure it out on their own. Kira concentrated on
teaching a core group of people, giving them all of her expertise,
making them experts as well.

Returning to the mansion once the sun had set and the fog clouded the
streets, Kira heard voices when she opened the door of the cellar.
Going down the stairs, she saw Damar speaking with someone through the
comm unit. She gave Damar a smile of greeting, feeling that sense of
relief again. It seemed odd, but she didn't realize how much she
missed him until she was with him again. She thought it must be from
the measure of safety she felt while being with him. He was the only
Cardassian beside Ghemor who ever made her feel completely safe while
with him.

Damar gave her a quick glance, then looked back at the monitor. On it,
Kira saw the craggy face of Gul Renal.

"I'm meeting with limited success, I'm afraid," the Gul said to Damar
with a frown. "The Dominion has curtailed military contact with the
civilian population. It's very difficult to speak to anyone in
authority right now."

"Glinn Trelek has been able to convince glinns to leave their posts,"
Damar pointed out. "I would think you could do the same with the
Guls."

"I'm not active military," Ranel shook his head. "I've tried to enter
several bases to speak with my friends, and I've been denied access."

"I'll have Garak provide you with false credentials," Damar said.
"We'll re-enlist you."

"I'm willing to do that," Ranel said. "Though, frankly, I'm not sure
that will help to contact my friends. As I say, they've been kept
isolated."

"Gul Ranel," Damar frowned at him. "We need your support in this. If
you can't get on the bases, you have been given a secure comm unit.
Contact them using that."

"I've tried, Legate," the man huffed in insult. "I've done all that I
can. But I'm limited in what I can accomplish, and my friends are
limited in what they can accomplish. The situation in the military has
grown very grim."

"I'm sure that it has," Damar said, "but there must be a way to work
around the limitations."

"I don't think you understand the situation," Ranel shook his head.
"When I say very grim, I mean very grim. Frankly, having so many
glinns go AWOL is just making the situation worse. There's been a
tremendous crack down in the last week. Jem'Hadar are everywhere. No
ship crew has been allowed shore leave. They're not allowed to step
foot on the planet. All the soldiers and the Guls commanding them are
restricted to base with no contact allowed from beyond the confines.
No visits to or from family or friends. Comm unit access has been
strictly curtailed. I was lucky to make any contact at all. The people
in the military aren't even allowed news about the outside world. Most
of them don't even know that the people are rising up in revolt. The
only things they hear are by word of mouth."

"You're correct," Damar sighed. "The situation is very grim. The
Dominion has their grip on the military, and they aren't about to let
go."

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to do more."

"I appreciate your efforts so far," Damar said then cut the
transmission. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed the ridges of his
brow.

Kira came and stood next to him. "No wonder Garak's had such trouble
getting the propaganda through to the military. The Dominion's made
every effort they can to isolate them."

"Very grim," he grumbled. "How are we going to do this?"

"If Garak can help Ranel get through to his friends . . ." Kira began.

"I don't think that'll change things much," Damar shook his head. "It
sounds like the military is being held prisoner by the Dominion. I
don't know. We'll have to try every avenue open to us."

"We'll talk to Garak about it when he gets back."

"If he gets back," Damar grumbled. "He hardly spends any time here
expect to get a few hours of sleep."

"He's been working very hard."

"And I'm grateful for that. He's done a tremendous job pulling the
underground together. I think every recruit we've gained is because of
him."

"Well, he's definitely in his element," Kira said with a smile.
"Especially when it comes to propaganda."

"Don't even talk about it," Damar said with annoyance. "Have you seen
what he's disseminating about me? A pack of lies."

"I wouldn't call it lies. I'd call it stretching the truth."

"There's nothing true about me fighting side by side with the people
of Cardassia."

"I suppose not. But look at it this way. You had your turn at fighting
against the Dominion. Now, it's everyone else's turn."

"And it's the military's turn, but they're not taking it."

"Garak's Intelligence cells haven't had much success getting past the
Dominion's security blocks."

"I think the military's in for a rude shock when all this is over."

"They've certainly lost credibility with the people."

"Exactly. If they hope to maintain power when the Dominion is
defeated, they are sadly mistaken. The people will see to that. It
hurts to have to say this, but any one who chooses the Dominion over
our people is a traitor to Cardassia."

"The truth hurts sometimes," Kira said.

"The problem is that the military needs to know that it has that
choice. I'm not sure if they know they do."

"You gave them a choice when you rebelled," Kira pointed out. "You
said as much in your resistance speech."

Damar shook his head. "Things are changed now, but from what I've
heard today, I have a feeling that they don't know that things are
changed."

"What did you hear?"

"The same things Ranel said. I spent the day contacting all the
officers I know of in the underground who have joined the revolution.
There aren't that many and none are high-ranking. None have influence.
Ranel could have influence, if his voice could be heard."

Kira listened to Damar and tried not to feel demoralized. Through the
Dominion, the military still held power in Cardassia, even if it was a
false power. No Cardassian was ever willing to give up any measure of
power. Certainly not for an uncertain future that held no promises
that they would return to their former positions.

The only Cardassian she knew who had done that was Damar. He had given
up the most power a Cardassian could have under the Dominion when left
his office to rebel. Now, he had regained some power back when he
stepped into the role of the true leader of his people as opposed to
the false leadership of the Dominion and its Cardassian puppets.

He assumed that he would still be leader once the dust settled after
the war. Though she hoped that would happen, she didn't put faith in
that. She knew all too well the chaos and factional fighting that
inevitably arose at the end of a war like this one. The people may
love him now, but would they want this former military dictator to
lead their new civilian government? If there would be a civilian
government at all. In the chaotic aftermath of the war, the
Cardassians, so used to a tight-fisted government, could easily choose
to go back to the oppressive yet stable and familiar military state.

Kira didn't express these concerns to Damar. He had a difficult enough
time holding onto his own morale as it was. Instead, she held his hand
and listened to him, then pulled him close in an embrace and kiss,
wanting to comfort him and help him forget his troubles.

The kiss led to lovemaking behind the partition, where she and Damar
put all their focus on pleasuring each other through the night. No
other thoughts distracted Kira as Damar fulfilled her again and again.
Sated and exhausted, they fell asleep, their bodies pressed together,
their arms locked in an embrace.

---

Kira tried to concentrate on watching her core group practice making
heferin smoke bombs, but her mind kept wandering back to Damar. Her
feelings about him kept trying to sort themselves out, distracting her
from her work.

He had gotten under her skin and she didn't know why or if she even
wanted him there in the first place. She didn't want any feelings
about him except respecting him, admiring him and simply liking him.
She didn't need the added confusion of the nebulous emotions he
stirred up that she couldn't pin down.

Every day the feeling of wanting to always be with him grew stronger.
She tried to remind herself that he was annoying to be with when he
had become so moody and irritable and that he was drinking too much.
It didn't help. Instead, the part of her who wanted him in her heart
dwelled on his good characteristics and wanted to ignore the negative.
Besides, he was only moody, irritable and drinking too much because he
was imprisoned in that cellar. It was just a temporary situation.

The other part of herself that tried to resist him argued that he used
to be foul-tempered, hard drinking thug, and it wouldn't take much for
him to be like that again. So he was good in bed. So what? So was Odo.
Odo was even better.

Thinking about Odo didn't help, either. She didn't feel so guilty any
more. Instead, her feelings about Odo brought forward a fear that she
constantly tried to suppress. The fear that one day, Odo would listen
to his heart and do what he always longed to do. To go to the Gamma
Quadrant and join the Link. Once the Dominion was defeated, that
possibility would become an even greater temptation for Odo. One he
may not be able to resist, and perhaps he shouldn't. They were his
people, after all, and they could give him so much more than she
could.

Focus on the present, she lectured herself. Don't worry about
tomorrow. Kira tried to follow her own advice as she moved around the
room, watching her students make the bombs at the tables. She
corrected some of their errors and lectured them on what to do when
things went wrong. Fortunately, nothing went wrong that day. No one
singed his eye ridges or set off a bomb in the enclosed room.

The Cardassians of her group thanked her sincerely when the day had
ended. She found herself smiling at them, pleased to see their respect
and that they had done so well, pleased that the lessons were over and
that she could get back to Damar.

Stepping out into the night, she followed Trelek through a new route
back to Mila's house. Every day, Trelek found a different route to
take, and Kira appreciated her thoroughness and keen eye that kept
them away from Jem'Hadar patrols. To Kira's eyes, there seemed to be
even more Jem'Hadar on the streets than there used to be. The random
strikes of the people had scared the Dominion, putting them on greater
alert. Kira found that very satisfying.

However, having confirmation about the military being segregated from
the rest of the population wasn't satisfying at all. When Kira first
came to Cardassia, seeing people in uniform on the streets were as
common as seeing people in civilian dress. Now, she didn't see one
Cardassian soldier anywhere she went.

The military had always been an important part of Cardassian society.
With almost every male forcibly conscripted at a young age, there
wasn't a family in Cardassia who didn't have at least one member
actively serving. Considering that family was the most important thing
to Cardassians, the people in the military had to be unhappy about
being separated from their families. Unhappy enough to revolt? She
hoped so and hoped it happened soon.

Trelek left her at the front door of Mila's house. Kira slipped in and
went to the kitchen. At her table, Mila sat sipping tea. Seeing Kira,
she frowned.

"Our Legate is in a foul mood tonight," she warned. "I tried to cut
off his kanar supply, and he nearly took my head off over it. I don't
care for men who let their drinking get out of hand. He went through
two bottles already then came up here a little while ago looking for
more. I think he would have killed me if I didn't give it to him. I
don't like being in this house alone when he's like that. He's a
dangerous man, if you ask me."

"He can be," Kira said, her spirits sinking at Mila's words. "Don't
worry. I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again."

"We'll see," Mila said skeptically. "Would you like something to eat?
I've got some fresh sem'hal stew on the stove."

"That sounds good," Kira replied, moving to the cabinet to retrieve a
bowl. Mila went to the stove and ladled out a generous portion of the
stew into the bowl. Now not wanting to be around Damar if his mood was
a bad as Mila said, Kira delayed the inevitable by sitting down at the
table with her bowl, while Mila went back to her tea.

"I have a piece of advice for you," Mila said as she lowered her cup
from her mouth. "Now, I know all about you and him, and it's none of
my business. But you seem like a decent woman, so I have to say what
my mother used to say to me. Never get involved with a man who drinks.
Never."

"That's good advice," Kira said, "but I'm not involved with him. We
both know we'll be going our separate ways when this is all over."

"You say that now," Mila replied, "but you don't know what tomorrow
will bring. You don't know what your heart might tell you when all is
said and done."

Kira shook her head. "I already know what my heart tells me," she
said. "I have a life back on Deep Space Nine waiting for me. Nothing's
going to stop me from going back to it. Not even him."

"He may get it in his mind to follow you back to this life of yours
and make himself a part of it."

"No," Kira said as she dipped her spoon in the bowl. "He has
obligations here, and his priority is Cardassia, not me."

"Perhaps so. Well, he isn't so bad when he's not drunk. He sort of
grows on a person after a while. But I remember hearing some awful
rumors about him when he was working for the Dominion. When it comes
to rumors, only about a tenth of them are true, so it seems to me. But
that tenth was bad enough. His behavior was deplorable and everyone
knew it. He had no respect here in Cardassia. None."

"He's earned the respect of your people now," Kira pointed out as she
finished the stew.

"So it seems," Mila nodded. "Perhaps he deserves it. He's courageous,
I'll give him that. And when he starts talking about this new
Cardassia and the defeat of the Dominion, he does inspire a person to
dream, even if it is all foolishness."

Kira pushed back the bowl and stood. "It doesn't seem foolish to me."

"Maybe," Mila said, looking her in the eye. "But it will all be for
naught if he keeps drinking."

Nodding, Kira said, "Thanks for the advice."

Turning away, Kira opened the door leading to the cellar. As she went
down the stairs, she saw Damar sitting slumped on his bunk with a
bottle in his hand. He lifted his head and gave her such an evil glare
that her blood froze. This wasn't the strong, courageous man who
seemed to mirror her soul. This wasn't the man who inspired a jumble
of confusing emotions within her. She realized that she was looking at
the mean-spirited thug she used to hate.

"About time you got here," he growled at her. "I've been waiting for
hours for you. You know that being with you is the only thing I have
to look forward to all day."

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Kira said coolly as she continued down
the stairs. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well, I do," he grumbled then tipped the bottle back and took a long
swallow. Wiping his mouth, he held the bottle out to her. "Have a
drink."

"No, I don't want any," Kira said, standing before him. "And I think
you've had enough."

He glared at her again as he pulled back the bottle. "No, I haven't.
I'm just getting started. So sit down and drink with me."

"I don't want to. I'm going to bed."

"That's it?" he snapped, rising to his unsteady feet. "After keeping
me waiting all this time, you're just going to sleep? At least sit
down and talk to me for a while. I've gone without company all day."

"I can't talk to you when you're like this," Kira said in a hard tone.
"You're too drunk, and I don't like the way you've been drinking
lately."

Damar snorted. "The only reason why I drink is because I don't have
anything better to do. Do you think it's easy to have to sit around
here all alone with nothing to do? Do you? Do you know how much I long
to go out into the streets and join the fighting? I hate being stuck
here! I hate that you and Garak and everyone else can go out and fight
to destroy the Dominion, and I have hide here like a coward and stare
at the walls."

"Esorel, I wish I could do or say something that would make this all
easier on you, but I can't."

"You could sit down and talk to me, that's what you could do. But you
won't. You hardly spend any time with me any more."

"I spent time with you last night," Kira pointed out.

"Only because you felt sorry for me," he grumbled, slumping back down
on the bunk. "That's the only reason you made love to me. You act as
though you're just doing me a favor by having sex with me."

"I have sex with you because I enjoy it," Kira said, hoping that a
compliment would ease his foul mood. "You're one of the best lovers
I've ever had."

"Of course I am. That's why you keep coming back for more. Sex is the
only I'm good for to you. You couldn't care less about me and what I'm
going through."

"Make up your mind, Esorel," Kira said tiredly as she sat down on
Garak bunk opposite him. "Either I care about you enough to feel sorry
for you, or I couldn't care less about you, and I'm only using you for
sex. You can't have it both ways."

"I'd like to think that you care about me," he mumbled then took
another drink.

"I do care."

"Then show it," he growled. "Don't just brush me off as though I'm
meaningless."

"I'm not," Kira snapped then realized that it was foolish to try to
argue with him. Clearly the kanar had warped his thinking. He knew
perfectly well that she didn't think he was meaningless. At least, he
would if he was sober.

"You know, one of these days, you're going to come back," he said,
"and I won't be here. I'll be out there in the streets fighting. I'll
be doing what I should have been doing all along."

"You know you can't do that," Kira said calmly.

"Of course I can!" Damar countered. "I can do what I damned well
please. And don't talk to me about how indispensable I am. No one's
indispensable, including me. I don't mean anything to this revolution
any more. I started it, and now it's taken on a life of its own, and I
don't have any part in it. Well, I want a part in it. I want to fight
and do everything in my power to crush the Dominion."

"You do have a part in it," Kira told him. "An important part."

"Because the people are inspired by me," Damar sneered. "That's no
part at all. They're not inspired by me, just by their delusion of me.
What they're really inspired by is their own courage. Just as it
should be."

"This wouldn't be a revolution if you weren't planning to create a new
Cardassia, Esorel. The people are fighting for your new Cardassia
you're dreaming for them."

That seemed to calm him down. "They're fighting for a dream. I want to
fight for it, too."

Trying to keep him placated, she said, "Let the people fight so you
can keep planning for the future for them."

"I can't do it alone!" he suddenly roared at her, making her jump.
"Don't you understand that? I can't plan an entire new government by
myself! It's not my new Cardassia, anyway. It's the people's and I
need people to help me. Men like Bastin, but you refuse to let me talk
to him."

Exasperated, Kira said, "I'm only looking out for your security."

"You just want to keep me useless," he grumbled, then took a long
swallow of kanar. "Useless and meaningless. That's all I am."

Tired of this, she said, "Look, if you want to talk about this
tomorrow when you're sober, we can. But right now, I think it's best
that you put down that bottle and sleep it off. All right? I'm going
to bed."

"No, it's not all right," he snapped. "All I'm asking is for you to
spend a little time with me. That's all. And you can't even give me
that. I spend all day thinking about you and wishing you were with me.
Now that you're here, you just want to ignore me. And you wonder why I
drink. I drink because of you. You know I don't like being alone. You
know I hate being in this cellar. All I want is for you to give me a
little distraction from my problems, but you refuse to give me an
ounce of that. So I might well get drunk. I wouldn't have to if you'd
just spend more time with me."

"I'm happy to spend time with you," Kira told him as she stood, "but
not when you're drunk. I'll see you in the morning."

"No!" he roared at her as she turned away from him. Getting to his
feet, he grabbed her arm and roughly pulled her against him. He kissed
her hard and brutally while his hand groped her breast. Enraged, she
twisted her face from his then pushed him back with all of her
strength. He fell against the bunk.

"Don't ever do that again," Kira snarled at him.

"What?" he snapped, scrambling to his unsteady feet. "I'm not even
allowed to kiss you anymore?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she replied, ready to fight him
back.

"I wasn't going to force you."

"I doubt that."

"I only kissed you," he said, daring to take a step closer. "That's
all. I want to kiss you again and make love to you. I know you want
that, too."

"I don't want to have anything to do with you when you're drunk," Kira
countered. "I don't like you like this, and I'm never going to. Just
sleep it off, Esorel, and maybe by morning I'll forget what just
happened here."

"Nothing just happened here, you stupid woman!" he bellowed at her,
but she ignored him and stormed towards the partition. "You don't want
anything to do with me, do you! Well, I don't want to have anything to
do with you! If you think you'll have me in your bed again, you're
sorely mistaken, you Bajoran whore!"

Her blood boiling with anger, she forced herself not to respond to his
insults. With shaking hands, she undressed herself while he hurled
terrible words at her from the other side of the partition. The way he
worked himself up, she expected him to come around it and go for her
throat. Finally, he quieted and she braced herself, ready to fight him
off again, sure he was going to step around the partition at any
moment. But all she heard was him muttering to himself.

Curling up in the bunk, she nearly started to cry. How could he say
such awful things to her? After all they've been through, how could he
hate her so much? The kanar, she told herself. It's the kanar talking,
not him. She knew he didn't hate her, and she knew he would never have
said such cruel insults if he weren't so drunk and so on edge from
being trapped in the cellar all the time.

She had always known he was a heavy drinker, and now she wondered just
how much of the brutal thug she once hated had come from the bottle.
Resentment curdled within her. One of the only Cardassians she felt
absolutely safe around and now that was gone in a flow of kanar. She
blinked back tears shocked by how much it hurt that she could no
longer feel safe around him. She had been a fool to have put that kind
of trust in Damar.

In vino veritas, the humans said. Kira didn't want to believe that his
cruel, drunken words reflected how he truly felt about Bajorans and
herself, feelings he still had hidden away within him. No, Kira
thought nearly desperately. Damar had proven to her that was no longer
true of him. He had grown beyond his old racist attitudes and had
become an enlightened, open-minded man. It seemed that only when he
drank did he become the thug he used to be.

He said he drank because of her. That was just an excuse, but could it
be a little true? He drank because he was lonely and bored and
frustrated, and she didn't relieve him of that. She wanted to, but it
was true that she escaped the cellar as often as she could. She didn't
like being stuck there any more than he did. Besides, she had work to
accomplish for the revolution. He didn't, so no wonder he envied her.
She had thought they had a very enjoyable night together last night,
but he seemed to think that she had slept with him out of pity. That
she was just doing him a favor by having sex with him.

Kira shook her head, trying to drive that thought out. She knew better
than to believe the words of a drunken man. This wasn't the first time
someone she knew had turned to drink to ease his suffering, only to
have drinking turn into a problem to add to all the rest his woes.
Never get involved with a man who drinks. How true those words were.

She didn't think of herself as involved with Damar. All she wanted and
expected was to enjoy his companionship, in bed and out of it, for the
time being. With the exception of that night, she liked being around
him, and she could trust him because she knew he sincerely cared about
her and respected her. Alcohol had taken that away, but he would be
himself again once he was sober. She hoped so.

Her confused feelings about Damar stirred up again, she closed her
eyes and tried to settle herself down as she whispered prayers to the
Prophets. Beyond the partition, Damar was quiet, and she hoped that he
had fallen asleep.

Then she heard the door over the stairs open, and Damar saying in a
slurring growl, "Where have you been?"

"Working, as usual," she heard Garak reply, his light voice having an
edge to it.

"How's it going?" Damar asked.

"Not well. The Dominion has put up so many blocks against illegal
transmissions into the military bases that they're nearly impossible
to break through."

"Sounds like you could use a drink. Have a seat."

"Ah, no, thank you. I'm just going to go to sleep. It's rather late."

"First Kira and now you," Damar grumbled. "Why can't any of you just
sit down and talk to me for a while?"

Kira twisted around to lie on her stomach and peer around the
partition. Damar sat slumped on the bunk, his head down, and the
bottle in his hands was empty. Amazing that he hadn't passed out yet
from all that kanar.

"Perhaps," Garak replied as he sat down to take off his shoes, "it's
because you've had too much to drink."

"I haven't had too much," Damar slurred. "You haven't seen too much. I
can drink as much as I want."

"Yes, your high tolerance doesn't surprise me."

"What does that suppose to mean?" Damar glared at him as he stood then
stumbled on his feet. "You think I have a problem? Well, I don't and I
proved that. I went without kanar for three months, Garak. Three
months. So I proved that I don't have a problem. I can handle it. I
can handle plenty. Now sit down and drink with me."

"Sorry, but I'd rather go to sleep. You should do the same."

"I'm not tired," Damar grumbled then tipped back the bottle and
guzzled the last of the kanar. Taking the bottle from his mouth, he
reeled on his feet.

"You're about to fall over," Garak pointed out.

"I am not. I'm as steady as a rock."

"Well, you might not be tired, but I am. I need to get some sleep. I
have a busy day tomorrow."

"I'll bet you do," Damar sneered at him. "You'll be busy with your . .
. with your so-called propa . . . propaganda. I read that nonsense
about me you've been spreading around and it's all just . . . a bunch
of lies."

"Yes," Garak said coolly. "Seeing this side of you now, I would have
to agree."

"What do you mean by that?" Damar snarled, then, in a sudden fury, he
hurdled himself at Garak, tackling him down on the bunk. Rearing his
fist back, Damar slammed it down, but Garak easily dodged it. Kira
scrambled to her feet as Garak pounded his fist into Damar's gut.
Doubling over, Damar fell back on the ground. Enraged and groaning,
Damar tried to stand again, but Kira leapt onto his bunk behind him
and grabbed him, pinning his arms back.

"Let go of me," Damar growled, kicking his heels on the ground as he
tried to get his feet under him.

"Not until you settle down," Kira growled back into his ear.

Ignoring her, he fought to free his arms. "Take your filthy Bajoran
hands off of me!"

"If you don't settle down," Kira threatened, "I'm going to break every
bone in your body."

"I'd like . . . I'd like to see you try."

"No, you don't, Esorel. If you weren't so drunk, you wouldn't even
think it."

"Why?" he snarled, though his fighting against her grew weaker. "You .
. . you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not."

"No, I know you're not afraid of me, but right now you should be."

Damar suddenly slumped, his head falling forward, his hair falling in
his face. "I'm . . . not afraid of . . . of you. I can . . . take you
on . . . any time."

"Just keep believing that, Esorel," Kira said, still holding his arms,
not trusting that the fight had gone out of him. "Maybe one day, it'll
be true."

He didn't respond or move. Kira looked up at Garak.

"I think he's passed out," Garak said, crouching down in front of
Damar.

"It's about time," Kira said, not letting Damar go in case he was
faking.

Garak reached out and patted Damar's cheek. Damar's head's flopped up
for a moment, then down again as he grumbled something incoherent.

"Not quite but nearly there," Garak said as he stood. "Let's get him
to bed."

Kira and Garak lifted Damar up as he kept muttering incoherently. He
seemed to be trying to help them get him up, but he couldn't get his
feet under him. They sat him on the bunk, and Kira kept him propped up
while Garak undressed him. He was out by the time they draped his
blankets over him.

Kira sat at his side and brushed his hair out of his face. "I'm sorry,
Garak," she said sadly. "I guess you were right about him."

"I hoped I wasn't," Garak said, soundly equally sad. "I'd hate to make
such a judgement against a man after witnessing just one drunken
night. But his record is hard to ignore."

"What are we going to do about this?"

"We can remove all the kanar from this house and make sure Mila
doesn't bring in any more. Other than that, there's not much we can
do. If he does have a problem, he'll find a way to drink. The way
things are now, he could walk into any bar in Cardassia, and everyone
there would buy him all the drinks he needs."

"If he makes past all the Jem'Hadar."

Garak shook his head. "We know that one of his talents is
resourcefulness. He'd find a way if he became desperate. It's his
problem to solve, not ours."

"It's ours as long as we're living with him. How do we help him?"

Garak looked her in the eye, his expression stern. "By not letting him
get away with his behavior. By not excusing him or enabling him in any
way. We won't contribute to his problem."

With a sigh, Kira stood. "Good night, Garak."

"Sleep well, Commander," Garak said gently.

His problem, she thought as she went back to her bunk. Garak didn't
want to say the obvious word for it. Neither did she. She didn't want
to say alcoholic.

------------**

Damar awoke in agony, with a searing pain in his head and a fiery,
nauseous stomach. With a deep groan, he sat up and held his head in
his hands for a moment. Then through squinted, burning eyes, he peered
around the cellar and saw Garak and Kira seated in front of the
computer, both of them watching him with unreadable expressions.

"There's a cup of eschelan for you on the stool," Kira said, her voice
piercing his aching head as she gestured to the stool near his bunk.
Then she and Garak turned away from him.

With effort, Damar slumped towards the cup. Though barely warm, he
drank the fish juice then concentrated on not throwing it up. His
stomach rebelled, and he grabbed the blanket, tossed it around his
waist then rushed up the stairs. Hurrying to the nearest waste
receptacle, he almost didn't make it.

Panting from the effort, he forced himself to look at the mess he had
made in the receptacle and searched for signs of blood. To his relief,
he didn't see any, but he knew he would one morning if he kept going
the way he was. His stomach felt on fire.

Ignoring his stomach, he stepped into the sonic shower and stood
slumped against one wall as the sonics cleansed him. Then it all came
back to him. Everything. He didn't even have the luxury of a blackout
to let him escape the pain of what he had done. He had said terrible
things to Kira, things he hadn't meant and never would have even
thought to say if he hadn't been so drunk. He had attacked Garak.
Garak, of all people, who had done so much for him. He had behaved
like a monster.

Groaning, Damar rubbed his brow, feeling all the nerves in his body
twitch. It was a familiar feeling, followed by the familiar craving to
drink again to settle his nerves and his stomach and to forget the
awful things he had done.

Kanar didn't just pull him down a little. It had completely dropped
him into that deep, black pit he thought he had successfully crawled
out of. He never would have fallen back into the pit if he hadn't
drank again as he had resolved. Three months of sobriety were now gone
as if they never happened, and he was back to needing to drink first
thing in the morning again just to feel normal. Back to being sick and
remorseful and disgusted with himself. Back to drinking out of control
and losing the only friends he had in the world because he was such a
drunken, obnoxious ass.

If only he hadn't drank. If only he hadn't purposely sought out kanar
that first day in Mila's house after three months of not touching a
drop. As usual, he had drank too much and lost control over himself.
He had excused himself for that, knowing that his rage and pain over
the loss of all his men had weakened his resolve. But he couldn't
excuse the fact that he kept on drinking after that.

At first, it wasn't so bad. Having a few drinks at night hadn't done
any harm. He had taken that as a sign that he could now control
himself and drink just like anyone else. Then he fell right back into
his old pattern faster than he could ever have imagined. He had begun
to try to hide what he was doing from the others, drinking a bottle of
kanar before Kira or Garak returned in the evening, then sitting down
to have a few drinks with them as though that was all that he had to
drink that day. Only, he couldn't just stay with a few drinks. That
was never enough for him, and he always finished the bottle whether
the others drank with him or not.

But he couldn't hide it from Mila. Every time he went looking for
another bottle, she watched him with stern reproach. Yesterday, he
started in earlier, drinking two bottles in the afternoon. Mila tried
to stop him when he came for a third. He should have listened to her
warning when she said that he had more than enough. She didn't
understand. For Damar, there was never enough when it came to kanar.
Once he started drinking, it was nearly impossible stop.

He thought he had grown beyond that, but last night proved to him that
he hadn't and he never would. The only answer was to never drink
again. No matter how much he craved it. No matter how much his body
demanded it. No matter how much his soul cried out for it. He could
never drink again. How he hated the thought.

Feeling terribly dehydrated, he stepped out of the shower then went to
the sink and got a glass of water. He gulped it down and a second one
right after that. The water barely helped. Padding out of the
cleansing room, he went through the kitchen and nodded a bleak
greeting to Mila and tried to ignore her reproachful eyes.

Down in the cellar, he dressed in a clean suit while Garak and Kira
worked together at the computer, occasionally glancing at him. With
his nerves flaring, Damar knew what he had to do to set things right.
He stepped up to them.

"I need to apologize for my behavior last night," he said sincerely.
They both looked at him with cautious expressions. "I swear to you
that it will never happen again."

"I wish that I could trust that," Garak said coolly then rose and
stepped away from the computer.

Annoyed that Garak had just dismissed him like that, Damar said, "I'm
a man of my word, Garak. I've never given you reason to doubt that."

Garak shook his head as Kira went and retrieved her tellek robe. "In
any other area," Garak told him, "I would have no doubts. But not in
this one. I know better."

With that, Garak started to ascend the stairs. Damar glared up at him.
"What do you mean by that?" he demanded. Garak ignored him and
disappeared out the door.

Seeing Kira moving towards the stairs, he turned to her. "What did he
mean, he knows better?"

"We can talk about it later," she said. "I have to go."

He grabbed her arm from behind. With a jerk, she pulled her arm free
as she glared at him.

"Nerys, I'm sorry," he said pleadingly.

"I accept your apology, Esorel," she replied, continuing up the
stairs.

Looking up at her, he said, "I promise it will never happen again.
Never. I promise."

"We'll talk about it later," she repeated.

Damar stood watching her leave, heart-broken that the two people he
cared the most about had just walked out on him while he was trying to
make amends. He couldn't blame them.

Feeling useless and miserable, he looked around the dismal cellar and
knew he would go insane if he stayed there. Ascending the stairs, he
went into the kitchen. He saw no sign of Mila, but he found her deeper
in the mansion, cleaning one of the rooms.

"Do you have something I can help you with, Mila?" he asked. "Please."

---

Mila found Damar some busy work to do, reorganizing the books in the
library he had thrashed, and rearranging the furniture of a sitting
room, which helped him sweat out his hangover. She offered him lunch,
but he had no appetite for anything but kanar. All day, he struggled
to ignore the incessant craving, though the more he ignored it, the
worse it got.

When Mila ran out of things for him to do, he went back downstairs and
activated the comm unit, searching for any clues that the military as
a whole were pulling away from the Dominion. He found nothing.

As the day turned into night, he wiped his clammy, shaky hands on his
pants, nervous about having to face Kira and Garak again. He didn't
know what he could say to them beyond what he had already said. He had
hoped that Kira would never learn the darkest secret about himself,
but that was too late. After all, he had already revealed that secret
with his behavior. And he was fooling himself. Everyone on Cardassia
knew what a drunkard he was. He wasn't hiding a thing.

Finally, Kira returned and he rose to greet her at the landing of the
stairs. He longed to kiss her again but didn't dare try. It helped
that she smiled at him as she walked past him, but as she was hanging
up her robe, she took a long look around the room.

Damar decided to take that as his cue to get to the point. "There's no
kanar down here if that's what you're looking for."

Kira nodded. "That's what I was looking for."

"Nerys, I really am sorry about last night," he said, stepping towards
her.

"I know," she said with unexpected understanding.

"I mean what I said. It'll never happen again."

"By 'never happen again', what do you mean?"

"I mean that I will never drink again," he pledged, holding fast to
his resolution.

"That's a big thing to promise," she commented as she sat down on his
bunk.

"It is," he agreed and moved to Garak's bunk. "I made that promise to
myself three months ago. I didn't keep it, but I will now."

"Is it that hard of a promise to keep?" she asked, her eyes locking
onto his.

For a moment he couldn't speak. He couldn't look her in the eye and
confess what he had to confess. His eyes dropped to the floor as he
clasped his trembling hands together.

"It's the hardest promise I've ever had to make. I have a problem,
Nerys. A serious one."

Gathering his courage, he forced himself to look her in the eye. "I'm
an alcoholic."

"I thought as much," she said with a nod. "It started during the
occupation of DS9, didn't it? I used to think I could set my
chronometer by your drinking habit. Every day at the exact same time,
you'd walk into Quark's."

"And didn't leave until it closed," he confessed, feeling relieved
that she wasn't treating him like a monster over it. "You're right. I
started drinking every night back then, and I didn't stop until I
rebelled. Over time, it just grew worse and worse. It stopped being a
habit. It became an addiction. But I didn't realize that I was
addicted until I was well into it. Even then, I kept trying to deny
that it was a problem. So I was addicted, I'd tell myself. So what?
It's not as though it was causing any problems. I actually believed
that, while my marriage was disintegrating, and my son acted afraid of
me all the time, and I lost almost every friend I had. I never blamed
kanar for that. No, it was my wife's fault that our marriage was
dying. It was my son's fault. My friends' fault. Never mine and
certainly never kanar's."

"Alcohol does have a way of twisting up a person's perspective," Kira
commented.

Appreciating her understanding, he went on. "Especially when you're
drinking nearly around the clock like I was. Drinking warped
everything, and sometimes I don't think fog from it has completely
cleared from my head yet. Back then, to my way of thinking, alcohol
was helping me get through a difficult time, and it made me feel
better when I was sick. I didn't realize at the time that it was kanar
that was making sick in the first place, and I was sick all the time.

"You told me about how the Bajorans endured the oppression of the
Occupation. I can relate to that more than you realize. It's amazing
how someone can grow used to pain as if it's a normal thing not to be
questioned. Almost every morning I woke up vomiting. Just like this
morning. I never once thought that was abnormal, when of course it is.
I developed chronic gastritis from drinking so much and throwing up so
often. Here I was with a serious medical condition and in constant
pain, yet I was completely oblivious to the obvious cause, and I
easily ignored all the signals my body was giving me that something
was seriously wrong me. I saw blood in my vomit and thought that it
wasn't so bad since it was just a little blood. Not enough to be
concerned about."

"That's pretty sick," Kira said with a nod.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure you don't want to hear this."

"Actually, I do. Go on."

"I thought all along that kanar was helping me when in fact, it was
harming every aspect of my life. Kanar made me blind to see it. My
stomach was always upset because of the gastritis, but when I drank,
it settled down. That's how insidious it is. Alcohol is the best thing
to temporarily relieve pain from gastritis in spite of the fact that
it caused mine in the first place. I blamed everything on stress. I
woke up in the morning with my nerves so agitated that my hands shook.
I blamed that on stress then I'd drink to calm myself down.

"I didn't know then that the agitation was a sign of withdrawal. For a
long time, I didn't know I was drinking because I was addicted. I only
knew that I couldn't function and feel good without alcohol. It got to
the point where I had to drink every few hours just to function
normally. Even while on duty. When I look back on it all, I'm
appalled. I can hardly believe I lived that way and thought it was
normal."

"Which means that you never want to go back to that again," Kira said.

"Never," Damar agreed fervently. "Never again. This morning, I
realized that I had fallen right back into it. I didn't mean for it to
happen. Everything started happening just like it did before. I was
drinking more and more every day. I lost complete control over myself
and couldn't stop drinking last night even when I knew I should have.
I behaved monstrously to you and Garak. I'm craving kanar so badly
that I can't begin to tell you much I want a drink right now. I'm
right back in it, and I don't want to be."

"You don't have to be," Kira told him. "You've already proven to
yourself that you can quit. You just need to do it again."

"You're right."

"What was the thing that made you quit?"

"The Dominion," he said with a smile. "The same excuse I used to keep
drinking. I told myself that I drank because of them and I ended up
quitting because of them. Things kept getting worse, and I felt as
though my life was being crushed out of me. It all built up until one
day, I realized what I was doing to myself. I realized what the
Dominion was doing to Cardassia. Within a heart-beat, I had a massive
shift in my perspective, and I knew that the Dominion was my enemy all
along. I had always known that, but it was like you said. It took me
two years to accept it. Once I did, I knew exactly what I had to do.
And that included quitting drinking because I couldn't do what needed
to be done if I didn't."

"Was it hard to quit?"

"Yes and no. What was hard was what it took to get me to the point
where I had to quit. Drinking took such a toll on my health that it
turned out it was easier on me physically to quit than it was to keep
on drinking. Once the withdrawals were over, I felt better and better
each day and I didn't have a physical need to drink any more. For the
first time in years, I felt alive and energized. Organizing the
rebellion and keeping Weyoun in the dark about my activities kept my
mind occupied, so the cravings weren't too distracting. I kept the
rebellion dry. The men didn't like that, but there wasn't any kanar
around to tempt me, and the cravings lessened over time."

Kira said with a mischievous smile, "I'll bet you really wanted a
drink when you found out that I was going to join your rebellion."

He laughed. "I did. And not just a drink. Kira Nerys warranted a whole
bottle. But I've managed to survive you without it so far."

She laughed as well, and he began to feel at ease with her again.

"Going without kanar," he told her, "for the past three months wasn't
so hard, though some days were harder than others."

Kira lifted up from the bunk to sit down beside him. Taking one of his
hands in hers, she looked him in the eye. "Thank you for being honest
about this. I know it was hard for you to tell me these things. It's
not anything I haven't heard before. The Occupation made a lot
alcoholics in Bajor. People just like you living through painful times
and looking for relief from that in a bottle then becoming addicted to
alcohol without meaning for it to happen. It's a wide-spread problem
we're still trying to resolve."

"It's a wide-spread problem in Cardassia as well."

"So, you know that you're not the only one this has happened to.
You're not abnormal, and you didn't set out to become an alcoholic on
purpose. No one does. It just happened and now you have to deal with
it. I understand, Esorel. So does Garak. And the only thing we ask
from you is just what you said you're going to do. Not to drink
again."

"I'll do it," Damar pledged. "I promise."

"Don't promise me. Promise yourself."

"I did once. I never thought that I would have a problem in keeping
it. Kanar proved to me wrong. It proved to me that I can never trust
it. I wish I could. I like kanar. I like how it feels when I drink. I
just don't like what it does to me and the things I do when I'm drunk.
It's hard to imagine going through the rest of my life never drinking
again, though."

Kira squeezed his hand. "Part of your problem is that you live for the
future. You worry about tomorrow and the next day and the day after
that one. Just worry about today. Wake up in the morning and promise
yourself that today you won't drink. Then do it again the next day.
But don't worry about the next day until it comes."

He straightened at that. "You might be right. The day before
yesterday, I resolved not to drink that day and I didn't have a drop
all day. We ended up having a very nice evening together."

Smiling warmly, she said, "Yes, we did."

"Maybe we'll have a very nice evening tonight."

"It's been good so far."

Leaning towards her, he kissed her as she wrapped her arms around him.

She pulled back and said, "I definitely like kissing you better
without the taste of kanar on your breath."

Their mouths met in another kiss, then he pulled back to stroke her
cheek. "Thank you for being so understanding. You can't know how much
it means it me."

"You're welcome. I just expect the same in return."

"Why? Do you have some dark secret to share with me?"

"None that I can think of at the moment. But you never know what might
come up."

"I'll be as understanding as possible when that happens."

"Thanks," she said, smiling again, and he loved how her eyes gleamed
when she smiled.

His arms around her, he kissed her long and deep while encouraging her
to down onto the bunk. Noticing what he was doing, Kira pulled back.

"Not here," she said.

"Why not?"

"It's Garak's bunk."

"Oh," he said then grinned. "You think he'd mind?"

She laughed. "Yes, I think he'd mind."

"All right. Let's move over to my bunk."

"We should go behind that partition in case Garak shows up."

"He won't be back for hours. Besides, I don't like your bunk. You
always end up banging your feet against that partition while we're at
it."

"It's my bunk or no bunk, Esorel."

"You mean on the floor? We haven't tried that yet, though it's a
little cold."

She rolled her eyes then pushed him off of her. "Come on, you," she
said, grabbing his hand to pull him up on his feet. Keeping a hold of
her hand, he pressed against her, kissing down her face and throat and
licking under her chin. Kira murmured in pleasure.

The door above the stairs suddenly opened, and Kira and Damar sprang
apart as Garak came down the stairs.

"You're early," Kira commented, unconsciously straightening her
uniform.

"Yes, I hope I didn't inconvenience anyone," Garak said a bit coldly
as he stepped onto the cellar floor. He was smiling as usual, but
smile looked strained and his eyes were tight with tension.

"Are you all right, Garak?" Damar asked, giving him a study.

"I'm fine," he replied a bit testily. "The two of you, please continue
with what you were doing. Just do it quietly. I want to get some
sleep."

Neither Kira or Damar moved, though they frowned at each other,
puzzled by Garak's attitude. Garak shook his head at them.

"Or do you actually think that I'm not perfectly aware of the fact
that you two having been making love every chance you get?"

"Not every chance," Kira said, taking a step towards him. "Garak, are
you sure you're all right?"

"Perfectly," he said. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

"Of course," Damar said. "But before you do, Garak, I'd like to talk
to you."

"Damar, I have no desire to discuss what happened last night," Garak
said. "You apologized and I accept your apology. You promised that it
would never happen again, and there isn't much I can do but hope
you'll take the necessary steps in order to keep your word."

"I have."

"Such as?"

"I won't drink today."

"That's it? You won't drink today? What about tomorrow and all the
days after that?"

"I'll deal with tomorrow when it comes."

"I see," Garak tiredly rubbed his brow. "I assume that you know
there's no cure for your problem except for complete and permanent
abstinence?"

Damar felt uneasy. It was one thing to confess to Kira, but quite
another for Garak to guess so accurately the nature of his problem.

"I know that, Garak," Damar told him.

"Good."

Taking a step towards him, Damar asked, "What's going on with you,
Garak?"

"What makes you think anything is going on?"

"You're tense and agitated."

"I can't get anything passed you, can I?" Garak sneered, then let out
an annoyed sigh and sank down on his bunk. "Very well. I didn't want
to have to tell you this, but we've taken our first casualties.
Seventeen of my best people were captured by the Dominion this
afternoon. Captured and killed."

"I'm sorry, Garak," Damar said sincerely, though his stomach started
to burn again. The first casualties of the fight for a dream. Damar
knew that they wouldn't be the last.

Garak nodded. "I can only hope they didn't name any one during their
interrogation, though the damaged is contained since they don't know
many names to give."

"Do you know what happened?" Kira asked, sitting down opposite him on
Damar's bunk. "Was there a security leak?"

"The Dominion traced one of the signals back to the source while the
cell was trying to break their transmission blocks. That signal should
have been blind, so obviously we have a flaw in the comm units'
programming."

"Do you mean all of the secured comm units?" Damar asked. "Even ours?"

"Possibly," Garak said. "Have you used it today?"

"Yes. I used it to check on some of my contacts."

"Your contacts? What are you talking about?"

"Contacts concerning the military. Gul Ranel, for one. A few others
trying to use their influence to sway some high-ranking officers to
our side. They haven't had any luck, though. Every military facility
has been clamped down with no information going in or coming out."

"Yes," Garak said thoughtfully as he stood. "The situation is not
good, to say the least. I was going to check out that unit in the
morning, but I better get to work on it now."

Garak moved over to the comm unit, and Kira and Damar dragged up
stools to watch him.

Glaring at them, Garak said, "I'm sure you two have better things to
do besides looking over my shoulder."

"Not really," Damar said.

"Then find something better to do," Garak said testily.

"All right," Kira said as she stood. "I'm going to bed."

"Me, too," Damar said. They left Garak's side then kissed each other
good night. As Kira disappeared around the partition, Damar started to
get undressed.

"Sorry to have ruined your evening," Garak commented as he worked.

"That's all right," Damar said, pulling off his shoes. "It's not that
important. Not as important as what you're doing now."

Putting his clothes away, Damar slipped under the blankets of his
bunk. He lay for a while watching Garak tinker with the unit and tried
to ignore the cravings for kanar until he fell asleep.

---

Damar began the following day as he had nearly every morning since he
made the cellar his home. He crawled out of the bunk next to Garak's,
then wrapped his blanket around his naked body, and stumbled up the
stairs to the shower in Tain's cleansing room. Garak had found him
some sleeping clothes, but Damar was too used to sleeping in the flesh
and didn't use them.

Mila was awake, naturally - she always arose before the rest of them -
and handed him a cup of eschelan as he stepped into the kitchen after
his shower. The woman gave him an appraising and disapproving look
that he countered with his most charming smile. What else can a naked
man in a blanket do but give a woman a charming smile? Mila rolled her
eyes at him, but then chuckled and smiled and shook her head.

He came down the stairs, holding the blanket around him and sipping
the fish juice. Garak was up and he passed Damar on the stairs for his
turn at the shower. Hearing Kira stir to life, Damar picked out a set
of clothes hanging on a rod and got dressed.

Kira slipped out from behind her partition, combing her fingers
through her hair. She wore a robe Mila provided for her and had her
uniform draped over her arm.

"Good morning," she said in a hoarse voice as she walked towards Damar
to receive a morning kiss. She did that almost automatically as though
kissing him had become part of her morning routine. He didn't mind in
the least.

Mila brought him a plate of eggs and guisa, and Damar thanked her and
gave her his charming smile again. She rolled her eyes again and shook
her head as she climbed the stairs. He ate a few of the squids but his
appetite was off and he still felt a little shaky from want of kanar.

Setting aside his uneaten breakfast, he sat down in front of the
sub-space monitor and looked for clues for the Federation Alliance's
intent. Surely they knew they needed to press their advantage against
the Dominion and launch an attack against their lines.

An offensive against the Dominion would likely be extremely bloody.
Would the peace-loving Federation have the stomach for it? He could
only hope that they would, though he knew they were as tired of this
war as he was. The end of the war, Damar realized, could be near if
the Federation were able make a powerful enough assault against the
Dominion.

If they did, all the territory the Dominion would retreat from was
Cardassian space, and those territories would fall into the Alliance's
hands. He regretted that he had never formalized his unofficial
alliance with the Federation. And another worry began to become a
great concern.

"What is it?" Garak asked, breaking Damar out of his deep thoughts.
Startled, Damar looked up. "You look troubled."

"Somehow, we have got to get the military on our side in this," Damar
said. "We've been focusing on the civilians and that's good. But if we
don't persuade the military, this revolution could turn into something
akin to a civil war. The military under the Dominion against the
civilians and the Federation Alliance."

"That's an important concern," Garak agreed, as he sat down with his
breakfast. "There are reports everyday of soldiers going AWOL to join
the people in the fighting. Young glinns mostly and that's expected. A
few Guls. But some of the most difficult blocks we've come up against
have been the ones protecting the incoming transmissions to military
bases and facilities and to the fleets. Not as much of our propaganda
is being received by military personnel as I'd like."

Kira came down the stairs carrying a plate of eggs and still in her
robe.

"Not dressing for breakfast, Commander?" Garak asked.

"Mila's having my uniform cleaned," she told them. "About time, too."

"The Dominion knows they have to protect the military," Damar said,
getting them back on track. "Without the Cardassian military, they'll
never win this war. The Dominion may be oppressing us, but they still
need us."

"The Dominion are idiots," Kira said as she joined them around the
monitor.

Damar laughed at the unexpected comment.

"I mean, here they are in the heart of Cardassia," Kira said, "wasting
what should have been a strong, effective ally for them. The
Dominion's weakening their ally just by their oppression and they
don't even see that."

"Sadly, if the Dominion had treated us with just a little more
respect," Damar said, "we all wouldn't be here right now. Cardassia
would have stayed peacefully with the Dominion hoping that everything
would turn out all right at the end."

"You know, it was one thing," Kira said around a mouthful of egg,
"that Dukat made this alliance with the Dominion. But we all were a
little shocked when we learned how deeply the Dominion entrenched
themselves here. We couldn't believe Cardassians would have allowed
such a thing to happen to them."

"There are a lot of reasons for that, Commander," Damar told her.
"It's fairly complicated."

"Of course it is," Kira said with a smile. "Cardassians wouldn't be
Cardassians if they weren't complicated."

"Why, thank you, Commander," Garak bowed his head to her as if this
was a great compliment.

"But how could you have let the Dominion become so entrenched?" Kira
asked, looking at Damar.

She didn't mean it as an accusation, but it stabbed at Damar
regardless. He hadn't felt remorse over his role in the Dominion's
entrenchment for some time, and it surprised him to feel how strongly
those emotions still resided within him.

"I'm sorry, Esorel," Kira said. "That came out of my mouth wrong.
You're not to blame for the Dominion."

"I'm culpable of doing my share," Damar said and shook away the guilt.
He was paying for that culpability by fighting against the Dominion,
after all, and he held on to that. "The Dominion were able to entrench
themselves because at the time of the alliance our government was
weak. We were weakened by that idiotic war with the Klingons and
fighting against the Maquis. The Dominion helped us drive out the
Klingons and crush the Maquis, and they helped us rebuild and become
strong again. And the Dominion was stronger than us, even trapped in
the Alpha Quadrant, with their ability to just grow Jem'Hadar and
Vorta whenever they needed more."

"Not any more," Garak said with satisfaction, "where the Vorta are
concerned."

Damar nodded. "For the time being. The Dominion made many promises to
us, and we all believed that we would rule Alpha Quadrant side by side
with them. But the Dominion didn't want to rule side by side with us.
They want sole power with us subsumed into them along with everyone
else in the Alpha Quadrant. Like fools, we didn't realize that until
it was too late."

"It's never too late to take a stand," Kira said stoutly.

"I had a feeling you were going to say that," Garak commented mildly.

"There's another reason," Damar continued, "Cardassia welcomed the
Dominion in so readily. I know you're not going to want to hear this,
Garak, but it is the truth. The military felt we owed the Dominion for
destroying the Obsidian Order."

"You're right," Garak said, stiffening. "I didn't want to hear that."

"I'm sorry, Garak," Damar said. "But it's a fact. I know that you must
have lost many good friends when that happened. And I know there were
many loyal Cardassians in the Obsidian Order who believed in their
hearts that what they were doing was in the best interest of
Cardassia. Most of them were just people doing their jobs."

"That's right," Garak said heatedly. "The people in the Obsidian Order
loved Cardassia. I did."

"I know you did," Damar assured him. "But the Obsidian Order was like
all the rest of us. They were part of the old, oppressive government,
and they oppressed our people without even realizing it. They
oppressed us believing they were protecting the State from our own
people."

"I think that's a little strong, Legate," Garak said, growing angrier
by the moment.

"It is," Damar agreed. "It's a hard, difficult truth to have to
accept. And it's not the Obsidian Order's fault. We're all to blame.
We came to the point where oppressiveness was a part of our nature. It
became a part of how we defined ourselves. I think the more oppressed
we became, the more oppressive we were to other people."

"You took your misery of your own oppression out on other people,"
Kira said. "If you had to be oppressed, then everyone else should be
as well."

"Yes, I think so," Damar said quietly.

"Oh, please," Garak rolled his eyes. "The Obsidian Order didn't
oppress our people. We were preserving the State, which at the time,
Damar, we all loyally served, including you."

"Yes," Damar agreed. "I did. I loved the Cardassian State. I was a
loyal soldier who never stopped to question orders, or why we did what
we did or even think to consider that the State was oppressive. It was
simply the fact of life and who we were at the time. But you know our
State was oppressive. And you know, as difficult as it is to hear,
that the Obsidian Order was the primary hand in that oppressiveness.
The State and the laws created the oppressive conditions, and the
Obsidian Order carried them out. We've both had a role in that."

"Yes, Damar, I do know that," Garak snapped. "I, too, have had my
renaissance. Not as dramatic and sudden as yours, perhaps, but I have
gone through it. Still, I resent your implication that the Obsidian
Order had anything to do with bringing in the Dominion. The Order was
destroyed, you will recall, by trying to wipe out the Founders."

"By trying to commit genocide," Kira pointed out coolly.

"Yes," Garak stoutly declared. "And the Obsidian Order would have had
the gratitude of the entire Alpha Quadrant if they had succeeded."

"And you don't see anything morally wrong with genocide?" Kira
challenged.

"Not if it would have prevented what's happened to Cardassia, no,"
Garak said. "I myself attempted to destroy the Founders, and I've
regretted my failure ever since."

"Did you?" Damar asked.

"And he only got six months in the brig on Deep Space Nine for it,"
Kira said.

"That's pretty lenient," Damar said with a frown. "Considering that
we're talking about attempted genocide."

"I suppose you thought," Kira said to Garak, "that you should have
received an accommodation for it."

"It's only more evidence," Damar said, "that Cardassians aren't any
different from the Dominion when it comes to ruthlessness and
oppression."

"How can you say such a thing?" Garak spat.

"Because it's the truth," Damar countered. "I don't like it anymore
than you do, but there's no denying it."

"You know, Damar," Garak sneered. "I'm getting just a little tired of
your constant demands that everyone around you accept the truth as how
you see it."

"I demand no such thing," Damar defended.

"We've all had our share of coping with difficult truths during all of
this," Kira said. "Now, it's your turn, Garak."

"Lucky me," Garak shook his head. "I've already had to cope with the
difficult truth of the Obsidian Order. At least, I thought I did. All
of this is just dredging up painful memories. Yes, our State had
become oppressive, but nearly as oppressive as the Dominion. And I
still disagree that the Obsidian Order had anything to do with the
Dominion becoming entrenched in Cardassia. The Order tried to stop
that from happening."

"Indirectly," Damar said, "they were one of the causes for that
entrenchment. Our people always hated the Obsidian Order. When the
Dominion destroyed the Order, suddenly everyone in Cardassia felt like
they could breath again. Suddenly, there wasn't anyone watching
everything that we did. We didn't have to go around worrying what we
said or did was going to end up in some report and used against us."

"You had freedom," Kira nodded.

"Exactly. We could say what we wanted, and we didn't have to fear
intrusion into our private lives. And, well, there was an undercurrent
of gratitude to the Dominion because they freed us from the Obsidian
Order, however perverse that sounds."

"The destruction of the Obsidian Order weakened the State," Garak
pointed out. "And that led to Dukat taking power and he brought in the
Dominion."

"All true," Damar agreed. "Except we tried to correct that weakness
with the civilian government, admittedly a weak system made all the
more weaker by the Klingons."

"Like you said, it's complicated," Kira said.

"I think this somehow all started when the Obsidian Order was wiped
out," Damar said. "Though why the Dominion chose to ally themselves
with a people who attempted genocide against them is something I've
never been able to figure out."

Garak frowned. "I remember what the Founder said to me. 'Cardassia is
dead'. She said that as though she was giving a prophecy."

Damar felt chilled by this. "Did she?" he asked. "What did she mean by
it?"

"I was never sure," Garak said. "Though I wonder now if what the
Dominion is doing to Cardassia had always been planned. All of this
has been their way of slowly destroying Cardassia. Their revenge for
the Obsidian Orders' attempt to destroy them."

Rage and hatred carved into Damar and he scowled.

"The reason why they've been using Cardassian troops as cannon fodder
to protect the Jem'Hadar," Damar growled. "The reason Weyoun allowed
the five hundred thousand men on Septimus Three to be slaughtered by
the Klingons. The reason they forced me to give up Cardassian
territory to the Breen. I knew they were trying to destroy Cardassia,
and now I understand why."

"You'd think," Kira said, "that destroying the Order and the Tal Shiar
would have been enough retribution."

Garak shook his head. "When that kind of hatred settles into a people,
no amount of retribution is ever enough."

"I wonder why they chose to go after the Cardassians," Kira said, "and
not the Romulans. The Tal Shiar was just as guilty."

"The Romulans don't have the same of thirst for conquest we have,"
Damar said, still feeling the rage spiking within him. "The Dominion
knew they could use that against us. Especially with Dukat."

"The head of the Tal Shiar was replaced by a Shapeshifter when Tain's
plans were discovered by the Founders," Garak pointed out, a new thing
Damar didn't know about the plot against the Founders. "Perhaps the
Romulans were tricked into going along with the plot Tain came up with
and therefore received leniency because of it."

Damar grunted. The thought that the Dominion's destruction of
Cardassia was being done out of revenge sickened him, and it gave him
one more reason to despise the late Enabran Tain.

"Perhaps so," Damar said, his voice like stone. "And it's also true
that, militarily, the Cardassians are stronger than the Romulans. The
Dominion needed Cardassia to help them take over the Alpha Quadrant.
And that brings me back to my original concern. The Dominion still
needs the Cardassian military."

Kira sighed. "The military hasn't shown signs of being swayed to our
side. Aside from the younger officers. They're leaving the ranks in
ever increasing numbers."

"And that's weakening the military," Damar nodded. "But as long as
those Guls are still sided with the Dominion, that may not make much
of a difference. Over time, yes, but we maybe running out of time if
the Alliance decides to take advantage of the Dominion's retreat. I
can't have the military side with the Dominion against the Alliance.
Like I told Garak, it would be akin to civil war. The military
fighting with Dominion, and the civilians fighting against them."

"I'll just have to keep working on getting around the Dominion blocks
on military transmissions," Garak said, "and step up the propaganda.
If anything, we'll shame the military into joining us. Glorify the
common people. Get out the word that the people fight what the
military fears. And vilify Broca and anyone associated with him. Play
up the Bajoran angle."

"That might turn them away," Kira said.

"Not if they have any pride, it won't," Damar shook his head. "Garak,
is the comm unit still secure?"

"It's fine," Garak told him. "I didn't find any compromises in the
programming, but just to be sure, I gave it a triple redundancy blind.
Something I picked up from Starfleet."

---

Garak left to join his underground contacts while Kira monitored the
sub-space to keep an eye out for signs of the Alliance ship movements.
Damar, for his contribution, paced and thought. The same thing he
always did.

"What we need is a contact within the military itself," he said,
mainly to himself. "Someone high in the ranks with enough power to
influence others."

"No one like that has volunteered, yet," Kira commented.

"True," Damar agreed, continuing his pacing. "Though Garak and his
underground are keeping an eye out for such a recruit."

"The way the cells are structured," she said, "there just might be a
high-ranking officer part of an individual cell, and we wouldn't even
know it."

"If there is, then he's not doing much to persuade other officers to
join us."

"It might be happening," Kira said with a shrug, "without us knowing
about it because of the autonomy of the cells. Just keep having faith
in your people."

"I'm trying," Damar replied as he paced to one end of the cellar, then
turned around. "Ranel and his retired military friends aren't getting
anywhere. We know we can't depend on them."

Then he stopped in the center of the room as the kernel of an idea
came to him.

"We may be going about this the wrong way," he said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're waiting for high-ranking officers to come to us to
volunteer. Instead, we should be going to them."

"We've been trying that. Ranel's been trying for days."

"He doesn't know how to by-pass the regular channels' security checks.
I do."

"You do," she said flatly. "Why didn't you say so before?"

"I didn't think of it before. Look, the only way he can contact his
friends is by going through the each base's communication facility.
He's stopped before he can get passed that because of the tightened
security. But when I was the leader, I could contact any officer I
wanted to directly without having to go through the regular channels.
Lower ranking officers can't do that."

"Sounds good," Kira said, "except for one problem. Unless you think
that your security code still works."

"I know it doesn't, but that won't matter," Damar dismissed. "What
matters is which officer is the best one to contact."

"Have any ideas about that?"

"Yes," Damar said, growing excited by his idea. "Definitely."

As he moved to the comm unit, Mila came down the stairs with Kira's
uniform.

"There you go," Mila said, handing the uniform to Kira.

Taking it with a smile, Kira said, "Thank you, Mila. It'll be good be
in clean clothes again."

"You're welcome," Mila said.

Kira ducked around the partition to change while Damar accessed a
channel into Garak's underground. Mila cleared away the plates from
their breakfast. Picking up Damar's still full plate, she shook her
head at it.

"I see you didn't eat much," she said with disapproval.

He shrugged. "I wasn't hungry."

"You said that last night, too," Mila pointed out.

"My appetite's off. Don't worry. It'll be back in a day or so."

Mila gave him an appraising study then left the cellar.

"What was that about?" Kira asked as she came around the partition
while pulling on her uniform jacket. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm still feeling a little shaky," Damar confessed as he opened the
comm channel. "I'll be fine."

Kira sat down at the computer and heard a terse voice come over the
unit. "Shadow One."

"Velleris," Damar replied into the comm unit.

"One moment," the voice said, and then, "How can we help you,
Velleris?"

"Is Black Talon there?"

"One moment," the voice said again.

A few moments later, Garak's voice came over the unit. "How can I help
you?"

"I need olleran's tail. Do you have it?"

"Olleran's tail?" Garak sounded mystified, then he said. "Ah, yes. I
think I know the item you're looking for. Just a moment."

Damar waited in silence then data started streaming through the unit.
Slipping in a data rod, he copied the transmission.

"I should warn you," Garak said. "This tail is about three days old.
The olleran may have grown a new one by now."

"Three days old isn't too bad. Thanks."

Taking out the data rod, he moved to Kira's side. "I need to use the
computer."

"It's all yours," she said.

Kira stood and got out of his way as he took her seat. Pulling up
another stool, she sat down beside him as he accessed the files on the
data rod.

"What was that all about?" she asked. "What's olleran's tail?"

"That's classified information," Damar told her. "I'm not sure I
should tell you."

Kira cocked her head at him as though she couldn't tell if he was
joking or not.

"An olleran is a medium sized lizard," he said. "It's known for
stealing eggs out of taspar nests and leaving its own in their place.
When it loses its tail, it grows another."

"Well, I can see why that's classified," she said with a chuckle. "Let
me guess. Olleran is the code for Legate Broca."

"You got it in one," he said. "And the tail is his security codes.
They're changed once a week, so this one might be too old."

"It's worth a try, Velleris," Kira said.

"Don't let that one get around," he warned in a stern voice and with a
mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"You can trust me. Isn't velleris the name of the Cardassian symbol?"

"It's the name of the hunting bird the symbol is based on."

"And I'll just bet that vellerises just love to hunt ollerans."

"You'd win that bet," he told her as he accessed the network on the
computer.

" What are you doing now?"

"Accessing the Dominion's database through the secured link Garak set
up. I need a current duty roster."

"A duty roster? I thought you said everyone you know on Cardassia has
been captured or dead."

"They are," Damar said. "But we need to try to find out who are
Broca's men and who aren't. Broca took Office eleven days ago, and he
brought his men in with him. If we can see who has taken new
positions, then those still left in their old positions may not be
Broca supporters."

"And if you see that someone was demoted," Kira said, "to make room
for Broca's supporters, you might find someone eager to work against
him."

"Exactly my thought," Damar said with a chuckle. "Don't take this the
wrong way, but you're beginning to think like a Cardassian."

"I won't," she said dryly, "but, and don't take this the wrong way,
I'm still thinking like a Bajoran."

He flashed a grin at her. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

He settled down to work, searching the network for the information he
needed. Damar saw the controlling hand of the Dominion because he had
difficulty locating the current roster of officers. He did find the
roster from fifteen days earlier for the bases around Cardassia City.
He memorized the list of names then, with some effort, managed to dig
up the current roster of Guls and Legates.

Many names on the current roster he recognized from the earlier
roster, names that didn't move from their positions from fifteen days
earlier and names of those who had moved up into more powerful
positions. His stomach tightened at seeing them, the names of
collaborators. He knew some of the men, not well, but from his time in
the military and in office as leader. The names seared into his memory
not to be forgotten. The names of his enemies.

He memorized the names then ignored them. Instead, Damar looked for
officers who had been demoted from powerful positions. Three names
rose to the top of the list, and he smiled at the name of Legate
Gudan, the new commander of the Communications Office. He would be
ideal for his position alone. The Communications Office was a vital
part of the war effort and had some prestige.

However, Legate Gudan's name had appeared on the roster from fifteen
days ago as the commander of the Second Fleet. The Fourth, Fifth and
Sixth Orders had once been his to command. An extremely powerful
position. Being reassigned to the Communications Office must have been
a humiliating blow. Such a man may want revenge against the one who
had demoted him.

Damar studied the name. He didn't know Gudan except through contact in
the war effort. Gudan was a common man like Damar and a very capable
commander. A very shrewd commander, Damar thought, to have worked his
way up so high in the ranks considering his social status. There was
no way to tell if the man would be persuaded to Damar's side or if he
would turn betrayer and use this opportunity to attempt to capture
Damar and rise back up into the ranks. Time to trust again.

"Ready for this?" Damar asked Kira as he came to the comm unit.

"Ready for what?" Kira asked with some amusement.

"To meet our new ally?" Damar asked.

Kira chuckled. "You sound pretty confident. Who is he?"

"Legate Gudan," Damar said as she gave up her seat to him at the comm
unit. "Former supreme commander of the Second Fleet, now head of the
Communications Office."

"That's quite a step down," Kira said, pulling up a stool to sit at
his side.

"Not a huge step down," Damar told her. "But enough to be a
humiliation."

"And to Communications, no less. How perfect is that?"

"Very. There were two other candidates but when I saw Gudan had been
reassigned to Communications, I knew there couldn't be a better
choice."

"Do you know him?" Kira asked.

Damar worked with the scrambling device on the comm unit. "Not well.
Just from the war. He was a supreme commander but I commanded him."

"So, do you trust him?" she asked.

"I don't know yet. Once we talk to him, we'll be able to judge for
ourselves. But if I were to lay down a bet, I'd place a wager that we
can trust him. He's a common man who worked very hard to become a
supreme commander, and a high society man, our traitor Broca, took
that away from him. He'll join us out of revenge if for no other
reason."

Damar set the encryption and sent his transmission through to the
base, using Broca's communication security codes to by-pass the
regular channels. Tricky work, but Damar had learned a thing or two by
watching Garak. He searched for the comm unit address for the Legate's
office. A moment later, Legate Gudan's face appeared on the comm
unit's monitor, and the Legate blinked in surprise. Then he put on the
oddest smile.

"I'm sorry, my dear," the Legate said pleasantly. "I can't speak with
you now. Contact me again in five minutes."

The transmission cut off.

"I didn't know the two of you were so close," Kira laughed.

"I may have compromised him," Damar said. "Someone was with him. But
I'd say we have him. Or at least we have him curious enough to want to
talk to us."

"It's a start," Kira agreed. "If we can have him start working through
his connections and Ranel through his friends, we might be able to
pull this off."

Damar gave the Legate his five minutes then contacted him again.

Gudan glared at him when he received Damar's transmission. "I had a
Vorta practically at my shoulder," Gudan said testily.

"I apologize if I compromised you," Damar said.

"I covered us well enough," Gudan grumbled. "This appears to be a
secured channel."

"It is," Damar said.

"The Vorta will become suspicious if he sees I'm on a secured
channel."

"Then we'll make this brief. I've contacted you to ask you to join us
in the fight for our people's freedom against our Dominion
oppressors."

Gudan frowned. "Freedom from the Dominion would be a welcomed thing.
I've heard many strange rumors, though I'm not sure what to believe.
The Dominion has clamped down on any news coming into the base."

"I'm sure you're in a position now that you weren't in before that
will allow you to overcome Dominion blocks on incoming transmissions."

Gudan flinched. "I suppose that I am at that."

"I don't know about rumors, but I can tell you the facts. This is Kira
Nerys," Damar gestured to Kira at his side. "Our Bajoran compatriot.
She's here risking her life for Cardassian liberation. The people are
rising up in revolt and are fighting for their freedom. If a Bajoran
is willing to fight, and the common people in the streets are willing
to fight, we wonder why the Cardassian military isn't willing to fight
as well to free Cardassia from the Dominion."

"It isn't that the military isn't willing to fight," Gudan said. "Many
are willing. The increase in tension has been enormous throughout the
military. The harsher the Dominion becomes, the more we want to break
away from them. But our position is precarious."

"I'm aware of the situation," Damar nodded. "I know it's extremely
difficult. But the Dominion has chained the military to them, and it
is now time to break those chains. If the military does not, then they
will find themselves fighting against the Cardassian people. I know
you don't want that to happen."

"I do not," Gudan agreed. "But I'm not sure how to break those chains.
None of us are sure."

"You break them by fighting back," Kira said. "With everything that
you have, you must fight back."

"Brave words," Gudan said coolly. "But they don't tell me how exactly
we are to fight back. The Dominion holds all the power here. For every
three Cardassians there is an armed Jem'Hadar. For every Gul, there is
a Vorta. Every action is monitored. Every word noted. All positions of
power and influence have been taken by Broca's men."

"You begin by gathering allies," Damar said. "Like minded people
willing to risk their lives for their freedom. You begin by
coordinating yourselves. You find ways to fight back. Concerted
uprisings on the bases, mutinies against the Jem'Hadar on the ships.
And you, Legate Gudan, will begin by breaking down the Dominion blocks
against incoming transmissions and by spreading the word of the
revolution through all the bases and fleets. Unity is our strength,
Legate Gudan, and in this we must be united."

Gudan looked thoughtful then nodded. "I will do as you command, Legate
Damar."

"Excellent," Damar smiled. "I will contact you tomorrow about your
status."

"Very well," Gudan said and cut the transmission.

Damar looked to Kira. "What do you think?"

Kira shrugged. "I'm not sure. He seemed hesitant. Like Ranel."

Damar nodded. "Guls and Legates aren't used to having to strike out on
their own. They're too dependent on orders from those above them. But
Gudan acknowledged me as his superior officer and said he would obey
my orders. We'll have to hope that he will and that he will be
effective. There's not much more than that we can do at this point."

"I suppose that's true," Kira nodded. "Except to hope in destiny and
pray to the Prophets."

Warmed by the thought, Damar studied her. "Do you pray for us, Nerys?"

She smiled. "Every day, Esorel."

---

For the first time, Kira regretted leaving Damar behind alone in the
cellar. Trelek had come to escort her to another meeting, but Kira
didn't want to leave Damar's side that afternoon. They had fallen into
a long and interesting discussion, and during it she learned that he
had always been an idealist. She had never suspected that of him until
she joined the rebellion. Before then, he had always put up such a
hard and angry front that it hid the deep, untapped longing in his
heart for something better and more noble for his people. When he
rebelled and became, as he said, his own man freed from the Dominion's
puppet strings and from the ways and indoctrination of the old
Cardassia, all those hidden, unrecognized dreams came blossoming out
of him.

While sitting and talking with him, it was a wonderful thing to see in
him. Such stirring idealism was now brought forward, clarified with
bitter truth, and driving him into right action. In the Bajoran
Resistance, she had never held such dreams. All she wanted was freedom
from the Cardassians, but she had never given thought to what would
become of Bajor after they left. Naively, she had rather thought Bajor
would just go back to what they had before the Occupation.

The Resistance didn't have many dreamers like Damar. Perhaps there
were some in the beginning who saw the chance of driving out the
Cardassians to be an opportunity to renew Bajor. But in the long,
drawn out struggle for survival, let alone for freedom, Bajorans
didn't have time to dream of a better, stronger Bajor and to plan for
it during the resistance.

Perhaps if they did, the aftermath of the Occupation might have gone
smoother. Instead, Bajor had to struggle again through factional
in-fighting, betrayals and corrupting politics. After seven years,
their government had finally started to stabilize, and they had a good
man as First Minister. And a dangerous woman as Kai.

If the struggle to free Cardassia became protracted, Damar and the
others dreaming and planning with him could loss sight of their dreams
if it became a fight for daily survival. Kira prayed that wouldn't
happen. She prayed that the Federation Alliance would make their move
soon.

Damar looked clearly disappointed when she gathered her tellek robe to
leave. Disappointed as well, she wished she could kiss him good bye,
though that wouldn't do in front of Glinn Trelek. Especially since the
woman had an obvious crush on Damar, something she pretended that
didn't exist.

Kira followed Trelek out of the mansion and into the dusk-shrouded
street. They moved from the wealthy neighborhood into a shopping
district, and Trelek covertly led Kira through shadowed alleyways.
Nearing a corner, Trelek suddenly pulled Kira back against the wall of
a building. From the shadows, Kira and Trelek peered around the
corner. In the street, two Jem'Hadar soldiers grabbed a woman wearing
a tellek robe similar to Kira's. With rough treatment, they held her
and pulled back her hood. Anger coursed within Kira at the brutality
of the Jem'Hadar. Instinctively, she pulled out her phaser.

Trelek looked down at Kira then drew her disruptor. Feeling united
with her, Kira gave her a sharp nod. Together, they stepped out of the
shadowed alley and fired with precision at the Jem'Hadar. Both
soldiers fell dead at the woman's feet, and she stood looking shocked
and frightened. A young woman, Kira noted. Too young to have to suffer
widowhood.

"Are you all right?" Glinn Trelek asked the woman as they hurried to
her. Kira scooped up the Jem'Hadar rifles.

"Yes," the woman stammered. "Thank you."

Seeing Kira's face, the woman's eyes went wide. "You're the Bajoran
come to help us," she breathed in wonder. "I've heard stories about
you."

Wondering what stories, Kira said, "Those two soldiers were probably
looking for me. It'd be a good idea for you widows to not keep your
hoods up. You'll avoid trouble with them if you do."

"No," Trelek said stoutly. "That will just make it more difficult to
hide your identity."

"I can live with some shoving from the Jem'Hadar," the widow said to
Kira. "If that will help keep you safe."

"As long as it's only shoving," Kira said. "Come on. We need to get
out of here."

The three women hurried back into the alley.

"We will escort you home," the young Glinn offered the widow, though
her hardness made it sound like an order.

"I'll be fine," the widow shook her head. "My house isn't far. Thank
you both very much for helping me."

"You're welcome," Kira said.

The young widow rushed away into the streets, and Kira and Trelek
moved in the opposite direction. They hurried through more
neighborhoods, keeping to the shadows of the closely spaced houses and
letting the night fog hide them from the Jem'Hadar patrols. They went
as quickly as they could, but Kira wanted to run. Fear gripping her
heart, she suddenly felt too vulnerable, too exposed. She had been a
fool to think she could walk the streets of Cardassia with nothing
more than a robe to hide her features. Refusing to give in to her
fear, she used her long experience to remained calm, all of her senses
alert to the dangers around her as she moved stealthily with Trelek.

Finally, Trelek brought her to the door of the modest house. Within,
Kira found relief at the familiar faces of the Cardassians around her
and felt a measure of safety again. She handed over the Jem'Hadar
rifles to add to their weapons cache.

The meeting went well, though she knew it would be her last. Unless
she found another way to hide her features, she couldn't dare to leave
their hiding place again. Since it was the last opportunity she had to
instruct her core group, she spent extra time with them, helping them
fine-tune their newly learned skills in making a variety of incendiary
devices and honing their terrorist tactics.

Kira returned to Mila's house in the deep of the night. As she came
down the stairs, she saw Damar and Garak sitting on their bunks and
talking. Garak looked understanding, though Damar looked a bit ashamed
and resigned. They broke off their talk the moment she started down
the stairs, though she could guess the nature of their discussion.
Especially when they stood and Damar gripped Garak's shoulder, saying
sincerely, "Thank you, Garak."

"Good evening, Commander," Garak said, turning to her with his usual
smile.

"How did it go?" Damar asked.

"It went well," she said then hesitated, having to resign herself to
the fact that she couldn't leave the cellar again. "There was an
incident this evening. Jem'Hadar soldiers have started to search
widows wearing these tellek robes. I think word has gotten to them
that I'm on Cardassia Prime."

Damar looked disturbed by that. "I knew that robe wasn't enough to
protect you."

"It did feel like I was tempting fate every time I left here," Kira
conceded.

"We mentioned you in our propaganda campaign today," Garak said, then
added quickly, "Not by name, of course."

"Why did you mention me at all?" Kira asked, angry that he had
compromised her.

"Because you're one of the strengths of this revolution," Garak
replied as though surprised that she had to ask. "A Bajoran of all
people aiding the fight for Cardassian liberation is a rather romantic
notion, and our people respond to that sort of thing. It's the same
reason they responded to Damar. We've always appreciated strong,
courageous and noble figures in Cardassia."

"Noble," Kira snorted, her modesty shaken by Garak's implied
compliment.

"You saw how it worked with Gudan, Nerys," Damar told her. "You being
here helped to persuade him. He saw that you were willing to fight for
us, and that helped him to understand that he should be fighting for
us as well."

"I don't know," Kira said doubtfully. "When we started this whole
thing, we were trying to down play me as a Bajoran. Now, you
practically flaunt me."

Damar smiled at her, stepping up to her to grip her arm. "If there's
one thing you've taught in this whole movement, it's how to turn
weaknesses into strengths."

"It also means," Kira said in exasperation, "that I can't leave this
cellar any more."

Damar's hand ran up her arm. "I wouldn't mind the company."

"Perhaps my news will make you feel better," Garak said with a smile.
"Our propaganda is finally getting through to the military. Thanks to
Legate Gudan."

"He's found a way," Damar told her, "to get the transmissions around
the Dominion's blocks. If the military personnel didn't know about the
people's movement, they do now."

"That's excellent," Kira said. "Now Broca and his cronies can't ignore
what's happening any more."

"If he still chooses to back the Dominion," Damar said, "then he does
it knowing full well that he's going against our people."

"Let's hope that it will make a difference," Garak put in. "I couldn't
care less if it sways Broca, but it could bring some very powerful
officers to our side."

"The more of them, the better," Kira agreed.

It being late, no one objected when Garak announced that he wanted to
get some sleep. Kira did as well and went around the partition to
undress and then to slip under the covers of her bunk. She sent more
prayers to the Prophets, remembering how strange it was that Damar
seemed to like the idea that she prayed for his people. After all, he
knew nothing of prayer, but perhaps his pleasure about it came from
knowing that Kira could no longer see the Cardassians as her enemies
if she cared enough to pray for them. Now, all the common people
within the revolution were her allies. Any one who sided with Damar,
sided with the Federation.

None of them missed the irony of it all, yet perhaps it was as Garak
said. A romantic notion to them that a former enemy guilty of killing
hundreds of Cardassians had put aside her hatred to fight for the
principals she believed in. Freedom was the calling of her heart and,
in the end, it didn't matter to her whose freedom she fought for. She
had no qualms about taking into her heart anyone yearning for freedom
and willing to risk all for that great cause.

---

The turmoil within Cardassia grew, straining to the breaking point.
Whole families were joining the covert revolutionary movement, pushed
into it through anger and frustration that the Dominion had separated
them from their loved ones in the military. Wives could not see their
husbands. Children couldn't be with their mothers. Fathers were denied
contact with their sons. Such a thing could not be tolerated within
Cardassia. The Dominion threatened the very core of their society,
their families.

For Cardassians, family was their haven of safety and comfort. In
their ruthless, treacherous world, trust among Cardassians was a thing
to be earned, and even then Cardassians didn't trust too far.
Betrayals were common in all strata of society. Corruption had been
rampant for centuries. Cardassian justice wasn't a thing they could
put faith in. Used to a society where manipulation and deceit got more
things done than honesty and trust, they were always on guard against
others using those traits against them. They lived in constant fear
that one day they would be accused of the terrible crimes of
disloyalty, of selfish individualism, and of putting oneself before
the needs of the State. The slightest accusation, even without merit
or evidence, could be deadly. Daring to question the smallest act of
the State was considered treason.

The indoctrination pounded into them from their youths demanded strict
adherence to the State with the slightest deviant behavior punished.
The State required unquestioned obedience and undifferentiated loyalty
from individuals, but it gave little back to them except for a
stagnating stability. In Cardassia, individuals didn't matter. What
mattered the most was family. Even over the State.

The only respite they had from their harsh and dangerous world came
from within their homes. Side by side with State indoctrination,
Cardassians learned from infancy that the only thing they could truly
rely upon was family. Outside the home, the Cardassians were rigid and
hard, wearing masks of false civility that hid their true selves.
Within the home, the masks came off, and they could relax and be
themselves around people who loved them. Though Cardassian discipline
was maintained within their homes, they were more compassionate and
lenient to family members than they could be to others outside. To
them, the worst crime of all was disloyalty to family.

Now the Dominion, utterly ignorant of the concept of family, was
tearing apart the very fabric of Cardassian life. Bad enough that they
had bloodlessly invaded their world, but that they started to pull
down the strongholds the Cardassians cherished the most had become
unbearable to them all.

It had created a chaotic, desperate atmosphere in Cardassia. Still, in
spite of it all, in spite of the crimes the Dominion had done against
the people, in spite of the people rising up in revolt, determined to
take back their world, the puppet leader of Cardassia refused to
command the military to turn against the Dominion.

What would it take, Damar thought as he studied the unofficial news
pouring through the comm unit. What would it take to make Broca see?
Garak may not worry about swaying Broca, but Damar knew that the
military en masse wouldn't side against the Dominion unless the
leadership ordered it. Individual officers like Gudan may be willing
to work against them, but not the men currently in power and
determined to stay there. What was needed were more individuals like
Gudan, concerted together to pull the military out of Broca's, and
therefore, the Dominion's grasp.

He couldn't judge the military for their lack of action, for he knew
them all too well. The people in the military would have to listen to
their hearts before they would see that they had no choice but to join
the civilians. Military personnel weren't used to listening to their
hearts. Rather, they were encouraged not to. They listened to the
orders of those above them and indoctrinated to believe that their
superior officers knew what they were doing.

The young officers and soldiers leaving their posts for the
underground revolution were exceptional ones in the military. They
were liberal minded, willing to consider new and different approaches,
able to see that their superiors were wrong and willing to stand
against them.

Damar imagined that the personnel left in the military were feeling
very confused and torn at the moment. On the one side, their superiors
remained steadfast to the Dominion and required all the rest to do the
same. Their training and indoctrination wouldn't allow for them to
question their superiors or the actions of the State in the Dominion's
hands. On the other side were their families, angry and fed up with
the cruel oppressions that were destroying their very foundation.
Their hearts were telling them to side with their families. They had
to be, Damar thought.

Of everything, the one thing Damar feared the most, the thing every
Cardassian feared, was civil war. In five hundred years, they had
never had a civil war. Cardassians warred against others but not
themselves. Differences were settled with backroom betrayals and
political coups rather than with open warfare.

The closest they had come to civil war in all the centuries had
happened only a few years ago. The dissident movement had grown strong
and influential, members joining political bodies where their voices
could be heard. It had been another confusing, chaotic time for the
people of Cardassia, and Damar had always suspected that one reason
why the military capitulated to the civilians was to avoid the risk of
Cardassians spilling the blood of other Cardassians in war. The
civilian ascent into power had come as another political coup of far
reaching consequences.

Would the military have the same desire to avoid civil war and come to
the civilians' side? Or would they remember the weakened state
Cardassia was in once power had been stripped from the military? They
had become so weakened that the Klingons had little trouble invading
their territories, which had driven them into the Dominion's arms in
the first place.

Damar knew that militarily, Cardassia was stronger with the Dominion,
but weakness was a thing Cardassia had to risk. And though the idea of
it shredded his soul as cruelly as the fangs of an epilen, he knew
they also had to risk civil war. In all of this, Damar felt his worse
crime was that he had warred against his own people when he struck at
military facilities during his rebellion. He had hated that he had to
do it, and his guilt over it constantly ate at him. But he had no
choice but to make himself the enemy of the Cardassian military.

He had no doubt that was exactly how the military saw him. As their
enemy. The man who had warred against his own people. It may well be
that his name associated with the revolution was one thing holding the
military back from siding with their people. He was sure that they
didn't want to have anything to do with the treacherous Legate Damar.

At least, Gudan had proven himself useful by breaking down the
Dominion's blocks against Garak's propaganda. Damar didn't like the
propaganda. The hyperbole of it all soured his stomach. But he had to
admit that it had the desired effect.

Behind him, on his bunk, Kira lounged and looked bored. Now that she
couldn't leave the cellar, she didn't have anything to do except to
have an occasional conference over the comm unit with members of her
core group. As usual, Damar didn't have much to do either. Everyone in
the revolution considered him their leader, but he wondered if the
people knew that he wasn't doing much to lead them. He couldn't do
anything except to make targets lists and tactical suggestions, which
Garak disseminated through his Intelligence cells to all the rest of
the cells.

As frustrating as it was, Damar knew there was no other option. With
the vast network of autonomous cells spread across Cardassia, his
people moved together yet separately. The cells didn't need a leader
commanding them, since the whole point of autonomy was that they
worked independently. Damar's role, as he saw it, was simply to point
them all in the right directions and to give them all hope for the
free Cardassia they all fought for. But he longed for action and he
longed to be amongst his people, to see them and for them to see him,
to be there with them, urging them all forward.

Even in the cellar, he could feel the tense atmosphere of his planet.
Everything seemed poised for something to happen, and he felt as
though he was waiting. For what, he wasn't sure, though the
frustration of it constantly strained at him. Waiting for the
Federation Alliance to make a move. Waiting for the military to either
fall apart from the strain it was under or turn against the Dominion
completely. Waiting for a reason to get up and risk exposure to fight
against his enemies. How he longed to do that.

According to the propaganda, he was already doing that. The legendary
Legate Damar fought side by side with the common people and gave great
speeches extolling them all to remain steadfast and to yearn for the
freedom awaiting them. In his secret hideaway, he planned for a
renewed and free Cardassia for them all.

At least, Garak spelled his name right, Damar thought sourly. To his
eyes, that was about the only truth in all the propaganda. And the
quotes from all these speeches he supposedly had given were all things
that he had said at one time or another, so that wasn't so bad. It was
true that he planned for a free Cardassia when it was all over, but
all he had was ideas and notes. Nothing concrete to present to the
Cardassian people.

Annoyed with the constant stream of propaganda, Damar reached to open
a channel on the comm unit when something new caught his eye.
Laughing, he looked over at Kira.

"Come here, legend," he said.

Kira cocked her head at him in curiosity then rose from the bunk.
Pulling up a stool to sit beside him, she looked at the monitor.
Suddenly her cheeks flushed red, and she gasped as her hand flew to
her mouth.

"I'm going to kill Garak when I see him," she growled at the monitor.

Still laughing, Damar said, "Now you know how I feel."

"But this is absurd," she said, pointing at the monitor. "I'm not out
fighting."

"You're supporting the fight," Damar said with a shrug as he read the
latest propaganda. It extolled Kira. While not naming her, the
propaganda praised her courage and fortitude and went on at great
length about her compassion for the Cardassian people. All of it was a
direct challenge to the military. How could they side against the
people when even a Bajoran was willing to fight on their behalf?

"It's all nonsense," Kira huffed in annoyance.

"I don't think so," Damar smiled at her. "I think it's all true."

She shook her head, but still smiled from the compliment. Reaching
out, Damar opened a new channel.

"I have to contact Gudan," he told her as he set up the encryption and
sent the hail to Gudan's office. A moment later, Gudan appeared on the
screen.

"I was hoping to catch you in your office," Damar greeted the Legate.

"There's no where else I'm allowed to be," Gudan said in a low voice.
"Hurry. I'm sure my Vorta will return momentarily. None of us are
without the eyes of the Dominion for long."

"I understand you've had some success in contacting the other Guls and
Legates," Damar said, "and breaking down the Dominion blocks against
transmissions. Your work is appreciated."

"The word about the people's revolt is spreading as quickly as it
can," Gudan told him.

"Excellent. Is there any sign that the military will pull away from
the Dominion soon?"

Gudan shook his head. "It's unlikely that they will. The Dominion and
Broca have the military in a tight fist. All we can hope for is
individual officers to continue to the leave the ranks, though that
does weaken us."

"I'm aware of that," Damar said in annoyance. "And it's not enough.
Broca and his followers need to be pulled out of power and officers
loyal to the people put in their place."

"You ask for too much."

"I'm not the one asking for it," Damar snapped. "This isn't about what
I want. It's what is best for our people."

"That may be best for our people," Gudan replied, sounding equally
annoyed, "but it's not going to happen. Our soldiers follow the orders
of our leader, and you know better than anyone that it doesn't matter
who our leader is as long as the Dominion is in power here."

Damar shook his head. Gudan was right, though the fact of it made a
fire burn in Damar's stomach. For the first time, he questioned what
he had done. How would things be different if he had stayed in office
and worked to undermine the Dominion from the inside? The exact thing
he needed someone else to do for him now.

"It does matter," Damar replied. "Cardassia needs a leader loyal to
our people, not one loyal to the Dominion. The only thing Broca cares
about is holding onto the bare measure of power the Dominion gives
him."

"I quite agree," Gudan said. "I won't be talking to you now if I
didn't. Many officers think the same, but none of them have any power
to turn the whole military against the Dominion."

"Working together, they could," Damar countered. "If enough commanders
such as yourself banded together with all of their men behind them,
you all could bring a significant portion of the military to the side
of the people."

"That can't possibly happen," Gudan negated. "That would only lead to
civil war. Military against military."

"It will be civil war as long as the military stays with the Dominion.
We can turn it around, but we must do it fast before more blood is
spilled. I have faith in our people. I think that if a large portion
of the military turns against the Dominion, the rest will follow,
leaving Broca with nothing to command."

"And if that happened, we'd all be slaughtered," Gudan said gloomily.
"The Dominion is too powerful for us."

"The Dominion needs Cardassia to win this war," Damar pointed out. "If
we drive them out, they'd be too weak to continue it."

"True, but we're not talking about the war anymore, are we? None us
care about this war."

"The Dominion does, and they're doing everything they can to hold on
to our military. As usual, the Dominion's grip is too tight, so tight
that it shouldn't be tolerated any more. How can the military not see
that? How can they be so afraid that they're willing to suffer insult
and oppression instead of fighting for their freedom?"

"You really don't know the situation here, do you?" Gudan snapped at
him. "Our military personnel are practically working with disruptors
pointed to their heads. They aren't even allowed be armed on their own
ships."

"They have hands, don't they?" Damar asked heatedly.

"For every two Cardassians on those ships there is one Jem'Hadar
pointing a rifle at them," Gudan said with heat.

"Two to one," Damar nodded. "Acceptable odds."

"You are refusing to see the reality of the situation!" Gudan
insisted.

"No, the military is refusing to see the reality of the situation,"
Damar countered, his face hardening into a scowl. "How much clearer
can it be made? They must turn against the Dominion or risk civil
war."

"Attempts have already been made. At the base outside Kirst City, a
pack of Glinns headed by two Guls started a firefight with the
Jem'Hadar. It was a massacre. Over six hundred people dead and the
Dominion still in command there."

Sickened, Damar said, "I wasn't aware of that."

"No, of course you wouldn't be," Gudan sneered, "because the Dominion
has isolated us so severely that no news from the bases is getting
out, but they are certainly spreading the news of it through all the
military facilities to prove their power over us. Just hours ago,
there was mutiny on one of the Galors. A failed mutiny, Legate Damar.
The entire crew was slaughtered. Three hundred people, including the
command staff. And the Dominion is making sure everyone in the
military knows about it as a warning against another attempt."

Growing increasingly angry, Damar declared, "It is a warning that will
go unheeded."

Gudan gave a frustrated sigh. "Legate, the oppressions here are so
severe, so crippling, that our personnel have become demoralized.
They're hesitant to take further action."

"Hesitant?" Damar roared, leaping off his stool in outrage and
disgust. "Hesitant? While our people are fighting in the streets, our
military is hesitant? We're talking about the finest military force in
the Alpha Quadrant! The military is disgracing that tradition. Widow
women have more courage than the fat, lazy Guls and Legates of the
military!

"Now isn't the time to be hesitant. Now is the time to unite, civilian
and military together, dedicated to freedom. A bright and glorious
future will be ours if we have courage and conviction to fight for it
through this dark night with our life's blood! We fight for freedom!
We fight so our children will never know the oppressions of our past.

"You will tell those Legates and Guls and all the rest that I am the
leader of Cardassia, not that usurper Broca, and I command them to arm
themselves with anything they can. Tear apart computer terminals to
fashion clubs if they have to. Turn anything they can into weapons and
fight back. Take command of their ships and turn those ships against
the Dominion. Fight on the side of the Cardassian people. Fight to
vanquish the Dominion oppressors. However they do it, they must fight
for Cardassia or be damned!"

For a moment, Gudan stared at Damar in astonishment. Then he
straightened. "For Cardassia. I will issue your orders immediately,
Legate Damar."

Damar, in his zeal and outrage, gasped for breath and only nodded.
Gudan cut off the transmission.

"Hesitant," Damar growled at the blank monitor. He let out a
frustrated burst of air, then turned and kicked the stool across the
room. "Hesitant! This can't be happening. They can't be that
demoralized. Why aren't oppressions inspiring them to fight back
against it?"

Kira watched him with a mixture of pride and humor. If Damar hadn't
been so worked up, her expression would have pleased him.

"Oppression works like that sometimes," Kira told him. "The point of
oppression is to demoralize people and make them afraid to take a
stand against it."

"I suppose that's true," Damar said. "The Dominion demoralized me for
two years until I had enough of it and fought back. The military must
do the same and they must do it now. How can just one man spread the
word through the military quickly enough?"

"Too bad everyone in the military couldn't hear that speech you just
gave," Kira said.

Damar grimaced, suddenly realizing what an arrogant blow-hard he must
have sounded like. "What speech? All I did was lose my temper and
rant."

"It was pretty effective ranting, Esorel. It certainly made Legate
Gudan realize who the true leader of Cardassia was, if he had any
doubts."

"Now if only the military believed that," Damar grumbled as he went to
right the stool he had kicked. Picking it up, he fought off the urge
to kick it again.

A terrible craving for kanar suddenly pounded into him. The compulsion
to drink came so strongly and out of no where that he nearly gasped.
No, he told himself sternly. He would not drink today. Somehow, that
didn't help and the urge to drink refused to let go of him. At that
moment, he'd given anything for a glass of kanar. Frustrated, he told
himself that he was stronger than this. That didn't help, either. Not
when another voice within him reminded him that he was obviously weak
or else he wouldn't have these cravings for kanar in the first place.
It all made the cravings stronger.

"Esorel?" Kira asked. "Are you all right?"

Damar blinked at her, realizing that he was standing frozen with the
stool in his hands.

"I'm fine," he lied as he carried the stool to the comm unit and
slumped down on it. No need to let her know how weak he was right
then.

Too frustrated to sit still, he got up again and started to pace.
Driving the thought of kanar out of his mind, he tried to dwell on
something else. Unfortunately, his mind went back to thinking about
the military, which didn't help.

For all of his talk about unity, all this time he had been thinking of
the civilians and the military as though they were separate entities.
But both were his people, and it hurt him to know how much the
military personnel were suffering. They were working with rifles at
their heads? Surely Gudan had exaggerated. Knowing the Dominion,
knowing how desperate they were to hold onto their suffocating control
over Cardassia, Gudan may not have been exaggerating by much. Damar
could well imagine Jem'Hadar standing armed on the bridges of the
Galors, watching every move the Cardassian crews made and not
hesitating to kill them if they even twitched the wrong way.

Frustration and cravings grew until Damar thought he was going to lose
the contents of his burning stomach. He envied Kira. He could use a
god to pray to. All he had was faith in his people and the destiny he
hoped for them. He clung to that.

With his hands clenched, he paced. He was so sick of waiting. He was
so sick of things happening outside of this intolerable cellar that
effected his people, things he couldn't touch and over which he had no
control. He couldn't even control himself except for the thinnest
tether to his resolve not to climb the stairs and demand a bottle of
kanar from Mila. Soon, he thought, he would lose even that.

Suddenly, Kira was in front of him. He thought he was probably driving
her crazy with his pacing and had come to knock him senseless and put
him out of her misery. Stopping, he stood before her, ashamed of his
weakness. She reached out and took him by his arms.

"What's going on?" she asked gently.

"I . . ." he started, then swallowed, forcing himself to trust her. He
needed her support so badly. "I don't think I can make it through the
day."

She frowned in confusion at him, then realization came into her eyes.
"Don't do this to yourself, Esorel. As long as you say 'I don't' or 'I
can't', then you won't. I know you can because you've made it through
two days already with no problem. I know you can make it through this
one."

Closing his eyes because he couldn't face her, he shook his head. "The
past two days haven't been as bad as this one. I'm too frustrated with
what Gudan said, and I shouldn't have gotten so angry. Whenever I get
frustrated or angry, I always want a drink. I want it desperately."

"Good," she said and gripped his arms. "It's good that you know the
things that make you want to drink. Personally, I think you have every
right to be angry and frustrated. You just don't have to drink because
of it. You resolved to not drink today, so hold on to that."

"I'm trying," he confessed. "But the end of this day seems an awful
long time from now."

"All right, then," she said with a frown of thought. "You won't drink
this minute. Don't worry about the next one."

"First, I'm not supposed to worry about tomorrow, and now you're
saying not worry about the next minute?"

"Live in the moment. The present is all we have."

"Is that some teaching of the Prophets?"

"In fact, it is."

He nodded. "It's a good teaching."

"Definitely. It got you through a minute without drinking."


He had to laugh at that and she laughed with him.

"That wasn't so hard, was it," she said, pulling closer to him to wrap
her arms around his waist.

"No, it wasn't," he replied, curling his arms around her. "Not with
you, it wasn't."

Looking into her dark eyes, he thought about how disappointed she
would be in him if he gave in and drank. He never wanted her to be
disappointed in him. After all, she had finally stopped hating him.
She'd never look at him with pride and admiration again if he gave in
to his weakness. All he would see in her eyes would be disgust, and
she'd go right back to hating him and he'd deserve it. If he didn't
have the strength not to drink for his own sake, the least he could do
was not drink for Kira's sake. He loved her, after all.

He stiffened as the truth cut through all his confused feelings about
her. He loved her. He had loved her all this time, but he had tried to
ignore that and set it aside as he had done with his hatred of her.
That hatred was gone, but not the love. Stepping back, he pulled his
arms away from her. He couldn't abide holding her; he couldn't abide
loving her when he knew she didn't love him.

"Esorel?" she asked in confusion.

"I'm all right now," he told her, another lie. Going back to the comm
unit, he sat down again. "Don't worry. The worst is over, I think."

"All right," she said, her voice uncertain.

Accessing the frequencies, the latest news from the cells told in the
form of propaganda scrolled on the screen in front of him. Damar
didn't see it. The cravings still rode strong within him, and if all
he could manage was not drinking for a minute at a time, so be it.

---

The day felt terminally long. The cravings never left Damar; they only
got lost in all the other things that kept spinning in his mind that
kept him frustrated.

Kira tried to talk to him several times, but he couldn't concentrate
very long on keeping up his end of the conversation. For that, Kira
accused him of being moody and that he should just stop brooding. Mila
brought them food but what little he ate, he ate without enjoyment.
Everything felt far too bleak for that.

He stopped paying attention to the local frequencies because the lies
the propagandists spread about him sickened him. For a while, he went
through his notes about government, but as pleasing and inspiring as
his dreams were, it only added to his frustration that he couldn't
work on making it all come true with others.

He had imagined creating a council of people like Bastin and Lady
Nelren who could meet with him and hammer out the beginnings of the
new Republic. What he had hoped for, he couldn't have just yet. Kira
told him that he shouldn't worry about his new government, since there
was no use worrying about what would happen after the war before
they've even won it. More of the teaching of the Prophets, he
supposed. Kira had a talent for not worrying about the future, but the
future was what Damar lived for. He hated that he couldn't actively
work on his highest dream right then and there.

Lying on his bunk and feeling depressed, he stared at the slowly
rotating blades of the high ceiling fan while Kira worked on the
computer. Even though she had said that the cells should chose their
own targets, she still combed the data looking for new ones.

When the door of the cellar opened, Damar looked over to see Garak
nearly running down the stairs in excitement. Wondering what there was
to be excited about, Damar sat up.

"Have you heard the news?" Garak asked as he came down the landing.
"It's just incredible."

"What's incredible?" Kira asked, turning in her seat.

"There's been a riot at the Cardassian State Opera House," Garak
replied, his eyes bright with excitement.

"At the Opera House?" Damar asked since it was an unlikely setting for
a riot.

"Just a moment," Garak said, hurrying to the comm unit. When he
accessed it, Weyoun's image came on the screen.

" . . . from sunset to sunrise," Weyoun was saying, "no one will be
allowed outside of their homes without the strict authorization of the
Central Command. Anyone violating this curfew will be arrested and
punished to the full extent of the law . . ."

"Meaning, they'll be put to death," Damar muttered angrily.

"Hush," Garak said, waving his hand at him.

Weyoun continued, smiling from the monitor. "This measure will ensure
continued peace and stability throughout the Cardassian Union. Your
cooperation is appreciated."

When Weyoun's image left the screen, Damar turned away. "New curfews,"
he grumbled.

"That must have been some riot," Kira commented. "What happened,
Garak?"

Garak went to his bunk to sit opposite Damar while Kira moved to
Damar's side.

"The Cardassian State Opera Company performed 'Perscailen's Ascent'
this evening," Garak explained. "The performance of that opera is
considered a great cultural event. It was written by one of the finest
composers in Cardassian history, and Perscailen, the main character of
the opera, has been a heroic figure for nearly a thousand years.
You've seen it, haven't you, Damar?"

"No," Damar said. "I've never liked opera, but I know Perscailen's
legend."

Garak looked disappointed in him, but continued. "Traditionally, the
performers wear costumes authentic to the period of a thousand years
ago and, the opera is set in Rafer's castle. According to the myths,
Rafer and his god, Meliket, were the great enemies of Perscailen. With
this performance, the opera company did something very daring. Very
unconventional. They set the opera in the Command Center of the
Central Command."

"The Dominion's headquarters," Damar commented.

"Exactly," Garak nodded. "At any other time, it would be scandalous to
go against tradition like that. The audience would have harassed the
performers off the stage. Not this time, though. From what I hear, the
audience knew exactly what the setting and the characters represented.
When Rafer came out in the first scene, he was wearing a Legate's
uniform, though with the Legate's badge blackened and turned upside
down."

That shocked Damar. "I'm surprised that the performers weren't
immediately arrested."

"Well, there were Jem'Hadar soldiers at all the entrances," Garak told
them. "No Cardassians can gather in a group in public with them
watching our every move. But the Jem'Hadar didn't know who Rafer
represented. The audience did, and the performer could hardly finished
the opening aria because of all the shouting."

"So who did Rafer represent?" Kira asked.

"Why, Broca, of course," Garak said. "The audience kept shouting
'usurper' and 'traitor' at the performer. And when Meliket appeared,
she was dressed as the Founder."

"The Founder?" Damar asked in astonishment. He had never heard of such
a thing happening in Cardassia. State-run theater and opera groups
weren't allowed to be so deviant and audacious. Theater, in Damar's
opinion, was staid and dull.

Garak laughed. "How I wish I had seen it," he chortled. "It's amazing
they got away with it."

"What did the Jem'Hadar do?" Kira asked.

"Nothing, apparently," Garak told her. "It seems that they weren't
paying much attention to what was happening on the stage. They were
more concerned with the audience. They grew increasingly unruly."

"Hard to believe that of an audience attending an opera," Kira put in.

"True, though 'Perscailen's Ascent' is quite popular across all social
stratum," Garak said. "The stirring music mixed with the astonishing
setting and costumes pushed them over the edge. Especially when
Perscailen made his entrance. The whole audience was on their feet.
From what I hear, that alarmed the Jem'Hadar who started to try to
calm down the audience. With all of them so stirred with patriotism
because of the opera and the symbolism of Perscailen, the audience
became a mob and rioted. They attacked the Jem'Hadar, killing all of
them, though forty-eight members of the audience also died in the
riot. The orchestra never stopped playing through the whole thing and
the singer performing Perscailen stayed on the stage and kept
encouraging the mob until a Jem'Hadar solider shot him. That only
enraged the crowd even more."

"We never had something like that happen in Bajoran Resistance," Kira
chuckled. "Why did they get so stirred up over Perscailen?"

"Perscailen is more than just a heroic figure of ancient legends,"
Garak told her. "He's a metaphorical representation of the spirit of
Cardassia. Even during a normal performance, Perscailen's entrance is
always greatly anticipated."

"If Rafer represented Broca," Kira said, her eyes going to Damar, "and
Meliket represented the Founder, then . . ."

"Precisely," Garak said with nod, and acid suddenly rose in Damar's
throat.

"No," he gasped, curling his arms around his stomach.

"Perscailen came on the stage dressed in a Legate's uniform," Garak
went on, "with the badge right-side up and gleaming. The imagery
wasn't lost on anyone. Apparently, the whole audience cheered and
called out 'Damar!' and 'Cardassia!' It must have been a stunning
moment."

Damar's head swam and his stomach lurched again. In a rush, he ran up
the stairs and to the cleansing room. There, he vomited into the waste
receptacle until he brought up bile. With shaking hands, he washed his
face and rinsed his mouth. He felt nearly numb with horror. What had
happened was unfathomable.

As he came into the kitchen, he paused at the door, the cravings
having risen to an irresistible force. One drink, he thought. Just
one. That's all he'd have. Kanar would calm his nerves and settle his
stomach. It would take away the frustrating cravings that were nearly
driving him insane. Just one drink.

His breathing harsh, he wiped his mouth with his hand, tasting the
kanar already. No, he thought. The day was nearly done, and he had
resolved not to drink that day. So close to reaching that goal, he
told himself not to ruin everything by drinking.

He couldn't believe how hard it was for him to go through the door and
down the stairs. Kira and Garak looked up at him in concern.

"Are you all right?" Kira asked.

Damar mutely shook his head as he sat down on the bunk, his head
hanging.

"Perhaps you're taking this a bit too much to heart," Garak suggested
to him.

Lifting his head, Damar said, "No word about this in the propaganda."

"But, Damar," Garak protested. "The metaphor is perfect."

"Not one word!" Damar barked at him. "It's too much, Garak."

"I don't think it is," Garak argued.

"I will not be equated with Perscailen," Damar growled at him. "I
won't allow it!"

Garak gave him a strange look. "It's not your place to allow it or
not."

"What?" Damar snapped.

"It's the expression of the people, Damar. The freedom of speech you
now hold so dear. Will you suppress it?"

Damar stared at him, stunned. "But, it's absurd, Garak. You know
that."

Garak gave him a fond smile. "I think your ego is getting in your way.
It wasn't just equating you with Perscailen, Damar. Perscailen is a
representation of Cardassia herself, Cardassia in the grips of the
Dominion and fighting to free herself, just as Perscailen fought
against Rafer. That's what the people responded to. It wasn't just
about you."

That didn't make Damar feel any better about it, but Garak was right.
If he believed in freedom of speech, he couldn't start suppressing it
again just because he didn't like what was being said.

Tired of the long, frustrating day, Damar said, "If you don't mind,
I'm going to sleep."

"Of course," Garak said, standing from his bunk.

"Good night, Damar. Garak." Kira nodded to each of them, then
disappeared around the partition.

Damar undressed, tossing his clothes on the floor then slipping down
under the covers of his bunk. Rolling his eyes, Garak retrieved the
garments and hung them up neatly on the rack against the wall. After
dressing in his sleeping clothes, Garak turned out the light, and the
cellar became dark and quiet.

Damar's mind and body refused to settle down to sleep, and he spent
what felt like hours staring out into the darkness of the cellar and
tossing and turning in the uncomfortable bunk. Listening to Garak's
soft breath of sleep, Damar sat up and pulled his legs around the side
of the bunk. Sleep apparently wasn't going to happen. He wrapped
himself in the blankets to fend off the chill of the cellar and tried
to fight off his growing frustration.

He couldn't take it any more. Everything within him demanded either a
drink or for him to flee his prison or both. He couldn't do either,
but he was sure he'd go insane if he didn't do something.

In the dark of night, Damar sat on his bunk, his bare feet chilled by
the cold, hard floor, and he felt queasy again just thinking about the
Opera House riot. Even as he resisted the sickening self-delusion of
equating himself with Perscailen, he had to admit the symbolism was
stirring, and he found the idea of equating the Founder, the god of
the Dominion, with Meliket, the evil god of Rafer, an appropriate
metaphor. Damar was enough of a romantic to think of Broca as Rafer as
very satisfying.

But him as Perscailen? He could imagine Dukat reveling in the notion
of himself as Perscailen. Dukat was deluded and mad enough for that.
Damar could imagine any number of ambitious, prideful Cardassians
taking smug satisfaction in the thought of themselves as the great,
ancient legend. It saddened Damar to know there were Cardassians
arrogant enough to think that of themselves. But Damar had learned to
hate falsity and delusion. He wanted only the hard, pure truth about
himself and Cardassia because only by that would Cardassia overcome
its flaws and oppressive nature. By the hard, pure truth had Damar
overcome his own oppressive nature.

He would never be like Perscailen. Like the great legend, he knew he
was strong and courageous. But Perscailen had been wise and noble,
beloved for his renowned generosity and compassion. Damar felt that
his own ability for generosity and compassion was weak and feeble in
comparison. Besides, Perscailen would never sit in a cellar hiding
from his enemies. He would boldly go out and confront them.

Damar rose from the bunk, moving as quietly as possible to the
partition Garak had set up for them. A little corner of privacy where
the men could dress outside of Kira's view. He found his satchel and
pulled out his uniform. He had no idea why he had the compulsion to
wear his uniform, but it felt good as he dressed and put his disruptor
into his holster. The uniform made him feel right, strong and brave.
But another part of him knew it wasn't right and that he was just as
strong and brave without it.

Stealthily, Damar crept up the stairs and out of the house. He walked.
He didn't know where he was going or what he planned to do. He just
wanted to walk, to be away from the cellar, to feel the cold night air
on his face and the heavy mist of the fog. He moved through the
shadows of the neighborhood, slipping around trees and houses. Damar
walked in a straight line and followed that line wherever it led.

Jem'Hadar patrols were out in full force, enforcing their strict
curfew in the face of the increase in tensions and the erupting
violence of the people. Damar hid from the patrols, sneering at them
from the shadows, feeling hatred and rage that the Jem'Hadar had taken
ownership of the streets. He needed to feel that hatred and rage
again. It fueled him as much as his hopes for the future and his
thirst for freedom.

Creeping around corners, staying in the deep shadows, Damar moved
through the neighborhood of the wealthy into the neighborhood of the
poor. No one was about but the steady march of Jem'Hadar patrols. The
atmosphere felt still and oppressive, and his rage burned brighter and
brighter. He slipped from tree to house and a hard voice stopped him.

"You! Stop!"

Jem'Hadar behind him. Damar found himself standing in a pool of light
and knew the light would blind him if he turned. Fear thudded through
him but his rage felt far greater.

"Turn around!" the voice ordered. A different voice. Two of them,
Damar thought. He hoped there weren't more.

"I said, turn around, Cardassian."

Damar did turn, rolling down onto the ground as he did so. In one
quick, fluid movement, he pulled out his disruptor and fired into the
light. A cry of pain echoed in the foggy night. Plasma fire sliced
past his head and Damar fired again at its source. The sound of a
thudding body and clatter of a rifle crashing against the ground then
silence. A blue ray of light beamed still over the ground.

Damar hurried away, knowing the sound of disruptors would bring more
Jem'Hadar to the site. The action had been very satisfying but hardly
made a dent in his growing rage. Two Jem'Hadar down, he thought.
Millions more to go.

Quickly, stealthily, Damar moved through the neighborhood, avoiding
the Jem'Hadar and battening down his urge to confront them or to kill
them from the shadows. He came near a shopping district and skirted
around it. It was too well lit and no Cardassians would be there. Only
Jem'Hadar. He didn't care about Jem'Hadar eyes. He only cared about
Cardassian eyes.

Damar walked, enjoying the sensation of movement, enjoying the heat of
his righteous anger. But he hated having to be stealthy. He didn't
want to hide. He wanted to walk the streets of his city with his head
held high as a Cardassian should walk. He passed more houses, skirted
more shopping districts, crept around schools and factories, and
avoided Jem'Hadar barracks.

As he veered from his straight line away from one such barracks, an
explosion suddenly shook the ground. Turning, he saw thick black smoke
pouring out of the barracks. Then he heard a voice.

"Here they come," the voice whispered from behind him and to his left.

Gagging from the smoke, Jem'Hadar began to stumble out of the
barracks. Damar grabbed his disruptor and dove behind the wall of the
building. In a crouch, he looked up into the eyes of a hard-faced
young Cardassian. Damar scanned the scene, seeing other figures
crouched in the dark all around the barracks. All together, they began
to fire their weapons at the Jem'Hadar.

Disruptor fire rent the night, the light defused by the heavy mist
from the sea. From around the edge of the building, Damar fired into
the crowd of choking Jem'Hadar. From every direction, disruptor fire
blasted into the Jem'Hadar. Blinded by the smoke, the Jem'Hadar tried
to fight back, but their shots were wild and erratic. Down they fell
and in a matter of minutes, their bodies made a pile in the center of
the square. A sudden silence fell over the scene.

"Come on," the young man whispered to Damar and grabbed his shoulder.
They turned and ran. The pounding of footsteps echoed all around him
as they ran away from the light of the square. More Cardassians ran
with him, all young, male and female, some in uniform, some in
civilian dress. Damar's heart thudded with pride for them and for
himself as he ran with them into the dark streets of a residential
district.

Pounding footsteps and angry voices followed them as they ran. More
Jem'Hadar. Damar looked behind him to see their pursuit. They fired at
the fleeing Cardassian backs. One young woman fell as plasma fire
ripped through her.

Damar stopped, feeling his rage heating him, feeling brave and
reckless as his adrenaline pumped through him. Reveling in it, he felt
more alive than he had in days. In the light of the Jem'Hadar plasma
fire, he crouched and fired into the gathering troops. Rolling
shoulder over shoulder, he moved behind a tree. The young man he had
ran with followed him. The other Cardassians moved quickly behind
trees and houses, firing into the Jem'Hadar racing towards them. More
Cardassians fell, but many more Jem'Hadar joined them in death.

The Jem'Hadar stood their ground with typical foolish courage. They
didn't duck behind trees but stood boldly, firing their plasma rifles
into the shadows. Overconfidence wasn't just the failing of the
Weyoun; it was the failing of the entire Dominion. Plasma fire and
disruptor fire lit the night. Damar heard cries of pain and falling
bodies. A blast of plasma fire shredded the skin of his shoulder in a
searing burst of agony. Damar ignored his wound. He fired and kept
firing until all the Jem'Hadar were down.

Silence again. Damar looked at the young man hiding with him behind
the tree.

"Well done," Damar said, clapping the man's shoulder. The young
Cardassian blinked at him, and Damar saw recognition come into his
eyes.

"Legate Damar?" the young man stammered.

"It fills my heart with pride," Damar said to him, "to see your
courage and dedication to our fight for freedom. Go now. You have done
enough this night, and you all have my gratitude."

The young man hesitated, his eyes wide, then he nodded and ran down
the street. The other Cardassians ran with him, and Damar heard the
stunned voice of the young man speaking in awe.

"That was Legate Damar."

Very satisfying. Very gratifying. No longer feeling he was living a
lie, Damar moved quickly and stealthily away from the sight of their
little battle. His rage spent and his adrenaline fading, Damar clapped
his hand over his wounded shoulder. It was just a graze, but he felt
blood on his hand and the wound throbbed fiercely. Using the night
shadows and fog, Damar hurried through neighborhoods, rushing past
schools and libraries, theaters and bars, factories and business
districts. Everywhere were Jem'Hadar. Everywhere their stony faces and
cold, lifeless eyes.

Coming back to Mila's house, Damar felt a rush of relief. Safety at
last. He slipped into the house and down into the cellar.

Creeping in the darkness, Damar searched around for a med kit. He
couldn't find one, and just as he was thinking he'd have to go and
awaken Mila to help him treat his arm, he heard Garak lift out of his
bunk.

"Where have you been?" Garak whispered. "What have you been doing?"

Garak moved to his side then sucked in his breath.

"You're injured," Garak made it sound like an accusation. "What have
you done?"

"I ran with a pack of epilens," Damar said, holding his arm, "and got
into a firefight with the Jem'Hadar."

Damar heard a muffled huff of annoyance then the overhead light
switched on. Great. Kira. He should have known she'd be angry but
then, he hadn't made her angry in a while so it was about time.
Hearing her rise from her bunk behind her partition, Damar turned and
continued his search for the med kit.

"I don't believe this," Kira groused from behind him. Damar glanced at
her, seeing her wrapped in a robe and her hair messed from sleep. "You
went out in your uniform? And you didn't even bother to hide your
Legate's badge. Esorel, what were you thinking? How could you have
been so foolish?"

Damar ignored her as he opened a storage container. The movement made
his wound fiery.

"Getting in a firefight with the Jem'Hadar," Kira snapped. "And
getting injured. You could have been killed."

"So?" Damar grumbled. The storage container was empty and he closed
it.

"What do you mean, so?" Kira said as she moved through the cellar.

"If I die, I die," Damar said. "This doesn't ride on me anymore."

"Well, that's a very courageous sentiment," Garak said, "but you're
still necessary to this cause."

"I am," Damar agreed. "But not as necessary as before. You have no
idea how freeing it is to know that."

Kira opened another storage container and drew out the med kit.

"Sit down," she ordered Damar, pointing at his bunk. "And take off
your jacket. Garak, go get a clean cloth and some hot water."

Damar did as she asked, stripping off his jacket and black undershirt
to sit bare-chested on the bunk. He shivered in the chill air of the
cellar. Kira sat at his side and ran a medical scanner over his
shoulder.

"How could you have been so stupid?" Kira muttered in anger. "Here I
was thinking you actually a brain in that hard, bony head of yours.
Going out fighting the Jem'Hadar. Strolling about in your uniform.
Really, Esorel, what were you thinking?"

He let her vent as she tended his wound. Garak brought down a bowl of
water, and Kira washed away the blood covering Damar's shoulder, her
touch gentle and her voice stern.

"I had to do it," Damar said. "I needed it. And maybe now Garak's
propaganda won't feel like lies anymore."

"Well, I do realize that we go a bit overboard in our romanticism,"
Garak said defensively. "But everything the propagandists write about
you is based on the truth."

"The Legate Damar fights side by side with the common people?" Damar
shook his head. "That was never true but at least it is now."

"They meant that symbolically," Kira grumbled.

"I know, but it was still a lie."

Using a tissue regenerator, Kira sealed the wound and the pain faded.

"Thank you," Damar said to her, but she just glared at him as she
snapped the med kit closed. "I thought you'd understand."

"Understand what?" she snapped at him. "You going out and risking your
life for no reason then coming back here and acting as though it
wouldn't have mattered if you had died? Of course it matters! It
matters to me."

His heart skipped when she said that, but he didn't dare to hope. Her
eyes flashing with anger, she stood and put the med kit away.

"I'll take care of this," Garak said, picking up the blood-stained rag
and bowl of water.

As soon as Garak left, Kira rounded on Damar again. "You had no right
to do what you did. No right!"

"I had every right," Damar countered. "I had to do it, Nerys. I had
to. I was going insane being cooped up here all the time and having to
read that nonsense about what a great hero I am. "

"So you had to go out and prove what a great hero you are to
yourself," Kira sneered at him.

"It had nothing to do with that," he snarled. "Why can't you
understand that I had to get out and breath some fresh air and feel my
heart race again?"

"Why can't you understand that you don't have the right to risk your
life like that? Your people need you, Esorel. I need you."

He felt his heart beat skip again. "You do?"

For a moment, he thought that she was ignoring him as she tossed the
med kit into the storage container and slammed down the lid. Then the
anger faded from her eyes as she turned back to him.

"What do you think this has been all about?" she asked, her voice
quiet and steady. "I mean, you and me? Why did you think I wanted to
make love to you again and again? It's because you mean something to
me. I didn't want that to happen, but it did. I'm not pretending to
know what that something is, so don't your hopes up. But over these
past few weeks, I've depended on you, Esorel. I needed you. You think
it's been easy for me to be here, constantly surrounded by
Cardassians, never knowing which one will turn on me? I can't even
trust Garak."

"Garak's proven himself," Damar defended.

"You know don't know him like I do," Kira negated. "You can only trust
him to a point."

"But you trust me?"

Kira closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, Damar
felt as though he was looking at a sunrise.

"Yes," she said, taking a step towards him. "I can trust you enough to
feel relaxed around you. I don't feel like I have to have my guard up
all the time with you. You don't know how much I needed that here."

He took a step towards her. "You've done so much for me, Nerys. I'm
relieved to know that I do something for you. It feels good to be
needed by you. Being stuck here like a prisoner, I was feeling
useless."

"You're not useless to me," she said, moving until she close enough to
touch him.

"I've needed you, too."

"I'm glad to help."

"For today," he said. "You need me today. You're glad to help me
today. What about tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I don't know where we'll be tomorrow. All I know is
right now."

With that, Kira pressed against him and eagerly sought his mouth. The
feel of his mouth against hers and his arms around her finally soothed
the fear he had caused her. She hadn't realized how much she needed
him until the words came out of her mouth. With those words, she felt
less confused about him. She wished she could promise him tomorrow and
have him in her arms for the rest of her days. But she knew better.

Only when Garak came down the stairs did Kira and Damar reluctantly
part.

"Don't mind me," Garak said lightly as he went to the comm unit.

Kira wished she could take Garak at his word and take Damar behind the
partition with her. Suppressing a yawn, Damar laid down on his bunk
and closed his eyes. With nothing to do, Kira sat down at the
computer. Curious, she accessed Damar's files and looked over his
notes. It amused her how radical he had become. From his writings, it
looked as though he really was taking his alternate universe
counterpart seriously by considering a free enterprise system for
Cardassia. She wasn't sure Cardassia was going to be ready for their
liberal-minded leader once the war was over.

"At last," Garak suddenly breathed from his place at the comm unit.

"What is it?" Kira asked, turning on the stool towards him. Behind
her, she heard Damar stir.

"I've just received word," Garak replied, gesturing to the screen.
"The Federation Alliance will be attacking the Dominion lines tomorrow
morning."

"Thank the Prophets," Kira said as relief poured into her. Going to
Garak's side, she leaned in to study the data. Finally, the Federation
was on the move again. Damar stood, moving to her with a frown on his
face.

"It looks as though it will be an all out assault," he muttered from
over Kira's shoulder. "They're committing everything to this."

"With the winner taking all," Garak said. "Imagine it. The war could
be over by tomorrow night."

"Let's hope so," Kira said, "and that we'll be on the winning side. It
looks like the Dominion doesn't know about this assault, yet. I'd hate
for the surprise to be ruined."

"If they do," Garak told her, "they haven't learned it from my
operatives. Though it will be difficult to hide a fleet of that size
from them much longer. I doubt the assault will be much of surprise."

Kira glanced back to see Damar staring at the screen, his eyes
intensely troubled.

"What's wrong?" she asked, wondering why he wasn't pleased by the
news.

"Nothing," he muttered, but he didn't have to speak. Kira guessed it
as she reached out to grip his arm in encouragement. She may have
forgotten, and perhaps so had Garak, but Damar had not. It was not
just Dominion lines the Alliance fleets were to attack early the next
morning. Cardassian territory would be under direct threat, and
Cardassian troops would be dying, fighting against the very force that
could free them from the Dominion. Kira's hand tightened on Damar's
arm.

For Damar, the assault would come too soon. He had not succeeded in
his goal of turning the military against the Dominion. Looking at him,
their eyes met, mirroring each other's resolution and courage.

"Contact the cells, Garak," Damar said quietly, not looking away from
Kira. "Let them know that civil war is at hand."

---

The End