The BLTS Archive - What's Love... by melanie (melanie@skynet.ca) --- For Stephane, who wanted this story. Hopefully it lives up to our conversations. I still can't believe I wrote a Seven story. *sigh. What's the Universe coming to? Note: The story refers to events in episodes "Elogium," "Deadlock," Threshold," "Microcosm," "Day of Honour,""The Raven," "Dark Frontier," "Bliss," "Someone to Watch Over Me," "One Small Step," and "Pathfinder." Disclaimer: Theirs, not mine, wish they were, but they're not, etc., etc., don't sue. --- Seven was at it again. She knew she should not be. The Captain previously had "called her in on the carpet over it" as the EMH had termed it. In no uncertain terms was she supposed to be continuing what she was doing, but she could not abandon her research, not when she knew she was close to a major break through. The idea that she just was being nosy never occurred to her. Any of the crew would have informed her this was her malady -- had she permitted any of them to know what she was doing. Only she did not reveal her activities to even one of them. On a ship the size of Voyager, once anyone knew anything, eventually everyone knew it and she did not wish to risk her subjects hearing she had continued to monitor them. The results of her research already were corrupted by their discovering her observation of them months earlier. So, after the Captain's dressing down, she had resumed her research, but with more stealth this time. A small string of code added to the internal sensors' programmes and suddenly everything her subjects did during the day or night was recorded for her later review when she was alone in her cargo bay. That was what she was doing now to the events currently occurring on Deck Nine, Section Twelve. "What?" B'Elanna Torres was gasping at her lover. "Where'd that idea come from?" "A few weeks ago, when-" Tom Paris grimaced. "When I saw the Doc's projections that said everyone on Deck Five was pregnant." "Spreading that particular rumour was not one of your finer moments." "But it got me thinking about children." "What about them?" "About us having them." "Us? As in you and me?" "No, me and Neelix. Of course you and me." "Tom... I don't know what to say." "What's there to say?" "'What's there to say?' Tom, there's a Hell of a lot to say. You're suggesting we have children." "Yes, I am." "Tom, I hardly had the best of role models. I don't think I know how to be a parent." "No one instinctively knows how to be a parent, B'Elanna. You learn as you go along. That's why most species come out as tiny, helpless things. You're given time to learn a bit so that by the time they're older you have a better handle on the parenting thing. You don't need to be perfect right from the start." "But Voyager's too dangerous to bring a child. Always getting attacked or exposed to dangerous radiation or whatever. We have a tough enough time protecting ourselves. To have to look after a child too...." "Sam Wildman seems to manage okay." "Ensign Wildman has Neelix to help her and-" "And the entire to crew as well. Just like any children of ours would. And there's two of us. Sam's a single parent. Our child has Naomi beat right from the get go. Two parents there all the time. Naomi's father's in the Alpha Quadrant. I don't even know if he knows he has a daughter. He knows he and Sam had been trying to have Naomi, but maybe not that they were successful." "That's my point. Sam had no real choice about bringing Naomi into the Universe. She already was pregnant with her when Voyager was brought to the Delta Quadrant. She and her husband had been trying to have her for some time. Then we're thrown so far from home that we were never liable to see our family or friends or anything familiar in our lifetime. When she found out about Naomi, we all were trying to adjust to life here and missing home and Naomi was a piece of home." Tom was about to comment when she cut him off. "Putting Naomi and her mother aside, I've found a career and, for the first time in my life, I'm know what I want to do with my life and am doing it. I don't want to lose any of that." "Having a child won't jeopardize your career. This isn't the Twentieth Century." He shook his head. "It's one of the few things I don't admire about that time period in Earth's history. Back then, a woman with children and a career was penalized for trying to have both at the same time. Maternity leave was viewed as a hindrance to the entire staff's productivity and a scheduling headache to cover the duties of the mother while she was away from the job. Co-workers, especially males, couldn't understand the fuss that was being made just because some woman decided the alarm on her biological clock was shrieking at her or she and her partner forgot to use some method birth control." "That was back then. This-" "Is the Twenty-fourth Century, yes, and we're more enlightened and ninety-nine percent of all pregnancies are planned unless there's some intervention that negates the birth control implants. But some of the problems still are the same. Pressures of work versus being there for the child when it's sick or has a school function or whatever. Guilt over using day care and permitting someone else be the primary caregiver during the child's formative years. If any of that's what's worrying you, remember we're on Voyager. Our work is right here on the ship, not some station or ship light years away. We'll never be far from our child." "We don't have a day care. Someone still would have to be with it until it was old enough to begin school like Naomi Wildman has." "Then I can be the primary caregiver if you'd rather not be. There are plenty of pilots. I can cut back on my shifts on the Bridge and in Sickbay. The Captain will agree to that. You can have as much or as little time away from Engineering to be with the baby as you'd like." "Need I remind you that you didn't have the best role models either. Your overbearing father? True, his message to you did seem to have genuine feelings, but that doesn't cancel out how hard he pushed you or ignored you. And your mother? You never mention her at all. How much does that say about her impact as a parent?" "My mother was great mother *and* she had a career. It's just my father...When I was growing up... I always knew my mother was there for me. I always knew she loved me. She was pleased with me no matter what grades I got or what activities I did. My father... He was the one I had to please. He may have been overbearing, but..." Tom frowned to himself. "He wasn't that way with Moira or Kathleen. Just me. I think he thought he was doing it for my own good. To toughen me up. Must have known I needed it." Tom came back to her with a shake of his head. "But I know different, B'Elanna. I know I don't have to be as hard on my children as my father was on me. You're half-Klingon," he grinned. "The children will inherit a temper that'll keep them from being weak." "Just because someone has a temper doesn't mean they can't be weak, Tom. And you're not weak yourself. I doubt you ever were. As for everything you're saying, it's a moot point. You said it yourself. I'm half-Klingon. The chances are we won't be able to have kids. Not without major medical intervention that might not even work anyway." "But I've researched it and your being *half*-Klingon actually works in our favour. We might not even need the Doc's help. And if we do, your half-Klingon side still will improve the chances of your carrying the child to term." "You researched this before talking to me?!" she angrily demanded. "That explains the strange looks the Doctor's been giving me." "If the Doc's giving you strange looks, there must be another reason because he can't know about my research. I never told him and he wasn't in my quarters at the time I did it." "Regardless, I still don't think we're ready for a child. We're... We're not even married." "Is that what you want? To get married? If so, we can go to the Captain right now and ask her if she'll marry us." "Just like that?" she spluttered. "B'Elanna, we're practically married now." "Practically isn't the same as actually being it." "B'Elanna, I love you. You love me. We confide in each other. We spend most of our free time together. Hell, we keep our neighbours up most of the night thanks to these thin walls. How much more do married people do than we do?" "They live together." "Not all married couples do. My parents often were separated for months at a time while my father was off on missions on one starship or another. They seemed to have a solid marriage." "Well... I think a married couple should live together." "Fine, your quarters or mine?" "What?" "You want me to move in here with you or you to move in with me? Makes no difference to me really. A couple more minutes to get to the Bridge or Sickbay is nothing. Or would you rather we ask for bigger quarters somewhere else on the ship. That probably would make sense and give us room for the baby to have his or her own bedroom. We-" "I'm not ready for this conversation!" she shouted. "Your pressuring me to do something I don't want to do right now." "Why do I think that sentence should be finished with 'or ever?'" "I'm not ruling out the idea of us ever having children. I'm just saying right now isn't good for me." "I see." His voice was remote. "Tom," she pled, "I'm not rejecting the idea outright. I'm just rejecting it for now. We're both young. We have plenty of time. Maybe in a few years, it'll be better timing, but right now it just isn't." Tom headed for the door. "Tom, where are you going?" "My quarters." "What about dinner?" "I'm not hungry." The doors swished open and closed again and he was alone. --- At her console in the cargo bay, Seven was thoughtful. She was remembering a time, months earlier. She and Ensign Paris had returned from an Away mission on the Delta Flyer. It had been a routine mission so the Captain had permitted Naomi Wildman to accompany them. With her acute hearing, she had heard one of the shuttlebay crew remark upon how paternal Ensign Paris had looked carrying the sleeping child from the ship. At the time, she had not contemplated the remark. Naturally, parenthood was a logical step in the evolution of his relationship with Lieutenant Torres though she would have considered him traditional enough to desire marriage first then children. However, having heard their conversation, she was revising her opinion of him. And she was revising her opinion of other things. She called up the ship's official logs and began researching something that interested her, but she had never investigated -- Naomi Wildman. --- Sam Wildman was engrossed in her novel when the door chimed. Groaning, she set the padd aside and called for the visitor to enter. "Oh, Seven. Naomi's not here. She's with Neelix." "It is you with whom I wish to speak, Ensign." Unbidden, Seven entered the Wildman sitting room. "What about?" Though her daughter spent almost as much time with this woman as she did with Neelix, Sam still did not know her very well herself. Certainly, they did not know each other well enough to have friendly chats. "Is it something about Naomi?" she asked, thinking she was the most likely topic of conversation. "Yes, it is." Sam settled back in her chair. "Have a seat." As awkwardly as ever, the former Borg lowered herself to a seated position on the couch next to Sam. "So what about Naomi?" "I wish to know why you gave birth to her." The mother's jaw dropped. "Pardon me?" "Voyager had just extricated itself from yet another perilous situation. Space dwelling life forms had mistaken Voyager for one of their own species and attempted to mate with it while another of that species had viewed Voyager as a rival and attacked it. It was one in a long series of near disasters and you had no reason to expect it would be the last. Why did you choose not to abort the foetus when you discovered you were pregnant? You were fully aware of the situation into which you were bringing your child. Why risk carrying Naomi to term when you knew that at any time Voyager could be destroyed and your child with it?" Anxious, Sam leaned forward a little. "Why are you asking, Seven? Has Naomi been asking questions?" "I am asking because I wish to know. I have not discussed this matter with Naomi Wildman." Relaxing a little, the ensign sat back. "Why did I bring Naomi into the Universe even though I knew she could be killed at anytime? Seven, that's the same uncertainty every parent has when they contemplate having a child, whether they are in a perilous situation or not. Granted, these days the infant mortality rate is so low that it's almost zero, but deaths do occur." Her words slowly petered out as her face fell. "You are thinking of the child to whom you gave birth." "Yes. That Naomi died and the duplicate Voyager's Harry Kim brought our Naomi here." "The duplicate Voyager's Naomi Wildman was not your daughter yet you still raised her." Surprised, Sam gaped at her. "She's my daughter, Seven. That anomaly duplicated all of us and Voyager. That included myself and my unborn child. So Naomi *is* mine. I may not have given birth to her, but she is mine just the same and I love her." Closing her eyes, she took a calming breath. "That is the answer to your question, Seven. I carried her to term because I loved her. Even before I saw her for the first time, even before I felt her kick for the first time, I loved her." "Why?" "Because she was mine and my husband's child. Greskrendtregk was back in the Alpha Quadrant, on Deep Space Nine, and I was stuck here, so far from him. Naomi was all I had left of him. She's a symbol of our love and I couldn't abort her." "How is a group of dividing cells a symbol of love?" "You're being technical. I'm talking emotions here. Emotions aren't technical. Certainly not logical either. My husband and I love each other. Greskrendtregk and I both wanted a child to share that love with. That's why we created Naomi and that's why I carried her to term and why,when the Naomi I gave birth to died, that I so willingly took her duplicate and I raised her as my own. She *is* my own." She groaned and rubbed her temples. "This is so complicated." "So despite the inherent dangers involved in her presence on this ship, you still decided inexplicable emotional bonds were more important than practical safety issues." "Put bluntly, yes." Sam dropped her hands from her head. "If Naomi didn't ask you any questions about this, why are you so interested in whether or not I was right in having her?" "I heard two crewmembers discussing children and Naomi Wildman's name was mentioned." "In the context of your question?" "Ensign?" "Did they think I was wrong to have her?" "If your decision was the correct one, why should anyone else's opinion matter?" "Because they might say something in front of Naomi some day." "They did not voice an opinion as to whether or not they felt you were incorrect in your decision. One merely stated Voyager was a dangerous location in which to consider raising offspring and the other reminded her that you were raising Naomi Wildman successfully." "So after hearing that, you came right her to ask me my reasoning for doing what I did?" "No. First, I considered their conversation. Then I did some research in to the status of Voyager during your pregnancy. Only then did I come here to attempt to understand your illogical course of action." Sam smiled and shook her head. "If you were a mother, then you'd understand. There's a bond that forms the moment you hear the doctor tell you you're pregnant. It's this realization that there's a new little person growing inside you. Yes, there are some people who would have looked at our lives here on Voyager, the uncertainty we always are facing and asked themselves some difficult questions. 'Will we be able to go through the day without being shot at by some hostile species that is claiming wherever we happen to be?' 'Will some microbe that sneaks through the biofilters on the transporters wipe us all out?' 'Will we finally die of leola root poisoning?' Don't tell Neelix I said that last one," she smiled. Seven nodded, not understanding why not, but not wishing to interrupt the Ensign's explanation by asking why not. "But there are people who, I'm sure, if they had found themselves in the same position I was in, would have taken a long hard look at everything and made the difficult decision to abort their child. I took that same hard look and chose to keep Naomi. And I haven't regretted a single moment of it. Yes, there are times I've had sleepless nights, worrying about her, but every parent has them. It's part of being a parent to worrying about your child's welfare." She gestured towards her guest. "Look at your own parents. They brought you all the way to the Delta Quadrant with them instead of leaving you with relatives or friends in the Alpha Quadrant. They had to have known it was dangerous, but they brought you with them anyway. Why'd they do that?" "I do not know." "You have their logs, right? Word was you retrieved them from your parents' ship over a year or so ago. Maybe you should see if they can answer your questions." A thoughtful look on her face, Seven nodded and rose just as the little girl they had been discussing bounded in and threw herself into her mother's arms, chattering incessantly at both of them. The huge smile on Sam's face as she listened to Naomi tell them all about the latest Flotter chapter brought a momentary flash of memory. Another blonde woman smiling indulgently, lovingly, like that. Annika Hansen's mother, Erin. The sudden memory was too much for Seven and she practically stumbled out of the quarters in her haste to depart. "What's wrong with Seven?" Naomi asked her mother. "She just has a lot on her mind, I think," Sam soothed. "And I think it's time for your bath then bed." She released her daughter and followed her into her bedroom. All the while she could not help but think how right she was to take the leap of faith of having Naomi. Even if she might lose her some day to one Delta Quadrant danger or another, her precious child was more than worth than the risks involved. --- Hours later, Seven found herself before the Captain's quarters' door, not really remembering the trip there or having pressed the announcer next to the doors. When she had returned to her cargo bay, she had done as Ensign Wildman had suggested and again reviewed her parents' journals, this time with an eye to any indications of their parenting abilities. What she found only threw her mind and suppressed emotions into more chaos and confusion. Here and there, she read little asides about how quickly Annika picked up this or that. A long entry had been made on how Annika had discovered for herself a theory of physics before either elder Hansen had taught it to her. All the indications were that Annika Hansen was much loved and adored by her parents and they never once regretted bringing their daughter with them on their solitary trip into unknown territory. She found herself wishing she could remember more about them and her childhood before the biggest danger in the Delta Quadrant had ripped her family apart -- the Borg. And so that had led her here to the Captain's quarters. She straightened her shoulders and entered when the Captain bade her to do so. The Captain was not alone. Both Tuvok and Commander Chakotay were present and had been in the midst of a meeting if the collection of padds and cups of beverages were anything to go by. "Captain... May I speak with you?" Nodding, the older woman motioned for her to assume the free chair nearest her. "What can I do for you?" "Perhaps we should go?" Chakotay ventured, making to rise and take Tuvok with him out of the quarters. "No, Commander," Seven insisted. "Your input would be valued also." Chakotay made himself comfortable once more. "So what's troubling you then?" For the second time that day, Seven lowered herself to the unaccustomed position of sitting. "I require clarification of a matter." Janeway raised an eyebrow. "What matter?" "Why Annika Hansen's parents risked bringing her with them to the Delta Quadrant when they knew, if they did encounter the Borg, they most probably would not have been be able to prevent themselves and her from being assimilated." All three of her listeners blinked in surprise. Janeway glanced the others then at Seven again. "What brought this question up?" "I overheard two crewmembers discussing procreation and one of the participants had reservations about whether it was a suitable course of action given Voyager's conditions and situation. Naomi Wildman's name was mentioned by the other participant as an example of the opposing view point. I spoke with Ensign Wildman, asked her reasoning for continuing with her pregnancy when she knew Voyager could be destroyed or captured at any time-" "Naomi was all she had left of her husband," Janeway murmured, remembering what Sam had told her all those years ago when the understandably emotional ensign had entered the Ready Room to inform her Captain of the pregnancy. "That was one of her justifications, yes. She suggested I review my parents' journals to see why they would willingly subject me to danger by bringing me with them to the Delta Quadrant. I did, though the journals were incomplete and... inconclusive. Ensign Wildman also said were I a mother, I would understand her motivations better. Do you believe she is correct in this statement?" "Not being a mother myself, I can't really say for certain." "But most of the crew regards you in an informal way as their pseudo-mother and Commander Chakotay as their pseudo-father." Chakotay hid a grin at the Captain's surprise at hearing it stated so bluntly. Often in their private conversations, they had jokingly referred to the crew as their "children," but this was the first time anyone other than the two of them actually had articulated the thought to their faces. "But that's not the same as actually being their parents," the Captain hedged. Resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, the First Officer leaned forwards. "Seven, on numerous occasions, the Captain and I have discussed the idea of the crew having children. Immediately prior to Ensign Wildman's announcement was the first time in fact. We knew that Voyager was a very long way from home and she'd need a replacement crew were she going to make it the seventy years it was going to take to get home. We know Voyager is a dangerous place, but having enough people capable to keep Voyager running will have to outweigh that danger if we are to get home." Seven raised an implant-covered eyebrow. "You are contemplating ordering the crew to begin procreation?" Janeway laid a hand on the flustered Chakotay's arm to silence him then turned to Seven to answer the question. "There is no immediate plan to do that, Seven. What the Commander is trying to say, is procreation, regardless of the uncertain future of this crew and any potential offspring, is not something we will actively discourage. Starfleet always has been very leery of any rules or regulations that might infringe on the individual's choices in personal matters. Unless those choices in some way endanger the ship or her crew, naturally." "But the need for a replacement crew still exists." "Perhaps we or Starfleet will come up with a way to shorten our journey even further. Look at how many years we've already knocked off of it. In five years we've travelled almost half the distance home. Tomorrow or the next day, we might find a wormhole or another catapult like device or something that might send us even closer to the Alpha Quadrant. Or Starfleet might find another way to open a wormhole only this time large enough and stable enough for Voyager to safely pass through. Or that information they sent us might lead to our discovering a way to get there ourselves. The possibilities are endless." "It is illogical to be relying upon something that might not occur, Captain." "Perhaps, but the need for a replacement crew is not as pressing as it once was. We have some more time to keep looking for a faster way home without having to resort to ordering the crew to start having children." "According to my studies of the species aboard Voyager, Captain, there are obvious difficulties inherent to procreation between certain species. Even with a pair comprised of the same species, conception, gestation, and delivery of a viable infant is not guaranteed. It would be advisable to begin genetic testing and partner assignment immediately to guarantee a replacement crew of sufficient size and age when it is needed. Maturation and instruction in what will be their assigned tasks when they must assume their duties will take many years. Beginning the process immediately would be judicious." Janeway and Chakotay shared a disbelieving laugh. The Commander was about to make a response when Tuvok interrupted him. "If I may, Commander?" At the other male's nod, Tuvok addressed Seven. "You are correct in your assessment, Seven. It would be judicious." The two superior officers attempted to object. The Vulcan overrode them. "However, you are discounting an important factor. Most species are not logical when it comes to matters concerning offspring. While you may see the practicality in any immediate efforts to provide a future crew for Voyager, the majority of the crew will not be so logical. Most species form a strong emotional attachment to their offspring either during the gestation process or after birth. It is a natural process intended to provide nutrition and protection for helpless newborns. If the parent or parents are bonded to the offspring, they will remain with it to provide for its needs until it's able to do for itself." "In the majority of evolved species," Seven observed, "that bond continues long after the offspring have matured." "That is correct. Therefore, any attempts by the Captain to order the crew to begin having offspring for the express purpose of providing a future crew will be met with refusal or, at the very least, resistance. Many species prefer to pick their own mate and set their own schedule for procreation. The Captain or anyone else informing them that not only will they have a child immediately, but that the other parent has been *assigned* according to genetic compatibility will cause widespread disapproval and opposition. The fact that given the circumstances, the actual conception most logically would occur via medical intervention will calm the crew somewhat though not entirely." "What about you, Commander?" He considered the question. "I already have children," he replied, not looking at her, but at a point somewhere short of her. "However, if the survival of this crew depended upon all hands contributing genetic material, then yes, I would have to participate." His eyes focused on her once more. "It would be with reservations, but I would do so for the continued stability of this ship and crew. Others would not feel such resignation and would resist complying." "But we still don't plan to do that any time soon, Seven," the Captain insisted. "I still think we will get home before long before we have need of that. And I would prefer we keep this discussion between the four of us. I'd prefer not to alarm the crew unnecessarily. They might start trying to pair off and have children out of desperation not to be forced to do so later." "You believe competition over the most desirable mates will cause conflict amongst the crew." "Conflict we can do without. If it does happen, then it will be a carefully planned, delicately handled affair as we can make it. Until then, nothing will be said about this. Understood?" Seven nodded sharply then headed for the door, only to be stopped by Tuvok's voice. "Is it safe to assume the two crewmembers you overheard discussing children were Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Paris?" Chakotay's jaw dropped. "Why would you say that?" "There are a limited number of couples aboard Voyager. At last count, three pairs who were openly engaged in a relationship and four others who are suspected to be dating exclusively. Of the former three, only Ensign Paris has displayed any interest in Naomi Wildman." "What's that have to do with-" "It would be expected anyone contemplating children would exhibit an interest in the only child aboard Voyager." "Tom and B'Elanna having children?" the Captain whispered then smiled to herself. "I never said they were the individuals I overheard," Seven pointed out and left the three of them wondering who it could have been if not them. --- "Hi, Seven." Seven glanced over her shoulder towards the door to Astrometrics then back at her console. "Naomi Wildman." "Are you feeling better today?" the child asked, sidling up to her. "'Feeling better?'" "You didn't seem to be yourself last night when you were in our quarters. Mom said you had a lot on your mind." "I did, that is correct." "What was it? Maybe I can help you figure it out? Mom always says it's good to talk things out when you have something on your mind. Makes you feel better." Seven looked down at her, considering. Ensign Wildman had been adamant that Naomi Wildman not be told of Seven's questions, that it would hurt her. The idea that answering the child's question truthfully would harm her emotionally prevented Seven from blurting out the truth or the question she wanted to ask her. "Do you wish your mother had not had you given all the danger she placed you in by doing so?" Instead, she returned to her work. "You cannot assist me." Naomi touched her hand. "Seven?" She glanced back down at her. The little girl was crooking a finger at her in a sign Seven had learned meant she was supposed to bend down. She leaned over and instead of the child whispering something to her as expected, Naomi threw her arms around the woman's neck and hugged her. Just as Naomi was about to release the unresponsive Seven, she instead was encircled by two strong arms and hugged back. They broke apart when Naomi's combadge chirped "You are late for your lessons, Miss Wildman," the EMH's impatient voice filled Astrometrics. "Sorry, Doctor. I'm on my way." She gave Seven a smile and ran out. For a long time, Seven stared after her, remembering more snippets of her own parents interspersed with things the others she had consulted or overheard had said. When she noticed she was standing there, doing nothing work related, she started guiltily. As she did she realized two things. One, Ensign Wildman's contention that "if you were a mother, then you'd understand" was echoing in her mind. And two, and possibly more significantly, both of her hands were pressed to the space low on her abdomen. The space right over where her child would grow were she to become a mother. ---- "Ensign, I wish to speak with you." Stifling a yawn, a blue-bathrobe-clad Tom watched Seven walk passed him and into his sitting room. "What time is it?" "It is 01h17." "01h17? Seven, can't this wait? I was asleep." "This will only take a moment, Ensign." "Fine. What?" She stuck her chin up. "I have been monitoring you and Lieutenant Torres." Groaning, Tom collapsed into the nearest chair. "Not again. The Captain-" "I am aware the Captain instructed me to cease and desist my research however I did not listen." "And what? B'Elanna's found out about it and is now chasing you with her bat'leth?" "Lieutenant Torres is unaware of my monitoring." "So why are you telling me then?" "I am informing you of my actions because I was listening last evening when you broached the subject of children with Lieutenant Torres and she refused your request." Tom was wide awake now, the realization dawning that there was only one way she could have known what had been said in B'Elanna's quarters. "You have B'Elanna's quarters bugged. The fluid conduits running through the walls conduct sound, but not that well. And we weren't loud enough for you to have heard us out in the corridor." "I have a programme that utilizes the internal sensors to gather information for my study, yes." "I want all your data, Seven," he demanded in a tone of voice she had never heard him use before. "*And* that programme. It was one thing when you were watching us in public. We were fair game there. But to watch us in our quarters... That's *not* going to continue. If it does and I find out about it, I'll be the one with the bat'leth. Got it?" "I already have removed the programme. I will forward the research data to you later. In the interim, I wish to discuss your desire to have offspring." "Seven, that is between B'Elanna and...." His eyes widened. "On the Bridge today... Chakotay was giving me weird looks and the Captain kept smiling at me. You told them what you heard, didn't you?" She detailed her inquiries following overhearing the lovers' conversation. "Regardless of what you said when you left, they still will suspect us to announce B'Elanna's pregnant some day soon. The Captain's probably already planning a baby shower." "Why would an infant that has not even been conceived require a shower?" "Never mind. From now on, keep what you hear to yourself until you learn the art of rumour dissemination, understood?" He slumped further in his chair. "This is a mess." "Ensign." "Go ahead. I can tell there's more. Just hit me with it." "After consideration of my discussions with the others regarding children, I have made a decision." "That assimilation, not sex, is the way to go? I'm liable to agree with you at this point." "The Borg method is less complicated, certainly, but no, I have decided that I wish to have a child and you to be the father." Tom blinked at her. "I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?" She did. "That's what I thought you said. Seven, where the Hell's this coming from?" "You expressed a desire for offspring. Lieutenant Torres is unwilling and possibly unable to provide you with said offspring. I consulted my medical file and I am physically capable of procreation with a minor adjustment to one of my Borg implants. Being human originally, I do not have the same difficulties with conception and sustaining the pregnancy to full term that Lieutenant Torres will undoubtedly have. The nanoprobes in my system are a concern, however I do not believe they will adversely effect any offspring. In actuality, they will be an asset to its biological processes. Furthermore, offspring of ours will be of above average intelligence, athletic ability, and attractiveness and-" "You're talking about the two of us having a child together, not outlining an scientific experiment!" Tom shot to his feet and began to pace. "It's... It's out of the question." "Why? You desire a child, as do I." "Yes, I want kids, but with B'Elanna." "She does not desire children at this time, if ever. I do." "There's a lot more to having kids than just they parents are willing to procreate. There's love for starters. I don't love you." "I am not requiring an emotional bond between us, Ensign. Any emotional bond would be between yourself and the child." "And yourself and the child, too, Seven." "Yes. Ensign Wildman and Commander Tuvok said such a bond would form either pre- or postnatal." "But an emotional bond between the parents would be important, too. Children learn in many ways, Seven. Observation is a big one. They start out learning how to interact with others by watching their parents interact with each other." "It would see us interacting as friends. Is that not how you would wish your child to interact with others? In a friendly manner?" "I'm glad you think of me as a friend, but friends implies a certain distance between people. *Family* is what parents teach the child. Family are closer than friends. They see each other from all sides, warts and all, not merely the surface level people let their friends see. For a child of ours to learn that, we would have to be a lot closer than friends and that won't ever happen because I love B'Elanna, not you. Besides, there's no way I'd cheat on B'Elanna by sleeping with anyone, just so I could have a child. I couldn't live with myself and she wouldn't let me live because she'd kill me." "I was not suggesting we copulate, Ensign. A simple combining of our genetic material by the Doctor would be sufficient. Nine months later, the offspring would be born and-" "And what? You take the baby back to Cargo Bay Two? There's a cheery place for the kid to spend his or her formative years. No, he or she would have to come with me, to my quarters." He shook his head to clear it. "We sound like we're making plans. Look, I want kids, yes, but this way just isn't going to work. Eventually, B'Elanna will decide she's ready to have children and we will. I can't picture her never having children." "You cannot picture *you* never having children, you mean." "Okay, that too, but one day, she'll change her mind. I'll can wait until then." "That is unfair to you and to me." "That's the way it has to be, Seven." "I see." "Seven, in the morning, go talk to the Captain again. Tell her what you told me. Okay, not the part about spying on B'Elanna and I, but the rest of it. But maybe she can explain to you why this isn't a good idea. Someone has to. Having children is not something one decides over night as you have. Children are a lifetime commitment for humans, not just an experiment you can undertake then abandon when you're tired of it or think you have enough info on the topic." "I would not-" "I'm not saying you would. I'm just pointing out that it wouldn't be an option. Our species doesn't come out of the womb already knowing how to do everything. It takes months or years before they can do even simple things like walking and talking and dressing themselves. You have to ask yourself if you can handle being frustrated by the repetition involved in teaching the child to do anything. And what if your child doesn't meet your expectations? He or she still will be yours to look after, yours and whomever the father is. You can't just pawn him or her back off on the father when you get bored. It would be unfair to subject that poor kid to the knowledge his or her mother didn't want him anymore because he or she had bored her." Sensing she was hurt by the truth he was saying, Tom sighed. "Seven, I'm not trying to be cruel here. I'm just trying to get you to be see all sides of this and basically it all comes down to one thing. The same thing you've been studying B'Elanna and I in an attempt to define." "And what is that, Ensign?" "Love. You may call it studying interpersonal relationships or whatever, but what you're really doing is trying to quantify and qualify love. That's not something you can learn by watching someone else or having a child and expecting some sudden comprehension. Love's something you feel. You don't learn it, not the way you're going about it anyway. I have no doubt some sort of maternal bond would form between you and your child, but you have to put considerations of your child ahead of yourself. What you might get out of motherhood should be a secondary concern. The child has to be, deserves to be, the primary importance. You can't just have a child because you're curious about emotional bonds. Or because someone told you that you'd understand something better if you were a mother. You have to have a child for better reasons than those. Understand?" "When I came aboard Voyager, you told me if there was anyway you could help me adjust to your life here on Voyager, I was to ask you." "Seven, having a child with you goes beyond helping you adjust." Saying nothing, she walked out. After collecting a cup of warm milk from the replicator, Tom Paris was about to return to bed when the doors opened and B'Elanna walked in. "Can we talk?" she asked hesitantly. Sighing, Tom nodded and said nothing of his previous visitor or her purpose in being there. --- "Seven? It is 04h33. What are you doing in here?" Blanking the computer screen, Seven turned to the EMH. "I was checking this room's systems." "Is there something wrong?" The Doctor stepped further into the small storage room that was next door to Sickbay. He visually inspected the stasis unit that preserved tissue samples from every member of Voyager's crew, including some who no longer with them in any other form than the collection of cells and genetic scans that were safely archived in this tiny room. "No. I have a theory for improving power output to this deck and have been verifying that the systems on this deck are in working order before suggest to Engineering that the changes be implemented." Smiling knowingly, he nodded. "I heard about the chewing out Lieutenant Torres gave you after you attempted to improve the computer core and wrecked havoc with the secondary systems." She did not answer. "So, you're making sure none of that will happen this time before you try improving things again? Good thinking. I'd hate for anything to happen to these." He gestured to the stasis unit. "With the calamities this crew gets itself into, we never knew when we'll need a sample of their original DNA on file. Warp 10 experiments turning Mr. Paris and Captain Janeway into giant salamanders. Microviruses infecting the crew then mutating into enormous monsters. I've found on Voyager there are times when an unadulterated sample of someone's DNA would be highly advantageous." "If you will excuse me?" she asked impatiently. "I need to complete my test before I can move on and your mobile emitter may interfere with my readings." He collected a small box from a shelf. "Well, then, carry on. I'll return to Sickbay." Seven waited until she was alone before she opened the toolkit she had brought with her. From within, she extracted a small sample unit she had replicated earlier and set it on the shelf near her true objective for being in that room. She tapped a sequence into the control panel of the tissue archive's stasis unit and a slender rod slowly was extruded in response to her command. Hand wavering above it, though not touching it, she stared at it. 'It will be so simple,' she thought. 'Transfer enough of the material to the sample unit. Return to Cargo Bay Two. Inject myself with the proper dosage of chemicals to stimulate ovulation then impregnate myself. No need for anyone other than myself to be involved until confirmation of the pregnancy must be made. 'But then the Doctor will identify the foetus' father and inform him of her condition.' She had checked the regulations and she was within her legal rights to demand the Doctor not inform the father, but only within a very specific set of circumstances, none of which applied to her situation. 'Tom Paris will have to be told then, but he cannot legally demand I abort the child, despite his earlier refusal to agree to the conception. In time, he will see I am correct in ignoring his wishes. Once the baby is born and he has bonded with it, he will be forget his resistance. All it will take is a small portion of his DNA and a few hours and I will be a mother like Ensign Wildman and....' A long moment's consideration later and her hand moved again, not towards the rod, but the control panel. She tapped out a command and the rod sunk back into the archive. Distancing herself from the temptation, she stowed the sample unit in the kit she slung over her shoulder then turned to leave and stopped dead. Standing far enough into the room for the doors to slide closed was Tom Paris. In her contemplation, she had not heard the doors open. "What changed your mind?" he asked in a calm voice. "How did you...?" "Know you were here? The ship's computer. When I calmed down enough, I remembered you have a tendency to ignore anything you don't like and do what you want anyway. I worried you'd seek out some other male to be the father of your child." "And you wanted to prevent me from doing so?" "You were getting ready to make a big mistake, for the child and yourself. Others might not have seen the potential trouble in what you wanted to do. I couldn't let that happen." He gestured to the archive. "I forgot all about those samples until the computer said you were here. Do I have to guess whose sample you were going to take? "Some of yours." "I thought as much. Even after I told you 'no?'" She had the good graces to look a tiny bit shamefaced. A hardness came into his eyes. "You may get away with a lot things on this ship, Seven, things anyone else would be officially reprimanded for, but if you had gone through with what you had been planning to here... Let's just leave it at I'm glad you changed your mind." He blinked and the look was gone. "So what did change your mind?" "When I went to take the sample I knew that in a few short hours I would be a mother-to-be." "And?" "And I thought about the only maternal individuals I have ever seen. Ensign Wildman. Captain Janeway. Erin Hansen," she whispered, but he heard it. "I knew I would be unable to emulate them and it was quite possible you had been correct in my motivations in this matter. Therefore, I decided against my chosen course of action and motherhood in general." "Seven... No, you'll never be Sam Wildman or the Captain or your mother. You'll always be you. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't ever have kids. Just wait awhile. You still have a lot to learn about yourself and life outside of the Collective. You're still growing up. Don't rush it. Besides, tomorrow you might meet someone and fall hopelessly in love and decide to have a dozen kids together." She gave him a patronizing glare. "Don't dismiss it. It might happen. Look at B'Elanna and me. If anyone told me years ago that we'd be together and thinking of kids, I'd have laughed in their face. But it we are." "Except there will be no offspring." "I don't know about that," he said enigmatically. "You weren't my only visitor tonight. The other one is asleep in my quarters right now." "A rapprochement has been reached between you and Lieutenant Torres?" "To a degree. She agrees not to totally dismiss the idea of kids and I agree not to pressure her. Maybe one day there will be a little Torres-Paris to come harass Auntie Seven in Astrometrics." "Auntie Seven? I refuse to be known by any such designation, Ensign," she insisted, sweeping passed him. Tom grinned and followed her out. --- The End