The BLTS Archive - To Tell The Truth
#6: M'Nea Madeleine
by melanie (melanie@skynet.ca)

---

Notes:

1)As witnessed above, this is part 6 of the series.  "Spirit Guide,"
"Parole," "Togetherness," "Sunfire," and "Turning Point" precede this
one and must be read to understand the majority of what the Heck's
going on.  Enjoy.

2)Yes, I know Jeri Taylor's "Pathways" said Chakotay's spirit guide
was a ____ (I won't ruin it for those who have not read it yet) but
Janeway once guessed it was a wolf and I like it much better so I'm
keeping it.

3)No, the Kieran in this story is NOT the Kieran kid from the end of
"11:59".  His first name is courtesy of a customer at work and I'd
included it LONG before the kid's name came up in ST:Vgr.  Talk to me
about my paranoia sometime and you'll get an earful.

4) One of the incidents in this story occurs during the TNG episode
"The Neutral Zone" -- three 20th Century humans are awoken from their
cryogenic sleep just as the Enterprise is called to investigate the
disappearance of bases along the Federation-Romulan Neutral Zone. The
Romulan ship was not named as far as I have been able to discover --
if it was tell me please -- so I've given it the name Kaleh.

Thanks to:
The betas: Stephane and P.J. in NH.

Stephane, Maaike, P.J. (Junior), and Niels for the obvious reasons.

And especially to everyone who's taken the time to send feedback
and/or nag (not naming any names, Sass, Stephane, Matthew, Rosemarie
and nagging hall of famers Rook and Tracy) for the next part.  Thanks.

Disclaimer:  The usual: theirs, not mine, wish they were, but they're
not, etc., etc., don't sue.

---

"Sunbird?  You want to talk about it?"

It had been four hours since they had so abruptly left Voyager.  In
all that time, Tom Paris had said nothing to Sunfire other than "Set
course for New Rachar.  Maximum warp."  Those words had been said only
seconds after he had asked her to beam him over from Voyager's Bridge
and once the order had been given, he had retreated to his lab and his
project therein and not spoken since.  She could not take the silence
any longer.

"Sunbird, maybe I can help?"

"No, you can't," he dismissed angrily, the tool in his hand nearly
snapping.  "No one can help!"

"Sunbird-"

"Just leave me alone!"

"No.  I'm worried about you.  What happened on Voyager?  Why did we
leave so suddenly?  Why aren't they coming with us to New Rachar right
away."

How she regretted not listening in to what had been unfolding on
Voyager after she and the rescue team and Tom and the two Rachar on
the former Gherop ship had rendezvoused with Voyager.  But, as Tuvok
had explained to her on the trip back to the nebula where Voyager was
hidden, most of Voyager's crew were uncomfortable with the idea of her
being tapped into their ship's internal sensors.  He had understood it
was habitual for her to interface with another ship.  Her AlphaOmegan
training had made collecting intelligence second nature to her.  Then
there was her being confined to an existence as a sentient creature
trapped inside a piece of machinery after having been organic for most
of her life.  She easily became lonely and craved conversation with
other organics, even if she only was listening in to what they were
saying or doing, not participating.  The temptation to interface with
Voyager and her crew was so great even the long years of self-control
training her organic self had received was not enough.  But she had
exercised her control to the utmost and look what had happened.
Something huge had transpired and she was at a loss as to what.  All
she knew was Tom was hurting and it was breaking her metaphorical
heart to see it.

"Voyager isn't coming," Tom bit out.  "Ever.  I've resigned my field
commission and left Voyager for good."

"What?  Why?"

He was silent and stiffly erect for a long time then he slumped to a
seated position on the deck and leaned against the workbench.  "The
Captain refused the Rachar's request for replicators."

"Well, I can understand that.  She's Starfleet.  They have to follow
rules we don't always have to."

"Rules she tends to adhere to or disregard seemingly at will.  When it
suits *her* purpose, *her* needs or desires or scientific curiosity
*then* the rulebook flies right out the airlock.  But when it's anyone
else, forget it."

"So you got ticked off at her for refusing to bend the rules for you
like she does for herself and left?  I don't buy that.  There has to
be more than just you feeling slighted."

"What more do you want?  I ask her for help for these people who have
lost everything and have to start all over from scratch.  People who
have endured terrible atrocities at the hands of the Gherop, have gone
from a spacefaring species to slaves, have seen their world and most
of its population destroyed.  I asked her for help for them, to ignore
the rules just one more time, and she turned me down flat.  You
honestly think I'd stay after that?  With the way they'd been treating
me lately?  Even after I saved their lives yet again?  Forget it."

"There's still more though, isn't there?  The Rachar left some hours
before we did.  What were you doing for all that time?  Arguing with
Janeway?"

"I was unconscious in Sickbay.  The Doc had to fix me up properly
after all the injuries I'd sustained over the passed few days."  He
shook his head.  "And Sme and Mksa didn't even stay long enough to say
a proper goodbye to me when I awoke.  Obviously, they were too angry
or disappointed to stay."

"So you resigned your field commission and left Voyager for good as
some sort of protest to Janeway or appeasement to the Rachar who
weren't even there to see it happen?  Yeah, that makes a whole lot of
sense, Sunbird.  Way to tell them!"  Sarcasm dripped from every word.

He mumbled something into his updrawn knees.

"What?"

"B'Elanna and Harry are having an affair," he whispered, leaning his
head back against the bench and at last being honest with both himself
and her.  "I left because they slept together while I was in Sickbay
recovering and who knows how many other times.  If I'd stayed I'd just
be putting all of us through too much pain."

"I don't...."

"When I woke up, the Doc said she wanted to see me.  I... I just
wasn't ready to see her.  I figured it would just be more of the same
accusations, more of the 'how could you do something like what you
did's.  When I found out it wasn't that, but to tell me about her and
Harry, I couldn't stay.  To have to see the two of them day after day,
knowing if I hadn't been in the picture in the first place they would
have been together long ago.  Knowing she chose him over me.  Knowing
I can't ever be with her ever again, that I'll be alone for the rest
of my life.... I just couldn't... handle that, so I left.  It's easier
that way for all of us."

"So what?  They just blurted this out to you?  A man still recovering
from surgery?  Gee, why didn't they just interrupt the surgery to wake
you and tell you?"  More sarcasm that he missed.

"They never did tell me.  They didn't have to.  I saw them."

"What?!"

"I heard about something that supposedly had happened between the two
of them months ago and I went to see Harry about it.  When he opened
the door it was obvious he was just out of bed and she was there just
getting dressed."

"What did they say?  I hope they grovelled at your feet, asking for
forgiveness."

"I don't think Harry even knew I was there, he was so tired.  And I
doubt she ever saw me.  She was too busy dressing, but I saw her.
I... I couldn't say anything.  I just left.  I didn't... I didn't want
to get into it with them.  I really didn't want to hear how sorry they
are or how they didn't expect this to happen or want this to happen,
but it did.  Or how they never wanted to hurt me or whatever the usual
platitudes are."  His eyes closed and his head dropped back to his
knees.  "I just couldn't have taken it," he whispered.  "I love them
both so much and they just forget about me like I was never important
to them."  He gave a little sob.  "And I thought she and I were mates.
No, we'd never taken the Oath yet so we weren't bond together by
blood, but I thought the emotional bond was there.  It seems I was
wrong.  It wasn't as strong as I'd thought or else how could she have
gone from me to Harry so easily?"

She was at a loss for something to say or do.  Yet again she cursed
the tritanium hull that had kept her alive yet prevented her from
taking this man she loved so dearly into her arms to hold him when he
needed her the most.

Then her sensors saw something that sent all regrets and curses out of
her head.

"Oh, no."

"You can't tell me 'no' they didn't love me too because I'm sure they
did.  At least I thought they did."

"No, Sunbird, I'm not talking about them.  You'd better pull it back
together and get up to the Bridge now!  We have a major problem."

His self-pity vanished as the adrenaline flow provoked by her words
coursed through his veins.  Quickly, Tom picked himself up off of the
deck, his mask of calm and focus falling back into place as he did.
"What is it?" he asked, running down the corridor and into the
turbolift.

"A Gherop warp trail and very recent.  I'd say a few hours old at
most."

"So?  Mksa and Sme were flying a Gherop ship.  It could be them."

"It's not their trail," she rejected as he entered the Bridge and took
his seat at the Helm.  The moment he was seated, she showed him a scan
of the two trails, highlighting the differences between the two.

Nodding, he began tapping controls.  "What's the new ship's heading?"

"Towards New Rachar.  We'll intercept their trail in one minute and-
No."

"What?"  Tom consulted the sensor read outs and saw what she was
seeing.  "No!  Please, no."

Less than three minutes later they found his prayer had been for
nought.  Floating lifeless in space was Sme and Mksa's ship, heavily
damaged.

Tom swore as he brought them to a halt beside the wreckage.  "Scan for
lifesigns," he ordered, even though he could tell it was doubtful
anyone could have survived the bombardment.  The Gherop ship he, Sme,
and Mksa had brought to Voyager so they could ferry the supplies back
to New Rachar was in about three large pieces and dozens of smaller
ones.

"I've found them, Sunbird," Sunfire said quietly.

"Alive?"  The single word was filled with surprise and hope.

"No."  The main viewer blinked as the magnification increased.
Floating in a macabre ballet were two very familiar Rachar corpses.
"They must have been blown out when the Bridge section was breached."

Tom said nothing.  Only hours ago they had been alive and anxious to
get what supplies they could from Voyager so they could return to
their new home.  Now they were dead.

"The weapons signatures are Gherop."

"Find them," he bit out.

"Their trail leads straight for New Rachar."

"Beam the supplies aboard."

There was a pause then the ship indicated it was done.

Tom tapped out the command to resume course to New Rachar.  As they
began to streak away, he fired Sunfire's phasers at the wreckage,
obliterating it so there was no trace of his friends or their ship.

---

Commander Chakotay unzipped his uniform jacket, but that was as far as
he got in his undressing.  Exhausted, he collapsed onto his quarters'
couch.  All he wanted to do right now was go to sleep, only he knew he
could not just yet.

"Computer, set alarm for four hours from now and play back personal
log entry from this morning."

There was a beep and the computer began to fulfil his request to hear
his own version of the beginning of the dark day when life on Voyager
suddenly spun out of control for so many aboard her yet again.

"'Still no word from Sunfire,'" the echo of his own voice sighed.
"It's been three days and nothing from Tuvok, Kim, the Doctor or
Neelix.  Kathryn's this close to taking us out of this nebula --
repairs completed or not, danger of detection by the Gherop or not.
I'm sure she's thinking of going to Rachar to see what's become of the
rescue party.  But Sunfire was adamant she would have no problems
making it back there with our crewmembers then back here.  She said
she had been sufficiently repaired to do so without incident.  But the
longer they're gone, without word, I am beginning to agree with the
Captain that they might be in trouble.  Whether it's Sunfire
experiencing more difficulties like her cloak going offline again and
the Gherop seeing her in orbit, or the Away Team running into trouble
as they search the collapsed tunnel for Tom Paris' corpse or his
trapped live body, I don't know.  I just wish we'd hear something
before the Captain goes crazy with guilt and worry over having left
Paris behind when he might not actually be dead or a distraught
B'Elanna forces Kathryn's hand and makes us go back there after him
and the rescuers.'"

There was a beep signalling the end of the log.

"Computer, begin recording.  Personal log supplemental."  He paused to
gather his thoughts.  "Another day, another encounter with the Gherop.
This time at least we detected them in time to evade them, but in
doing so we blew some secondary relays Engineering still hadn't had
the chance to finish fixing after the last confrontation.  When they
went, they did enough damage that we had to drop out of warp and now
we're at full stop and will be until Engineering fixes the problem and
brings the engines back online.  And if B'Elanna had her way, that
would be five seconds before it happened.  Not that anyone's blaming
her for her desperation to fix things.  Scrambling to hold Voyager
together while we were trying to avoid yet another attack, only to
find out when it's all over that Paris had resigned his field
commission and left the ship minutes before the Gherop ship came into
sensor range, has been hard on her."

He paused.  "Actually, now that I think of it, she didn't exactly
react the way I had expected her to.  When we'd shaken the Gherop and
Engineering had to take the warp engines offline, I volunteered to go
down to Engineering to get a progress report.  Naturally, the Captain
started to object.  It's her ship after all and she always wants the
reports first hand.  She conceded though when I took her aside and
told her I wanted to be the one to break the news about Paris to
B'Elanna before someone in the ship's grapevine risked his or her life
and told her."

Chakotay sighed and covered his face with his hands.  "I really wish I
hadn't reminded Kathryn of his leaving us.  I think that's the reason
why she took to her Ready Room after I returned with the bad news
about the ETA for repairs to the engines.  Even now, she's still in
there, obsessing about what she did and did not do where Paris was
concerned. I don't know.  I've talked myself blue in the face and she
still won't snap out of it.  Maybe once she's had some sleep she'll
come to see there was nothing else she could have done given the
situation.

"As for B'Elanna," he continued, hands dropping lifelessly to his
sides, "all the way down to Deck Eleven, I'd expected her to either go
for my throat because I hadn't stopped him from leaving in time or
storm off to the Bridge to go for the Captain's throat instead.  But
she didn't.  She just... had this look on her face.  I can't describe
it.  It was... It was like she somehow already knew.  Maybe this
shared pain thing she's been experiencing since they re-bonded somehow
let her know he'd gone.  I don't know.  When I tried to question her,
Joe Carey showed up and took her off to look at some problem.  It was
plain he did it deliberately so she wouldn't have to talk about what
had happened.  And I can't really expect any different I guess.  He's
always had a soft spot for her and Paris.  I've noticed he tends to
look after her when she's having a bad time.  And today certainly
qualified as that.

"All in all it's been a horrible day all around.  Sunfire finally
returns from Rachar and with a Gherop ship in tow with Paris, the
Doctor, and two Rachar aboard.  We find out Paris *was* alive when we
left Rachar, not dead in the cave-in as the Captain had thought.  That
when Sunfire and her crew arrived at Rachar to find him or his body,
they found him leading the Rachar rebels in what was to be their final
attack on their Gherop masters.  Instead of rescuing him, the rescuers
were drawn into a desperate plan to save as many Rachar as possible
before this Gherop weapon destroyed the planet."

Chakotay's throat tightened at this point.  "According to Tuvok's
report, Paris gave Sunfire the order to seize all of the spaceworthy
Gherop ships and shuttles then pack as many Rachar -- and only Rachar,
no Gherop -- into the ships as possible and escape before it was too
late.  Thousands had to be left behind to die because there simply
wasn't the room to take them all.  Personally, I don't know if I could
have given such an order, but he apparently had no such problems and
the ship followed his instructions to the letter.  They packed in a
little over thirty thousand then left before the planet exploded.
Hours later, the survivors were deposited some distance away from
whatever was left of Rachar on what Tuvok calls a 'lushly forested
moon imaginatively dubbed New Rachar.'

"Of course, we didn't know of any of this until Sunfire and the Gherop
ship appeared.  When everyone beamed over, Paris led the two Rachar
into the Conference Room where the Captain and I waited and he pled
the case for aid for New Rachar.  They needed samples of certain foods
necessary to the Rachar's diet so they could start growing the crops
themselves.  That we could give them.  We had taken on what they
needed and more not long after we had reached Rachar and the Gherop
had not been able to take it back when they tried to seize the ship.
Also the Doctor came up with what amounts to vitamin supplements for
them to take until their first harvest, so they should survive
nutritionally speaking.

"The other thing Paris wanted for them though, the technological aid,
that was a problem.  He wanted to give them replicators, technology
their people didn't possess.  It would have taken Sunfire too long and
too much power to replicate enough for them.  So, while the Doctor
whisked Paris off to Sickbay to properly heal the multiple injuries
he'd suffered over the passed few days, the Captain wrestled with the
Prime Directive, trying to find a way around it so she could give them
what they wanted.  In the end, she couldn't find her way clear of it
and had to reject that part of their request.  The Rachar were very
philosophical about it.  They took what our rules allowed us to give
them and left.

"Paris, however, was not so accepting.  When he woke in Sickbay hours
later, Paris apparently was told by the Doctor the Rachar had gone and
under what circumstances and that both Megan Delaney and B'Elanna
wanted to see him.  He dressed and said he would see Megan on his way
to see the Captain. He made no mention of seeing B'Elanna.  That was
strange, but not totally unexpected considering how the two of them
had left things before the entire Rachar incident."

Chakotay was silent for a long moment, trying to sort out his mixed
feelings on the subject of B'Elanna and Paris' relationship and its
current state.  On the one hand, he was sad to see what Paris'
desertion had done to B'Elanna, but on the other, he secretly was glad
to see the back of the man.  He never really had thought Paris was
good enough for B'Elanna.  Everything they had found out about Paris'
past only seemed to prove him right.

But he could not shake the thoughts that Paris *had* made B'Elanna
happy for a very long time and, as horrifying as the things Paris had
done were, if things had gone according to The Protectors' plan,
Voyager would have ended up in the hands of the Maquis.  Having her
might have made the difference in the battle with the Cardassians, no
matter what Paris said to the contrary.  Of course, had their plan
gone off as intended, the Starfleet crew would be dead now.  The
thought of having missed out on knowing the good friends he had made
here, of Kathryn especially, that their lives would have had to have
been sacrificed for them to have had Voyager was hard for him to
accept.

The First Officer shook his head.  'No sense thinking about what ifs,'
he thought and returned to his log.

"There's this large block of time that's unaccounted for between
Paris' leaving Sickbay and arriving in the Ready Room to ask the
Captain to reverse her decision about the Prime Directive and the
Rachar. According to Sam Wildman, he appeared at her door, asking to
see Naomi to say goodbye because he was leaving Voyager.  This
apparently was *before* he came to Deck One, not after.  I've tried
pointing this out to Kathryn as proof he'd had his mind made up to go
long before she ever turned his request so she isn't to blame for his
leaving.  It doesn't seem to matter though."  He sighed.  "But that
much about his movements we can take as fact.

"There's some speculation about what he did in between those times
though.  Megan Delaney claims she never saw him or even knew he'd
woken up.  I've heard that a crewman -- I don't know who it is --
thinks he *might* have seen Paris exit Engineering as he was entering.
But it was in chaos right then because of a fire and some other
problems giving everyone troubles so he's not positive he actually did
see him. B'Elanna was there at the time, but she apparently doesn't
remember seeing Paris any more than anyone else does.  At the time,
she was so exhausted and consumed in her work that I'm not surprised
really.

"Once he's no longer needed for the repairs, I'll have Harry Kim look
into this mystery, more to satisfy my own curiosity more than anything
else.  If only I didn't have my hands so full running the ship in the
Captain's... absence as it were, I would do it myself.  But until she
snaps out of this depression she's fallen into, I'm in charge."  He
sighed heavily.  "Which means I should be sleeping right now, not
using up the four hours I've allotted myself to sleep with these
ramblings. Computer, end log."

Chakotay dragged his tired body off of the couch and towards his bed.
Wherever Paris was, he hoped the Hell he had put everyone here through
was worth it.

-------

It was not.

When Sunfire established orbit of New Rachar early the next morning,
it was a nearly lifeless moon they found.  The pieces of Tom's already
broken heart shattered as he saw the Eden he had left only a day and a
half earlier, destroyed.  The structures some ancient civilization had
abandoned long ago and had been serving as temporary shelters for the
displaced population were in ruins, if not gone entirely.  Huge swaths
of the former Eden were razed to the bedrock and most of what was left
was on fire or smouldering.  Only small pockets scattered here and
there over the surface were left untouched.  It was in these pockets
that Sunfire detected faint signs of life.

"They're too faint for me to zero in on them from up here," the ship
apologized.

Tom swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to action.  He
rushed to Sickbay, firing orders as he grabbed a medkit.  "I'll have
to beam down there and search with my tricorder."  He double-checked
that the one strapped to his wrist was fully operational then lowered
the sleeve of his sweater again.  "Once I've found them I'll do what I
can for them for the moment and have you beam them up to stasis.  I'll
finish treating them once I've found everyone who can be saved and
come back up here."

"Understood."

He slung the medkit over his shoulder.  "Okay, energize."

Tom had seen and done far worse in his life as an AlphaOmegan.  But
back then, The Protectors had not permitted him to have any emotional
response to any of those people or places.  Free of their controls, he
was able to experience the nightmare he found on the surface and have
it hit him as hard as it would anyone else.  What from orbit had
appeared to be isolated havens that had escaped the destruction of the
rest of the moon in reality were nothing of the sort.  True, the
vegetation still was there, but what it concealed was horrible.  As
Sunfire beamed him from one faint lifesign to another he found,
amongst the charred remains of the population, survivors for whom it
already was too late.  All were beyond medical care and the most he
could do was ease their suffering until they succumbed to their
injuries.  The pain of failure, of not having arrived in time to stop
all this, clawed at his insides as he went from one soon-to-be corpse
to another.

"Sunbird," Sunfire called as Tom knelt beside what was left of his
late friend Kni, "I've just found two more signals.  One of them is
strong."

"Beam me to them," his smoke- and emotion-roughed voice ordered.

There was the tingle of the site-to-site transport and he found
himself inside a partially collapsed building.  He consulted his
tricorder to assist him in his search only it hardly was necessary.
He could hear rasping breath coming from the next room and followed
his ears there. Lying huddled in a corner was what appeared to be a
purple, adult female and a small, purple child about the size of a
human toddler. The woman was cuddling the apparently uninjured child
to her right side and softly humming to her in between bouts of
terrible coughing.  As Tom hurried towards them he could see why she
coughed so.  The woman's entire left side was blackened -- what was
left of it.  Even before he consulted the tricorder to check the
extent of her injuries, he though it was amazing she continued to live
as injured as she was.

A movement of the child alerted the adult who held her that they no
longer were alone.  Ceasing her humming, the woman turned her charred
face towards Tom and he saw both eyes had been blinded.  By whatever
had burnt her flesh most likely.

"It's okay," he whispered in a voice far calmer than he felt after
seeing the tricorder's prediction of her dismal chances for survival.
"Sunfire, three to beam up straight to Sickbay."

"Acknowledged."

When they materialized on the ship, he saw Sunfire had been smart
enough to have the mother appear directly on the biobed.  Tom settled
the child, who he now saw was a little girl, on the floor next to some
blocks Sunfire suddenly made appear for the child to amuse herself
with while Tom worked on the female.

"I'm a friend," he assured the woman as he brought the medical arch up
over the bed.  "What happened here?"

"The Gherop came," the woman croaked in a weak voice.

"Why'd they do this?" he asked, inputting instructions into the arch.
"I thought they wanted the Rachar as slaves.  Why would they kill
everyone?  Destroy everything?"

"A lesson to their other slaves elsewhere.  So they will know
rebellion is useless.  The Gherop will just get them in the en-" She
broke off in a cough and he administered a hypospray to her neck to
ease her pain.

"Lie still," he counselled, reaching for an osteogenic stimulator.  "I
need to-"

"I'm going to die."

"Not if I can help it."

"No," she insisted weakly.  "I know it is my time.  Take care of my
daughter, Tom Paris."

"How did you know my name?" he gasped, not pausing in repairing her
skull fracture.

"I have heard of you.  We all did.  The brave offworlder who promised
to return to us very soon."

"But how did you know I was the same man?" he asked, ignoring the
"brave" part.

"You don't sound Rachar, but you speak our language.  And we knew you
would come back to us soon, Tom Paris, just as you said you would.
Now is 'soon.'"  She smiled, or at least attempted to.  "The brave
offworlder who saved us."

"I didn't save anyone.  I just changed the location of where they
died."

"You saved us," she repeated.  "Yes, we died, but we died a free
people.  We lived long enough to see the day we had dreamt of for so
long.  I die happy, Tom Paris, and I ask you not to forget that and to
take my child.  Promise me she always will know what I now know."

"Know what?"

"Freedom."

"I promise," he whispered then changed the subject, trying to keep her
talking, to keep her with him as her lifesigns faded despite his best
medical efforts.  "What's your name?  What's your daughter's?"

There was a heavy sigh as the breath left the woman on the table and
the dead eyes closed.

For five minutes, Tom tried frantically to revive her.  In the end, he
had to concede defeat and slowly keyed off the alarm indicating her
death then retracted the medical arch.

"What do you want me to do with the body?" the ship enquired quietly.

"Beam it back to the moon and break orbit," he instructed in a
monotone.

"Course?"

"Alpha Quadrant."

"In three days time that will take us through Gherop space unless we
go around."

"Engage cloak and go through."

"But if something goes wrong-"

"I said go through!"

"Aye, sir."

He turned from the biobed to look down at the child who was innocently
playing with her new toys in the corner, oblivious to the death of her
mother.  She caught him looking at her, giggled, and held out her
chubby arms to him in the universal sign of "pick me up, please."
Slowly, he went over and did just that as he heard the near silent
sound of the transporter behind him.  He did not have to glance back
to know the last but one Rachar was back on the moon with her fellow
dead.

"Hello," he greeted the child as she snuggled into his embrace with
the trusting nature all children seemed to have regardless of species.
"I'm Tom.  I guess I can't ask your name, huh?"

She burbled at him, playing with his hair and features.

"No, huh?  Okay.  How about you let me give you an exam and clean you
up?"  He laid her on the same biobed where her mother had expired only
moments before and began tugging off her shapeless garments.  "You
know, strictly speaking, you have the right to ask for a female doctor
or nurse to do this," he told the wiggling child, "but since Sunfire
and I are the only ones here and she's always watching and listening
anyway, that'll have to do, okay?"

More wiggling and nonsensical chattering was the answer he received.

The exam came out as surprisingly normal.  By some miracle the toddler
had escaped injury except for a couple of bruises here and there and a
superficial scratch.  Bath time and changing her clothes into some
Sunfire provided for her was an adventure for Tom who had never bathed
or dressed a small child before.  When he had become friends with
Naomi, she already was at the "I can dress and bathe myself, thank you
very much" stage.  Because of this, he had missed out on the joys of
water everywhere except where it was supposed to be or the game of
keep- away that ensued when he attempted to place a squirming leg into
a pant leg.  After forty-five minutes, he won the war only because his
opponent was tuckered out and needed a nap.  But a win was a win and
he took it.

"What are you going to do with her?" Sunfire whispered to him as he
carried the child to his quarters.

"Take her with us," Tom answered in a dead voice.  "Her mother
entrusted her to my care and I'm going to do exactly what she wanted
me to."  He laid his precious burden on the bunk and draped a blanket
over her.  "See she's safe and never a slave ever again."

"And do you think that's what's best for her?"

He sat on the bunk.  A smile almost formed as the toddler
instinctively wriggled towards him, seeking out his warmth.
Carefully, he scooped her up, wrapping the blanket around her and
settling her in his lap. She never woke.

"Sunbird?"

"What other choice do we have?  The Rachar are all gone."  His voice
cracked and he cleared his throat.  "I promised her mother I would
keep this one safe.  I have to keep at least one of my promises."

"What's that mean?  You always do your best to keep your promises."

"Really?  I *promised* the Rachar they'd be safe here, that the Gherop
wouldn't find them, and I'd be back to help them.  I should have been
here to protect New Rachar," he whispered.  "I failed them.  They
might as well have stayed on Rachar and died along with the others
when the planet was destroyed."

"Sunbird, don't talk like that.  You did everything you could to keep
them safe. We found them a place to live outside Gherop territory, in
a system that was of little use to the Gherop.  No indigenous species
to exploit.  Little resources.  Only of interest to an agrarian
society. The odds against their finding them were slim."

"But they did."

"Yes, they did.  Unfortunately.  You can't beat yourself up about it.
You did what you could to help them.  This is *not* your fault.  It's
the Gherop's.  They are the ones who did this.  They are the ones who
killed them.  Not you.  You want to blame some one, blame them, not
yourself."

"The Gherop are to blame," he parroted then said no more, merely
stroked the sleeping girl's indigo hair and lavender skin.

Whenever he became quiet like this, it scared her.  She knew him, knew
his moods, knew the way his mind worked, and when he was quiet like
this, it was a prime indicator he was plotting something, something
that would put him in danger.  Trying to prevent him from doing
anything rash, she tried again to get through to him.  "Sunbird, you
heard what her mother said, they died a free people, not Gherop
slaves.  They beat the Gherop in the end.  Though they may not have
won in the conventional sense, but they did win.  They were free.
This one is free.  Remember that."

Whether Tom heard what she was saying, she did not know.

"We need to give you a name," he told the child who certainly was not
listening.  "I know a few Rachar names, but...."  The idea of calling
her by any of their names pained him too greatly.  Another name came
to mind, one that pained him just as much only for a different reason.
The longer he thought about names, the more he came back to it.
"M'Nea Madeleine," he said very softly.  The little girl snuggled
closer to his chest as he called her by the name he had hoped to use
for his and B'Elanna's little girl one day.  Only that day was gone
forever.  There would be no little Paris-Torres or Torres-Paris
running amuck in the Universe like her parents.  This was the closest
he ever would come to having a child of his own.  He kissed her crown
then the tears began to run down his cheeks.

-------

The little q was confused by all he had seen.  In fact, most things
this one and his people did confused him. He had watched this one
closely, trying to puzzle out the mysterious actions and he still was
at a loss.  'Why had he left the others?  Why was that liquid leaking
out of his eyes again?  Why was he holding this child?  What did all
this mean?'

Never leaving his plane, q crawled up onto the bed so he could better
watch the tall, blond male and the tiny, lavender and indigo female.

'Why did the child's lips curve upwards while the man's curve
downwards?  Did the liquid have something to do with it?  Did it so
effect the man's facial structure as to drag his lips downwards?  Some
of the liquid was dripping on the child's face only it wasn't altering
her facial structure any.  Why?'  He reached out to touch the liquid
on the sleeping child's face.

---

The child now known as M'Nea Madeleine opened her eyes with a jerk.
She saw nothing, but had the distinct impression there was something
or someone there.  Mentally shrugging, she closed her eyes once more.

---

"T'Ne?"

Grateful for the distraction, the Chamberlain of the Gherop Court
looked up from his notes on the upcoming ceremony to install the new
Leader of his people.  What in the past had been a short yet
ritualized ceremony had evolved into a highly elaborate interval-long
function when T'Do had ascended to the throne after the deaths of his
parents. T'Do's second cousin, R'Co, with her banquets and parties and
parades, over many intervals, appeared to be determined to out do even
his Ceremony.  Unfortunately, it was falling to the overworked T'Ne to
carry out all these grandiose plans she was dreaming up.

'But,' he thought to himself, 'if N'Tra was coming to tell him what he
was hoping she was, they might just be able to be rid of R'Co and the
leadership would fall to her more sensible and sober cousin, D'Itu,
who wouldn't be as wasteful or ridiculous as R'Co.'

"Tell me you have good news, N'Tra" T'Ne begged his assistant.

She popped the datacrystal into the reader in her hand.  "I don't know
if you'll consider it good news or not."

He sighed.  "Tell me."

"We finally received the report from the P'Ro, the last of ships that
were based at Rachar.  Well, what was Rachar.  It confirmed what the
others have already reported.  E'Arte was laying this elaborate trap
for this ship named Voyager.  Had been at it for many, many intervals.
He was herding them towards Rachar where he finally lulled them into a
false sense of security and attempted to take over the ship.  Before
they arrived, he sent our ships away so Voyager would not suspect
anything.  He tricked Voyager and boarded her.  Only another ship
called Sunfire showed up and ruined his plans and Voyager and Sunfire
got away.  Our ships were ordered to come out of hiding to intercept
Voyager and take her by force.  They were on her trail when they were
called off by-" She consulted her notes.  "By I'Nu, E'Arte's clerk,
with a distress call.  He claimed a Final Weapon had been deployed,
that Voyager was at the planet and was taking control of all of our
shuttles on the surface and of T'Do's fleet in orbit, and somehow
displacing all of the Gherop crews.  He said they had no way off of
Rachar and our ships were to get there to save them.  Only by the time
they arrived there, the Final Weapon had destroyed the planet."

He shook his head.  "So what the other ships said was true?"

"Apparently."

"So there's no indications R'Co was involved in T'Do's death?"

"We still don't know *exactly* what happened on Rachar.  Never will
now."

"What do you mean?"

"Before they reported in, that P'Ro stumbled across multiple warp
trails.  Gherop ship trails.  They thought that our other ships in the
area had reached Rachar ahead of them and they followed the trails to
rendezvous with them.  Only when they reached the end of the trails
they found Rachar not Gherop.  They monitored them for a while, found
out our people had been left on Rachar to die while these slaves
escaped.  U'Pde, the captain of the P'Ro, he had a brother stationed
on Rachar and A'Nce, the P'Ro's First Officer says it made U'Pde more
than a little crazy.  He ordered the Rachar and the moon destroyed.
They started on their way to the nearest of our bases, but they
detected another of our ships along the way.  When they scanned it,
they found two more Rachar on it, no Gherop, and U'Pde ordered it
destroyed it too."

"Destroying our only chances of finding out exactly what happened on
Rachar before it exploded."

"There's no other way to prove what R'Co was planning?"

"No, she was smart enough to keep the majority of her plans to
herself.  I can't find any solid evidence against her.  All I have is
one brief conversation I overheard between R'Co and her late
assistant.  There's nothing more and no witnesses to corroborate what
I overheard if I were to go to the Court Council with my story."

"And with her assistant's convenient death, R'Co can say it's your
word against her own."

"Precisely."

"So what do we do now?"

"We have all available ships find Voyager."

"R'Co will have to approve that order."

"I'll take care of that."

"How?"

"Voyager and Sunfire were at Rachar, but have not been found yet,
right?"

"Right."

"Some of the Rachar escaped Rachar's destruction."

"The few we have on our ships as crews, yes."

"Other than them.  The ones who escaped to this moon."

"Yes."

"And everyone knows of R'Co's fondness for Rachar art."

"Yes?"

"So put it together.  Logically, Voyager and Sunfire would have saved
as many as they could too, not just helped them get to our ships.
However, they weren't found so they couldn't have been wherever it was
our people found the escapees.  That would have been in the report,
right?"

"There was no mention of them, no."

"So they didn't find them. That was something they would not have left
out."

"Agreed."

"Therefore, until they are found and searched, there is the
possibility there still are more Rachar alive out there, somewhere,
possibly on Voyager or Sunfire or hiding somewhere only they would
know."

She smiled, understanding.  "Rachar artisans."

"Exactly.  So all that has to be suggested is if we can capture
Voyager and Sunfire they maybe carrying some artisans or know where
they might be."

She grinned and shook her head at her superior's audacious brilliance.
"So you're going to use her greed for Rachar art to your advantage?"

"Exactly.  If she gets the idea into her head that going after them
would be a good idea, she'll send all available ships in the area to
do it."

"There is only one problem.  She might not believe it and order all
the Rachar who we have crewing our ships to be brought to her."

"But they aren't artisans.  Any Rachar who were taken as crew were
inferior workers in their fields.  If there are any trained artisans
among them, they won't be able to produce anything anywhere near the
quality R'Co demands.  No, I'm sure she'll take the bait and order
Voyager and Sunfire captured.  Once they have them, I'll make sure I
get to them before R'Co does and find out what they know about
Rachar's final hours."

"And hopefully if R'Co was in anyway involved in T'Do's demise."

"Precisely.  Then we'll be able to legally disqualify her from taking
the throne and it will pass to her cousin, D'Itu."

"Who will be a much more acceptable Leader."

"Definitely.  But we don't have much time."  He gestured to his notes.
"This nonsense she has planned for the Ceremony is due to start in
only seven intervals.  Who knows how long it's going to go on for
after she's finally finished making all her plans, but Voyager has to
be found before it is over."  He smiled and shook his head.  "And to
think I was just bemoaning the elaborate spectacle she was planning.
All that nonsense will give us more time to find that ship.  The
Ceremony won't actually be performed until after all the other things
she has planned are over.  That will be about three intervals after
the festivities start, but we'll only have until then though.  Once
the Ceremony's over it will be too late to remove her."

"So whomever's made Leader at the Ceremony, we're stuck with?"

"Unless they willingly abdicate and you know how often that's happened
in the past.  Twice."

"So why not just arrange for her to disappear for a while?  If she
misses the Ceremony, won't D'Itu automatically be called to step in
and become Leader in her absence?"

"They'd suspect D'Itu arranged it and launch an investigation, leaving
us without a Leader for the interim and the Empire vulnerable.  And if
they are able to prove who actually did arrange her disappearance,
they'll be executed."  He passed her his notes on R'Co's plans for the
"nonsense."  "You get to work on these.  I'm going to go tell her
about the Rachar on Voyager and Sunfire."

They parted company.  T'Ne smiling to himself about what he hoped was
about to come to pass.

N'Tra was smiling for a rather different reason.

-------

A'Nce stepped through his Captain's quarters' door and stood at
attention before him U'Pde.  For his part, P'Ro's captain remained
nonchalantly stretched out on his bunk, leaning back against the wall
the bunk abutted.  Knowing he had all the power and authority in this
situation and deciding to make his underling suffer, the Captain
stared at his First Officer for a long time before speaking.

"How long have you been my First Officer, A'Nce?"

"Five seasons, U'Pde."

"And in those five seasons, have I been a just commanding officer?  A
fair commanding officer?"

"Yes, U'Pde."

"And haven't I looked the other way when the crew have committed a few
infractions from time to time?"

"Yes, U'Pde."

"Including yourself?"

He lifted the datacrystal reader from his lap and read a passage from
it.  A'Nce was perfectly familiar with the incident.  Had U'Pde not
covered up the indiscretion, A'Nce would have been summarily dismissed
from the service and the shame of it would have dogged him for the
rest of his life.  He might as well have jumped out the airlock as
tried to have a life had that have become public knowledge.

"You do remember that, don't you, A'Nce?"

"Yes, U'Pde."

"You remember how grateful you were at the time?  Thanking me?
Swearing your undivided loyalty to me?  Remember that?"

"Yes, U'Pde."

"As do I so you can imagine my surprise to find out you went behind my
back and reported in to the Homeworld about what happened at that moon
with the runaway slaves."

A'Nce cast his mind about for a response.  He had seen no other option
open to them but to make that report about what had happened on New
Rachar and later with the two Rachar on the Gherop ship.  The
Homeworld had demanded it immediately and U'Pde was in a drunken
stupor at the time after having had one too many "in memory of his
brother, the greatest Gherop who ever lived."  There was no time to
sober him up so A'Nce had made the report himself.

"You told them I was overcome with grief and had destroyed
everything."

"But you were, U'Pde, and you did.  The Homeworld was demanding an
immediate report.  You weren't in any condition to do that, so I gave
it in your stead.  I was trying to remind them we didn't know there
was any order to capture them if found.  That we were treating them as
we would any other runaways and in the manner any other Gherop would.
I did it for you, to save you from having to answer any more
questions. I knew once R'Co heard about how your grief had effected
you, she would understand, given the grief she must be feeling over
the death of her cousin, T'Do."

This slightly mollified U'Pde.  "Don't ever do it again.  If I want
you to back me up on something or protect me, I will say so."

"Yes, U'Pde."

"Well then...  We will continue on back to where Rachar once was and
attempt to pick up Voyager's trail."

"But I thought our orders were to go to the nearest base?"

"Are you questioning me, A'Nce?"

"No, U'Pde."

"I thought not.  The Helm already has their instructions and we are on
course.  Come to me when we've arrived.  Dismissed."

-------

"Good morning, Ensign Kim."

"Seven."

"May I sit with you?"

He gave a brief nod and resumed picking over his breakfast.

Undaunted by his lack of interest in her presence, Seven tried again.
"Is Mr. Neelix's latest nutritional effort unpalatable?"

He only shrugged.

Bravely, she tried some and grimaced.  "Yes, it is."  She set down her
fork beside her plate.  "The repairs appear to be progressing well.
Lieutenant Carey predicts another forty-eight hours and we will be
underway once more."

"Hmm."

"There appears to be some debate over what course we will take once we
are mobile once more.  Which do you think the Captain will order?
Towards New Rachar or the Alpha Quadrant?"

Another shrug.

"Of the opinions I have heard expressed, sentiments amongst the crew
are evenly split on the subject.  Some declare they are relieved to
have Mr. Paris gone.  Others are concerned for one reason or another.
Some for him and his safety.  Others for us and our own, either
because of the untried Gopher Hole or the possibility Mr. Paris may be
captured and somehow used against Voyager."  She paused, but he voiced
no opinion.  "What do you think?" she prodded.

"Frankly, I don't care.  He left us without a word of goodbye so to
Hell with him."  Harry surged to his feet and exited the Mess Hall.

'So I was correct,' she thought.  'He is upset because Mr. Paris did
not see him before he left.'

Since Harry Kim had returned to Voyager with the rest of the rescue
party, Seven had been trying to do what Lieutenant Paris had told her
to do.  When she, the Lieutenant, and Mr. Neelix had been off on their
yatelite expedition, she had talked with the lieutenant about Ensign
Kim and her concerns regarding him.  The lieutenant -- as astute as
always where personal matters were concerned -- had guessed there was
more to her concern than merely professional politeness and had
instructed her to be a good friend to the ensign and be there for him
when he needed her.  And she had been trying to do so.  Now if only
Ensign Kim would just co-operate.

'I shall just have to try harder,' she insisted.  'And perhaps a
successful outcome to Lieutenant Torres' plan will drawing out of
himself again.'

She stood and carted her tray and his to the recycler.  There was much
she had to do and less than two days in which to do it if she was to
have her part of the plan ready in time.

-------

"Computer, end alarm."  Chakotay threw his legs over the side of the
bed with a groan and sat there, hand in hands, elbows on knees,
debating whether to get all of the way out of bed or not.  Eventually
duty won out over the desire for more sleep and he dragged himself
into the sonic shower.

Minutes later, he was back in his bedroom, dressing and not feeling
the least bit refreshed.  "Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres."

"Lieutenant Torres is in Engineering."

"Has she left there at any time since 1300 yesterday?"

"Negative."

And it was 0620 now his chronometer told him.

He shook his head.  When he had cornered Vorik the night before in the
Mess Hall, he had practically had to order the ensign to admit his
Chief had not left Engineering since the Gherop had been detected and
their problems had began.  He had said Carey planned to talk to Torres
once they finish the delicate work they're doing at the moment and
suggest she go rest, especially since the last rest Carey had
mutinously "ordered" her to take earlier in the day had been
interrupted by the detection of the Gherop.  No one could remember the
last time she had tried to sleep before then.

Unfortunately, even he, as acting Captain, could not step in and order
her to bed.  She was the only one on board who knew how to do whatever
it was Engineering was doing to fix the damage.  She had to stay until
it was done.  Were it not for that, he would have sent her to bed the
moment he had found out she was working extra shifts, even if every
time Engineering fixed something, something else went wrong and they
needed her.  The last estimate he had received predicted another day,
maybe two's work before the warp engines could safely be brought back
online after what she was doing was completed.  They had drafted as
many as they could to help, but it was slow going, despite working
double shifts.

'But surely her part had to be finished whatever she was doing by
now,' he thought.

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Carey."

"Lieutenant Carey is in the Main Computer core."

"Chakotay to Carey."

"Carey here," the second in command of Engineering responded.

"She's still in Engineering."

Carey did not need Chakotay to identify who the "she" was.  "I know,
sir.  I tried to get her to go rest, but the look she gave me when I
did... I'm just glad she didn't have anything in her hands or it would
have been imbedded in my skull, sir.  Nothing short of a security team
is going to get her out of there.  She's become obsessed with getting
the engines back online.  Well, more obsessed than usual."

"I'll take care of it.  Chakotay out."  He sat in the chair at his
desk.  There had to be some way to get her to rest.  "Computer, locate
the Doctor."

"The Doctor is in his office."

"Alone?"

"Affirmative."

"Chakotay to the Doctor."

"Go ahead, Commander," the EMH answered from Deck Five.

"I have an assignment for you, Doctor.  A dangerous one."

"An Away mission?" the hologram asked eagerly.

"Not exactly."

It took only a moment to fill the EMH in on his "dangerous mission" to
be undertaken without benefit of the "team of Commander Tuvok's finest
to back him up" that he half-jokingly requested.

Breaking the connection, Chakotay checked his schedule and took the
next fifteen minutes to review the status reports the various
departments had filed since he last had checked them.  Seeing the one
from Engineering indicating he was correct and B'Elanna had finished
her part an hour ago, he smiled and headed for breakfast in the Mess
Hall with a lighter heart.

-------

"What do you think the odds are of T'Ne finding nothing to indict my
cousin?"

In response to D'Itu's question, N'Tra sighed as she dressed.
"Unfortunately, not good I think.  We know how T'Do was."

"The odds the death of my fifth cousin did happen exactly as it
appears.  He deployed that final weapon of his and was prevented from
leaving the planet in time."

Helping him fasten the last stay on his tunic, she nodded.  "This
Voyager, and possibly Sunfire, appear to have had a direct hand in his
being trapped there.  However, there's no evidence of R'Co's being
anyway involved.  True, she was the one who suggested T'Do ought to
personally go look into the Rachar matter.  Yet a case could be made
for her having made that suggestion out of lingering malice towards
E'Arte.  She wanted T'Do to go torture the one who had insulted her so
long ago."

D'Itu smiled.  "You know, it is a pity he is gone."

N'Tra stopped smoothing down her secret lover's hair and stared at
him, wide eyed.  'He couldn't mean T'Do,' she thought.  'Not after the
years of scheming and careful planning the two of them had put into
eliminating everyone between him and the throne.'

It had been a slow process, killing off or discrediting everyone in
his way and patience had never been D'Itu's strong suit, despite the
public image he projected.  Had it not been for N'Tra guiding him and
taking care of many matters herself, without D'Itu ever knowing that
was what she had done, that certain accidents were not "accidents" at
all, he would not be where he was today.  If he suddenly was having a
crisis of conscience, she certainly was going to have something to say
about it. She knew where all the bodies were buried.  Literally.
There was no way she was going to have done all she had done just to
have him abruptly decide he had changed his mind and did not want to
be Leader after all.

Luckily for him, T'Do was not the one he was referring to as it being
a pity he was gone.  "E'Arte could have been a good distraction for
R'Co.  If only we could have found a way to get him back here to the
Homeworld and have it look like he'd earned the right to come back.
Arranged for him to do something so grand even T'Do could not have
refused his request to return, no matter how much my cousins did not
want that.  But there's no use wishing for things that can never
happen."  He cupped the back of her neck.  "Better to wish for things
that can and make them come true."

"And they will come true," she whispered, relaxed once more after her
fright over his possibly growing a conscience.

-------

Chakotay's light mood was accompanied by a smile as he stood beside a
Mess Hall table, breakfast tray in hand.  "Can I join you?" he asked
the table's occupant.

B'Elanna barely glanced up from the padd she was reviewing.  "Hmm."

Taking that for a "yes," Chakotay set his tray down opposite her and
took a chair.  Laying his napkin across his lap, he watched her shovel
spoonful after spoonful blue-grey mush into her mouth.  Given the
looks on the faces of the other Mess Hall diners, Neelix's "porridge"
hardly was the most appetizing dish, but the Chief Engineer did not
seem to be minding it in the least.  Either her taste buds were on
strike or - and he was guessing this was the case - she was too
absorbed in whatever was on her padd to notice what she was eating.

Trying to be brave, he tentatively swallowed a spoonful of the mush,
realized everyone else was correct, it was horrible, and decided
conversation might distract him long enough to down the breakfast.
"So, how are you?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

She did not respond.

He leaned across the table and touched her arm.

B'Elanna jerked as though he had jabbed her with a Klingon painstick.
For a second she remained like that, blinking rapidly at him, clearly
attempting to get her tired brain to switch gears, then she relaxed
slightly.  "Chakotay," she said in a less than welcoming voice.

"Yes, 'Chakotay.'"  Withdrawing his hand, he met her glare head on.
"I asked how you were."

"You're the one, aren't you?"

"The one what?"

The padd hit the tabletop with a sharp smack.  "The Doctor came into
Engineering a few minutes ago.  He ordered me out of there for the
next four hours or I'd be put on report and confined to Sickbay for
the rest of the day.  It seems *someone* told him I needed rest and
food.  I wonder who that could have been."

"It was me, yes.  You didn't threaten to terminate his programme or
something, I hope."

She continued to glare.

"You're exhausted, B'Elanna.  You need some down time and you're going
to get it, whether you like it or not."

She opened her mouth to fire off some retort only he interrupted her
first.

"And don't you dare tell me you can't be spared from Engineering right
now.  I know we need the engines back on line, but you've been awake
for over two days now.  Longer really, since you didn't get much, if
any, sleep for a couple of days before yesterday either.  You need
rest as much as your staff does.  They at least get sent to their
quarters for a few hours to rest or sent here to eat.  I've checked.
You've barely been in here since Sunfire went to Rachar.  And as for
your quarters, you were only in there for a few minutes before we
detected the Gherop on the way yesterday so you couldn't have had any
sleep then and since then you haven't been back there."

A look came over her face as he mentioned the last time she had been
in her quarters.  She had not confided anything in him, indeed there
had not been much time for anything like personal conversation lately,
what with all the repairs, but he knew something was troubling her.
And he could guess what it was.

Paris was gone and until the engines were back on line she could not
go after him to bring him back.  Had the ship not been practically
helpless, just hanging there in space, she probably would have risked
her transmission being intercepted by the enemy and tried to contact
Sunfire to call Paris back or at least talk to him.  But she knew
better than most that they were helpless to move so even she, in what
had to be desperation to reach out to her AWOL mate, would not risk
giving away their position to any other Gherop in the area.  She had
to be patient.  For the moment.  But he knew being patient did not
mean she could not be working on her plans for when they were mobile
once more.

With a finger, he snagged the padd in which she had been so interested
and tugged it over to him before she could make a grab for it.  On it
were the rescue team's reports about New Rachar, starcharts indicating
its position relative to their own, and everything they knew about
Sunfire, especially her propulsion system.  The last file was a
strange, point form list in B'Elanna's own version of shorthand and he
did not understand it.  Mentally shrugging at the last item, Chakotay
glanced back up at her and nodded.  "I figured as much, you know.  You
had that look on your face."

"What 'look?'" she demanded, snatching the padd back.

"The same one you get any time you are confronted with something
everyone else tells you is impossible or you aren't allowed to do.
Determined.  Single-minded.  Obsessive."  He leaned closer to her and
lowered his voice.  "You're planning to go after him.  One way or
another"

Her chin rose as her posture became more erect.  "So what if I am?"

"B'Elanna, we need to talk about what's happened," he began, though he
knew this was not the proper place for the two of them to have a heart
to heart.  "I know Paris' leaving has to be difficult for you, but-"

"Difficult?!" she yelled, unintentionally attracting everyone's
attention.  "*Difficult* is trying to fix engines that need a refit in
the worst way but you can't because you're decades away from the
nearest Starbase and even if you weren't, you couldn't get there
because the damned engines can't be restarted until major work is
completed.  That's difficult.  Tom's leaving is *Hell*, not
*difficult.*"  As she made a strangled sob, her eyes turned inwards.
"No, *Hell* is knowing the man you love is gone and is never coming
back and it's all your fault."

"B'Elanna, it's not your-"

"Yes, it is!" she shouted and stormed out, the padd clutched so
tightly in her hand it was in danger of shattering.

Returning to their breakfasts, everyone present pretended they had not
been monitoring the contretemps.  Everyone, Chakotay noticed, except
Megan Delaney who was seated at the next table.  She seemed not to be
aware of anything other than the absent-minded pattern she was
creating in her mush.  While he did not often come in contact with her
-- or her twin sister for that matter -- enough to tell them apart on
sight, he could tell this was Megan solely by the look on her face.
He had heard she was taking Paris' departure hard, despite the fact
she and the now former Head of Conn had not been speaking to one
another at the time of his resignation.  As far as he was aware, still
no one knew what Paris had said or done to this woman to drive her
away from his ever- shrinking circle of friends.  Whatever it had been
though, it seemed to have been forgotten with his unexpected return
alive from Rachar and now his departure.

Sighing to himself, he debated on going to her to try to comfort her.
He certainly had not done much good with B'Elanna and he knew her
better than anyone, except maybe Paris.  There was little chance of
him doing any better with a woman he barely knew.  Besides, Geron Tem
was the one to be comforting her.  He was her lover the last time
Chakotay had heard.  If anyone should be easing her pain, it should be
Tem.  'I've got a woman of my own to worry about,' Chakotay thought,
taking his the remains of his breakfast over to the recycler.

This gave him pause mentally, though his body continued out of the
Mess Hall and down the corridor.  'Did he really have the right to be
thinking of Kathryn as "his?"  True, he had been comforting her for
days now, coaxing her to eat to keep her strength up, holding her when
her guilt over leaving Paris behind overwhelmed her then trying to
reason with her when she dwelled on her role in the events leading to
Paris's departure.  Did that justify him thinking of her as his?'

Her going into seclusion in her Ready Room had made him do a lot of
thinking about her and not just about how much the ship needed her.
He had found himself thinking about how he could help her through
this, how he could ease the pain of her loss.  And he had realized
only last night, as he had been about to fall asleep, Paris' leaving
*was* a loss for her.  He always had known Tom Paris was special to
her -- as her personal reclamation project and the son of her mentor
-- but it had never hit him just how special Paris really was until
this.  Paris was like Seven was to Kathryn -- a pseudo-child to
satisfy her frustrated maternal instincts.  Now one of her two chicks
had flown the coop and she was overwrought.

For a while last night he had argued with himself that she would have
reacted this way no matter who was the crewmember involved in this.
She was a captain and captains are told the cardinal rule of never
leaving a crewman behind and here in the Delta Quadrant they needed
everyone they could get.

Then he had seen reason and placed only minor value on that argument.
The real reason, more than any captainly or motherly duty, was she
remained adamant Paris' being trapped in the collapsed tunnel was all
her fault.  She had thought him dead so when she was rescued she had
ordered Voyager and Sunfire to abandon Rachar ahead of the approaching
Gherop fleet.  If B'Elanna had not recovered after her collapse
occurring at the same time Paris supposedly had died, the Doctor never
would have suspected Paris might still be alive.  If the EMH had not
made that leap in thinking, Voyager and Sunfire might today have been
light years away and never known Paris had lived.  Kathryn had trouble
with that possibility.

And now there was the self-doubt she was feeling because it was her
decision not to help Paris' friends, not to the extent he wanted
anyway, that had made him leave Voyager.  Chakotay did not know how
many times or in how many different ways he could tell her she had
done the right thing in following the rules.  None of it seemed to
sink in. Until it did or something came along to jar her out of her
funk, there was nothing else he could think of to do to help her.

But that did not mean he was not going to try.  As soon as he reached
the Bridge, he was going to see her.  Hopefully he might have snapped
out of it all on her own.  He doubted it, but he had hope.

And if she was better, then he was going to broach another subject,
one that had implications for the entire crew.  When he was sitting
with her in the Ready Room last night, before he had admitted fatigue
and gone to his quarters, he had been watching Kathryn finally fall
asleep and something had became clear to him.  Voyager desperately
needed a counsellor.  She always had, but it had become most evident
over the passed few days.  The longer they spent in the Delta
Quadrant, the more he wished Starfleet Command had not decided against
sending one with Voyager.  He knew her mission only was supposed to be
a short one, go into the Badlands to find out what had happened to
Tuvok, but still, to say a counsellor was unnecessary was a wrong move
in his opinion. Events of the passed few months, of the passed few
years really, bore that out.

Of course part of him wondered if the fact no counsellor was on board
was more due to design by The Protectors than economy by Starfleet.
According to Paris and Sunfire, their AlphaOmegan leaders had planned
to have Paris release a virus that would have killed all the Starfleet
crew.  He then would leave the ship in the Badlands for the Maquis to
be "found" by an AlphaOmegan inside the Maquis.  Was it a case of The
Protectors not wanting to sacrifice a counsellor for some reason?  Or
did they not care and it *was* Starfleet deciding not to send what
they viewed as unnecessary personnel out on a simple mission?  They
probably would never know, but regardless, they needed a counsellor.
He had done his best to be there for the crew, but he was not a
trained professional.  He had tried reading the psychology texts in
Voyager's database and they might as well be written in Klingon for
all the sense they made.  They needed someone who could make heads or
tails of it, and that someone simply was not him.

Nor did he think anyone else on board could do it either as far as he
could tell.  To be a counsellor, one had to be objective and, given
the nature of their situation, everyone was too involved with everyone
else's lives to be considered objective.

And there was the mental state of the crew.  He was not saying the
ship was over-run with mentally ill individuals, but the mental scars
from their experiences were there.  They might not have been as deep
as they were if there had been a trained professional on board to
properly help them through their crises.  All of them had had to deal
with the emotions entailed with being so far from home and in constant
peril of never seeing it again.  On top of that, practically everyone
on the ship had experienced some additional sort of mental trauma --
torture, alien invasion, or death of a close friend.  Had a counsellor
been on board, he was certain everyone would have healed far more
quickly and with better results than how they had been muddling along
so far.  But with that fact in mind, was it really a good idea for
someone on the crew to become a counsellor.  Would it not be like the
blind leading the blind?

Therefore he had decided to approach the Captain about creating a
holographic counsellor along the lines of the Doctor.  He knew it
seemed a strange time to be thinking about it now.  If the AlphaOmegan
plans worked and they were successful in opening a Gopher Hole to the
Alpha Quadrant, all of the time spent on designing would have been
wasted.  But if the plans did not work, and there always was the
chance of that, and they did not get home then having a counsellor on
board to help deal with the emotions that would arise at yet another
disappointment would be highly practical.  Now he just had to get the
Captain to approve the plan.

When he reached the doors to the turbolift and they opened, the sight
of a prematurely aged Harry Kim greeted him.  Seeing the ensign, it
suddenly hit the Commander that the man he had planned to ask to be in
charge of the design end of creating the counsellor holoprogram was
one of the ones who most needed its services right now.  That did not
seem a very wise choice.

"Morning, Harry," he nodded to the ensign and stepped inside the lift.

Forgoing any attempt to straighten up his posture or fake a smile,
Harry merely nodded back.

Chakotay called his destination out to the computer and they began to
rise the one deck to the Bridge.  "How are you doing today?"  It was a
stupid question and the man who asked it knew it.

And so did the depressed man.  He turned dead, brown eyes on his
superior officer and let them say everything.

Reflexively, the Commander reached out to lay a comforting hand on the
ensign's shoulder only to have the doors opened at that moment.
Instantly, Harry was out of the small space and onto the Bridge,
evading the hand.  Chakotay let it drop and shook his head.

The boy had been through a lot in the passed few weeks.  Found out his
best friend was a deadly assassin who had been sent to Voyager to kill
everyone on board.  Fell in love with a beautiful woman who, under
normal circumstances, would have been his perfect match.  Lost her
when she recovered her memories of her past, of the husband and
children she had been ordered to murder, and, with Sunfire's
assistance and Paris' approval, had committed suicide so she did not
have to live with the Hell she now remembered.  Been tricked by Gherop
collaborators into attempting to breach Voyager's security so they
could take over the ship.  Now his best friend had chosen aliens whom
he had known only a few days over those on Voyager who admittedly had
mostly abandoned him long before he at last had left *them*.  'Forget
about your own not wanting to get out of bed this morning,' Chakotay
admonished.  'It's amazing the kid had after all he's been through.

'Maybe there was someone else on board who has the holoprogramming
skills to do this,' Chakotay hoped as he stepped out of the lift and
walked towards the Ready Room, along the way nodding to Tuvok who had
the Bridge this shift.  He momentarily closed his eyes, remembering
the next best holoprogrammer on the ship was Paris and he was gone.
'Well, third best will have to do then,' he decided and pressed the
announcer to the Ready Room.  And then again when he received no
response from inside.  Ultimately, he just walked in, knowing what he
would find.

Captain Kathryn Janeway had not moved since the night before only now
she was awake.  She still was in a corner of her couch with her arms
wrapped around her updrawn knees, her head resting against the couch
back as she stared impassively out at the unmoving stars.  His hope
she would have snapped out of her mood was dashed.  Now he had the
fear she was close to a mental breakdown and he did not know how he
was going to juggle looking after her and stepping in for her as pro
tem Captain until she was better.

Another series of "if onlys" assailed him.  If only the Gherop had not
separated her from the rest of the crew when they seized control of
the transporters.  If only there had been another way out of the
prison than an old, disused tunnel.  If only she had not laughed as
she squeezed through a narrow opening and the ceiling of the tunnel
had not collapsed on Paris.  If only she had been able to reach Paris'
wrist instead of merely one of Paris' fingers so she could have taken
his pulse to see he really was alive not dead. If only Sunfire had not
been malfunctioning so she had not been able to detect Paris still
alive and in the rubble of the tunnel.  If only the Gherop Leader's
fleet had not been on approach and they could have gone back to
recover Paris' "dead" body, not left him.  If only....

He sat down beside her, laying his hands over hers.  "Kathryn?"

She slowly rolled her head towards him and he saw in her eyes all the
emotion Harry's had lacked.

"Kathryn," he said again, reaching out to stroke the wild tangles of
her auburn hair, "we need you to pull yourself together.   He's gone
and there's nothing we can do about that right now."

"We have to find him," she whispered hoarsely.  "We have to explain-"

"Sunfire's warp trail can't be traced.  That's part of her design,
remember?"

"He has to have gone back to New Rachar.  Tuvok, Harry, and Neelix
were there.  Harry was the one who found it.  He can lead us back
there."

"But it would be very dangerous, Kathryn.  When Rachar was destroyed,
it took the Gherop Leader with it.  The Gherop aren't going to be too
pleased with that.  They're going to be looking for those responsible.
It may have been their own weapon that destroyed the planet and their
Leader the one who had it detonated, but I doubt that'll matter, or
that they'll know T'Do was already dead before the planet blew.
They're going to be seeking revenge and going after the Rachar who
survived and probably us as well."

He cupped her pale cheek.  "That may have been the reason they took
after us yesterday.  Or it could merely have been the fact we were in
Gherop territory.  I don't know.  What I *do* know is, if we go to New
Rachar and we encounter any Gherop along the way, we'll be putting the
Rachar and ourselves at risk.  And after all, it was his decision to
leave.  We can't go rushing after him and force him to come back.  He
is an adult and can make his own decisions."

"But he really didn't want to go.  I know he didn't."

"Do you?"

"Yes!  We're his family-"

"To be frank, Kathryn, I don't think we've been much of that these
passed few weeks.  Not towards him, anyway."

"We were wrong.  We shouldn't have pushed him away.  It wasn't his
fault what The Protectors made him do.  We shouldn't have blamed him.
We shouldn't have shunned him like we did."

"Kathryn, what's done is done.  We can't change the past without
breaking more than a few Starfleet rules about non-interference in
temporal continuity.  We have to let him go."

"But it was my fault he's gone.  I should have chucked the Prime
Directive like he wanted me to and given the Rachar replicators."

"The reasons weren't compelling enough to justify it, you know that.
You and I discussed it when you were trying to decide whether to give
them to them or not.  They will be able to create a fine home for
themselves there.  The replicators aren't truly necessary."

"I should have-"

Laying a finger across her lips, he shook his head.  "No, you
shouldn't have.  You did what the rules and the situation said was
correct. Granted, he did not like it, but it was what had to be done.
If you had ruled in his favour just because of some emotional plea,
you wouldn't have been doing the right thing."  He stroked her hair
back from her face.  "And he knows that.  He went through the Academy.
And yes, he did leave Voyager, but how different is that from an
indulged child who is told he can't do something and then runs away
and does it anyway."

Grey eyes flashed at him.  "He is not a *child*!"

"No, he's not.  He is a grown man who's seen more of life -- and death
- - than either one of us probably ever will.  He is perfectly capable
of making his own decisions now that The Protectors no longer control
his actions.  We have to let him do whatever it is he feels he has to
do. If he wants to return to us or to the Alpha Quadrant later, he
knows how to find us and Sunfire is capable of opening the Gopher Hole
herself.  He can go home when he's ready."

She seemed to finally accept the logic in his argument, at least in
part, for she said no more, merely turned to stare out the window once
again.

Knowing if he wanted a counsellor he was going to have to authorize it
himself, Chakotay did not broach the subject with her.  Instead, he
rose and bent down to kiss the top of her head.  As he did, one of her
hands snaked up to grasp his forearm for a long moment.  They remained
that way, her taking what strength she could from him and him freely
giving it, then her hand released him.  Sad he had been unable to
bring her out of her funk, he started for the door only to be stopped
half way there by her voice.

"What would you have done?" she asked him softly.

He knew to what she was referring.  "Would he have refused to break
the Prime Directive as she had?" was what she was asking.  He already
had thought about his answer, knowing she would ask this question
eventually.  "I would have said 'no' as you did," he responded simply,
not turning back to her.

When she did not comment further, he continued out of the Ready Room.

-------

"I ran into the Doctor and he said you'd been sprung from Sickbay.
Can I come in?"

LaKeysha Walesan nodded to Joe Carey and motioned him into the
quarters she shared with Ver Faran.  "We'll have to be quiet though.
Faran's asleep."

Looking over her shoulder, he saw the big Bajoran sprawled face down
across the bed in the far end of the room.  "Okay," Joe nodded,
following her over to the couch.  "How are you two feeling?"

With his assistance, she lowered her bulk to the cushions.  "We're
doing fine," she smiled, stroking her bulging stomach.  "The Doctor
even admitted it or he wouldn't have let me out.  I don't know who's
more concerned about this baby -- him or Faran."

Joe grinned.  "Sounds like what my wife said about me the first time
she was pregnant.  And the second."

She smiled broadly back.  "So, what did you want to see me about?"

His grin faded.  "About that padd you found in Engineering yesterday."

She stopped smiling too.  "The one for Lieutenant Torres."

"Yes.  Did you read any of it?"

"Yes.  Like I said, I thought it was-"

"The padd you and Vorik had been using, I remember."

"It didn't make any sense though."  She closed her eyes and tried to
remember the few, short sentences she had read.  "Something about
knowing Torres and Harry Kim had feelings for one another, that
everyone thought the two of them were a better match for one another
than her and Tom, and how sorry he was that they hadn't told him how
they felt before or after... some planet's name."

He sighed.  "Dartin VIII.  It was the planet where Tom and Tuvok were
injured when they were mountain climbing and he carried Tuvok's
consciousness around while Tuvok's body healed."

"That's why it sounded familiar.  But what does that have to do with
her and Harry Kim supposedly having feelings for one another."  She
paused as a thought struck her.  "They don't, do they?"

"Only friendship as far as I can tell.  With the exception of that
debacle with Raven, Tom's the only man she's ever wanted as far as I
know."

"So why does Tom think they're somehow involved?  And what's that have
to do with Dartin VIII?  If I remember correctly, Torres and Kim
weren't with them when they went climbing.  No one was.  That's why
Tom was the one who ended up with Tuvok as a... houseguest for a while
-- there was no one else there to take him."

"I don't know what happened.  I would have said Tuvok might have told
him something while they were in the same body, something about Harry
and B'Elanna, only Tuvok doesn't gossip.  Besides, if Tom knew way
back then, why would suddenly bring it up now?  It was months ago that
we were there."

"So the logical conclusion is he just found out about something that
supposedly happened between them months ago."

"That's what I'm thinking."

She shook her head.  "I don't believe it.  Not those two.  Back then
Kim was nuts over Seven of Nine and Torres was madly in love with Tom.
Still is, I think, despite everything.  I don't believe they'd...
Well, Tom and her *were* having problems back then.  And Kim *was*
getting no where with Seven of Nine.  They're such best friends; it
would be natural for the two of them to cry on each other's shoulders,
but anything more.... No, not them."

"Well, whatever happened, if anything, B'Elanna obviously knew to what
Tom was referring in the note.  She blanched when I read that sentence
to her."

"*Read* it to her?"

"Remember when I ran out of Engineering to go to her quarters to see
her?"

"Yes.  You'd sent her there to get some sleep because she was
exhausted."

"So exhausted she barely was conscious when she answered the door.  I
had to read his note to her because she had so much trouble keeping
her eyes open.  She sure woke up in a hurry when I got to the bit
about Dartin VIII though.  And by the time I was finished, I nearly
had to grab her to keep her from running all over the ship looking for
him in her negligee, trying to find him."

"Negligee?  Her?"

He shrugged.  "Don't know quite when she started wearing them.
Recently I guess.  Quite a few times in the past there have been
emergencies and she's had to scramble out of her quarters so fast, she
hasn't taken the time to change into a uniform.  Back then she'd be
wearing a red tunic and leggings.  Now it seems to be negligees."

"Tom probably gave it to her.  He strikes me as the type who'd like
that."  She shook her head to draw her attention back to the matter at
hand.   "So you made her get dressed?"

"She started to, but when she was doing it she asked the computer to
locate him and found out he already was gone and so was Sunfire.  Then
the Red Alert started and she finished throwing on her uniform and we
only just made it to Engineering when the relays began giving us
trouble."

"So now that things have more or less calmed down in Engineering, you
want me to talk to her?" she guessed, trying to figure out where the
conversation was heading.  "She and I've never been close, but-"

"Actually, I'm going to try to do that.  Talk to her and to Harry.
What I want from you is to know if you told anyone else about what was
in the note?"

"No.  Some of the others in Engineering did notice you run out and
they tried to quiz me on why and what the deal was with the padd, but
you know me.  I usually keep my mouth shut, especially if I don't
really know what's going on.  Anyway, once the Red Alert started,
everyone was too busy scrambling to finish up the repairs in case we
couldn't out run the Gherop and had to brace for an attack.  Then I
took a fall and I've been in Sickbay until this morning.  With the EMH
or Faran or both hovering over me all the time I was there, the worst
of the ship's gossips weren't given enough time to ask me too many
questions.  They were kept to topics that wouldn't put any stress on
the baby or me. Comments about how I was doing mostly.  That's it."

"Good.  I think we should keep this between us.  You know what this
crew's like.  If this got out, everyone would be speculating on some
clandestine affair between the two of them, whether there's any hard
evidence to back it up or not.  I'll talk to B'Elanna and Harry and
see if I can resolve things."

"Torres does hate her privacy being invaded."

"Yes.  And Unofficial Engineering Regulation Number One?"

"'Don't tick off the Chief,'" she quoted with a laugh.

"Precisely."

"Don't worry.  I'll keep this to us," she promised, showing him to the
door.

Neither one knew the man supposedly sleeping in the next room had
overheard their entire conversation and he did not let on as his lover
came back into the bedroom.  Faking just having woken up, he blinked
at her owlishly.

"Oh, you're awake."

Sitting up, he made a show of yawning loudly and long.

"Or not," she smiled, smoothing back his sleep tousled hair.  "Go back
to sleep.  You have plenty of time before you have to go on shift."

He shook his head.  "Stuff I have to do first," he muttered and
"dragged" himself off to the bathroom to shower, all the while his
mind working over the information he had overheard.

-------

"Naomi, we have to talk."

"I don't want to," the little girl snapped to her mother in response,
not looking up from the game she was playing on the computer.

"Naomi, I know you're feeling angry because Tom left the ship, but-"

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK!" she screamed and ran out of their quarters.

Sighing heavily, Sam collapsed into a nearby chair.  Almost a full day
of this so far and still no end to the hostilities in sight.  Her
daughter blamed her for her beloved Tommy's departure.  Every time
Naomi looked at her -- and that was not often anymore -- Sam knew that
was what her child was thinking.

'Probably because that is what you're thinking yourself,' her
conscience pricked.  'You may not be the sole reason for his leaving,
but you certainly were a contributing factor.  Look at how tentative
he was when he came here just before he left.  He practically *begged*
you to let him see Naomi just for a few minutes to say goodbye.  You
heard what he was saying to her, that this was goodbye forever.  You
should have known the Captain never would permit him to leave just
like that, especially not after he'd just been a patient in Sickbay.
You were there when the Doctor brought him in, helped in the surgery.
Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have been permitted out of
Sickbay so soon, let alone be permitted to leave the ship.  Only you
didn't stop him when he tried to go.  You just let him go.'

Her head fell to her hands.  She had just let him go without a word
and now she very much regretted it.  True, at the time, the mother in
her had been relieved he was going.  With him not on the ship, she
would not have to worry about his potentially bad influence over Naomi
anymore, wouldn't have to worry about him consciously or unconsciously
teaching her the things The Protectors had taught him.  Now, however,
she realized just how big a role he played in her daughter's life and
heart.

'And what about on the ship?  What about how he always was so good at
keeping morale up?  What about Neelix, who's exhausted because Tom's
not around to take over doing a meal for him every once in a while so
he can have some time off?  The others are all too busy to help him,
but were Tom Paris here, he would have ensured Neelix got some time
off.  Tom filled in for him no matter how busy or tired he was
himself.  And what about all the people who used to go to him for
advice on their personal and professional lives?  Where are they going
to go now?  And what about the Doctor and Sickbay?  Are you going to
be expected to take over as the Doctor's new Assistant?  You're a
mother and the Head of the Xenobiology Department.  You can't just
drop Naomi or your work and go running to Sickbay every time the
Doctor needs an assistant.  Tom Paris could because he didn't have a
daughter to look after and there always are plenty of capable pilots
available on board to take over his duties for a while.  He doesn't --
didn't have experiments going on he couldn't risk leaving lest they be
ruined.  It simply won't work.'

Groaning, she surged to her feet.  "Enough.  What's done is done and
can't be changed.  He's gone.  We'll all just have to live with that
fact."

With a mantle of guilt settling down upon her shoulders, she slowly
left her quarters to search for her daughter.

---

"I can tell from the look on your face that the Captain is no better,"
the Doctor remarked upon seeing the First Officer's entering his
domain.

Chakotay nodded his head.  "And I don't think I helped matters with
B'Elanna, either."  He briefly outlined his conversation with the
Chief Engineer and the hologram shook his head.

"I had about as much luck with her when I found her in Engineering
this morning."

The Commander refrained from saying: "He didn't doubt it."  The EMH
and B'Elanna hardly had the sort of relationship in which they would
have exchanged confidences, especially not when her quick temper
combined with his acerbic personality.  "Anyway, she's not doing well
emotionally either."

"Well, physically, they are both fine.  Not eating or resting as much
as they should of course, but those two never do."

"I'll work on both of them.  Once B'Elanna's calmed down.  I'll be in
my office for the next few hours working on something.  Tuvok has the
Bridge."  He was about to start for the door when the Doctor touched
his sleeve.

"There is something I wanted to discuss with you, Commander."

"Yes?"

"When I went to see Lieutenant Torres in Engineering, I did a quick
scan of her before I let her know I was present."  He tapped the
tricorder on a tray next to him.  "You remember the scans I showed you
from of her?"

Chakotay shook his head.

"My paper on shared pain?  I took multiple scans of her and Mr. Paris
trying to substantiate my theory?"

He frowned.

"My theory that when Mr. Paris re-bonded with her to save her life
after she began to react to the hormones from Raven introduced to her
system-"

"-That it had mutated and she was feeling his physical injuries," he
nodded.  "We've been through so much lately.  I'd forgotten about
that.  So something new has happened?"

"You could say that."  He led him over to the wall display.  "I hope
you at least remember me showing you this?"

He did not remember seeing the close-up view of a small section of
B'Elanna's DNA sequence and was trying to kindly phrase the words when
the EMH sighed dramatically.  Never had the Doctor missed the
Captain's quick comprehension of all situations scientific as much as
he did now.

"Watch this section right here.  I'm going to show you a quick
succession of DNA scans I have taken of Lieutenant Torres, starting
with the last one I did prior to Raven's arrival and ending with the
one I performed this morning."

With one hand he pointed to an area on the display while his other
tapped out a series of commands on the panel beside it.  The same
image flashed in quick succession with a slight difference in the area
indicated.

"There's a slight change."

"Exactly, Commander.  At this time it remains only an hypothesis, but
I think I've finally found evidence of the mutation that may be
causing the shared pain.  Reviewing the scans, I discovered it
appeared immediately after they re-bonded.  The shared pain appeared
not long after that."  He sighed at the results of the most recent
scan.  "Only the mutation's slowly being flushed from her system.  I
predict that given the rate of progression, within a week there will
be no trace left."

"How is this possible?"

"Oddly enough, it is her *human* DNA that is doing the attacking, not
the normally aggressive Klingon."

"So once the week's up this will all be gone and she won't feel it
when he's hurt anymore?"

"Again this still is only an hypothesis, but yes, if I am correct.  A
week and it will all be over."  He closed the file and faced his
audience.  "Which brings me to my next point.  Once the engines are
back online, I wish to request we go after Mr. Paris."

"Doctor-"

"I know you claim it was his decision to leave, but I wish to remind
you he had left Sickbay, against orders, only a short time prior to
making that decision.  He had been in here because I had performed
surgery to properly repair various injuries and he still was under the
influence of medication when he left both here and the ship.  It can
be argued he was not of sound mind when he made his decision
therefore-"

"Doctor, I know he's your friend and you want him back.  There are a
few on board who seem to want that too, only I saw him before he left.
He was lucid and rational, not deluded or disassociated.  He made his
decision of his own free will and we have to live by it."

"But-"

"You're as bad as the Captain and B'Elanna.  The Captain's questioning
her judgement.  B'Elanna's about this close to mounting some rescue
mission to go get him.  He left because he wanted to and he can get
home any time he wants.  Remember, Sunfire can open the Gopher Hole
herself."

The hologram's eyes narrowed.  "You seem rather blasé about this,
Commander."

"I don't see the reason for all this worry about him.  He is a grown
man who can more than take care of himself.  He made his decision.  We
should be spending our time worrying about ourselves and our
situation, not his."

His leaving Sickbay to head to his office ended the conversation.

---

The sound of feet pounding down the corridor towards him caused Geron
Tem to turn to see Ver Faran jogging towards him, grinning.  "What's
the hurry?" Geron called to his friend.

"You're off-duty, right?" Ver asked, slowing to a walk and wrapping an
arm around his fellow Bajoran's shoulder.

"Yeah, but I was just on my way to see Megan," he explained, finding
himself dragged along by Ver.

"She expecting you?"

"No, but-"

"Good."  He pivoted and led him into the nearby Hydroponics Bay then
stopped in the centre of the plant-filled room.  "Have I got news for
you."

"What?"

Ver did not answer as he did a cursory visual inspection of the bay.
When he was satisfied they were alone, he released his friend.  "Our
problems with Paris are truly over!" he grinned.

Geron frowned.  "What do you mean?"

"You remember months ago, Tuvok and Paris were hurt in a climbing
accident?"

"Yeah.  They were hurt bad.  Tuvok nearly died, but Paris saved his
life."

"Apparently while Paris was playing the hero yet again, Torres and Kim
were -- what did I hear Baytart call it once?  Uh... 'Playing
footsy.'"

This companion frowned down at his feet.

"They were fooling around, Tem!"

Having warmed up to his subject and expecting he had Geron's complete
attention, Ver began to wander about the area, gesturing with his
hands.  He did not notice Geron's posture become slack and his face
drain of colour.

"From what I overheard Carey and LaKeysha saying, Paris left some
message for Torres saying he had found out Kim and Torres were having
an affair behind his back and couldn't take it so he left.  This thing
with the Captain refusing the Rachar's request, it had nothing to do
with him going.  He left because he couldn't take Torres cheating on
him with his best friend."

"Why-" He cleared his throat.  "Why do they think this is why he
really left?"

"Because he wrote Torres a note on a padd and left it in Engineering
for her.  Why he did that and not just sent the note directly to her
database, I don't know.  Maybe he thought giving her the padd would
ensure she read it right away and she'd go running after him to say it
was all a big mistake or something.  I don't know, and it doesn't
matter.  Now that he thinks there's something going on between them,
he'll do the *honourable* thing and stay away.  That's just the kind
of man he pretends he is.  And we're finally rid of him, Tem!  You
don't have to worry anymore about Megan leaving you for him.  And we
don't have to live with a traitor to the Maquis giving us orders.
It's beautiful.  Maybe he'll even get himself killed by the Gherop and
we'll really be rid of him forever for sure."

"Ayala to Ver," the man's combadge chirped.

"Go ahead," Ver called.

"Thought you were going to come help with-"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot.  I'm on my way.  Ver out.  Got to go, Tem," he
apologized, brushing passed his friend.  "See you later.  We'll have a
drink to celebrate."

As the doors closed behind his fellow Bajoran, Geron wrapped his arms
around himself and fell to his knees.  "I don't understand," he said
aloud to the Prophets to whom nearly all Bajorans prayed.  "When I
last saw him, he didn't believe what I was telling him.  It was
obvious from the look on his face.  What changed that?"

In response to a comment from either his conscience or the Prophets,
he nodded.  "What changed his mind doesn't matter, no.  What does is
this wasn't what I wanted when I told him about what Jenny and Nozawa
had seen on Dartin VIII.  I was angry.  Angry at Paris for hurting
Megan. Even if he'd done it to chase her away so she'd stop defending
him to the others and they wouldn't ostracise her too.  And angry at
Megan for still being so concerned about him that she had to rush into
Sickbay, even kiss him as he slept, and ask the Doctor to tell him she
wanted to see him when he awoke."  He paused and swallowed hard.  "And
angry at myself for not having whatever it is Paris has that makes
Megan love him no matter what he's done."

Geron bowed his head.  "When I told him the truth about Torres and Kim
and asked Jenny over the comm to confirm it... All I'd wanted to do
was strike out at him, to make him hurt like I was hurting.  I didn't
intended for him to leave the ship, certainly not if there was a
chance he might be killed.  All I wanted was get him out of Megan's
life so I could go back to being the important one to her.  But if
Paris dies... If Paris dies, his death's on my head and I know it.
Just tell me what to do to fix this."

He listened for a long moment, hoping he would receive an answer.
Then he did.  There was only one way he ever could make up for his
malicious intent -- get Paris returned to Voyager.

Only that would bring Paris back to Megan and his problems would start
all over again.

But if Paris died....

Shoulders slumped, Geron left the bay, knowing what he had to do.

-------

When Sam walked into the Hydroponics Bay only moments after Geron had
left, she began physically searching the area, not merely visually.
Because of this slight difference in searching style, she found what
Ver and Geron did not -- Naomi, hidden from view behind some large
plants.

"Naomi?"

Wide-eyed, the child turned to her mother and stared at her for a long
moment then stood up and ran out without a word.

Concerned, Sam followed along behind her.

---

"Come."

Tentatively, Geron stepped into the First Officer's office.  He never
looked at the man seated behind the desk, but at a point over his left
shoulder.  "Commander, I have a request."

"What is it?"

"I respectfully request we go after Mr. Paris when the engines are
back online."

"Geron-"

"Sir, I've heard others have voiced the same request and I wish to add
my vote."

"Crewman, this is not a democracy.  If anything, it's a benevolent
dictatorship.  This is the Captain's ship.  She is the one who decides
our course."

The Bajoran's eyes finally shifted to those of the man he was
addressing.  "But she does listen to advice from her senior officers.
And anyway, I've heard she's been hiding out in her Ready Room since
the engines went offline.  That you're really the one in charge now,
not her."

"Crewman, whatever you may have heard, this still is the Captain's
ship.  And you're this close to suggesting mutiny."

"Chakotay-"

"Dismissed."

"But-"

"Dismissed."

Very reluctantly, Geron left.

Chakotay sighed and leaned back in his chair.  'What am I supposed to
make of that?' he wondered.  'There certainly was no love lost between
Paris and Geron, well from Geron towards Paris anyway.  Paris always
seemed to have tried to be friendly with Geron with little positive
response from the Bajoran, but what would suddenly prod Geron to
throwing his vote in with the pro-Paris lot?  He should be happy Paris
was gone or apathetic at the least.  Why this out of character move?'

Propping his elbows on his desktop, he rested his face in his hands.
Geron was not the only one who was acting out of character.  After he
had left Sickbay, he had found himself thinking about his conversation
with the Doctor, silently disparaging the EMH for asking they go after
Paris.  It was when he had realized what he was doing that he at last
had seen the true meaning behind what he had said to the Doctor and
why he was so angry when he had uttered his final words to the EMH.

Paris and Sunfire had left them to die.  When the Gherop had been
detected, they had not returned to help defend Voyager.  Had Voyager
not been able to evade them, they would have gone under attack and
might not have won this time now that E'Arte's order to capture
Voyager without too much damage was lifted.  They could have used the
smaller ship's firepower against the full assault of the Gherop's
weapons.  No one knew better than Sunfire and Paris what those weapons
entailed. They had gone up against them before.  And they had to have
still been in range when Voyager had detected the Gherop approaching.
Had to have been.  But they had ignored Voyager's peril and left them
to be potentially destroyed.  So far he seemed to be the only one who
had seen that fact, yet he knew later, when the engines were back
online and everyone had time to think again, then they too would see
what he saw.  That would bring an end to all this nonsense about
risking Voyager and their lives to go after a man who did not want to
come back and clearly did not care if they lived or died.

Shaking his head, he sat back, arms falling to his lap, and returned
to grimacing at the computer on his desk.  It still displayed the
discovery he had made just before Geron had interrupted him.

He had searched the crew's records for the third best holoprogrammer
on board and found a couple of possible candidates for the project so
that was not going to be a problem.  Actually doing the work was.

It seemed creating the holographic counsellor was not going to be a
simple matter of imputing a couple of algorithms, downloading the
entire psychology database into its matrix, and poof, an Emergency
Counselling Hologram or ECH for short.  He had reviewed the detailed
records of the EMH's creation and Kim's reports on the time he and
Paris had attempted to create a new EMH while theirs was in the Alpha
Quadrant thanks to the Hirogen relay.  In doing so, he had discovered
adding in the contents of the database in such a way it did not
overwhelm the holomatrix was going to be a computational nightmare.
Almost as much of a the amount of studying and planning needed just to
decide on the gender, species, and appearance of the ECH.
Considerations had to be made for personal biases and preferences
amongst the intended recipients of the counselling.  The last thing
they needed was to introduce a Klingon or Cardassian as a counsellor.
The entire idea was for the crew to relax and feel they could talk to
the ECH, not feel they should be bringing a bat'leth with them for
their own safety or try to murder it to avenge past grievances.

And he, she, or it could not be overly attractive.  He had seen first
hand how Seven and her looks could turn those around her into
incoherent, drooling idiots.  To himself only, he would admit to a
little of that himself at first, but they did not need the
counsellor's time taken up with frivolous complaints masking mere
excuses to drool over him, her, or it.

Then there was the gender issue.  Who would be easier for the majority
of the crew to talk to -- a female or a male or someone androgynous?
Probably not that latter, but still....  So many things to consider
before the personality can be designed.  So much thought had to be put
into it or the crew might as well be talking to the ship's computer.

So now he was left wondering if they really wanted to undertake this
mammoth project when there was a chance they might be getting home
soon.  Was there anyone on board who had the patience and abilities to
do the actual work with any degree of success?  Would anyone want to
take on such a task?  He did not know.

He shut off his computer and began to pace.  "Maybe there's a way
around this," he began to himself.  "Some way to spare us all this
work.  Even if it is a quick fix.  Something to hold us all together
until we get home to real counsellors or give us some breathing room
while we work on the ECH.

Chakotay shook his head, trying to clear it so he could think.  It
would not clear.  His mind was too overwhelmed with the work ahead of
them and the events of the passed few days to let him think clearly.

Knowing what he needed to do to find some focus, he contacted Tuvok
over the comm to if see everything was going smoothly on board for the
moment.  At the Vulcan's affirmative, he told the Security Chief where
he could find him if things changed, then he left his office for his
quarters to contact his spirit guide.

'This never fails to help make sense of things,' he thought as he
entered his quarters and began setting out the things he would need
for his journey.

He stopped short.  Spirit guide.  That was it!  Why waste the time to
create an ECH when he simply could introduce everyone on the crew to
his or her spirit guide?  True, there were some on the crew who
probably were not ready to meet their spirit guides and some, like a
certain Chief Engineer, who might not take to the guides that some
higher power had assigned to them, but the attempt to get there could
be beneficial too.

Smiling for the first time in days, he lit the aromatic candles he
sometimes used to relax him and put him in the right frame of mind to
do this then seated himself on the deck to begin.

---

"Any word yet about the Rachar on Voyager or Sunfire?"

"None yet, R'Co, but our ships are still looking."

"I see.  What about the P'Ro?"

"We still can't find.  This U'Pde is a seasoned veteran of many
battles.  He knows all the tricks for not being found.  And grief over
the death of a loved ones can blind one to duty."

"Blind or not, I want him and that ship found before they get to
Voyager and Sunfire.  If he has his way, he'll destroy them, not
capture them."

"Yes, R'Co."

Having sad all she was going to say on the matter, she preened a
little.  "So, what do you think, T'Ne?"

The court chamberlain repressed the urge to cringe at outrageous
outfit of the soon-to-be Gherop Leader.  If T'Do had been obsessive
about courtly manners and ornate speech, R'Co was equally obsessed
with demonstrating her new status and greater wealth through
over-the-top displays of her material possessions.  What she currently
was trying on was a prime example of that.

"The court has never seen the likes of it ever before," he answered in
all honesty.  "But, if I may, R'Co?  During the Ceremony the official
robes and head-dress will be placed on you and are to be worn for the
remainder of the Ceremony.  Your... attire will make that impossible."

"Then they will have to be altered."

Relieved, T'Ne nodded.  Finally he had won a battle of common sense
with this one who appeared as devoid of it as she was of taste.

The outfit's designer -- who, in truth, had been little more than a
recorder of R'Co's "vision" -- nearly collapsed at the thought of even
more summonses to the future Leader's chamber in the middle of the
night.  He was tired of doing more "improvements" to the design
because she had been inspired by some dream she had just had.  He had
not seen his family in so long, he had forgotten how many children he
had and of what gender.

The designer's assistants, slaves from a world that only had been
deemed "worthy of conquering because of its people's skills with
fabrics and stitchery," already despised R'Co for her outlandish
clothing more than they did her for keeping them as slaves.  The
prospect of yet more work on what already was an insult to their
people's most valued profession made them start yet again to think up
plans for assassinating the monster they were dressing.  They were
almost beyond caring about the fact they would be executed if caught,
the insult to their art and sensibilities was so great.

"Have the robes and head-dress removed from the vaults and brought to
me.  I'll need to start planning their alterations immediately."

"The robes and... But they are the robes and headdress of the Gherop
Leader.  They have been since the Empire founded.  They haven't been
altered in any way since the assassination of N'Tre the Invincible
during his Ceremony.  Then it was only to repair the spear holes.
Before that, they weren't touched except for routine maintenance."

"Then it is about time they were updated."

"But they are treasures of the Empire.  The laws state all Imperial
treasures must be preserved.  Any alterations to them or destruction
of them is strictly forbidden."

R'Co glared at him in the mirror.  "I am the future Leader, am I not?"
she demanded menacingly.

"Yes, R'Co, but-"

"Then I am above the laws."

Unfortunately, where state treasures were concerned, she was correct
in saying she was above the law since technically they did belong to
her as head of state.

"Do as commanded," she continued, "or I shall find myself someone who
will take your place."

"Yes, R'Co," he nodded stiffly.  'Maybe that outfit will cut off the
circulation to her brain and kill her and solve all my problems,' he
mused blackly as he strode out of the Imperial chamber's sitting room.

---

Q's mate glared at him.

For humans and other corporeal and even non-corporeal lifeforms for
whom the passage of time was a measurable phenomena, this fight had
been going on for months.  For the practically immortal Q for whom
time had little to no meaning, it had been a mere blink of an eye.
During this blink, the feuding couple had insulted every idea the
other had ever had, everything the other had ever done, and every word
the other had ever said and now they had finished doing the same for
each other's friends and acquaintances.  Left with nothing else to
complain about or disparage, they had lapsed into a tense staring
match, each waiting for the other to cave so they could finally win
the argument and have bragging rights until the next argument.

As usual, it was Q who blinked first.  The male one.  And as always,
he pretended it was not because he could not withstand her censorious
look.  This time he pretended it was concern over their Q-ling that
was the reason for his distraction.

"Where's q?"

She glanced around.  "He was right over there."

"Well, he's not now."

"His father can't stay focused on anything for long.  Why should he be
any different?"

He shot her a sour look then resumed his search.

"There he is over there."

His head whipped around to see where she was pointing.  "What's he
doing the- I know that one."

"Helmboy," she grimaced.

"What's q doing with him?  And what's that one doing so far from
Voyager."

"And you, of course, are going to go find out.  Honestly, I cannot
understand your fascination with these humans.  There are so many far
more evolved species that are so much more interesting to study.  Why
them?"  The last word was spat out.

Q smiled smugly, knowing how much his next words would irritate her.
"And it seems Q's inherited that fascination too."

The barb hit home.  As they winked out of existence on one plane,
intending to reappear on the one where their son was, she resumed
glaring at Q.

---

"I just don't understand," Megan sighed heavily to her lunchtime
companion -- Sue Nicoletti.

"Don't understand what?" LaKeysha asked, lowering her pregnant self to
the last empty chair at the table.

"You're out of Sickbay," Sue Nicoletti smiled, stating the obvious.
"Where's your shadow?"

"Who?  Faran or the Doctor?  I haven't had a moment's peace since I
was beamed into Sickbay yesterday.  One or both of them have been
hovering over me."

"Well, it is understandable.  I saw the fall you took in Engineering.
I'm not surprised they're concerned about you and the baby.  We all
were."

LaKeysha nodded and sighed.  "Anyway, the Doctor finally had to let me
out since my readings still were normal and Faran had some things to
do before he went on duty for Beta shift so I'm all alone.  At last.
So," she drawled, tucking in to her large lunch, "what don't you
understand, Megan?"

The lieutenant from Stellar cartography continued to pick at her food.

"She's obsessing about Tom Paris' leaving," Sue explained.  "I keep
trying to tell her she has to forget about him.  He's gone."  She sent
a meaningful glance in the redhead's direction.  "Besides, after
whatever happened between the two of you before he, Seven of Nine, and
Neelix went off on their mining trip for yatelite, I wouldn't think
you'd be happy to never see him again.  What *did* happen anyway?"

"What happened was between us," Megan snapped, "and is no one else's
business.  And I now realize he wouldn't have said what he said
without a good reason.  I still don't know what it was, but it has to
have been a good one otherwise he wouldn't have said it.  I just wish
he were here so I could make him tell me what it was."  She shook her
head.  "I can't understand why he left.  It *is* just like him to want
to play hero -- it's a big part of his nature to try to rescue people
-- but the Rachar really didn't need rescuing.  They were safely on a
moon outside of Gherop territory, in a system that was of little
interest to anyone other than farmers or anthropologists.  They would
have escaped the Gherop notice easily there.  So if they didn't need a
hero, why'd he really go?"

LaKeysha had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from blurting out
what she knew.  It would give only slight comfort to the upset woman
before her to know a possible reason for his departure, but it still
was only a *possible* one.  Until Joe Carey talked to Torres and Kim,
they would not know if they were interpreting the note correctly.  And
she did not want to gossip anyway.  B'Elanna would kill her.

So, instead of saying any about the note, she merely sighed.  "I
really liked him, you know.  I'm sad to see him gone."  She rubbed her
very pregnant stomach.  "I'd hoped he would be the one to deliver this
one. He'd been there throughout the rest of the pregnancy and he was
very good with me.  It would have been... calming to have him there."

"Ver will be there," Sue reminded her.

LaKeysha grimaced.  "That's not exactly comforting.  I love Faran, I
really do, but there are times I'd gladly knock him into next week.
And you know I grew up in a mining colony and my four older brothers
and seven cousins taught me how to take care of myself so you know I
could do it.  I did TKO a couple of guys in the Maquis."  She sighed.
"You know, this birth actually might be calmer without them butting
heads.  I still can't understand Faran's hatred of Tom.  He always was
polite to Faran, even if he only got grief in return."

Sue nodded.  "I'm going to miss him too, I think," she admitted.  "I
liked him, even when he was chasing me constantly, back before Torres
caught his eye.  And the rest of him too."

"Everyone's talking like Tom's dead!" Megan yelled, jumping to her
feet.  "He's not!  He's out there, somewhere, with strangers, because
the people who supposedly loved him and cared about him, his *family*,
drove him away.  He needed us and we turned our backs on him."  Her
voice broke.  "We abandoned him so it's no wonder he abandoned us."

In a scene reminiscent of that of B'Elanna during the breakfast, she
choked back a sob and ran out, the eyes of everyone in the Mess Hall
on her.

---

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

B'Elanna darted a glance sideways at Geron as he fell into step with
her.  "I'm on my way to Engineering," she told him, not slowing in her
strides down the corridor.

"I just...."  He grabbed a hold of her arm and tugged her to a halt.
"I just wanted to tell you if you need help with whatever you have
planned to get Paris back here... I'm in."

She blinked in shock at her former Maquis colleague.  "You?"

He kept his eyes everywhere but on her.  "Yes," he said, releasing her
arm.  "Whatever I can do."

"There's a meeting in my quarters tonight at 1800.  You can come to
that."  She did not even try to keep the surprise from showing in her
voice.  "I don't know quite what you can do that's not already being
done, but you can come and give an opinion."

"Good."  Without another word, Geron went back the way he had come.

B'Elanna watched after him until he went around a corner.  'And what
brought that on?' she wondered.  'He can't stand Tom.  Everyone knows
it.'  Shrugging, she continued on to Engineering.  Now that the four
hours the Doctor had dictated she leave Engineering for were up, she
was intent on getting back there and seeing what she could do to speed
up the repair process.

---

Chakotay opened his eyes to see the familiar meadow around him.  Warm
fur brushed his left hand and he drew his eyes from the tranquil scene
before him to see his spirit guide, the wolf, at his side.

*You are worried,* she pronounced.

"Yes."

*What concerns you?*

"My crewmates.  They are falling apart at the seams.  Psychologically,
I mean.  I was hoping to guide them here one by one so each could meet
his or her guide.  Maybe their guides will be able to help them work
out their problems."

The wolf slowly blinked at him.  *You are certain they shall wish to
risk it, knowing what happened to the last one you guided here?*

Instinctively, Chakotay looked off in the direction towards where the
dense, dark forest had been the time he had ventured here in search of
Tom Paris.  The forest still was gone.  The next time he had visited
this place, after Paris was well out of it, he had seen it had
disappeared.  The wolf had said the forest had left when Paris had
exited it and not returned.  Whether it would return if he ever
returned to this place, he did not know.  For Paris' sake, Chakotay
hoped not, even though he knew the forest merely was a manifestation
of the man's own past actions and buried secrets.

"I don't know.  Most on the ship don't know how bad it was for him,
either here or back in the physical world.  Some might be a little
intimidated, maybe, but most know it was the baggage he brought with
him that put him through all that, not anything here.  I don't think
anyone on board has the kind of baggage he has.  And since we know he
was the only AlphaOmegan on board Voyager, they have no cause to worry
about something like that happening to him."

*But fear of the unknown can be worse than that of the known.*

He nodded and paused for a long moment.

The wolf remained unfazed by the silence.

"That is another reason why I'm here," he abruptly said.  "Fear of the
unknown.  Fear for him."

*It is not you who has the fear for him,* she pronounced.

"No, I know he's a survivor.  He's lived this long without anything
being able to kill him, I figure he'll outlive all of us."

*But there are others who fear for him.*

"Yes.  They fear for his safety.  I guess I'm hoping you might be able
to ask his spirit guide if he's all right."

She stared at him for a long moment.

"Please.  Even if I don't think he deserves our concern, Kathryn does.
She's so worried about him I can't console her.  And B'Elanna...."

The wolf watched him for a moment longer then walked away, towards the
lone tree in the middle of the meadow.

Chakotay scrambled to follow her.  He recognized the tree.  It was the
same one that had stood there since his first visit to this meadow so
many years ago.  And he remembered the time he had seen it when Paris
had been inside the forest.  It had been the first and only time he
had seen the spirit guides of Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres.  Before
this, that was.

On different branches of the dead tree perched the bedraggled golden
eagle who was the pilot's guide and a morose-looking peregrine falcon
belonging to the engineer.  He received the impression the falcon was
looking longingly at the down-bent head of the eagle, who seemed so
absorbed in his own pain that he did not notice her stare.  Deep in
his chest, Chakotay felt his heart contract like something or someone
was squeezing it.

"This-" He cleared his rough throat and tried again.  "This is because
he's gone?"

*The two to whom they are companions are very hurt and confused right
now.  They both feel much pain.*

"Which their spirit guides suffer as well."

*Of course.*

He watched the eagle closely.  Despite its shabby appearance, it did
not appear to be physically injured in any way.  That gave him a
little hope he could take back to Kathryn and B'Elanna.  Maybe when he
did, they would start to snap out of their respective depressions.
Then they could get back to concentrating on the important things --
like refining the yatelite that had been collected and getting the
ship ready for the trip through the Gopher Hole.

*The sight of them amuses you?*

Chakotay blinked and shook his head at her.  "Just thinking of the
future."

*You are happy to see that one's companion gone.  Even though you can
see how much it hurts her and her companion?*

He paused.

*He was your friend once.*

"He..."

*You helped him come here.  There are very few you have done that for.
And your concern for him when he was here and in trouble -- that did
not seem... feigned.*

Turning away from the tree and the sad pair in it, he began to walk
across the meadow towards the river in the distance.  As he walked, he
remembered how this mess had began.

The bet with B'Elanna that Paris had lost.

Paris asking if having contact with his spirit guide was what made
Chakotay so calm all the time and if it could do the same for him.

The Hell Paris had gone through because the akoonah had reacted with
the Implant cloaked deep inside his brain.

The tiny device in his head beginning to fail and the memories of his
past begin to surface.  His finally returning from here to the real
world and beginning to withdraw from them.

Though at the time Paris had refused to tell them what actually had
happened, everyone had wondered if it were something to do with the
akoonah.  While neither Carey nor Vorik could find anything wrong with
it, Chakotay had secretly worried about using his akoonah again after
that.  The one Paris had used had been dismantled by the engineers and
sent for matter recycling when they were done so he was not using the
same one, but he still had worried because if Paris could have a bad
reaction to it then so anyone could.  'Was it wise to try it again?'
he had asked himself.

He stopped dead in his tracks, at last remembering something long
forgotten.

Before Alpha shift on the morning The Diogenes appeared and the drama
that had revealed Paris' secret had begun, Paris had contacted him
over the comm just as he was servicing his akoonah and made an
appointment to see him after shift.  At the time Chakotay had been
unable to figure out what the reason for the meeting was to be.  Many
things had crossed his mind, yet all had been discounted in light of
the odd tone to Paris' voice when he had been speaking to him.  As he
wrapped up the akoonah to put it away, a bizarre thought came to him.
Did Paris want to see his spirit guide again?  At Naomi Wildman's
birthday party the day before Kathryn had brought up the subject of
her spirit guide and her last visit to see it.  He had not thought
Paris was paying attention to anyone other than B'Elanna at that
moment, but had he heard what the Captain had said?  Had he viewed his
previous bad experience with this place as a challenge and wanted to
come back to try to conquer it again?  That certainly was something
Paris would do. And that would have explained why he had sounded
almost nervous when he had been talking to him.

Only it did not make sense anymore.  He now knew what really had
happened with Paris and the akoonah, everyone did.  Had Paris really
been so desperate to know more about his past that he was willing to
endure the Hell of the forest yet again just in the hopes of learning
something more?  Knowing him, it was possible.

Chakotay sat on a large, water-smoothed rock to think.  His spirit
guide silently sat at his side watching the rainbow trout darting
about, looking for food.

---

"Sam?"

"Oh, Neelix, hi."

Neelix looked from the Jefferies tube hatch Sam Wildman was
uncertainly staring at to the woman then back again.  "Something
wrong?"

"Naomi's in there somewhere."

"Why?"

The mother heaved a sigh.  "She's still mad at me, at everyone really.
Lieutenant Paris' leaving."

Her daughter's godfather nodded.  "And she's taken refuge in there..."

"So she doesn't have to see us, yes."

"I see."

"What do I do, Neelix?  I can't just leave her in there, but I have a
department meeting in half an hour and I haven't prepared for it yet."

He put an arm around her and smiled reassuringly.  "This sounds like a
godfatherly duty if I ever heard of one."

"Would you mind?  I can't get through to her."

"You go and I'll see what I can do."

Smiling her thanks, Sam shot a final worried look towards the hatch
and departed.

Neelix asked the computer for confirmation of Naomi's position and
discovered his goddaughter was a good crawl through the tubes away
from his current position.  'A bit of exercise might do you good,' he
tried to fool himself into believing.  He took a deep breath and
opened the hatch.

---

"Commander," Seven nodded to Tuvok as he entered Astrometrics.

"I was running a diagnostic on the security systems," he began without
preamble, "when it came to my attention you were accessing the ship's
defensive systems and I became curious as to the purpose.  I
investigated and discovered it was not merely our defences you were
interested in, but those of the Gherop ships as well.  Do you have any
indication of an eminent Gherop attack and have not shared it with
us?"

"No, Commander," she denied, continuing her work.

"Then you are involved in Lieutenant Torres' plan to go after
Lieutenant Paris."

Guiltily, she paused in summoning up a new file.

"I am Chief of Security," he explained, coming to her side.  "There is
little that occurs on Voyager that I am unaware of.  Yet even if I had
not heard rumours of her intentions, I would have expected her to do
something of this sort.  I know the strength of the emotional bond the
two of them share.  Therefore, logic would dictate she would use the
opportunity the ship's immobility provided to devise a plan for
retrieving Mr. Paris once we were able to travel again."

Unable to refute the statement, she nodded.

He raised his right hand a little and showed her the padd he carried.
"I too have been working on modifications that may be useful should we
encounter more Gherop.  Perhaps we can work together?"

Seven nodded.  "She is having a meeting in her quarters at 1800.  We
are to bring whatever ideas we have to it.  Your presence would be
welcomed."

"I will be present."

"Right now I must check on the progress of the yatelite refining, but
perhaps later we can meet and compare notes?"

"My quarters at 1700?"

"That will be acceptable."

They exchanged nods and parted ways.

---

"May I come in?"

B'Elanna's head snapped up from the padd she was reviewing and she
began to growl "Go away."  In mid-syllable, she stopped at the look on
Megan Delaney's face and nodded instead.

Checking to see the door shut behind her, the visitor moved further
into the Chief's office.  "Lieuten- B'Elanna, I... I'm just going to
get to the point."  She toyed with the padd in her hands in an
uncustomary display of awkwardness.  "Look, whatever you're planning,
I'm with you."

B'Elanna frowned.  "What do you mean?"

"Tom.  However you're planning to get Tom back or get us to him, I'm
ready to help you."

"I...."

"I heard the Commander talking to you at breakfast in the Mess Hall
and I know if it were me, I'd be just as willing to do anything and
everything to get him back with us."  She hastily looked over her
shoulder to ensure the door still was closed.  "Even stealing a
shuttle if necessary."  She perched on the chair before the desk and
shoved her padd towards B'Elanna.  "I've calculated the fastest route
to New Rachar from here.  Once the engines are back on line, we can
create some sort of diversion and get away with a shuttle.  It
shouldn't be too hard.  You're Chief Engineer after all.  You have the
command codes to block or temporarily send the sensors offline so they
don't see us go until it's too late for them to stop us.  Janeway will
take off after us of course, but we'll have a lead on them."

'First Geron offering to help and he'd never liked Tom,' she thought,
'now Megan, who had liked Tom, but not her.'  Automatically, she
became suspicious.

The half-Klingon focused narrowed gaze on the human.  The two of them
never had been friends.  The only thing they ever had had in common
other than Voyager was Tom Paris.  She as his current girlfriend,
Megan as his former.  That fact alone seemed to preclude any sort of
friendship being forged between the two of them.  B'Elanna had not
considered herself the jealous type before becoming involved with Tom.
She usually had avoided relationships so as to protect herself from
emotional harm.  The continuing presence of this woman in Tom's life,
however, made her want to grab Tom Paris and mark him as hers so
thoroughly it would leave no doubt as to whose he was.  It did not
seem to matter that there was nothing but friendly affection between
the former lovers or that Megan was involved with Geron Tem.  She
still wanted to challenge Megan to some sort of duel for Tom.

And then there was the other reason, the reason she did not like to
admit.  Megan intimidated her.  Like Susan Nicoletti, Megan Delaney
was everything B'Elanna saw herself as not being.  Beautiful, popular,
desirable.  Even if Tom had not been in the picture, she would have
felt jealous that this woman embodied everything she wanted to be and
seemingly did so with little effort at all.  The Fates were so cruel
sometimes.

"Why are you doing this?" B'Elanna asked suspiciously and with a touch
of hostility.

"Tom's my friend," Megan stated simply.  "I don't know if it really is
because the Captain said no to the Rachar's request that made him
leave or if it was the way everyone was treating him or not, but I
want him to know some of us don't want him to go.  And I want to have
the chance to say goodbye if he's serious about never coming back."

Where they lay on her lap, B'Elanna's hands clenched into fists.  'If
only Megan knew the truth,' she thought sadly.  'That half the reason
Tom had gone sat right before her and the other half was on the Bridge
or in Astrometrics or wherever Harry was.

She mentally gasped.  Harry!  She still had not told Harry that Tom
knew about what had happened on Dartin VIII, or something about it
anyway, and that it was the real reason Tom had left Voyager.  There
just had not been time.  Too many repairs and too much time spent
trying to figure out how to get Tom back.  Harry had to be told and
right away.

"B'Elanna?"

Surfacing from her thoughts, the woman behind the desk blinked
rapidly.  Right after she dealt with this one, she would look for
Harry.  "They would discover the tampering and even if we could
convince Tom to come back with us, the Captain would throw both of us
in the Brig and it would be a long time before we were able to see Tom
again.  And what if we ran into the Gherop?  A shuttle is no match for
their weapons."

"So what do we do?  Take Voyager somehow and go?"

"Mutiny?  We'd surely end up in the Brig then."

"Then what do we do?  You have to be thinking of something.  I heard
Chakotay say as much."

She watched the woman for a long moment then queued up the relevant
files on her own padd and handed it over, explaining the contents as
she did.  "Everything we know about New Rachar, including her exact
position, relative to ours, plus starcharts.  The second file is
everything about Sunfire.  In their free time, what little there is of
it, Joe and Vorik are looking into Sunfire's design, trying to find
some way to trace her just in case she's run into trouble on her way
to New Rachar.  Tom won't have taken the direct route there, even if
her warp trail's untraceable.  If something happened and he's no where
near New Rachar, we might be forever looking for him without an easy
way to do it."

"We could just try hailing him."  Immediately she pointed out the
illogic in that suggestion.  "Only if we did, the Gherop might
intercept the communication and Tom might be mad enough to refuse to
answer us anyway."

The Chief nodded.  "That's why I haven't tried that.  We're sitting
ducks here without use of the engines."

"What about the rest here?  Analysis of the Gherop weapons and our
defences?"

"I've asked Seven to see if she can improve our chances of survival
against the Gherop."

"Does she know why she's doing it?"

"Yes, she knows.  She guessed."

"And she's not going to blow the whistle on us?"

"No, she says 'Voyager is at a disadvantage without him' and that she
'has noticed his absence has adversely effected the morale of most of
the crew, including her own morale, though she can't quite understand
why she is feeling his absence so acutely.'"

Megan half-smiled.  "Tom's always tried to be a friend to her.  I
guess she's finally realizing that."

B'Elanna nodded.  "Anyway, the last file's a list of arguments in
favour of going after Tom and trying to convince him to come back.
Once the engines are back online and everyone else's finished with
their parts of this, I'll go to the Captain and lay the arguments and
our recommendations all out before her.  She has to see the logic in
it."

"But what if she says 'no?'  From what I've heard, she's been acting
strange the last couple of days.  Word has it she hasn't left her
Ready Room since she found out the engines were offline."

"If we work hard enough, we can make the evidence so compelling she
won't have any other option than to say 'yes.'"

The redhead frowned at the list.  "I can't read this."

"My shorthand."  She reached out for it, tapped in a couple of
commands then handed it back.  "Great for when I'm doing performance
reviews. No one can read them if they get nosy."

Megan began to quote from the list of arguments B'Elanna had amassed.
"'Tom Paris and Sunfire are the most knowledgeable about the Gopher
Hole therefore necessary in case something not covered in the briefing
crops up.'  I just hope the AlphaOmegans weren't lying to us when they
gave us the information."

"They lied about almost everything else, why not it too?  But Tom and
Sunfire confirmed it and I trust Tom and he trusts Sunfire so if they
say it will work, it will."

She nodded then continued.  "'If Voyager's unsuccessful in returning
to the Alpha Quadrant, we will be in need of the best personnel we can
get and he's the best pilot period and most qualified medic if
something happens to the EMH.'  Knock on wood it doesn't become
necessary," Megan hoped, rapping on her forehead with her knuckles.
"'Also his knowledge of Voyager and her systems makes him a security
risk for the ship if he is captured and forced to furnish his captors
with the knowledge necessary to take over Voyager.'"  She looked up
from the padd.  "That should get her attention, especially after what
the Gherop tried to do to Harry."

B'Elanna nodded.

"'And if we do reach the Alpha Quadrant without Tom, Admiral Paris is
not going to be pleased his son was left behind.'"  Megan smiled.
"Even if he and Tom aren't speaking to one another, he still is Tom's
father and he wouldn't be happy to hear his son had been left behind
in the Delta Quadrant."

"Exactly.  The Admiral maybe a rotten father, but he was her mentor.
She'd do practically anything to please him."  She shook her head at
the thought of anyone willingly trying to please the man who had so
hurt Tom all his life.  "And that's as much as I've been able to come
up with.  There are other arguments that come to mind but...." She
shrugged.

"They all seem to be emotionally motivated and selfish."

Tom's mate blinked in surprise.

His former girlfriend smiled in self-deprecation.  "Nothing I haven't
been telling myself too.  If we barge into her Ready Room and demand
Voyager go get Tom because we don't want to lose him from our lives,
she's going to reject us on the spot because we're just thinking of
ourselves and what we want instead of what is best for the ship.
Otherwise I too would have been in there in a flash the moment I heard
he was gone."

B'Elanna said nothing for a long moment as she watched the other woman
appraisingly.  "You still love him," she finally said in a soft voice.

Megan smiled crookedly.  "Not the way you do, no.  I don't think it
was ever that kind of love between Tom and I anyway, but he is my
friend and he's always treated me very well and been there for me
whenever I needed him."  Her smile broadened a little.  "And he was
the one who gave me the encouragement to go after Tem.  So, yes, I do
love Tom in a way."

The other woman's eyes dropped as she thought back over the passed
year and a half that she and Tom had been together as a couple.

How many times had he been there for her when she needed someone to
vent her frustrations to or give tacit support when she had to make
hard decisions?  More times than she could count.  And where had she
been when he had needed her?  After the akoonah had Awoken him to who
and what he really was, he had not been able to talk to her.  She had
been there, but he had not felt he could tell her the truth and have
her understand.  And he had been right.  Look what had happened when
she had found out what he had done.  After the AlphaOmegans' funeral,
when he could have used her support the most, she left him, too much
in horror of his past to stay when he needed her.

And the thing with Raven.  It might not have been her fault, but it
still caused him immeasurable pain and when it was over he had been
light years away so she could not tell him how sorry she felt for what
had happened.  Then when he had returned, he had left again before she
could see him to talk things through.

And then there was Harry.  If only they had told Tom about their
having kissed each other and why at the time it had happened.  Well,
perhaps not at the time it had happened.  Tom had had too much to
handle with Tuvok's consciousness temporarily in residence in his
body.  To have told him then could have been more than the already
emotionally and mentally taxed Tom could have taken and would have
meant Tuvok would have been dragged into their personal life more than
he already was. Some things just needed to be kept private.  A mistake
like what had happened in the park on Dartin VIII had been one of
those private things.

'There would be no more mistakes from now on,' she vowed.  She would
fix things between her and Tom ASAP and never let anything come
between them again.

"Okay," she said with sudden resolve, "this is what we're going to do.
Baytart's working on finding the safest route to New Rachar.  Not the
fastest, the safest.  Asking the Captain to put Voyager at major risk
is not the way to get her to let us go after him.  If you could help
him?  And maybe you could see if you can help Seven, too?  They and
the others are bringing whatever they've come up with so far to my
quarters at 1800 tonight.  I expect to have the engines back online by
tomorrow morning at the latest so we don't have much time."

"Got it.  I'll be there."

Megan gave her a smile and turned to leave.

"Geron came to see me a few minutes ago," B'Elanna said, toying with
the things on her desk.  "He offered to help too."  She looked up to
see Megan's reaction and was not disappointed.

The human slowly about-faced and gaped at her.

B'Elanna nodded.

Megan looked off into space, processing what she had been told.  A big
smile broke out on her face and she hugged a startled B'Elanna then
flew out.

Half-smiling, B'Elanna leaned back in her chair and half-smiled at
the woman's back.  'She might actually be all right,' she mused to
herself.  'Tom always said she was a good friend once you gave her a
chance.  And you always could use more friends.'  She jerked upright.
'Friends!  Harry!  She had to go tell Harry.'

"Computer, locate Ensign Kim!"

The computer rattled off a deck and section to her as she shot out of
her office.

And did not get much farther.

"Lieutenant, we need you!" Vorik called from a huddle across
Engineering and she spent the rest of the shift attempting to undo the
mess a faulty power coupling had created before there was a warpcore
breech.

---

"Oh, Tem, I knew you'd come around," Megan happily sighed and
enveloped her lover in an enthusiastic hug and kiss.

Geron who had been walking down the corridor, morosely dwelling on his
transgressions and how exactly he could repair the damage beyond
offering his help in B'Elanna's plans, had never seen nor heard Megan
running up to him.  Now, he reflexively caught her by the waist to
maintain their balance.

"I have to go now," she told him, pulling back from his lips.  "I'm
still on duty, but I'll see you tonight at Torres'."  She gave him
another swift kiss and hug and practically skipped down the corridor.

If it were possible, Geron felt even more like slime than he already
did.  'You should stop her,' he thought.  'You should tell her the
truth and beg her forgiveness and tell her you're trying to set right
what you did wrong and that was the real reason you had offered to
help with Torres' plan.'  But he did not stop her and he called
himself a coward.

---

"Private party or can anyone join?"

Naomi did not answer her godfather.  She remained curled up in her
corner, arms wrapped about her, eyes on the floor of the tube
junction.

Sighing in relief at finally being able to stand up again, Neelix slid
his bulk out of the tight space of the tube and into the junction
where she sat.  He was careful to stay on the far side of the space
from her.  With the opening for the ladder down to the next level
between them, he felt she would not feel threatened by him and might
not clam up as he once had heard it called.  "So," he began, settling
himself on the floor, legs dangling over the edge of the central
opening, "this is an interesting place, huh?  Nice and private and
quiet.  Hardly anyone comes through here."

She held her tongue and did not mention the fact he was there
therefore it hardly was private or quiet.

"I saw your mother out in the corridor.  She's rather worried about
you.  Says you and she had an argument about Tom's leaving."

Silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

No response.

"Well, I'd like to talk about things.  Tom mostly.  I feel sad to see
him gone.  When I heard he had left, I didn't want to believe it.  I
thought the person who told me was telling me some mean-spirited joke.
I couldn't figure out why he would go just like that.  But he is the
type who feels a strong sense of duty.  He felt the Rachar need him so
he went.  It was his decision to make and we have to respect it, even
if we don't like it or agree with it."

He lapsed into silence himself, hoping she might take the opportunity
to say something.  Only she did not.  What felt like an hour later,
her stomach growled.

"I'm hungry," she stated and rose.

"I have a lovely Ocata fruit casserole for supper that I think you'll
like."

She nodded only once then entered the tube to head for the nearest
hatch.

---


"Seven, what a pleasant surprise!" the EMH gushed.  "Come in.  Come
in."

Seven of Nine walked further into Sickbay cradling her bare hand in
her prosthetic enhanced one.  She merely frowned at the hologram as he
eagerly led her over to a biobed and began scanning her injured
appendage.

"Pinched it between something?" he murmured in a tone one might use to
ask how someone liked their birthday present.

"I was checking on the progress of the yatelite refining," she
explained.  "Some boxes needed to be moved so I assisted.  My hand
became trapped between two of them."

"You broke two bones in your hand and pinched several nerves.  This
could take a while to fix properly."

"You seem in particularly delighted at that prospect, Doctor."

"No, merely at your presence."  He made a face.  "Everyone seems to
have forgotten me, except when they're in need of my professional
services.  Unfortunately there has been a steady stream through here
and they've all rushed in then rushed out again."

"The crew has been busy."

"Hmm."  He ran an instrument over her hand.  "So, what's been
happening."

She ran down the list of repairs they had undertaken.  As she did, his
frown deepened.  Before she reached the end of her recital, she
realized this was not what he had meant.  He wanted to know what had
been *happening*, not happening.  With the steady stream of injuries
to which he had referred, he could not leave Sickbay for the Mess
Hall, Sandrine's or the Resort, the usual hotbeds of the gossiping he
so enjoyed.  So she began a detailed account of what little she knew
of the goings on in the crew's personal lives.

At the end of it, he raised an eyebrow at her and regarded her with
that mixture of smugness and needling only he could manage.  "You seem
rather concerned about Ensign Kim's mental health and physical
wellbeing."

"Ensign Kim is a vital member of this crew, Doctor," she responded,
eyes glued to the newly healed hand she was flexing.  "It is only
natural to be concerned when Mr. Neelix remarks upon the ensign's lack
of interest in his food and I see for myself his becoming
uncommunicative and withdrawn."

The Doctor nodded.  "I'm not surprised.  A lot has happened to him.
And to have it topped off by his pseudo-big brother just up and
leaving...."  He gave her a narrowed eyes look.  "But there is
something more.  Something personal -- No, don't deny it.  I heard
your tone when you finally detected his lifesign in that Gherop prison
and I saw the look on your face when you beamed him straight onto the
Bridge.  You did your best to hide it, but you were more than a little
relieved to have him back."

"Of course, he is-"

"A valuable member of the crew, et cetera, et cetera.  I'm talking
about the fact you seem to have a personal interest here."

She slipped off of the biobed.  "Ensign Kim is my friend.  He is
attempting to cope with many issues and I am concerned about his lack
of progress in doing so.  Is that not what our sessions on social
etiquette and behaviours have been all about?  Helping me to readjust
to humanity and learn concern for my fellow being?"

He only gave her a humouring look.

"Lieutenant Paris advised me to be a friend to Ensign Kim.  To be
there for him if he needs assistance in coping with Souris' death and
everything else that has happened to him and that is precisely what I
am attempting to do.  Now, if you will excuse me, I must be on my way
back to Astrometrics.  I have work to do there."

"Really?  I'm surprised you're not in Engineering, assisting with the
repairs."

"The current work is what Lieutenant Torres refers to as *grunt*
work," she explained, not knowing about the potential breach currently
being averted decks below her.  "A series of routine replacements of
relays and re-routing of systems back to their proper paths and double
checking connections before the engines safely may be restarted.  The
regular Engineering staff plus a few others are all that are needed."
She started for the doors.  "I have other tasks to which I must
attend."

"Like helping with her plan to get Mr. Paris back?"

She stopped and looked back at him.

"I overheard something early this morning when two of the engineers
were in here with minor injuries.  Another patient was brought in
before I could ask them what they were talking about.  Then Commander
Chakotay mentioned something about it too.  If Lieutenant Torres *is*
concocting a plan, tell her to count me in."

Seven looked at him for a long moment.  "1800 in her quarters.
Perhaps if you could work on the need for a qualified medical
assistant angle?"

"1800.  I'll be there with bells on."

Though she did not understand what musical instruments had to do with
anything, the fact he was going to help them was clear.  She offered
him a slight smile and a nod then left.

---

"Well, T'Ne?"

"The preparations for the Ceremony will be completed on schedule."

"Good."

R'Co waved away the slave with the seven trays of delicacies from all
over the Gherop Empire.  The captive bowed deeply, its many tentacles
never losing their grip on the trays, then squished out of the throne
room.  Seated upon the throne that was not yet officially hers, the
future Leader ignored its departure.  Instead, she was fluffing her
shirts about her, displaying the ridiculously ornate embroidery to
their fullest, and rearranged the heavy strands of gems and precious
metals dangling from her neck, hair, and arms.

'She's been into the jewel vaults already,' T'Ne grimaced.  Watching
her separate the strands from the tangled mass they had become snarled
from the mere action of waving the servant off, he was able to make
out the crown jewels of four systems around her neck alone.  'At least
she's not wearing our Crown Jewels about like this for anything to
happen to them,' he sighed silently then froze.  'If she's not wearing
the Gherop crown jewels, which have to be gaudy enough for even her,
then where are they?  Last night, they were transferred here from the
museum where they're on permanent display.  How could she have missed
them when she was poking about in the vaults for these?'

Visions of something happening to them as she was trying to make
happen to the official headdress and robes assaulted his mind.  He had
been able to save the head-dress and robes from destruction by calling
on his own quick thinking and the skills of the best artisans on the
Homeworld plus quite a few favours owed him.  The originals now were
hidden safely away until the next Leader required them and hastily
constructed replicas were being subjected to her whims.  The fact only
a handful of Gherop had ever seen them close up and the materials they
were made out of were native skins, feathers, and common shells had
helped with the deception.  There was no way he could have a new set
of Crown Jewels created for her to destroy.  The metals and gems were
mined out generations ago and they never had found anything on any
planet in their space that came close to matching the exact colours
and textures.  Even if there had been, recreating the central stone in
the largest piece of the official brooch was impossible.  Its internal
flaw was a freak of nature.

"So," she finally sighed, her fussing finished, "you were to bring me
news of the investigation into dear cousin T'Do's demise."

She was unaware he knew she really could not care less about her "dear
cousin T'Do" or his death.  While T'Do had been alive, she had very
expertly played him, so expertly he had never known his "favoured
second cousin" was in the process of plotting his demise and Rachar
exploding had saved her the trouble of finishing her plans.  She did
not let on she thought the investigation into what had happened there
was a perfunctory step.  The Leader had died and a satisfactory
explanation would have to be furnished for his subjects before the new
Leader could be accepted that was the way it worked.  If a rumour
circulated that T'Do had been assassinated, the people would start to
worry the Gherop were not as invincible as their Leader made out and
the uncertainty about their safety would lead to civil unrest.

'Little does she know the investigation may just uncover some proof of
what she had been up to herself and disqualify her as Leader,' he
thought smugly to himself.

"The analysis of the transmission from Rachar by the clerk I'Nu have
been verified as his voice," he told her.  "The background sounds were
amplified and they were sounds of battle, but nothing else."

"I see."  She smiled maliciously.  "There is one good thing that came
out of this."

T'Ne's hearts leapt.  'Was it really going to be this simple to get an
admission of a desire to see T'Do dead?' he wondered, thankful he had
thought to have this conversation monitored and recorded by N'Tra.
'If he had that on record, it would go a long way to substantiating
his case against her once he had the evidence of her role in T'Do's
death.'  "'One good thing', R'Co?"

"Yes.  E'Arte is dead."  She flounced off of the throne and around the
room as T'Ne's heart sank again.  "He had the audacity to insult me,
me of all people, you know.  It was long ago now, but dear cousin T'Do
repaid E'Arte for that though.  Exiled him to that horrid planet.  No
one has ever dared insult me since.  And they never will now that I am
their Leader."

"Will be their Leader in a few intervals," he corrected.

"A mere formality."

'A mere formality that's going to last intervals and cost the Gherop
people an incredible amount of currency,' he grumbled silently.

"But you know what would make perfect celebration gift?"

"What, R'Co?"

She turned hard eyes on him.  "Finding Rachar on Voyager and Sunfire."

"Our ships are looking."

"Tell them to look harder."

"Yes, R'Co."

"Speaking of failures, any word on the P'Ro?"

"It still is missing, R'Co."

"They clearly don't want to face my wrath over their having destroyed
the Rachar.  Have our people look harder for them too."

"Yes, R'Co."  He bowed and left her to return to her contemplation of
her luxurious throne room.

---

---

"Sunbird?"

Tom surfaced from his planning with a jerk.  For hours now, while the
child had slept in his arms, he had been working on an idea that
became more appealing to him with every passing second.  He was
puzzling out the logistics of such an operation and how best he could
protect his little charge while he did when the ship commanded his
attention.  "Huh?"

"I'm picking up a distress signal.  It's in... Gaelic."

"Crewwoman O'Banyon," he said in a monotone and smoothed the hair off
of his foster daughter's face.

"No, it's not from anyone from Voyager.  Listen."

"'I repeat,'" a female voice said in strongly accented Irish Gaelic.
"'This is the shuttle Dublin requesting immediate assistance from any
ships in the area.  My engines are offline and life support is
failing.  My co-ordinates are-"

He frowned as co-ordinates were rattled off then the message began to
repeat once more.  Voyager did not have any shuttles known by the name
of 'Dublin.'  And the speaker did not sound like Crewwoman O'Banyon -
the only female on Voyager with a thick Irish accent and who had the
tendency to launch into her native tongue when flustered.

"Gherop in the area?"

"No signs of them.

"Distance?"

"They're two hours away at maximum speed."

Despite his best efforts, M'Nea Madeleine woke as he carefully shifted
her to the mattress.  Seeing she was about to be left, she held out
her arms to him and mewed in protest.  Conceding defeat, he picked her
up and held her to him.

"What do you want me to do?" Sunbird asked.  "Change course or ignore
them?"

"Change course but keep alert for traps.  Come here, you," he smiled
at M'Nea Madeleine.  "Let's get you something to eat, huh?  I bet
you're hungry."

By the time they came within sensor range, he had M'Nea Madeleine fed,
changed, and happily ensconced in a corner of the Bridge in a playpen
with toys.  Seated at his station at the Helm, Tom was trying to make
sense of the readings the sensors were feeding him.

"The signal *is* in Irish Gaelic and the basic configuration of the
ship is...." Had she still been organic, her brow would have been
furrowed.  "I'd swear this ship came from the Alpha Quadrant.  Some of
the technology is identical to many Alpha Quadrant designs from about
twenty-five years ago."

"The basic configuration's the same," he clarified, consulting the
scans, "but whoever this is has improved upon them.  Check the area
for traces of wormholes, gopher holes, and temporal shifts."

"I'm reading normal space.  None of them or any other forms of
phenomena -- natural or otherwise."

"There's nothing amiss with your sensors?"

"I just finished a diagnostic.  They're operating a peak efficiency."

"So how did a ship, clearly Alpha Quadrant in design if not origin,
end up here?  Say a ship from twenty-five years ago somehow made it to
the Delta Quadrant and they or someone else found it and improved upon
its design.  There's no way either the original or the next
generations of that ship could have travelled this far into the Delta
Quadrant naturally in that short of a time span."

"Perhaps it fell through a wormhole I can't detect or the Caretaker
could have brought it here like it did Voyager."

"That wouldn't explain the changes in design.  Besides, it's too small
to travel far on its own.  It can't have a crew of more than two or
three."

"I'm reading only one lifesign.  Terran female."

"The Caretaker wouldn't have bothered to go to all the effort just to
grab one person.  He was looking for compatible genetic matches.  He
would have wanted more to chose from than just one individual.
Besides, how could it have made its way this far all on its own?  It's
too far and the ship's too vulnerable to attackers."

"Don't know, but we'll be in transporter range in three minutes."

"Any indications she's seen us?"

"None.  My cloak's holding and she hasn't charged any weapons or
raised her shields.  I don't think she's the power to do either
anyway.  All systems are in grey mode."

"Life support?"

"About to fall below minimum."

He surged to his feet.  "Beam her directly to Sickbay the second we're
in range."

"What if it's a trap?"

"Then it's a trap and we'll deal with it," he said, heading for the
turbolift.  He glanced at M'Nea Madeleine when he passed her playpen.
She was happily amusing herself with her new toys and Sunfire would
watch her to see she was safe so he felt no worry in leaving the
Bridge.  "Go through the usual screenings of course," he instructed
the ship as the lift descended.

"Acknowledged.  Thirty seconds to- I think I found the trap."

He paused as the lift stopped.  "What is it?"

"I've tapped into the ship's computer.  There's a self-destruct
sequence.  Its trigger is her lifesign.  If it goes, the ship will
blow."

"Transfer the information to the Sickbay terminal," he ordered,
rushing down the corridor to Sickbay.  "I'll see what I can do."

In his former life as an AlphaOmegan, Tom had disarmed self-destruct
mechanisms a hundred times more complex than this one so it was easy
work for him.  The only thing that gave him trouble was trying to
remember his Gaelic.  The idyllic summer during which he had learned
the nearly extinct Terran language been so long ago, but with
Sunfire's double checking his work, he managed to override the command
codes written entirely in that language.

"What's her status?" he questioned, getting up from his chair at the
desk and moving to push an instrument tray over to the biobed.

"She's almost unconscious."

"Beam her over."

When the woman appeared, Tom was ready for her, tricorder in hand.
Sunfire had verified their visitor carried no concealed weapons or any
diseases just waiting to be contracted by some unsuspecting
individual.  In fact, other than some respiratory distress due to the
low life support, their guest was in perfect health.  Still Tom gave
her a once over and administered a hypo of triox to ease her
breathing.

"Who are you?" she asked in her own language once the extra oxygen hit
her brain and she became lucid.  Hers indeed was the voice from the
distress call.  The strong Irish accent was very much in evidence.
"This doesn't look like any place I've seen before."  She looked
around then back at him.  "But you look like one of us."

"I'm Tom Paris," he introduced reverting to Gaelic himself, but with
the slowness of someone trying to wrap their tongue around long
forgotten words.  "Just lie still for a while."  He did not know who
the "us" was whom he was supposed to resemble.  He certainly did not
look like her.  The pale complexion yes, but she had green eyes and
black hair.  "What's your name?  How'd you get here?"

"Maire Molloy.  You're accent's strange."  She shook her head at her
own rudeness.  "I was out testing our new shuttle design when I ran
into a systems glitch.  Unfortunately I was too far away from New
Kildare to get back before my power went."

The medic froze.  His eyes slowly shifted from the tricorder readout
to her eyes.  "What did you say?"

Ignoring his instructions to lie still, she sat up and swung her long
legs over the edge of the biobed.  As she repeated what she had just
said, she ran her fingers through her long black curls, rearranging
them.

"New Kildare," he repeated in a soft voice.

"Yes.  You're not from New Kildare, are you?"  It was more of a
statement of a revelation than a question.

"I'm from Earth."

She smiled.  "I knew they'd do it," she murmured enigmatically.  "Am I
okay?"

He nodded, distractedly.

"Good.  I need to contact my ship.  There's a self-destruct on it that
was set to go off when my lifesign was gone.  So no one else could
take her after I was dead and use her to find New Kildare."

"We found it and disarmed it already."

She blinked at him in shock.  "How?"

"It was simple, if you know something about self-destructs *and* know
Gaelic."

Smiling, she shook her head.  "I'm impressed even more.  So where are
we?"

"You're on a ship named Sunfire."

"Then I'll need to talk to your Captain and ask for my shuttle to be
tractored into your shuttlebay and for you to return me home."  She
slipped off of the bed and smiled at him, shaking her head in
disbelief.  "We always figured someone from the Alpha Quadrant would
developed the technology to get to the Delta Quadrant, but I never
thought it would be in my lifetime."

"Sunfire doesn't have a shuttlebay and I'm her captain.  We didn't
exactly come here of our own accord."  The comments were almost
asides.  His mind still was on what she had said before.  "You're from
New Kildare?"

"Yes."  Her tone was the same as one would use with a child, one of
indulgence.

"But New Kildare and its system was destroyed almost twenty-five years
ago."

She sighed heavily.  "We always wondered what the Alpha Quadrant
assumed after The Relocation."

"Relocation?  I'm sorry, do you know Federation standard?  Can we
switch to that?  I think I'm mistranslating what you just said."

"Yes, I know it," she said in that language.

He switched over too.  "The entire star system vanished without a
trace.  But you called it a 'relocation', right?"

"Yes.  It's a long story.  Since you're Captain of this vessel, could
you tractor my shuttle along side and take me home?  If it's not too
far out of your way?"

"Yes.  Yes, of course."

"Good.  I'll tell you about The Relocation after I give your Conn
Officer the co-ordinates.  It's not too far, unless you're in a ship
that's losing power," she smiled.

He did not return it.  "I'm the Conn Officer too.  You're entire
planet came to the Delta Quadrant.  Population, moons, and all?"

"All of System 091, yes.  You're Captain *and* Conn Officer and
there's no shuttlebay?  Just how big is this ship anyway?"

When a thoughtful Tom did not answer, Sunfire did.  "I have five decks
and a gross mass of 290,000 metric tonnes.  The designers felt a
shuttlebay was unnecessary as I am perfectly capable of surface
landings and more space should be devoted to other areas of the ship."

"I'd love to see your schematics," she told the ceiling.  "I'm eager
to see how your designers overcame...."

As the woman attempted to engage Sunfire in a technical discussion
only B'Elanna, Carey, Seven and maybe a handful of Voyager's engineers
would have understood completely, Tom surfaced from his thoughts.  "We
have to get you home, Ms. Molloy," he interrupted, striding out of
Sickbay.

The guest hurried along after him.  "Call me Maire," she invited,
stepping into the turbolift with him.  "After all, you just saved my
life.  I think deserves a first name basis if anything does."

Involuntarily, he thought of the number of times he had saved people's
lives on Voyager and still never ended up on a first name basis with
them.  Refocusing on the matter at hand, he walked out of the lift the
moment it halted on the Bridge and headed for the Helm.

"Wow," Maire breathed.  "I've never seen anything like this.  Or you.
Aren't you the prettiest little girl."

Tom glanced over his shoulder to see her reaching into M'Nea
Madeleine's playpen to pick her up.  Unbidden, the desire to rush over
and snatch his daughter away from the stranger inundated him.  He
restrained it, surprised at the feelings of possessiveness that had
developed in him in such a short time *and* at the fact he already was
thinking of her as his "daughter."  "That is M'Nea Madeleine."

"M'Nea Madeleine?  An unusual name for an unusual little girl.
Madeleine's French, yes?"

He nodded.

"M'Nea?"

"Klingon.  From a story I once read.  'Women Warriors at the River of
Blood.'"

"Sounds gruesome."

"A bit violent, but rather good plot-wise."  A sad smile crossed is
face as he thought of when he had read it.  Memories of B'Elanna
laughing over his pronunciation of some Klingon words.  Of her teasing
him when he had heaved a relieved sigh at the happy ending.  Of the
teasing becoming sparring then the two of them making love and nearly
being late for duty shift.  He shook his head.  That was in the past.
Remembering what it was like back then only would torture him further.
He had enough to torture him without that.

Maire scrutinized the child who was conducting a tactile investigation
of Maire's face.  "You don't look-" She tugged the little hand out of
her mouth as it slipped in to check out her tongue and teeth.  "You
play with your own, little one."

The "little one" made a disgusted noise at her fun having been ruined.

"You don't look Klingon."

"She's Rachar."

"Rachar?"

Tom turned back to the helm and keyed in an instruction to Sunfire
while he spoke.  "A Delta Quadrant species that's been wiped out.
They were murdered by the Gherop."

"That's terrible."

"You haven't encountered them yourself?"

"The Rachar?  No.  Never have as far as I know."

"The Gherop I meant."

"Them neither.  We keep to ourselves for the most part and New Kildare
is well hidden from view.  Unless you knew it was there, you'd never
think to look for it there.  And if you did, you'd never be able to
find it anyway."

"Really."

"Yes.  System 091 is hidden inside of an enormous dust cloud that the
natives to the region apparently call 'the Y Llat Dust Cloud.'  At
least that's what we've picked up by monitoring a couple transmissions
of ships that had passed by the cloud.  Scanning it from the outside,
you'd never find it.  The dust particles cause a feedback for the
sensors unless they are specifically calibrated to cut through them.
It's quite the defensive measure and entirely natural."

He watched the results appear on his console.  All the standard and
non- standard tests indicated Maire was telling the truth.  Not that
he took that as conclusive proof of her honesty.  Her claim to be from
New Kildare and that the system had "relocated" to the Delta Quadrant
was just too hard to believe.  He was not going to rule out a trap
until the hairs on the back of his neck ceased standing on end.

"But you still sent out a distress call, one anyone could have picked
up."

"In another few moments I would have blacked out and eventually
asphyxiated.  Death versus running into someone I didn't want to meet.
Hardly a choice, in my humble opinion.  I still have a healthy
appreciation for this life, thank you very much.  Down you go,
leanaban."

He could hear her returning M'Nea Madeleine to her playpen and quickly
erased the truth test results from the screen before Maire's
inevitable stroll over to join him at the Helm.

"Besides, what's the worst that could have happened to me?" she
continued.  "Be killed?  That was going to happen anyway."

"Some things are worse than death."

"Name one," she laughed, moving to stand beside his chair.

"The Gherop seem to delight in enslaving peoples.  They probably would
have taken you to spend the rest of your natural life serving them and
tried to find the rest of your people to do the same to them.  And if
your people resisted, the Gherop would have destroyed your world.
Just like they did to the Rachar and New Rachar."

She laid a hand on his shoulder.  "I'm sorry," she apologized, her
laughter gone.  "These Rachar were your friends?  Well, obviously if
you had a child with one of them.  What a stupid question."

"She's not my biological daughter.  Her mother entrusted her to me
when she died."

"There are no other family?"

"As far as I know, there are no other Rachar.  Like I told you, the
Gherop massacred them all.  Even hunted done those who escaped their
world's destruction."

"I'm sorry."  She was silent for a long time, her hand still resting
on his shoulder.  "We should get to New Kildare," she finally said.
"They'll be frantic wondering where I am."

Tom caught her now powerless shuttle in a tractor beam and extended
Sunfire's cloak around it.  When Maire gave him the co-ordinates for
her dust cloud enshrouded home, they were off.

---

"Kathryn, we need to talk."  Chakotay sat next to the Captain.
Neither her position nor posture had changed since the last time he
had seen her.  "I went to see my spirit guide. She let me see Paris.'"

For the first time in days, she perked up a little.  Her head rose and
her grey eyes found his.  "Yes?" she whispered anxiously.

He began pacing.  "And he's fine," he dismissed, deliberately leaving
out any mention of the evidence of emotional trauma.  "Just like I
keep telling you."

"He's fine?"

"Yes."

Chakotay turned to her in time to see her eyes slowly slide from him
to a point on the couch cushion in front of her.  He hated not telling
her the entire truth, but he had rationalized it to himself by
believing whatever Paris was feeling at the moment would pass in time.
And he *was* physically okay.  What was important was getting the
Captain back to being the Captain and getting on with their lives and
their problems, not obsessing about Paris and his.

"Kathryn, it's time for you to remember you are Captain Kathryn
Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager.  You can't keep hiding in
here, trying to pretend the rest of the ship does not exist.  As long
as you do, it is undermining your authority as Captain and giving the
wrong example to the rest of the crew.  Just a couple of hours ago I
had a crewmember in my office who as much as told me everyone's
thinking you've gone weak and maybe unfit for captaincy.  Pretty soon
someone will actually come out and say I should replace you as Captain
because you can't do the job.  Is that what you want to have happen?
You really want to see someone else sitting in the centre chair?
Paris is gone.  It's time to snap out of it and get back to running
this ship."

He sat down on the edge of her desk and waited.  It took almost two
minutes, but eventually she did unfold her limbs and rise, tugging her
uniform down into place.

"Good," he nodded approvingly.  "You go take a long shower," he
instructed, jabbing a thumb towards the Ready Room head, "then we can
start addressing the problems that have crept up.  And toss out your
clothes out and I'll refresh them."

Mindlessly, Kathryn obeyed.

---

"Wait."

Q shot his mate a glance and stopped.  "Why?"

"I want to see what the big deal is."

"Big deal about what?"

"About Helmboy.  Why would q be here unless there was something
interesting going on?  The others are bad enough, but this one... As I
remember it, this one was downright boring."

"He's always did strike me as insignificant when compared to others."

"Others like your Janeway?" she scowled.

"Kathy does have an interesting mind."

"Huh."

"But this one... Rather dull really.  Always was more interested in
the physical pursuits, if you catch my meaning.  Speaking of which, I
wonder where his Klingon playmate is."  He glanced at Voyager and
found B'Elanna there and hard at work.  "There she is."  He assumed a
thoughtful pose.  "I wonder why he's here with these ones and they're
over there.  Someone ought to see why.  Just for the sake of
understanding Q's interest here and not over there, of course.  And
I-"

"Oh, no, you don't.  If anyone's going there it will be me," she
interrupted then vanished.

Grumbling to himself about his mate's jealousy, Q conjured up an easy
chair and sat down to watch his son and the "dull one."

---

Shortly after 1800 that night, an exhausted B'Elanna was dragging
herself around the corner and down the corridor towards her quarters.
Now she regretted not sleeping during the four hours the Doctor had
insisted she take off that morning.  She was so tired she was having
trouble resisting the temptation to just drop to the deck where she
was and curl up and go to sleep.  It had taken hours, but the breach
had been averted and the repairs were back on schedule.  Once she had
a nap, she planned to go back to help some more.

"Lieutenant?"

She prised open her eyelid a little farther and lifted her head.  She
not only saw Tuvok, who had spoken to her, but Seven, the Doctor,
Megan Delaney, and an uncomfortable looking Geron.

"Hope I'm not too late, " Neelix apologized, hurrying towards the
group from the direction B'Elanna had come.  "Naomi's having a tough
time and I had to try to help.  Didn't do much good though,
unfortunately.  She still won't talk to her mother or me.  Hope you
don't mind me coming," he said, turning to B'Elanna.  "I ran into
Seven who invited -- Lieutenant, you need to sit down.  You look
exhausted.  Why are we all standing out here in the corridor?  Come
on, make way and let's get inside."

He put an arm around B'Elanna to guide her through the others and
inside her quarters, everyone else automatically following.

"Here, sit down."  He lowered her to a corner of the couch and headed
for the replicator.  "Let's get you some coffee to wake you up.  Can't
have a meeting when the one who called it is asleep.  Anyone else want
anything?"

Neelix was handing out everyone's requested beverages when the door
chimed.  At Neelix's call to enter, Pablo Baytart entered, looking
guilty and apologetic.  A close look at the new half pip sitting
beside the full one on his collar showed why.

"I... I was called to the Captain's Ready Room a few minutes ago," the
newly minted Lieutenant j.g. explained, unable to look anywhere but at
B'Elanna's stunned face.  "The Captain and Commander were there.  The
Commander did most of the talking.  He said we're back in the same
boat as we were when we thought Tom was dead.  We need a Head of Conn
since Tom's not here anymore.  They offered me the position again and
this time with a promotion.  I didn't know what to do.  Taking the job
when we thought he was dead was one thing.  I didn't want it under
those circumstances, but I knew someone had to do it.  Knowing he's
alive out there somewhere and could still do his job if we can just
get him back here... I certainly don't want the job or the rank under
those circumstances.  It's Tom's, but I figured if I didn't say yes,
they'd find someone else, someone who wouldn't know to give it back to
Tom once we got him back here on Voyager where he belongs."

"Perhaps this is a good thing," the Doctor suggested.  "With one of
our own in the position, it will mean one more vote in our favour on
the Senior Staff."

"Doctor," Tuvok began with a warning note in his voice, "please do not
speak in such terms.  We are not here to plan a mutiny.   We are here
simply to establish a coherent, overwhelming argument to present to
the Captain in favour of searching for Mr. Paris.  Nothing more."

"Of course, but the greater number of Senior Staff who back our plan,
the better.  They are the ones she listens to first and foremost.  If
they suggest a plan of action, it carries more weight merely because
they are the ones suggesting it.  Right now we have you, me, Mr.
Baytart, and Ms. Torres.  The fact Mr. Neelix and Seven of Nine are in
agreement will carry a lot of weight, even if they are not official
members of the Senior staff."  He turned to Megan and Geron.  "Not to
say your contributions will not important also, of course."

"Of course not," Megan nodded.  "And B'Elanna told me Lieutenant Carey
and Ensign Vorik are in on this too."

"I doubt Engineering can spare them right now so they could be here,"
Seven guessed.  "And the Doctor is correct.  The more Senior staff the
better."

"Commander Chakotay clearly is out of the question," the Doctor
grumbled.  "When I suggested the idea of going after Mr. Paris, I was
told in no uncertain terms to forget it."

Pablo flipped a dining table chair around and straddled it.  "What
about Ensign Kim?  He is Tom's best friend.  Well, he was before
everything came out."

"Yes, what about Harry Kim, B'Elanna?" Megan asked.  When she received
no answer everyone's heads pivoted to the Chief Engineer.  She was
dead asleep.  "Well, what do we do now?"

Tuvok came over to gather the sleeping woman in his arms and walked
over to the bedroom to deposit her on the bed.  "I see no reason why
we cannot continue," he suggested, returning to them minus his burden.
"We already are here and she appears to be sleeping so soundly we will
not disturb her."

The others all nodded in agreement.

---

With mild interest, the little Q's mother was listening in to the
conversation.  'Perhaps, Helmboy was not as dull as she had thought,'
she mused, listening to Tuvok play devil's advocate, and did a recap
of the case against Tom Paris, namely his past and crimes, so they all
knew what they were up against.  'But what is it that Q or q see in
these puny creatures with even punier minds?  They're so single-
minded.  So clueless about the Universe around them.  Why do they
merit their attention?'

The only thing that had given her any joy was seeing Q's precious
Kathy practically catatonic with self-pity and guilt.  That brought a
sadistic smile to her face, even if that one with the ridiculous
tattoo was trying to draw her out of her mood.  Still, her responding
to the illustrated man's presence did have one good side effect.  If
she stayed interested in him, then she would stay away from Q.  That
idea had promise and she would not even have to help them along.  The
interest already was there.

Without ever betraying her presence, she settled herself in an
unoccupied chair in the room to watch what progressed.

---

Warily, Tom instructed Sunfire to follow the two New Kildarean ships
through the Y Llat Dust Cloud while the other two slipped in behind
them.  Only moments ago, when they finally had come in sight of it,
these four ships had just been emerging from it, shields up and
weapons at the ready.  Before then, Sunfire's sensors had detected
*something* approaching them though she had not been able to tell what
until the ships were almost out of the cloud.  On the other hand, the
New Kildareans, who had spent years developing sensors capable of
cutting through the dust cloud, had seen them coming quite a ways off.
What was even more disconcerting was Sunfire's cloak had been
operational at the time and extended around the Dublin.  If they had
to escape these ships for some reason, they did not have a chance to
hide from them that way.

The only bright spot was he half-believed that would not be necessary.
While they had travelled there, Maire had made a somewhat incomplete
and less than technical explanation of the phenomenon that had brought
them to the dust cloud in the Delta Quadrant.  She had apologized for
the lack of specifics, saying she was an engineer, not an expert in
space phenomena.  When they had arrived in the Delta Quadrant and
realized they no longer were in the Alpha Quadrant, she had been only
two years old.  Her elder brothers remembered more than her of what
had occurred as did their parents.  She had been too young at the time
and later on she had not been interested in it.  As far as she was
concerned, how they arrived where they were was irrelevant.  They were
there to stay and that was that.  However, once they arrived on New
Kildare, she promised, she would find someone who could explain
everything to him properly.

Though he did not say anything to her or Sunfire, he secretly hoped
whomever she found botched the explanation as badly as she had.  Then
he would have proof it was all a lie and they could get out of there.
He did not know if he could take it were she telling the truth.  It
would be so much harder for him to go through with his plans for
starters.

Over the next few minutes, while Maire talked over the comm with one
of the pilots, who it turned out had been at school with her, Tom made
careful course adjustments and Sunfire began to amass evidence that
dashed his hopes of a quick answer refuting Maire's claims.  When they
emerged into the centre of the cloud, Sunfire did a quick scan of the
vast interior of the cloud.  The system of a single sun with eight
planets and fourteen moons in orbit precisely matched that of System
091 and New Kildare therein.  The mineralogical composition of the
celestial bodies was consistent.  The age of the sun matched.  The
lifeforms were genetically a match.  All the evidence seemed to be
falling squarely behind Maire.

As their four escort ships broke off, the Planetary Traffic Control,
who oversaw all orbital and sub-orbital traffic as well as surface
traffic, directed Tom to the landing area on the grounds of the
O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility, for whom Maire worked.  The
OPRF people then took over the conversation, instructing Tom where to
deposit the Dublin.  Sunfire was to then land nearby and Tom was to
wait to be met by a PTC officer for the required forms to be filled
out.  "Bureaucrats," Maire grumbled under her breath as they did as
ordered.  "Always reports and forms and red tape."

Secretly, Tom agreed with her.  "I'll beam you out to the surface," he
told her, letting Sunfire finish the shutdown of her propulsion
systems by herself.  "I have to collect M'Nea Madeleine and her
things."

"Ah, yes, the obligatory five million things one has to take
everywhere when taking the baby anywhere.  My sister-in-law says it
takes longer to get their kids ready to go anywhere than it does
herself.  And if you'd ever seen my sister-in-law you'd know how
inconceivable that is. Never seen anyone who could take longer to get
dressed and do her hair and make-up."

He smiled and nodded.  "I'll see you outside in a minute.  It'll give
you a chance to get a head start on that paperwork."

"Oh, gee, thanks."

She disappeared in a transporter beam and his smile vanished.

"Report," he ordered.

"The male approaching with a padd and a tricorder on his belt is
unarmed and there are no signs of any defensive measures at all, let
alone on alert here or anywhere else on the planet or in the system,"
the ship answered.  "I have interfaced with their computers and her
story checks out.  Everything appears legit."

"Hmm."  Tom was quiet for a while as he poked around in the New
Kildarean computers, trying to find something.  When he found it, he
slumped back into his chair, stunned.

"Sunbird?"

He shook himself, returning to himself.  "Surface conditions," he
asked, going to the playpen.

Beside the playpen, Sunfire conjured up a bag containing a baby
blanket, bottles of juice, and a bag of cookies to legitimize his
story for why he was delaying his disembarkation.  "Atmosphere checks
out. Slightly higher concentration of nitrogen than Earth, otherwise
identical.  Sunbird, what was that all about?  Who's-"

"Later."

"Fine.  Temperature is 18 Celsius and there's a slight breeze so
bundle her up."

Seeing a tiny jacket materialize, lying over the bag of baby things,
he grabbed it and wrestled M'Nea Madeleine into it, shaking his head.
"Maternal today, isn't she?"

The child giggled at him and nearly punched him in the nose as he
tried to stuff one chubby arm into a sleeve.

"Keep a lock on us, Sunfire, and keep them off of you."

"Of course," Sunfire agreed.  "You're sure you want to take her with
you?"

Mission accomplished, Tom began tossing a few toys into the bag.
"Since Maire's seen her, I can't very well just leave her here. I'd
have to explain why I wasn't worried about her safety then about your
special nature and for the moment I want to keep them in the dark that
you're a lot more than any ordinary ship."

"Understood."  She paused.  "Sunbird?"

"Yes?"

"Something strange is going on with you."

"What do you mean?"

"When she said she was from New Kildare you were shocked.  More than
you should have been upon hearing she was from a planet in a system
that had vanished twenty-five years ago," she hastened to add before
he could speak.

He slung the back over his shoulder and scooped up M'Nea Madeleine.
"I've been here before," he admitted, straightening.  "The summer
before it vanished, I spent four and a half months here with my mother
and sisters.  It was the best four and a half months of my entire
life."

"You didn't say anything to Maire."

"Of course not.  If this is all a trick, I don't want to give them
ammunition to use against us."

"How could it be a trick though?"

"I don't know.  It's certainly rather a large co-incidence, finding it
here, in the Delta Quadrant.  It being in the Delta Quadrant, perhaps.
Stranger things have happened.  But to actually stumble across it?
The Delta Quadrant is a huge place.  The odds are astronomically
against finding it like this.  Even greater against the one who found
it being me -- someone who's actually been there and has such fond
memories of it.  Sure everyone in the Alpha Quadrant has at some point
in school heard of the mystery of the vanishing New Kildare colony and
System 091.  But few had been there before it went.  It wasn't much of
a tourist spot, beautiful though it was.  It was off of the usual
routes. "

"Did you tell someone on Voyager about New Kildare and maybe some
aliens found out about it from them?"

"After New Kildare vanished, I never spoke of it again."  His voice
dropped to a whisper.  "It was too hard."

"What if this really is New Kildare?  Coincidences do happen."

He shook his head to clear it.  "I have a way to figure out if it is.
Just be ready to get us out of here if I'm right and it is a lie."

"I'll see if I can figure out a way to disable their ships and
sensors."

"Good luck."

"You too."

The organics vanished in a shower of light and Sunfire was alone to
work.

---

"There he is," Maire said with relief to the PTC officer when she saw
Tom and M'Nea Madeleine beamed onto the tarmac a short distance from
Sunfire.  "He can answer your questions."  Her head turned as a land
vehicle with "O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility" emblazoned on its
side stopped near the Dublin and a group of technicians tumble out en
masse.  "I have to go see them.  Tom?" Maire called over her shoulder
and jerked a thumb towards the PTC officer.  "Red tape with your name
on it."

"Thanks," he returned, nonchalantly striding up the blue uniformed man
with the padd.

"No problem," she grinned.  "I'll see what I can do about finding that
someone to explain The Relocation better to you.  Contact me at my
office."  She jerked a thumb towards one of the many buildings in the
distance.  "And I still would love to see Sunfire's schematics."

Not waiting for a response, she rushed off towards her colleagues who
already were crawling all over the Dublin with scanners and tools.

The PTC officer looked very nervous and uncomfortable.  At first, Tom
thought it was because the officer looked like he was barely out of
his teens and new at his job.  As the interview progressed, he
discovered the situation was not quite that at all.

"Um, er, uh, your name?"

"Tom Paris."

Nodding, he input the information into the padd then frowned at the
display.  "Okay, uh, your ship's name?"

"Sunfire."

"Okay.  And your... your planet of origin?"

"Earth."

"Uh huh."  He glanced up and straight at M'Nea Madeleine who was
toying with Tom's left ear lobe.  "And the... child?"

"M'Nea Madeleine.  She's Rachar.  From this quadrant."

"And you're her father?"

"Adoptive parent.  Her birth parents are dead."

"I see."  He was quiet for a while.  So long Tom had more than enough
time to clue into what the problem really was.

"This is the first time you've ever had to do this, isn't it?" he
asked in a comforting voice.

A startled glance was sent in Tom's direction.  "Uh, yeah.  How'd you
guess?"

"Only makes sense.  I doubt you have many visitors."

"You're the first."

"Why?"

"They can't navigate the Y Llat Dust Cloud."

"You led me through.  You could do the same for them."

"Oh, but then they'd tell others about us and we'd never be safe
again.  If they don't know we're here, they won't try and invade or
anything."

"But you let me come."

"Well, apparently they figured since Ms. Molloy had told you about us
it was too late and they might as well just let you come.  Besides,
there are some who left behind friends and relatives in the Alpha
Quadrant and wish they could tell them they're okay, not dead."  He
looked left and right to see they were alone, then leaned closer to
Tom.  "And there are some who are hoping you might be able to help us
get System 091 back to the Alpha Quadrant where it belongs so we can
tell everyone ourselves.  When we picked you up on our sensors almost
an hour ago, word of you spread like wildfire.  And when our ships
intercepted you outside of the cloud and Ms. Molloy said someone from
the Alpha Quadrant had rescued her, everyone soon knew that too.  They
figure you got here, so we can get back there."

There was the sound of footsteps coming towards them and the officer
straightened and returned to his work with a renewed vigour.

"As you know your ship and yourselves were scanned for diseases and
parasites before you entered the cloud," he said in a voice that now
rang with authority.  "You'll be relieved to know the scans came up
negative.  You are healthy and pose no health risk to New Kildare."

Tom refrained from telling him he already knew that.

"Your plans for your length of stay?"

"Uncertain, but not long."

"That's unfortunate," the middle aged woman in a PTC uniform declared,
stopping beside her underling.  "There are a lot of people who want to
talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Yes.  Come.  They're sending a transport to pick you up.  I'm
supposed to accompany you to the talla-baile so we'll have time for
you to tell all that's happening back on Earth."

She put an arm through his and escorted him across the tarmac to the
land vehicle they could see winding its way through the shuttle
hangers.

Their reactions were prime indicators of what he was to experience for
the rest of the day.  He felt like he was some sort of important
dignitary or celebrity and perhaps he was in a way.  He *was* the
first visitor from the Alpha Quadrant in a long time so he guessed
that justified the gawking and curiosity of everyone he passed.  Even
when he reached the town hall for the meeting, he found the planetary
president and regional governors, who had transported in just for the
meeting, were a little awe-struck, but, thankfully, that faded in
time.  Everyone's eagerness to know how he and Sunfire had arrived in
the Delta Quadrant, however, did not.

Still not totally convinced of their veracity, he stalled as long as
he could.  He professed a curiosity to know precisely what The
Relocation was and had bought himself some time.  The expert they
trotted out turned out to be the one Maire already had contacted
regarding speaking to Tom and he had droned on and on.  Tom would
still have been there three hours later if three members of his
audience, including M'Nea Madeleine and the President herself, had not
fallen asleep.  A tactful aide had roused their leader and the
sleeping governor of New Cork, both of whom went red in the face and
made apologies as did the expert, who was able to laugh at his own
over-enthusiasm for his subject.  He took questions, Tom obliging him
with as many as he, not being the scientific type, could manage.

But he must have somehow betrayed himself with all the questions.  The
governor from New Donegal suddenly leaned forwards in her chair and
stated that -- not asked if -- Tom was not convinced they were who
they said they were.  Seeing no recourse he admitted he was suspicious
since he had seen such tricks before.  The President had asked what
they could do to reassure them they really were who they said they
were? And that was the opening Tom had hoped for.  He had asked for a
transport and a driver and no further questions to be asked.  They had
agreed and he, M'Nea Madeleine, and the somewhat overwhelmed driver
had set off for the street name Tom supplied for him.  Taking no
chances, Tom kept the exact destination a secret until they were on
the specified street.

Three minute's journey outside of the town limits they came to the
last property before they entered the foothills of the Derryveagh
Mountains and he told the driver to stop.  Slinging the baby bag over
his shoulder, Tom stepped out of the transport with his daughter in
his arms and onto the winding flagstone path to the front door.  The
house had changed a bit since the last time he had seen it.  The
two-storey structure now was a deep sky blue in colour with white trim
and red shutters and a red front door.  The old front porch had been
covered with a roof and a wooden railing also painted white.  The
trees in the front garden were the same though.  A bit bigger of
course, but the garden remained a riotous butterfly garden full of
what most would have considered weeds, but were heaven to the
multitudes of New Kildarean butterflies that flitted amongst the
blossoms and leaves.  As they walked down the path to the front door,
M'Nea Madeleine made a grab for one of the gaily coloured residents as
tried to perch on her nose and chattered excitedly as it seemed to
play with her, always staying just out of reach of the pudgy fingers.

He never knew if it was his footsteps or the sound of M'Nea
Madeleine's voice that made the old woman look up, but she did.  With
the high plants almost up to his waist in places and meandering path,
Tom had not noticed her on her hands and knees, trowel in hand, trying
to prise the encroaching grass out from between the flagstones.  She
looked up, big smile of greeting on her face, and froze.  Her mouth
worked only no sound came out.  Shakily, she pushed herself up to her
feet, brushing her large straw hat off of her white haired head and
stared at him.

"Ogha?" she whispered and reached out and caressed his cheek with her
fingertips, leaving dark smudges of earth behind.

The hairs on the back of his neck finally lay down.  Tom closed his
eyes and sighed.  "Seanmhair," the "grandson" whispered to his
"grandmother," finally admitting he really was on New Kildare.

---

Seven was disappointed to find out she was correct in her prediction.
When the ship's computer had told her Ensign Kim was not sleeping in
his quarters but very much awake in the Mess Hall, she had known the
odds favoured he was staring out at the stars, not secretly making up
for all those missed meals.  And the odds were correct.

If he heard her mounting the steps to his level, he did not react to
it.

"It is a puzzle to me," Seven said, looking out at the unmoving stars
herself, "precisely what it is that so fascinates the crew that they
are drawn to this view.  It is nothing they have not seen before."

He maintained his detached silence.  Seven found this irrationally
annoying all of a sudden and she reacted with an uncommon display of
anger.  She grabbed his upper arm and whipped him around to face her.

"Ensign, your moping has persisted long enough.  If you are upset,
show it.  Though I do not understand it personally, containing one's
emotions is deemed unhealthy both physically and emotionally."

"Leave me alone," he demanded, trying to jerk free of her hold.

Naturally stronger with her Borg enhancements, her hold was next to
impossible for him to break.  "No, you are in need of companionship,
not isolation, if you are to work through everything that has happened
to you lately."

"What can you possibly tell me about emotions?  You might as well be
Vulcan for all the emotions you feel!"

That verbal slap in the face was enough to cause her to unconsciously
loosen her hold on him and he was able to break free.

"The opinion that Vulcans do not understand or feel emotions is
incorrect," she informed him, stiffly.  "Their lack of visible
emotional response is dictated by necessity, not deficiency.  If
anything, they feel things more intensely than other species."

"Whatever," he dismissed.  "I still want to be left alone."

"I am your friend, Ensign.  I wish to help."

"Fine, you want to help?  Erase the passed month.  That's how you can
help.  If you can't do that, then leave me alone."

"Interference with the past is strictly prohibited by Starfleet
regulations," she said, unknowingly parroting Chakotay's words to the
Captain the day before.  "As is tampering with the memories of an
individual, except in very rare circumstances.  Your situation does
not fulfil the necessary criteria."

"Oh, and just what would you know of my *situation*, huh?"

"I know you had a shock when Mr. Paris' past was revealed.  I know you
suffered immeasurably when Souris died.  I know you feel guilt over
what nearly happened during your imprisonment.  And I know you are
terribly upset by Mr. Paris' leaving without saying goodbye to you."

"You seem to think you know a lot," he muttered, turning away.

"No, I do not.  If I did, I would know how to ease your pain, but I do
not."

A note of despair had crept into her voice and hearing it, he tilted
his head towards her briefly to give her a calculating look before
walking out.

She watched him go then unconsciously discovered the reason why
everyone would stare out at the stars as she lost herself in them and
in thought.

---

"A few hours?" the old woman gasped.  "You've been here a few hours
already?  Why didn't you contact us?"

Tom dipped his head a little so she could take a swipe with the damp
towel at the dirt she had left on his face when she had touched it.
"I wasn't sure this *was* New Kildare.  I thought it might be an alien
trap."

"And what changed your mind?" she asked, walking across the large
kitchen to return the towel to its hook.

"You."

"Me?" she laughed, her entire face lighting up in a way that had not
changed since he was a boy.

"Anyone else... they could have duplicated them and I wouldn't have
noticed the difference.  Even people I knew slightly, I could have
excused changes over the years.  But you, Seanmhair,... Not you."

"Are you saying I'm stuck in a rut?  Huh?"

"No, ma'am," he laughed back.

Seeing her father in such good spirits, M'Nea Madeleine giggled too
and patted his cheek.

"She is a true gift, Thomas," the old woman sighed, coming over to
caress a plump, lavender cheek.

His face sobered and he nodded.

"I'm sorry to have brought back such bad-"

"No, it's okay, Seanmhair," he insisted.

"Where could Oran be?" she grumbled, going to the large window over
the sink and looking across the back gardens towards a small shed at
the bottom of the garden.  "I swear that man does this just to drive
me insane, Thomas."

"Well, you married him, Seanmhair."

"And I knew I was marrying the stereotypical absentminded professor."
She glanced over her shoulder at him.  "Why don't you go see if you
can root him out of there while I get started on dinner?"  Turning,
she gave him a good once over.  "And I think it'll be something more
substantial than what I'd planned for Oran and I.  You could use some
fattening up."

He ignored the reference to his abnormally thin frame.  "Seanair's
still into woodworking?"

"Yes."  She heaved a long-suffering sigh.  "Finally had to tell him he
had to start offering his work for sale at the village shops.  There
was getting to be no more room in the house for everything he was
making.  He almost can't keep up with the demand now."

"That's great."  He looked at the shed then down at M'Nea Madeleine.
"I don't think I should take her in there.  All that dust."

"I'll take her."  She held out her hands to accept the child.  Seeing
she was about to get someone else to lavish attention on her, M'Nea
Madeleine almost overbalanced and fell out of Tom's arms in her
eagerness to get to the woman.  "Oh, goodness.  You are the
affectionate one, aren't you?"

Tom hooked the baby bag over a chair back.  "You're sure you'll be
okay?"

"Yes, yes.  We'll be just fine, won't we, leanaban?"

"Okay.  I'll go get Seanair then I'll be back to help with dinner."

"Don't rush.  You know what he's like when he's working.  It's like he
is transported into another universe all his own."

"Transport!  That poor guy's still out there."  Tom rushed out of the
kitchen, down the long hallway to the front door.  He totally had
forgotten about the driver of the transport who patiently was waiting
for him.  "Sorry about that," Tom apologized to the man still behind
the controls.  "You can go home or whatever now.  I'll be staying
here."

"But my instructions were to be your driver," he protested.

"I'll clear it with the President or whomever later.  Don't worry."

While the man clearly was not happy with losing the cache being their
visitor's personal driver would bring, he had no choice but to leave.
Tom watched him go then started back up the flagstones, this time
following the path around the house and through the back gardens, a
far more ordered affair than the front one.  He stopped at the small
water garden in the centre and just stood there, drinking it all in.
The low walled kitchen garden off of the house.  The dwarf fruit trees
in the small orchard.  The unruly briar patch that was the source of
blackcaps for Nana's prize-winning blackberry pies.  And beyond all
that, the foothills and the mountains.  He thought he never would see
any of this again yet here he was.  He closed his eyes and birds
chatter, the wind through the leaves, and the splash of the water from
the artificial waterfall in the pond.  'This was Heaven,' he sighed.
'This was home.'

Reluctantly his eyes opened.  'And I could not have found it at a
worse time.  How am I supposed to keep my promises now?  How do I go
to Seanmhair and Seanair and say "Sorry, I know I just got here, but I
have to go now and probably get myself killed trying to avenge the
deaths of the Rachar.  And if I don't, when I get back to the Alpha
Quadrant to avenge the deaths of my Team, I certainly will then.  But
nice seeing you again.  Good to know you're alive."  Yeah, that would
go over well.'

He sat heavily on the bench facing the pond and held his face in his
hands, elbows resting on his knees.  'Why was life always jerking him
around,' he wondered.  'Why did it delight in giving him tastes of
Heaven then consigning him to Hell over and over again?  Finding
B'Elanna and achieving a position of respect on Voyager then finding
out he was an AlphaOmegan and about the deaths of his colleagues.
Finding in the Rachar a people who needed him and valued him then
failing them and losing them.  Now he had found people and a place he
had thought lost forever and if he was to keep his promises to his
dead Team and the Rachar he would have to leave here, probably never
to return.'

"Sunbird?" Sunfire called over the subdermal communicator he still had
implanted behind his ear.

Dropping his hands, he looked around to see the garden remained empty
then spoke.  "Yes?"

"You okay?"

"Been better.  This *is* New Kildare."

"I know.  I was listening in.  Sunbird, who are these people?  I
consulted your record and both sets of your grandparents are deceased
and none of them were named Oran or Nana O'Connell."

"They aren't relations.  Grandfather and Grandmother are only honorary
titles.  My mother had friends who were from here and were killed in
an accident on Earth when I was a boy.  She was entrusted to bring
their ashes back here for burial and she brought my sisters and I with
her for a vacation since my father was off on some mission.  We ended
up staying for four and a half months after Mom was asked to lecture
at New Dublin University.  She met Nana O'Connell at a faculty
function. Seanmhair was in the psychology department.  Retired now."
He shook his head.  "I didn't want to go back to Earth when the time
came to leave them and this place.  I wish I hadn't."

"But then you would have been Relocated along with the rest of the
system."

"And I wouldn't have had the rest of my life messed up by The
Protectors.  I wouldn't have been around for them to use.  I would
have turned out to be such a good person if I'd grown up here, away
from The Protectors."

"You are a good person."

"No, I'm not and you know that better than anyone.  You're looking at
my file.  You know everything I've done.  The majority of that would
have happened had I been here."  He ran his hands over his face.  "But
it's too late now."  He heard the happy laughter of M'Nea Madeleine
wafting on the breeze through the open windows of the kitchen behind
him.  "But maybe not for her."

"What are you going to do?"

Tom got to his feet and started for the shed with renewed purpose.
"Get Seanair for supper then talk to them about the future."

Stopping in the doorway of the garden shed that had been enlarged and
converted into a workspace for the rabid woodworker was like stepping
back in time for Tom.  It was not just that all of the equipment Oran
used exclusively in his craft were replicas of the tools used in the
1800s on Earth.  It was the sight of him bent over his lathe, the
smell of oils, resins, and varnishes he used to preserve the finished
pieces, the sound of the foot powered machine at work.  All of it took
him back to his childhood and the first time he had peaked into this
mysterious building.

He had come to see what had so absorbed the distracted man who had
left here under duress to take tea with his wife and her offworlder
guests. Tom had never seen anyone at any sort of function doodle on a
linen napkin with the handle of his teaspoon, the end of which was
repeated dipped in juice from the slice of blackberry pie that had
been placed before him.  In the Paris family, one had to observe their
manners, pay strict attention to the conversation, and not insult the
guests by demonstrating so blatant a disinterest in them.  Anyone,
especially an adult, who so flagrantly refused to conform to the rules
of social etiquette was someone Tom wanted to know.

And get to know him he did.  He had spent almost as many hours down
here as he had with Nana in the kitchen learning to cook or in the
gardens learning horticulture and the ancient tales and songs from
Ireland.  Seanair, for all his airs of being an absent-minded
professor, was every bit as astute and well-read as his wife, though
living in his own little universe at times.  As he taught Tom how to
use the old tools, he also had taught him much about life and the
value of history, especially after Tom had hit his finger with a
hammer for the third time then tried to refuse to use the "antiquated
monstrosities" any longer.  Though he had not been as enamoured with
the low-tech methods of the Nineteenth Century, Tom's fascination with
the Twentieth Century was directly due to this man's influence.  He
had taught Tom how to see the past in a new light and with a new
appreciation.  But Tom never had had the chance to say "thank you."
Now he did.

He stepped into the well-lit interior and skirted the workbenches to
the back of the shop where Oran worked at a lathe, turning a table
leg.  Tom said nothing, not wanting to distract him into ruining the
leg or hurting himself.

"Hand me that sandpaper," Oran asked, not even looking up.

Tom passed him the square and smiled as Oran launched into an
explanation of what he was making, even getting Tom to do some of the
work on the next leg they turned.  As they walked up to the house
almost an hour later, Tom realized he never had said what he wanted to
say nor had his seanair seemed to notice any time had passed since the
last time Tom had last been there all those years ago.  He had picked
up the lessons in woodcraft right where they had left off.  Smiling to
himself, he followed the old man into the house.  'You could go home
again,' he sighed silently, permitting himself to bask in the moment
for the time being.

---

"Captain, communications just came back on line and we received this.
You'd better read it."

E'Cta, the captain of the Gherop ship C'Cri, looked up from her
reports to see her First Officer, R'Eti, standing in her office
doorway.  She motioned her inside and accepted the report.  "The ship
we were chasing two intervals ago?" she asked after reading it.

"Exactly, Captain.  What do I tell the Homeworld."

The Captain considered it.  "We tell them the truth.  After one
hundred and forty-seven intervals patrolling our border with the
X'Kri'Ri Federation, we were on our way to spacedock for much needed
repairs when we detected a ship of unfamiliar design and attempted to
pursue it.  Unfortunately our systems were unable to keep up with the
strain and we lost all power and are just getting it back on line
now."

"Yes, Captain."

"And forward it to me before transmission."

"Of course, Captain."

Watching her Executive Officer go, she began to reconsider.  'How was
the transmission going to sound to the Homeworld?' she thought.
'Those pampered bureaucrats had no idea what it was like out on the
front lines, with the lack of trained personnel and supplies, making
do with what they could scrounge and crews of inexperienced and
uneducated slaves.  There was little doubt they are going to blame us
for not having captured this Voyager when we had the chance.  They
wouldn't care that we will be lucky if our ship doesn't entirely fall
apart before we reach spacedock.  All they'll care about is Voyager
was within our grasp and we had let her get away.'

E'Cta lurched to her feet and began pacing.  'All my years of
decorated service to the Empire will mean nothing now.  There has to
be some way to salvage this situation.  Something more than just
sending them an explanation and Voyager's last known co-ordinates.
We're going to have to catch her first.  Then they'll have nothing to
complain about.'

Smiling, she strode out intent on her destination of the Bridge.

---

"You've read this?"

N'Tra nodded to T'Ne.  "As per your orders, communications gave it to
me and have not 'bothered' R'Co while she is busy preparing for the
Ceremony."

"Busy thinking up ways to alter the Crown Jewels probably.  I told you
she wasn't wearing them the last time I saw her, but she was wearing
at least four other sets of crown jewels?"

"No, you didn't.  Just like I haven't told you she can't alter what
she can't find."

"What?"

"When you told me what she was having done to the robes and
head-dress, I took the liberty of removing the Crown Jewels to a safer
location. One she'd never think to look in.  I tried to tell you, but
she commanded your appearance just as I was about to explain.  Did I
do wrong?" she asked in a "frightened" voice.

"No, no, you did right, N'Tra.  Quite right.  Well done.  I'm sure
when we are able to remove R'Co from the picture, D'Itu will be quite
pleased with both our efforts to preserve Gherop state treasures."  He
smirked.  "Even if he's not properly appreciative at first, he will be
as time goes by.  D'Itu is so... malleable, so suggestible.  Under
him, the Empire will be a far saner place than under T'Do or R'Co.
It'll just take the right hands guiding him."

"Like yours?"

"Hmm.  Now we just have to get him on that throne."

She made no comment.

"You get on with your other duties.  I have to give R'Co an edited
version of this news from the C'Cri."

She left him to his visions of a future as the puppetmaster
controlling the most powerful individual in the Universe as far as the
Gherop were concerned.  Little did he know what a fool's paradise he
was living in.

---

"So you're not going to tell me who's coming to supper?"

Nana shook her head at Tom as he lowered himself to the couch across
from her living room chair.  "No, it's a surprise," she refused, her
eyes on her husband and their "great-granddaughter."

The moment Oran and Tom had finished washing up for dinner, Tom had
gone straight to where M'Nea Madeleine sat on her blanket to pick her
up and a curious Oran had followed him.  It had been love at first
sight for the old man and the child.  He immediately had dove out the
backdoor only to reappear a couple of minutes later with a large
wooden box.  Leading them all into the living room, he had moved the
coffee table off to one side and removed the wooden toys from the box
to set out on the area rug.  Now the old man and the little girl were
sprawled on the floor, playing with such enthusiasm it was hard to
tell who was the bigger child.

"Seanmhair, Seanair, I want to-"

"Nana?  Oran?  Anyone home?" a male voice called from the direction of
the hall.

"In here," Nana answered back.  The old woman smiled as the footsteps
coming down the hall from the entryway stopped in the living room
doorway.  "Stephane.  Maaike.  Come in."

Tom turned his head and saw two people he would have recognized even
after all these years and without Nana's having said their names.  A
big smile split his face as he rose and rounded the couch to greet
them as they came forward anxiously.

The man reached Tom before his female companion did and he enveloped
him in a back slapping bear hug.  "We didn't believe it when Nana
called us," Stephane admitted.  "We had to come to see for ourselves."

"Yes," Maaike agreed, taking her turn to hug the visitor.  "It seems
impossible, but here you are none the less."

"Yes, I'm here," Tom smiled.  Drawing back, he ran his eyes over her
jaw-length, dark blonde hair, green eyes, and petite frame.  "You're
still a shrimp, Maaike."

"Hey!"  Grinning, she punched him in the shoulder and he feigned
injury.  "Just because you're an overgrown -- Stop laughing,
Stephane!" she growled, whirling on the other man.  "You're not much
bigger."  She poked him in his rounded stomach.  "In some ways."

"Huh!"  Stephane drew himself up to his full height -- admittedly only
a head taller than her -- and rubbed his belly.  "I'm just well
insulated."

"And a really cold winter's coming?" Tom joked and received a glare.
Had it not been for the twinkle Tom saw in the man's brown eyes, he
might have thought his childhood friend truly was offended.  "And
what's with this?" he asked, tugging the goatee a slightly darker
shade of brown than the rest of Stephane's hair.

"It's distinguished," its owner defended, slapping the hand away then
carefully preening.  "What's with this?" he countered, tapping Tom's
high hairline.

"It's distinguished," Tom laughed back.

"Oh and who are you?" Maaike cooed, squatting down.

M'Nea Madeleine was peering around the corner of the couch she clung
to in an effort to keep herself upright.

"This is M'Nea Madeleine," Tom explained, walking towards his daughter
and holding out his hands towards the child.  "Come here, sweetheart.
It's okay."

Releasing her death grip on the furniture she took on wobbly step,
nearly taking a tumble in her haste.  Only her foster father's quick
reflexes caught her before she hit the hardwood floor.  She squealed
with delight as he lifted her into his arms and kissed her chubby
cheek.

Maaike straightened and raised an eyebrow.  "She's yours?"

"Not exactly."  As they sat down, he explained the tragedy of Rachar
and New Rachar and how the child had come to be in his custody.

"So there aren't anymore Rachar anywhere?"

Tom lowered M'Nea Madeleine back to the floor and she took two
waddling steps towards Oran and fell on him, not that Oran minded all
that much given his laughter.  "I don't know.  Maybe on the Gherop
Homeworld or somewhere else.  I don't know if the Gherop moved their
slaves from one place to another or what."

A bell sounded from the kitchen.

"Supper's ready," Nana announced, standing.  "You can tell us all
about everything at the table. You kids can set the kitchen table.
Oran?"

Her husband continued to make faces at the child.

"Oran!"

He blinked at her.  "Huh?"

"Suppertime.  Clean up your toys and bring her."

Instantly, he began placing the toys back in the box.  "You can try
out the highchair I've just finished," he told M'Nea Madeleine.
"Stephane, would you mind-"

Stephane nodded.  "It's down in the shop?"

"Hmm."

"Be right back."

He jogged out and the others went to the kitchen.

---

Naomi knew she was supposed to be asleep, just like she knew she was
supposed to only go to the holodeck with the permission of her mother,
Neelix, or babysitter but she did not care about what she was
"supposed to do" anymore.  All her short life she had been told what
she and others were "supposed to do" and, to her at least, it was
clear it was all lies.  That was why she was heading for the holodeck
right now, in the wee hours of the morning, while her mother slept in
their quarters in the calm assurance her offspring was doing likewise.

The offspring in question did not know the programme she ran as soon
as she reached Holodeck Two had very nearly ceased to exist after her
mother had learned the truth about Tom Paris, its creator.  With
everything that had happened during the intervening time, Sam never
had found the time to finish her debate about the safety in permitting
Naomi to continue to play with her holographic playmates and the
teacher designed by a man of Tom Paris' dubious mental stability and
shady past.  So it was only luck that made it possible for Naomi to
call up her birthday present and enter to play with them on the Resort
beach.

As expected, the holograms found her the instant she touched the sand.

"There you are!" Fala shouted, running up to her.  "You were gone ever
so long."

As the other children came up to her, Naomi sunk to a seated position
on the sand.

"What's wrong?" Allegia asked, sitting beside her.

Haltingly, she told them of recent events.  "Tommy left.  He told me
he was going because the Rachar needed him only that was a lie.  He
left because Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim were having an affair."
She started to cry.  "Tommy lied to me!"

"He would not lie," Mor, the young Klingon, insisted.  "He is not like
that."

Siobahn, the hologram who had been intended to be their teacher,
settled herself slightly behind Naomi and scooped her up into her lap.
Cuddling the child to her, she tried to make sense of the situation to
herself and the children.

"I'm sure if there is more to his leaving than what Tom told you,
there had to have been a good reason he kept it to himself.  If he did
not share it with you then maybe it was because it was too painful for
him to.  Sometimes it hurts more if you say out loud what you're
feeling inside, even if you do feel better in the long run."

"I hate them," Naomi insisted.  "All of them."

"You don't hate them."

"I do!  I hate Mommy and Neelix for not letting me see Tommy.  I hate
the Captain and everyone else for making him feel bad.  I hate
Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim for hurting Tommy.  And I hate Tommy
for lying to me and leaving me!"

The hologram of Sunfire's organic self held the wailing half-Ktaran
closer.

---

"Tom?" Maaike called for the second time since they had started down
the flagstone path towards the middle of the garden.

While the others had played cards, Tom had excused himself and M'Nea
Madeleine to take her out to the moonlit garden show her fireflies,
something he was sure she had never seen in her short life.  Everyone
had taken him at his word, only doubting him when an hour had passed
and he still had not returned.  Stephane and Maaike were dispatched
and found him on the bench beside the pond, staring at the surface,
seemingly lost in thought as he stroked the hair of the little girl
cuddled in his lap, asleep.

In reality, had Tom not left their company when he had he knew he
never would be able to.  He had been playing on the living room rug
with M'Nea Madeleine and her new toys.  Stephane was teasing Maaike
about her brother Niels "whom she loved dearly but had been driving
her up the wall that day."  Oran meanwhile had been trying to prove
Nana's "luck" at cards was "cheating" by another name.  With all this
going on around him, Tom had felt warm feelings of home, love, and
happiness building within him, feelings that had quickly been blotting
out all others.  Only a chance comment by Maaike about her plans for
revenge on Niels for some prank made Tom remember his own plans for
revenge.

This had disturbed him.  Avenging the deaths of the Rachar and, before
that, those of his Team had been all that had been keeping him going
for so long.  Now, after only a few short hours with these people, he
was in danger of forgetting all that.

Part of him said: "Give in already.  Just stay here and be safe and
happy for the rest of your life.  You have 'grandparents' who love
you.  Friends who care about you.  A little girl who adores you.  It
would be such a beautiful life if only you would abandon your thoughts
of vengeance."

The other part of him, the part in which those thoughts of vengeance
originated, said: "Go and go now before it was too late.  Before they
have you so wrapped up in their lives you'll never want to go."  That
part of him knew if he did not do what he had planned to do,
eventually he would not be able to live with himself.  Even now it was
hard for him to look at M'Nea Madeleine without some little part of
his brain remembering the Rachar and New Rachar's destruction.  How
long would it be before that small part of him began to grow and turn
to resentment of those who had kept him here, preventing him from
following through with his promises to his Team and the Rachar.  He
loved them too much to let it turn to hate when he could do something
to prevent it.

These warring sides were what had taken him out of the house and into
the back gardens.  Tom needed peace and quiet to listen to the
pacifist and the combatant duke it out.  Despite the fact he already
knew who would win, he was hoping he could be proved wrong.

Stephane gently touched Tom's shoulder.  "Tom?"

"It's so beautiful here," the pilot sighed, eyes closing.  "So quiet
and peaceful.  I can almost forget the rest of the Universe is out
there, not being so quiet or peaceful."

"Tom, what's wrong?" Maaike asked, sitting down next to him.

"It's been a long time since I've been in a peaceful place," he
continued, talking more to himself than them.  "Physically been there.
I can't remember the last time I was there mentally or emotionally.
It probably was before all this began, before I found out the truth
about what I am."  A look of bliss came over his face.  "I do
remember.  I was in B'Elanna's arms, after I got back from a difficult
Away Mission.  We made love then just held each other, not saying
anything for the longest time.  Everything just felt so right, so
perfect."  The expression faded as reality crept back in and he opened
his eyes.  "But it was all an illusion."

Stephane lowered himself to a large rock on the edge of the pond and
faced the other two.  "Why do you say that?"

Tom's sad eyes focused on what he could see of his friend in the full
moon's light.  "She never loved me.  It turns out she really was meant
to be with my best friend, Harry Kim, only I guess they didn't realize
that until after I was in the picture then it was too late to break
things off with me."  His eyes turned inward.  "Only now they know the
truth about me and don't want me in their lives anymore so they don't
see any further obstacles in their way to stop them from being
together."

"That's the second time you've said 'found the truth out about you,'"
Maaike said quietly.  "What truth?"

He blinked rapidly, surfacing from himself.  He had not meant for
anyone here to ever know about himself, about his past.  He had wanted
at least one place in the Universe, one group of people he cared about
to not know him as the murderer he was.  Now that his subconscious had
betrayed him, he had two choices -- feed them some plausible lie or
tell them the truth and live with the consequences.  After a moment's
debate, he chose the latter.  There already had been too many lies in
his life.  He did not want any more.

So he slowly told them about The Protectors and their soldiers, the
AlphaOmegans.  About their recruitment and training methods.  About
the horrible things he had done all in the name of maintaining peace
in the Alpha and Beta Quadrants.  And about The Diogenes appearing not
quite a month ago, revealing all his secrets to Voyager's crew and the
fall out

from it.  He finished with a description of what had happened on
Rachar.  The Captain thinking he had been killed in a cave-in and
leaving him behind.  The Rachar finding him and his helping lead them
in what they had hoped would turn their rebellion into a revolution
and free them from the Gherop forever.  The Gherop Leader, T'Do,
ordering the Final Weapon to be deployed, resulting in the destruction
of the planet.  He even told them about removing the Gherop crews from
every ship on the planet or in orbit and packing those ships with as
many Rachar as they could before fleeing the planet for New Rachar.

When he finished, the others clearly were struggling to make sense of
all the revelations about Tom's complicated past.  Maaike was the
first to start asking for clarifications.

"Why did The Protectors not take your sisters too?" she asked.  "As I
remember it, Moira and Kathleen were very intelligent.  And they are
Parises just like you so they had the same connections and advantages
you did."

"They were tested too," he nodded, "only they failed some of the first
round tests.  If you fail them, then The Protectors ignore you from
then on.  Fail some of the third round or later tests and they might
keep you on as a technician or something, but not if it's first or
second round.  They don't have much invested in you yet so they don't
feel cutting you from consideration would be sacrificing too much time
and effort that they had put into you.  The later on in the process,
the more they've spent on you and they don't like to waste all that
work.  They'll find some way to use you."

"So once they've got you, they don't let you go." Stephane concluded.
"That's why they went to all the trouble to come after you."

"And because if I get back to the Alpha Quadrant and start telling
what I know, I could bring down the Alpha Quadrant and probably the
Beta too.  I'm too much of a security risk to be permitted to live."
He gave a mirthless laugh.  "It's funny.  By coming to ensure I did
not pose a threat to them, they actually did the opposite.  By what
they did to me and to my Team, by killing them, they've made me even
more determined to go back to the Alpha Quadrant and make them pay for
what they've done."

"But you're just one man, Tom.  They're how many?  Thousands?
Millions?  More?  If they're as well connected as you say they are,
how are you going to bring them to justice?  And to what justice?  You
say they secretly control every government.  That would mean they'd
control the systems of justice too.  How can you make them pay if they
are influencing the people who are to sit in judgement of them?"

"I have a plan.  It's bizarre and risky, but I think it's the only
way."  He turned his gaze from them to the ground.  "And I need your
help.  If you'll agree."

"What kind of help?"

He shot them each a glance.  "Nothing dangerous.  In fact you won't
even have to leave New Kildare or this quadrant to do it and The
Protectors will never know of your role in it.  All I'm asking of you
is to find me someone to look after my project and find a lab
somewhere to house it while I'm gone."

Maaike blinked at him.  "Gone?  Gone where?  You just got here!"

"I know, but that's not important.  What is important is my project is
about ready to move into the next phase and it needs to be monitored
closely and I can't do that if I'm not here."

"What is this project?"

"You're both on the faculty at New Dublin University.  Either of you
know anyone from the genetics department?"

"You know me," Stephane grinned.  "I get to know everyone who has a
pulse."

Maaike leaned towards Tom.  "Translation: he's a nosy bastard who
can't keep his mouth shut and yes, he does know someone."

"Try to arrange a meeting with them for me?" Tom asked, ignoring
Maaike's good natured ribbing of their friend.  "For tomorrow?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Good."

He paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to phrase his next
request.  He was tempted to just ask one of them to do it and skip
asking Nana and Oran.  A comment Nana had made earlier regarding his
last day on New Kildare all those years ago had made him suspect time
or more specifically age was catching up with his seanmhair.  Out of
respect and a desire not to insult her, he had not corrected her when
she had commented how terrible the weather had been the day his family
had left New Kildare to return to Earth.

"Pathetic fallacy," Maaike had remarked.  "The environment mirroring
one's inner conflict."

"Yes," Nana had agreed.  "It had known you didn't want to go, Thomas,
and it had stormed."

"It was bad weather because the weather controls had gone offline,"
Oran had corrected and been shushed in favour of the more romantic
version of events.

Tom had not told them it had been a beautiful day, yet another in a
long string of beautiful days and the weather controls had not
malfunctioned.  That minor discrepancy was understandable.
Emotionally, it had been a bad day for all of them so it made sense
their emotions would colour their memories to tell him it also had
been a bad day weather-wise.  And the O'Connells had been old when he
had met them.  Now, they were almost twenty-five years older.  Even
with all the modern medical advancements, deterioration of the mind
was to be expected.

He wondered if leaving such a young and active child as M'Nea
Madeleine with people of the O'Connell's advanced years was best for
any of them.  His daughter might turn out to be too much for them or
worse, they might have a memory lapse and forget her.

'Nonsense,' he told himself.  'You're basing all this concern on one
faulty memory.  You don't have any other indications they're a danger
to her.'  Conceding this fact, he returned to his friends and the
question at hand.

"I have another favour I might need to ask of one of you, but only if
Nana and Oran turn me down."  He smiled down at his sleeping foster
daughter.  "I can't risk taking M'Nea Madeleine with me where I'm
going.  If Nana and Oran don't think they can keep up with her, I'd
like to ask one of you to take care of her while I'm gone.  Maybe
longer.  It'll depend on how well this next phase of my project goes.
If it works like I hope, then I'll proceed with the third phase once I
get back and that means going to the Alpha Quadrant to take care of my
business there.  If all goes well, I'll come back here for M'Nea
Madeleine after I'm done."

"What kind of timeframe are we talking here, Tom?"

"I don't know.  A few days or so right now.  Maybe a couple of weeks
for the third phase.  Maybe more, maybe less.  When I originally
calculated the timeframe, I was planning on being on Voyager when I
set phase three in motion.  But now I have to rework it."

Maaike laid a hand on Tom's bicep.  "It's still not too late to go
back to Voyager, Tom.  They can't be that far away yet."

He shook his head.  "You don't understand.  I can't go back there.  I
couldn't... handle seeing Harry and B'Elanna together.  And I don't
know if they could stand me being there either.  I mean, I know they
hate me now, but I don't think it's in them to be totally devoid of
feeling towards anyone.  It's doubtful they would be able to see me
everyday, knowing how I still felt about B'Elanna.  They aren't that
hardhearted.  Nor have they forgotten what I'm like," he finished in a
whisper.

"How are you?" Maaike whispered back.

"Both of them regard me as emotionally fragile."

"Are you?" Stephane queried.

His failure to answer was all the answer they required.

"And what makes you so sure they are involved anyway?"

"After we returned from New Rachar and the Doc put me back together
again, I left Sickbay to go see what Megan Delaney wanted to talk to
me about.  Outside her quarters I met Geron Tem, her lover.  He was
mad at me for some reason.  He's never liked me anyway, but for some
reason he was extra ticked off at me that day.  He told me about
B'Elanna and Harry once having been on shoreleave months ago and seen
kissing by Megan's sister Jenny and the guy she was then dating.  I
didn't want to believe it, even after he called Jenny over the comm
and had her tell her version of it all.  I went to Harry's to talk to
him about this 'horrible rumour that was going around.'  Only I found
out it wasn't a rumour."

"And what did they say when you asked them?"

"They didn't say anything."

Stephane blinked.  "You asked them if they were having an affair and
they had no response?"

"I never asked them."

"Tom-"

"There was no need.  Harry answered the door in his night clothes and
looking like he hadn't slept in days.  Over his shoulder I saw
B'Elanna getting dressed.  From the way they looked it was obvious as
to what they had been doing.  I hardly needed to stick around for them
to draw me a picture."

Maaike looked unconvinced.  "It strikes me as odd.  Okay, so they
kissed once, months ago, maybe.  But it's an incredible leap from that
one kiss to having the two of them jumping into bed while you're lying
in Sickbay having surgery.  I know you say they hate you because of
your past and I know sometimes people do cling to one another during a
time of crisis and sometimes passions can flare under those
circumstances of heightened emotions.  But I wonder if things are
quite as cut and dried as you think."  She held up a hand.  "No, don't
reject it out of hand.  Think about it.  Doesn't it strike you as the
least bit odd and out of the character?  You've known both of them for
many years.  Was your relationships with them so shallow that they
would drop you just like that when they find out something they don't
like about you?  Something that's not of your doing or choice?"

He did think about her questions then his shoulders slumped.  "I don't
know.  All I know is the Three Musketeers are over.  B'Elanna won't
have anything to do with me now if she can help it and Harry goes out
of his way to get in my face to glare at me."  He paused.  "A lot of
that had to do with Souris, but still...."

The New Kildareans exchanged looks, knowing they were missing a chunk
of the story somewhere.

"Who's Souris," Stephane questioned.

He filled them in on yet more of the recent tragic history to which he
had been an unwilling yet resigned participant.

"It just doesn't make sense," Stephane argued the instant he had
finished.  "You're saying Harry had this whirlwind love affair with
this AlphaOmegan, Souris, that ended when you and Sunfire helped her
commit suicide, yes?  That he was totally devastated when she died, so
much so he's been so angry he's going out of his way to show you just
how angry he is.  But you're expecting us to believe that not even a
month later he's messing around with the woman you love?  Pardon me,
but either this guy's the most heartless bastard that's ever lived and
trying to get revenge on you by seducing your mate-"

"He's not like that!"

"-Or the story's screwed up somewhere."

"I don't see anything screwed up at all.  They finally realized what
everyone else knew all along and dumped me."

"And just what is this knowledge they lacked until now?"

"That I'm no good!  I never have been!  I-" M'Nea Madeleine stirred in
his arms and began to cry softly in her sleep.  Automatically, he
shifted her in his lap and gently cooed to her until she fell back to
sleep.

"But if they don't care about you anymore because you are what you are
then why did Harry go with Sunfire to Rachar to see if Captain Janeway
was wrong and you hadn't been killed in the cave-in?  He had to have
known he was risking his life.  Why would he do that for a man he
despised?  It doesn't make sense.  Unless he really was coming to make
sure you were dead or do you in himself if you weren't?"

"He's not a cold-blooded murderer.  Kill in self-defence, yes, if
absolutely necessary, but to kill me just so he could have B'Elanna or
get revenge on me?  No, it's just not in his character."

"But what you say he's done now is?"

"And what aboutthis B'Elanna?" Maaike interjected, not giving him a
chance to think up an answer for Stephane.  "Is she a liar and a
masochist too?"

"What?"

"Well, you say they've had feelings for one another for a months now,
maybe longer, only they've kept them a secret.  If you're right, then
they've been lying to themselves and you and they willingly put
themselves through pain by not being straight with you so they could
be together.  Is she usually so selfless?  Would she really make
herself and others miserable simply because they think you're too
emotionally unstable to deal with the truth?"

"Yes!  No!  I don't know."  His little girl opened her eyes a little
this time and reached up to him.  He repositioned her so she was more
or less draped over his shoulder.  "Look, I can't help that you two
don't see the writing on the wall like I do, but it's there.  She
doesn't love me anymore.  She loves him.  She would not have slept
with him otherwise.  Neither would he with her."

"But-"

"Regardless, I've left Voyager and I'm not going back.  I can't live
with things the way they were.  I'm tried of being shunned by everyone
who professed to care about me."

"So what *are* you going to do?"

"For the moment, I'm going to leave M'Nea Madeleine with Oran and Nana
if they'll have her, or one of you if they refuse."

Maaike touched the indigo hair of the child.  "Where do you have to go
that you don't think you can take her?"

"Just take care of her if I ask?"

"Of course, but-"

He rose with the child cradled to him.  "Thank you.  If you'll contact
me about that meeting with someone from the Genetics Department?"

Stephane nodded.  "Of course."

"Good.  I need to get his one to bed.  'Night."

"'Night," they chorused back.

As Tom walked away towards the house, he did not see M'Nea Madeleine
open her eyes and exchange glances with the New Kildareans over his
shoulder.

---

"Oh, it's so sad," Q pretended to weep into his handkerchief.  He was
loudly and wetly blowing his nose when his mate appeared.

"What's your problem?" she demanded, not amused by his act.

Continuing the pretence of being emotionally choked up, he told her
everything he had heard.

She countered with her own account of the meeting on Voyager --
leaving out the part about the upset Janeway of course.  The last
thing she wanted was for him to go off to comfort *her*.  Her
attention refocused on the scene before them.  "I wonder if Helmboy
knows what really is going on there."

Abandoning his "heartbroken" mien, Q shook his head.  "I doubt it.
He's not evolved enough to be able to sense it."  His attention darted
from Paris to Voyager.  "So, care to lay bets on if they succeed in
convincing Kathy to come after him?"

"It's a big galaxy," his mate observed. "I doubt they'd ever find him
if they did."

"Hmm."

"You're not helping them either."

"Why not."

"Why bother?"

"Well..."

"Well, what?  Because it would be the *nice* thing to do?  Puh-lease,
Q, this is me you're talking to.  We've been together for five billion
years.  I know you.  Nice and you are mutually exclusive terms.
Besides, the Continuum has told you to stop wasting your time with
them.  They were very explicit about that."

"It hardly would be interfering if-"

She glared at him.

"Fine.  Fine.  Let them wander aimlessly for the rest of their lives
looking for him."

"*If* they decide to go after him."

"I'm sure they will.  Kathy's not the type to leave anyone behind,
even if they want to be."

Tired of hearing of "Kathy's" virtues, she became determined to prove
Q wrong about Janeway.  "You keep watching q."

"Why?  Haven't you seen enough?  You normally don't want anything to
do with them."

"I am still trying to figure out what you two find so fascinating
about them," she lied, not wanting him to know she was interested in
seeing Janeway suffer some more before she collected her son.  "You
just keep an eye on q and I'll be back later."  With that order, she
winked out of existence again.

Q took her explanation at face value and actually did what someone
told him for once.

---

"Alarm off." B'Elanna groaned and rolled out of bed.  She stood there
for a long moment, legs braced against the bed to keep her upright
until she was awake.  Long ago she had discovered if she stayed in bed
after the alarm went off she merely would go back to sleep and that
was too tempting today.

'Something's wrong,' she thought, slowly walking towards the bathroom
to take a shower.  As she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror,
she stopped.  'Why did I sleep in my uniform?'  Taking her clothes
off, she thought about it.  'I don't even remember going to bed last
night. I must have been tired when I got back from Engineering.'

'Engineering!  That's what's wrong.  I can't feel the engines.'  As
she stood there, her brain cleared and she remembered everything that
had happened during the last two days up to falling asleep before the
meeting the night before had started in earnest.  'I have to get to
Engineering.'  She hopped into the sonic shower.  'They should be
almost ready to restart the engines.   I'll contact the others on way
there.  Maybe they'll have what they were supposed to bring to the
meeting in writing and I'll be able to work on it myself then take it
to the Captain.'

Minutes later, she found that was not necessary.  As B'Elanna rushed
from the bathroom to her closet for a fresh uniform, her eyes fell
upon a stack of padds lying on her coffee table.  'Where'd they all
come from?' she wondered, reaching out for one.  'Weapons
modifications?' She checked another.  'Shield modifications?'  She
went through them and found the others were one step ahead of her.
They had left their research behind along with a padd containing their
suggestions they had formulated during their brainstorming the night
during the meeting.

Smiling, she ran for a fresh uniform.  They had done a fine job from
what she could see.  There was little room left for the Captain to
quibble about the logic and safety of their idea.  Everyone had
surprised her -- and themselves she guessed -- with how well
everything had come together once they had pooled their information.

Once fully dressed, she collected the padds and headed for Engineering
for an update from the two co-conspirators who had not been free to
come to the meeting -- Carey and Vorik.  Their presence below had been
too vital to Engineering to let them go for long, though they had
wanted to come.

'Almost as badly as Geron,' she thought, entering the turbolift.

Geron Tem was becoming an enigma and she hated enigmas.  Was he really
there because he had realized he would lose Megan if he did not
support her desire to return Tom to them or was there something else?
Something he was not telling them?  The former was the most plausible
explanation she could find for his offer to help.  If so, why could
she not shake the feeling was something more?

She stepped out of the lift and strode down the corridor.  Whatever
Geron's motivation, he was willing to help.  The more support she had,
the greater her chances of success in swaying the Captain to her side.
The fact she had four out of eight members of the Senior Staff on her
side -- No, not four.  Five.  Baytart now was Head of Conn, whether he
or anyone else liked it.  She growled menacingly under her breath,
startling a crewman who was exiting Engineering as she was entering.
'So much for this guilt trip she had heard Janeway was on. *She*
clearly has forgotten all about Tom and *her* part in him leaving.'

B'Elanna nearly tripped when Harry Kim turned as she approached where
he, Carey, and Seven stood.  He gave her a smile that failed to reach
his eyes.  "Speaking of blame....' she thought.  'If this is him
*before* he's heard what role the two of us played in Tom's going,
how's he going to react when I finally have the chance to tell him
about Tom's message to me before he left?  Still, he has to be told.'

"I need to talk to you," she insisted.  "Later."

He nodded once then left, Seven of Nine trailing along after him.

"What's with that?"

"Harry?" Joe asked.  "Or Seven of Nine?"

"Harry I can figure out," she assured him.  "Seven?"

"Word has it over the passed couple of days she's taken to dancing
attention on him.  Any time he's not on the Bridge, she's there.  If
he were in a better mood, he'd be loving it."

"That was before Souris."

"Yeah, but he'll put it behind him eventually.  Speaking of putting
things behind you, the repairs are almost done.  The engines should be
ready to go back on line later today or tonight."  He handed her a
status report.  "And I am going to bed.  Vorik will be back on in a
couple of hours.  He's in bed right now."

"Thanks, Joe."

He lowered his voice.  "Seven called me over the comm last night and
told you slept through the meeting."

B'Elanna sighed.  "I was so tired last night, I forgot all about it
and left everything else when I stumbled out of here."

"I know.  I guessed that.  I found the padds Vorik and I gave you and
your list of arguments still lying on your desk so transferred it all
to the computer in your quarters."  He grinned.  "Guess I'll have to
admit now that I cracked your shorthand code."

She shook her head at hearing this.

"But Neelix said this morning, they left their padds there for you.
You found them?"

Nodding, she held up the stack in her hand.  "Right here.  I only had
the chance to glance at them so far."

"Well, you've got until tonight at the latest to make your move.  We
can't stall restarting the engines.  The Captain's finally out of her
Ready Room.  She hasn't been down here yet -- too scared of running
into you and having to look you in the face, I think -- but she is out
and about.  She will catch on if we stall.  And if she doesn't,
Chakotay will."

B'Elanna nodded and headed for her office to review the report and the
padds.

---

"Seanair, Seanmhair?  I need to ask you something important."

Nana set down her fork and gave Tom her full attention.  Oran,
however, continued to play "shuttlecraft coming into the shuttlebay"
with M'Nea Madeleine and her porridge.

"Seanair?"

"Oran," his wife said in a firm voice.

"Huh?" the old man blinked at them.

"Your ogha is trying to ask us something important."

"Oh.  Oh, of course."

Tom set his napkin beside his now empty breakfast plate.  "It's about
M'Nea Madeleine."

At the mention of her name, the child banged her now-empty juice cup
on the tray of her high chair.

"I want to ask you to look after her for me."

"Look after her?" Nana frowned.  "Why?"

"I have to go somewhere-"

"Go?  Go where?  Why?"

"There's something I have to do, but I can't take her with me.  And
once it's done, I have to go to the Alpha Quadrant and take care of
something there.  Again, I can't take her with me there either.  I
would like to leave her here with the two of you if you'll agree.
That is if you don't think she'd be too much of a handful for you."

"Of course we'd take her, but why are you going anywhere?  You just
got here."

"There's something I just have to do.  If everything goes right, I'll
be back here in a few days.  Well, I'll have to come back here before
I go on to the Alpha Quadrant, but-"

"A few days?"

He nodded.  "Possibly longer," he said, looking at his daughter, not
them.

"How much longer?"

"Longer."

In a rare display of mental alertness, Oran deduced the answer Tom was
trying to avoid saying for fear of worrying them further.  "Longer as
in never, Nana."

"Never?!" she gasped at her husband.  "What do you mean never?'"

"I mean he's going to do something so dangerous he might not get out
alive, that's what I mean."

"Then don't do it, Thomas!  Don't go!  We just got you back after
thinking we'd never see you again.  You can't leave us now.  You just
can't."

Tom got up from his chair and rounded the table to embrace her.
"Seanmhair, this is something I have to do.  I promised."

Nana wanted to object further.  In fact, she tried hanging on to him,
determined that if she held onto him physically, he could not go.   In
the end, she saw she could not hold on to him forever and released
him.  "We'll look after her until you return," she promised softly.

He smiled and nodded then embraced his "grandfather" too.  "I'll come
back here to get my things before I go."  He leaned down and kissed
M'Nea Madeleine's forehead then walked out.

---

"Naomi, wake up."  Siobahn gently shook the child in her lap.  "Come
on, sleepyhead.  People are coming in."

Stretching, Naomi yawned and looked about through red rimmed eyes.
The kids were just "waking" themselves.  They all had spent a long
time the night before talking through the situation, each throwing in
their own opinion while Siobahn tried to explain the behaviour of
adults.  The eleven holograms and one organic all found it as
incomprehensible as adults tended to find the behaviour of children.
Naomi finally had fallen asleep only slightly more settled in her mind
or heart than she had been when she had entered the holodeck the night
before.  She was no longer sure she hated Tom Paris.  The others,
however, remained on her hate list.

The sound of voices filtering down to her ears from the Resort's upper
terrace normally would have spurred her into action.  She was some
place she should not have been without permission.  Usually, she would
have scurried to the arch, hoping no one saw her and told her mother,
then snuck back into her room before Sam came in to wake her.  Today,
she did not care who saw her or what might happen if they did.  She
stood, called for the playmates programme to be saved, then
nonchalantly walked out passed the three couples and one single who
were sharing post-Gamma shift drinks.  The seven crewmembers were too
wrapped up in their conversation to notice her.

But Sam did notice her coming into their quarters.  "Naomi, where were
you?  I was worried.  I got up and went to wake you but you were
gone."

Her daughter refused to answer.  She walked straight to her room and
closed the door behind her.

Under normal circumstances, Sam tried to tried to respect her
daughter's privacy.  These were not normal circumstances.  She keyed
in the door release code and stepped inside.  "Naomi, this has gone on
long enough.  We are not leaving these quarters until we sit down and
talk this out."

The door chimed.

Sam mulled over ignoring it then it sounded again.  Groaning, she left
Naomi to answer it.

"Neelix," she sighed.

The Talaxian slipped inside.  "Same as yesterday?"

She nodded.  "And she was out last night.  I don't know where she went
or when she went.  She was in bed at the usual time but when I got up
this morning she was gone.  She just came in, still in her pajamas,
looking like she's been crying."

The sound of the sonic shower could be heard.

"And now she's in the shower.  I've told her we're not leaving here
until we talk."

"Knowing Naomi, she still won't talk after hearing that."

"I know, Neelix.  I don't like ultimatums either, but what else can I
do?  She's my daughter.  I can't stand this silence.  She and I always
could talk about everything.  Now she won't even look at me."  She
dropped onto the couch.  "What am I going to do Neelix?  Ever since
this thing with Lieutenant Paris started I haven't known what to do.
I thought I did.  I thought I was doing the right thing in keeping her
away from him, but was I wrong?  Was I supposed to risk something
happening to her and let them keep playing together?  Should I have
spent more time explaining his past?  She's only four years old!  How
do you explain to a four year old what The Protectors did to him?  I
don't care how bright she is, I can't explain what I comprehend
myself."

While Sam had talked, the shower had shut off again.

"I think I know of a way to get her talking again."

He did not say anything further until the muffled opening and closing
of drawers could not be heard any longer.  After Sam checked to see
Naomi was dressed in her play clothes, they entered the bedroom.

"Naomi, I have something to tell you," Neelix began, taking a seat on
the rumpled bed, "but it is rather hush-hush at the moment."

Her attention remained on her computer screen.

"It's about Tom."

She did not let on she heard him.

"And a plan to get him back here where he belongs."

This got her attention.  Though she did not turn towards them, the
cock of her head betrayed the fact she was listening.

"There was a group of us who met last night and worked on a plan for
convincing the Captain to let us go after him.  We have what we think
is a solid argument to take to her.  Once the engines are back online,
Lieutenant Torres is going to present it to her and-"

Naomi whipped around.  "She doesn't care!" she shouted.  "She doesn't
really want him back!"

In a repeat of the day before, she ran out of her and her mother's
quarters.

Confused, Sam and Neelix stared at one another until a call from one
of Sam's subordinates had her rushing to her lab to avert an
experiment turning disastrous.  Neelix was just assuring her he would
go find his godchild when the crewman he had left in charge of
breakfast called to ask if the scrambled eggs were supposed to be
incendiary devices.  With their disasters in the making, both forgot
about Naomi and her strange reaction to what they would have thought
would be good news.

---

"So you're going to give us the schematics?"

From the guest chair in Maire's office at the O'Connor Propulsion
Research Facility, Tom nodded.  "On the condition you help me, yes."

"And all the help you're asking is, while you're gone, we create one
of these ships -- minus this highlighted part-"

"That I'll install later after I've modified it a bit."

"Okay, and the information to fix Sunfire's cloak so our sensors can't
see her?"

"In case I run into someone who has the same or similar technology to
your sensors, yes.  I already spoke to the President and she approved
the trade, *if* your board of directors do likewise."

"I'm sure they will when they hear about this Gopher Hole technology
and that the President already okayed it."  She toyed with the shuttle
model on her desk.  "The President was a bit disappointed to hear how
you really got to the Alpha Quadrant, huh?"

"Word travels fast here."

"You are the biggest news since we discovered how to make our sensors
penetrate the cloud.  Within an hour of your arriving on Nana and Oran
O'Connell's doorstep, everyone here knew about it."

"The driver, I suppose."

She nodded.  "I wish you'd told me.  I wouldn't have gone on and on
about New Kildare on the trip here if I'd known you already been
here."

"I didn't know if it was a trap or what."

"Better safe than sorry."

"Or dead, yes."  He got to his feet.  "If you can talk to your
directors?  I have another meeting."

"I'll contact you at the O'Connell's?"

"I'll be checking with them later, yes."

"They looking after the leanaban then, huh?

"Yes."

Maire stood too.  "I'll talk to the directors right away, but I don't
see how they can say no."

"Good.  I'll talk to you later.  Sunfire, if you will?"

The ship transported him out of the office and into his lab aboard
her.

"You're sure this is a good idea?" she asked him.

Tom checked the read outs from his project and nodded.  "Yes, I do.
Have you off-loaded the supplies that were for New Rachar?"

"Yes, they're now in the warehouse the President told you they could
go for the time being.  The samples have gone to Nana O'Connell and
she and her husband already have dug the new garden and planted them."

"Good.  Let's just hope for M'Nea Madeleine's sake they like the
ground here and grow.  Without them to supplement her diet, she's
going to be on those pills the Doc replicated for the rest of her
life.

"But, Sunbird, what kind of life is it going to be if you get yourself
killed trying to avenge her people's deaths?  You're all she's got
now."

"She has Nana and Oran.  Maaike and Stephane will be there for her
too.  And she seems to have the talent of wrapping everyone she meets
around her little finger.  There'll be no end of people to look after
her."

"But that's not the same as you."

"Sunfire, she's only known me for a couple of days.  And she's so
young.  It's not like she'll remember me if I don't come back.  Look
at what happened on New Rachar.  How little it effected her.  I'll
never be missed."

"Sunbird, that logic is-"

"I have to leave now before I get attached to her, okay?"

"You're already attached to her."

"But right now I can still leave her here.  Much longer and I won't be
able to."

"And the O'Connells?  It's the same with them, isn't it?  If you don't
leave here now, you'll never be able to do it."

His bracing his arms against the workbench and letting his head droop
was her answer.

"Sunbird, maybe someone's trying to tell you something.  Maybe some
part of you is trying to tell you to give up these vendettas of yours
and stay here.  You could be happy here.  I know you could.  That's
why you're wanting to go now.  You're scared the longer you stay the
harder it's going to be to wrench yourself away from them and this
place."

She was hoping he might see reason when he heard it.  Unfortunately
she did not know he already had been through all this with himself the
night before and had made up her mind.  All her words did now was make
him become more resolved to go through with his choice.

Tom straightened.  "I am leaving.  The Gherop must be made to pay for
what they did to the Rachar."

"Is that because you say the Rachar needed you and you think you
failed them?"

"*I* couldn't free them from the Gherop.  *I* couldn't stop their
world from being destroyed.  *I* promised to save Zjna's daughter, but
*I* got there too late.  Zji was their hope for the future and she
died because I was too slow in getting to her."

"Sunbird, she was killed by one of the Gherop, not you."

He continued without hearing her.  "*I* even was one of the causal
factors in the Final Weapon being activated.  If *I* hadn't helped
them get inside the prison-"

"The Gherop Leader already was on his way, Sunbird.  He would have
come down hard on the Rachar regardless of whether they had stolen the
weapons and supplies from that prison."

"But he wouldn't have destroyed the planet.  That was because of what
we did and our attacking them."

"So you're going to attack them.   An eye for an eye?"

"Exactly."  He gave a final check then nodded to himself.  "So if you
aren't in favour of this you can stay.  I'll speak with the President
about borrowing one of their ships.  I can replicate the parts for a
cloaking device and-"

"And you'll get yourself killed even faster in one of those dinky
little things.  If you're determined to do this, I'm certainly not
going to let you go without me.  You'll need more back up than one of
those will be able to give you so it has to be me."

"Thank you."

"You're going to be late for your meeting with Stephane and his
experts from the University."

He nodded and patted his project.  "You'll beam this down when they
agree to look after it?"

"Of course."

She beamed him to the meeting place he had prearranged with Stephane.
Once he was gone, she sighed.  The things one did for the people they
loved.

---

"Captain, we've found Voyager's warp trail."

The C'Cri's captain nodded to R'Eti.

"Follow it."

"Yes, Captain."

'And you hold together, ship,' E'Cta ordered her ragged vessel.  'At
least long enough to find Voyager and take her or we'll end up on the
scrap heap together.'

---

"That's a -- What is that?"

Kieran rattled off a long, technical term that left Stephane even more
baffled than he had been when seconds earlier Sunfire had beamed down
the tank with the pink mass floating in it.

"A clone," Kaatje clarified, translating her husband's words.  "You
say it's only a few hours old?" she asked the clone's "father."

"Yes," Tom nodded, eyes on his project.  "The growth medium and the
chamber both accelerate the development of the embryo."

"Amazing."

Both scientists wandered off to the other side of the maturation
chamber to check its controls, leaving Stephane alone with Tom.

"This is why you wanted to meet them?  You wanted them to babysit this
while you go off and do whatever?"

Tom smiled indulgently.  "It's a bit more complicated than
babysitting, but yes."

"What's it a clone of?"

"Me."

"You?  Why are you cloning yourself?  What are you up to."

"If I don't make it back, I want to know what has to be done in the
Alpha Quadrant will get done."

"So if you do make it back you're just going to what?  Kill this
thing?  You told Kieran and Kaatje that it should be ready to leave
the chamber in a few days.  Doesn't that mean it'll be alive?
Wouldn't that be murder?"

"I'm not going to kill him, Stephane.  I started working on creating
him long before what I have to do came up.  Even if I don't make it
back, what I want him to do won't change immeasurably."

"But how will it know you're not coming back?"

"He'll wait here one week after he is 'born' and if I'm not back by
then or Sunfire hasn't come back, then he'll know what to do."

"But I always thought clones were just reproductions of the original
organism physically.  That they didn't carry the original's memories
too."

"A Romulan scientist discovered a way to duplicate not just the
organism, but the memories and mental functions as well."

"And this Romulan just gave the process to The Protectors?"

Tom gave a mirthless laugh.  "No one has to *give* The Protectors
anything.  They see something they want and they just take it."

"Is that where they got all this information you gave us?" Kaatje
asked, stepping around the tank and looking uncertainly from Tom to
the padd he had given her minutes earlier and back again.  "They stole
it?"

"Or whomever discovered it was working for them in one of their labs.
And they call it 'appropriating for the safety of the Alpha and Beta
Quadrants,' not 'theft.'  But it doesn't matter where it came from
now.  You can put it to good use.  They've been using that research to
engineer plagues or other biological weapons.  To kill people either
en masse or singly.  With it you can do good.  And once OPRF have
created more of the Vanguard class ships or someone's figured out how
to get System 091 home, you can use what you've learned to undo the
damage The Protectors have done, if you wish to."

Stephane shook his head.  "You're saying they've deliberately created
plagues?"

"They sometimes felt it necessary in light of the Big Picture."

"What is this 'Big Picture?'  That's the second time you've said
that."

Talking a deep breath, Tom told his stunned audience.  When they had
heard everything, Kaatje and Stephane both had to stumble towards
chairs before they fell down from shock.

Seeing the clone in a new light, Kieran gaped at it.  "So how do
clones fit into their plans?"

"Into the Big Picture?  I don't think they do.  They usually use them
if a Mission has gone wrong and the subject or an AlphaOmegan has been
prematurely terminated.  They grow a clone, interrogate it as they
would have its progenitor or let it complete its Mission.  Once it's
outlived its usefulness, they terminate it."

"Lovely people these Protectors of yours," Stephane remarked in a
stunned voice.  He was still too dazed to add a sarcastic tone to his
remark.

"You'd better believe it."  He turned to Kieran.  "The information I
gave you?  It's adequate compensation for babysitting as Stephane
calls it?"

"Yes, yes, quite," Kieran nodded enthusiastically.

"Good, because if it wasn't I didn't have anything else in your area
of study to bargain with.  And you can keep this a secret?  Just you
two and Stephane in on this?"

"We'll have to bring in our assistant.  We can't stay here all night
to monitor him.  The kids home alone's not a good idea.  Not if we'd
like to have the house standing and some food in the pantry when we
get home.  P.J. usually stays the night here to look after any
experiments.  You can trust her to keep her mouth shut."

"Fine."  He gave the tank a final glance.  "You won't need to do
anything more than monitor his vitals and help him out of the tank
when he's reached maturity.  He'll take it from there."

"You don't want to leave any instructions for him?"

"When he comes out he'll be ready to go.  All of my memories and
skills are lying dormant in him.  When he wakes, they'll awaken too.
All he'll be missing is my memories from the moment I extracted the
cells I used to create hi-" His hands came up to massage his temples.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."  The hands dropped.  "Just a slight headache."

Kaatje hurried towards her desk.  "Do you want something?  I have-"

"No, I'll get something on Sunfire.  I have to get going now anyway.
Thank you for this," he smiled at Kieran and Kaatje.

They both smiled and nodded back.

"Come on, you," Tom said, draping an arm over Stephane's shoulders.
"Let's leave them to their real work."

"Let me come with you," Stephane almost begged once they were out of
the genetic sciences building and in the courtyard.  "You can't
possibly do whatever it is you're meaning to do alone."

"I won't be alone.  Sunfire will be there."

"But that's not the same as having another set of hands.  I could go
places she can't.  I could-"

Tom laid his hands on his friend's shoulders.  "I appreciate the
offer, Stephane.  I really do, but I can't accept it.  I'm trained for
this sort of thing.  You're not.  And if anything ever happened to you
I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"But-"

"No, Stephane."

Seeing he was fighting a losing battle, he nodded.

"Besides, you and Maaike promised to help out Oran and Nana with M'Nea
Madeleine."

Unable to say anything around the lump in his throat, Stephane smiled.

Giving him a crooked smile of his own, Tom embraced him then turned
away.  Sunfire took the hint and beamed him to her.

"You okay?" Sunfire asked the moment he appeared on the Bridge.

Entering the turbolift, Tom swallowed his emotions and nodded.

"Maire Molloy is hailing.  You want to me to stall her?"

"Wait until I'm in the computer core room," he said in a rough voice.
He cleared his throat as the lift let him out on the appropriate deck
and he started down the corridor.

"Sunbird, you can still change-"

"I'm not going to change my mind."  He entered the room housing the
main computer core and sat at the console there.  "On screen."

Maire's excited face appeared.

"I take it they agreed?"

She nodded.  "They think they may be able to apply the theories behind
the Gopher Hole to our research into getting us back to the Alpha
Quadrant."

"And the ships?"

"They agreed to the trade.  You get the first one off the line in
exchange for the information you've given us.  In fact, they are so
anxious, they've already working on producing the first one.  Within a
week, we should have our own Vanguard class ships."

"A week?  That's impossible."

"I said they were anxious.  They think having them around will be a
good security measure in case someone comes along who can find their
way through the dust cloud."

"I see.  And the information about your sensors?  You talked them into
giving it to me?"

"I did you one better."  She held up a padd and a part about the size
of Tom's fists placed together.  "We came up with a modification to
Sunfire so you're invisible to the sensors and replicated the part for
you."  Maire grinned.  "You're not going to attack us or anything, are
you?"

"Hadn't planned on it, but if you want me to...?" he smiled back.

She set it on her desk.  "So all you have to do is install it and
you're ready."

"Sunfire?"

The ship beamed the two items to the console before him and he scanned
the padd.  "Okay, no problem."  He lowered the padd.  "And what about
the other item?"

"You can beam it to my personal lab.  I'll keep it safe there until
it's needed."

"Good.  I'll beam it to you before we leave.  Thank you, Maire."

"You just come back soon and in one piece."

Tom nodded and ended the communication.  "Last chance to change your
mind, Sunfire."

"I'm not going to," she insisted.  "Wherever you go, I go."

Smiling sadly, he stroked the nearest wall.  "Even if it's straight to
Hell?"

"Even if."

Nodding, he opened a box on a nearby table.  From it he extracted a
part and began attaching it to the computer core.  "I'm going to start
the duplication then go see Nana and Oran."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"There shouldn't be any problems," he said, snapping the last
connector into place.  "I've done this with other ships before and
under battle conditions without any problems so you're not at risk of
anything going wrong and me not here to monitor you while this
happens."

"No, I meant you going to see them."

"I have to say goodbye.  I told them I would."

"If you see them, you might just change your mind about going."

"Nothing will change my mind.  I am not going to abandon my promises
for them or anyone.  I can't."

He double-checked his handiwork.  Her central computer core now looked
like it was being attacked by a large parasite.

"Ready?"

"Yes.  I left the cargo hatch open so you can get out."

"Thanks."  He tapped the command sequence and the "parasite" lit up as
Sunfire's entire being and memory began to be copied into it.  A quick
check that everything was working as it should then Tom exited the
ship through the doors she had left open for him.

---

"What do we do?" Maire asked her guest as Stephane and Maaike entered
the office.

"We have to let him go," was the reply.  "You gave him the module?"

"Yes, and it already has been installed."

"Good.  This is what I want you three to do."

---

"Tom, please rethink this," Nana begged.  "You could get killed."

"Seanmhair, I have to do this," he insisted as he crossed the kitchen
to the sunny corner where M'Nea Madeleine was playing with her toys.
The instant she saw him, she held up her arms to be picked up.
Smiling, Tom did just that.

"But think of M'Nea Madeleine.  Her mother gave her to you."

"I *am* thinking of her.  That's why I have to go do what I have to do
and she's staying here where she'll be safe, on New Kildare with you
and Oran.  Here she'll have a normal life with good people to raise
her and not have to worry about the Gherop ever again.  That's what
her mother wanted for her.  A life different from the one she was born
into.  And if I'm successful, she'll never have to worry about what
happened to her people ever happening to her or you."

Pressing a kiss to the plump lavender cheek, he held the giggling
little girl closer.  "You be good for them, little one," he whispered
into her hair.  "I'll be back to make sure you are."  With one final
squeeze, he handed her over to Nana to whom he gave her a similar
goodbye.

Though the older woman did her best not to cry, the tears were there
in her eyes and he felt answering ones threatening to well up.  Before
they could fall, he hurried from the room and out of the house in
search of Oran to say goodbye.

As he stepped out into the sunshine, M'Nea Madeleine seemed to at last
understand what was going on and she began to cry.  Days later, he
would look back on this moment and wish he had followed his gut
instinct and immediately re-entered the house and not gone anywhere.

But he did not.  He instead determinedly walked down the path to the
shed where he thought he would find Oran.  Only he was not there.  The
shed was empty.  Stepping back outside, he scanned the backyard,
searching for Oran.  A splash of red sweater against the green grass
of the foothills alerted him to where his "grandfather" was.

Fifteen minutes later, Tom's hike was over and he was standing beside
the rock on which Oran lay, staring up at the clouds.

"I remember the first time I saw you," Oran said quietly.  "This
gangly boy staring so longingly at the model schooner I had
constructed."

"It was beautiful."

"And I made a present of it to you when you left."

"And you promised to show me how to make my own the next time I came
to visit."  Tom stopped smiling.  "Only there never was next time."

"Until now."  Oran rolled his head towards him.  "I won't try to talk
you out of this.  I know your seanmhair will have tried that already
and if she with her powers of persuasion could not change your mind,
nothing will.  But I will say this: I have some blocks of wood in my
workshop with your name on them.  It would be a shame if they were to
go to waste."

Swallowing hard, Tom nodded.

Oran returned to watching his clouds and Tom slowly walked away.

---

"We're almost ready to restart the engines," Vorik told his Chief
quietly.

B'Elanna slowly tilted her head up from her work to blink at him.
"But- "

"We finished sooner than we expected, Lieutenant.  That last relay
*was* salvageable after all.  Just looked ruined."

"They need to be scanned and checked for microscopic fractures and-"

He stopped her desperate whisper with a shake of his head.  "Already
done.  They tested well within acceptable parameters.  We cannot stall
any longer.  We have to restart the engines."

"But I'm not ready."  She gestured to the padd in her hand.  "This
isn't enough.  There's still room for her to say no."

"I am aware of that, but we have to think of the safety of everyone
aboard and restart the engines.  What if the Gherop or someone else
comes along?  You know how dangerous it is to perform a cold start."

Lowering her eyes, she nodded sadly.  She was being selfish, placing
her desire for more time to consolidate their plans over the safety of
everyone else on board.  As a Starfleet Officer she could not do that.
"Begin the pre-start."  She got to her feet.  "Let me know when you're
ready.  I'll be with Janeway."

---

"You're back."

"Yeah," Tom acknowledged, disconnecting the "parasite" from Sunfire's
computer core.  "That didn't hurt, did it?"

"No, I'm fine.  How are you?"

"Been better."

"Last chance to change your mind," she pointed out, parroting his own
words of forty-five minutes earlier.

"No need."  He locked the module containing the duplicate of Sunfire's
"mental" functions into a box.  "Just beam this to Maire's lab and
I'll install the new module."

The box and its contents vanished as Tom left the room for
Engineering.  Thanks to Maire's detailed instructions and the simple
design, it was less than fifteen minutes before he was finished and
Sunfire now was more than a match for the New Kildarean ships.

"Everything is working as it should," Sunfire reported, showing Tom
the sensor readings.  Sure enough, she now was able to see through the
dust cloud as though it was not there.

"Good.  I'll inform the PTC we're leaving then we'll go find the
Gherop and settle a score."

Five minutes later, as she shot into the sky and engaged her cloak,
Sunfire never noticed every New Kildarean in the area turn and watch
her go with sad looks on their faces.  The looks lifted a little when
two shuttles took off a few minutes later and flew out of the cloud.
One shadowed Sunfire.  The other headed in the opposite direction.
Neither were noticed by Sunfire, even with her "improved" sensors.

---

"How does he manage to survive with such a tiny brain," Q bemoaned,
shaking his head at the departing Sunfire and her pilot.  "So
oblivious to the Universe around him."

His eyes traced the path of the second ship and he debated temporarily
abandoning the monitoring of his son in favour of pursuing his
interest in this new curiosity.  Then he saw where it was headed and
reverted to his original plan to follow his son as he followed the man
who so intrigued him.  He would find out what the second ship was up
to soon enough.

---

"May I ask you a question, Lieutenant?"

Megan nodded to the former Borg.

"If someone insists they wish to be left alone to deal with something,
though it is obvious if they are that they will not deal with it, is
it more detrimental to the individual with the problem to ignore their
wishes and try to help them or to permit them to continue to without
intervention?"

The woman was not sure what amazed her more -- Seven managing to get
her question out all in one breath or that she was asking Megan to
comment on something personal.  Their normal conversation -- if it
could be assigned such a familiar term -- typically was of the
professional variety.  "Do this."  "Why hasn't this been done?"  "What
were the results of that scan?"  Never anything personal.

"Uh, actually the person probably won't thank you for interfering, but
in the long run it usually is better to force the issue into the open.
But it always depends on the situation and the individuals."

Megan closely watched her superior continue her work.  'It can't be me
she's talking about.  With working on getting Tom back, I've been
better than I was, and Tem and I are doing fine now.  Okay, so he
seemed a little withdrawn last night when we went to bed, but it was a
long day and the meeting in Torres' quarters was rather lengthy so he
had every reason to just want to sleep last night and nothing else.
I'm sure everything will be better once Tom is back and Tem and I can
concentrate on us again.  I know the only reason he's so gung-ho about
getting Tom back is to please me and make me feel better.  He still
doesn't like him, but once Tom's home we can change that.  I know we
can.'  She narrowed her eyes in thought.  'So if it's not me she's
talking about then whom?'

"It's Harry Kim, isn't it?" Megan concluded.  "You're concerned about
him?"

"He is the Chief of Operations therefore is-"

"Yeah, yeah.  I know all that.  Can we drop the pretence already?"

Seven gave her a sharp look in response.

"You like Kim, even if you're not too sure what to do about it, and he
liked you at one point not so long ago.  You're concerned because he's
depressed and you want to make him feel better.  Right?"

"He is vital to this ship's-"

Megan cut the air with her hands.  "No, no, no.  'Yes' or 'no' to my
question.  Is this a personal, not professional interest?"

"Yes."

"Now we're getting somewhere.  You can't just push him, Seven.  He's
been through a lot.  He'll need time."

"And I should stand by him and be his friend.  Mr. Paris told me as
much."

"Then you should listen to him.  Tom knows a lot about people.  He
sees everything, even if he doesn't look like he does.  Give Kim time.
He'll come out of it eventually."

"*Eventually* is not-" Seven broke of in mid-sentence.  She moved to
another area of the main Astrometrics console to attend to the beep
that had summoned her.

Megan moved closer to her superior, curious.  "What is that?"

Seven tapped a few more controls then cocked an implant at the other
woman.  "Long range sensors are picking up a distress call from a ship
four point seven light years away."

"Gherop?"

Seven frowned at the readings.  "No, it's appears to be from the Alpha
Quadrant."

"Fell through a wormhole or something?"

"I found no evidence of wormholes or any other such phenomena in the
vicinity."

She played the distress call, hoping it would have some explanation.
It did not.

"It has to be from the Alpha Quadrant though," Megan insisted.  "The
computer says the original message is in Irish Gaelic.  The odds of
the same exact language developing in two different quadrants has to
be astronomically improbable."

Though she could have told the redhead precisely the odds -- and they
were impossibly high -- Seven refrained.  "We have to inform the
Bridge."

Immediately, Megan opened her mouth to object.  If they told the
Bridge then they would want to go after them and where would the plan
to go after Tom end up?  But they knew for a fact someone's life was
in danger.  With Tom, they did not have that same certainty.  The SOS
had to take precedence.  "Yes," she nodded, "we have to tell them."

---

"Come."

At her desk, reviewing reports she had been too depressed to read when
they had been filed, Kathryn looked up to see B'Elanna enter.  It was
the first time the two women had seen one another in days and the
Captain had trouble meeting B'Elanna's eyes.  Guilt over her role in
this woman's mate's leaving made the situation awkward.  She did not
know what to say to her, how to apologize for what she had done.

What she did not know was the younger woman was experiencing the same
feelings, only she felt more justified in having them given what she
knew to be true about Tom's reasons for leaving.

"Captain, the engines will be back online within five minutes."

Grey eyes leapt to brown.  'Well, Kathryn,' she thought, 'the moment's
finally come.  Three day's worth of soul searching and self-
recriminations have to end.  You have to give an order.  Chase after
Tom Paris or let him go?'

B'Elanna clearly had the same idea.  "Captain," she began in a very
formal voice, "I wish to request we go to New Rachar.  We have worked
out the safest route there from here.  By using natural obstacles, we
should be able to make our trail difficult for the Gherop to follow if
they are in the area.  There are several suggestions for weapons and
shield modifications and ways of improving engine efficiency and
output during any confrontations should the Gherop somehow find us-"

"Who's 'we?'"

The chief conspirator went perfectly erect.  They had known the
Captain would ask who was in on this cabal and they were willing to
risk reprisals, they felt so strongly about this.  "Myself, Tuvok,
Megan Delaney, Pablo Baytart, Neelix, Joe Carey, Vorik, and Geron Tem
officially.  Though others have expressed their moral support."  She
moved closer and held out a padd in a slightly trembling hand.  "I
have a list detailing the logic behind this request.  The suggestions
for modifications are there too."

The Captain stood as she took the padd yet stared at her visitor, not
the device.  The lieutenant took this as a bad sign and began
outlining their reasoning herself.  With each word, her speech became
faster and faster as she felt the opportunity to make things right
with Tom slipping through her fingers.  Desperation began to show
itself.

"Lieutenant!" Janeway finally said sharply, her command voice
surfacing for the first time in days.

Though the look in the brown eyes remained, the half-Klingon's
explanation abruptly ceased.

Kathryn, saying nothing, walked passed her and out onto the Bridge,
padd still in hand.

Trailing along behind, B'Elanna barely noticed how everyone glanced in
their direction then their eyes returned to their consoles.

"Mr. Baytart," the Captain began, "set course-"

From beside Tuvok's station, Chakotay interrupted.  "Captain, we're
receiving an SOS from a shuttle four point seven light years from
here.  Astrometrics' sensors say the shuttle's from the Alpha
Quadrant."

"What?"

"Play the distress call again, Harry."

Harry nodded and obliged.

"'I repeat,'" the female voice said in a strongly accent.  "'This is
the shuttle Dublin requesting immediate assistance from any ships in
the area.  Engines are offline and our life support is failing.  My
co- ordinates are...."

"That's the universal translator's version of it," Harry said once the
co-ordinates had been given.  "The originals in something called Irish
Gaelic.  It's a language indigenous to Earth and is spoken on a few
colony worlds with populations predominantly Irish in ancestry."

As the Captain, went to join her First Officer and Security Chief on
the upper level, B'Elanna felt the same worry Megan had felt.
B'Elanna, however, was more desperate than the human and did not
immediately surrender to the necessity of rendering aid to someone in
distress.  When Vorik contacted her to say the engines were ready, the
Captain heard and descended to her command chair, ordering Baytart to
set course for the shuttle.

"Captain-" B'Elanna tried to object.

Janeway would have none of it.  "I will take this under advisement,
Lieutenant," she said of the padd she set on the console between her
and Chakotay's chairs.  "You should be in Engineering in case
something happens."

"But-"

"Later."

Clenching her teeth lest she say something that made matters worse and
the Captain totally disregard her request, B'Elanna stormed out.

---

"You ready to tell me what the exact plan is or am I going to find out
when it happens?"

Tom nodded.  They were well on their way into Gherop space.  Now was
the time to tell her his plans.  "Simply put, I'm going to do to them
what they did to the Rachar."

The ship was silent for long moment.  "What they did to... You're
going to-"

"Trick them into releasing one of those Final Weapons on themselves.
I'll need to take whomever has succeeded T'Do as the Gherop Leader and
let them see first hand what it's like to watch their world explode
and not be able to stop it."

"And you think that will do it?  Killing all those innocents will be
justified?  That the new Gherop Leader will be so shocked that he or
she will feel remorse for what the Gherop have done to the Rachar and
others?  Sunbird, to feel remorse one has to be able to look at things
from the other side of the proverbial coin.  To see how the other
party is suffering because of what you are doing.  To be able to
question your society and its practices and beliefs, and permit
yourself to see they might not necessarily be valid or right.  Most
societies have a lot of trouble doing that.  With the advent of travel
to other planets and star systems, and visitors to their own world
from those planets and star systems, comes a growing desperation to
retain their own cultural identity.  Typically, they cling to their
social and religious beliefs and conventions far more zealously than
they normally would have had they not felt their identities as a
people threatened by the arrival of outsiders and new ideas.  Those
people look to their leadership for the protection of their unity as a
group, and the leaders routinely become more rigid about everyone's
adherence to them and those beliefs."

"So once the Leader sees the devastation the Final Weapon leaves and
sees his or her own people dead-"

"He or she will seek revenge on whoever's responsible, not see the
death and destruction and suddenly think 'Gee, this is what we've been
doing to others?  Guess we should stop.  This can't be a good thing.'
Sunbird, you're letting your desire for revenge get away from you.
Yes, what they did to the Rachar was wrong from the Rachar and most
other species' points of view.  But not from the Gherop's point of
view.  They think what they've done is a totally rational and
acceptable thing.  If the rebels on Rachar succeeded in ousting them
from power then other slaves would hear of it despite the best efforts
of the Gherop to contain the information.  They would have chaos on
their hands.  They couldn't permit the Verta to succeed so they
destroyed them.  Unfortunately, the entire planet went with them."

"I can't believe you're on their side."

"I'm on no one's side but yours, Sunbird.  You know that.  But you
also know that I'm right in what I'm saying.  You may be able to
change the Leader's attitudes by doing this, but that won't change the
people's minds.  They'll see it as too abrupt an about face, no matter
what has happened to provoke it.  No matter what the Leader says, what
you have planned will only unite the remaining Gherop further as they
demand revenge and they'll come after us for it.  Or even worse, they
go after someone else, someone who isn't even involved, but they think
it has to be them because they don't know about us.  Do you really
want to drag someone else into this?"

He did not want to hear any of what she was saying.  As she had
accurately pronounced, his desire for revenge on behalf of the Rachar
was overwhelming his objectivity.  He wanted them to pay so badly he
was forgetting all other considerations -- like innocent bystanders
who might suffer because of what he had done.

"They have to pay," he insisted stubbornly.  "No matter if they
thought what they did was right for them, they have to pay."

Sunfire restrained a sigh and abandoned the fight for the moment.  "So
you're expecting to find a huge, blinking sign somewhere with an arrow
saying Gherop Homeworld this way?"

"No, but it is logical that, if the other planets under Gherop control
are like Rachar was, their goods and treasures are shuttled back to
the Gherop Homeworld.  Going by what my console is telling me, in
about twenty minutes we'll be crossing a major transportation
corridor."

"The large concentration of warp trails," she sighed, finally clueing
into his plan.  "Naturally, if there's a lot of traffic, it has to be
going somewhere."

"Precisely.  We just follow their trails and they should lead to a
port of some configuration."

"And when we get there, we can just tap into their databanks and find
out where their Homeworld is.  Alidak."  She laughed and would have
shaken her head had she had one.  "How could I have forgotten the
menace of the Tal Shiar and his finding that Section 31 base The
Protectors lost track of in the Federation-Romulan Neutral Zone before
we could get to it.  That one should have been an AlphaOmegan.  I
can't figure out how he could have been rejected in the Selection
Process. He would have been an asset if they had made him one of us
anyway. Only they were resentful that he was able to do something
faster than we could.  They were scared of what else he might uncover
given time. So they took care of him, but good."  Her voice softened
to a whisper.  "Such a horrible Mission that was.  Even if The
Protectors did get what they wanted out of it, there had to have been
a better way to get it, one that didn't entail so many losing their
lives."

Her words brought the memory of it back to Tom.  Until she had said
them, he *had* forgotten that Mission -- or rather the memories had
yet to surface from the murky area that still existed in his brain.
Now they emerged in a terrifying rush.

"Sunbird?"

Even as she called his name, she knew he was not going to answer.  She
had seen this reaction enough times now for her to know summoning him
out of this would not necessarily be the best thing to do.  Instead,
Sunfire caused the Helm at which he sat to "melt" into the floor,
slowly followed by his chair.  Soon as he was on the floor, he curled
up, shaking uncontrollably as the images washed over him.

"The reports of their strength were not exaggerated," Sunfire
whispered, her huge weapon slack in her hands as she stared at the
death and devastation around them.

"They have immense power that's for sure," a similarly armed and
affected Souris agreed from a couple of metres away.  "The last one's
over here when you're finished with those two, Yana."

"Give me a minute," the Orion responded, from her place kneeling in
the rubble beside the two Romulan corpses.  She did not look up to see
to where her colleague was pointing.  She would be joining her soon
enough.  "This is rather delicate.  It does take some time."

There was the crunch of boots over what remained of the secret
installation and the three AlphaOmegans automatically turned their
weapons on the newcomer in defence.  Then lowered them as Sunbird was
recognized and approached.

"The Vanguard's new weapons do work, to a degree," he said by way of a
conversation opener, "but none of the corpses Bartoq and I found were
salvageable.  The weapons breached their shielding, but Bartoq has
concluded the setting is too high.  Every last body was almost
completely disintegrated and what was left, the circuitry was fused
and they're no longer of any use to anyone.  But, Gaylorne reported
some specimens appear to have been caught in the trap so that should
make the technicians happy."

"Too powerful is just fine with me," Sunfire assured him, her relief
quite evident.  "I for one am glad that little bit of target practice
for Bartoq from orbit was successful.  I'd have hated to have to come
down here and pick them off face to face.  What about these?"  She
wiggled her weapon filled with concentrated plasma coolant.  "They too
powerful too?  If the technicians'  'specimens' can't behave
themselves and stay contained for the entire trip, will these be
overpowering enough to stop them in their tracks?"

"Yes.  They'll stop them and anything else organic.  You've seen what
it does to tissue.  It appears their cybernetic augmentation won't
keep them alive once the organic part of them is gone.  Just remember,
nothing will save you either if you fire that thing and any of it gets
on you so make sure you're running in the opposite direction when you
decide to fire it."

"Don't worry, I will."  Looking at her weapon, her lips twisted.  "And
I might just sleep with this baby, too.  I don't want to wake up and
find those things loose and trying to do what they do best while we're
on route to their new 'home.'  Or worse, calling their compatriots to
come back and help free them.  We had a narrow miss here.  If they had
taken a slightly different path..."

"We still would have intercepted them, lured them through the
Federation and Romulan Neutral Zone, and on their way again as
planned," Sunbird said with absolute certainty.  "The Protectors were
prepared for every contingency.  If things had deviated from the
original plan, there were backups.  There always are."

She nodded.

"Yana, how soon until you're finished?  Dumar's detected two ships on
long range sensors.  One Romulan, the Kaleh, and one Federation, the
Enterprise.  Our people aboard both are doing their best to see
neither ship comes this way to stumble across us nor any evidence of
what really happened here.  Still, I would prefer we remove ourselves
from the area as soon as possible."

He did not have to explain why.  They all knew quite well The
Protectors did not want anyone in the Alpha or Beta Quadrants knowing
what happened here.  The Vanguard's sensors were far superior to any
long range sensors either the Romulans or Federation possessed.  If
Dumar had *just* detected the two ships, it would be at least an hour
before either the Kaleh and Enterprise were in range of the moon to
scan it.  By then the surface would have to be vaporized down to the
bedrock, eliminating all traces of the Tal Shiar base that was in
strict violation of the treaty between the Romulans and Federation.
Finding a secret base well within the Neutral Zone would trigger an
intergalactic incident that The Protectors certainly did not want.
But more importantly, if either ship discovered what else was on this
moon, specifically themselves or what was in the trap, there would be
too many questions The Protectors did not want asked yet.  Or ever.

"One more and I'll be done," Yana answered.  She neatly packed into
the sample cases the heads she had just removed from their respective
owners then called to T'Kara on the Vanguard to beam them up.  They
vanished and a third case appeared in their place.  The Orion scooped
it up and all of them made their way over to the third corpse.  "The
modifications to the Implants appear to be a success, but we won't
know for sure until we scan them more thoroughly and try to download
their information."

"You and Wer and Wat can worry about that after we have the specimens
and have left this space."

"I wonder what the specimens thought when they tried to make everyone
here their mindless drones but their victims just dropped dead
instead?

"And they couldn't beam anyone, alive or dead, up," Souris added in a
voice filled with detached curiosity.  "Do you think they became
suspicious?  Every one of the people on this moon that they tried to
take dropped dead the instant they attempted to start the
transformation?  Were the technicians right?  Did the dampening field
the Bulwark's crew set up here really fool their scanning devices into
thinking everyone's 'bad reaction' was because of the field?  Did they
ever have the chance to puzzle out what really was going on before
they were lured back out of the Neutral Zone and back to the Delta
Quadrant where they belong?"

"I'm more concerned with wondering what was going through *her* mind,"
Sunfire murmured.  She gestured with her weapon towards the body of
the Romulan female in the Tal Shiar uniform then to the other corpses
all around them.  "All of their minds.  Looking forward to finally
going home after a six-month posting out here, in the middle of
nowhere, monitoring the Federation outposts.  Then to lose contact
with the shuttle that supposedly was bringing their replacements.
Only moments later, to see a species they've never encountered before
suddenly appearing amongst them, looking like they do, and attacking
them, literally single-mindedly and without provocation.  Sticking
those tubes into them."  She unconsciously shivered.  "To find that as
the last thing you felt, see their horrible faces as the last thing
you see then just drop dead, just like that.  What did they think?"

"None of them thought anything, Sunfire," Sunbird said in a gentle
voice.  "Like you said, as soon as they came into physical contact
with their attackers their Implants would have killed them.  It's
quick and painless.  They wouldn't have felt a thing."

"But only five of them were actual AlphaOmegans.  Why did The
Protectors go to all the trouble of giving all these civilians
Implants when they could have just arranged for the civilians not to
be here? They could have had the AlphaOmegans on the shuttle be the
ones the 'specimens' found as they came through.  Then the dampening
field excuse would have been so much more plausible when they tried to
figure out why they couldn't take anyone and they died instead."

"The entire purpose of the dampening field was to cover up the
existence of the trap, Sunfire," their leader corrected her.  "And to
keep them from beaming up any of our people to figure out why they
died or beam themselves back up to their ship or contact it once they
were down here.  If they were able to take any of our people up for
study, they would have discovered the secret of the Implants and they
don't need to know that yet.  As for creating the trap on a ship, it
would not have worked.  Too easy for them to adapt and escape.  Here,
there's only one way out of that trap and we control it.  They aren't
getting out until we let them out.  That was why the control group had
to be on the shuttle.  Both groups could not be here.  When we can
shut down the dampening field, we'll be able to download the
information from the base's sensors and you'll see why it was so much
simpler to do it this way."

She inclined her head in agreement.  It was one thing for his Team to
*question* The Protectors' orders, but *challenging* those orders was
something completely different.  If Sunbird said something was so, it
was so.  The Team's loyalty to him was absolute.

All of the Team that was except its newest member, Raven.

"Raven to Recovery Team One," Raven's voice came over their subdermal
communicators.  "Sunbird?"

"Go ahead," Sunbird answered.

"The Team from the Bulwark are in place and we're ready to open the
trap.  Are we going to do this any time soon, oh fearless leader?"

The eyes of Souris, Sunfire, and Yana met.  They knew full well that
if Raven had wanted to talk only to Sunbird, he would have started out
by calling to him, not their group first then him.  He wanted them all
to hear what he was saying to Sunbird.  He wanted everyone to get the
message.  Not what he actually said, but the message behind it
certainly.

Over the passed few Missions, everyone had noticed how Raven was
becoming increasingly antagonistic towards Sunbird.  At first it had
been only criticisms and snide remarks behind their leader's back, but
recently Raven had become braver and was saying them to his face.
Soon, everyone knew, there would be a confrontation between the two.
Sunbird merely was permitting Raven enough rope with which to hang
himself.

"Everyone is *not* in place as we are still here, Raven, and the rest
of the Vanguard Team is still aboard her.  Once we are finished here,
everyone will be in place.  It is not like the specimens are going
anywhere."

"But the longer we delay moving them into the stasis units, the
greater the chance they will somehow adapt to overcome the dampening
field."

"We have time.  Sunbird out."  He looked his other subordinates firmly
in the eye.  "Well?"

"I'm almost done here," Yana answered, making the last incision.  The
Romulan's head, carefully severed from the rest of her, went into the
last case.  "I don't know how much they'll be able to download from
this one's Implant.  There's a lot of damage."

"That's the technicians' problem, not ours.  Sunbird to Vanguard,
we're done here."

Later on, Raven would claim had Sunbird come when he had called him,
things would have been different.  He even went so far as to suggest
as much to the Alphas when the Team was debriefed at the Base where
they took the "specimens" for study.  Alpha Two investigated the
entire situation and sided with Sunbird.  Not because the young human
was his protégé, but because Sunbird was correct in his evaluation of
the situation, as usual.

But that came later.  After the near disaster.

---

Once the last head was sent to Sickbay, the four of them were beamed
to the trap's location -- a space outside of what had been the Tal
Shiar base's well hidden emergency exit.  Though Sunbird was in
command of this Mission, another AlphaOmegan ship -- the Bulwark --
actually had done the bulk of the work since the Vanguard and
Sunbird's Team had been held up on their previous Mission.  Therefore,
when it came time to beam down to the surface and remove whatever was
in the trap, Sunbird permitted the Bulwark crew to continue on as the
point crew. The Vanguard's crew became the backup.  This did not sit
well with Raven, naturally, and when Recovery Team One arrived his
displeasure was evident.

The crew from the Bulwark had the area well secured.  Three of them
were standing in a widely spaced triangle formation, all facing each
other, with their weapons trained on the patch of ground in the centre
of their triangle.  The other seven plus Gaylorne, Pardan, and the
very impatient looking Raven were backing them up.

A moment after, Sunbird and Recovery Team One joined them, Bartoq,
Dumar, Wer, and Wat themselves beamed in with a dozen very large
stasis units.  The Bolians double-checked everything was in working
order with the units, nodded and waited for Sunbird's instructions
like everyone else.  The wait was not long.

Sunbird gestured to everyone to take up their weapons and pre-assigned
positions.  The three in the triangle repositioned their grips on
their weapons.  The remaining members of the two Teams fanned out,
weapons up to their shoulders and aiming at the same spot as the
initial three were -- straight at the invisible trap.

Because of what their prey had been, the lower tech the trap, the
better.  What they had done was carve out of the rock of the planet a
ten metre deep by four metre diameter hole with smoothed sides.
Looking at it, anyone not in the know would have thought it to be an
old cistern from the days before replicators could supply all the
liquids a creature needed to survive.  Thanks to the lack of handholds
in the sides, anyone falling into this hole would be very simply and
effectively trapped until someone came to get them out.

But just digging a hole and hoping one or two of their prey might fall
in was not enough and a trick had to be added to the simplicity.
Holographic camouflage covered it and the dampening field prevented
their scanners from seeing it until it was too late and they were
inside.  However, those same high tech additions to the hole also kept
the Team from seeing inside.  They knew precisely where the hole was
because of seemingly meaningless marks they had made in the surface
rock of the area.  Scuff marks surrounding the hole opening were the
only way they knew for certain anything actually had fallen in.  When
the dampening field and camouflage were lowered only then would they
know how many "specimens" they had for the technicians.

"Sunbird, to Bulwark and Vanguard."

T'Kara on the Vanguard and the pilot of the Bulwark both acknowledged
his call.

"Now."

All Hell broke lose.

While T'Kara had the Vanguard's weapons target on the hole and ready
to fire should there be trouble those on the ground could not handle,
the Bulwark's pilot triggered the field and camouflage to vanish.  The
technicians who had designed the high tech end of this plan had told
them they would have twenty seconds from the time the field went down
to the moment the effects wore off and their prey was mobile again.
They were wrong.  Two seconds after the cover over the hole vanished
and the dampening field with it, two long, dark grey tubes snaked out
of the hole and straight in the direction of one of the three nearest
to the hole.  It all happened so fast, none of the others could get
off a shot before they pierced his uniform and skin and he dropped
dead as his Implant reacted to the nanoprobes being introduced into
his system and killed him.

No one present had ever seen their "specimens" in action.  They had
seen the simulations of course, but this was the first time anyone
from the Alpha or Beta Quadrants had ever seen the real thing and it
momentarily stunned them.  That was all the time those in the trap
needed.  Within seconds they had formed a pyramid and the AlphaOmegans
saw live Borg face to face for the first time as they climbed out of
the trap.

The AlphaOmegans' training finally kicked in the instant one of the
Borg started to attack a second victim.  Weapons were fired.
Surrounded as they were, the Borg did not stand a chance.  They fell
in quick succession, their organic halves immobilized by the weapons
the technicians had designed for just that purpose and Bartoq had
modified to tone down so they had some live Borg to take back with
them.  When the shooting was over, five full Borg lay unconscious on
the rocky ground outside of the hole and two more still inside the
hole, never having had the chance to climb out before they were
stopped.  Four of the Bulwark's crew lay dead on the ground, one with
her attacker's tubes still stuck in her neck.

"Sunbird to Vanguard and Bulwark, start beaming them into the stasis
units."

As the drones began materializing inside the units, the still shaken
AlphaOmegans all began to move to guard them.  One by one, each unit
received an occupant and the unit's cover closed.  An anaesthetic gas
was released to keep the organic part asleep while the gravity inside
the unit was switched off and forcefields fell into place between the
occupant's cybernetic half and the unit's interior.  Every precaution
was being taken so the Borg could not make contact with the unit and
override the controls to free itself.

"Sunbird, it's Alidak," Gaylorne called to Sunbird as the last of the
drones was being settled inside its temporary home.

In three long strides he was over to where the R'taian stood and
studied the drone at which she was pointing with her weapon.  "He was
in the control group on the shuttle, wasn't he?  They assimilated him
that fast?"

"Apparently."

Both shook their heads.

"These Borg could be more of a problem than the technicians predict."

"What about our people?" Raven harshly demanded.  "They need
attention."

All four of the violated AlphaOmegans were transferred to stasis
units, the one still attached to her Borg attacker sharing the same
unit with him.  Though they all were dead, their colleagues had to
treat them the same as the still living Borg, just in case.  Plus, the
technicians would be quite happy to have something else to study.

"They are dead, Raven," Sunbird informed him.  "There is nothing that
can be done for them."

"So we just take them to Base and turn them over to the doctors who'll
what?  Study them just like they are going to study these
monstrosities."

"In the hopes of unlocking the Borg's secrets and neutralizing them as
a threat to the Alpha and Beta Quadrants, yes."

"Vulcan scientists started working on 'unlocking the Borg's secrets'
way back in 2063.  After the AlphaOmegans were created and assumed
control of the Vulcans' research, our scientists have been working on
it.  Total, that's over three hundred years of research.  How much
longer can it take?  They figured out their technology enough to
create these Implants to put in our heads to control us and record
everything we see and do.  If they haven't figured out how to
neutralize the Borg's threat -- and some way better than giving the
entire population of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants Implants and having
them killed when the Borg try to assimilate them -- they never will."

"Now they will have live specimens on which to experiment.  They will
make greater progress with them to study."

"And our people too, huh?  Fresh subjects for them to study too, huh?
We should never have been down here.  We should have stayed on the
Vanguard and Bulwark, opened the trap from there and transferred them
to the stasis units from there.  None of us needed to risk our lives.
Or lose them.  To the Seven Hells with the fact it logistically could
not be done that way.  We should have found a way."

"You know precisely why we could not have done that."

Raven glared ferociously at him.  "Then you should have given the
Vanguard and the Bulwark the order to fire the instant we saw them
coming out of that hole."

Sunbird never changed his posture or the tone of his voice, but the
look in his eyes showed Raven he was very close to crossing the line.
"Are you questioning my authority in this matter?"

"Yes, I am.  Four of our people are down.  If you had acted when you
should have, they wouldn't be.  You should have either told T'Kara to
fire the Vanguard's weapons or told everyone to evacuate and let those
with the plasma coolant weapons fire."

Everyone present, even those from the Bulwark who normally did not
interact with the Vanguard crew, knew this was not about the Bulwark's
four dead.  Raven could not care less about them or anyone other than
himself.  That was well-known.  He was latching on to this horrible
event as a way to undermine Sunbird for his own ends.  Fortunately,
the man whose position he coveted knew it too.

"One, the purpose of this Mission was to capture *live* Borg, not the
component parts.  Plasma coolant liquefies organic tissue.  Their
organic halves would be destroyed and their mechanic halves would not
survive long therefore they would no longer be *live* Borg.  And, two,
if you would like to take issue with the method in which this Mission
was undertaken or with my leadership, I suggest you discuss it with
the Alphas when we get to Base.  Until then, you still are under my
command.  Remember that."

"The Alphas *will* hear of this," he vowed, stomping away.

"I'm sure they will.  Sunbird to Bulwark.  Commence beam up."

The stasis units and their cargo dematerialized.  In space, out of the
sight of those on the moon, they reappeared and were caught in a
tractor beam.  There they would stay, safely well away from the two
ships, yet hidden by their cloaking devices, until they reached base
and were deposited where the technicians were certain they could keep
them controlled.  Moments later, what was left of the Bulwark crew
went to their ship and the Vanguard crew were on the Bridge of their
own.

"Everything is a go," T'Kara, the Vulcan pilot, responded.

"Good.  Bartoq, you're on."

As the two cloaked ships broke orbit, the charges Bartoq and the
others had planted all over the moon vaporized the surface down to the
bedrock.  There no longer was any indication a base had ever been
there.  The ships flew off and the first of what was to be many
encounters with the Borg was over.


That memory ended, but other later meetings with the Borg, either the
"specimens" or "wild Borg" as the Team had called the ones on the
loose, soon assaulted him.  Memories of two years later, the next time
the Borg entered Alpha Quadrant space, this time of their own accord,
and of the massacre at Wolf 359.  Captain Jean-Luc Picard being taken
and transformed into one of those monsters and over eleven thousand
unsuspecting civilians being killed or assimilated, all when the Borg
could have been stopped.  But all those lives had been forfeited and
one of the best captains since Kirk had nearly been lost all because
The Protectors needed a diversion and what the Borg were doing fit
right in with their plans.  Overly ambitious plans, Tom now judged,
though at the time he had been so much under The Protectors' control.
To try to take over a Borg cube sounded perfectly reasonable back
then.  Alpha Two deemed it was necessary and so it was, as far as
AlphaOmegan 41783 was concerned.

*And so many of your people didn't make it back from that Mission
either,* Camet crowed.

Tom had expected the long dead Cardassian to make an appearance now
that he was remembering more of his past and here he was.

*Because you did not object to your precious Protector's plans,
innocent civilians died by the thousands or were condemned to a life
that is no life with the Borg.  And,* he stressed, *people under your
command, people you were supposed to protect, died.  But that's a
running theme with you, isn't it?  Part of the Bulwark's crew died.
All of your Team is dead now, except for Raven, who never was much of
a Team player anyway, and Sunfire, who more or less is dead, but
you're determined to finish the job by dragging her off on this quest
for vengeance of yours.*

'The Rachar don't deserve to have died in vain.  Someone has to teach
the Gherop they can't go around doing what they did to the Rachar to
anyone ever again.'

*And that someone has to be you.  Admit it, all this is just an excuse
to go out and kill people.  The Protectors programmed you to be a
soldier, an assassin, but during your cushy life on Voyager there
wasn't much call for blowing up buildings or slitting throats.  You
really left not because of that Klingon bitch you had taken to your
bed took another to hers, but because they were stifling you.  Same
with that happy little planet where you left that little whelp you
were using to replace the kid you never had.  It was all too perfect,
all too peaceful.  Your blood lust was frustrated.  You needed to get
off of that ship, needed to find a battle and spill some blood.
That's the real reason you're trying to find the Gherop Homeworld and
destroy it and everyone on it.  No matter how much you bemoan your
blackened soul, you want more blood on your hands.*

'No!'

*You enjoy the killing.  Thomas Eugene Paris.  Scion of the privileged
Paris clan.  Unloved little boy who desperately wanted his father's
attention but could never be good enough to get it.  So he does the
opposite instead.  Can't get attention by being good?  He'll strike
back at Father by being as bad as possible.  So much for the
upstanding Starfleet Officer.  He is nothing more than a common
killer.*

'I....'

*You can't even deny it!* Camet laughed.

He could not deny the truth and, for the most part, what was being
said was the truth.  He had felt ill-at-ease on Voyager, mostly
because of the way the others were treating him, but also because he
was frustrated with the way things were done.  So many times of late,
he had found himself thinking he could have handled such and such
better than Janeway.  She had taken too long to do something, to come
to some conclusion when he could have done it better and faster and
with more success.  He had put it down to his having been a leader for
so many years -- more than Janeway had been -- that finding himself
the one taking orders was chafing.  He so much wanted to do things the
way he had been programmed to do them, the AlphaOmegan way.  Was Camet
correct?  Was he doing this because he was an old soldier who suddenly
had found himself without a war to fight, without an outlet for the
"bad" side The Protectors had cultivated?  Was his not listening to
Sunfire as she tried to speak reason to him not because he thought she
*was* misjudging the situation, but because he *wanted* her to be
misjudging the situation?

He weighed the questions, trying to stay objective.  Finally he came
to a decision.  The Rachar deserved better than blood shed in their
name. All they had wanted was freedom and peace.  Sunfire had been
right about needing to change the Leader's attitudes without such a
grand gesture as the death and destruction of his or her people and
Homeworld, that it would only unite the remaining Gherop further as
they sought revenge against whomever had made their Leader destroy
their Homeworld.  Something else had to be done.

*But you will not enjoy it nearly so much.  You want blood.  You will
not be satisfied with anything less.*

"Then that's my problem, Camet!"

"Sunbird?" Sunfire called to him, confused.  They were alone.  She
searched her databanks and found forty-seven references to the word
"camet" in seventeen languages.  Only one had any direct connection to
Tom Paris alias AlphaOmegan 41783.  Camet had been the name of the
Cardassian who had captured Janeway and Admiral Owen Paris and
tortured the latter only to later be tortured and killed by Tom Paris.
And according to Tuvok, Sunbird now claimed he heard Camet's voice in
his head, chastising him for past misdeeds.  For the first time, she
began to wonder about the mental stability of the man she loved.

*Don't do this, Thomas Paris,* a new voice urged.

"Zjna?" he whispered.

*Yes,* the late Rachar Queen confirmed.  *Though I only knew you for a
short time, Thomas Paris, I know this is not what you truly want.  Nor
is it what my people want.  To destroy so many people, to do what they
did to us, it would only take you down to their level and dishonour
us.  You are not like the Gherop.  Don't let thoughts of revenge make
you become like them.*

'But, Zjna-'

*What you plan to do is not right.*

*But he's going to do it anyway,* Camet insisted.  *He can't do
anything else.  It's in his nature to destroy everything he touches.
He can't help it.*

"No, I can help it."  Shaking his head to clear it, Tom rose.  "Change
of plans, Sunfire."

"Change?"

"We're still going to the Gherop Homeworld.  Only for a different
purpose.  I'll be in Sickbay.  Tell me once we find the nearest Gherop
outpost."

She continued to monitor him carefully as he went about his mysterious
errand below.

-------

---

Standing in the doorway to the Chief Engineer's office, Joe was 
rethinking talking to B'Elanna at that precise moment.

When he had woken and seen the stars streaking passed his window he
had been relieved they finally were at warp.  That meant the engines
were back online once more so he had thoughts of finally sitting down
with her to talk about what Tom had said in his note.  He knew the
plan was for her to approach Janeway about their plan when the engines
were ready to come back online and he had expected she would agree
with their course suggestion.  B'Elanna would be in a good mood now
that they were on their way to New Rachar and would be without the
excuse of Engineering matters to avoid their conversation.  Once he
had her take on things, then he would go to Harry for his version.

Seeing her pacing her office, clearly furious, was not a good sign.
Not wanting to be her punching bag, he was about to take a step back
out when she noticed him.

"She said she'd 'take it under advisement,'" she growled.

Bravely, Joe stepped further into the office, permitting the door to
close.  "You mean Janeway."

"Of course, Janeway.  I went to her, laid out our argument, gave her a
padd with everything on it, and she didn't even read the padd or
listen to the argument.  All that garbage about her hiding out in her
Ready Room after Tom left was all a lie.  She probably was in there
gloating about him being out of her hair."

"You know that's not true.  She cares about him.  Always has.
Everything that's happened to him has hurt her as much as it has you."

B'Elanna snorted.   "If it had, she'd be going after him now, not
chasing down some SOS."

"What?"

"We picked up some distress call and of course Janeway's taking us off
to answer it."

"It's a *distress* call.  That usually means someone's in *distress.*
We can't just ignore it."

"Yeah, but she wasn't going to go after Tom before we picked it up.  I
know she wasn't."  She recounted her version of the confrontation in
the Ready Room then on the Bridge.

"You don't know what she was going to do.  The odds were as good she
was going order Baytart to head for New Rachar as to the Alpha
Quadrant."

"But you didn't see her.  I know she wasn't about to agree with us."

"You *think* you know, but only Janeway knows for sure.  Now once
we've helped whoever needs us, then we can work on Janeway again.  You
know how single-minded she gets when a rescue's in progress."

She looked at him appraisingly.  "Why are you helping me get Tom back
anyway?  You weren't very supportive of Tom after we found out about
what he is."

Joe was silent for a long moment, staring at his hands.  "I think
that's sort of why.  After he left, I saw how you were, how devastated
you were, and I started thinking 'Why is she feeling anything for
Paris?  He's done all these bad things in the past.  He doesn't
deserve to be missed or mourned.'  Then the longer I thought about it,
I finally realized the operative words were 'the past.'  Whatever he
did, however he did it, it was long before we met him.  I'm not saying
I totally trust him anymore.  It would be foolish after everything The
Protectors did to... create him and everything that's happened with
this Implant thing after it met the Commander's akoonah."  He tapped
his forehead.  "We don't know how it's messing him up in here.  We
don't know how he's handling his two lives merging, *if* they are
merging at all.  This... thing they created might just be taking over
his mind again."

"It's not!"

"We don't know that for sure, B'Elanna.  None of us have spent much
time with him since he escaped from The Diogenes.  We don't know how
his personality has changed, if at all."

"It hasn't.  Look at what he did on Rachar.  Trying to be the hero and
helping them fight back against the Gherop.  That's Tom Paris.
Everyone here knows that's him."

"That certainly is the type of thing he does do, yes.  But that's not
to say saving them didn't some how benefit this AlphaOmegan whatever-
his-number-is."

"So what?  You're helping me because you're worried about the kind of
harm the AlphaOmegan Tom might be doing to the rest of the Universe?
Is that it?  You want us to go get him to protect everyone else?"

"In part.  In a very *slight* part, yes.  And for you, because you
want and need him to come back.  But also for me too, I guess.  Not
just the fact he and Sunfire know more about this Gopher Hole than we
do and that might be important, but also because I do miss Tom Paris. 
Whether that is who we'll find though when we get to New Rachar or if
it will be this AlphaOmegan character, I don't know.  I do hope it is
Tom though and if it is, that he can be convinced to set aside his
reasons for leaving and come back."  He took a deep breath. 
"Actually, that was the real reason I came in here.  I wanted to talk
about the note Tom left you."

"I don't want to-"

"I know you don't, but you need to.  I've talked with LaKeysha and
she's agreed to keep what she read a secret."

"LaKeysha?  You're saying Walesan read it too?"

"She was the one who found the padd.  She thought it was one she and
Vorik had been using.  She'd read all of it before she realized it
wasn't.  But you know her.  She doesn't usually gossip and certainly
won't after I asked her not to repeat a word of this.  Now, you going
to talk to me about this or am I going to keep wondering what's going
on?"

B'Elanna slumped into her desk chair and explained about anger
directed at a withdrawn Tom Paris and an inappropriate kiss shared
with Harry Kim.  When she finished, Joe sat in the guest chair,
stunned.

"So you kissed Harry and Tom somehow found out about it months later."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"No."  She told him about her confessing the entire incident to the
Captain who told Chakotay who confronted Harry about it.  Both
superior officers had convinced them not to tell Tom since it only
would hurt him needlessly.

"So much for the 'needlessly' idea," Joe sighed.

"I knew it would upset Tom, but they told us since only the four of us
knew what had happened and it didn't really mean anything, that if we
told Tom it would do more harm than good.  You remember what he was
like back then, all removed from everything.  And there was Tuvok's
mind temporarily living in Tom's body.  We honestly thought he had too
much to deal with at the time to tell him about something that did not
matter."

"But he found out somehow anyway."

"Yes, and I don't know how!"  She surged to her feet and began pacing
again.

"Well, you didn't tell him."

"No."

"That only leaves three people.  Janeway, Chakotay, and Harry.  I
doubt Janeway would.  I can't see her deliberately hurting anyone." 
He ignored her snort of derision.  "That leaves Chakotay and Harry.
Chakotay might."

"But he talked Harry out of telling Tom."

"At Janeway's request?  You know he'd do almost anything for her.
Besides, I don't think he's ever totally liked Tom, especially not
recently.  And from what Seven told me Geron said, when he went to ask
the Commander to lobby for our position, he received a very resounding
no."

B'Elanna had not heard this and did not know what to say.  She had
known Chakotay was mad about everything, but not known how mad.

"And what about Harry?  He's still mad about losing Souris and
everything.  What better way to get back at Tom than to tell him
something he knew would hurt him?"

"Harry's not that cruel."

"Harry's in a universe of pain right now, B'Elanna.  People will do a
lot of things they ordinarily would not do when they are feeling such
emotions."

"But to do this?"

"He has been furious with Tom lately.  I know you've been too wrapped
up in your own problems to really notice, but the rest of us have.
Harry's been doing everything he can to provoke a fight."

"But he went after Tom when we thought he was dead.  Why would he do
that if he didn't want to make peace or something?"

"I don't know," he said, rising from his chair, "but I'm going to ask
him and find out.  Computer, location of Harry Kim?"

"Harry Kim is on the Bridge," the computer supplied.

"He was there when I was," B'Elanna told him.  "He must have Alpha
shift."

Joe sighed.  "All right, I'll have to wait for his lunch break.
Computer, notify me the moment Harry Kim leaves the Bridge.  I'll talk
to him first, B'Elanna, and see what he says."

"I'll try Chakotay.  He was on the Bridge, too, but he's been wanting
me to talk to him so I'm sure if I call him, he'll come see me whether
he's on shift or not."

"You want to confront him here?" he asked dubiously.  "Might be better
elsewhere.  He'll open up easier and you two won't be disturbed."

"I have to see someone first then I'll go to my quarters and have
Chakotay come there.  You'll take Engineering?"

"Of course.  It'll be a while before Harry goes to lunch."

---

"Miss Wildman, you should be with the Doctor for your lessons," Seven
told the little girl who had stepped into Astrometrics.  "It is your
school time."

"The Doctor is too busy right now," Naomi explained.  "Could you show
me something?"

"What is it you wish to see?"

"New Rachar."

The former Borg nodded and called up the visuals of New Rachar with
which Sunfire had furnished Voyager.  Naomi came closer, her eyes
longingly running over every detail of the image projected on the
large screen before the console.

"It's beautiful."

"It is within the realm being of aesthetically pleasing to human
tastes," Seven concurred in her usual detached fashion.

"And Tommy's there."

"That is Lieutenant Paris' most logical destination, yes."

Something in the woman's voice drew Naomi's eyes from the image of the
planet to Seven's face.  "You didn't want him to go either."

"The ship...." She stopped.  In the passed twenty-four hours, the
Doctor and Lieutenant Megan Delaney both had taken issue with her
practical answers to their questions requiring the voicing of personal
opinions on the subject of Ensign Kim.  She sensed the same would be
the case if she commented on Lieutenant Paris and his valuable
contribution to Voyager.  So, instead she examined her feelings on the
subject and spoke them.  "No, I did not want him to go.  I... I find I
miss Mr. Paris' presence."

The girl slipped a hand into Seven's and leaned sideways against her,
eyes once more finding the New Rachar on the screen.  "I didn't want
him to go either, but he wouldn't stay when I asked him to."

Uncertain how to act with this unfamiliar intimacy, Seven did not
move, nor did she remove her hand from Naomi's.  "He apparently felt
he had to go."

"They made him go," was the whispered response.

"He was not 'made' to go, Miss Wildman.  He evaluated the situation
and decided upon this course of action.  However detrimental to
Voyager's collective it was."

"No," Naomi insisted, moving away.  "They made him leave.  And now
Neelix says she claims she's going to go after Tommy.  She doesn't
want him back.  She's just saying she does for some reason, but she
doesn't.  And even if she goes, he won't come back for her because he
knows what they've done."

Completely at a loss to comprehend to what Naomi was referring, Seven
could only watch her go then returned to her work.

---

"Geron?"

The young Bajoran looked up from his work to see B'Elanna Torres at
his side.  "Yes?"

"Joe says he heard you went to Chakotay and asked him to use his
influence with the Captain to get her to agree with our plans."

"Yes, but he refused."

"Did he say why?"

"He said it was the Captain's ship and she decides her course."

"Nothing else?"

"Just that I was very close to mutiny by suggesting he really was in
charge because the Captain was hiding in her Ready Room.  That made
him rather mad."

"I see.  Thanks."  She started to walk away, but his voice called her
back.

"You talked to the Captain about Paris?"

She nodded once.

"She said no, didn't she?"

"Yes.  She says after we've done what we can for this ship in distress
she'll take our request 'under advisement.'"

"But who knows what will have happened to him by then!"

His near panic was unexpected and it caused her doubts about him to
surface.  Because of that, she asked him the same question she had
asked Carey only a few minutes earlier.  "Why are you helping me get
Tom back anyway?  It's not like you've ever liked him."

"I have my reasons."

"Like what?"

He already had considered what his answer to this question would be if
asked.  Tem knew eventually someone would ask him why he was with them
and, though he hated lying, he hated possibly facing an enraged
Klingon even more.  His hope was that, once they found Tom, he would
be able to talk to him first and find out if what Ver said was true
and Paris had left because of what he had been told.  The odds were
that it was, but if it was not, Tem did not want to get into Torres'
bad graces if he did not have to.  He knew the Prophets were not
exactly going to be happy with that idea, but he had his own personal
safety to think of.

"Like Megan's happiness," he stated as his reason for helping the
conspirators.  It was a half-truth, but it was better than a whole
truth.  "She wants him to come home and I want her to be happy."

Temporarily appeased, B'Elanna left.

Geron released a huge sigh of relief then stopped.  What was he so
relieved about?  Paris still was out there, possibly in danger, and
now the Captain had refused the group's request to go after him.  He
had to do something to change the Captain's mind and there was only
one way he could think of doing that.  He had to tell her why Tom
Paris really left and confess his role in it.  Unfortunately, if he
did do that, the truth about what Jenny and Nozawa had seen months ago
would come out, invading Torres and Kim's privacy.  But if he could
get Janeway alone to tell her, surely she could keep a secret.  She
was a Starfleet Captain after all.  She had been entrusted by Command
to keep the secret of Omega particles.  Granted, all Captains knew
about them, but she had not said anything about them until there had
been no other choice but to tell the crew, hadn't she?  He could trust
her with this secret too, he was sure of it.

He consulted the computer as to the Captain's location.  Finding her
on the Bridge and knowing he could not leave his work without a really
good excuse -- telling his superior he was off to see the Captain
would create too many questions -- he waited.  Lunch was coming.  He
would wait until then to see if he could corner her and request a
meeting.

A plan in mind, he refocused on his work.

---


Chakotay stopped in front of B'Elanna's door.  He had hoped eventually 
she would want to talk and clearly Kathryn's refusal of her request 
appeared to have made "eventually" now.  Reaching out, he tapped the 
announcer and quickly received the permission to enter.

Seated on the couch, facing him, B'Elanna did not look as he had
thought she would.  When the text message from her had appeared on his
console moments earlier, he had thought he would find her frantic or
distraught.  Instead, he found a very serious, almost calm woman. 
This was his first clue that something was not quite right.

"Chakotay.  Take a seat."

"Thanks."  He sat a cushion away from her own on the couch.  "You seem
better."

"Do I?"

"As opposed to yesterday morning in the Mess Hall, yes."

"Ah, yes.  Yesterday morning when you sicced the Doctor on me to make
me leave Engineering for a while."

"You were-"

"Tired, yes, I remember you saying that.  I also remember you saying
we had to talk about what happened."  She leaned back into her corner
of the couch and crossed her arms before her.  Her brown eyes were
hard.  "So tell me, Chakotay.  You used the word 'we.'  '*We* have to
talk about what's happened,' not '*You* have to talk about what has
happened.'  So what do *you* want to tell me about all this?  Maybe
about your being the one who told Tom about Harry and I kissing once,
months ago?  Did you honestly think it would make him leave or was
that just an added bonus?"

"What?"

She could not keep up the pretence of calm any longer.  She exploded
up off of the couch and glared at him, fists clenched at her sides. 
"Oh, come on, Chakotay.  There were only four people who knew about
what Harry and I did and I did not tell Tom.  That leaves only you,
Harry, and the Captain.  Unless Janeway told him when they were
escaping from the Gherop prison -- which would be a really strange
time to do it -- she couldn't have told him.  After he came back to
Voyager, he was in that meeting with you and her and the two Rachar
then the Doctor took him to Sickbay and he was unconscious until he
left.  I asked the Doctor just before you came here if she ever went
to Sickbay while Tom was there and he said no, she contacted him about
Tom, but could not get away from the Bridge to come see him."

"B'Elanna-"

"Harry was mad enough to tell him," she continued.  "He was off duty
at the time Tom was waking up and I did find him in one of the
corridors, but as upset as he was about what had happened on Rachar
with the Gherop, I don't think he wanted to see Tom right then.  And
both of us had put Dartin VIII out of our minds.  I doubt it would
have occurred to him to throw it up in Tom's face, even if he had been
in less stunned frame of mind."  The glare became even more pointed. 
"So that leaves only one person left.  You."

"Look, if Paris knows anything, it's not because I told him.  And what
makes you think he knows anything anyway?"

She stomped over to the desk, took out a padd, and returned to the
couch to thrust it at him.  "Tom brought this to Engineering before he
went to see the Captain, only I was too distracted to even notice
him."  Her voice cracked.  "There was so much chaos there at the time
and I was so tired I could only focus on one thing and that was fixing
the problems.  I never even knew he'd been there until after he'd gone
and Joe Carey brought me that."

Chakotay finished reading Tom's note and shook his head.  "I don't
know what he knows or how he knows it, but I didn't tell him anything.
Before the day he left, it had been days since I had said anything to
him or was alone with him."

"You expect me to believe that?" she demanded, snatching the padd back
and holding it protectively to her chest.  "You've never liked Tom.
Even back in the Maquis, you hated him."

"With good reason.  You know that."

"That may be, but he's grown up a lot since he's been on Voyager, only
you've never seen that."

"I've seen it," he admitted with anger, "but do you honestly think
that matters anymore?  Look at what we now know about him."

"I am tired of hearing about 'what we now know about Tom!'  It wasn't
his fault so stop blaming him!  They made him do it.  He had no say in
it.  He should not be penalized for things that aren't his fault."

"And what about the things that are?  What about the Cardassians he
killed?  The ones who captured the Captain and Paris' father and
tortured the Admiral?  What about what he did to them?  That was his
doing.  You're saying he shouldn't be blamed for that?"

"I never thought I would hear you mourning the deaths of a few
Cardassian soldiers."

"Killing them in battle's one thing.  Torturing them the way he did is
another."

"He was insane at the time, he admits that.  Wouldn't you have been
under the same circumstances?"

It was a logical assumption, only Chakotay was in no mood for logic
where the subject of Tom Paris was concerned.  He continued to
zealously hang onto his anger.  "Whatever his reasons, he did do it.
We can't forget that."

"Or is it *you* can't forget it?"  She cut him off before he could
respond to the charge.  "I love him, Chakotay, and I plan to find him
and talk sense into that thick skull of his whether you like it or
not.  If you don't, then... then you might as well leave and not speak
to me again except on official matters because he is my mate and I
won't have you talking about him this way any longer."

"B'Elanna, see sense about this."

"I have seen sense!  Finally!  After the truth came out I was stupid
and confused and all... off kilter thanks to that pet'q Raven and his
hormones.  Then I came to my senses.  This is Tom we're talking about.
I love him.  I know him.  Whatever he did in the past doesn't matter."

Chakotay attempted to object but she would not let him.

"Whether what he did was his idea or not!  I am going to find him and
talk to him and get him back.  Now are you going to tell me exactly
what you said to him or what?"

Chakotay stood to face her.  "For the last time, I did not tell Paris
any of this.  I told you and Kim I'd keep this between the four of us
and that's what I've done.  And furthermore, you're making a huge
mistake thinking Paris is worth your love and... and trust.  Look at
everything he's done.  Look at everyone he's hurt.  Even if he's not
criminally responsible for it all, even if he was brainwashed into
doing it or was incompetent due to reason of insanity when he
committed some of his crimes, he did commit them.  He does carry
around the memories of them, the training he was given to be able to
commit them. If even half of what he and Sunfire claim was done to him
actually is true, there's a very real danger he's mentally unhinged or
getting there.  The potential for him to turn violent -- whether or
not he wants to or means to-" he hastened to add, "is a very real
possibility.  I for one don't want anyone I love or care about
anywhere near him when he finally loses it."

"Just like Joe," she grumbled under her breath.

Chakotay caught the words, though not the meaning.  Carey certainly
was not experiencing any psychotic moments as far as he knew so she
could not mean he had lost his mind and was out of control.

"If Tom is of precarious mental stability," she continued, "then it's
up to us to help him.  We're his family."

"B'Elanna, we're not trained counsellors.  That's what he'd need. 
That and massive doses of antipsychotics probably," he argued, not
mentioning his plans for designing the ECH programme.

"But the Alpha Quadrant has plenty of both psychiatrists and drugs and
that's where we're going.  Without him," she stressed.  "You'd rather
leave him to the mercy of the Rachar, who have enough problems trying
to re-establish their species on another homeworld?  We don't even
know if they know anything about psychiatry or about Tom's past.  They
won't be able to treat him like we will in the Alpha Quadrant."  She
gave him another assessing look.  "Or are you thinking to just let him
be their problem?  Leaving him in the Delta Quadrant would mean we and
the Alpha Quadrant wouldn't have to worry about him?  Is that it? 
Well, if you're right and he's losing his sanity, then the Rachar will
be in danger as will everyone else in this Quadrant.  The Alpha
Quadrant created him.  We are morally and ethically responsible to
take care of the problems we create.  We can't just unleash a
potential destructive force on an unsuspecting quadrant and not warn
anyone.  If Tom doesn't want to come back to us, at least the Rachar
have to be told about him and warned of what he might be capable of
doing.  You cannot argue with that."

"Sunfire is with him.  She'll look after him and do whatever needs to
be done."

"A ship?  I don't care if she is sentient, she's not his family."

"She's known him longer than we have."

"She's known AlphaOmegan 41783, not Tom Paris."

"B'Elanna, I'm not going to argue this point with you any longer since
you're obviously in no frame of mind to see sense.  Paris is gone.
However finding out you and Harry kissed each other came into play in
that decision, I don't know nor do I care.  He gone and that's what's
best for us.  We are not going after him."

She was so mad she could not form a single word to express it.

"B'Elanna," he said in a soothing voice, "I know you don't agree with
me right now, but sometime in the future you will calm down and see
I'm right about this."  He headed for the door yet turned back a
moment later.  "And if you still are entertaining ideas of going off
after him, don't.  You'll only get yourself captured by the Gherop or
something worse."

As he walked out the door and proceeded down the corridor with the
intent to find Carey and see what her 'Just like Joe' comment meant,
he heard breakables impacting on the walls of the Chief Engineer's
quarters.

---

"The planet is Mot-Ri.  Also known as Mining Station 718.  Quite the
vacation spot, isn't it?"

Taking the seat at the Helm, Tom glanced up from the readings from the
planet to see reflected on the main viewer what Sunfire had recalled
him to the Bridge to see -- a Jupiter-sized world.  "Hmm. 
Inhospitable surface.  Unstable landmasses.  It's no wonder they're
using slave labour to work the strip mines.  No one would willingly
work under these conditions."

"I'm tapped into their computer system.  How much information do you
want?"

"Everything."

"That will take a few minutes."

"Fine."  He watched the station's information amass in the ship's
databanks.

"Sunbird?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk?"

"Always."

"Okay."  She paused.  "You're... You're still hearing voices, aren't
you?"

He closed his eyes.  "How'd you know about -- You were tapped into
Voyager and The Diogenes'.  You heard everything that went on," he
said, answering his own question.

"Yes.  I heard you telling the Captain, Commander, and the Doctor
about the voices of..."

"You can say it.  The voices of my dead?  My victims?  Yes, I still
hear them sometimes.  Gul Camet mostly.  Actually," he smiled at the
irony, "you have him to thank for changing my mind about destroying
the Gherop Homeworld.  Not that it was what he had in mind.  He just
wanted to torture me some more."

"You talk like they're real."

"They were real.  I should know.  I killed each and everyone of them."

"*Were* real.  They aren't anymore.  They aren't in your head talking
to you."

Tom thrust himself out of his seat and paced around.  "Don't you think
I know that?  Don't you think I know there's no way they could be in
here?" he demanded, repeatedly slamming the heel of his hand into his
forehead.  "Don't you know I know these are the first signs of
psychosis?"  His voice broke on the last word.

"You're not going to go insane," she insisted.

"Going to go?  I'm already there.  Look at what I'm doing?  I'm in the
middle of the Delta Quadrant all by myself-"

"You're not all by yourself.  I'm here."

"And to get you here, I've played on your loyalty to me as your former
leader to drag you along with me on this crazy quest for vengeance
that probably doesn't have a snowball's chance on Vulcan of
succeeding.  I'm probably just going to get us killed, but am I
stopping?  Am I telling you to turn around and go back to New Kildare
where we'd be safe and sound?  No.  No, I'm not.  And there isn't a
single part of me that wants to, even though I know how this probably
will end.  How I'm probably taking you to your death."

"Sunbird, I'm not here because of some blind loyalty to my leader. 
I'm here because you need me and this is where I want to be.  If it
wasn't, I wouldn't have come.  When you transferred my consciousness
into the Vanguard, just before my body died, you freed me from the...
the mindless loyalty The Protectors programmed into me to have towards
you.  If I follow you wherever you lead it's not because they made me
incapable of doing anything else.  It's because I want to do it."

"Why?  Why when you know what's going to happen?  When you know what a
folly it is?"

Sunfire almost told him the truth then and there.  She almost told him
how much she loved him and that she was willing to follow him to the
ends of the Universe and beyond if he asked her to.  But she knew he
was not ready to hear that, not when he still had to get over the
duplicity of one B'Elanna Torres.  So instead she avoided his
questions and came back to the original topic.

"I just found the Homeworld!  According to the communiqués coming from
there, the new Gherop Leader, a female cousin of T'Do's named R'Co, is
due to be officially installed as the new Leader in a few days' time.
She's going all out and having this ridiculously grand affair.
Everyone who's anyone in the Gherop Empire is on their way to the
Homeworld for it."

"That could be good for us.  Lots of people there.  Mass confusion. 
We can work with this.  This R'Co.  What kind of info can you get me
on her?"

"There's quite a bit.  Probably not all though."

"She made any statements about her plans?  'I plan to continue on as
my cousin T'Do started' et cetera?  Any indication of her opinion on
anything."

"Nothing, but like I say, these guys probably don't have all the
information.  They're just an outpost, and one rather removed from the
heart of the Empire at that.  They don't have a close connection to
the annals of power.  They're like E'Arte was -- exiled here because
they committed some sort of infraction or insulted the wrong person."

"So they aren't getting all the gossip or the most recent news from
home.  Got it.  You have everything now?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

As they left, Tom hardened his heart.  He had to or he would have
found himself trying to free the poor wretches toiling in the
inhospitable conditions on the surface.  The big picture was what he
had to focus on.  Yes, he could free the slaves, only in doing so he
would tip his hand to the Gherop and they would tighten their
security.  He wanted them nice and unsuspecting for what he had
planned.

---

"Lieutenant!"

Joe paused in his hurrying down the corridor and turned.  "Commander."
There was surprise in Carey's voice as he addressed Chakotay.  He had
expected the other man to still be with B'Elanna in her quarters,
talking, not roaming the halls of Voyager.

"Lieutenant, I need to speak with you for a moment," Chakotay informed
him, coming abreast of him.

"Um, could it wait, sir?  I need to speak with Ensign Kim on some
matters and the computer says he's taken the early lunch break.  I'd
like to talk to him before he has to go back on duty."

"This can't wait."

Three crewmembers passed them and Chakotay clearly realized the middle
of the corridor was not the best locale for any discussion.  He
gestured for Carey to follow him and proceeded to a storage room a
ways along the corridor.  Once inside the large room, he took a seat
on a box and motioned to the one across from it.  Seeing as this was
his superior officer and he could order him to stay and talk whether
he wanted to or not, Joe sat where indicated and hoped it did not take
long or he would miss Harry in the Mess Hall.

"I just came from seeing B'Elanna.  Since you're apparently in on this
plan of hers to go after Paris, I don't see any reason why not to tell
you what was said."  And so he recounted his take on the entire
conversation between himself and Torres only minutes earlier in her
quarters.  At the end of it, he sighed and shook his head yet said no
more.

"But if you know I'm for bringing Tom back here," Joe questioned
slowly, "why are you here telling me all this?"

"Because I have the feeling you are helping her more because you think
it will do just that -- help her -- not because you really want Paris
back here.  She made a comment that puzzled me.  For a moment I
couldn't figure it out then I realized what she really meant.  You
agree with me that Paris is potentially dangerous, don't you.  Maybe
even that we all might end up in danger if he does give in to his
psychosis?"

The engineer was torn.  He did not want to lie to the commander and
deny the truth in his statement, but at the same time he knew if he
admitted it he could tell Chakotay would use it against B'Elanna and
her plans.

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I do have concerns about Tom," he began slowly, "but I also
think they are outweighed by the benefits of his presence.  Namely, if
something goes wrong with the Gopher Hole I would rather he and
Sunfire were present for consultation.  And there are some on board,
B'Elanna, Harry Kim, Naomi Wildman, and Megan Delaney primarily who
need to resolve their issues with him or they'll never be able to move
on. That's why I want him back here, Commander."

Chakotay opened his mouth to argue, but Joe pre-empted him.

"And, yes, I do worry about his mental state, but I worry more about
the unwitting people he might encounter and harm if the worst case
scenario comes truth and he does give in to madness.  We know him and
his past, about the potential danger he might be to himself and
others.  Others don't and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I
thought there might be the slimmest possibility of something bad
happening and I did nothing.  Don't you feel the same way, Commander?
Or are you more concerned with your own safety and your own dislike of
Tom Paris than you are about the dangers for others?"

Joe rose and excused himself before Chakotay could answer.

-------

By the time Joe reached the Mess Hall, he was relieved his worries
over his target having been intercepted by someone else, specifically
the ubiquitous Seven of Nine, were unfounded.  The minute he had left
the Commander, he had asked the Computer the time and found half of
the lunch break was over and he wished he had arranged to meeting Kim
in his quarters to ensure privacy.  'But then I'm out of replicator
credits,' he had thought.  'I would have had to go to the Mess Hall
for trays and the Commander would have waylaid me anyway and I would
be no further ahead than I am.  How am I supposed to talk to him with
Miss Stick-to-him-like-adhesive there?'

Only she was not there after all.  'Maybe she's wrapped up in the
sensor data coming from the ship in distress and she's not going to
leave Astrometrics to shadow Harry,' he hoped as he collected a tray
at the serving counter and scanned the room for his quarry.  'Clearly
her constant attention hasn't done him any good judging by the look of
him,' he lamented, seeing the ensign seated alone at a corner table on
the highest level of the room.  Whether by chance or design of the
others who did not wish to be around the sullen young man at risk of
becoming depressed themselves, he had been given a wide berth by the
other diners.  'At least I can be assured no one at an adjacent table
will overhear something.'

When Joe stopped at the table, Harry did not look up from the food he
was listlessly playing with.

"Harry?  Can I join you?"

The ensign finally did glance up and it was evident he had not slept
much, if at all, since the last time Joe had seen him.  He shrugged
and returned to his food.

Placing his own tray on the table, the engineer sat opposite him. 
"Harry, I need to talk to you about somethings and this is as good a
place as any, I guess."

The younger man could not muster more than a mild interest as his eyes
met Joe's.

Keeping his voice low so if someone did try to eavesdrop they would
not hear anything, Joe started the questions.  "Harry, why'd you go
after Tom?  When the Doctor figured out Tom might not be dead after
all, you apparently were first to volunteer to go recover his body or
rescue him.  Why?"

Harry's eyes dropped.

"Look, I know you and I don't normally talk like this, exchanging
confidences and all, but B'Elanna and I were talking and things came
up that just didn't make sense.  Your going off after a man you
supposedly despised was one of them."

"I don't despise Tom," Harry admitted quietly in a sad voice.

Joe's eyebrows lifted.  "You've forgiven him for everything?"

"I-"

"Ensign.  Lieutenant.  May I join you?"

'So much for her being absorbed with sensor data,' Joe grumbled to
himself as Seven of Nine stood next to his chair.  'And so much to
hearing Harry's version of things.'

By tacit agreement, the men abandoned their conversation -- limited
though it had been.  The rest of the lunch was spent with Seven and
Engineering concerns monopolizing the conversation.  She showed no
signs of leaving and finally Joe had to so Vorik, who had been left in
charge of Engineering in his and B'Elanna's absence could eat too.

"Harry, if we can talk later?" he asked.  "Say in my quarters after
dinner?"

Harry nodded and Joe left.

---

"Captain, there she is."

At Baytart's announcement, Janeway looked up from B'Elanna's padd and
to the main viewer.  Hanging in space, almost powerless, was a small
shuttle no one could deny was Alpha Quadrant in origin.  Emblazoned on
her side was "Baile Atha Cliath" which made no sense to her until the
universal translator, through Harry, translated for the Gaelic-
challenged the words which were one version of the name "Dublin."

"Hail them," she ordered, getting to her feet.

Harry shook his head though she was looking at the screen, not him. 
"No response."

"There is only one lifesign," Tuvok announced.  "Terran female.  She's
unconscious."

Janeway nodded.  "Are we within range?"

"Yes."

"Beam her directly to Sickbay.  Bridge to Doctor, you're about to get
company."

"Captain, the shuttle's warp core is about to breech."

"Shields up!  Back us off Mr. Baytart.  Fast."

Seconds after they moved out of harm's way, the Dublin exploded.

"Report."

"No damage to Voyager," the Head of Ops answered.

"There was no evidence of a imminent breech," the Security Chief said
in turn.  "It appears to have been a deliberate action. "

Janeway frowned.  "But you said she was unconscious.  How could she
have done it?"

"An automatic self-destruct mechanism most likely.  Perhaps triggered
by the transporter beam.  Were it our proximity, it would have been
triggered immediately.  Unless there is a time delay for some reason."

"That's quite a way to keep people off of your ship," Chakotay
observed.

The Captain nodded.  "You have the Bridge, Commander.  Tuvok, you're
with me.  I want to have a word with our guest when she wakes up."

---

"Captain, Commander," the EMH anxiously called, "come explain to our
guest the need for bed rest after what she's been through."

The dark haired woman they had rescued was very much awake, in fact
was sitting up on her biobed and facing away from them as they entered
Sickbay.  At hearing them enter, she whirled her head around to see
them and promptly had a dizzy spell.

"See?" the hologram crowed.  "You shouldn't even be sitting up right
now.  Were it not for my brilliance, you would not be alive right now
so lie down until I tell you to get up."

"But you don't understand," she pled, her green eyes earnest.  "My
ship has a self-destruct sequence.  The moment my lifesigns no longer
were detected, it was armed."

"It already exploded," Tuvok told her.

Now she lay down.  Actually, collapsed was more accurate a term.  "Now
how am I going to get home?"

"We'll be happy to take you," Janeway offered eagerly, "if you can
tell us how you got here from the Alpha Quadrant."

"Alpha Quadrant?  I'm not from the Alpha Quadrant.  Well, I am, but I
don't live there anymore.  Haven't since I was two."

"Two?  How...?"

"Ms. Molloy says she is from New Kildare," the EMH inserted.  He
grimaced at the nonplussed looks on his audience's faces.  "New
Kildare.  System 091?  The system that just vanished without a trace
twenty-four years, ten months and nineteen days ago?"

Comprehension began to dawn.

The Captain eagerly moved closer.  "How'd you get here?"

"It's a long story.  The Dublin?  It was totally destroyed?"

"Unfortunately, yes.  We didn't know about the self-destruct until it
was too late."

"Your ship.  There wasn't any damage was there?  No one was hurt?"

"None.  We moved away in time, Ms Molloy, is it?"

She held out her hand to shake.  "Maire Molloy."

"Captain Kathryn Janeway.  My Security Chief, Lieutenant Commander
Tuvok.  And you've met the Doctor.  So how did you get here?"

"I work at O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility on New Kildare.  I
was out testing my new modifications to the Dublin's engines when I
ran into a problem and ended up like you found me."

"But how did New Kildare end up here in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Well, to be honest, I can't give you the technical explanation.  I
was only two when it happened and I've never really been all that
interested in the hows or whys of our ending up here.  I figure we're
here and that's always been that.  But now you're here.  I know the
people back home will be extremely interested to hear people from the
Alpha Quadrant have finally made it here.  *If* you'd be willing to
take me home to New Kildare, that is."

"Of course we'd be willing to.  What are the co-ordinates?"

Maire supplied them and Janeway relayed them to Baytart at the Helm.
The new lieutenant predicted their ETA to be the next day at
approximately 0815 if they travelled at Warp Eight.  It was with more
enthusiasm than she had displayed in weeks that the Captain told him
to engage and broke the connection.

"You should be home tomorrow morning, barring any unforeseen
complications.  I doubt though your people will be overly excited when
they hear our ending up in the Delta Quadrant wasn't exactly our
doing.  Five years ago, we were brought into this quadrant by an
entity known as the Caretaker and we've been trying to get home
since."

"If no one is going to listen to my expert medical advice, you might
as well leave," the Doctor huffed as he collected up his instruments.

"Come with me, Ms. Molloy," the Captain offered, "and we'll find some
place more comfortable to talk."

"If it's not too much trouble, could it be somewhere with food?  I'm
famished."

"We'll replicate something in my quarters.  I'd take you to the Mess
Hall, but I'd like to have a chance for uninterrupted discussion
before everyone descends on you to ask questions.  Tuvok, call a
Senior Staff meeting for 1600.  Almost three hours should give us
plenty of time to talk and get you fed."

Maire accompanied the other woman out of Sickbay.  Neither one noticed
Tuvok remain behind.

"Lieutenant Torres asked the Captain," Tuvok informed the hologram,
"but we detected Ms. Molloy's distress call before she could instruct
Mr. Baytart on the heading he was to set, either for New Rachar or the
Alpha Quadrant.  By the look on Lieutenant Torres' face, the Captain
had not specified the route to her either."

"And now we're taking this one home and getting farther away from Mr.
Paris all the time.  How is Lieutenant Torres taking this?"

"I haven't seen her since the Captain gave the order to answer the
distress call.  She was not pleased to be delayed.  When she hears
about this new heading, she will be even less pleased."

"You want to tell her before she finds out the hard way?  I can't
really leave Sickbay unattended."

"I will tell her."

"And I'll charge up the osteogenic stimulator and dermal regenerators
just in case."

Tuvok nodded.  "That may not merely be a jest."  He walked out in
search of the lieutenant.

---

"What do you mean she's not here?" Joe hissed.

Had he been human, Vorik would have shrugged.  "She has yet to return,
Lieutenant."

"Great.  Just great.  And you need lunch yet."  Joe glanced around,
taking inventory of the crew working around Engineering at the moment. 
"You go.  I'll give Nicoletti a chance to be in charge for a few
minutes while I go check on B'Elanna."

"I do not think that will be necessary, sir."

Joe followed Vorik's gaze and saw what the Vulcan did -- a volatile
looking Torres stalking through the main doors.  After years of her
mood swings, the Engineering staff instantly recognized the danger
signals when they saw them.  Everyone who had been very busy to begin
with suddenly became twice as busy and none dared chance meeting the
Chief's eyes for fear of their lives.  Thankfully, she headed straight
for her office and they could relax for the time being.

"I'll handle this," Joe sighed.  "You go for lunch."

"Good luck, sir."

"I may need it."

They parted company, Vorik for the Mess Hall, Joe for the lioness'
den.

"You won't believe what Chakotay said to me," she roared a moment
later and Joe was sure the crew could hear her bellow through the
closed office door behind him.

"Actually, I would," he stated calmly, taking the wind out of her
sails.  "He cornered me when I was on my way to see Harry in the Mess
Hall.  It must have been just after he left you.  He told me all about
your conversation."

"Why?"

"Apparently you made some remark that made him think I might be
sympathetic to his side of the argument, but that I was on your side
out of loyalty to you."

"Well, aren't you?"

"To a degree, yes.  But only to a degree.  I made that clear to him.
And you and I have been through this and settled the matter, I
thought."

Nodding, she dropped into her desk chair.  "Joe, what are we going to
do?  Once we get to this ship in distress and help fix it or
whatever-"

"You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"We already reached it.  According to what Vorik told me before you
arrived, we got to within transporter range, beamed the only occupant
to Sickbay then had to back off fast because the ship blew.  Now we're
on our way to take the pilot home."

She went very still.  "Let me guess.  It's even further in the wrong
direction from Tom?"

"Yes."

"See?  I told you Janeway wasn't going to go after Tom!"

"Maybe, once we've dropped the survivor off at home-"

"And maybe the warp core will sprout a nice crop of daisies this
year."  She punched out a command on her computer and glared at the
screen.

The sound of the announcer interrupted what Joe was planning to say.
At B'Elanna's barked "Come," the Security Chief entered.  Turning his
back to B'Elanna, Joe gave Tuvok a grim look then left.

"Lieutenant, may I speak with you for a moment?" Tuvok requested as
the door closed.

B'Elanna barely glanced up from her computer screen.

Tuvok came towards her desk and looked at what so commanded her
attention.  "So you already know where we're headed."

"In the wrong direction from Tom, that's where," she bit out, eyes
never leaving the starchart of the sector.  Thanks to the information
Maire had furnished Janeway with, Astrometrics had been able to
accurately label the Y Llat Dust Cloud and New Kildare therein as the
finishing point of Voyager's flight path.

"So what do you plan to do?"

She shot him a look.  "What do you think I'm planning to do.  If
Janeway won't listen to reason, then to Hell with her.  I'll get Tom
back on my own."

"And, Lieutenant, how do you plan to do this?  Take a shuttle and go
through Gherop space all by yourself?  If you are not captured within
a day, I will be surprised."

"I won't be captured."

"You intend to go out fighting?"

"At least I will have tried to get to Tom.  *She* doesn't seem the
least bit interested in the idea.  When I asked her, gave her our
research and plans, told her about them, she didn't say anything.  Not
one word.  She just more or less told me to shut up and walked out
onto the Bridge."

"The Captain actually told you to 'shut up?'"

"Not the exact words.  But her meaning was clear.  There is no doubt
in my mind, if that SOS had not been picked up, she would have told
Baytart to head for the Alpha Quadrant, not New Rachar.  No doubt at
all."

"So you intend to leave Voyager yourself and look for Mr. Paris?"

"Yes."

"I feel I must remind you that there exists the possibility Mr. Paris,
for whatever reason, is not on New Rachar.  If you arrive there and he
is not there, you may spend the rest of your life alone, searching for
him.  The Delta Quadrant is a large and dangerous place to search for
one person, especially if the searcher is alone him or herself.  Many
people do develop mental illnesses in such isolated circumstances."

"I don't care.  I'm still going."

"May I make an alternative suggestion?"

"What?"

"Permit me to speak with the Captain and see if I can change her mind.
She was reading what I believe was the padd you gave her.  The one she
had in her hand when the two of you exited her Ready Room earlier
today?"  At her confirmation of the padd's origin, he nodded.  "Then
there is hope yet that she will change her mind about our request.
Added to that, I have known her for many years.  There have been
instances in which I have been able to persuade her to see the logic
in arguments when she has not been willing to open her eyes and mind
to it.  Perhaps I can do the same this time."

B'Elanna mulled over the idea then nodded.

"I have your word that you will not go through with your intention to
search for him alone unless the Captain rejects my appeal?"

Another begrudging nod.

"Good."  He headed for the door and paused half-way there, not turning
back towards her.  "And, Lieutenant, if that time does come?  Please
tell Mr. Paris he will not be forgotten."  Tuvok resumed his
departure.

---

Swallowing her forkful of vegetable lasagne, Maire continued her
narrative.  "So it took us years to be able to create sensors powerful
enough to cut through the dust particles so we could navigate through
the cloud."

"But you never leave to explore the systems around you?"

She shrugged.  "A little, thus the need for the self-destruct of
mechanism, but there aren't many inhabited systems around us to
explore anyway."

"But still..."

"New Kildare wasn't settled by explorers, Captain, not space explorers
anyway.  We're scientists and inventors and artists and educators. 
You see, New Kildare was started as colony to preserve the Irish
Gaelic dialect, culture, traditions, history, and art, not as a
Federation outpost or port for passing starships.  We created a home,
not a homebase."

"I guess that explains your accent and name.  Irish."

She nodded.  "We're mostly Irish, but there were some students and
professors on New Kildare at the time of the Relocation who weren't
Irish at all.  Some were French from the Sorbonne, others were Dutch
from the University at New Amsterdam.  They were part of an exchange
programme with our New Dublin University and their home universities.
And there are a couple of others from other Terran-origin cultures who
had married a New Kildare resident prior to The Relocation and
naturally came with us."

"So after The Relocation and your people were able to develop sensors
that could cut through the dust cloud, no one ever got curious about
their new home quadrant?"

"As I said, a little, but most of our ships were short range shuttles
like the Dublin.  Like her, before I modified her engines anyway." 
She groaned and fell back into her chair, eyes closed.  "Oh, how am I
going to explain losing her to the directors of the OPRF?  They'll
take it out of my salary, I just know it."  She sighed and looked at
Janeway.  "Of course, being brought home by actual people from the
Alpha Quadrant should help distract them.  Fair warning, your crew's
going to be inundated with questions about what's been happening back
there, even if your information's five years old now."

"And so will your people.  Scientists have been baffled as to what
happened to New Kildare and System 091.  Being able to take an
explanation home with us will be amazing.  Maybe we even can find a
way to reverse whatever happened and get you home too."  Janeway's
eyes took on a far away look.

"How long is it until you reach home?"

The Captain came back to her.  "It could be a few dozen years yet or
it might be a few weeks.  It's complicated, but we had visitors from
the Alpha Quadrant a couple of weeks ago.  They have a way to open an
artificial wormhole of sorts called a Gopher Hole.  With their ships
powered by yatelite crystals instead of dilithium they're able to open
this Gopher Hole and travel anywhere."

"Why didn't they take you home with them?"

"It's a long story.  They didn't come here for us really, but more for
my Conn Officer.  Former Conn Officer."

"So they took your Conn Officer and not all of you?  That's hardly
fair."

Kathryn began clearing the table.  "They didn't take Tom.  He left of
his accord three days ago."

"Left?  As in decided he didn't want to be here anymore?  Why would he
do that?"

Kathryn found herself telling her guest everything that had happened
with Tom from the moment she first met his father and seen Tom's
picture on the Admiral's wall to their first meeting in the New
Zealand prison to Tom's leaving only days ago.  When she was finished,
she slumped into a chair, all energies spent

"You were very close to this Tom Paris."

The grey eyes dropped to the floor.  "I thought I was."

"Did you want him to leave?"

"No!"

"Then you would have stopped him if you could have?"

"Of course.  I tried to.  When I read his resignation, I tried to hail
him, but he was gone.  Our sensors couldn't find him.  Sunfire's
undetectable."

"If you know where he would be headed and you say you never wanted him
to go, why aren't you there at New Rachar now?"

"The Gherop came after us and we had to lose them.  But once we did,
we lost the engines and spent days repairing them."

"And once the engines were fixed?"

"It was only a couple of hours ago."

"And?"

"And we picked up your SOS and we came to get you."

"But if you hadn't picked up my signal?  Not that I'm not grateful you
did, but if you had not where would you be right now?"

Quietly, she related B'Elanna's request they go to New Rachar.

"And how did you plan to answer her?" Maire asked equally softly.

Sighing, the Captain told her.

---

Geron had delayed his lunch as long as he could without those working
along side him making any remarks.  He was not sure if they had seen
him checking the Computer for the Captain's location or not.  He had
tapped out the request and received a text message in response instead
of verbally doing it.  There would have been no end of the strange
looks had the others overheard the Computer's response to his
question.  However, he had to go now if he wanted to keep his plans a
secret.  The computer said Janeway was in her quarters.  That was the
perfect location for a private meeting.  Her Ready Room would have
been too conspicuous, everyone on the Bridge seeing him going in, but
with the officers who had their quarters on her deck all on duty or
asleep, no one would notice him going in there.

He entered the turbolift and stopped dead.

"Tem!" Megan half-smiled and drew him into the lift with her.  "I was
just coming to see you.  Have you heard Janeway's turned down our
request?"

"Yes.  Lieutenant Torres just told me."

She leaned into him, burying her face in his neck.  "What are we going
to do?"

"I-"

"Please state destination," the Computer requested in her monotone.

Megan automatically gave her deck and section number and Geron found
himself, not on his way to see the Captain, but going to Megan's
quarters to console her.

---

"How did you do it?" Chakotay asked in a stunned whisper the moment he 
and their guest were out of the Captain's quarters.  "She actually was 
smiling.  Okay, it wasn't a huge smile, but it was a smile just the 
same.  She hasn't done that in weeks."

Maire shrugged.  When the First Officer had dropped in to check on
Janeway and their guest, he had been surprised to find Kathryn and the
New Kildarean talking like old friends.  Had Tuvok not come to see the
Captain on a private matter, the two women still would be at it.
Chakotay had been asked to show Maire to her temporary quarters while
the Captain and Security Chief talked.

"My brother says I should have been a counsellor or a bartender
instead of an engineer.  I've always had the knack for getting people
to open up and talk."

At the door to the guest quarters, the Commander stopped dead. 
"Counsellor?"

"Yes."

He gestured her inside and sat her at the dining table.  Taking a seat
next to her, he rested his forearms on the glass tabletop.  "Voyager
doesn't have a counsellor.  The story is Command didn't think she
needed one since she only was going to be out for a few weeks."

"Searching for Mr. Tuvok.  The Captain told me."

"Well, we really need one."

"You will be getting home soon though, if this Gopher Hole works. 
Then you'll get all the counsellors you could ever want."

"But if this doesn't work, we won't."

"That would be unfortunate."

"How are you at holoprogramming?"

"So-so.  Other than when I'm running a simulation of one of my designs
or consulting on someone else's, I don't spend much time in the
holofacilities on New Kildare.  Why?"

Disappointed, he sighed.  "I can't make heads or tails of the
psychology texts in our database so I've thought about creating a
holographic counsellor along the lines of the Doctor."

"That would be a good idea.  If no one on the crew wants the job, then
your ECH would be the next best option if you don't make it to the
Alpha Quadrant."

"Would you help me?"  He explained what he had discovered was going to
be a mind-boggling task of designing the ECH.  "I still have to find
someone to do the holoprogramming, but would you be willing to
assist?"

"I don't know what I can do, but I'll try.  We won't reach New Kildare
until late tomorrow so I certainly have the time to kill."

He smiled gratefully.  "You worked wonders with the Captain.  If only
we could somehow channel into the ECH whatever you did with her, this
thing will turn out even better than I'd hoped.  It's going to need a
lot of work to make it realistic.  If we can't make it as real as the
Doctor is, we might as well have them talk to the computer."

She nodded.

"So, you want to start now?"

"Might as well."

Chakotay dragged a chair over to the desk, gesturing for her to sit in
it, and he assumed the one that already was there.  His attention
immediately focused on the computer so he did not see Maire give him
an appraising look.

"Commander, may I ask you a question," she requested, her face
clearing into an innocent look.

"Of course."

"The Captain spoke of a Tom Paris who recently had left the ship.  She
said his departure was rather abrupt and unexpected.  Did you see it
that way?"

He thought for a long moment.  "I guess it was unexpected in a way,
but with Paris you never know what he's going to do."

"You sound like you don't feel too kindly towards him."

For almost five minutes, he went into minute detail of all the
grievances he had against Tom Paris.  The alcoholic and arrogant
wiseass he had taken into the Maquis against his better judgement
because they desperately needed a pilot.  The finding out only weeks
ago that his need of a new pilot had been orchestrated by The
Protectors so Paris could get into the Maquis to contact one of their
own who was inexplicably incommunicado.  His apparent betrayal of the
Maquis when he was captured by Starfleet.  Chakotay's shock at finding
the traitor here on Voyager and worse yet, that he was betraying them
for certain this time in helping Janeway find his "former friends" in
the Maquis.  The rocky road since the two crews had been forced to
become one.  Then this latest bombshell that had changed everything
forever.

"It sounds like you've never liked the man."

Chakotay returned his attention to the ECH file.

"But that's not exactly correct is it?  You did like him once, didn't
you?"

"It was all an illusion," he said, not knowing he was echoing Tom's
words to Maaike and Stephane.  "None of it was real.  He wasn't what
he appeared to be."

"And what did he appear to be?"

"He made us think he was this... reckless hotshot who really was some
kind of hero wannabe."

"Wannabe?"

"Okay, so there were times that he *was* a hero, but..."

"But what?  He didn't really do the things everyone thought him a hero
for doing?"

"He did them, yes, but there's nothing heroic about a mass murderer."

"From what the Captain said, that was not his choice.  The Protectors
made him do all that."

"Okay, yes-"

"Was he still killing people here?  Away from his controllers?"

"No-"

"So I don't understand.  He did do the heroic things everyone thought
he was doing.  He did do horrible things in the past only they weren't
his choice.  How was he not worthy of being deemed heroic or liked?"

"He just isn't."

"Commander, you will have to excuse me, but you're not making sense "

"He hurt B'Elanna."

She gasped.  "He was physically abusive to this person?"

"No.  He never hit her.  If he had, it might have been easier.  She
would have killed him and we wouldn't have this problem."

"What problem?"

"Paris left her this note," he blurted out.  "He'd somehow got it into
his head she and our Ops Officer were having an affair supposedly that
was why he left."

"And they're not?"

"No.  Life would be so much easier if they were, but they're just
friends.  But since Paris thinks they are involved, he's taken off,
leaving behind this sob story of a farewell note to B'Elanna saying
how he's leaving so it's easier for all of them.  So now, she more
sure than ever that he never really wanted to leave, that it was her
fault that he left, and she wants us to go after him so she can plead
with him to come back."

"And you don't agreed with this idea."

"No, I don't.  Sure, he might have been upset to find out his best
friend and lover were going at it behind his back, but he really left
because he didn't get what he wanted plain and simple.  He wanted the
Captain to ignore the Prime Directive and she wouldn't.  This
contention of B'Elanna's that it's all her fault he left...."

"You think misplaced guilt is the reason she wanted Voyager to go
after him?  You don't think it might be love?  That she misses him now
that he's gone and wants him back?"

"She'll get over him.  He never was any good for her in the first
place and now that we know the truth about him, she has proof.  Once
things have calmed down -- *she* has calmed down, she'll see this is
what's best for her and everyone."

"Are you so sure you know what's best for her, Commander?"

"A mass murderer who's had his head messed with since he was a baby
hardly can be considered good for anyone by any set of standards, so,
yes, I am sure I know what's best for her."

"What about love, Commander?"

"What about it?"

"Do you think they love each other?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "I know she *thinks* she loves
him.  And he claimed to love her, but who knows if he's even capable
of love.  After what The Protectors did to him to make him into this
super- assassin... they couldn't have left much, if any, human
compassion or feeling in him."

"And yet you say he has done heroic things.  I would think compassion
and feeling would be vital to doing anything like that."

He closed down the file.  "I think this was a mistake."

She leaned back in her chair.  "Before someone can become a
psychiatrist or counsellor they have to submit to a full exploration
of their own psyche.  You want to create a counsellor, Commander.  You
maybe one step removed from being an actual mental health care
professional, but *your* psyche still must be examined."

"How do you figure that?"

"You say you want to be careful in the creation of this ECH of yours.
You want to find the right gender and species and appearance, but
those are only window dressing."

"Of course, it's what you put into it that's the truly important
part-"

"Yes, but there has to be more to the ECH than just the psychology
database.  You said it yourself.  If you don't make this hologram as
lifelike as possible, you might as well be talking to the ship's
computer.  But the programmer's own personal biases and feelings play
a larger role in the end product than you'd think.  You seem to have a
hatred of Tom Paris.  You think he was bad for this B'Elanna.  She
logically will be one of the people in need of this ECH's services.
Yet if you are the one who is contributing to this counsellor's
creation, your own unresolved feelings regarding this man will creep
in, whether you know it or not.  That will effect how it treats
B'Elanna and anyone else who needs to vent their feelings about Tom
Paris."

"Look, I know how I feel about Paris.  There's nothing unresolved
here.  Paris lied to us.  He never told us what he was when he found
out."

"Do you think he could have confessed his past and had any of you
understand what he himself still is trying to understand and accept?
No, you would have done just as you did and shrank from him, rejected
him because of what he had done.  You would have heard the confession
about the crimes, but not about the motivation for the commission of
those crimes."

"If he had told us when he first found out, we would not have been
taken in by The Diogenes.  We would have recognized it as a trick and
been prepared."

"From what the Captain told me of that ship, it outclassed Voyager in
size, firepower, and crew compliment.  What good would knowing have
done?  They still would have taken Mr. Paris and done whatever to him.
And if you could have run from them or fought them off, you would not
now have the plans for this Gopher Hole of theirs."

"But B'Elanna wouldn't have been used by Raven."

"You're right, she would not have suffered in that way, but I do not
see how Mr. Paris can be blamed for someone else's doings."

"Raven went after B'Elanna to get at Paris."

"And Mr. Paris could have stopped him?  Stopped Raven's hatred of him?
His vendetta against him?"

Chakotay did not answer.

"You need to think about why you have your own vendetta against Mr.
Paris, Commander.  Think about why you hate him so much and ask
yourself if it is justified.  When you have answers to those
questions, then and only then should you even think about starting
work on this ECH of yours."  She stood.  "Leave me your research and I
will take a look at it later.  Right now, I think I'd like to check
out your ship. I will see you at the staff meeting, Commander.  Good
afternoon."  She walked out leaving an angry and confused man behind
her.

---

"Tuvok, the arguments detailed are logical, yes," the Captain
conceded.

"Yet you are going to disregard them," he declared with total
certainty.

Rising from her chair, she wandered over to the replicator for a cup
of coffee.  "And out of curiosity, what makes you say that?"

"I have known you for many years, Captain," he replied her back.  "I
believe I can predict your decisions with a reasonable degree of
accuracy merely by your body language and tone of voice."

She strolled over to the windows, her cup cradled in her hands. 
"You're saying I am predictable."

"To someone who has known you for sometime as I have, yes.  However
had someone posed this scenario to me and asked my opinion on what you
would do, I would have said you would have immediately ordered Voyager
after him."

"You think I would have ignored Maire's SOS?"

"No, it is not in your character to ignore pleas for assistance,
especially not when the one making the plea is in the situation Ms.
Molloy was.  But when you ordered the Helm to respond to that distress
call, I would have expected you to have assured Lieutenant Torres we
would search for Mr. Paris after we did, not tell her you would take
her request and rationale 'under advisement.'  Has your opinion of Mr.
Paris undergone such a radical about face that you no longer care
about him or his welfare?  Or about what is best for this ship or its
crew?"

She shot him a glance.  "Is that how you see it?"

"Yes, Captain, I do.  Mr. Paris was not mentally or emotionally in a
fit state to make such a life altering decision as this."

"That is mere speculation, Tuvok."

"Mr. Paris had just spent days alone on a planet thinking we had
abandoned him and was identifying with downtrodden natives.  A version
of Stockholm Syndrome as it were."

"Stockholm Syndrome is identification with one's captors to the point
of joining them in their efforts."

"He had just come out of surgery," he continued, "only to discover
these people with whom he was identifying had been rejected by you and
had left.  There was no form of adequate closure to the Rachar
situation for him."

"So you're saying what?  Now that he has had a few days with them we
should just run off after him and tell him to come home like a good
little boy?"

"Ask him to, yes."

"And what if he says 'no?'  What if he tells us to get lost?"

"Then he tells us that."  He moved closer to her and raised an eyebrow
at her.  "This is not like you, Captain."

"What do you mean?"

"Your moodiness.  Your withdrawing to your Ready Room and hiding.  I
do not understand.  Given your reaction after you thought Mr. Paris
had been killed in the cave-in, I would have thought you would have
been the one spearheading the pursuit of him.  But that is not the
case. Your laissez-faire reaction towards Mr. Paris is out of
character for you."

Evading his gaze, she walked away.  "Perhaps I think it was his
decision to leave and I'm trying to respect it."

Turning, he watched her straighten things.  "No, I do not believe that
is the case here.  I think you finally have moved beyond the guilt and
self-recriminations and now are feeling betrayed because he left.  Or
it could just be Commander Chakotay has been campaigning for
abandoning Mr. Paris for long enough you have subconsciously decided
it would be easier to stop resisting and listen to him.  You think you
can just let him guide you in this so you do not have to sort out your
feelings about Mr. Paris.  You will not have to take responsibility
for what truly are your mistakes in this and what are not though you
are assuming them anyway.  Without Mr. Paris here as a visual
reminder, you can shove everything to the back of your mind and
declare it dealt with."  He shook his head.  "That is avoidance,
Captain, not dealing with it.  Avoidance is dangerous to your mental
health.  You know that first hand."

Her eyes jumped to his.

"When your father and first fiancé died in that accident, you felt
survivor's guilt because of it.  You spent a very long time hiding in
yourself and your room until you were dragged out into life again.
That is how you termed what your sister did for you, isn't it?"

She nodded shortly.

"Then consider me standing in for her."

Kathryn broke eye contact.

---

Maire received many stares as she walked down the corridors of 
Voyager.  It was quite understandable. They didn't get many visitors 
and if they did, they always were escorted by someone, not permitted 
to wander about the ship alone. But Maire was alone and did not do 
anymore than smile and nod to anyone she saw.  She had a mission to 
undertake and time was wasting.

There were looks of surprise at her entry into Engineering.  Those on
Deck Eleven had heard of their guest, but they had not expected to see
her in their domain.  Yet there she was, looking admiringly at
everything as she approached the Chief at the warp core.

"You must be B'Elanna Torres, the Chief Engineer," Maire guessed,
holding out her hand to her.

Reluctantly, B'Elanna shook the hand.  "Yes?"

"Just the person I wanted to see then."  She pulled a padd out of the
thigh pocket of her trousers and passed it to the half-Klingon.  "The
Captain suggested I talk with you regarding the Dublin."

"Your shuttle was destroyed," B'Elanna pointed out, looking at the
padd.

"True, but I need to know why I had problems in the first place.  If I
can figure out what went wrong with my design then I won't be in such
hot water when I get back home."  She leaned closer.  "Bureaucrats.
You lose one shuttle and you'd think you blew up the planet or
something."

B'Elanna tried to hand the padd back to its owner.  "We are really
busy right now."

Maire did not accept its return.  "Ah yes, the Gopher Hole
modifications."

"Amongst other things, yes."

"Well, perhaps we can effect a trade."  She held up her hands.  "An
extra set of hands for a second opinion?  I am an engineer myself."

She thought about it for a moment then the hand with the padd lowered
to her side.  "Fine.  Let's go to my office."

Half an hour later they still were in the office.  Interest in the New
Kildarean improvements to their shuttles' design and Maire's own
calming personality had caused B'Elanna to forget her hostility
towards the woman.  They had progressed from trying to figure out the
Dublin's problem to reviewing Voyager's alteration plans.

"I don't see any other way around it, B'Elanna," Maire finally sighed. 
"Voyager has to either find a friendly dry-dock or set down on some
out-of-the-way planet somewhere.  Once you start making these changes
you're going to want to be somewhere completely secure.  You'll be
sitting ducks if these Gherop the Captain told me about come along
while you're in the middle of this."

"Unfortunately we haven't seen anything remotely like a dry-dock or
even a space station in the passed couple months and as far as we can
tell the Gherop are everywhere in this area.  So there's no place we
can go without them hearing of it and coming after us."

Maire flipped her wild, black curls out of her face.  "You know there
is one place you can go and they won't find you.  In fact you'll be
there tomorrow."

"New Kildare?"

"Exactly.  Where I work, the O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility, we
have an area large enough for Voyager to land with room to spare.
Well, we'll have to move the shuttles that are there to other fields,
but there will be room.  And if she's there, then our staff can help
out yours and our facilities will be available to you."

Sitting back in her chair, B'Elanna thought about it.

"It's all contingent on the approval of the Board of Directors and of
your Captain's of course, but I doubt they'll say no."

"I'm sure," the Chief mumbled, deep in thought.

"What is it?  I thought you would be pleased."

B'Elanna surfaced from her thoughts and began straightening her desk. 
"Of course.  Your suggestion would make a lot of sense."

"But..."

"But nothing.  It makes a lot of sense."

Through narrowed eyes, Maire watched her.  "But it would mean you
would be stuck on New Kildare for some time and not be able to go look
for your mate or whatever this Tom Paris is."

Her eyes grew wide and her hands stilled.  "How..."

"I had a very long talk with the Captain and Commander Chakotay.  Both
told me about Mr. Paris' leaving and your desire to go after him. 
Were they correct?  Do you want him back?"

"That is my business."

"Yes, but Voyager going to New Kildare means a delay."

"I don't want to discuss this," she insisted getting up from her desk. 
"Anyway, there's a staff meeting we have to attend."

Following the half-Klingon out of Engineering, Maire sighed to
herself.  'That hardly went well,' she thought to herself.  'Ah, well,
there's still time.'

---

'How was he supposed to argue with a ship?' Tom complained to himself. 
'So he hadn't slept in sometime.  So what?  That hardly justified her
beaming him out of Sickbay where he'd been intently studying Gherop
physiology and into his quarters with the orders to rest.  He wasn't
tired.  Why couldn't she understand that?'

She could keep him there until he did as she told him too.  Especially
after what he had just called her.  Outside of a holodeck programme,
he had never dared call a woman a "pushy broad," though he had always
had kind of liked the sound of in a male chauvinistic throwback to the
1940s sort of way.  Right now, saying it to her, it had seemed
apropos.

He prowled about his quarters, wondering how long it would be before
she realized he was not going to go to bed like a good little boy and
gas him or something.  She was perfectly capable of doing it too, and
knowing her she just might try it.  He was a captive audience for her.
She could do whatever she wanted to him and he was powerless to stop
her.  There were times he really hated the fact she was who and what
she was.  With an organic female who did not know him as well as she
did, he might have been able to lay on the charm and get his way.  The
powers of the flesh were overpowering if used by a master.  But she
was not flesh and she knew all his tricks and would not fall for any
of them.  He was trapped.

Tom sat down on his bunk -- the only piece of furniture she would
allow to appear when he pressed the sensor buttons on control panel
near the door that normally made things like the desk and chair appear
from the wall or floor.  He was not going to do anything but sleep as
far as she was concerned, therefore all he needed was his bunk.

About to get up and pace some more, Tom paused as his eyes fell on
what was mounted on the wall opposite his position.  The simple
drawing Naomi had done for him before the yatelite expedition and had
asked Neelix to deliver to him hung there where he could see it first
thing when he woke in the morning.  'What was Naomi doing right now?'
he wondered.  'Was she safe?  How was she coping with his leaving?  He
missed her so much,' he realized and found himself wishing he could go
back to Voyager.

Then he remembered the reason he had left and how much it would be
hurting B'Elanna, Harry, and himself if he went back.  Everything
would come out then, if it had not already now that he was officially
out of the picture and the way was clear for them to be together. 
There was no reason for them to keep their affair a secret any longer,
even if he did dare go back.  He knew about them and they knew he
knew.  Soon everyone else would know too.  He wondered what the
reactions of the rest of the crew would be when the news of the
now-out-in-the-open couple broke.  Probably a lot of thumbs up for
Harry for having made such a great catch and "it's about times" for
B'Elanna for finally having wised up and discarded that no-good Tom
Paris and picked a real winner like Harry Kim.  No, he thought
massaging his temples where another headache was forming, he really
did not want to be on Voyager after all, not if that was what he was
going to see.

---

Seven was about to abandon her pretence of eating when she saw Harry
enter the Mess Hall, alone, for dinner.  'He was sure to join me at my
table,' she thought.  'All the other tables are full, leaving mine as
the only place where he can seat and eat.  Or at least rearrange his
food on his plate.'

Only things did not work out quite that way.

While her Borg implants in her ears made it possible for her to hear
everything that went on, for most of the confrontation that followed,
they were unnecessary.  When the bombshell hit, the noise level in the
room dropped to zero.

It all started innocuously enough.

"Hello, Ensign Kim, what would you like?" Neelix asked as Harry
approached the serving counter.  "The special?  It's the same as
yesterday since the crew really seemed to like it."

"Whatever," the young man answered.

The Talaxian gave the human a sympathetic look as he plopped a blue-
grey mass on a plate.  "Remember my offer.  I'm here if you want to
talk about anything.  Anything at all."

Harry's sad eyes fell from the well-meaning morale officer's.  "I
don't think so."

"It might help."

"Nothing can help."

"I-Lieutenant Torres," he greeted the woman rushing into the room and
making a beeline for them.  He reached for an empty plate to fill for
her.  "I guess that talk the EMH had with you about not skipping meals
worked."

"I'm not here for dinner."  She turned back to Harry and grasped his
arm.  "We have to talk.  Now."

Reacting to the urgency in her voice, Harry seemed to come out of
himself a little.  "You get a table then." he suggested, the first
touch of life coming to his voice since he had been returned to
Voyager after escaping the Gherop prison.

"Not here.  My quarters or yours."

"But...."

"Bring you food with you then- Ouch!"  She looked down to see Naomi
Wildman pounding her with her little fists.

"Get away from him!" the child yelled

"Naomi!" Sam shouted.  "Naomi, stop!"

"No!"  The little girl took another swipe at the confused lieutenant
as her mother tried to pull her away.  "They did this!"

"Did what, Naomi?" Neelix asked, rounding the counter.

"They're the reason Tommy left!"

"Naomi," her mother calmly began, kneeling down beside her, "Tom left
because he felt the Rachar needed him."

"No!  He left because he found out they were having an affair!"

Confused, Sam looked from her daughter's angry expression to the
suddenly pale faces of Harry and B'Elanna.  "What?  Naomi, where'd you
ever get such an idea?  Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim are good
friends.  You don't even know what an 'affair' is."

"Yes, I do," she insisted to her mother.  "I heard the Doctor and
Seven talking about Crewman Zel and Ensign Dore having an affair and
asked what it meant and they told me."  She rounded on the accused
once more.  "And Crewman Ver told Crewman Geron that Tommy left her a
message saying he knew they-" She stuck a finger at Harry and
B'Elanna-  "Were having an affair and after Crewman Ver left, Crewman
Geron admitted it telling Tommy about it."

"He told you this?"

"No, he was talking to himself.  He said he told Tommy what Lieutenant
Jenny Delaney and Ensign Nozawa saw them-" She pointed an accusing
finger at Harry and B'Elanna. "-Doing on Dartin VIII and he wanted to
hurt Tommy because Megan still loves him, but he didn't want him to
leave the ship and maybe get killed."  Her voice doubled in volume
along with the emotions filling it.  "He thinks it will be his fault
if Tommy dies, but it's not!  It's theirs!"

Before her mother or godfather could make a grab for her, Naomi fled
the room, leaving a shocked silence behind her.

"I..." Sam tried to say.

"She's just a little girl," Neelix explained for her.  "She clearly
didn't understand what she heard.  And who knows what that was."

Slowly, B'Elanna walked out of the Mess Hall doors opposite to the
ones Naomi had used.

Harry meanwhile looked at Jenny Delaney who was seated at a table
across the room with her latest conquest and watching the scene before
them.  In a move typical of her, she shrugged and looked at him with
an expression that said she was accepting none of the blame for this
one then returned her attentions to her companion.  Harry, too, then
turned and followed B'Elanna out of the room without his dinner or a
word.

The whispering started before the Mess Hall doors were completely
shut.  Those who had been present for the breakfast during which
B'Elanna had yelled at Chakotay that Tom Paris' leaving was her fault,
reminded their dinner companions of this.  Debates began as to how
long this affair had been going on.  No one debated whether or not
what Naomi said was true.  The fact neither Kim nor Torres had denied
it was proof enough.

Even if she had had a companion of her own with whom to debate, Seven
could not have, she was so swamped with unfamiliar emotions.  She felt
ill, but did not think it was from Mr. Neelix's spicy meal for once.
Her head swam, but there were no stimuli to provoke such a response.
She wanted to deny what she had just seen and heard, but her brain
told her she had.  She wished to run and hide, but she could not
command her body to move.

---

Off at a table across the Mess Hall from Seven sat Maire with Baytart,
Nicoletti, and Ashmore.  Though she already knew Tom's version of
events, she still was somewhat stunned to hear the little girl
blurting them out.  'Things just got more complicated,' she moaned
inwardly.

---

U'Pde traced his late brother's U'Pti's features in the image.  It had
been taken almost a season ago.  The two of them had just returned to
the home they shared on Rachar.  They had been at a ceremony where
U'Pti had been decorated by E'Arte for his actions that had captured
an entire Verta cell, crippling the Rachar resistance movement in that
area.  E'Arte rarely gave out any sort of praise to the soldiers,
preferring instead to take all the glory for himself.  But U'Pti's
success had been an exceptional one and E'Arte had been showing off
his soldiers for a visiting official so U'Pti had received the credit
due him.

Now he was gone.  The glorious career ahead of him was over.  The only
family U'Pde had left was gone.  U'Pti had been more than a brother.
He had been his best friend, his confidant, his constant support, and
his other half and now he was dead.  All because of Voyager and
Sunfire.

As with all other Gherop, it never occurred to him to blame T'Do who
actually merited the blame for what had happened at Rachar.  They all
saw what their former Leader had done as necessary to preserve their
way of life.  It was something that had been done successfully
numerous times before and would be done again the next time slaves
became unruly and everyone needed a reminder of who were the masters
here.

Only thanks to Voyager and Sunfire the reminder had gone wrong.  Other
slaves were hearing of the Rachar slaves and how they had been a part
of killing the Gherop Leader.  From what they had heard over the
classified channels, rebellions were springing up on worlds that
always had been meek followers of the Gherop dictates.  On worlds
where rebellions already had been under way, new hope had been brought
to them.  It did not seem to matter to them that the Rachar were dead
now, hunted down by U'Pde and his crew.  The fact they had struck the
blow they had and escaped gave them renewed hope they too could rid
themselves of the Gherop yet do so without losing their lives in the
process.

"Voyager has a lot to pay for," he told the image, "and they are going
to when I find them.  I swear they will."

---

"Boy, did you miss quite the supper, sis," grinned Jenny as she walked 
into the lab where her sister poured over notes she was making on a 
padd.

"Not now, Jenny.  I have to get this finished."

"Trust me, this is *far* more important than whatever you're doing."

"Can't be.  Now, go find something else to do.  Don't you have a date
tonight?"

"Had to go fill in for someone who was sick."  She perched in the
chair at the station next to her sister's.  "Don't you want to hear
about Torres finally getting her comeuppance?  At the hands of that
Wildman brat no less."

"Jenny, what *are* you prattling on about?"

Now that she had her twin's full attention, she feigned nonchalance. 
"Oh, you said you were too busy to listen."

"Jennifer Delaney!"

She grinned and leaned forward eagerly.  "All right, everyone was in
the Mess Hall for supper.  A repeat of that only mildly disgusting
glop Neelix made last night."

"Jenny."

"Okay, everyone's eating and talking when all of a sudden that Wildman
kid runs in and starts screaming at Torres and beating on her."

"Why?  Naomi's not like that.  She's always been an even-tempered
kid."

Her twin grinned broadly.  "Because she heard Geron and Ver Faran
talking about why Tom Paris really left Voyager."

"Tom left because of the Rachar and the Captain refusing-"

"No," she denied shaking her head.  "He left because he found out
Torres and Harry Kim had been having an affair."

"What?  Jenny, has the Doctor checked out whatever Neelix made for
supper?  It seems to be having delusional side effects on your brain."

"I'm just telling you what the kid said.  Ver told Geron Paris left
because he knew his best friends were fooling around behind his back,
and Geron admitted he was the one who had told Paris about Torres and
Kim in the first place."

"Listen to me, you addled brained twit, and listen well."  Her voice
had dropped to the menacing level she used only during those times she
wished she were an only child.  "Torres and Kim are not, repeat are
not having an affair."

"And what about what Nozawa and I saw months ago?  Hmm?"

"You said you saw them kiss each other.  That's a long way from having
an affair.  Think of the number of men you've kissed.  Have you had an
affair with all of them?"  Megan answered for her.  "No, you have not.
Made a great stab at it, but haven't managed it.  So how did Tem make
the leap from what you two said to what he supposedly told Tom?"

"Look, I don't know where he got his information.  All I know is what
the kid said he and Ver said.  That's it."

"Why would Tem do this?  Why would he say this?  He clearly was making
the affair part up.  There've been no signs of those two carrying on
behind Tom's back."

"The kid said Geron told Paris because he wanted to hurt him because
*you* were in love with him."

Megan did not give her sibling the guilty reaction she was hoping for.
Instead she frowned in confusion.  "That doesn't make sense.  What
does Tom have to do with my loving Tem?"

Jenny understood the lack of expected reaction and groaned.  "Geron
knows you're in love with *Tom*, you idiot."

"What?  I love Tom, but I'm not *in* love with Tom.  Tem knows that."

"Apparently not, because he felt so threatened by Paris he lashed out
at him and did this."

"That's ridiculous."

"Whatever," she said, relaxing back into her chair.  "I'm just telling
you what you missed."

"Once I finish this last calculation, I'm going to get to the bottom
of this," she insisted.  "As for you, get lost and stop spreading this
stupid rumour," the older twin ordered.  "There's just no substance to
it."

"But-"

"I said no.  Now go!"

Jenny glared at her sister's down bent head then flounced out of the
lab.

---

Sam sat next to her daughter on the child's bed.  Her little girl was
lying face down, sobbing her heart out into her pillow.  Gently, she
placed a hand on the little back, trying to be comforting only to have
Naomi shrink away from her touch and roll off of the bed and to her
feet.

"Go away!" she demanded through her tears.

"No," Sam refused, shaking her head.  "This is why you've been so
upset lately, isn't it?  You knew about this and were keeping it all
inside instead of telling me?  This is why you said Lieutenant Torres
really didn't want Lieutenant Paris back?"

She nodded angrily.  "They made Tommy leave.  They hurt him and he had
to go."

"Naomi, I don't know them very well, but I don't think they'd do
something like have an affair behind Lieutenant Paris' back.  That's
just not right and they know that."

"But they did!  Crewmen Geron and Ver said so."

"Naomi, there's an Earth expression -- getting it straight from the
horse's mouth."

"Tommy uses it.  It means going to the source for the information."

"Exactly.  In this case, Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim, not Crewmen
Geron or Ver.  Only the people involved would know what really is
going on, not two people who aren't even friends of theirs."

"They still made Tommy go," she insisted stubbornly.

"Why he left we don't know for sure other than what he told you, but
when we are finished at New Kildare, then hopefully we'll be going to
New Rachar to find him and find out.  Until then, we won't know."

"Why aren't we going now?"

"We have to get the woman we rescued from that shuttle back to her
people and she's offered her help in fixing the ship.  You remember I
told you we have to do some things to Voyager so we can try to get
home?"

"The Gopher Hole stuff."

"Yes.  The woman we picked up works at a place where they design ships
and she says they'll probably help us fix up Voyager."

"But why can't be go see Tommy now!"

"Because the Captain wants us to do this."

"Then we'll go get Tommy?"

Not wanting to get Naomi's hopes up only to have them dashed again,
Sam told her daughter the truth.  "I don't know that for sure, honey,
but I think we will if Lieutenant Torres and the others have their
way."

"But we still might not?"

"Yes."

Before she could stop her, Naomi shot out of their quarters.

Exhausted, Sam collapsed on the bed.  'I'm too old for this,' she
sighed in the parent's age old lament over their irrational offspring.

---

After five minutes spent pacing his quarters, trying to make sense of
everything, Harry gave up and decided to head for B'Elanna's in the
hopes she could explain it.  As he walked down the corridor to the
turbolift, he feel those he passed, turning to stare at his back and
whisper to one another, signifying the ship's grapevine quickly was
passing the word.  He ignored all of them, keeping his eyes front and
chin up just as they had taught him at the Academy.  That became
difficult, however when he stepped into the turbolift, gave a nod to
the two crewmen who already occupied it, then turned his back on them
and called out B'Elanna's Deck and Section number.  While his eyes
remained on the doors during the trip, he could sense the men give
each other smirks behind his back.

"Way to go, Kim," one of them congratulated.

"Yeah," the other agreed.  "Didn't think you had it in you."

Confused, the ensign stared at each on in turn.  "What are you two
talking about?"

"Bagging Torres.  Quite a feat."

The first one nodded.  "Especially under Paris' nose.  That takes guts
and skill.  Frankly, none of us ever thought you were much of a
ladiesman, kid, but to steal the lover of *the* undisputed ladiesman
on the ship, that's something."

"Yeah, but on behalf of those of us on the ship who really don't want
to part with our girlfriends, stick with Torres, will you, and don't
go after ours?"

What happened next caught Harry more unawares than it did the crewmen.
Unable to take another moment of the undeserved "congratulations,"
Harry whirled on the two men and decked them before they knew what had
hit them.  They fell to the floor of the turbolift and sprawled there,
dazed, just as the doors opened.  Had the person on the other side,
waiting to enter the lift, been anyone other than Tuvok, the incident
might have been ignored.  But it was him and Harry squared his
shoulders, ready to face whatever disciplinary action coming to him.

---

"I thought I'd find you here."

Seven ignored the EMH's entrance into Astrometrics.

"I just heard a rumour that I think might be important."

He stopped at her side and watched her.  Typically the former Borg
displayed her own version of the Paris mask or the Vulcan non-
expression expression.  Unless someone knew her well, they did not see
the minute changes in her face that occurred whenever she was upset or
angry.  They were there now.

"And I think you've already heard it though."

"If you are talking about Naomi's announcement in the Mess Hall at
dinner, then yes, I have heard.  First hand.  I was there."

"I don't understand it.  The two of them just doesn't make sense."

"Doctor, I am busy right now.  I do not have time to gossip."

He glanced at the "important work" she was doing.  "Yes, that's so
vital."

Turning towards him, she glared at him full force.  "Doctor, I have no
desire to discuss this matter.  Please leave."

"Seven, you're upset and need to talk."

She stalked off across the room to another console.

"Whether this is true or not, you need to-"

"Go away!" she insisted harshly, her hands braced against the front
edge of the station.

For once, the EMH backed off when he was told to.  But not without a
final comment.  "I'm going to get truth about this then I'll be back
to talk."

Seven did not relax even after she heard the door close behind him.

She waited in Astrometrics for a long time that night, unconsciously
hoping the hologram would return with good news for her, tell her it
all was a misunderstanding, only he never returned.  Finally, she
asked the computer for his location and found it to be Sickbay.  She
leapt to the conclusion he had received confirmation of the story from
Lieutenant Torres and was too stunned to face her so she finished her
work then headed to her alcove for regeneration.

---

Even though she had already known she was to blame for Tom's leaving, 
B'Elanna still was hit hard by Naomi's accusations.  'How could you 
defend yourself against the truth?' she asked herself, curling up in 
the corner of her quarters' couch.  Part of her had wanted to deny 
what Naomi said, to blurt out she and Harry were not having an affair, 
they had only kissed.  Once.  Briefly. Okay, not so briefly.

She had been mad at Tom, mad that thanks to the ill-fated parole test
she now know knew he had no intention of remaining with her after they
reached the Alpha Quadrant.  At the time, she had not known the reason
for it was his fear of The Protectors and what they would do to him if
they caught him.  All she had known was he had lied to her when he had
told her he had something to do then he would find her and they would
be together again.  Naturally, she had assumed he meant in this
lifetime, not the next, for he meant to kill himself so The Protectors
would not know he had been Awake and might have let something slip
about the AlphaOmegans.

So, the morning Harry had asked her go on shoreleave with him, and
Chakotay had assured her assent by ordering her to go she had not been
in the best of moods.  Throughout their time on the planet, Harry had
done his best to ensure she had had a good time.  They toured the
museums and the market place.  She almost had been willing to have a
good time until they had seen a couple who reminded her of herself and
Tom in happier times.  The fragile good mood he had been easing her
into had been shattered. Though they had taken their picnic lunch to a
beautiful park where she could soak up the sunshine, she had not
enjoyed it.

Then Harry had started to lose his temper.  He had gone on about how
frustrating she and Tom were and how she needed to talk to Tom because
she was taking her anger out on her staff, not Tom who might or might
not be the more deserving target.  Harry had nagged at her about
reading Chakotay's complete report of the parole test, especially the
letter Tom had given the Commander to be passed on to her only after
they were safely away from Voyager.  That was when things had begun to
go horribly wrong.

She had made an innocent joke about why could she not have fallen for
someone like Harry, instead of someone like the high-strung,
secretive, and emotional Tom?  Harry had grinned and told her why Tom
was her perfect match and she ultimately had agreed to see Tuvok about
gaining access to the parole test files so she could see the truth for
herself.  With that decision made, she had smiled for the first time
in days and done something she now saw as probably the stupidest thing
she ever had done in her life -- she gave in to impulse and kissed
Harry out of gratitude.  Only it had not stayed a chaste peck on the
lips. Lips had parted.  Tongues had become involved.

"And that mistake had been seen by the biggest gossip on the ship and
her then lover," she groaned to herself.  "But why is it coming out
just now?  She's never really liked me.  Doubtful she'd give up the
chance of spreading something this juicy about me."

The door chimed and she buried her face in the couch back.  She could
almost guess who it would be and she really did not want to face him
right now.

He, of course, had other ideas.  Without waiting for permission that
he had guessed was not coming, Harry walked in and stopped half way
between her and the door.  "That was what you wanted to talk to me
about, wasn't it?" he asked sadly.  "That we had been seen that day
and Geron had told Tom?"

She was silent for a moment then lifted her head, but did not look at
him.  "I didn't know about that," she sighed.  B'Elanna rose from the
couch and went to her desk.  Opening a drawer, she withdrew Tom's
padd, stared at it for a long time then held it at arms' length for
him to take.  "When Tom left, he left this for me.  Apparently, he was
in Engineering at some point and I was too tired and too busy to even
realize he was there."  She shook her head.  "I vaguely remember
someone giving me a padd, but not that it was him.  We were so busy
right then.  I didn't even look up to see who it was.  And I certainly
didn't have the time to read it.  If I had...."

Harry scanned the brief message then his shoulders slumped.  "So
thanks to Geron, Tom now thinks we've been madly in love all this time
and denying ourselves because he was in still in the picture and we
didn't want to hurt him?"

She nodded and sat heavily in her desk chair.

"If only I hadn't been sleeping," Harry groaned.  "I would have been
on the Bridge when he left.  I would have seen something strange was
going on and stopped him from going."

In an uncharacteristic display of temper, he threw the padd at the far
wall.  It hit one of the pieces of artwork she had hanging there and
both fell to the deck with a clatter.  "Why the Hell did we listen to
Chakotay and the Captain when they told us not to tell Tom what we'd
done?  That it would only confuse things and hurt him?  If we'd told
him what happened right after it happened or after Tuvok returned to
his own body, this probably wouldn't have happened."

B'Elanna went over to the clutter on the floor to scoop up the padd
and check it for damage.  Even in his anger, Harry was noticed how she
clutched the device to her chest almost like it was a child and his
frustration with their situation dissipated and sadness crept in to
take its place.  If they could not get to Tom or at least contact him,
those heartrending words in his note would be the last she ever would
hear from the man she loved.

Attempting to comfort her, he approached her then reached out to touch
her shoulder, only to have her shy away.  The hand dropped back to his
side.

"So how do we get him back so we can explain?" he asked slowly, re-
hanging her painting.

She carefully returned the padd to its drawer.  "Some of us worked out
a plan.  I presented Janeway with it this morning just before we went
after Maire's shuttle."  She filled him in on what had happened in the
Ready Room and he agreed with her interpretation of Janeway's
intentions.

"So now what?"

"I don't know.  Tuvok's trying to change the Captain's mind."  She
swallowed heavily.  "You know, when I read Tom's message, I couldn't
figure out who'd told him.  I thought there were only four of us who
knew what happened and I ruled out Janeway as the one who told him.
So... so only a couple of hours ago, I actually accused Chakotay of
doing it."

"I wouldn't have put it passed him."

"But I also thought there was a slim chance that maybe it was you."

He blanched.  "Me?  You thought I did this?"

"We'll you were mad at Tom and trying to hurt him.  Telling him this
certainly classified as doing that."

"That's why at lunch Joe was asking me why I volunteered to go to
Rachar after Tom, wasn't it?  He was sounding me out, trying to
determine if I was the one who told Tom?"

She nodded and dropped her eyes.  Now that she had seen Harry's
reaction to all this, she knew he had not done anything of the sort
and was ashamed she ever had suspected him of anything so horrible.

"B'Elanna, I went after him because I wanted to tell him I finally
understood why Souris felt she had to die and how unfair I was being
to him.  I don't exactly *forgive* him, but I do *understand* him. 
When the P'Chi had me convinced I might be dying, I did a lot of
thinking. I realized I didn't want to die hating my best friend.  I
thought about everything and saw I was being unfair to him.  I badly
wanted to tell him that before I died.  Only I wasn't dying and the
next time I saw him, I didn't recognize him because he was disguised
as a Rachar.  Then we thought he was dead.  Then we thought maybe he
wasn't and Tuvok, Neelix, the Doctor, and I went to go find out."

He closed his eyes.  "Then we get to Rachar and find him alive, but
all Hell's breaking loose and we had to abandon so many Rachar and all
the Gherop.  I... Tom was so calm about it all.  It just... It made me
see he really was an AlphaOmegan.  Before then, it was merely a
concept, but after that, it wasn't anymore.  All of us, even Tuvok and
Sunfire I think, were shaken at having to sacrifice so many so some
might live. And the idea of deliberately excluding the Gherop from
being among the saved, even after all they'd done... It was hard for
me to handle and I wasn't the one making the decisions.  Tom was and
it didn't seem to phase him in the least."

"But it did phase you," she whispered.  "That's why you were so
withdrawn.  You couldn't handle the guilt."

Harry nodded.  "Then Tom left before I could come to terms with it all
and talk to him."  He ran his hands through his hair.  "And like him,
everyone else really is getting the wrong end of the stick if they
listen to the version Naomi broadcast in the Mess Hall.  Should we
make some sort of statement telling everyone the truth?  I don't know
if they'll believe it though.  Jenny Delaney certainly won't if the
look on her face after you left the Mess Hall is anything to go by. 
The others might.  To a degree.  *If* we explain right away, we might
be able to prevent their imaginations from getting away from them and
blowing it all even further out of proportion."

Her gaze turned less than friendly.  "What are you suggesting?  A
general announcement over the Comm?  Both of us stand up in the Mess
Hall at breakfast and deny everything?"

"I don't know.  Maybe Neelix could discretely spread the truth.
Usually there isn't anyone on board he doesn't see in the course of
the day.  And he is the best at spreading rumours on the ship."

"And you want him to say what?  None of it's true?  It's all a big
misunderstanding?  Obviously Jenny Delaney and Nozawa can contradict
that."

"Not deny, no.  Well, the *affair* part, yes, but if what really
happened were to become common knowledge...."

The glare she gave him left no doubt as to her opinion on this
subject.

"There's something else you should know.  I would have been here
fifteen minutes ago only I had a run in with two crewman in the
turbolift."  He outlined the confrontation and his response.  And
Tuvok's.

"I can't believe you did that," B'Elanna groaned.  "What did you think
you were doing?"

"I didn't *think* anything."

"Obviously."

"They were *congratulating* me, B'Elanna.  For having *bagged* you,"
he clarified, using their actual terminology.  Harry caught her before
she could storm out and take up where he had left off with the two
crewmen.  "B'Elanna, do you want to end up on report too?  Do you?
Beating them to a pulp won't change their or anyone else's opinion of
what our relationship is.  If anything, it will make things worse.
Does the phrase 'the lady doth protest too much' mean anything to you?
I can almost guarantee it will to the others."

She practically went limp as his words sunk in and he guided her over
to sit in a chair.  He himself sat on the coffee table in front of
her, his hands over hers on her knees.  "What are we going to do,
Harry?" she whispered.

"I don't know, but I do know beating them up will get you put on
report and mean you'll have to listen to Tuvok lecture you on Senior
Officers having to be an example to the juniors at all times."

"You didn't tell him why you did it?"

"No, I left it at it being a personal matter.  The other two were
still unconscious so I don't know what they'll say when they wake up
and he asks them for statements.  I doubt they'll be stupid enough to
admit they were taunting me."

She nodded, tiredly.

"B'Elanna, I know you don't like your privacy being invaded, but you
have to admit, having this false story out there is worse than the
truth.  What happened with them is only going to be the beginning.  It
would be better to tell the truth.  So we kissed each other, so what?"

"The 'so what' is Jenny Delaney and Nozawa saw us and told Geron who
told Tom and now Tom's run off because he believes this garbage!  Who
cares what they think?  It's Tom I'm worried about.  You know how he
gets when he's hurt.  And no one can tell me this would not hurt him
because I know it has."

"I know," he sighed.  "But if we do get him back, he's still going to
be hurt.  Even if we weren't actually having an affair, we still did-"

"We'll have to make it up to him somehow!  But we can't do that until
we get him back."

Harry squeezed her hands.  "We'll get Tom back, B'Elanna.  Somehow,
we'll get him back."

Though she indicated her agreement, inside she did not feel the same
certainty.

The door chimed and unthinkingly, B'Elanna bid whomever it was to
enter while Harry still had his hands on hers.  This contact between
the two friends could be construed one of two ways: the innocent,
supportive gesture it was or the way Megan did when she stepped inside
-- as the precursor to more intimate gestures between lovers.  She
stood there, so angry she could not speak, her hands balled up into
fists at her sides.

"I didn't want to believe what Jenny said," she ultimately spat out. 
"It just didn't make any sense.  But now I see she *was* right for
once."

Hands dropping B'Elanna's, Harry rose and took a step towards Megan. 
"She wasn't right," he declared in an angry voice.  "There's no
affair."

"Right."  Her tone indicated she clearly did not believe them.  She
glared at B'Elanna.  "Are you in love with Harry or Tom or neither?"

"Tom," the other woman confessed.

Her gaze did not soften.

"Megan, you know me," Harry tried.  "Would I do that to Tom?  Would
B'Elanna?"

At length, Tom's mate and their best friend told her everything from
that kiss on shoreleave to the incident in the Mess Hall.  When they
finished, Megan stared at them long and hard then drew out a chair at
the dining table and dropped into it.

"You ever going to do something this stupid again?" she asked the pair

"No," they said in unison.

"Good.  'Cause if you do I'll make your life a living Hell."  She
slumped back in the chair, arms at her sides, head falling back, eyes
closed.  "Damn, this complicates things," she groaned.

Nodding in agreement, the other two joined her in seats at the table.

"Especially when Chakotay finds out about this."  B'Elanna recounted
her many confrontations with the Commander over Tom as of late and
Joe's own report of his with Chakotay only hours ago.  "And you saw
him at the meeting, Harry."

Harry explained for Megan, who naturally had not been at the Senior
Staff meeting.  "He was rather gung ho about Maire Molloy's suggestion
Voyager remain at New Kildare while we complete the work we have to do
on her so we can use the Gopher Hole."

"Because it would mean we would be even farther from New Rachar and
almost all of us behind the request to go there would have to stay
with Voyager to do the work on her."

Megan shook her head.  "I think we should have gone with my first
suggestion and hijacked Voyager."

"That was your second suggestion," B'Elanna corrected, "and it
wouldn't have worked.  Tuvok wouldn't stand for it.  He's insisting we
do this properly.  He's trying to talk Janeway around to our way of
thinking, but that was before the staff meeting and either he hasn't
started yet or it's not working because she was a reserved as ever and
gave her agreement to the idea, provided Maire's people agree.  So
we're stuck going to New Kildare."

"What if we made the sensors say we were going one way when we're
actually going another?  Harry, you're with us now, I take it?"

He nodded.

"Okay, say we tamper with the sensors and have everyone except our
people think we're headed for New Kildare, but in reality were on our
way to New Rachar."

Harry shook his head.  "New Kildare's only a few more hours from here.
New Rachar's a few days.  They'd notice the delay."

"So we have the Doctor gas the Captain and Commander the next time
they're alone together somewhere and claim they're confined to Sickbay
because of some sort of illness they picked up.  Tuvok becomes Captain
in their absence and you First Officer, B'Elanna.  We make up some
story about how, for the safety of the New Kildareans, we can't have
direct contact with anyone from off of the ship for... however many
days it takes to get to New Rachar anyway.  So, since we all might
have what the Captain and Commander have, we should be quarantined,
just in case while it runs it's course.  Since we can't go to New
Kildare in the interim, Tuvok orders Baytart to set course for New
Rachar to get Tom *then* come back to New Kildare.  Simple and
Chakotay and Janeway never have to know it's not true."

"Tuvok would never go for it.  And if Chakotay ever found out... He's
in the mood to come down hard on anyone who even mentions Tom's name.
If he discovered it was all a lie, he'd throw us in the Brig and
forget about us."

"What's his problem, anyway?" Harry asked.  "It's like he'd gladly
space Tom if he could."

The door chimed yet again and B'Elanna rose to answer it.  "I don't
know, but I can tell he's going to love hearing about this mixed up
mess we're in now.  Come."

Tuvok, Carey, and Vorik stood on the other side of the door, having
met up in the corridor moments earlier and mutually decided to get the
real story from the horses' mouths.

"There's no affair, boys," Megan called to them before B'Elanna could
say a word.  "But there may be a mutiny.  Come on in."

As the males did, Tuvok regarded Ensign Kim with an inquiring look. 
"Miss Wildman's accusations are the reason behind your recent
altercation in the turbolift?"

"You fought with Naomi?" Joe gasped.

"That's a somewhat unfair match-up, Mr. Kim," Vorik chimed in.

"Not me and Naomi," Harry grimaced.  "Two crewmen who were insulting
B'Elanna when they thought they were congratulating me on stealing her
from Tom."

"I wish you had explained, Ensign," Tuvok admonished.  "I would not
have been so harsh with you."

Harry nodded and stared at the table.

Everyone else lapsed into thought also.

Megan broke the quiet by returning to B'Elanna's last remark before
the three had joined them.  "You're right, B'Elanna.  Once Chakotay
hears of what Naomi said, he'll repeat every word to the Captain to
undermine us and she'll go along with him."

"Perhaps not," Tuvok countered and told them not the specifics of his
talk with the Captain, but of the fact he had made her think a little
and open up slightly so she might not be so totally under Chakotay's
influence as they were beginning to suspect.

---

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Share what you know. Learn what
you don't.

"Why won't you go get Tommy?" Naomi shouted at the Captain the moment 
she answered her quarter's door.

Janeway blinked at the unexpected onslaught from the child who
normally was so sweet and respectful to her.  "Naomi?"

The girl stomped inside and crossed her arms over her slight chest,
glaring at the woman.  "You heard me!  I don't want to go to wherever
this lady is from.  I want to go see Tommy!"

Moving forward, the Captain then squatted down next to her.  "Naomi,
you don't understand.  We-"

"No, you don't understand!  He didn't want to go!  Mommy says I
shouldn't listen to what Crewmen Ver and Geron are saying, that they
probably aren't having an affair, but I don't believe her."

Auburn brows nearly disappeared in her hairline.  "Crewmen Ver and
Geron are having an affair?"

"No!  Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim.  Mommy says we should ask them
if they are then we'll know for sure if that's really why Tommy left,
but I don't care if it is or not.  I just want Tommy back!"

Knowing she would fall over if she stayed crouched as she was, Janeway
sat down on the deck, shaking her head, hoping everything Naomi had
said would fall into place to make a coherent narrative.  "You're
saying Ver and Geron told you B'Elanna and Harry are having an affair
and that is why he left?"

"They didn't *tell* me.  I overheard it when they didn't know I was
there.  People always seem to overlook me," she said more as a sad
observation to herself than to Janeway.

"I don't... They wouldn't..."

Naomi took a hold of the woman's shoulder and shook it.  "Captain!"

"Huh?"

"I want to go get Tommy!"

Janeway gathered enough of her wits about her to stand.  "I have to go
find out about this," she muttered and stumbled out.

Forgotten, Naomi let out a primal scream and stomped out of the
quarters.  'If the adults aren't going to listen to me,' she grumbled,
'I'll just have to do it myself.'

---

'A nine-months-pregnant woman should not get angry' was LaKeysha's new
mantra as she briskly waddled down the corridor to her and Ver's
quarters.  'She must be serene and peaceful at all times or risk her
mood adversely affecting the baby.'  She repeated this over and over
until she entered the quarters and found him just getting ready for
his shift.

"There you are," he smiled.

Her mantra flew right out of her head.  "You had better tell me this
is all a big misunderstanding, Ver Faran, and you had better tell me
that now!"

The big Bajoran frowned.  "What is?"

She filled him in on everything the grapevine had told her and he
tried to act nonchalant about it.

"So?"

"You overheard Joe Carey and I talking the other day, didn't you?  You
knew it was a private conversation, that we did not want it leaving
these quarters and you repeated it anyway."

"So what if I did?  I didn't know the Wildman kid was there and heard.
And who cares if she did and blurted it out?  Now it's all out in the
open and the ones who keep wasting their time thinking up ways to get
*him* back can finally give it up and get their minds back on what's
important -- getting us ready to go home."

"You... You..." The name she finally called the father of her child
was the most profane thing she could think of.  And considering she
had grown up in a mining colony with her father, four older brothers,
seven cousins, their fathers, and few females around that was rather
coarse.

Ver, who had never heard her use such language, let alone towards him,
was stunned into silence.

"I want you out of here immediately!"

"What?" he spluttered.

"You heard me.  Pack your things and get out.  After what you pulled
and what you've said here, I can't trust you and I certainly don't
want you here."

"But the baby-"

"And I will be just fine.  Better even.  Now get moving."

"LaKeysha-"

"Do I have to call Security?  I will if I have to."

He tried reasoning with her.  He tried sweet-talking her.  He tried
using the imminent arrival of their child.  Nothing changed her mind
or even made her waffle in the slightest.  After twenty minutes, he
judged a strategic retreat until she calmed down a little was best. 
He figured by the time his shift was over, she would have seen sense
and welcome him back with open arms and apologies so he would not
really need to pack much.  Just enough to make it look like he was
complying with her wishes.  Ver slung the small bag over his shoulder
and gave her one last, pleading look.  He would have achieved better
results if he had directed it towards the nearest bulkhead for all the
good it did him.  Sighing for effect, he slowly walked out, telling
her he loved her and the baby as he did.

LaKeysha immediately set to striping the bed and erasing all evidence
of his presence.

---

'Had B'Elanna lied to him?' Chakotay wondered.  'Was it possible these
two were telling the truth and Torres and Kim actually *were* having
an affair and it was the real motivating factor for this obsession of
hers to get to Paris?'

Within an hour and a half of Naomi's "explosion" in the Mess Hall,
everyone aboard Voyager had heard some version of the story.  Or
overheard in the case of Chakotay, who had been walking down a
corridor a couple of paces behind a crewwoman who was telling her
friend about it.  He had rolled the thought around in his mind along
with the larger implications it would have on matters if true then
headed straight for the Captain's quarters to tell her.

Only he literally ran into her before he made it that far.  He rounded
a corner and collided with her, their hands automatically grabbing a
hold of one another so they did not fall.  As they regained their
balance, he looked at her.  She appeared to once more be a woman with
too much weight on her shoulders.  'Well,' he thought, 'at least I can
take some of that weight from her.'

"Kathryn, I was just coming to see you.  I just heard something that I
don't know how you're going to react to, but you need to know.  Can we
go back to your quarters?"

Not meeting his gaze, she pulled away from his hands and started off
down the corridor again -- away from her quarters.  "I don't have
time, Commander.  I have to go see someone."

Chakotay hurried along after her and fell into step with her. 
"Kathryn, it's important."

"So's this," she insisted.

He glanced around to see they were alone then started to repeat what
he had heard regarding Harry and B'Elanna.  "Earlier today I was
talking to B'Elanna," he wrapped up, "and she accused *me* of being
the one who told Paris what Geron apparently did.  I saw a message
Paris left for her.  He claims he left so the two of them would be
free to be together."

She stopped and turned on him.  "I already knew all that.  Naomi told
me herself not five minutes ago.  And not the convoluted version I
just heard you tell me either.  Tom apparently did not catch them in
the act.  He did not have a huge fight with them.  None of that."

"So some of the details were a bit wrong, but the basic idea is there.
Kathryn, you should be happy about this."  Smiling, he laid his hands
on her shoulders.  "Now you know it wasn't really all because you
refused his request that he left."

Pushing the hands away, she stepped back.  "Tuvok's right.  You *are*
trying to poison me against him."

"What?"

"You don't want Tom back and you're making damned sure I don't
either."

"Kathryn, I'm not trying to *poison* anyone.  What I'm trying to do is
tell you that you don't have to feel guilty anymore.  He did leave
because he wanted."

"He *wanted* B'Elanna, that's what he *wanted*, but he thought Harry
had her and they were lying to him.  That is why he left, Commander,
that and because I refuse to break the Prime Directive and help him."

"Kathryn-"

She shook her head and cut the air with her hands.  "No.  I don't want
to hear anymore of this from you.  I'm tired of you constantly-"

"Bridge to Janeway," a male voice called over the comm.

"Go ahead, Hamilton."

"Captain, I think you should go to Shuttlebay One.  There's a
situation there that... well, Captain, I think you should go."

"What is going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I tried to tell you, Ma'am.  We don't even
believe it ourselves, frankly."

Sensing she was not going to get anything further from him, she closed
the connection and glared once more at the Commander then left.

Even though he knew he would not be welcome, Chakotay followed anyway.

--

A frazzled Sam Wildman, the two security officers who had responded to
the alert, and the shuttlebay technician who had issued it all
breathed a sigh of relief as the Captain and Commander strode into the
shuttlebay with Neelix a few paces behind them.  The two senior
officers were at a loss to explain what the problem was, but Neelix
cleared it up.

"She's still in there?" he asked Sam.

When he was close enough, she nodded and leaned into him as he placed
an arm around her.

"She who?" Janeway asked, looking from the two of them to the small
shuttle the security officers and the technician were staring at.

"Naomi's in there," the mother explained.

"In where?  The shuttle?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Sam shook her head indicating she did not know why.

"According to the internal sensors, she came in a couple of minutes
ago, Captain," the technician piped up.  "I was next door doing some
work when alarms started going off and the Bridge contacted me wanting
to know what was going on."

Janeway nodded.  "And?"

The doors opened and Maire walked in to join them.

"And I guess Naomi just walked in and boarded one of the shuttles then
tried to take off in her.  Since I was next door, there was no one to
stop her.  There's never been any need to guard the shuttlebay unless
there was a yellow or red alert, Captain.  Besides, she's come in here
before with Mr. Paris and knows she's not to be in here unless she's
with an adult.  I heard Mr. Paris tell her that quite a few times.
He'd sometimes take her out with him if he was going on some simple
flights, you know.  The zero risk ones.  Always with permission he
told me."

She nodded.  "He always had her mother's and my permission.  So when
you came back in here, what happened?"

"Well, I looked around and saw no one then started checking the
shuttles and found Naomi was in this one and somehow had jammed the
door so I couldn't trigger the manual release.  I was trying to
override it all of you started showing up."

"Why don't you just beam her out of there?" Chakotay's tone suggested
this was the logical course of action and he was stunned they had not
thought of it.

They had actually and dismissed it.

"Sam's been trying to reason with her, Commander," Neelix informed
him.  "Naomi is very upset.  Has been for days.  If we were to drag
her out of there, she would resent it and it would only increase her
anger at us."

"I've been trying to talk her out," Sam whispered, "but she won't
listen to me.  She won't even talk to me."

"Captain," Maire interrupted as Janeway was lifting her hand to her
combadge to contact the child herself, "perhaps I might be permitted
to talk to her?"

In surprise, everyone turned to the New Kildarean who was approaching.

"I was on the Bridge, speaking with one of the engineers when this all
began.  I think I might be able to talk her out."

Sam frowned.  "But you don't even know my daughter."

"No, Ensign Wildman, I do not, but I am aware of what she and many
others on this ship want and am part of the reason why they are not
getting it.  Your taking me home is putting more and more distance
between them and this Mr. Paris."

"Then your talking to her only would make things worse."

She smiled mysteriously.  "Not necessarily.  I have a knack for
getting people to talk.  Ask Mr. Chakotay.  He noticed when I talked
to you, Captain.  Trust me.  It's not like it could do any harm.  Look
at where she is and what she's doing?  It can't get any worse.  A
third party who's not so involved in all this or, in my case, is
involved through no fault of their own."

The Captain, Sam, and Neelix considered this then consented.

-------

---

Naomi was frustrated.  Tommy had shown her a lot of things with
shuttles.  How to pilot one -- even let her do it on a real one a few
times, not just in a simulated one on the holodeck.  How to open the
shuttlebay doors.  How to lock the hatch so no one could get in unless
she let them in.  These and other things he had taught her all were
meant to prepare her in case someone tried to take over the ship and
she had to save herself without any help from anyone else.  He had not
yet taught her how to override the controls the others had
deactivated.  So she was stuck inside with nowhere to go but outside
to face her mother, Neelix, the Captain, and the others and she did
not want to.  She figured staying in here, alone, was better than
that.

The transporter behind her activated and a woman materialized.  Since
she was unfamiliar that meant this woman could only be one person.

"Hello, Naomi.  I'm Maire Molloy," the woman introduced, confirming
Naomi's suspicions.  "You can call me Maire, if you like."

"I don't like," she said petulantly and grabbed the console to her
left then yanked the pilot's seat back towards the Helm.

Maire sunk into the co-pilot's chair.  "I don't blame you," she
sighed.  "Were I in your position, I wouldn't either."

There was silence for a while then Maire spoke again.

"You know how to fly, hmm?"

"Some.  Tommy taught me."

"And you wanted to go flying right now?  Why?"

"They won't go get Tommy."

"So you were going to?  That's very brave, going off all by yourself
to get him."

Naomi did not comment.

"There's only one problem with your plan."  She jerked a thumb towards
the one side of the shuttle.  "Well, apart from the ones they'll tell
you are the problems with your plan.  Only they don't know about this
problem."

Naomi cocked her head in her direction, interested despite her desire
not to be.  "What?"

The child's eyes grew very large and she nearly stopped breathing when
the woman explained the problem.

"Only you can't tell them," Maire insisted, meaning the adults
outside.

"Why not?"

This too was carefully explained and the little girl thought about the
reasoning.

"You're right.  They can't be told yet."

Maire nodded, leaning back in her seat.  "Now that all that is
straightened out, leanaban, what are we going to do about this mess
you've gotten yourself into?"

"What's a..."

"Leanaban?  A child.  You."

"Oh.  They're going to be mad, aren't they?"

"*Going* to be mad?  Try *are*."

"Oh."

"But they're more *concerned* about you than they are *mad*.  You're
going to be punished somehow, Naomi.  There's no escaping that."

The child nodded, resigned.

Maire smiled sympathetically and held out her arms.  "Come here,
leanaban."

Naomi went for the hug.

"Well, you ready to face the music now?"

There was a nod in response.  Maire released her so they both could
stand and a little hand slipped into hers as they proceeded to the
hatchway.

---

Sunfire did not wake Tom the instant they entered the Gherop
Homeworld's system.  He finally had fallen asleep after staring at
Naomi's drawing, thinking, for over an hour and she was reluctant to
wake him just yet.  If his plans went as he hoped, there would be no
sleep for him for the foreseeable future.  So she let him sleep as she
went about her duties, amassing intelligence and condensing it into a
report for him.

Even with the beginning of R'Co's Ceremony still a few days away,
there already were a large number of ships docked at the enormous
platform in orbit of the Gherop Homeworld and even more on landing
fields on the planet.  The still-cloaked Sunfire dutifully scanned and
catalogued each one then tapped into their ship's computers and
downloaded their information before moving on to read the computer
network on the planet.  Along the way there, they had hacked into the
information systems of the various outposts and settlements they had
found as they travelled here so much of the information she now
gathered was repetitive.  Some of it, like R'Co's current location and
the exact details of the official and the *unofficial* security
surrounding her were new.

As was the news that not all of the Rachar were dead after all.  There
were a few crewing Gherop ships.  She mulled over telling Tom this.
If he were to find out M'Nea Madeleine had others of her kind out
there, he might feel obligated to free the others too and give her to
them to raise.  Freeing them would place him in even more danger and
he was so attached to the child now that giving her up would cause him
even more pain.

She weighed her options.  Be honest, tell him about the Rachar, and
let whatever happened happen or lie to him for his own good and let
him keep the little girl he loved as his own.  It was no contest.  She
deleted the information from the Gherop database she was creating and
woke her companion.

"We're here," she told him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
"I've learned nothing new about T'Do's replacement.  R'Co seems
contented with the status quo.  She's not interested in changing
anything.  In fact, given what I've found on her in their private
files, the only thing she is interested in is herself.  Her needs, her
wants, her desires."

"Just great," he grimaced, shedding his clothing and walking to the
shower.  "Heavens forbid this be easy.  Where is she?"

"In her bedchamber.  Alone.  Security's not bad, but we've seen far
better."

"Security measures?"

"Guards stationed in the hall outside her room.  Sensors on the doors,
windows, and ventilation system but nothing monitoring her
personally."

"Good.  Rest of the report?"

As he showered and shaved, she filled him in on the highlights of the
information she had gathered.  None of it appeared to contradict any
of his plans, and they were both grateful for that.  He because he did
not want to have to rethink his plan.  She because she was worried if
he did have to rethink things he might just return to his original
plan of destroying the planet, regardless of what Camet and the others
said.

Tom stepped back into the room and headed for the chest of drawers in
the wall.  From the drawers, he extracted the clothing he had sworn he
never would wear again.  In a matter of minutes, AlphaOmegan 41783 was
back in full uniform and ready to go to work.

---

"Where are those slaves?" R'Co muttered to herself, rubbing the spot
where she thought an insect had just bit on her neck.  "All they had
to do was go to the kitchens and bring back my bedtime snack.  It
could not possibly take this long."

She rearranged her nightgown to further emphasize her "charms."
Living here under such heavy guard and scrutiny the passed few
intervals had made it impossible for her to sneak out and see her
latest lover and the sexual frustration was getting to her.  But two
of the male slaves had caught her eye that morning.  Not quite as
handsome as her current lover, but they were attractive in an exotic
sort of way and she never had had any of their species before.  A
discrete word with T'Ne had had them reassigned to her bedchamber and
by morning her frustrations would be eased considerably.

If the slaves survived that long.  Tonight she was in the mood to be
the aggressor instead of the submissive she most often was and that,
coupled with her recent enforced abstinence meant she had a lot of
aggression from which she could draw.  Too much really, she knew.
Years of playing sub/dom games with her long succession of lovers had
taught her when to draw the line, when "play" no longer was safe and
had moved into the dangerous territory and lives were at stake.  R'Co
loved to flirt with that line both as the one in the mortal danger and
the one responsible for putting someone there.  In fact, it was
becoming increasingly the case that unless her lover brought her right
up to that line, she did not receive any pleasure from the encounter.
As of late, she had found even this danger had begun to pall.  She
found herself having dark fantasies about things that could never come
true now that she was to be Leader.  She had to make a choice -- being
Leader versus fulfilling her own ultimate sexual fantasy.  There was
no way she could have both no matter how much she wished.  But perhaps
she could have the flip side of it.  What were slaves if not for using
however she saw fit?  Who cared what she did with them?  There always
were more where they came from.

She yawned broadly.  If only she did not fall asleep before they
arrived.  She could not understand why she was so sleepy all of a
sudden.  True, it had been quite the taxing day for her.  Planning the
celebrations for her Ceremony.  Trying on the different outfits she
planned to wear at various times during the festivities.  Looking over
the gifts that were arriving as tribute to the new Leader.  'And there
was dealing with that idiot T'Ne,' she grumbled to herself.  She had
kept him on in his position only because she needed a liaison between
the old and new leaderships and he was knowledgeable about how things
were done, but once she was Leader, he would be the first to go.
Perhaps N'Tra could take his place.  She was simple and unassuming.
It would be easy to control her and N'Tra certainly would not
challenge her as T'Ne constantly did in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Another yawn escaped her and her lids began to fall.  Perhaps a little
nap while she waited was in order.  Would not want to be too tired to
enjoy her slaves when they finally returned.  Seconds later, she was
in a deep sleep and never felt the transporter beam take a hold of her
and the cloaked man responsible for inflicting the "insect bite" upon
her neck.

---

"Isn't she a beauty?" Sunfire asked sarcastically as Tom undressed
R'Co and laid her on the biobed.

"Just lovely.  Vitals?"

"Stable.  She should be out for quite a few hours."

"Good.  I'd best get started.  You finished?"

"Yes.  They are well and truly 'bugged', Sunbird."

"Good.  Let's just hope this doesn't take so long that someone detects
the transmissions and checks things out."

"They will look like simple cosmic noise.  Nothing to worry about.
With all these ships in orbit, it'll take them days to eliminate them
as the cause and days more to figure out it is a transmission in the
first place."

"I know, but..."

"But we usually did this with more personnel so interference could be
run if and when those being monitored figured out they were being
monitored."

"Exactly.  You'd best get us to our destination."

"Aye, sir."

After readjusting his personal cloak to a frequency that would not
interfere with the instruments he planned to use, he moved the
instrument tray over to the biobed and set to work.  Had his patient
awoke just then, she would have been horrified to see medical
instruments moving through the air all by themselves.

---

Geron Tem was receiving strange looks from the crew he passed as he
tiredly "dragged" himself back to his quarters only minutes before the
start of Alpha shift the next morning.  Or he would have "received"
them had he been awake enough to register them.  Since returning from
his late lunch with Megan the previous afternoon, he had been closeted
in a cargo bay inventorying then transporting everything stored there
to empty spaces in other cargo bays and storage rooms all over the
ship.  He was not sure why this had to be done, something to do with
the upcoming modifications, but he and two colleagues had been told to
do it and get it done ASAP. With three of them on the job, it should
have taken them only a couple of hours.

That estimate had been made before the other two had come down sick
thanks to the Bolian brownies they had eaten at a small party in
Golwat's quarters at lunch.  Two ensigns, on their way to their
quarters farther along the corridor, had taken the two crewmen to
Sickbay for him so he could continue his work.  One of the good
Samaritans had returned not twenty minutes later to tell him he was on
his own for the rest of the shift as the Doctor was keeping his co-
workers and the rest of Golwat's party guests in Sickbay for
observation.  'Bad leola root flour,' the ensign had muttered.  'I
thought it couldn't go bad.  Well, it always tastes like it has, but
still....'  As Geron had tried to ask him about getting help for his
work, the superior officer wandered out, muttering to himself about
the EMH being more peevish than usual and having had the effrontery to
be annoyed by the prospect of having to actually do his job.  'He's
the Doctor.  He's supposed to be ministering the crew's medical needs.
What the Hell could have been so important that he had been out of
Sickbay when he was needed and had to be called back.  He's a
hologram.  Who could he be "needing to talk to" so badly?'

So Geron had consulted the Computer, found everyone he knew and might
help him were on duty or asleep, and took this to be a penance from
the Prophets for his misdeeds.  He ceased looking for someone to help
him and spent the rest that shift and the night working alone to
finish his task.  Now he was heading for his quarters for a long
shower and even longer sleep since he did not have to report for duty
until Beta shift.  The people he passed stared at him and whispered as
he walked by, though he with his eyes nearly closed did not notice.

However he did notice Megan sitting in the middle of his couch when he
entered his quarters.  "Megan?" he yawned, going to his bed to use it
to lean against as he toed off his boots.  "Shouldn't you be going on
duty?  Not that it's not nice to see you."

"Is it?"

'Maybe I'll just sleep first,' Geron muzzily thought and dropped his
uniform jacket to the deck and let his pants slither to his feet.
'Then I'll shower when I wake up.'

"Is it nice to see me, Tem?" Megan pressed.  "Is it nice to look me in
the face and know what you've done?"

'Forget pajamas,' he decided, discarding his grey turtleneck.  'My
underw-' Geron forced his eyes open and to Megan as what she was
saying sunk in.  "Huh?"

"I know, Tem," she informed him in a calm voice, never moving a
millimetre off of the couch.  "I know everything."

"Oh good," he nodded, exhaustion swamping him again.

"Yes, everything, Tem.  You.  Tom.  Torres.  Kim.  Me.  Everything."

"Hmm?"

"I know you told Tom about Kim and Torres after I explicitly told you,
Jenny, and Nozawa not to.  I know it really was because of what you
told him that he left."

By the time she had finished, his fatigue had vanished.  "Megan, I-"

"Spare me, Tem.  You said all that to him, wanting to hurt him because
you thought *I* was in love with him.  Is your faith in me and my love
for you that slight?"

"Well, you were-"

She sprang from the couch.  "It is!  Well, if you think so little of
it and me, I'll just remove myself from your life.  Not that you'd
notice."

Megan ran out and Geron automatically tried to run after her, promptly
crashing to the deck.  Kicking his uniform trousers from their tangle
around his feet, he shoved himself up and stumbled after her, shouting
her name.

But she was nowhere in sight when he emerged from his quarters in his
boxers and tank top.  Her absence enraged him.  His appearance,
however, amused the people who were in the corridor, on their way to
their duty stations for Alpha Shift.  Ducking back inside, he shucked
off the last of his clothing, dashed to the bathroom for the fastest
sonic shower in history, then was dressing in a fresh clothing, all
with the plan to go off in search of Megan and explain everything.

Then he stopped.

'What are you going to "explain" to her?' he asked himself.  'You
*did* tell Paris what she had told you not to.  You *did* tell him
because you'd thought Megan loved him, not you, and you wanted to hurt
him. There's nothing left *to* explain.  She knows everything.'

He frowned.  'How does she know everything anyway?  You certainly
didn't tell her.  Unless it was in your sleep.  But then she would
have confronted you then and there, not waited until now.  And you
didn't tell anyone else.  Only the Prophets.  And they rarely talk
directly to their followers let alone a non-Bajoran, non-follower.
They couldn't have told her."

Puzzled, Tem sat down in her still-warm spot on the couch to think,
only to be interrupted by the door chime.  Hoping against hope it was
her, he jumped up and called in an exuberant voice for his visitor to
enter.  His smile faded when Ver Faran entered, a bag over his
shoulder.

"Nice to see you, too," Ver quipped.

"I was hoping it was Megan coming back."

Ver shook his head and dropped his back next to the couch.  "Don't
think that's going to happen, kid.  I just saw her down the corridor.
The look she gave me... Let's just say, in terms of animosity, it was
more than equal to the one LaKeysha gave me a few minutes ago when I
tried to go back home after she threw me out last night."

"LaKeysha threw you out?"

"Yep."  He sprawled on the couch.  "It's a good thing you and Megan
aren't sharing quarters or we'd both be looking for places to stay
until this mess blows over."

"What mess?  What's going on?"

"What do you mean 'what mess?  What's going on?'  You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Where have you been all night?"

"Stuck in a cargo bay doing the work of three people.  What happened?"

"The Wildman kid went crazy in the Mess Hall at dinner last night.
Apparently, she saw Torres with Kim, started beating on our dear Chief
Engineer, and blurted out the news of their affair to everyone who was
in the room.  Why didn't you tell me you were the one who told Paris
everything?"

"There's no affair, Ver," Geron insisted.  "None.  I told Paris
something and he construed it as they were having an affair.  That's
all."

Ver was stunned.  "But I don't understand.  There was nothing going on
between Kim and Torres?"

"Not an affair, no."

He smiled, knowingly.  "Ah, so there was something going on though."

"Something happened, yes.  But it wasn't an affair."

The older of the two Bajorans tried for a while longer to get Geron to
be more specific but with zero success.  "Okay, keep your secrets.  It
doesn't matter anyway.  The outcome remains the same.  Paris is gone
for good and that's all that matters."

"That's all that matters?  What about truth?  What about love?  What
about the fact if he dies out there all alone it will be my fault for
having told him what drove him away from the safety of Voyager?"

"So what?"

"So what?  How can you say that?  I know you hate him, but he's still
someone who did a lot of good for this ship and crew."

Instead of going into his usual diatribe of Paris' sins, Ver narrowed
his gaze.  "You aren't thinking of supporting this fool idea of
bringing him back, are you?"  His eyes widened.  "You are, aren't you?
Geron, what are you thinking?  We just finally got rid of him and now
you want him back?  He comes back and you'll lose Megan for sure.
She'll be all over him, so glad he's back."

"I've already probably lost her!  But if I bring him back, then maybe
I can make up to everyone for the hurt I've cause them and him."

He flew out of the quarters yet Ver stayed where he was.  In fact, he
stretched out even more on the couch and went to sleep.  Had they not
been less than an hour from Y Llat Dust Cloud, he would have rushed
after Geron to talk "sense to him."  But they were and he knew from
everything he had heard about Janeway recently there was little chance
they were going to deviate from their course, not when there was the
promise of assistance in the upcoming alterations.  Paris was gone and
no revelations as to why at this late date were going to change that.

---

Ensign Nozawa had to clutch the transporter console or fall down from
shock.  He blinked hard at Ensigns Ashmore and Gallagher who were
standing on the other side of the console from him.  The two of his
three closest friends wore surprised and somewhat affronted looks at
the idea that the man they knew so well would have held something of
this magnitude from them.  "Repeat that again," he asked Ashmore.

So Ashmore did repeat it again.  This time very slowly and with
definite emphasis on every word as he related what had been said in
the Mess Hall the night before.

He shook his head.  "I don't believe this."

"So it's true?"

The Asian male looked down at his board and nodded.  "Yeah," he
sighed, "it's true."  At their gasp, his head came up.  "Just the part
about Jenny and I seeing them kissing each other.  Nothing more than
that."

"They kissed each other?" Gallagher whispered, her eyes wide.  "Define
'kissed.'"

Ashmore gave her a look that he thought this was the stupidest
question he had ever heard.  "What do you mean 'Define kissed?'"

"I mean was it a peck on the check or-"

"Mouth," Nozawa interrupted.  "Definitely an eight on a scale of one
to ten."

"Damn," the audience swore in unison.

"But this part about the affair and Geron telling anyone anything or
why, that I can't say."  He shook his head.  "Megan told us not to
tell anyone what we'd seen and I figured it anyone would have a
problem keeping their mouth shut it would be her sister.  With Jenny
Delaney you never know what she's capable of doing."  His lips twisted
at the memory of precisely what had brought that fact stunningly home
to him.  "But Geron.  I never would have thought he was that insecure
in their relationship to do something like this.  Everyone knows how
close Megan and Tom Paris always have been.  He had to have known he
was in danger of losing her for sure when he deliberately went against
what she'd told him and told Paris whatever version of things that he
did."

"A jealous man does strange things," Gallagher sighed, remembering the
"strange things" one of her previous boyfriends had done when he had
thought she was looking at other men.  "So he exaggerated to hurt
Tom."

"Must have.  Unless there actually is an affair going on and they've
been hiding it but Geron somehow found out."  He shook his head again.
"But I doubt it.  Not those two."

The doors opened and Lang rushed in just in time to hear Nozawa's last
sentence.  "I figured I'd find you all here.  You're talking about
Torres and Harry Kim?  Then you should have been at breakfast.  Neelix
is spreading the word he talked to them last night and found out
there's no affair.  Just some- How'd he phrase it?  A misguided kiss.
Whatever that's supposed to mean."

Gallagher's eyebrows lifted.  "A misguided kiss that was an eight out
of ten."

"I don't know.  This is just what his passing along."  She stepped up
to the upper level where Nozawa stood and placed an arm about the
clearly overwhelmed man.  "You okay?"

He looked at her, seeking comfort in her gaze.  "You think they're
right though?"

"Right about what?" she asked gently.

"About maybe the reason he left was because he thinks they're having
an affair?"

Lang thought for a minute then nodded.  "Yeah, I think Tom would do
that.  I mean, I don't spend much time with him, I'm usually on Gamma
shift and he is -- was -- on Alpha, but I do think he's the type to
try to bow out gracefully."

"And he'll never know now that he was told wrong."

She felt unexpected tears rising in her throat at his distressed tone.
"No, he won't."

"Oh, come on," Gallagher interrupted disgusted.  "You two sound like
you're about to join the Pro-Paris Movement.  The guy's gone.  We
aren't going after him or we wouldn't be planning to land on New
Kildare when we get there.  And Janeway's not about to let anyone go
after him.  Look what happened with the Wildman kid when she tried
last night."

"That's different," Ashmore disagreed.  "She's just a kid."

"True, but-"

"I'm not saying we should get him back," Lang explained, "just that
it's sad he won't ever know the truth.  Frankly, even if he did, I
doubt he'd come back anyway."

"I should have told him when it happened," insisted Nozawa, not really
listening to her.  "I shouldn't have listened to Megan and told him."

An argument broke out at that point over the pros and cons of Paris
not being amongst them.  Nozawa barely heard any of it.  Though his
role in everything had been a very minor one, he still found himself
regretting it and feeling guilty.

---

"There she is, Captain."

It was a seemingly needless statement of something that was obvious to
everyone on the Bridge with Maire, the person who had said it.  Only
it was not so needless as it would first appear for she and everyone
except Baytart, who had his back to the command chair therefore could
not see what was going on behind him, knew the Captain was distracted
by her thoughts.  That was quite understandable by anyone who knew
what the woman in question had been doing the night before.

After Maire had lead Naomi out of the shuttle, they had been converged
upon by a mother and godfather who were both admonishing and gushing
with relief at the same time.  Initially, the Captain and Commander
had hung back a bit, instinctively knowing they would not be welcomed
by the little girl.  Once Sam and Neelix had calmed a bit, they did
approach and Maire had gone into action.  Within minutes she was
moderating a clearing of the air between Naomi and her mother,
godfather, and captain in the guest quarters.  Chakotay had wanted to
come too, but Maire had taken him aside and told him in no uncertain
terms his presence would be more of a hindrance than asset as he and
his attitude towards Paris would complicate matters.  This
conversation was to bring an understanding between Naomi and the
adults about her feelings and only her feelings.  His presence
inevitably would open up an entirely different, though certainly
related set of issues better resolved at another time and without
Naomi.  So the Commander had been kept away from the over two hours
worth of arguing, tears, rebukes, and, in the end, the tentative peace
that had been forged.  Everyone had parted for their respective beds,
exhausted, but a little calmer. Everyone, but Janeway, who still was
deep in thought the following morning and appeared to not have slept
in the interim.

"So what do we do, Captain?" Baytart asked, turning in his chair.  "I
can't fly through that."

Maire answered for her.  "They'll send out a few ships to meet us and
guide us in.  Don't worry.  Mr. Kim, if you can send that message?"

Without looking up from his console, Harry nodded.

He too looked like he had not slept the night before only his was for
a different reason.

After their co-conspirators had left, he and B'Elanna had received a
visit from Neelix who dropped his usual friendly attitude and demanded
to know how much of what Naomi had overheard was true.  Receiving an
explanation from Harry, the Talaxian had left with a promise to
discretely spread the true version of the matter.  He obviously had
already started long before Harry had made his way to the Bridge for
the beginning of this shift since everyone Harry had met on the way up
to Deck One had given him sad looks, not openly congratulatory ones or
sneers.

Of course, there still could have been some of those.  He had been
rather wrapped up in his thoughts of the previous night to notice
much.  Most of the time he should have been sleeping had been spent
sitting up with B'Elanna, trying to comfort her as her doubts had
begun to creep in.  No matter how much he tried to assure her they
*could* reason with Tom and everything would be okay, neither one of
them totally believed it.  The damage had been done.  Tom, who felt
things more intensely than most would believe or comprehend, probably
never would be able to completely put this mess behind him.  The two
people in the Universe he had dared to trust had betrayed him, if only
to the slight extent they actually had.  The fears they would abandon
him as had all others who had claimed to care about him had now
emerged. Their relationship with him never would be the same.

'But first they had to get him back,' Harry was thinking when Maire
had asked her question.  Surfacing, he performed his task, sending the
pre- recorded message into the cloud.  "Message sent."

Settling back in her seat to Janeway's right, Maire nodded.  "They
will have detected us and dispatched ships to intercept us long before
Ensign Kim sent our message.  Once they receive it, they'll verify it
really is me and the PTC will instruct them to guide us in through the
cloud."

"PTC?" Chakotay interrupted.

"Planetary Traffic Control.  Mr. Tuvok, do not be alarmed if they take
up flanking positions around Voyager, front and back.  That's standard
op if one our test ships has lost their long-range sensors and can't
navigate the cloud.  They get close enough the damaged ship can use
short-range sensors to lock onto them and follow them safely through.
They should do the same with Voyager."

Her prediction came true thirty seconds later.

Twenty minutes after it did, Janeway and Tuvok were beaming down to
talk to an anxious New Kildarean President and the regional governors
and Maire resignedly returned to the O'Connor Propulsion Research
Facility to inform them of the demise of the Dublin.

An hour after that, the Captain's party was back on Voyager and in the
Conference Room informing the Senior Staff the New Kildareans had
agreed to help with Voyager's modifications and the OPRF had cleared a
space for Voyager to land.

Fifteen minutes later, an extremely nervous Baytart was landing the
enormous ship on the surface.

---

"What is it?"

N'Tra led T'Ne off to one side of the room, as far away from the four
guards and two slaves as possible.  "The slaves came here with the
bedtime snack R'Co requested and couldn't find her.  They went outside
to the guards to ask where she had gone and what they should do with
the snack only the guards told them as far as they knew R'Co was in
here and searched the rooms themselves but found nothing."  She
lowered her voice so the others were sure not to here.  "I thought you
weren't going to make her disappear."

"I didn't!" he hissed softly back.

"But she's gone just the same.  I've talked with the guards and our
own people and none of them saw her go.  The only way she could have
got out would be through the windows only the internal security system
would have registered their having been opened and that didn't
happen."

"Internal security knows about this?"

"Not yet.  I consulted the systems myself without their knowledge."

"Good.  I don't know how it happened, but I certainly had nothing to
do with any of this and I want to know who did.  First thing we do is
alert internal security."

"But you just said-"

"I'm not saying we tell them what's really going on.  Tell them it's a
test of their efficiency, that with all the guests who were coming or
were already here for the Ceremony, they are going to have to be
prepared for every eventuality.  Tell them R'Co herself wanted to test
their preparedness and has devised this test for them to see how they
would handle it.  She's disappeared and it's up to them to figure out
how and to locate her."

"No one will panic if they think it's all a test and R'Co is safe and
sound somewhere."

"Precisely."

"But since we know the story's not true, what really happened to her?"

"I don't know.  Maybe internal security will get lucky and find out.
In the meantime, have our people check her lovers and other known
associates.  Maybe she or someone else overrode the internal security
so she could get out the window for some reason.  And make sure this
room is checked for weapons signatures in case someone assassinated
her via disintegration.  Do that before we tell them the story about
the test.  Just in case."

"Yes, T'Ne."

"And get the head of internal security here.  I want to make sure he
reports directly to us.  In case he finds something we don't want
getting out.  And don't use the terminal in here just in case."

As she left, he turned to the slaves and the four guards, all of who
already were terrified as to what was going to happen to them because
of this.  T'Ne let them continue to stew while he waited for N'Tra to
complete her assignment.

---

Twenty minutes later, N'Tra slipped into the room where D'Itu was
reading alone.  "R'Co is gone."

D'Itu showed surprise.  "I thought you said T'Ne did not want to do
it?  It would defeat the purpose.  He wanted to discredit her.  Making
her disappear would only cause problems.  An investigation would have
to be made to find the one who made her vanish.  Were he caught, he
would go to prison and R'Co might still end up on the throne."

"He claims he didn't do it."  She narrowed her eyes.  "You're saying
*you* didn't do it either?"

"Of course.  I agree with his reasons for caution in this.  I told you
that.  You didn't do this either then?"

"No.  So if he's telling the truth, which I think he is, and I know
you are, what happened to her?  T'Ne has so many people watching her
along with the regular guards, there's no way she could have walked
out or someone walking in to get her without someone seeing."

"What about weapon's fire?  Did he check for that?  Maybe someone did
get in and disintegrated her.  Some sort of trap could have been set
when she wasn't in the room.  Her bedchamber's not watched when she's
not there.  Anyone could have gone in and done something."

"He has internal security thinking it's all some sort of a test of
their abilities, that R'Co's actually safe somewhere, waiting to see
how they do.  When they got to work, they found no evidence of any
residual weapons signatures."  She paused.  "There was a strange
energy signature, very faint.  They almost missed it.  It doesn't
match anything on file."

D'Itu paced around the room for a while, thinking.  "So she vanished
from a secured room without anyone seeing her and the only thing out
of the ordinary that has been found so far is an energy signature that
cannot be identified and may or may not be connected to all this?"

"Yes."

"She could not just vanish," he muttered to himself over and over
until he finally stopped and stared at her with wide eyes.  "Unless
she didn't 'vanish.'"

"She's invisible?  Out of phase or something?"

"Maybe, but isn't there a more likely an explanation?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like she was beamed up."

"Beamed... Voyager."

"Exactly.  She supposedly can do some sort of matter transfer.  What
if that is what that energy signature is?  Some by-product or
something of the beaming procedure?  T'Ne still is pursuing the idea
Voyager knows something about T'Do's death?  So what about this?  What
if they don't just know something more about it that we do?  What if
they somehow were in league with R'Co over it?"

"And the reason she's currently missing is because they took her to
their ship for some reason?  The briefing I'Nu gave the ships attached
to Rachar said Voyager had to be within a certain distance in order to
do this beaming thing.  We would have seen her."

"But that Sunfire, it had the technology to blind ship's and planetary
sensors to its presence.  What if Voyager could do the same?"

"But why wouldn't they have used it before now?"

"Maybe it wasn't working.  They had been in many battles before E'Arte
heard of them and began having his ships test her abilities.  It could
have been damaged in one of these battles and they had not repaired it
yet.  Or perhaps it takes a large amount of energy and they were low.
Or remember those reports of what happened immediately before Voyager
reached Rachar?  The larger ship that brought Sunfire with them?
Maybe they had the hiding technology and Voyager didn't but somehow
got it from them, either through trade or theft."

"The reports say Voyager's crew has too many regulations within which
they have to operate therefore are prevented from being duplicitous."

"However they got it, the chances are they do have it," he insisted.

"Yes, it is possible.  But why do this?  If they have sensors as
sophisticated as the reports say, why wouldn't they have seen the
slaves coming with R'Co's snack and immediately sent her back down so
we didn't know she ever was gone?"

"Maybe something malfunctioned or they didn't care if we knew.  Maybe
R'Co reneged on whatever deal she made with them regarding their role
in things and they beamed her up to deal with her."

"She does tend to double cross people, but never unless she knows she
can handle them.  With Voyager, I doubt she'd be that certain of her
ability to do that."

His mood deflating, he nodded.

"I know this disappoints you," she soothed, "but you have to be
absolutely certain of the situation before you make your move."

"Yes.  Best not reveal myself until I'm sure R'Co's out of the way for
good."

"And unfortunately that will only happen if we bide our time and let
T'Ne do his investigating."

"And let him take the fall if necessary."

"Exactly."

"But what if R'Co's not found in time for the Ceremony?"

"There will be chaos if R'Co's disappearance becomes known to be
something other than a test of security.  Some story will have to be
concocted.  I'm sure T'Ne can be relied upon to do that.  He and the
Council.  Probably they'll make up some romantic garbage along the
lines of what was said about R'Rto the Fourth.  Remember?  He
supposedly gave up being Leader to live a life of obscurity on some
remote world?  All because the love of his life, who had been kept a
secret because he was a commoner, never would have been happy with
palace life.  Everyone thought it was so romantic?  Little do they
know R'Rto actually died in his bed with four Wtwna sex slaves and the
R'Rto who gave the abdication speech was a surgically altered stand in
who died himself not long afterwards."

"Hmm.  I nearly fell off of my chair when you found the real record of
R'Rto the Fourth in the secured archives and told me about it."

"Quite understandable why the Council would want to keep the fact our
Leader died while enjoying the sexual favours of slaves from an empire
with whom we were at war at the time.  All sorts of questions would
have been raised."  She sighed.  "Like will be now if the truth gets
out."

"Unless they can find some evidence before the Ceremony to disqualify
her."

"I still wonder if I shouldn't plant something for T'Ne to find.  To
speed up the process.  He's expecting to find something anyway and if
he keeps looking for legitimate proof that might not even exist, R'Co
could die of old age before he find it."

"And if something goes wrong and you're caught you know what will
happen then?  If R'Co can be found, she still will get to the throne
and you'll end up executed for treason.  If she can't be, you'll still
be executed and your second cousin will become Leader."

"And she's mixed up with that pacifistic cult who keep advocating
harmony with the other species and equal rights for all, including our
slaves."

"Exactly.  The Gherop Empire would fall into chaos.  No, best let T'Ne
try to find any evidence there is to find all by himself for the
moment.   If he hasn't found anything within an interval, then we can
give him a bit of a nudge."

"Maybe a suggestion that Voyager may have taken her?  I think he'd
latch onto that idea and start creating a story to explain R'Co's
departure.  Voyager does seem a plausible explanation what with the
strange energy signature."

"Only if he does not think of it first or we don't come up with a
better plan.  Just in case, contact our ships that are out looking for
Voyager and Sunfire and tell them to scan them to see if R'Co is on
board.  Don't tell them who they're scanning for, just see if there's
a Gherop lifesign on board.  If there is, destroy the ship.  I want to
be sure there's no way she can come back to try to take my throne from
me."

"I'll come up with a good story for them.  That the Gherop they are
scanning for is a traitor trying to get Voyager and Sunfire to strike
at the Homeworld?  That would keep them from asking too many questions
thus giving R'Co time to identify herself to our ships and ruin things
when they do find her."

"I like the way your mind works."

She smiled.

---

'Nice cosy family,' Sunfire grimaced.  'Makes one glad they're an
orphan.'  She filed away the information she was receiving from their
devices monitoring of the Homeworld.  It was quite possible these
tidbits might be of later use.  Especially anything she could find on
this pacifistic cousin.  She might be important if things with R'Co
did not go well.

"Sunbird?"

"Yes?" came the response from her small holodeck.

"The Gherop are still looking for us and Voyager.  They now have
orders to destroy us on sight."

"Voyager's got to be well out of Gherop space by now and we've looked
at their technology.  They have nothing that will be of use to them in
trying to detect us.  Don't worry.  Now how about a status report on
our former guest?"

---

R'Co awoke with a coughing fit so violent it had her doubled over.
'What was that smell?' she wondered, opening her eyes then instantly
shutting them again when something made them sting.  Not that they
were of much use to her open anyway; it had been pitch black around
her from what little she had seen.

Her head hurt worse than the time she and her fifth lover had become a
little over-enthusiastic and she had struck her head on the stone
floor of the chapel.  She was relatively certain that was not the
reason for her current pain.  After all, she had arranged for his
execution once she had tired of him.  A monk who was willing to break
his vows of celibacy and silence?  Who knew what else he was capable
of doing?  He simply had to go.  Of course that was the same fate all
of her lovers met so his lack of self-control was nothing more than an
excuse.

Since she knew he was not the cause of the pain, there had to be
another explanation.

Groping for the controls for the room's illumination, she encountered
not the wall as she had expected, but another body, clothed in a rough
garment.  Immediately, she snatched the hand back and her eyes popped
open, stinging or not.  She still could not see anything, but the
shock of what she had just felt had been enough to banish the last of
the fuzziness from her brain.  It was then that she became at least
partially aware of her condition and surroundings.

Clearly she was lying on a floor.  A cold and uncomfortable one at
that.  The clothes she wore were rough and ill fitting, nothing like
the well-tailored gown she had been draped in when she had gone to
bed.  Around her neck was something cold and heavy that produced a
slight hum.  Over that soft sound, she could hear the sound of raspy
breathing all around her.  Lots of raspy breathing.  Wherever she was,
however she had got there, she was not alone.

There was a near deafening hissing noise followed by a less than
gentle thump.  The breathing around her was drowned out by the sound
of voices, presumably belonging to the breathers.  They were not
saying anything she could make out easily.  It was more of a general
murmur of anxiety.  Whatever was happening, her companions knew what
was going on and it was not anything good.

An instant later, she too knew.  There was the muffled clank of some
huge metal something disengaging then a high-pitched squeal followed
by a creaking of metal and the hiss of hydraulics.  A thin sliver of
blinding daylight appeared and enlarged as the ramp to the cargo hold
lowered.  As she brought her hands up to shield her eyes against the
light, she had the impression of dozens of aliens from dozens of
worlds all huddled on the floor of the hold, all with restraining
collars around their necks.  She also had the impression that
something was wrong with her hands.  Just as her eyes had adjusted
enough to the sudden illumination for her to lower her hands and see
what was wrong with them, there was the sound of heavy boots on the
ramp and cries from all around her.

"Get up, slaves!" a fierce voice shouted and it echoed around the
hold.

Frowning, she looked up before she could check her hands and saw those
closest to the hold opening being yanked to their feet by Gherop
guards and unceremoniously shoved down the ramp and into the light.
Seeing the treatment the first few of their number were receiving, the
majority of the remaining occupants scrambled to their feet and exited
of their own volition and under their own power in the hopes of
avoiding the rough treatment.  With everyone in front of her, the
light was blocked out and R'Co could not see anything.  By the time
her eyes had readjusted to the darkness, the ones obstructing her view
were herded out of the way, leaving her sitting there, squinting into
the light once more.

"Up!"  The command was shouted at her as two sets of hands roughly
hauled her to her feet and propelled her along after the others.  She
went stumbling into the back of the huge alien before her.  One of its
heads growled over its shoulder at her while the other watched where
its communal body was headed.  The group was driven out and for the
first time they saw their new home.  R'Co got to know it intimately as
she was unable to properly negotiate the last few steps down the ramp
and tripped, flying face first into the parched grown at the base of
the ramp.  Some of those behind her had seen her fall therefore were
able to avoid stepping on her.  Others had not so were not.  When they
were over her, the guards jerked her to her feet once more and pushed
her along after the others who were trudging towards a low structure
in the distance.

It was then that she discovered she had no footwear.  The surface of
the arid world was hot and burnt her tender soles.  She did much
jumping and moaning as mild burns began on her feet.

"Silence!" the guard nearest her snarled and hit her in the side with
the but of his weapon.

She fell out of line and was shoved back into it again.

"Get back into line, slave!"

"Slave!" she shouted back, finally getting over her shock and finding
her tongue.  Forgetting her feet in her indignation, she wheeled on
him.  "How dare you speak to me of all people like that!"

"Move it!" was his response and he gave her another push.

She stumbled back a few paces and held her ground once more.  "I am
R'Co!  Your Leader!  I'll have you executed for this."

The guard glanced at his partner and they both bowed low.  "Oh forgive
us, great R'Co," the great conversationalist apologized.  "We did not
recognize you in your rags."  The regretful looks on their faces
vanished.  "Move it, Opaw."

"Opaw!" she growled back and would have gone on to tell them they
needed their eyesight examined when they prodded her with the muzzles
of their weapons to turn around and follow the others again.  Gasping
at the indignity of being called a member of the lowest of all the
species in the servitude of the Gherop, she had no choice but to
follow.

"-And this is where you will stay for the rest of your lives," the
Gherop male was saying from the dais before the other slaves when R'Co
arrived, "however long that shall be.  I will tell you no one has ever
escaped from this world.  What you wear around your necks will ensure
your continued presence with us.  Stray too far and... Well, I always
find a demonstration is most useful at this point."

"Take this one," the guard who had been so "deferential" to R'Co
offered and shoved her forwards.

The male on the dais sneered at R'Co then tapped out an instruction on
a small device and pointed it at her.  Searing pains wracked her body,
starting from her neck and coursing throughout her form from there.
She fell to her hands and knees, screaming in pain.  Then it was gone.
Her body sagged with relief.

"That is just a taste of what it can do.  There is no way to remove
the collars.  To do so is to be instantly disintegrated by it.  You
will notice posts marking the perimeter of the mine area.  Cross any
of those and your collars will give you what the Opaw just received.
If you are able to withstand that, the farther you move from this
area, the more intense the pain and eventually the disintegration
function will kick in.  No one's ever made it that far yet.  This
planet has a few surprises in store for anyone who strays from the
safe areas like here.  Remember that.  And remember too, these mines
are for Halkwi ore.  That is a highly explosive mineral if treated
incorrectly so take care where you're swinging your picks.  The life
you save, may be your own."

As he turned away, he gestured with a careless hand towards the
vehicle with the long line of open topped cars behind it.  Immediately
the guards began shoving the slaves towards them.

R'Co, still on her hands and knees, pushed herself up to her feet and
started for the male,  "Her" guard and his partner grabbed her, trying
to prevent her from getting to their superior.  The commotion drew his
attention though and he approached them.

"Quite the temper, Opaw," he remarked.  "Time in the mines will fix
that."

"I will fix you!" she shouted.  "Release me immediately and your
children may be spared to live with your shame and your deaths."

"She claims she is R'Co," the guard informed his superior.

The three of them laughed heartily.

"Well, R'Co," the superior greeted with a bow, "welcome to Mot-Ri.
Mining Station 718.  I hope you enjoy your stay with us."  He became
serious.  "Put this Opaw to work.  Hard labour will cure her of her
delusions."

Towards the last of the cars, she was dragged kicking and screaming
about how they were going to regret what they were doing.  They paid
little to no attention to her venom and tossed her bodily inside the
car.  When she attempted to disembark, the silent guard whipped out a
device identical to the one his superior had used earlier and repeated
the lesson.  Her body convulsed with pain them slumped back against
one of the other occupants who then shoved her to one side.  'Someone
was going to die for this,' she vowed.  'Starting with those three and
ending with whomever had sent her here in the first place.'

She still was shaking off the residual tingles of pain when they
stopped at the bottom of the mine and the other riders began
obediently disembarking.  They had seen her pain and had learned from
it.  She, unfortunately, had not.  The guards at the bottom had to
drag her out of the car, her kicking and screaming not as loud as it
had been up top due to her body's sluggishness from the pain.  They
threw her towards a pile of rocks and a pick was tossed to the ground
beside her, narrowly missing her head.  The laughter of the one who
had done the tossing told her it was a deliberate miss.  Her anger at
that and all the other indignities she had so recently suffered gave
her renewed strength to shakily stand, using the pick for a prop.

"You-" she furiously began, only to be cut off.

"Get to work!" the guard bellowed at her.

"I'll have you publicly executed for this!"

"If anyone does any executing, Opaw, it will be *me* of *you*!  Get to
work."  He raised his hand and she could see one of the devices in his
hand.

She spat at him the vilest epithets she could think up.

Triggering the pain mechanism was his response.

When it was over, she hurled more insults at him, this time with less
energy.

Again the pain.

Again the name calling.

Finally, he tired of it and motioned for two of the slaves nearest her
to pick R'Co up.  Under his guidance, they hauled her now limp body
through the work area to a worked out section of the strip mine.
There had been constructed two buildings.  One large and similar to
the one up top only less elaborate or maintained.  The other was a
circular structure, smaller than the bedchamber in which she had
fallen asleep the night before.  It was inside this latter structure
that they pitched her.

"Let's see if some time spent here will make you more amenable to
following instructions," the guard said as he slammed the door shut
and left her in what should have been total darkness, but was not.
Looking around she could see the walls and the door were transparent
from her direction and she recognized them as the glass that had been
all the rage on the Homeworld about ten fads ago.  Glass that was
transparent one direction but impenetrable the other.  She soon
remembered why the glass had quickly gone out of fashion and why they
were using it here. It did not reflect the sunlight and keep the heat
out.  It did the complete opposite.  Under the hot sunlight, she
slowly was going to cook to death.

R'Co pushed to her feet and frantically began scratching at the seam
in the glass outlining the location of the door.  After twenty minutes
at it she slid to the floor, the heat she was unused to getting to
her.

"Interesting place you have here," a male voice said from behind her.

Slowly, she lifted her face and her eyes focused on a figure all in
midnight blue.  It was impossible for her to tell what species he was
since he was covered from head to foot in the darkest of blue
materials.  Not that identifying him really mattered.  What did was
that she was absolutely certain he had not been in here when she had
been tossed inside.  'Hallucinations?' she asked herself only to find
she had voiced it aloud.

"No hallucination.  I'm as real as you are, R'Co."

His calling her by her name, not "Opaw," made her lunge for him,
despite her exhaustion.  She did not get far before crumpling back to
the floor.  "Who are you?  What is going on?"

"Who I am is irrelevant.  What is going on, well as for that, let's
just leave that discussion for another time."

"There won't be another time because-"

"Because what?  You're going to kill me?  That wouldn't be very smart
since I'm the only one here who knows who you actually are."

"As soon as I'm missed, probably right now even, my people will be
searching for me.  I'm the most famous person in the entire Gherop
Empire.  I'm the future Leader.  These mongrels clearly are too
uneducated in current affairs to recognize me.  But once my picture is
dispatched to all quarters as the search for me continues, then
they'll recognize me and I'll be freed."

"You'd expect so, wouldn't you?  Only I don't think that'll be the
case exactly."  He withdrew an object from the folds of his cloak and
held it up so she could see herself in its reflective surface.

Not that what she saw was anything she recognized as herself.  Staring
back at her was an Opaw, thus ending the mystery as to why everyone
here needed their eyes checked for thinking she was not a Gherop.

"A trick," she insisted, turning her face away.  Out of the corner of
her eye, she saw something and looked towards her feet.  They were
covered in the dusty soil of the planet, but they clearly were
different than normal.  The colour was wrong for starters.  And she
had an extra toe on each foot.  She lifted her hands and finally saw
what she had sensed was wrong with her hands.  They did not look like
her hands at all.

"Medical trickery actually," he corrected, returning the mirror to its
pocket concealed in folds of the cloak.  "I surgically altered you to
look like an Opaw."

Her head whipped back around.  "Why?!"

"As I said before, that is for a later time."

She made another grab for him, this time in succeeding in reaching
him.  Or not reaching him as the case was.  Her hands passed right
through him.

"When I said I was as real as you, I should have been a touch more
specific.  I'm as real as you, I'm just not here.  What you see is a
projection of light representing me.  The real me is elsewhere,
monitoring all this."

"For what purpose?"

"I already told you, all in good time.  For now, I'll leave you to
contemplate your new home and situation."  With that, the figure
winked out of existence.

For a time, she pounded on the walls and frantically attempted to
prise the door open.  All she had to show for it when she finally
collapsed were bruised fists and bleeding nails.

---

"She is going to be a tough one to break, Sunbird."

Tom removed his AlphaOmegan uniform's hood.  "But I'll do it."

There was a gleam in his eye she had seen many a time before.  Every
one of those times he had doggedly continued towards his goal until he
had achieved it.  There was no doubt in her mind that the same would
be the case this time.  No matter how long it took, he would see to it
R'Co submitted to his will.  He would accept nothing less.

---

'Where was Dr. O'Connell?' Chakotay wondered, pacing about the
conference room two doors down from Maire's office in Building 1 on
the OPRF grounds.

When Maire had contacted him to come here and meet her psychology
expert, he had just been readying for bed after a long day of looking
after Voyager in the Captain's absence.  The uninformed observer would
have thought everyone could relax with the ship landed and there were
no possible threats to their safety.  The contrary was true.
Starships were designed for space, not land.  While Voyager was
perfectly capable of landing as per the designers' intent, taking her
out of her natural environment meant they had to monitor more closely
various systems that normally gave very different readings or were
never used at all during space travel.

And then there was the headache of keeping everyone's minds on their
jobs when they really wanted to be out exploring New Kildare.
Shoreleave was something they had not had the chance for much of in
recent months.  The chance of downtime on a planet so like Earth with
actual people from the Alpha Quadrant, who looked like the majority of
the crew, who did not need customs or colloquialisms explained to
them, it was such a temptation for everyone to rush to the nearest
transporter room.  Chakotay had to remind many of them more than once
they were not on shoreleave yet and to go about their duties.  But it
was like trying to keep a litter of puppies in a box.  You put one
back in and another escaped somewhere else.  So his day had been spent
chasing "puppies" who had places to go and people to see but were not
going just yet to if he had his way and he was tired.  Too tired to be
standing around some strange conference room, waiting for some retired
shrink who had been drafted by Maire to help with Chakotay's ECH
project.

He was about to leave when the door opened a white haired woman swept
in.

"Commander Chakotay?"

He nodded.

"Oh, good.  Nana O'Connell.  So sorry to have kept you waiting.  My
great-granddaughter didn't seem to want to go bed and my husband,
well, he seemed more than ready to and fell asleep in her bed and-"
She waved a hand as if to shoo away the topic and dropped into a chair
at the table.  "So, Maire tells me you want to construct a hologram to
be counsellor on your ship?"

"Along the lines of our Emergency Medical Holographic programme, yes."

"Hmm.  I can't help you with the holoprogramming.  Maire's young man,
Declan, will start laying the ground work for this then Stephane will
do the rest when he returns."

"Yes, Maire told us Stephane teaches Computer Science at the New
Dublin University and was away right now, but she never said where he
was.  On sabbatical?"

"No, just a short vacation of sorts.  He should be back in a few days.
I hope.  But in the meantime, Declan can gather all the information
they're likely to need and examine the EMH programme.  And I'll get
started on the psychology end of things."

"I would appreciate that, Dr. O'Connell."

"Maire says Voyager will be here for at least a week, maybe two, while
you do these alterations of yours.  You won't be needed to assist with
them?"

"No, Voyager's engineers will handle it with the help of Maire's
colleagues.  Meetings have been set up for most of the rest of the
crew to exchange information with the New Kildareans working in their
particular areas of study.  And some are working on trying to
understand The Relocation as you call it and hopefully reverse it and
possibly take Voyager with it so we don't have to try out this Gopher
Hole after all."

"So since you're the First Officer and aren't an engineer or a
scientist, you're left with nothing to do?"

"I will still have some duties but not many so I have time to devote
to this."

"Maire also said you've not discussed this ECH idea with anyone except
her.  Still the case?"

He nodded.  "Everyone has too much on their plates as it is.  I
thought this would only complicate matters."

"Hmm."  She relaxed back into her chair, elbows resting on the arms,
fingers steepled.  Over them, she regarded him.  "Before we begin I
think you should tell me why you want to create this ECH."

In detail, he outlined the many crises that had plagued the crew.

"And this current one.  The departure of this Thomas Paris.  What role
does that play in all this."

"I don't understand your meaning."

"You have been without an ECH for five years and have had an EMH for
all of them yet it is only now that you are contemplating copying the
concept of him to make a counsellor for yourselves.  It stands to
reason there had to be some cause that triggered your abrupt decision
to create an ECH.  Maire has told me of the strain Thomas Paris'
leaving has placed on some of the crew, your Captain, your friend
B'Elanna, yourself-"

"Me?"

"Yes, you.  I heard it in your voice when you said his name and told
me of him just now.  How precisely has his leaving effected you,
Commander?  What are you feeling?"

"It hasn't effected me.  Some of the crew, yes, but not me."

"Not at all?"

"Right."

"So this man, his leaving, meant nothing to you?"

"Only in as much as what it did to some of the others."

"Ah, so it did mean something to you."

"Look, I didn't come here for a counselling session.  Maire may have
muttered some garbage about needing my head examined to eliminate
biases that might creep into the ECH, but with you doing the
psychology end of things and this Declan and Stephane doing the
programming, any bias I may have won't enter into it.  You supposedly
were going to do all the work with me acting as liaison so you could
have access to the systems you might need to check.  The EMH
programme.  The holodecks. Whatever it is you need access to so you
can complete this.  Once you're done, I'll present you and the ECH.
That was my bit in all this."  He shoved back his chair and rose.  "If
you're looking for someone to stretch out on your couch and tell you
their problems, it's not me."

She caught his arm as he passed her chair on his way out of the room.
"Sit down, Commander," she said in a firm voice.  The muscles under
her hand tensed, but he did not move.  "If I am to help design this
ECH of yours, I need to know what sort of issues it will be called on
to help the crew deal with.  You are here so I'm using you as a
guideline to figure that out."

He relaxed ever so slightly.

"There is a lot of anger and resentment in you, mostly focused on
Thomas Paris.  Maire saw it and I've seen it too.  If we can work on
resolving those issues in you then we'll be better able to resolve
them in others."

"I'm to be a guinea pig," he guessed.

She gave him a frank look.  "You just told me you don't have anything
better to do."

He tried to come up with a good comeback to this and failed so instead
he set the padd with the specifications on the table before her.
"Call me when your computer experts need access and I'll provide it."
He removed her hand and left.

When Nana walked into her living room many minutes later, she had to
shake her head at the eager faces of the two seated on the couch.
"He's impossible," she sighed, plopping down in her husband's lap.

"Keep working on him," the O'Connell's guest insisted.  "As their
First Officer, he has a lot of influence with the crew.  If you can
calm him down and make him place things in their proper perspective,
others will see his change in attitude and follow suit."

"From what Maire says and what I've seen, it's not going to be easy.
When Thomas' name came up, I could almost see the waves of dislike
emanating from him."

"You'll have to try anyway.  There has to be a satisfactory resolution
to this.  We all agreed that this was the best way."

Nana and Oran inclined their heads.

---

"Let me get this straight, Crewman," the Doctor asked his patient,
"there is no affair?"

Flexing his newly healed broken arm, the crewman from Ship's Services
shook his head.  "None.  If you'll pardon the pun, this whole 'affair'
was blown out of proportion.  From what I heard from someone who
talked directly to Neelix, who apparently got it directly from Torres
and Kim, it was just one misguided kiss done when both were very
confused and they never told Paris because they were afraid he
wouldn't see it as the meaningless mistake it was."  He shrugged.
"Frankly, I never believed it anyway.  Those two a couple?  Ensign
Kim's a nice guy and all, but he's no match for her.  Once I was in
Engineering delivering something and I saw her in a temper and Ensign
Kim was right there, talking to her.  She wasn't mad at him, but at
someone else who wasn't there and I thought the poor guy was going to
go hide under the nearest console, he was cringing so bad."  He hopped
down off of the biobed.  "Frankly, Paris is the only one I've ever
seen not cringe in fear of her temper.  Well, him and Seven of Nine.
Thanks for the fix up, Doctor.  I have to get back to duty."

"Yes," muttered the hologram, barely noticing him leaving.  "All part
of the service."

He did not hear the doors closing behind his former patient, he was so
deep in thought, trying to remember what it was he was supposed to
have done regarding Seven yet had not.  Suddenly he remembered what it
was. Last night, he had told her he was going to see Ensign Kim and
Lieutenant Torres to get the true version of events.  On his way to
the Lieutenant's quarters, he had been called here to attend to a food
poisoning outbreak.  He had spent the rest of the night and most of
the morning monitoring them and finishing up an experiment the rest of
the day.  He had forgotten all about having to see anyone other than
his patients and his petrie dishes.  But now he remembered.

"Computer, locate Seven of Nine."  He knew she would want to know
about this, even if she would claim to be uninterested and had work to
do. He also knew it was doubtful anyone had told her this correction
to the latest bit of gossip to sweep the ship.  Given her usual
response to hearing rumours was to denounce them as speculation
without basis or merit and call them irrelevant, most had given up
trying to include her in that particular aspect of the ship's social
life.  This, however, he knew she would want to know.

"Seven of Nine is in Cargo Bay Two," the Computer informed him.

He checked the computer and found her to be in mid- regeneration.
"Tomorrow will have to be soon enough," he decided and put off giving
her the information she so badly wanted.

Days later, he would regret waiting.

---

"B'Elanna, may I speak with you?"

After a long day of meetings and planning sessions with OPRF
technicians and engineers, B'Elanna dearly wanted to shut her
quarters' door in the Captain's face.  Her resentment of this woman
was considerable and the landing of Voyager on New Kildare had only
increased it.  B'Elanna worried any speaking the two of them did would
result in the Captain making an extended stay in Sickbay.  "I really
don't-"

"B'Elanna, please."  Without waiting for an invitation, Janeway
slipped passed her and into the living room beyond.

Looking silly standing there in the doorway, B'Elanna stepped away.

Taking a seat on the couch, Kathryn folded her hands in her lap and
stared at the coffee table for a moment, marshalling her thoughts.
"It's about Tom.  Well of course it's about Tom," she muttered to
herself.  "What else would it be at this time of night?" She met
B'Elanna's hostile gaze.  "I usually don't interfere with the crew's
private lives, or I try not to anyway, but when you and Ensign Kim had
that incident a few months back you two swore there wasn't anything
romantic going on between you.  You swore it was just because you were
mad at Tom and you were wishing you'd fallen for someone stable and
even tempered like Harry.  You said you weren't actually attracted to
him.  There wasn't any spark between you.  You just wished one
suddenly would appear so you wouldn't have to deal with Tom and his
moods.  Was everything you told me and he told Commander Chakotay a
lie or was what Naomi overheard the lie?"

"I meant every word I said to you about Harry.  There's no affair.
Never has been.  Never will be.  I don't know how they got from one
innocent kiss to a full-blown affair, but Jenny Delaney, Nozawa, and
Geron Tem are going to answer for this."

"They have a lot of explaining to do, yes," the Captain sighed.

"And so do you!"

Kathryn blinked at her frankness.

"They may have done the biggest damage, but your refusing to help the
Rachar certainly helped make up Tom's mind."

"B'Elanna, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Tom's mind appears to have
been made up long before he and I ever spoke.  He said goodbye to
Naomi long before he ever saw me.  He already knew he was leaving.  My
refusing to help them only was the finishing touch," she finished
sadly.

In the face of what she could tell was the truth, Tom's mate struggled
to hold back her emotions.  Kathryn saw this and crossed to her.  She
laid her hands on the younger woman's shoulders.

"B'Elanna-"

"No!"  She wrenched herself away from her.  "You're trying to lay this
all at my feet and not take your own fair share.  I know I screwed up.
I know that.  I had a weak moment and did something stupid and now
it's come back to haunt me.  But you, you helped.  You told me not to
tell Tom about kissing Harry.  You told me it would hurt him too much
and he'd never find out anyway unless one of us told him.  So I kept
my mouth shut.  I hated keeping it from Tom, but I did it.  Then Tom
finds out anyway and all this happens and you refuse to let me go
after him!"

"B'Elanna, when you asked for us to go, you didn't know about Tom
knowing."

"Yes, I did, just not quite what he thought he knew!"

"What?"

The message with Tom's padd was brought out and read by yet another
player in this little drama.  Her reaction was the same as the others
--  stupefaction.

"Oh, no."

"Yes, oh no."

"B'Elanna, if you'd brought this to me in the first place I might
have-"

"Might have what?  Said we could go?  What about all your reasons for
us not going?"

"What reasons?"

"The ones Chakotay rattles off to anyone who asks.  'It was Tom's
decision to go.'  'He's an adult who can make up his own mind.'
'Sunfire can bring him back to us or the Alpha Quadrant anytime he
likes.'"

"'He's behaving like a child who has not go his way and has run away
from home,'" she quoted.

"Exactly."

Kathryn set the padd on the coffee table and caught B'Elanna's
shoulders again.  "B'Elanna, if I said those things it was only
because Chakotay kept saying them to me while I was... Let's be
honest, I came very close to a nervous breakdown when Tom left."

B'Elanna stopped trying to shrink away from the hands and looked at
her.

"I want him back too, B'Elanna.  Badly.  But I thought it was all my
fault that he was gone.  That the fact I'd left him behind on Rachar
then that I was being too rigid about the Prime Directive and that was
why he left.  It never occurred to me that there was any other
possible reason.  All I could think of was Tom had left me, left you,
left all of us, and it was all my fault."

The wretchedness in the older woman's tone shook the very core of
B'Elanna's resentment towards her.  She knew exactly how the Captain
felt, had felt it herself, therefore she found it increasingly
difficult to keep the anger towards her alive.  Not that she gave up
resisting the inevitable and released it.

"Then why are we here not on New Rachar?  We could have sent a message
to New Kildare or at least asked Maire to wait.  Or you could have let
me take a shuttle and go to him.  We could have rendezvoused with
Voyager later."

"B'Elanna, I can't risk letting anyone go off on their own, not when
we're so close to Gherop territory.  As for Maire, you know the New
Kildareans want to keep their world and its location a secret.  Anyone
could have intercepted the transmission and followed it along, trying
to figure out who it was meant for.  When we're finished on New
Kildare, then we'll go to New Rachar and straighten all this out.  I
promise."

"Tuvok to Captain."

She released the other woman and tapped her combadge to answer him.
"Go ahead."

"The New Kildarean President is expecting you for dinner in twenty
minutes."

"I'd forgot.  Thank you, Tuvok.  Janeway out."  She smiled at
B'Elanna, thinking they were at peace once more then left.

As she watched her go, the half-Klingon reserved her judgement on
whether or not they were friends again.

---

The shout of  "Get up, slave!" shattered the half-asleep R'Co's hopes
the previous day had been a nightmare.  She opened her eyes just as a
guard hauled her to her feet by the scruff of her tunic and propelled
her from the glass structure towards an area where a pick waited for
her to use it.  "Hopefully you're in a more sensible frame of mind
this morning, slave.  Anymore of this R'Co nonsense and you'll go back
in there.  Now get to work!"

They stood there, glaring at one another for a long moment.  Finally,
he broke it by raising the device controlling her collar and gesturing
with it.  She continued glaring at him.

Another, older guard came along and stood there, watching.  '"Is the
Opaw still at it?"

"She's just about to get to work, aren't you, Opaw?"

"I am not an Opaw," she informed them.  "I am a Gherop.  I was
surgically altered to look like an Opaw.  I am R'Co, your Leader."

"Really," the old guard smiled.  "And just why would you let this be
done to you, oh great R'Co?"

"I didn't *let* him do this to me!  I was kidnapped from the Homeworld
and woke up in the transport ship here.  He won't tell me why he's
done this or why I'm here.  He just says he'll tell me later."

"Really?"

"Yes, really.  Contact the Homeworld.  They'll confirm I'm missing.
Do a scan of me.  You'll see internally I'm not an Opaw."

"Actually, the Homeworld's covering up your disappearance," the man
who had dropped her into this mess remarked from behind the guards,
"and I've set up a field to make their scanning devices think you are
Opaw."

"See?" she demanded of the guards, gesturing to the dark clad figure.
"He admits it."

The Gherop looked behind them towards where she was indicating.

"He who?" the younger guard asked.

"Him," she answered, looking at them like they were blind.

They frowned at her then the empty space they saw.

"They can't see or hear me, R'Co," her tormentor told her.  "Only you
can."

"What do you mean, only I can see or hear you?"

"Exactly what I said."

"Enough of this nonsense," the older guard growled and grabbed the
device from his junior's hand.  He gave R'Co a sharp blast from it
then passed it back to its owner as R'Co fell to her knees.  "That's
how you handle her.  Don't forget it."

"Yes, sir."  He waited until the other guard had wandered off before
giving R'Co a prod with his boot.  "Get to work, slave."

"You might as well do it, R'Co," it was suggested to her by the
hologram now squatting down next to her.  "It's not like you have much
of a choice."

Glaring at the figure only she could see, she rose, tremors still
wracking her body.  "Never."

Another blast of pain.

More defiance.

After four more such exchanges, R'Co rose one last time, only this
time she did not glare at either of them.  She took up her pick.

Nodding approvingly, the guard moved alone to check on the progress of
other slaves.

'Well, she's getting there,' Tom thought.

'I am going to kill every one of them,' R'Co vowed, then began
swinging the pick in a poor imitation of the technique of the others.
'I'll just bide my time, then when I know what's going on, then I'll
kill them all.'

---

"What is he up to?" Q wondered.  Everything he was seeing made about
as much sense to him as it was to his son.  He glanced towards Voyager
and his mate.  Though he never would admit it to her, she sometimes
was able to come up with ideas or angles he had not seen and he wanted
to ask what her take on all this was.  But then she might declare all
this too much for their son and try to whisk both of them back to the
Continuum and he would never know what this was all about.  So he kept
his mouth shut and forced himself to be patient.  Everything would be
explained soon.  He hoped.

---

"D'Itu," T'Ne nodded.

Behind her superior, N'Tra watched her lover play his role of the
unassuming and ineffectual idiot to the limit.  There were times he
could overact, potentially ruining the impression he was trying to
make in audience.  On those occasions, it had been necessary for her
to do some subtle damage control to mend things.  This time however,
he was the flawless.

"T'Ne, what is it your assistant tells me of my cousin?"

"We do not know how or why, but she has vanished from her bedchamber,
D'Itu."

"Vanished?"

"Yes, D'Itu."

"She must be found immediately!"

"We have our best people trying to do just that.  Understandably
though, they have not been told the truth about what is going on.  We
feared there would be a panic so we have told them it is an exercise
R'Co devised to test them."

"Oh."  He nodded rather stupidly.  "Oh, I see."

"You understand why we have to keep this quiet?"  There was a bit of
surprise in his voice.  The idea that the dim-witted D'Itu actually
understood something without having it fully explained to him was
difficult to accept.

"There would be a panic.  You just said so."

The chamberlain silently laughed at himself for thinking D'Itu might
be smarter than he appeared.  "If they knew she was missing, that
someone had breached the security around R'Co, then they'll begin to
question the Empire's very security."

"And stability," N'Tra added.

"Yes.  The people need a leader, someone they can look to for those
things.  T'Do's death left a void that R'Co's becoming Leader was
supposed to fill.  But now she's gone and if she's not found before
the Ceremony, there's going to be chaos."

"Unless...."

T'Ne gave the "thoughtful" N'Tra an enquiring look.

"The story of R'Rto the Fourth just came back to me."

D'Itu smiled and sighed.  "Abdicated to lead a life of obscurity with
the love of his life.  A commoner.  My mother used to love that story.
So romantic."

"And it was a lie," T'Ne informed him.  He too had been let in on the
real story by N'Tra as part of a ploy by her to convince him she was
working for him and his goals, not her own.  "So what's your idea,
N'Tra?"

She shrugged.  "Since that... ruse worked, why not another one?  You
assert R'Co would be a bad Leader for our people and now she's gone.
Why not make the most of this opportunity?"

"Explain."

"According to the rules of succession, if something happens to R'Co,
D'Itu here automatically becomes Leader since he's next in line.  But
you said yourself, if word gets out that R'Co's disappeared, the first
person the Council will suspect of being involved will be D'Itu since
he would profit most from her disappearance.  Only by proving to the
Council who really was responsible would we clear him from suspicion.
But that would take time and there'd be the risk of the people finding
out someone kidnapped R'Co right out from under the noses of our
security people.  The Council won't want to risk that knowledge
getting out and causing a panic any more than they'd want a lengthy
investigation.  The Empire would be left vulnerable to attack without
a Leader to control it until the investigation was completed.  The
Council knows this and might be tempted to prevent it by simply
passing over D'Itu in favour of his cousin."

"His cousin the pacifist who would destroy the Empire with her peace
accords and equality for all.  Totally unsuitable."

"Yes, but they would have to accept her because she is the last in
direct line of succession.  The next candidate is too distant a
relation to be considered."

"If only we hadn't lost most of those in directly line of succession
to botulism at that family feast."

T'Ne suppressed a smile.  That had been some of her best work and no
one had ever been the wiser.  "But we did lose them and that was a
long time ago.  Too late to do anything about it now.  But we can do
something to salvage this situation.  What if the Council thought R'Co
had left of her own accord?"

"What could possibly make her do that?  There isn't a one inside these
walls who is unaware of how much she was enjoying the wealth and the
power her new position was bringing her."

"What if we could make it look like she'd found another source of
immense wealth and power?"

"We are the wealthiest, most powerful empire in the sector."

"True.  There's no one wealthier she could have left us for.  There'd
have to be another explanation.  What if she left because she thought
she had no other choice?"

"What reason could there be for that?"

"What if... What if she were..." She seemed to cast her mind about for
a plausible explanation.  "Okay, the Crown Jewels.  She was in the
jewel vaults, right?"

"Yes?"

"But she was not wearing the Gherop Crown Jewels when she came out.
Just some others."

"Because you had hidden our Crown Jewels for fear she'd try to do to
them what she had tried to have done to the official robes and head-
dress."

"We know the Jewels are safe, but no one else does.  No one saw me in
the vaults.  If say, we suggest R'Co took the Crown Jewels-"

"Why would she *take* them?  In a few intervals, they would be hers.
There's no reason why she would want to run off with them."

"Yeah," D'Itu agreed.  "They're ugly.  Even if they are some of the
symbols of Gherop wealth and power."

N'Tra gave a satisfied smile and made a gesture towards the "idiot."
"She took them because they were the irreplaceable to the Gherop and
valuable in their own right for the rarity of the metal and stones.
As for why she ran off, what was the one reason a Leader could be
removed from succession or from the throne?"

"Removed from it?  High trea-" He smiled broadly.  "Ah, I see what
you're getting at.  We say everything she did was a mere ruse.  That
she actually was..." He thought for a second.  "A X'Kri'Ri
sympathizer.  The Council's been looking for an excuse to cross the
border and engage them in battle.  If we claim R'Co was secretly
working for them, that she was pretending to be so self-absorbed and
avaricious as a cover, they'd probably believe it."

"The alterations to the official robes and head-dress were to destroy
the symbols of Gherop Leader.  The theft of the Crown Jewels...
Destroying them would be a waste since they are so valuable for their
component parts.  But as the Gherop Crown Jewels they were invaluable
to us."

"Put the image in the heads of the Council of R'Co, on the other side
of the border, wearing the Crown Jewels just to taunt us.  That would
be enough to anger them.  But there'd have to be more proof than
that."

"Say she was seen looking at classified documents?  Documents that
later disappeared along with her?"

"But we couldn't say we'd been the only ones to see her doing it.
That would be too convenient."

"D'Itu could say it too.  They'd believe him."

The Gherop in question looked stupidly from one to the other, as
though he had been having trouble following the conversation.  "Huh?
Say what?"

"We'll tell you later exactly what to say," T'Ne assured him.

"Oh, okay."

N'Tra brought them back to the subject once more.  "So we say we
figure R'Co panicked because we were on to her or she got everything
she needed or whatever.  The Council looks at the evidence,
disqualifies her, and D'Itu is Leader."

"They'll have to think up something to tell the people."

"That can be their problem.  We've done all the hard work here.  Let
them do some."

"Whoever kidnapped R'Co did the really hard work.  And there's one
hitch in the plan.  Two really.  One, the story we told everyone
already.  How do we now say it was all a mistake?"

"You tell them it was R'Co's idea that you say it.  You'll get a bit
of flak, but they can't fault you since R'Co had everyone fooled,
including them.  At the time, you knew of no reason for you to suspect
her of anything so you had no justification for disobeying her orders.
It was only later, when I discovered the documents and the Crown
Jewels were missing did we put it together."

"Why *you* discovering them missing?"

"Because if you did it all they'd get suspicious.  'A personal
vendetta against R'Co?' they'd wonder.  Besides, I'm always the one
who gets anything for you or R'Co and puts it away when you're
finished.  It'd be naturally for me to be in the position to notice
something like the documents being missing or double-checking on the
Crown Jewels being safely in their vault."

"I suppose."

"And the second hitch?"

"What if whoever has R'Co releases her or she escapes?  She'd refute
our story."

"She'd try, yes, but if we do this right, she won't be able to.  The
Council will denounce her as an traitor and have her executed or
imprisoned."

"I still wish we knew exactly who had her and for what purpose.  It
would make it easier for us to take precautionary measures if we knew
where she might be coming from and what story she might be telling."

As he talked N'Tra and D'Itu gave each other looks, consulting one
another as to whether they should go further and suggest possible
answers to T'Ne's questions.  They tacitly agreed not to.  T'Ne's lack
of foresight in how they could use R'Co's disappearance to their
advantage already had forced them to lead him a little too much.  If
they furnished him with any further insights, they ran the risk of him
catching on that N'Tra had too many ready answers to his questions and
D'Itu was making too many fortuitous remarks.  Then too there was the
question of what T'Ne would do if he knew R'Co might be on Voyager or
Sunfire.  He was perfectly willing to use legitimate channels to try
to oust her and he seemed willing to go along with their suggestions
regarding stories to tell to the Council.  But would he condone
assassinating R'Co?  N'Tra had carefully sounded him out on the
concept of assassinations and had not been pleased to hear his
ambivalence on the subject.  They were unsure what he would do if he
knew about the shoot-on-sight order she had issued to their ships in
his name.  He might react badly if he thought that might be where R'Co
was and found out about the order to destroy Voyager and Sunfire.
They could not risk him ruining everything when they were so close to
what they wanted.

"Once the Council has made its decision and gone along with what we
tell them," she soothed, "there won't be anything R'Co can do."

"Yes, you're right."

'I'm always right,' she wanted to say to him, but did not.

---

Tom gave a final glance towards R'Co then stepped back, triggering the
holo-imager to cease projecting his image and voice to her.  "What's
wrong, Sunfire?"

"We have a problem."  She replayed the entire conversation between
T'Ne, N'Tra, and D'Itu.  "The time delay between the monitoring
equipment recording the conversation, then transmitting it and our
receiving it is one hour, seven minutes."

"So they've had enough time to set their plan in motion already.  Any
luck on locating that other cousin?"

"I've found her, yes, but I hate to say it, I'm with the Gherop.
She's a nutcase.  This cult she's mixed up in, they may believe in
peace, love, and equality, but they're crazy."  She showed him a copy
of the cult's manifesto and his eyes widened to twice their size.  "I
don't think even T'Ne and company even know half of this."

"So replacing both R'Co and D'Itu with her is a no-go.  Great."

"And if they have put their plan in motion, it'll be too late for
yours."

"We have a record of them plotting this all out.  That will work in
our favour."

"But if they can follow through with their plans, the instant R'Co
reappears, she'll be branded a traitor by the Council and executed.
This D'Itu idiot will be Leader regardless."

"See what more you can find out about him."

"I'm working on it.  What about your plans?  You want me to beam up
R'Co and take her back home?"

"No, not yet.  I still want to try to break her so she'll see how
wrong her people are in what they're doing to the other species in
their space.  Mot-Ri is just the place to do that.  I don't want to
mentally condition her.  With some species it just won't take or won't
stay if it does."

"Sunbird, in order to see the error of one's ways and change, one has
to have the ability to put oneself in the other side's shoes, to be
capable of empathy, to have a conscience.  I don't think the Gherop
are or do.  There's certainly no evidence to support your assumption."

"I'm bargaining they do.  Remember that transmission we picked up from
that one I'Nu."

"Just as Rachar was about to explode, yes.  But he was desperate for
someone to come to save them because Voyager, which he wrongly thought
was in orbit, would not."

"He was very upset that Voyager would not save them," he reiterated.

"Of course he was upset.  The planet was about to blow up with him on
it."

"But there was something in the tone of his voice.  It made me think
he was thinking; 'How can they just leave us here to die?'"

"So?"

"So carry the argument along.  If he can think: 'How can they just
leave us here to die?', it follows that, if he is so stunned that
Voyager could do such a thing, he himself would not be capable of it.
Therefore, if he would have saved someone who was in his position were
the places reversed, it follows he must be capable of empathy and have
a conscience.  If *he* has a conscience, then it is possible they all
do, it's just buried more in some than others just like Terrans or
most any other species."

"Sunbird, that entire bit of rather shaky logic hinges on one thing --
your interpretation of the tone of voice of a panicking male who knew
he was dying and was begging for help but was being denied it.  His
words could just as easily be interpreted at face value -- desperation
for rescue and anger at the ship he thought was in orbit was saving
others and not him.  No conscience involved."

"I'm hoping there was."

"And even if I'Nu had a conscience, it does not mean R'Co does.  Or
that you'll be able to break her and get her to accept your way of
thinking fast enough to thwart the machinations going on back on the
Homeworld."

He knew she was right.  He had dealt with R'Co's kind before.  Those
who were haughty and so self-assured were difficult to break without
drastic measures.  Their faith in the source of their superiority
complex had to be shaken or destroyed.  A physical injury to scar
their body.  A violation of some sort to scar their psyche.  Something
that hit them hard enough to stun them into opening their minds to a
bigger reality than their own little universe of which they were king
or queen.  Then they could begin to change their attitudes.  After
having studied R'Co, he was sure her losing her wealth, status, and
power would be enough to topple her from her pedestal.  She would have
to learn to take orders for once instead of give them, to work instead
of being pampered.  But he had hoped for at least a week with her as a
slave and learning all this to firmly entrench the lesson.  Now it
looked like he would have to find another way.

His eyes closed as a plan formulated in his mind.  It was nothing he
had not done before as an AlphaOmegan.  Then he naturally had not
thought twice about it.  Now, he was a free man and contemplating
doing something so heinous he felt physically ill.

'I can't do this,' he thought.  'I can't.  I am better than The
Protectors.  I can show mercy.'

Then memories came back to him.  The destruction of Rachar.  The
violation of New Rachar's Eden.  The blackened corpses of the people
who were supposed to have been safe on their new home.  The Gherop
certainly had shown them no mercy when they had enslaved them only to
later annihilate them and their worlds.  Did they really deserve to be
shown what they could not show themselves?

"Sunfire, find me the three biggest, meanest guards down there."

"Okay, why?"

"Don't ask questions.  Just do."

"Aye, sir."

He ran to the nearest head, barely making it in time before the
contents of his stomach came up.  When it was over, he rinsed his
mouth then stood there leaning against the counter and staring at his
reflection in the mirror, what he was planning to do continued to play
over and over in his mind.  'You have no other choice,' he assured
himself.  'She has to be broken.'

---

Sunfire watched him closely as he was physically ill then went very
quiet.  She did not know what was going through his mind right then,
but upon scanning him, she discovered there was no physical reason for
him to be physically ill as he just had been.  That meant it was a
mental reason.  He was contemplating something that turned his
stomach, literally.  She went back over their conversation and his
final order to her and she could not figure out what had happened.

The next day she wished she had and had stopped him before another
large bit of his soul had been blackened by what he had holograms of
the "three biggest, meanest guards" do to their prisoner.

---

"She has to be here somewhere," B'Elanna complained.  "I know the OPRF
complex is big, but I can't be that big."

Harry trudged along beside her.  He felt like they had walked
kilometres over in the last twenty minutes and he was more than
willing to admit defeat.  When Maire's assistant had said she was in
Building 14 and would not be back for an hour, he should have held
B'Elanna to what she had told the assistant.  She had said they would
come back later, only to change her mind the moment they had exited
Building 1 and decided to go find the woman she wanted to talk to.

"B'Elanna," he tried for the fourth time, "she's probably back in her
office now.  Let's go and see."

The half-Klingon was frustrated.  She hated failure and not being able
to find Maire amongst all the workers swarming over the huge sections
that presumably were going to result in one or more ships was getting
to her.  "She has to be here."

"Then let's try asking someone again."

"We got only a vague direction last time.  Besides, they all seem too
wrapped up in building that ship to notice anything."

"Reminds me of you when you're working on an Engineering problem."

"Hmm."

"Or trying to find Maire," he mumbled to himself.

It was not quiet enough for she heard him.  "I need to ask her a few
things."

"Then why not ask her over the Comm?  Why did we have to leave Voyager
and come here to talk to her face to face?"

"Because I don't want anyone else overhearing, that's why."

He caught a hold of her arm and tugged her to a halt.  "This isn't a
request for a consultation on some problem with the alterations, is
it?"

"No."

"What's going on, B'Elanna?  What are you up to?  It's something to do
with Tom, isn't it?  You've been terribly quiet on that subject since
we came here.  I knew you had to be thinking up some new plan."

"I have been," she confessed, pulling away, "but I've never been able
to get Maire alone for five seconds to ask her about-"

"Carey to Torres," Joe's voice called.  "We have a problem."

"I'm on my way," she groaned.  "Torres out.  See, Harry?"

"Yeah.  So what do you have planned?"

"Later.  Let's go see what's got Joe all concerned."

With a final glance around, they started for the far exit.

---

As they moved out of sight, Maire and her assistant stepped out of a
shadowy corner and watched them go.

"Thanks for the warning," Maire sighed.

The assistant frowned at B'Elanna's back.  "What do you think she
wants to ask you?"

"I don't know but I was correct and it is about Tom Paris."

"You can't avoid being alone with her forever."

"No, but maybe until Tom gets back I can."

"Hmm.  You think they recognized the Vanguard?"

"No.  It's in too many pieces and is the wrong colour or alloy for
starters.  Maybe, if we were further along in the construction and
more of the sections were fused together, then they would have
recognized her, but not yet.  How long until they can be beamed into
orbit and assembled?  That's going to be the time when there'll be the
greatest chance of their sensors detecting them and the crew asking
questions."

"Two days."

"Fine.  I approached Captain Janeway this morning with the offer to
upgrade their sensors so they can see through the dust cloud.  She
jumped at it so we'll start that tomorrow and have our modifications
in effect in time to blind them to seeing the pieces appear in orbit
or the ship when we're finished.  At least until we're ready to bring
the Vanguard's cloak online."

"Makes a lot more work, their being here and having to hide the
Vanguard from them."

"When we promised Tom a new one, we didn't know they'd need to set
down to do these alterations of theirs or we would have changed things
a bit.  But it doesn't matter.  It's merely a small complication.
Nothing we cannot handle."

They walked off in the opposite direction from B'Elanna and Harry.

---

"Something strange is going on here," Janeway remarked quietly to
Seven as they strolled through the quad between the physics and
mathematics buildings of New Dublin University.  "They picked all that
up way to quickly.  It was like they were one step ahead of us the
entire time we were explaining the Gopher Hole and yatelite and its
uses."

"They are highly intelligent and they have been isolated here for
almost twenty-five years," Seven informed her in a clipped voice.
"They are scientists.  It is only natural that they would spend those
years concentrating on their field of study therefore their ability to
comprehend what we told them today is not out of line."

"Possibly."

"I have to return to Astrometrics."

The former Borg attempted to stride away.  She would have been half
way across the square in seconds if Janeway had not grabbed her arm.

"Seven, I'd like to talk to you."

"I have work to-"

"Please?  It is important."

"Very well," she agreed with reluctance.

"Over here."  She led her over to a bench and sat.  Seven did the same
with her customary awkwardly erect posture.  Every time Janeway saw
her do this, it made her wince in sympathy.  "Seven, I wanted to
discuss recent events."

"I thought we just did."

"Not the meeting we just came from.  I mean the entire thing with
B'Elanna and Harry."

"I do not know what you mean, Captain."

"Yes, you do.  I had a chat with Neelix this morning.  He told me how
everyone's been dealing with what Naomi said the other night.
Especially you."

"What Miss Wildman said is of no concern of mine, Captain."

"I think it is.  You apparently have been very concerned about Harry
lately.  Everyone's noticed."

"I have been attempting to be a friend to Ensign Kim.  Lieutenant
Paris told me he would need one at this time."

"I think it's a bit more than that."

"Really?"

"Yes.  If it really was just you trying to be a friend to Harry, you'd
still be there for him.  But you have been avoiding him lately.
Starting immediately after Naomi's bombshell."

"I have been busy as has he."

"Hmm."

She stood and made to leave.  "Captain, this is a non-issue."

"They aren't-"

Seven never heard the end of that sentence.  She was off faster than
most would have deemed safe on the ridiculously high heels she
habitually wore.

Janeway made a move to follow her only to be intercepted by a group of
students who recognized her uniform and shanghaied her for a
discussion.  Within five minutes, the Captain had forgotten about her
intention to tell Seven there was no affair between Harry and
B'Elanna.

---

"Megan, please, wait?" Geron shouted as he rounded a bend in the
corridor and thought he saw the love of his life heading towards the
turbolift at the far end.  He broke into a run, just reaching the
doors as they were about to close behind the lift's passenger.
Slipping inside, he took a deep breath and stopped as the woman turned
to face him, expectantly.  "Oh, Jenny."

"Gee, thanks, Geron.  Nice to see you.  Computer, Deck Two.  And thank
you so much for telling Paris.  Now Meg's not talking to me either.
Do you know what it's like sharing quarters with someone who won't
speak to you?  Computer, halt turbolift.  Look, I agree Paris had the
right to know what Torres and Kim did, but where'd you get this affair
thing?  And why didn't you tell anyone?  This way big news."

"I never said anything about any affair!  As far as I know, there
isn't one.  All I told him was you and Nozawa saw Kim and Torres kiss
each other."

"You told him right before he left, didn't you?  Right when you called
me to get me to repeat what Nozawa and I'd seen in that park?  He was
there, wasn't he?  Listening in?  That's why you cut me off so quickly
when I wanted to know why you wanted me to repeat it all?"

"Yes.  I was mad at him!  He'd been horrible to Megan before he went
on that mining expedition.  She wouldn't tell me what he'd said or
done. When he came back and ended up in Sickbay, I had some pinched
fingers so went there to have them tended to.  But what do I see when
I walked in?  Megan all concerned about him and asking the Doctor to
tell him she wanted to talk to him when he woke up.  I was mad at him
already, but when she bent down and kissed him before she left...
Okay, it was only on the forehead, but still, it was a kiss."

He leaned his head back against the wall of the lift and closed his
eyes.  "Then later I found him outside of Megan's door and I just lost
it.  There he was, telling me I was blind because I couldn't see how
everyone had been treating Megan before he'd chased her away to stop
her from defending him and getting ostracized herself."  His eyes
popped open and he moved closer to her in his agitation.  "He was
being her hero yet again.  Protecting her, when that's supposed to be
my job.  I'm her... whatever I am.  I'm the one who's supposed to
protect her if she needs protecting.  I'm the one who she's supposed
to rush to Sickbay to see if I'm hurt.  I'm the one she's supposed to
be kissing, not him!"

Trying to calm him before he became so mad he forgot who she was and
tried shaking some sense into her or worse, she said his name sharply.

Geron blinked rapidly and stepped back.  "Sorry, I just... He made me
so mad.  Telling me, of all people, what was best for Megan.  Telling
me I couldn't see how everyone else was starting to treat her like
they were treating him.  How *he* was trying to keep them from hurting
her. She's mine, not his.  He had no right to do any of that."

The lift beeped, indicating it wanted to continue on its course.
Jenny told it to resume before someone called down to them, asking if
there was a problem.  "Geron, two words of advice.  One, if you want
my sister back, don't ever let Megan hear you talking about her like
she's a possession.  She'll probably deck you and never see you
again."  The doors opened at Deck Two.  "And two, she loves both of
you, just not the same way.  I never saw whatever it is she sees in
him, or you for that matter, other than your obvious good looks, but
she sees a lot more in both of you.  He's always going to be a part of
her life in some way.  You'll just have to learn to live with that."

As Jenny walked towards the Mess Hall, the turbolift doors closed
between her and Geron.  He stood there, silent for a long time,
thinking about what she had said, until the lift requested a
destination and he went to his quarters.

---

"Well, A'Nce?"

"We're still on Voyager's trail, U'Pde, but there is another trail.  A
Gherop trail."

"Which predates which."

"Voyager's is a few intervals older.  Our people's is less than an
interval old.  We've found evidence they're having engine and other
problems that could account for the delay between the two trails."

"But you are certain our people are following them.  It's not merely a
coincidence?"

"Yes."  On the display before them, he marked the path of both ships.
"There are course corrections for bo-"

"What?"

"I am picking up evidence of an explosion.  There are microscopic
fragments of refined metals and alloys."

"Was it Voyager or Sunfire?  Were they destroyed?"

"Not Voyager anyway.  There's not enough to account for something as
large as either of them having been destroyed.  It could have been a
smaller ship.  Perhaps something as big as one of our shuttles.  Or it
could have been something else entirely.  There's no real way to
know...."

"Now what?"

"It appears to have been a shuttle.  There's a third trail, one coming
as far as this point then the explosion camouflaged the trail.
Voyager continues on from this point, following the trail of the third
ship and our people followed them."

"Continue following them.  I want to overtake our people at least."

"You want to capture Voyager yourself."

U'Pde gave his First Officer a look that "capture" was the last thing
on his mind.

---

Tom Paris began the next day by vomiting again.  Since he had been
unable to eat anything since before he had resigned himself to the new
wrinkle in his plan for breaking R'Co, there was nothing to show for
his long seconds of gastric convulsions.  This plus the sleepless
night he had spent tossing and turning in his bunk had not changed his
mind from going through with his objective for the day.

"R'Co's condition?" he asked Sunfire in a hoarse voice.

"She's still asleep.  No ill effects from removing either of the
implants.  Sunbird, are you okay?"

He shed his clothes and stepped into the shower.  "No," he admitted,
"but I'll live."

"Sunbird, whatever's going on, you can talk to me about it.  You know
you can."

"I know."  He leaned his forehead against the cool wall of the shower
and let the water course over him, wishing it could wash away the
agony of what he was about to have done to the unsuspecting R'Co.
Even though he personally was not going to be participating, he felt
every bit as guilty as if he were.

---

"What is it?" the male in charge of Mining Station 718 demanded curtly
from the two ill-at-ease guards who had entered his quarters while he
was dressing for the day.

"We have a problem, sir," the senior of the two stuttered.

"What is it?  Spit it out."

"You know that Opaw that's been giving us trouble?  The one that
claims she's R'Co."

"What about her?"

"She's gone."

"Tried to escape, hmm.  Her disintegration saved us the trouble of
constantly having to discipline-"

"No, sir, I mean she's gone as in missing."

He paused in reaching for his tunic and looked at them.  "What do you
mean 'missing?'  This is Mot-Ri.  No slaves go missing.  They all have
collars on them to keep track of them."

"I can't explain it, but she's gone, collar and all."

"She has to be here somewhere.  Trace her collar."

"We tried.  There's no signal."

"Then it's clearly malfunctioning.  Check logs for the perimeter.
Were there any unexplained breaches?"

"No, sir."

He yanked on his tunic and began fastening it.  "Then she has to still
be within the confines of the mine area somewhere.  You'll just have
to keep looking for her."

"It's a little more complicated than that," the second guard mumbled.
"We pulled up the cargo manifest for the ship that brought her here.
When we first noticed she was gone, we thought we might be dealing
with a rebel plot to infiltrate us.  Send in a few of their people
wearing collars they'd deactivated so their movements couldn't traced,
have them pretend to be slaves then when the time was right, they
would sneak off and do whatever they'd been sent to do.  So we thought
if we looked at the manifest we might see some proof. Something odd
about where they'd obtained her or some of the others."

"And?"

"And there's no record of her.  All the others check out fine as do
their collars, but there's nothing on her at all.  They didn't have a
single Opaw in the shipment."

The other guard picked up the narrative.  "In fact, we contacted the
ship, her captain says they haven't carried any Opaw in the passed
four shipments.  No one knows where this one came from."

"Lock the slaves in the dormitory and search the mine area.  I want
that Opaw found."

"Yes, sir."

They practically tripped over each other in their haste to leave.

Sitting heavily on his bunk, the reports he had read on the Opaw's
behaviour came back to him.  She had made wild claims she was R'Co and
had been physically altered by some unseen individual for some unknown
purpose.  The terrible thought that she had been telling the truth
flitted through his brain.  What would happen then?  If she was
rescued or somehow was restored to her old life, she would make good
on her threat to kill them and make their children suffer.  He had
five children he had not seen in many seasons.  His tour here was to
soon be over and he finally was going to be permitted to return home
and see his family again.  Thoughts of that had been all that had kept
him going for so long.  If the Opaw was R'Co, it was unlikely he ever
would see his family again.  He could not permit that to happen.  R'Co
or not, when the Opaw was found, she would have to go.  Straight to
Gherop Hell.

---

R'Co awoke to the sounds of the other slaves in the communal dormitory
waking as well.  It was her third day on the planet and she still had
yet to find a way of proving who she was or a weakness in her
tormentor.  As she hobbled down the aisle on blistered and sunburnt
feet, she tried not to make eye contact with the other slaves who were
making their way to the serving area where they would receive their
morning rations.  She had learned the hard way last night when she had
been stumbling to her assigned cot.  Inadvertently, she had caught the
eye of another slave who clearly was suffering from some sort of
delusional personality.  He had shuffled over to her cot and chattered
away incessantly to her for almost an hour before one of the dormitory
guards came along and dragged him away to his cot.  She did not want a
repeat of that.

But she never had the chance.  A big guard came along, grabbed her,
and dragged her out of the dormitory into the already bright sunlight.
He made a beeline for the glass structure in which she had spent her
first day on the planet.

"You're the new one who claims to be a Gherop, hmm?" he remarked, his
foul smelling breath hot in her ear.  "The one who thinks she's R'Co?"

Not knowing what was going on, she kept her mouth shut.

"Yes, you are, aren't you?  Told one of the other guards you were
Gherop, all he had to do was check you out and it would prove you were
telling the truth?  Well, guess what?  We've decided to take you up on
your challenge."

"But the one who did this to me," she began, "he said he had
interfered with the scanning equipment.  It won't register me as
anything other than Opaw."

He chuckled and nodded to two other guards who were standing at the
open door of the glass structure.  "Oh, we have a way around that.  A
way that does not involve scanning equipment."

They took her into the structure and shut the door, effectively
muffling her screams of a few minutes later.

---

Sunfire did not know what to say or do.

Sunbird had not told her what he had planned for R'Co when he had
asked for her to be beamed up to Sickbay the night before.  He had
removed the special implants in R'Co's eyes that had let her see him
and the subdermal communicator from behind her ear that had let her
hear him then he had beamed her to the Holodeck where a recreation of
the surface was running.  After seeing R'Co's vitals were fine, he had
stood there for a long time, watching her, then he had run to be sick
once more before falling into bed.  The next morning, after leaving
his quarters, he had gone to the Holodeck controls and only then, as
he programmed the scenario that was to unfold, had she known what he
was up to.  She did not seriously believe he intended to go through
with it.  But he obviously did because it was happening.

'At least now you know why he kept throwing up,' she thought to
herself.  'And why he looks like he's about to again.'

Few people could stomach seeing someone raped.  Even fewer could
handle being the one who ordered it done.  For someone like Tom Paris
to do that, it was almost impossible for him to take.

---

Battered and beaten, R'Co lay on the dusty ground in a heap.  Her
garments were in tatters, her flesh was torn and bleeding in places,
her eyes were swelling and blackened from being repeatedly punched
when she had tried to fight back against her attackers.  They were so
swollen, she almost could not see her rescuer, a pale stranger with
hair the colour of the Gherop sun and eyes the colour of the sky on
her favourite vacation planet as he stood off to one side.  He called
out for "two directly to Sickbay" and she felt a tingle as the scene
around her changed to an unfamiliar room.  She no longer was lying on
the ground, but on a bed.

"I am a trained medic," the stranger in the high-necked blue clothing
said in a very deep voice.  "Lie still and I will take care of you."

There was a sharp sting on the side of her neck and a soft hiss then
the pain she felt ebbed away and her head began to feel fuzzy.

"I am sorry this happened to you," he continued, making short work of
her injuries.  "Slaves don't have an easy life, I'm afraid.
Especially in places like Mot-Ri.  Their masters don't see them as
anything other than property, property to be used and abused as they
like with no regard to what the slaves want.  It's very unfair to all
involved. People who might have a lot to contribute to bettering a
society are marginalized or destroyed all because they aren't the
right species. Such a waste."  He shook his head.  "But look who I'm
talking to."  He offered her a self-deprecating smile.  "You'd know
better than I, having seen it from both sides now, R'Co.  I suppose
you'd like a shower before I start changing you back to Gherop?  Most
people who've had this happen to them want one."

"You know who I am?" she whispered, incredulously.

He nodded.

"You're working with him?"

"No, I came to rescue you from him.  And he's long gone now.  You have
nothing to worry about from him again.  Come.  The shower's this way."

Rising from the bed, R'Co followed him, not sure what to believe.

"The shower is a bit different than you are used to."  He gave her a
quick demonstration of the controls.  "Okay?"

She nodded.

He gave her a sympathetic look.  "I know you're feeling all sorts of
things, R'Co.  That's normal.  A very bad thing happened to you, but
it wasn't your fault.  It was theirs and indirectly your society's.
The ones who did this to you, they have been raised to think they can
use anyone however they wish because they are the masters and the
slaves have no legal standing in your society, no legal channels by
which they can complain about their treatment.  It's not hard to see
why those guards and the rest of your people feel no remorse for
things like what was done to you.  But it was not your fault.
Remember that.  Now, I'll leave you to your shower.  There's a robe
over there you can put on after your shower.  Towels are here.  I'll
come for you when you're through."

When she was alone, she did not immediately get into the shower, but
removed her ruined clothing and stood in front of the mirror for a
long time, staring at herself.  Though he had healed her, the bruises
and lacerations still faintly were visible on her unfamiliar Opaw
skin. She looked at each of the marks, remembered how it had been
inflicted, remembered the sting of the blow or the pressure of the
hands or arm around her, remembered how each and every one of those
marks were souvenirs of her greatest sexual experience ever.

She restrained a smile of satisfaction and a shiver of ecstasy as the
memory replayed itself.  She still planned to track down the one in
the blue-black clothes and kill him along with the others who had so
humiliated her on Mot-Ri.  They could not be permitted to live after
how they had treated the future Leader of the Gherop Empire.  But
before she personally executed the guards, she would thank her three
rapists for unknowingly making her biggest fantasy come true when she
had thought there was no way it ever would.  Long after they were
nothing but space dust, she would remember the experience and smile.

But she did not dare smile at the moment.  She had no idea if her
rescuer was watching her or not.  If he was, she was certain, given
his comments about how this was not her fault, suddenly seeing her
grinning like an idiot would be rather a surprise to him.  Had anyone
else been in her position, she was sure they would be reacting
precisely as this one expected her to be -- humiliated, angry,
suicidal even.  So she maintained the façade of doing just that.  At
least until she knew what was going on and could gage the situation
properly.

---

"I just don't get it," Sam sighed to Neelix, seated in the next chaise
lounge over.  "I'd expected Naomi to be furious we came here since it
was keeping her from her Tommy, but this isn't quite what I had in
mind."  She gestured to her little girl happily playing on the
spacious back lawn with the son and daughter of two biologists she had
met at a lecture the day before.  Kieran and Kaatje Kirkpatrick's
children were of the roughly same age as Naomi and the three of them
had hit it off instantly when they had been introduced only half an
hour earlier.

"Perhaps whatever Maire said to her in the shuttle and the
conversation we and the Captain had with Naomi afterwards cleared the
air," the child's godfather suggested.

"Perhaps.  I still wish they'd tell me what they talked about.  The
two of them were in the shuttle for quite a while.  They had to have
said something to one another.  They did come out holding hands.
Something clearly happened."

Neelix laid a hand over Sam's where it lay limply on the chair arm.
"When Naomi's ready, she'll talk to us.  In the meantime, let her
enjoy herself.  It's rare for her to have an opportunity to play with
other children."

She nodded and smiled as the younger of the Kirkpatrick children did a
flying tackle to tag Naomi and all three of them went tumbling down in
a squealing heap on the grass.  The family's dogs, who had been doing
their best to join in the game of tag quickly joined the tangle of
arms and legs.

There was a shrill whistle from behind them and the dogs froze, perked
up their ears then pelted away from the kids and towards Sam and
Neelix.  The adults turned in their chairs to watch the canine attack
force charging Kaatje, who stood in the patio doorway a couple of
metres away.

"Supper will be just a few more minutes," the lady of the house told
her guests then disappeared back into the kitchen, shutting the door
behind herself and the animals.

"And they're the other strange thing," Sam whispered to the Talaxian
as they settle back into their original position watching the
children.

"The Kirkpatricks?"

"This morning I had you look after Naomi and bring her here because I
had to drop some things off at the University?"

"You wanted me to bring Naomi and meet you here later because she
would be bored going with you."

"Right.  Yesterday, when I met the Kirkpatricks and we got talking
about various things, they mentioned something they had been working
on.  A project they wouldn't go into the details of.  Anyway, I said I
would drop off some information I had and when my meeting this morning
ended early, I went to their lab to drop the information off.  I
figured I was in the building anyway, I might just as well drop it off
while I was there.  Save bringing it here and them having to take it
to work with them tomorrow."

"And?"

"And when I get to their lab and Kieran answers the door, the look on
his face was... I don't know.  It was like he was hiding something."

"What do you mean, hiding something?"

"I don't know.  It was this impression I came away with.  For
starters, he wouldn't let me into the lab.  Said they were running an
experiment they didn't want compromised.  That's fine.  I've been
there myself and had someone ruin the test by coming in at the wrong
time."

Neelix grimaced.  "I'm still really sorry about that."

Smiling, she gave his hand a squeeze.  "That wasn't a slam at you,
Neelix, and it's okay.  I was able to redo it.  But with Kieran...
There was more to it than what he was saying.  I could feel it."

"You think they're doing something illegal or something?"

"I don't know, but I'd dearly love to know what's going on in that
lab."

He checked over his shoulder to see their hosts still were in the
house then leaned towards his companion.  "That could be arranged."

"What do you mean?"

"If you're worried they might be up to something-"

"Neelix.  Are you actually suggesting break and enter?  That's
illegal."

"If they're up to something and it could jeopardize Voyager....  You
did say you gave them information for the project they were working
on."

"And if that information helps them do whatever and it jeopardizes us,
I'd be partly to blame?  Neelix, that's reaching."

"True, but if it would help you sleep better..."

"Kids, go wash up," Kieran's voice announced behind them.  "Supper's
ready."

"Do it," Sam told Neelix, referring to his suggestion.

He nodded and helped her out of her chair.

---

Hours later, while R'Co was sleeping off the surgery to return her
features to that of a Gherop, Tom removed the band from around his
neck and coughed a little.  Free of the modifier, his voice returned
to its normal tenor.

"Sunbird... We'll be in orbit of the Homeworld in five hours," she
said, changing her mind about talking to him about what he had done.

"Good.  Have they gone to the Council yet?"

"Not yet.  There's been a bit of an incident.  Two of the ships in
orbit brushed each other.  There was an evacuation of part of the
surface in case there was a crash."

"Good.  Maybe R'Co will be ready to return home in time to prevent
them from having the chance to talk to them."

"You really think so?"

"I don't know.  This one, she's a bit of an enigma.  I can't help but
think there's something with her that isn't quite right.  I just don't
know quite what it is, but there's something...."  He stared
thoughtfully at the door to Sickbay.  "I don't know."

"Her readings say she's waking."

"Beam her to the holodeck."

"Done."

"Replicate some plyzine gas."

"So you are going to try to mentally condition her?"

"Just make her more suggestible."

"Usual dosage for the gas?"

"For now.  Standard precautions in place."

Tom held out his hand and a hypospray materialized on his palm.  He
injected himself with the contents of the vial then she beamed it away
again.  "Wish me luck," he said, returning the modifier to around his
throat.  He groaned.  "I hate this thing.  Hurts."

She chuckled.  "I don't know.  I think it makes you sound sexier."

He half-smiled.  "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome."

---

"Mr. Neelix, what are you doing?"

Neelix froze at the sound of Tuvok's voice behind him.

"I repeat, what are you doing Mr. Neelix?"

Seeing he had no choice, the Talaxian turned from the console and
tried to bluff his way out of things.  "You see, Mr. Vulcan, I had
this idea that I was testing out."

"What idea was that?"

"Oh, well," he tried to stall and returned to reading the data on the
screen.  "I started thinking that the dust cloud gives our sensors
trouble when we try to navigate through it so I was wondering if there
was any other potential difficulties for the sensors."

Tuvok consulted the settings Neelix had imput into the sensors but had
yet to give the command to execute.  "So you decided to try to scan a
laboratory in the Biology building on the campus of New Dublin
University?"

"It's the lab of two people I met yesterday.  Friends of Sam's, Ensign
Wildman's.  I know they'll be there right now so I figured if the
sensors told me they weren't there, then we'd know there was problem
with them."  Neelix mentally patted himself on the back.  The line he
had just fed the Security Chief was a brilliant bit of thinking on his
feet if he did say so himself.

"Mr. Neelix, had you related this thought to me you would have been
told such a test already had been performed just yesterday noon."  He
reached over and blanked the controls.  "You also would have been told
life support on this section of the ship is to be disengaged in less
than one hour so alterations maybe done to the environmental controls
for this area."

"Oh, well then I guess I should leave."  He gave Tuvok one of his
half- smiles then hurried out of the room.

Behind him, the Vulcan frowned at the Talaxian's back then at the
console.

---

Chakotay dismissed Nozawa who had brought the visitor from the
transporter room to the First Officer's office.

"I appreciate you seeing me on such short notice, Commander," the New
Kildarean smiled.

"What can I do for you, Declan?"

He handed him a padd.  "Just a few questions regarding your EMH's
holomatrix."

"A few?"  Chakotay blinked at the long list before him.

"Do you have time to answer them?"

"I'll answer what I can, but some of this is beyond me."

"Who can answer them?"

"The Chief Engineer would be the best one, but she's busy as you
probably know.  The Doctor himself could answer some of them."

"Perhaps we could go to Sickbay then?  He can answer what he can and I
probably can figure out the rest if I can look at the holocontrols."

"There's a bit of a problem there."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't told anyone else about my ECH idea."

"And this would be because...?"

"I don't know how some would take it.  Everyone is focused on getting
us home.  When we get home we won't need any Emergency Counselling
Holographic programme therefore they might regard my working towards
creating one to be a lack of faith in this technology that's supposed
to get us to the Alpha Quadrant.  They won't see it as having a backup
plan just in case the Gopher Hole fails."

"So you are trying to keep in their good graces by not telling them?
I guess I can understand that.  Perhaps then we can say I'm interested
in the concept of the EMH programme and that's why I'm here.  It is
not entirely the truth nor is it entirely a lie.  I am interested in
his programme."

"Fine.  We'll play it that way.  Sickbay's this way."  He led him out
of the office and down the corridor.

"Commander?  You said everyone is focused on getting home?"

"Yes?"

"From what I've heard from Maire and from Nana O'Connell, there are
some who aren't focused on home but on a Tom Paris.  Is it true
there's one of your crew somewhere in the area and you're leaving him
behind?"

He preceded him into the lift then called for Deck Five.  "Tom Paris
is no longer a part of this crew.  He left."

"Seems a strange thing to do when you're so close to getting home.
The guy didn't have anything to go home to?"

"No.  He was cashiered out of Starfleet, disowned by his illustrious
family, and later was captured while supposedly working for the Maquis
then spent time in prison.  He's a liar and murderer and, quite
frankly, the Alpha Quadrant is a far better place without him."

"He can't be that bad.  He must have some redeeming qualities.  The
way I hear it, he was a part of this crew for some time and held a
position of some authority.  Fourth in command of the ship."

"It was a mistake.  He'd fooled everyone into thinking he was just
misunderstood and contrite regarding his past mistakes."

"Fooled everyone including you?"

The doors opened to Deck Five and Chakotay walked out, not meeting
Declan's gaze or answering his question.

---

"Well?"

Sitting in the chair before Sam's desk, Neelix shook his head.
"Lieutenant Commander Tuvok caught me before I could initiate the
scan."

"What did he say?"

"I gave him a story about testing the sensors.  I think he believed
me.  I hope anyway."

"Why don't you just trying from somewhere else?"

"He'll be watching for that and secondly, Engineering has scheduled an
upgrade on the sensors.  They'll be offline now.  That's why I had to
do this first thing this morning."

"I see."

"We could always take a tricorder and go there to scan the lab."

"Neelix, they are geneticists.  Standard precautions dictate all
genetics labs and most biology labs in general well shielded.  The
idea is to keep out anything that could corrupt the test results or
worse, alter the test subjects.  Many accidents and hideous
metamorphoses happened in the past before the rules about
precautionary shielding were in place.  Monsters were created by stray
bursts of radiation and such.  The ship's sensors would be strong
enough to cut through it, but not a tricorder."

"Well, there's always the old fashioned way.  Actually break and
enter."

"I can just hear us trying to explain that one now."

"We only have to explain if we get caught."

"That makes me feel a lot better."

---

"You wished to see me, Doctor?"

Seated behind his desk, the EMH looked up from the notes he was
compiling for the lecture he was due to give later that day to the
best and brightest of New Kildare's medical minds.  "Seven.  Yes, come
in." He abandoned his notes and stood.  "I've been trying to talk to
you for a couple of days now, but with everything going on, there just
hasn't been the chance.  It's about Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim."

"Doctor, I do not have time for gossip.  There is far too much to do."

He grabbed her arm before she could leave.  "But this is not gossip.
At least according to one of the crew who spoke directly to Mr. Neelix
who spoke to the two parties directly involved, it is the truth."

"Regardless, I do not have time for this."

"Is there a problem?" the Commander asked, standing in the doorway
between the main room and the Doctor's office.  His gaze was firmly
fixed on the restraining hand the EMH had on the former Borg's arm.
Over his shoulder a stranger watched with interest.

"No, Commander," Seven insisted, removing her arm from the hologram's
hand.  "Excuse me.  I have work to do."  She strode out without a
backward glance.

"What was that all about?"

"A personal matter," the Doctor dismissed.  "What can I do for you,
gentlemen?"

"Declan here is a computer expert who's interested in your programme.
He has a few questions he'd like to ask and would like to take a look
at the holoemitters and controls if you would permit?"

"I have a lecture to prepare for, but if he can be brief I don't see
why I can't oblige him."

"Thank you."

---

"So that's everything that has been happening in your absence," Tom
informed his "guest," seated across the table from him.

For the passed hour she had listened to the man she thought was her
rescuer and she was having trouble accepting the situation currently
evolving on the Homeworld.  He had recounted the plotting and
machinations of the major players and played for her the recordings he
had of the conversations regarding the conspiracy against her.  It all
had sounded overwhelmingly plausible, given how neatly the pieces fit
together yet she still was uncertain whether to believe him or not.
Not that she let on.  The entire time he had been "catching her up" as
he called it, she had been curled up in her chair, arms wrapped around
her knees, eyes staring at nothing.

"How did you get those recordings?" she finally asked in a small
voice.

"I was tracking the one who kidnapped you," he lied.  "I knew he would
be going after you so the monitoring devices were set up.
Unfortunately, he got to you before I did and you ended up on Mot-Ri."

"How did he get me out of my bedchamber?"

"Beamed you up."

"Beamed?  Like that ship Voyager does to people."

"They have the technology to do matter transference, yes.  But he is
not associated with Voyager at all nor am I."

"What did he want?"

"To make you suffer for what happened at Rachar and New Rachar.  Those
names mean anything to you?"

"T'Do died at Rachar."

"And so did almost all of the Rachar and those who escaped, later were
massacred at New Rachar."

"The slaves."

"Yes, the slaves.  Innocent people who were slaves through no fault of
their own.  Like you were for the passed few intervals."

"Why was he after me?  I had nothing to do with the Rachar."

"He is mixed up in here," he explained, tapping his forehead.  "His
plans always seem logical to him, but most often others do not see
it."

She lapsed into silence.  "Why are you helping me?" she asked after
awhile.

"To be honest, it's not entirely altruistic," he admitted.  "I do want
something."

'Here it comes,' she thought.  'Money, power, status, whatever.'

"I want you to never forget what's happened to you."

'Like I could forget.'

"Like you could forget," he echoed, though she was sure she had not
spoken.  "You've seen something first hand that very few others in
your political system or society have ever seen.  What it is like to
be a slave.  You've lived it, if only for a short time.  You know what
it's like, how they are treated.  Once we get you back to the
Homeworld and explain to the Council or your people or whomever would
have to be told what they're up to so they could be stopped, once that
happens, you'll be Leader.  If anyone can stop what happened to you
over the passed few days from ever happening to anyone else, it will
be you.  With your position and unique perspective, you can do so much
to make life better for *all* of your people, not merely those who are
Gherop and know how to curry favour with those in power."

"So I'm supposed to change the entire Gherop system, am I?"

"Don't you want to after what you've seen?  Everything that's happened
to you while you were a slave?  Those same things are happening to
everyone on Mot-Ri, to others elsewhere, every minute of every day.
You are in the position to stop that.  You honestly don't want to?"

She returned to thinking.

He stood up and pushed his chair into the table.  "I have to check
things on the Bridge so I'll let you think for awhile.  And ponder
this while you do: What would your life be like if I had not come
along when I did?"

With that he left her.

His words shook her for a moment and she raised one hand up to feel
the reassuring Gherop features she once more bore.  'Had her rescuer
not come to stop them, how would things have turned out?  Would those
guards have killed her once they were tired of what they were doing to
her?  Would they have returned her to the general population, looking
like she had so everyone would know what had been done to her?  Would
they have come back again the next time they felt acute sexual
frustration and eased it by using her again?'

There never had been this uncertainty when she had been "playing" with
her lovers.  They knew it was "play" and would stop eventually once
she and they were sated.  With guards, it had been real.  It had not
been about her pleasure, only theirs, and there was no "safe word" to
end things.  Gone had been the certainty that in time it would all be
over and no one would die.  She had relished that uncertainty, that
finally having crossed the line from "play" to reality.  It had added
a thrill for her and made her experience a level of satisfaction she
had thought she never would achieve.

She closed her eyes.  The memory of what they had done to her
returning.  Their taunts and slurs and coarse descriptions of what
they were going to do to her.  Their egging each other on to do worse
and worse things to her.  Their fists and other parts of them
inflicting terrible physical pain on her.  She tried to block the
memories, knowing what could happen if she continued to replay them.
But hard as she tried, she could not do it.  They kept coming and so
eventually did she.

---

"Sunfire, her readings?" Tom croaked, rubbing his throat.

"The gas has been deployed, but it doesn't seems to be working.  Her
anxiety level is rising but only slightly."

"So it's not impairing her mental controls, she won't have the
strength to forget things."

"Do you really think torturing her like this will work?"

At the mention of the word "torturing," his eyes closed for a brief
instant then the opened again and he was all business.  "If not, I
don't know what will.  I don't have anything left in my arsenal."  He
did not mention the one option he *did* have left -- destroying the
planet.  He wanted to forget that unless absolutely necessary.

"I hope this is all worth it then."

*As do I,* Zjna whispered to him in his head.

Realizing she had seen what he had had done, Tom felt the bile rising
in his throat and ran for his quarters to be ill once more.

With the majority of her attention preoccupied with Tom, Sunfire only
distractedly noticed the change in R'Co's readings.  Had she been
paying full attention, she might have properly interpreted what the
female in the holodeck was experiencing at that precise moment and
remarked upon it to Tom.  But she was not and had never seen this
reaction in a Gherop before so she misinterpreted it as some sort of
spasm due to the injuries that had been inflicted upon her and did not
recognize it for the Gherop form of an orgasm it was.

---

---

"Their project is dwarf sunflowers?" Sam whispered to Neelix.

The trespassers were standing in the middle of Kieran and Kaatje's lab
staring at a large tub of short yellow and brown flowers sitting on
the middle of a low lab table.  They were the only things on the
table.

She picked up a padd of notes.  "They're developing a new strain of
dwarf sunflowers to produce seeds with double the thiamine and niacin
of regular sunflower seeds."

"Why?"

"I don't know."  She returned the padd to the bench beside her.  "Why
would they be so secretive about this?"

He handed her a padd he found on another bench.  "This might explain
why.  It has yesterday's date on it."

Sam glanced it over then groaned, her eyes closing and her head
falling limply back from her shoulders.  "They were doing a light
sensitivity test and I nearly ruined it."

"I don't understand."

Opening her eyes and straightening her posture, she handed him back
the padd.  "They're called 'sunflowers' because they follow the sun
around during the day.  It's a subtle movement, but it is observable
if you have the patience to sit there for hours and watch them.
Kieran and Kaatje were worried what they'd done to genetically alter
these plants had left them unable to photosynthesize well enough to
support such unnatural seed production.  The original plants don't
have such big seeds so they don't need to devote as much energy to
seed production as these plants will have to.  If the plants can't
handle it, Kieran and Kaatje are back at the drawing board."

"Why not just use the large version of the plants?  They'd be used to
growing such big seeds."

"I don't know.  There probably is some reason why they want them
small.  Easier to harvest certainly.  Perhaps the location where they
want to grow them gets a lot of wind and taller plants would be blown
over.  Any number of reasons.  Come on.  Let's get out of here before
someone catches us.  I feel silly enough as it is without having to
admit it to anyone.  Imagine me thinking they're up to something
nefarious.  It's just so embarrassing."

He nodded, sharing his discomfiture.

---

One the lab was empty again, Kieran, Kaatje, and their guest stepped
out of the next room where they had been watching the "visitors."
Kaatje stepped across to the door to the hall, checked outside to see
it was empty, and locked the door again, this time deadbolting it.

"What do we do now?" Kieran asked the third member of their party.

"Keep the clone underwraps for now," he was instructed, "and keep the
flowers in case those two or someone else gets curious again."

"Understood."

"I hope Tom Paris finishes what he's doing soon and gets back here.
I'm tired and anxious to get this finished so we can all rest."

"As are we all," Kaatje concurred.

---

Sunfire was concerned about Sunbird.  As she fretted over him, he sat
at the desk in his quarters, checked the vital signs she should have
been monitoring instead of worrying about him, then he started to
frown and consulted the Gherop database they had amassed.  She moved
from feeling concerned to disturbed when he called up the recording of
the rape and started watching it closely.  He already was pale and
always looked about ready to run for the nearest bathroom.  His
replaying it seemed foolish to her and self-torture.  Of course,
knowing him, self- torture was something he was prone to do.

"Sunbird, I don't think your watching this is wise."

"I have to."

"No, Sunbird, please-"

"There's something there."

"What?"

"I don't know."

"Then you'll be sure to find it."  It was a lame joke and it deserved
the response she received -- none at all.

"I don't know what it is about this one, but something about her
readings.  It's making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up."

"That's never means anything good."

"No, it doesn't."

"So you think there's something wrong about what happened when the
holograms raped her."

He grew a little paler at the word "rape" but kept his seat.  "I don't
know.  There was something that struck me at the time as odd, an
impression of something, but I don't know what.  I just saw it again
in the readings."

"It was a rape.  Nothing special or creative really.  Three
belligerent monsters versus one cowering victim.  As for what you
might have just seen, she probably was thinking about it and
cringing."

"I don't...." Frowning, he stopped, returned the time index to the
instant the door to the glass structure had closed then checked an
entry in the Gherop medical database they had copied then slowly
watched the rape replay second by second.  When it reached the end, he
watched it again, this time at normal speed.  "I don't believe it."

"What?  What did you find?"

"She climaxed four times by my count."

"What?"

"During the rape, she experienced at least four separate and distinct
orgasms."  For Sunfire's benefit, he fast-forwarded to the relevant
time indexes.  "Here.  Here.  Here.  And here.  Her vital signs prove
it.  I didn't recognize it for what it was until I cross-indexed her
strange readings from a few minutes ago with the Gherop medical
database trying to figure out what was going on.  I knew I'd seen them
before and I was right.  Different species exhibit different signs
when they reach that point of climax during sexual intercourse and it
lasts for different lengths of time from species to species and
individual to individual.  These are the classic signs for a Gherop.
See?  The flushing here and here.  And the-"

"So she climaxed.  So what?  It does happen.  As much as evolved
species wish to think differently, their body's can experience
physical release even if their minds don't.  Basically, an orgasm is a
response to stimuli.  Friction brings blood to-"

"I know what the biological explanation for an orgasm is, Sunfire, but
there's something about the look on her face.  Especially here."
Again he fast-forwarded, this time to the point the holograms of the
attackers had finished with her, but moments before he himself had
appeared on the scene to "rescue" her from them.

"Sunbird-"

"I've seen a look a lot like it before.  A couple of times."  His
voice took on a far off sound.  "B'Elanna sometimes would get it after
we'd surpassed ourselves in the great sex department.  For a long time
I felt upset if she didn't have that look on her face after it was
over. I figured it hadn't been good enough for her even though she
said it was."

Sunfire did not want to hear about the hated B'Elanna Torres and her
and Sunbird's love life.  She had hoped now that they were permanently
away from Voyager Sunbird would get over his dalliance with that
"Klingon bitch" as she, in her jealousy, had come to call her. While
she knew there was no possibility of Sunbird and herself ever being a
couple in the Biblical sense, she still held out hope for the two of
them in the romantic sense.  Sure, it was very unusual.  Most people
claimed a captain's first love always is his, her or its ship, but
never in the literal sense.  She hoped to change that.  But only if he
forgot B'Elanna Torres and survived his plans for the immediate
future.

"Sunbird, this was rape.  I think you're grasping at straws, trying to
find an out so you won't feel the guilt you do for having arranged to
have done to her what you did.  It would be far easier for you to
start feeling better about yourself if you could just say: 'Yeah, I
did something awful, but it's okay because she didn't mind. In fact,
she got off on it so I can stop beating myself up for it.'  It's not
going to be that easy, Sunbird.  The chance that she did mentally as
well as physically get off on being raped is extremely slim.  She'd
have to be one Hell of a kinky soul to have enjoyed being violated
like that."

"But it is possible.  Remember that Klingon- What was his name?  The
one Bartoq was sent to get close to and ended up in the Infirmary for
two weeks after the Mission.  He was in a position of power just like
R'Co.  Not as high up as her, but the same idea.  He was heavily into
S&M and his Master didn't take kindly to Bartoq trying to take his
plaything away."

"That one was a slave because it released him from the pressure of
being in control and command all the time."

"So maybe it's the same story with R'Co.  What do we know about her
sex life?"

"She's reputed to have had quite the string of lovers.  There even
were some discreet rumours about her and her cousin T'Do.  The Gherop
do have a concept of incest, but second cousins are almost, but not
quite acceptable partners."

"What about her habits?  Turn-ons?"

"No actual data on that.  Just that there have supposedly been a lot
of lovers and they seem to disappear after she's finished with them.
Nothing unusual for a member of the ruling family of Gherop or many
worlds really.  You don't want discarded lovers hanging about,
potentially causing trouble for you.  Bragging about having had you
and whether you were good or not.  That kind of thing."

He frowned.  "I don't think this is going to work.  If I'm right and
she was not as wounded mentally as she was physically, she's not going
to be the least bit shaken by her experience therefore it's doubtful
she'll change her mind about how her people treat their slaves."

"And nothing will change."

"And yet more species will be wiped out when they try to rebel as the
Rachar did."  He closed his eyes and buried his face in his palms as
he leaned back in his seat.  "The Rachar can't have died in vain.
There has to be a lesson learned, some good has to come out of it."

"Sunbird, this is all supposition.  You might be wrong.  It's possible
she is just as shell-shocked as she appears."

"'Might be.'  'It's possible.'"  His hands dropped.  "What if I'm
right and she's not affected at all?  I didn't have as long with her
as I needed."

"We'll be in orbit of the Homeworld in less than a minute."

"Any evidence they've found our bugs."

"Not the bugs yet, but a couple of scientists have stumbled across the
'cosmic noise' from the transmissions to me.  I don't know how far
they'll get with figuring out what it really is.  Those who work with
them are lobbying for them to pack it in for the next few intervals so
everyone can join in the Ceremony festivities.  They've nearly
convinced one of them and the other seems to be waffling."

"Let me know either way."  Wearily, he rose.  "Back to it."  He re-
entered the holodeck where he had created a room for her to stay and
not have to worry about her wandering off and trying to access
Sunfire's systems.  A polite press of the announcer beside her
"quarters" door then he entered them.  "We're here, R'Co"

Not having moved from her chair while he had been gone, R'Co turned
her head to him and frowned.  "Where?"

"Your Homeworld.  Time for you to return to your people and start
enlightening them."

Her eyes slowly shifted from him and to her updrawn knees.

"R'Co?  That is your plan, isn't it?  To tell your people what you've
learned about how your people treat others?"

She did not answer and he became worried.

"If that *isn't* what you plan to tell them, what do you plan to say?"

She answered with a non-answer.  "How will I explain my absence?"

"The truth's always good."

"They won't believe it without proof."

"There's your word and they can check with the personnel at Mot-Ri.
They'll confirm your story.  It is doubtful anyone will admit to what
happened to you just before I found you.  Everyone there knows it goes
on but they turn a blind eye to it.  But the rest, they should admit
to it.  As long as whoever questions them about it is subtle and
discreet and doesn't tell them why he or she wants to know then the
truth should come out.  Have some minor clerk do the asking so it
won't make it sound like an official inquiry."

She nodded somewhat distractedly and he was not sure if she had heard
him.

"R'Co," he tried again, almost begging, "you have to do this.  You
have to change your people and your society.  You will be their Leader
in a few intervals.  You can lead by example.  Tell them what you have
learned.  Show them how to make things better for *all* of your
people, not merely the Gherop.  You can do this, R'Co.  I know you
can.  You are a strong person and soon to be their Leader.  You can
teach them how to be a better people."

R'Co's dark grey eyes flitted to his and in that brief instant he saw
what he had been hoping he would not see.  Without a word, he exited
the holodeck.

Once the door had closed behind him, he adjusted the parts per million
of the gas in the hopes she would be lulled into accepting his
arguments.  But the majority of him knew there was little hope left of
that.

"Have you thought about giving her an Implant," the ship suggested.
"We could strip it of all its AlphaOmegan commands and functions
except for the cloak and give it only one command -- for her to change
the Empire to be the way we want."

"Her brain's physiology would have to be closely studied then
simulations run and the Implant modified to properly work within her
brain.  That would take too long."

Sunfire went on with other ideas she had formulated only he did not
listen to any of them.  Throughout his discussion with R'Co, he had
watched her body language.  He had seen others who had been subjected
to torture and/or rape and she was doing a good job of imitating them,
but it was only an imitation.  Had she truly been what she was
pretending -- totally demoralized -- the look in her eyes would have
been different.  And he could not get out of his mind that look on her
face when he had "rescued" her.

*So much for your brilliant idea,* Camet sneered at him.  *You
compromised your precious principles.  You did to her something you
swore you never would do to anyone.  You wantonly tortured another
creature and it was all for nothing.  And you claim you're better than
we are.*

Realizing Camet was right and he was no better, Tom thought about
abandoning his plans.  Some part of his mind did not like that idea.
It punished him for thinking of quitting and for his impending failure
by taking him back to New Rachar when he had visited for the second
time.  Tom was there.  He could smell the burnt flesh and vegetation
so strong he could almost taste it.  He could hear the moans of pain
and the last gasps for breath by the dying.  Because of what had
happened, his soul was bleeding and it had to be cauterized.  He knew
there was only one way to do that -- admit failure of his plan and
take his only recourse.

"This isn't going to work," he whispered to himself.

"Sunbird, it still might.  Send her back to her people and see what
she does.  I'm sure she'll surprise-"

"You catalogued all of the ships in orbit?" he interrupted.

"Yes.  There were only a few more who had arrived since we last were
here."

"I want to see the cargo manifests," he said, walking towards his
quarters.

---

"We have searched everywhere, sir," the guard confessed to his
superior.  "We've used every piece of scanning equipment we possess.
Overturned every rock, checked out every worked-out section of the
mine, even searched outside of the perimeter and could find no trace
of her.  She's gone."

The commanding officer on Mot-Ri was not pleased to hear this in the
least.  "Assemble our personnel outside immediately."

"Yes, sir."

As his underling rushed off to call the formation, he himself sat on
the edge of his desk.  Still running through his mind was the thought
R'Co had been here and he was never going to see his family again.  He
had to figure out some way to salvage this.  He was going to see his
family again and no pampered official was going to threaten that.

---

The older Gherop shook his head at his younger companion who was
practically bouncing off of the walls of the cargo bay they were
supposed to be cleaning.  "The young are so excitable," he grumbled to
himself.  "So what if we're at the Homeworld and the festivities for
the Ceremony are set to begin in an interval.  It's not like we're
liable to be invited to any of them," he shouted to his colleague, now
somewhere on the other side of the bay.

"But we're here!" was the response.  "We're here where it's all going
to happen.  This is something we can tell our children."

"I don't have any children and you have about as much chance of
finding a mate and having children as you do of being invited to sit
at R'Co's right hand during the feast after the Ceremony.  You're a
low level cleaner, just like me.  Not exactly a great profession to
have if one is looking for a mate."

The young one reappeared from behind a stack of crates with his broom.
"But I won't always be a cleaner," he declared with the confidence of
youth.  "One day I'll be accepted into the soldier training and become
a soldier and then Captain of one of our ships and I'll have my pick
of mates and-"

The old Gherop laughed at him.  "Sure, sure you will.  And I'll be the
Leader of the Empire someday."

"But I will!"  So intent was he on what he was saying, he did not
notice what he was doing with his broom and its handle struck the
crate nearest him.

"Careful!"  He rushed over to grab the broom away from him.  "You know
what's in those crates?"

"No."

"Read the packing information."

He stepped around to the side of the crate, read the markings on it
then blanched.

"Exactly.  Now, come on.  We have more places to clean.  And this
time, be more careful."

They left the bay never noticing there was one less crate than there
should have been according to the numbering on the packing
information.

---

R'Co did not see her "saviour" again before she was beamed off of the
ship the next day.

He had contacted her to tell her she was going home immediately and
would be deposited in the hall outside of the Council Chambers where
T'Ne, N'Tra, and D'Itu were about to lay out their case against her.
After being told where the conspirators had hidden both the Crown
Jewels and the documents she supposedly had stolen, she was directed
to a box containing a collection of datacrystals laying previously
unnoticed by her on a table in the far corner of the room.
Maintaining the pretence of overwhelmed victim, she unfolded herself
from her chair, straightened her clothing, and went to the table for
the box. The moment it was in her hand, she felt a tingle and the room
around her changed into a familiar hallway.  She looked around and saw
a young clerk emerging from an office.  A beckoning gesture was made
to the younger female.  R'Co whispered an instruction in her ear then
motioned for her to go.  The young female nodded and scurried away.
The future Leader made her way around the corner and down the hall.

The two guards outside of the Council Chamber snapped to attention as
they recognized R'Co.  They opened the door for her, surreptitiously
giving each other inquiring looks behind their future Leader's back.
Each had heard of the test T'Ne claimed R'Co had set up for Security,
but they had not heard of anyone managing to find her yet.  They
dearly hoped some of their colleagues had found her and that was why
she was making a reappearance now.  The alternative was she had grown
tired of waiting for them to find her and if that was the case, some
heads were liable to be forcibly separated from their owners because
of the ineptitude of said owners.

Her muted clothing also was a bit of a shock to them too.  Everyone
had heard and seen R'Co's over-the-top outfits, but no one had ever
seen her in something as downright demure as the shapeless grey
garments she now wore.  Shrugging to themselves, they closed the doors
behind her and took up their posts once more.

---

"Sunfire, what did she say to her?"

The ship amplified the whispered instruction R'Co had given her
underling.

"Have internal security check for monitoring devices in D'Itu's and my
apartments and T'Ne and N'Tra's offices," R'Co had ordered.  "And
there should be a ship in orbit that they cannot identify.  It may be
hidden somehow.  They must find it and have it seized immediately.  I
will be in the Council Chamber.  Report to me there when they find
anything."

"They can't see us," Sunfire reminded him.

He nodded.  "Yes, I know.  Beam up the bugs.  You're still tapped into
their internal security?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Can you hear what's going on in the Council Chamber?"

"No, only see who's in there.  Apparently they don't want what's said
in the Council Chamber monitored by anyone, even their own people."

"Bug it then."

"Done and done."

He rose from his seat at the console in the cargo bay and approached
the weapon he had uncrated in advance of this moment's arrival.

"Sunbird, she still hasn't spoken to them yet.  It may be she's just
trying to verify your story.  If they found some bugs then they'd be
sure the recordings of T'Ne, N'Tra, and D'Itu were genuine."

"I can't risk them somehow tracing the technology back to the us or
Voyager."

"So what about them finding a programme hidden amongst their
programmes?  I know you resisted it before because they are too
thorough about monitoring their security programmes.  They'd get
suspicious if they suddenly found something after not having found it
previously.  What if I set up a programme that they could find and
made the explanation for them now finding it to be we're too close to
the Homeworld and it's feedback or something.  That would be
plausible."

"But to justify the feedback there would have to be a ship in orbit to
be too close the planet and that proximity causing the feedback."

"I could make it one of the ships that just arrived.  There are a
couple that arrived a few minutes ago.  I could beam a small receiver
unit onto some out of the way part of the ship where no one will find
it right away.  By the time they do, R'Co should be finished talking
and I can beam it back out before they can zero in on it completely.
Make it look like there was a proximity field that they crossed and it
destroyed itself."

Tom sighed.  "Fine.  Do it and we'll see if your right or I am.
You'll permit me to continue in case I'm right."

"Sunbird, you don't want to do this.  I know you don't."

"No, I don't, but if I'm right and she's not changed her mind about
anything, it's the only option left."

"For you to have your revenge."

"Yes," he admitted honestly then turned his attentions to the Final
Weapon he had stolen from the Gherop ship.

---

"And that is what we have uncovered," T'Ne finished then retook his
seat beside N'Tra and D'Itu.

"These charges you have made against R'Co are rather severe," C'To,
the Head of the Council began.  "This is all you have to substantiate
your claim?  An impression that R'Co reacted guiltily at being seen
reading documents that she had every right to read and later those
documents going missing along with she herself."

"And the Crown Jewels are missing too.  She was the only one to enter
the jewel vaults before myself."

"Actually the documents and the Crown Jewels are hidden in a box
marked "Utensils" in the disused storage room 3B in the sub-
subbasement," a voice said from the back of the room.  "Right where
*they* put them."

Everyone looked up as the woman they had been discussing approached.
She passed the box she held to the nearest Council member.

"Recordings of their plotting to have me removed from the throne
before I even reached it," she explained.  "The story that I was
testing Security by disappearing and expecting them to find me was a
lie.  The conversation in which they fabricated it is on one of those
crystals. Along with all the other conversations any combination of
these three have had regarding how they were going to get rid of me
and place D'Itu on the throne."

The eyes of the Council members turned to the three seated before
them.

"This is ridiculous," T'Ne scoffed.  "A X'Kri'Ri trick.  They somehow
found out we'd figured out the truth about R'Co and the reason for her
disappearance and they've created this 'evidence' to discredit us so
you won't be prepared when they attack."

C'To motioned to two of her junior clerks who rushed forward.  She
whispered something to them and they practically flew out of the room.
"We will listen to these recordings in a moment.  R'Co, please explain
where you have been if not hiding as part of some test or meeting with
X'Kri'Ri agents."

"I was kidnapped by a male whose face I never saw.  He took me out of
my bedchamber, surgically altered me to look like an Opaw then
deposited me on Mot-Ri.  I spent three intervals there, being treated
in the most abominable fashion before being rescued by a second male.
He never identified himself either, only told me he was after the one
who had kidnapped me and was going to return me here, which he did."

"How did this first male supposedly get you out?" T'Ne challenged.
"You were guarded and the windows and doors were monitored."

"I was beamed out."

T'Ne smirked  "Voyager.  I suspected as much," he informed the
Council.  "After what happened with T'Do, I had my suspicions they
were somehow in league with the X'Kri'Ri or another of our enemies and
that was why T'Do really died.  R'Co's own statement confirms I was
correct."

"I never said anything about Voyager, only that I was beamed up.  The
one who rescued me claims neither he nor the one who kidnapped me have
anything to do with Voyager."

"Do you honestly expect us to believe that?  No one else in this
sector has this beaming technology."

"But there are reports," C'To slowly began, "from merchant ships who
have come from other sectors that there are races who *do* have this
same technology.  Before he died, T'Do and myself secretly had been in
negotiations with a group of merchants regarding the obtaining of the
technical schematics for this technology in addition to a working
version to study.  Therefore, T'Ne, your assumption Voyager is
involved is only a mere possibility, not a probability."  She leaned
slightly back in her seat as the first of the junior clerks returned
and handed her a reader for the datacrystals.  "Thank you.  So, R'Co,
you say you have spent the passed three intervals as an Opaw and this
mysterious second male came and rescued you?"

"Yes," she nodded.  "I suggest one of your clerks discreetly contact
someone on Mot-Ri and ask.  They will remember me.  I made no secret
of who I was and what I was going to do to them once my identity was
proven."

"Inquiries shall be made," C'To informed them and she indicated to the
same clerk who had brought the reader to go and do as R'Co had
suggested.  He nodded his assent and rushed from the room

The other junior clerk returned to the room ahead of two guards.  The
clerk was out of breath and there was a restrained smugness about him.
He had never liked T'Ne, not since he had graduated from the same
clerical course as the Chamberlain and lost out on the top mark for
their class because T'Ne had cheated.  He never had been able to prove
this was the case, but he had had his suspicions.  "We found them
precisely where R'Co said they would be," he informed C'To.

"Because she obviously put them there," T'Ne argued.

"I was told they were there."  R'Co turned to the lone female amongst
the conspirators.  "By you N'Tra.  When you were telling your superior
and your lover why where you were going to hide them was so safe.  I
listened to the recording of the conversation."

"We certainly are not lovers," the Chamberlain spluttered.

"Not you and her.  Her and my dear cousin D'Itu, who isn't nearly so
stupid as he makes out."

D'Itu tried to affect his most dim-witted visage, but the Council,
most of who had taken a distinct antipathy towards him the moment they
had been formally introduced to him, watched him suspiciously.

For her part, N'Tra exhibited no reaction.  She had kept her mouth
closed up until this point as she waited for the situation to play
itself out.  As always, she had a few tricks up her sleeve and was
waiting to see if they would be necessary to be played.

"But none of this matters now.  Once the Council has listened to the
recordings and they hear from Mot-Ri, they will see I'm telling the
truth."

The young clerk to whom R'Co had spoken in the hall appeared at her
side accompanied by N'De, the Head of Internal Security.  Pointedly,
R'Co ignored N'De in favour of the clerk.  It had been his lax
security that had permitted her kidnapper the chance to take her.  She
had every reason to be angry with him and demonstrated such by
motioning for the clerk to report their progress, not him.  Once R'Co
had listened to the whispered answers, she smiled in a most satisfied
fashion at T'Ne then at the clerk.

"Good, now I can speak freely.  As a further piece of corroboration, I
offer the fact that not only had the programme that was doing the
monitoring and recording of these conversations been discovered, but
also the ship that is receiving those transmissions is in orbit."  She
glared at N'De.  "You will intercept that ship and bring all aboard
before me.  It *is* safe to assume that when you neutralized their
monitoring programme, you kept track of which ship it was going to?"

"Of course, R'Co," he assured.

"Good.  Get them.  And I want them alive.  They will have a lot of
explaining to do before their execution.  I'm thinking a nice
execution will be a nice inclusion in the Ceremony.  Symbolic of
eliminating all enemies of the Gherop Empire.  A presage of what is to
come."

"You are getting a little ahead of yourself," the Head of the Council
admonished.  "There still are charges set out before this Council,
charges that if proven will mean you will not become the Leader after
all."

"And they will be proven to be false charges."

"We shall see."  She motioned to the councillor who had received the
crystals from R'Co.  "First we shall hear these."  She looked at N'De
who was hesitating about what to do.  R'Co had given him an order, but
after what C'To had just said he clearly did not know whether he was
to obey R'Co or not.  "You may go and carry out the instructions.
Report back to us here when you are done."

He nodded and left.

---

"'Presage of what is to come?'" Sunfire quoted.  "That can't be
anything good.  So much for her having learned anything from all
this."

Tom slowly straightened from examining the Final Weapon and went to
his seat at the cargo bay's console once more and sat.

"But maybe it's just an act," she hurried to suggest when she realized
what she had said backed up his opinion of the situation.  "Maybe
she's just trying to be fierce because that's what they'd expect."

He began keying in instructions.  "You know that's wishful thinking."

"I know, but think about what you're about to do," the ship begged
him, for his own sake as much as the Gherop who were about to lose
their lives.

"R'Co's left me no other option.  She had her chance to change things,
but she's not going to do that evidently."

"But, Sunbird, there still has to be another way.  We've talked about
this before.  If you do this, the Gherop will just go after their
enemies thinking they were responsible.  Millions more will die.
Innocent bystanders.  Can't you just, I don't know, do something
else?"

"I would love to," he burst out.  "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

She was at a loss for a moment.  "I... I don't... Well, something that
won't cost lives, that's for sure, but still get your point across."

"This would get the point across to the Gherop who survive on the
other worlds."

"But those who don't die today will go elsewhere and establish a new
homeworld as a base of operations and declare war on everyone around
them."

"*Go* elsewhere," he repeated softly.

"Yes.  They'll find out their Homeworld is gone and pick another one
and -"

"*Go* elsewhere."

"Sunbird, why are you repeating yourself?"

Ignoring her, he pulled up the information he was looking for in the
Gherop database they had amassed.  "Where's that... Here."

"Here, what?"

He accessed the helm controls and gave her the heading and maximum
speed then engaged.

It took her a full five more seconds before she figured out her worst
fears were not about to come true.  Only she could not quite figure
out what was until ten minutes later when they were in orbit of Mining
Station 189, a tiny, barren planet whose only interest to anyone was
the crystals that the Gherop used to power their ships.

"What are we doing here?" she asked.

He smiled a genuine smile.  "Making sure the Gherop can't *go*
anywhere else for a while."

"What?"

"Access the computers of the mine complex."

"It's barely a complex.  And frankly, the computers are a few steps up
from an abacus.  I'm in though.  What do you want to know?"

"How many on the surface?"

"Fifty-one.  Nine Gherop.  The rest are slaves.  Exactly what my
sensors say."

"Fine.  They have an evacuation alarm?"

"There is an EVAC plan, yes."

"Let me guess, Gherop go, slaves stay?"

"Yes."

"I thought as much.  How many can that shuttle on the surface hold?"

"Ten at most."

Frowning, he sighed.  "Obviously meant only for the Gherop, not the
slaves.  Okay, change of plan.  Transport the Final Weapon to these
co- ordinates."  Tom jumped up and rushed out of the cargo bay.
"Begin transporting the slaves to the hold.  Start with the ones who
are farthest from the Gherop on guard duty and work your way through
the rest.  I don't want the Gherop knowing what's up until it's too
late."

"Aye, sir."

Reaching the Bridge, Tom seated himself at the Helm and monitored the
growing number of confused aliens materializing in the cargo bay.

"The Gherop are about to start noticing in a moment."

"Okay, hit the EVAC alarms.  The Gherop should make a run for the
escape craft and not notice the slaves vanishing.  Keep beaming up the
slaves until they're all up."

---

"What's going on?" one Gherop guard asked another they sprinted
towards the small shuttle on the landing pad nearby their quarters.

"Don't know," was the response.

"Has to be something catastrophic," a third guard panted, drawing on
his jacket as he came alongside them.

"Yes, but what?"

"Don't ask me.  I was asleep."

"Get in!" their superior yelled, standing to one side of the shuttle
hatch's doorway.

"What's going on?" the first guard questioned when he was strapping
himself into his seat.

"Don't know and don't care.  If it's a false alarm, fine.  We'll deal
with it later.  If it's not, then there won't be a later to deal with
it if we don't get off of the surface.  Is that everyone?  Fine, let's
go."

---

On the surface, the klaxons continued to ring out.  The Gherop, who
had been fully briefed on the function of the base's systems, had
known, after an instant's pause to identify the sound, what the
meaning of the alarm had been.  The slaves, however, certainly had not
been "briefed" on anything and they stood, watching as their masters
ran away and those around them continued to disappear a few at a time.

Soon none were left on the surface to listen to the cacophony.

---

"Time to detonation?"

"Three minutes, Sunbird."

"All in?"

"We have a full house in the cargo bay."

"Good, let's go."

---

"So now what?" the first guard pestered.  "We just sit out here
looking at it?"

"I could think of better things to look at," the guard in the next
seat complained.

Their superior turned his seat and sent them a silencing look.  "We
wait until the nearest ship in the area responds to our hails.  Sorry
it's not a more appealing sight for you.  Perhaps you'd rather be back
down on the planet with the slaves?"

There was a gasp from the guard at the sensor's station.  "What
the...?  Back us off!  Back us off now!"

"What is it?"

"Just do it!"

"Helm, back us off."

"Way off.  The next system off."

"What?"

As he consulted the sensor readings and saw why the urgency, the
planetoid behind them exploded.  Though they already were moving away
from it fast, the force of the Final Weapon's detonation sent them
hurtling even faster out of the system.

The only thing they registered in the confusion that followed was a
ship suddenly becoming visible a few hundred kilometres from their
position and a message suddenly appearing in their databanks, a
message that explained why this had happened.

---

"Bull's eye!  How are you?"

"I'm fine," Sunfire answered distractedly.

"What is it?"

On the main viewer, she showed him what had caught her attention.
There, hurtling out of control, was a New Kildarean shuttle, the
Connacht.

"I'm reading two life signs."

Any other pilot would not have been able to pull off what Tom Paris
did seconds later.  Not only did he manage to catch up to the shuttle,
but he also was able to use the tractor beam in quick bursts to slow
the Connacht and right it.  Sunfire had seen him do it before, but she
still was impressed.

"Vitals?" he questioned, locking on the tractor beam and drawing the
damaged shuttle in close.  He extended Sunfire's shields out around it
as well as the cloak so neither the Gherop shuttle nor the Gherop ship
in the distance could see it, if they had not already.

"They're a bit banged up, but other than that, okay."

Tom was up and out of his chair in an instant.  "Beam them to Sickbay
and go on to Uata Homeworld."

When Tom reached Sickbay, it was a toss up who was going to faint
first -- the injured patients who had just been tossed about the cabin
of their shuttle or the medic coming to treat them.  The latter
literally had to lean against the doorframe or fall over from shock.

"Hi," Stephane groaned, standing braced against the biobed and holding
his aching head in one hand.

"Hi, Tom," Maaike greeted in an equally pained voice.  She was seated
on the bed and leaning against Stephane for support in staying
upright.

"What the... What the Hell are you two doing here?" Tom sputtered.

Even with Stephane as a prop, Maaike could not keep up the effort of
vertical life and slid sideways behind him.  Wobbling himself, he
moved to one side so Tom could treat her first.

"Explain later.  Stephane, sit over there."

The New Kildarean looked in the direction Tom was pointing.  "Over
where?"  His eyes boggled as a chair slid out of the floor.  "How...?"

"Sunfire's special," was Tom's only explanation.  "Take a seat.  I'll
look after you in a minute.  Maaike, hold still.  You have a
concussion."

---

"So you've heard this rumour about an Opaw causing trouble here too?"
the commanding officer of Mot-Ri asked the clerk from the Homeworld.
"A passing ship mentioned this to me and I had one of my people try to
figure it out.  I certainly had not received any such reports as I was
hearing about from the captain of the ship.  Neither had any of my
people.  In fact, we checked and we don't even have any Opaw here at
the moment.  The last one we had died a season ago.  We even checked
with the transport ship that brings out shipments of slaves and they
haven't brought any Opaw in the last four shipments so we can't figure
out where this weird rumour came from.  Where'd you hear it?  Maybe we
can narrow it down from your end."

"I'll look into it," the clerk evaded.  "So no one claiming to be R'Co
has been there?  Even a non-Opaw?"

"None.  Sorry."

"Thank you."

When the screen went blank he heaved a sigh and relaxed.  Hearing from
the Homeworld had clinched it for him.  Clearly the Opaw had been R'Co
in disguise for some bizarre reason.  He felt vindicated in all the
effort he had gone to in purging the databanks of every reference to
the Opaw's having been there and telling his people to keep their
mouths shut about her.  He had impressed upon them the potential
hazards in the slim chance she had been telling the truth.  None of
the guards wanted to see how vicious R'Co could be, *if* she was R'Co
and tried to make good on her threats, something he now knew had been
a distinct possibility.

Until now.  He still had no idea what she had been up to, but that no
longer mattered.  Since the Homeworld appeared to be trying to verify
her whereabouts for the passed few intervals, it appeared R'Co was in
a spot of trouble herself.  With what he had said, there was every
chance she would not be getting out of that trouble, whatever it was,
and they might just be safe themselves.  He hoped.

---

"We have discussed the evidence before us," the Head of the Council
announced once R'Co and the others had been given permission to the
Council room following the Councillors' private deliberations.  "And
we have just heard from Mot-Ri."

"And they verified my story," R'Co said with supreme confidence.

"On the contrary.  They claim they haven't had an Opaw there in four
seasons."

The confidence turned to outrage.  "What?  They're lying.  I was
there."

"We are examining his speech patterns to see if he was lying.  Some
parts of his story don't fit and-"

The doors burst open and the Head of Internal Security burst in, out
of breath.

"What is the meaning of this interruption?"

"Mining Station 189," N'De gasped, proffering a datacrystal.  "It just
was destroyed."

R'Co snatched the crystal from him and inserted it in the reader on
the Council table.  The details of the event appeared on the screen
then a message began to play.

"This world was destroyed by one of your own Final Weapons," the voice
said.  "It was done because R'Co was given a simple instruction and
she did not carry it out.  She was to enlighten her people about the
true conditions of slavery and end its practice in the Empire forever.
Since she failed to do this, you have lost Mining Station 189.  For
those of you who are unaware of its significance in your lives, you
soon will find out when your ships cease to have the power to go
anywhere.  Then you should remember R'Co is who you have to thank for
this and her refusal to end slavery is why.  Consider this repayment
for your atrocities against the Rachar."

"That is the one who kidnapped me," R'Co insisted.

"That message is making its way throughout the Empire," N'De informed
everyone.  "With the exception of yourselves, everyone on this planet
or on the ships in orbit heard this message when it was first
broadcast and even now it's making its way to other worlds.  Somehow
he tapped into all of the computers on our world and broadcast it to
the people and the rest of the Empire.  Since there aren't any in
here, I knew you wouldn't have heard it yet."

"What is so important about this Mining Station 189?" one of the
Councillors inquired.

"It is one of the two main sources of fuel for our ships," T'Ne
answered quietly.  "The other source is almost mined out.  Our ships
have been searching for another, but have not found any with the grade
we need.  Most of what they've found is impure and its yield as a fuel
is considerably less."

"Are you saying that when the fuel currently aboard our ships and from
that other source are gone, our people will be stranded wherever we
are?  No more travelling anywhere?"

"Not interstellar, no.  The old methods of travel will still be
available, but to journey to the next system will take a season or
more, not moments as it does now."

"This is intolerable."

"We don't even know that this is true," C'To soothed.  "Have it
independently verified and-"

"Already done.  For some reason, the evacuation alarms went off before
the detonation and our people were able to escape on the emergency
shuttle.  They were picked up by the T'Ar, a troop ship that was
passing through in the area.  They saw the entire thing and
corroborate the story of the planet blowing and the ship being
disintegrating."

"What ship?  I thought you said the T'Ar picked up the shuttle."

"They saw a small ship not far from the planet when it blew.  It was
only there for an instant then it was gone."

T'Ne narrowed his eyes at him.  "Did they actually say 'disintegrated'
or did they say 'gone?'"

"Uh, 'gone' I think.  What difference does it make?  We have bigger
problems at hand than how someone phrased something."

"Voyager or Sunfire," R'Co and T'Ne said in unison.

C'To was surprised to hear the two enemies agreeing on anything, but
did not show it.  "What leads you to think they are involved?"

"There one instant, gone the next," R'Co explained.  "That is one of
their tricks.  Some of the technology they possess."  She turned to
N'De.  "Our ships are still out searching for Voyager, yes?"  R'Co
tilted her head to glare at the Chamberlain.  "Or is that something
else T'Ne had dispensed with while he was trying to dispense with me?"

"The search continues," the Head of Internal Security admitted warily.

"Good.  Tell them to join the T'Ar in checking out the area where
Mining Station 189 was.  Voyager or Sunfire, whichever one it was they
saw, probably was damaged if they were able to see her for that
instant.  Perhaps they left a trail they can pick up.  But tell them
to find them and fast.  And take them in one piece.  Their propulsion
system is different than ours.  We might be able to adapt their
technology to our own uses and find a new fuel supply before ours runs
out."

"Yes, R'Co."

"Hold on," D'Itu argued, abandoning all pretence of stupidity.  "This
may all be part of -"

The Head of the Council leaned away from the clerk to whom she had
been listening with one ear and overruled his objection.  "Carry on,"
she instructed N'De who rushed from the room, the guards outside
closing the doors behind him.  "The results of the truth test are in
and he was lying about not having had an Opaw there recently.  On the
basis of that, we have decided not to remove R'Co from the line of
succession to the throne."

R'Co gave the conspirators a smile promising retribution very soon.
It was wiped off of her face when the capsule N'Tra tossed onto the
floor by R'Co's feet popped and noxious fumes suddenly gushed from it.
Within seconds N'Tra and D'Itu were the only ones left standing.

"Don't I always take care of everything?" N'Tra asked her dumbfounded
lover, as the fumes dissipated as quickly as they had appeared.

"But they're dead," he gasped.  "How come we're not?"

"Remember the juice I gave you this morning and insisted you drink?
It had the antidote in it.  There was no way we could die."

He sighed and smiled.  Then he remembered the dead bodies all around
them.  "How are we going to explain this?"

"Go open the window.  The big ones leading out to the balcony.  Open
them, but don't go out yet."

As he did so, N'Tra went around the table to stand behind the late
Head of the Council.  Taking one of the female's hands, she laid it on
the open box of datacrystals and tugged.  The box was jerked off of
the table and fell to the stone floor, crystals shattering.
Immediately, she ran off to D'Itu's side and the two of them were out
on the balcony, out of sight when they heard the doors at the other
end of fly open and the two guards rush in, drawn by the sound of the
crash.  When they alarm was given a few seconds later and the guard
came out through the open windows to search for those responsible.
All they found was N'Tra pulling D'Itu into a clinch and him resisting
it.

At hearing the sound of boots on the stone balcony, N'Tra "guiltily"
broke away from her lover.  "Congratulate us," N'Tra beamed.  "We're
to become mates."

"I think the joining ceremony will have to wait," one of the guards
said slowly.  He gestured for them to look inside.

The instant they did, N'Tra let out a scream and clung to D'Itu.  "She
did it.  I can't believe she actually did it.  Why didn't we listen to
T'Ne?" she wailed.  "He said R'Co was dangerous and suicidal after
having been kidnapped and tortured, but no one believed him.  Now
she's dead and she took them with her."

"R'Co did this?"

"I wondered what that thing was when I saw her toying with it
earlier," she cried, pointing to the broken capsule near R'Co, "but I
forgot it when the Council announced R'Co was being removed from line
of succession because of what had just happened with Mining Station
189. Her role in causing it and that they thought there was more than
she or that mysterious voice were saying.  I knew she'd be irate, but
then D'Itu asked me to come out on the balcony to ask me something and
I forgot all about her because I was too busy saying yes to his
proposal."

"Actually," D'Itu said, removing himself from her grasp, "that's not
what happened at all.  Arrest her for murder."

"What?!" N'Tra shouted as the guards restrained her.

"She dropped that capsule, not R'Co.  She has this crazy idea that if
she eliminated everyone between the throne and myself then I would
take her as my mate and together we would rule the Empire.  Just now,
out there on the balcony, she told me she's been responsible for the
assassinations of most of my family.  Gloated about it and about how
she'd planned all this."  He gestured to the bodies around him.  "I
want her taken to the darkest, dankest cell you can find until her
trial.  She will pay for what she's done."

The guards nodded.

"And have medics get here immediately.  Obviously there's nothing that
can be done for them, but still, formalities.  If you don't mind, I'd
like to be alone with my cousin to grieve."

They dragged N'Tra out of the room though her screams lingered for
sometime afterwards.  Their echo was not enough to erase the satisfied
smile from his face.  He had done it.  He was now the Leader of the
Gherop.  True, they did have quite the problem looming ahead of them,
but he would handle it.  And once they had Voyager they no longer
would have any problems.  He was certain of that.

He gave not a thought to his now former lover and co-conspirator.

---

Fresh from their showers and in cleaned clothing, Stephane and Maaike
stepped onto the Bridge to hear Tom say goodbye to the alien visage on
screen.

"What's going on?" Stephane asked once the main viewer was black.

"We're offloading our passengers into their new life."

"What passengers?  Us?  But we-"

"Not you two."

Maaike laid a hand on Tom's shoulder and leaned over a bit to try to
read the console.  The characters were unfamiliar to her never having
seen AlphaOmegan standard before.  The starchart however was perfectly
legible.  "We're outside of Gherop space already?"

"Sunfire's rather faster than ordinary ships.  To answer your
question, Stephane, the passengers are the now former slaves in the
cargo hold. The Uata, the people on this planet, are willing to
welcome them into their society until such time as they can be
returned to their respective homeworlds.  That will be a while.
Sometime after the Gherop have used up the last of their fuel supplies
and no longer can go about enforcing their rule over the worlds in
their grasp."

"What do you mean, running out of fuel?"

"That planetoid that just blew up was one of their two main sources
for fuel for their ships.  Once the other sources are mined out-"

"The Gherop are stuck."

"Exactly.  When that happens, the Empire will collapse and the other
species can go in and retake their homeworlds with little difficulty.
Their reign of terror is over."

"That's the last of them," Sunfire announced.

"And their collars?"

"Disintegrated.  It's obviously been a long time since they had them
off.  Quite a few of them are still rubbing their necks to see they're
not there."

Stephane frowned.  "What are these collars?"

Tom did not look up from the readings he was checking.  "Behaviour
modification devices.  They are used to deliver pain to the wearer at
the discretion of the guards.  They're free now so they no longer have
any need for them and Sunfire removed them from each one as she beamed
them down to the surface.  There.  That's the last of that."

"Of what?"

"Word has leaked out that some Rachar slaves escaped the destruction
of Rachar and the news is giving renewed enthusiasm to the other
rebellions against the Gherop.  So to help them along, we've
transmitted to the Uata here, and a couple of other worlds in the area
who are aiding the rebels from outside Gherop territory, a copy of the
Gherop database we had amassed."  He smiled.  "All sorts of classified
information that would be of use to anyone wishing to further sabotage
the Empire.  With that and the Gherop fuel supply soon to run out, the
rebels have a better chance than ever of freeing themselves.  But that
is of no concern to us now.  There's nothing more we can do except
fight their battle for them and we can't do that.  I have my own
battle to fight," he muttered to himself then shook his head and
addressed his guests once more.  "We'd better get you two home.
Sunfire?"

As the ship took over piloting for him, Tom turned his attention to
their unexpected guests.  He swivelled his chair towards them as two
more seats appeared out of the floor behind the pair.  Automatically,
they sat down and Tom said nothing for a long time, instead watching
them through narrowed eyes.

"You took the schematics for Sunfire's cloak and adapted them to work
on your shuttle.  That's obvious.  As for why we didn't see you... You
figured out some way around our sensors.  Some flaw we don't know
about?  You found it and exploited it so you could see us, but you
made sure we could not see you.  That's how you managed to trail us
even though we've been cloaked since we left New Kildare.  Stop me if
I'm getting any of this wrong."

"Actually," Maaike started, "we didn't find any flaw.  Didn't have to.
The module Maire supplied you with, the one to upgrade your sensors,
it's linked to the one in our shuttle.  We knew where you were all
along."

Tom's jaw clenched.  "You mind explaining why the Hell you three felt
it necessary to do that?"

"We were worried about you, Tom," Stephane confessed.  "You wouldn't
tell us what you were up to, but it was obvious it was something
dangerous and we wanted to help."

Maaike sighed.  "Only we were the ones who needed the help in the end.
Thanks, by the way."

The pilot continued to stare at them for a while longer then shook his
head.  "I know you three meant well, but you two nearly got yourselves
killed.  I told you I could handle this and I did."

"But we-"

"But you weren't sure and wanted to help, yes, I know."

"We can't say we're sorry, Tom," Stephane shrugged, "because we're
not.  We'd do it all over again you know."

Tom sighed heavily.  "I know.  It doesn't matter.  No harm done.  Come
on.  Let's get you something to eat."

The New Kildareans stood and stretched.

"It's so good to be out of that shuttle," smiled Stephane.  "It's so
cramped in there."

"It's so good not to have to spend any more time stuck in there with
you."  Maaike sent Stephane an evil grin.  "That was torture."

"Hey, torture would have been you being alone with Niels."

"You're right.  I love my brother, but cooped up with him for a few
days and I probably would have killed him."

"Me, she just bruised a bit."

"I did not!"

As the three of them left the Bridge for the Mess Hall, Sunfire saw
Tom smile slightly at his friends' antics.  His posture was a little
more relaxed now she realized and wished it would stay that way though
she knew it would not.  Once the New Kildareans were returned home, he
would wait until the new Vanguard was completed and the clone ready to
go then he would take them off to the Alpha Quadrant to seek his
revenge on The Protectors and probably die in the process.

---

The crew of the T'Ar were silent as they went about their duties.
They could not believe what they had seen happen to Mining Station 189
or what it meant for them and their future as a spacefaring race.
When he had received his instructions from the Homeworld to search the
area for the trail of the ship they had seen, I'Ra, the captain of the
T'Ar, had ordered his people to focus on their work.  That order was
what kept them moving instead of sitting in their chairs, staring
dumbfounded at nothing.

"Captain?" called a young female from one of the science stations.
"The sensors indicate they stopped very briefly at Uata then continued
on."

The First Officer standing by the helm looked up.  "Do we stop and
interrogate them, Captain?"

"No, E'Di," I'Ra dismissed.  "Our orders are to find those ships and
capture them, not start a war with the Uata or any other race outside
of our territory.  Once we've captured Voyager and Sunfire, then we'll
come back and investigate here.  Go on after those ships and have our
ships and pilots on standby.  If we do find them, I want them ready to
launch immediately."

---

"-And they say he's bringing them back," Maire finished.

"Fine.  Go on with the next step."

Maire nodded and left the O'Connell house.

"This will work," the O'Connell's guest assured them.

"I hope so," Oran sighed.

"All we can do," his wife comforted, "is set it up and let things take
their course.  If it works, it works.  If not, we'll just have to try
something else."

The guest took the O'Connells by the hand and echoed her previous
comment.  "It will work.  Now you two need to get ready for dinner."

---

The C'Cri received the message from the Homeworld same as every other
ship in the fleet and their reaction was much the same as the crew of
the T'Ar.

"This information makes little difference now," E'Cta informed her
crew.  "Our mission has not changed.  We continue on after Voyager."

"The long range sensors show their trail leading towards a dust
cloud," R'Eti announced.  "It's well outside of Gherop space."

"Doesn't matter.  Follow it wherever it leads.  We must capture
Voyager.  Not only will we redeem ourselves after having permitted her
to escape us, but we will be hailed as heroes for bringing home the
ship that will save our people from our impending fuel shortage."

"But, Captain, we didn't know they wanted Voyager in the first place
and our ship's in such ill-repair so it's not our faults for her
getting away."

"As I've said before, that won't matter.  They'll still blame us.
Catching her now will prevent that.  Helm, continue on.  R'Eti, you
have the Bridge.  I'm going below to see how repairs are coming.  Let
me know the minute we have her on long range sensors."

---

"You'll like this restaurant," Maire assured them, following the
hostess leading the small party of four towards their table.

At the rear of the procession, Harry quietly was doing his best to
convince B'Elanna that everyone did need this break and she should
relax.

On the day they had arrived at New Kildare, it had taken most of the
day to brief the OPRF people on the Intrepid class of starship, the
Gopher Hole, and what had to be done to Voyager to make her ready for
the trip.  Once everyone had been brought up to speed, they and the
Voyager engineers and anyone else they could recruit from the other
departments on the ship were split into teams and the work had begun.

That had been three days ago.  With the added assistance of the
skilled staff at OPRF and round the clock shifts, the work was a well
over half finished.  The next morning, the biggest of the tasks before
them was to be started -- adding in the yatelite matrix to the
existing propulsion system.  Once it was begun, there would no rest
for them for the next four days.  Thus Maire's suggestion --
wholeheartedly backed up by the Captain -- that everyone involved with
the modifications forget about Voyager for the night and go relax.

Some of the crew went off sightseeing on what currently was the day-
side of the planet.  Others headed to New Roscommon where a large
ceildh was being throw in the capital city.  Still more shied away
from the large party, in favour of smaller ones their OPRF
counterparts or other New Kildareans they had met were hosting.  This
was the case with B'Elanna and Harry.  Maire had invited them to join
her and her colleague/boyfriend, Declan, at their favourite
restaurant.  B'Elanna, who had been loath to stop the work in the
first place, had conceded only because this time away from Voyager
would give her an opportunity to talk to Maire.  Tonight, she hoped
she could at last get the woman alone to make her request without
someone interrupting or overhearing her request and telling the
Captain.  Despite the Captain's assurances they would go to New
Kildare once they were through here, she was becoming anxious every
day because each one that passed was one more day something could
happen to Tom.

Her chance finally came half an hour later when Maire excused herself
to visit the ladies' room.  As usually happened with females,
regardless of species, the pack mentality regarding public bathrooms
came into play and Maire looked to B'Elanna to silently ask if she
were coming too.  She instantly rose and followed her hostess.  Two
metres from the table, B'Elanna gripped her arm.

"I want to talk with you in private."

"I can't guarantee the ladies' room will be empty, but we can talk
there," Maire agreed.  "What's on your mind?"

"I want to borrow a ship."

"A ship?"

"A long range one."

"Whatever for?"

"I can't take one from Voyager or the Captain will notice, but I want
to go to New-"

A flash of purple caught the Chief Engineer's eye and she stopped.
Stopped speaking.  Stopped moving.  Stopped breathing.  It was not
like everyone in the room was in monotone greys or browns and the
purple stood out for that reason.  Indeed, everyone in the room was in
a wide range of colourful attire.  Even she herself was out of uniform
and wearing the floral dress Tom loved so much.  No, the purple caught
her eye for a very different reason -- the purple was skin and hair,
not clothing.

"A Rachar," she whispered.

Her companion stopped too and frowned at the woman still holding her
arm.  "B'Elanna?"

She released her and made a beeline for the older couple dining with
the little girl in a high chair.  All three looked up when she
approached and stared at the child.

"Can we help you?" the woman at the table asked in a surprised voice.

"Sorry to interrupt your meal," Maire apologized, coming up behind
B'Elanna who was bent over and exchanging stares with the little girl.
"B'Elanna, come on."

"She's Rachar," the half-Klingon whispered.  Very slowly, she
straightened and looked at the woman at the table.  "She's Rachar.
How'd she come to be here?  Are there others like her here?"

"No," was the response.  "M'Nea Madeleine's the only one."

"M'Nea Mad...."  Stunned, B'Elanna stared once more at the little girl
then back at the grey haired woman.  "Tom," she breathed.  "Where is
he?  Where's Tom?  You could only know that name if he had told you."

As she spoke, her voice became louder, attracting the attention of
everyone in the restaurant, despite Maire's attempts to quiet her.
The instant words reached the table where Harry and Declan still sat,
the two males were out of their seats and coming to their aid.  Harry
stopped dead at the sight of the young Rachar.

"She is Rachar," Harry boggled at her.

"M'Nea Madeleine," B'Elanna informed him in a voice that suggested he
should see the same significance she saw in that name.

He did not and she received a blank look.

"M'Nea, it's a Klingon name.  From a story Tom and I once read."

"A bizarre coincidence," Maire admitted, "but coincidences do-"

"And a couple of times in his sleep he's said the name M'Nea
Madeleine."

A light began to dawn for the ensign.

"Is there some problem?" the flustered maitre d' enquired.

"Tom was here, wasn't he?" B'Elanna demanded of the woman, ignoring
the restaurant employee.  "He was here and for some reason left this
child here."

The woman exchanged glances with Maire who nodded, in a resigned
fashion.

B'Elanna saw the look between them just as M'Nea Madeleine reached out
and snagged one of B'Elanna's hands in her own two then proceeded to
play with it.

"Perhaps here is not the best place to have this conversation," Maire
suggested.

"Bring them and the others to our house," the woman agreed, rising
along with her husband and removing M'Nea Madeleine from her chair.
That task was complicated by the child's stubborn refusal to give up
her new "toy."  The grey haired man offered his "great-granddaughter"
a breadstick and the hand was abandoned.

"All right," the OPRF engineer agreed.  "We'll see you at the house in
a few minutes."

"Hang on here," B'Elanna tried to object.

"It'll be okay, B'Elanna.  When we get to the O'Connells everything
will be explained."

"Tom was here," she repeated.

"Yes, B'Elanna, Tom was here.  Now, come on."

---

Kathryn and Chakotay had been enjoying themselves at the ceildh when
the call came.  The two of them had called a truce, declaring the
subject of Tom Paris off-limits for the night.  With that agreement,
they had been able to forget everything and participate in the
dancing, singing, eating, and drinking that was the celebration of the
anniversary of the founding of New Roscommon's biggest town,
Castlereagh.  The regional governor had invited them and was just
handing Kathryn another pint of the local brew when Harry had
contacted her and insisted she and Chakotay come to a house in New
Kildare.  She had been reluctant to go, but had acquiesced, knowing
the ensign would not have wanted her to go unless it was important.
The governor had volunteered his own shuttle to get them there,
something they gratefully accepted.  With Voyager grounded, most of
her systems off- line, and only a perfunctory skeleton staff aboard
her, their calling for a site-to-site transport to the next district
was impossible.

The shuttle trip and ground transport to the house took slightly over
twenty minutes and when she and Chakotay were ushered into the living
room by the man of the house, it became clear the delay had been close
to intolerable to B'Elanna.  The woman was prowling the room, fists
clenched in frustration.  All of the Senior staff, except Neelix, were
there, seated on couches or in chairs around the room, sipping tea or
coffee provided them by their hostess.

Kathryn was about to ask what all this was about when Chakotay next to
her made a sound and caught her arm.  She followed his eyes to the
little girl who currently was using Tuvok's knees to pull herself to
her feet so she could better stare at the Vulcan.  Tuvok, for his
part, was staring back at her with tolerance.  "A Rachar?" the Captain
whispered.

Her voice alerted B'Elanna to their presence.  "He was here, Captain,"
she growled, coming to her.  "Tom was here and left her, but they
won't tell me when or why or where he is now!"

"We wished to not have to repeat ourselves, Miss Torres," the old
woman explained, coming in with more cups, Declan following with a
fresh pot of tea and one of coffee.  "Hello, Commander Chakotay.  Tea
or coffee? Captain Janeway?"

"Coffee," Janeway answered automatically, looking from her confused
First Officer to their hostess.  "You two know each other?"

"Dr. O'Connell and I've met," Chakotay answered.

"Please, Commander," the old woman said, handing each of them a cup of
coffee and offering them cream and sugar, "I said to call me 'Nana.'"

The Captain gratefully accepted the coffee.  "Nana, what is going on?"

"All will be explained when everyone's here."

Maire entered with two more dining chairs and set them in an empty
space near one of the couches, so Janeway and Chakotay could seat
themselves then took her own seat next to the Doctor on the love seat
nearby.

While she was doing this, the door chimed and moments later Oran
escorted Neelix, Sam, and Naomi inside.  The four-year-old ran over to
the woman she had met in the shuttle only a few nights earlier.  They
exchanged hushed words then nods and Maire introduced her to M'Nea
Madeleine who immediately abandoned the Vulcan in favour of
investigating Naomi's unusual forehead and long hair.

"Now that we are all here," the grey haired woman said, passing Sam
and Neelix cups of tea.  "I should introduce myself to all of you.  I
am Nana O'Connell.  This is my husband, Oran.  Miss Torres is correct.
Thomas Paris was here less than a week ago, but had to leave.  He
wouldn't tell us where he was going, only that he had to go and could
not take his daughter with him."

"Daughter!"  B'Elanna's brown eyes widened impossibly and fell on the
child crawling into Naomi's lap as the older child sat on the floor.

"I would need a tricorder to confirm it, but going by appearance
alone, I would say that child is completely Rachar," the EMH judged.
"That plus the gestation period for Terrans being nine months and
Rachar... I don't know about Rachar, but their physiology would
indicate something near or equal to that.  It appears this child could
not belong to Mr. Paris."

"Oran, why don't you take the girls out into the garden and show them
the fireflies?  And the hummingbird moths should be out around the
lilies now.  They might like to see them too."

Her husband nodded, collected the children, and exited the house via
the terrace doors.  After waiting for them to be well out of earshot,
Nana continued.

"New Rachar was destroyed.  Thomas became the foster father to this
one when her mother died."

Tom's mate relaxed slightly.  "But where'd he go?"  Her breath caught
in her throat.  "Not back to Voyager?"  The idea of their missing each
other because Tom had struck off to find them only to have them come
here was a horrifying idea.  And if she had finished asking Maire for
a long-range ship and gone off to New Rachar -- what had been New
Rachar - - and he had come back here because he had traced Voyager
back here... That was almost worse.

"We don't know that precisely, but no, not back to Voyager."

"What happened to New Rachar?" Tuvok asked.  "How was it destroyed?"

"Some group known as the Gherop came and killed everyone.  Or almost
everyone.  According to Thomas, there were a few still alive when he
arrived there.  Other than M'Nea Madeleine, none survived for long.
Her mother asked Thomas to take her and then she too died."

There was silence in the room as everyone digested this horrific turn
of events for the Rachar.

The most silent was Janeway.  Her throat was too constricted for her
to speak.  Tom had practically begged her to help the refuges and she
had fobbed him off, insisting they would be fine.  Now she knew just
how wrong she was.  Had Voyager gone when Tom had wanted her to go
would the Rachar still be alive?  Was it indirectly her fault they
were dead?

Across the room, B'Elanna nearly fell from shock and Harry and the
Doctor scrambled to get her to a chair.  "Tom?" she croaked.  "Tom
wasn't hurt, was he?"  She shook her head in fierce denial.  "No.  No,
of course he wasn't.  I would have felt it if he had been.  The shared
pain.  I would have felt it if he was in pain."

Vehemently, she nodded to herself as though this was the answer to
everything and the EMH looked at the Commander.

"You have not told her about the development with the shared pain?"
the hologram asked.

"No," Chakotay shook his head.  "We haven't exactly been-"

B'Elanna glanced from one to the other.  "Tell me what?  What's going
on?"

The EMH sighed.  "I knew I should have sat you down and told you
myself, but with everything that's been going on.... I found the
mutation in your DNA that I think was responsible for the shared pain
phenomena.  But now it's reversing.  I'd have to check with the
internal sensors, but I'd guess by now it's totally gone."

"The internal sensors?" Harry asked.

"I couldn't very well drop everything and chase after the Lieutenant
with a tricorder every time I wanted another scan of her.  I had a
Sickbay to run.  So I set the internal sensors to take scans of her
every so many hours as long as she was on the ship."

B'Elanna was not listening to them or looking at them either.  She was
focused on some point inward.  "Tom could be out there somewhere,
dying and I'll never know," she whispered.  She surfaced and glared at
Janeway with every millimetre of hatred within her.  "If you hadn't
refused him....  If we had gone after him when I asked you to-"

"You would not have found him," Maire interrupted.  "He was busy
rescuing me and bringing me here."

All eyes turned to the black haired woman.

"My... accident with the Dublin.  When you found me.  It was no
accident.  It was a deliberate ploy to get you to come here.  I went
out, found you, sent the distress call knowing you'd come for me, then
asked you to come here to drop me off."

All but Nana and Tuvok gaped at her.

"Well, I never said *when* I'd had my problems with the Dublin.  I
just recreated them and let things unfold."

"Why?" Janeway gasped.

"So you'd be here when Thomas returns," Nana explained.  She clearly
mulled over what she wanted to say next before actually speaking.
"He's... He's not happy.  And from talking to Commander Chakotay and
looking at the rest of you and judging from what Maire has told me,
none of you are either.  We would like to see that changed. We want
Thomas to be happy and we think by bringing all of you here, giving
you a neutral place to talk, then you might work things out and
everyone can be happy again.  He's never really been happy in his
life, except when he was here as a boy and with all of you, before all
this mess began."

"He's been here before?"

"Yes, as a child he spent a summer on New Kildare with his sisters and
mother when she lectured at New Dublin University.  He was very happy
here.  It was sad to see him go."  She shook her head.  "But it's even
sadder to see him so upset as he is now.  So, when he left, we decided
to take matters into our own hands."

"Why'd you let him go in the first place?" B'Elanna practically
shouted.

"Why did you?" was the calmly delivered counterattack.

B'Elanna had plenty of answers to that but they suddenly sounded like
whiny excuses to her ears.

Nana softened a little.  "A lot of mistakes have been made in the
past."  Her gaze shifted around the room to include all of them in her
comments.  "By everyone here and others.  But we're offering you a
chance to repair those mistakes.  We will continue to help you with
what you have to do to your ship.  And we will mediate your
discussions with Thomas if you like.  You've already seen how good
Maire can be at that sort of thing and I am a trained psychologist
myself.  But we want to see you try to work out a peace with him and
vice versa.  For the peace of mind of all of you."

The silence returned as they considered her statement.

---

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you," Megan snapped back at Geron and
continued wending her way through the New Roscommon ceildh crowd.
With her family being of Irish ancestry, Megan found their coming to
New Kildare had been like coming home to a family reunion.  The
accents, the people, the songs and telling of tales over pints of
"mother's milk" as her grandfather had called it, it was all so home
to her.  If it so happened Voyager ended up stuck here, she would be
happy.  Or would be if she could convince Geron it was over between
them and she could see Tom again to talk to him.

"Megan."  Her desperate lover grabbed her arm and whirled her around.
"You have to listen to me."

She jerked her arm away.  "I don't *have* to do anything, Geron Tem.
It's over."

"Megan, you can't mean that," he begged, chasing after her as she
quickly fled through the crowd.  "Megan!"

A group of good Samaritans stepped between him and the vanishing
Megan, effectively ending his pursuit of his wayward love.

"Now, son, I think she doesn't want to talk to you," the oldest of the
group of men informed him in a tone that was friendly while threaded
with a warning note.

"You don't understand," he insisted, trying to get by.  "I have to
talk to her.  I have to explain."

"She doesn't seem to be in the mood for explaining.  Give her some
time to cool down before you try again to talk to her."

"But she's had almost four days."

"Sometimes it takes minutes, others days, still others longer.  My
great-great-great-grandmother once kept my great-great-great-
grandfather sleeping in the wood shed for a whole month because he
dared buy a pretty young thing a pint in a pub."

Geron had no idea what a "woodshed," "pint," or "pub" were, but he
understood the "whole month" part and groaned.

The old man placed an arm about his slumped shoulders.  "You have to
let women calm down in their own time.  They're a lot like cats
really.  You just have to let them decide when they're ready to do
something, not try to make them do what you want, when you want it.
They'll hiss and scratch and put your eye out if you do."

"But Megan-"

"Come and have a pint with us, son.  Between the lot of us, we have a
lot of years spent dealing with the fairer sex.  Maybe we can help
you."

So the unwilling Geron was led off to a table to listen to their
advice on surviving "men's curse" -- women.

---

"It's okay, child.  You can stop running.  He's been intercepted by my
husband."

Megan looked first at the old woman who had halted her flight then
over her shoulder to the depths of the crowd from which she was
expecting Geron to emerge.  He did not and she breathed a sigh of
relief.

"Men," her new companion grumbled.  "They think they can make us
listen when we don't want to, like we are some obedient slaves or
something. His 'lordship' -- my husband that is -- he thinks he has
women all figured out.  Ha!  What he has figured out couldn't keep him
dry in the rain.  But," she lamented, "we do love them so.  Even if
they are so infantile most of the time."

"Geron's usually so mature," Megan defended.  "He just gets jealous
and does stupid things.  Stupid, horrible things."

"Hmm.  We saw you two were in need of help so we sent our menfolk to
keep him busy while we helped you."

Glancing at the gathering of women around her, Megan realized the "we"
was not the royal "we," but actually a reference to all the women
facing her.  "Actually, you've helped me plenty.  Thank you.  I'll
just- "

"You'll just come have a drink with us, girl.  You obviously need our
help if you think stopping him from following you around here like a
yappy cur nipping at your heels is helping you.  Tomorrow, you two
will just be back where you were before we intervened.  No, you'll
come have a drink and listen to what we have to say."

They ushered Megan off to a table to listen to their advice on dealing
with "women's curse" -- the other one -- men.

---

Q returned to her mate and son to find her mate frowning heavily.
"What is it?"

"I just don't understand this," he mumbled, not looking at her.  "He
blew up that planet over there.  Well what used to be a planet over
there."

"See, I told you they are destructive creatures."

"Hmm."

"Q?" she questioned.

His eyes shifted to hers.  "What?"

"Let's get q and go home."

He shook his head.  "I want to try and figure this out."

"But-"

His mental confusion stripped him of his usual attitude.  "Please?"

Hearing Q use that word and in that tone of voice was so rare, she was
dumbstruck and nodded her consent.

His eyes returned to watching the scene before them.  "He finally
discovered the ones who were following him.  They seem to be going
back to their planet."

"Some of the Voyager crew now know about him having been on the
planet.  Some of them are going back to their ship and telling the
others.  Others are still arguing with the locals for some reason.  I
wonder when they're going to figure out what's really going on with
them anyway?" she mused then followed her mate and son as they
followed Sunfire and the New Kildarean shuttle.

---

"Sunbird, they already have the new Vanguard in orbit," Sunfire gasped
late the next day.  "It's still in a couple dozen big pieces, but it's
there.  All they have to do it fuse the sections together and do some
interior work on her and she looks like she'll be done."

He weakly opened his eyes and focused on the ceiling of his quarters.
Once Stephane and Maaike had retired to their respective quarters the
night before, all the energy seemed to have been sapped out of Tom.
It was understandable really.  He had not had adequate sleep in days.
Longer if you counted all the nights previous to coming to New
Kildare.  Invariably those nights had been interrupted by nightmares
so little sleep had been had then.  And he had not been able to eat
since deciding to break R'Co via rape and he had eaten very little
prior to that.  He was in poor shape and looked it.  Sunfire had
covered for him, telling the New Kildareans he was tired and resting
and had kept them occupied for most of the day.

"Impossible.  They only started on her four days ago."

"I don't know how they did it, but they did and...."

"And what?"

"You won't believe who is on New Kildare."

"You say Gherop and I'll-"

"Voyager."

Tom tried to sit up and failed.  Falling back down to the bunk, he
closed his eyes.  "How?"

"I don't know, but she's there on the big field on the opposite side
of the OPRF complex from where I set down before.  My scans indicate
the crew and OPRF people are performing the alterations for the Gopher
Hole trip.  In fact, they're almost done.  The yatelite matrix is in
and according to the schedule in the ship's computer, they will be
ready to leave soon."

"They seen us yet?"

"I don't think so.  You're not seriously thinking of leaving just
because they're here, are you?  To be quite honest, I think you need
medical attention and from doctors who know Terran physiology.  That
means here or on Voyager. "

He was resigned to his fate even before she put the last nail in his
coffin.

"We'd have to drop off Stephane, Maaike, and the Connacht on the
surface anyway and they'd just grab another ship and follow us until
we came back."

"Fine.  Ask the PTC for another place to land."

A moment later, she gave him the bad news.  "No dice.  It's the OPRF
grounds or nothing.  They had to move everything to other fields so
Voyager could land and they want the Connacht here so it can be
repaired.  Plus they want to look me over and clear up a couple of
questions they have about my design. They want us to land near
Building 14.  It's a hanger on the far side of the complex where
they're assembling the first of the new Vanguards.  It's well away
from Voyager and with the buildings to hide us, and the Voyager crew
apparently wrapped up in doing the alterations, they probably won't
even notice we're here.  And it's a big planet.  I'm sure you can do
whatever you want to and not have to worry about bumping into anyone
from Voyager."

They both knew the odds of the other crew not finding out they were
there were slim.  All someone had to do was look out the right window
in the complex or go for a stroll and they would see Sunfire.  The
planet may have been big, but the complex's grounds were not equally
so.

"I can't keep my cloak up indefinitely, Sunbird."

"I know."

"And you were planning to do more than collect the clone from Kieran
and Kaatje and go.  You have to see the O'Connells and M'Nea
Madeleine.  And wait for the new Vanguard to be ready."

"The odds are the crew will see us."

"Or one of the OPRF people will mention us in passing or something,
yes."

"If or when Voyager finds out we're here, I'll handle it.  Go ahead
and land then disengage your cloak."

"I'm going to send you to the nearest medical centre first."

"Sunfire, I'll be fine.  I just need to rest."

"You've been trying to rest since last night and haven't accomplished
it.  Just tossed and turned to the point I was considering knocking
you out for a while so you would sleep.  You need to see a doctor,
Sunbird, that's what you need.  I'll tell Stephane and Maaike where
you've gone, don't worry."

He still was objecting when she transported him to the emergency room
of the main medical centre in the town.  His arrival and pale and wan
appearance caused the expected amount of surprise and flurry of
activity.  With in seconds, two nurses had him into the nearest
examining room and a third had gone for the resident on duty.  When
the doctor came, Tom found "if or when Voyager found out they were
there" was going to be a lot sooner than he would have liked for the
resident's companion was none other than the EMH.

The hologram stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of the all too
familiar patient.  The eyes of the Doctor and his former assistant met
for one heart-stopping moment then the resident began firing orders to
the nurses, breaking the silence.

"Mr. Paris would be an interesting case for you to study," the EMH
lectured the doctor as the latter ran a tricorder over the patient.
"He has been beaten, drugged, tortured, shot, stabbed, and actually
mutated and declared dead.  Nothing's been able to kill him yet.
There's a character from Twentieth Century Earth popular culture.
Superman.  A fictional and nearly indestructible superhero. Some days
I wonder if Mr. Paris is not aiming to be the modern day equivalent."

"And the Doc wants to be Lex Luthor," Tom shot back in a fuzzy voice.
The medication one of the nurses had just administered was beginning
to take effect.  The anger he still felt against his former-fellow
crewmember lingered, but the medication was dulling it and his normal
sense of humour was bleeding through the walls of hate.

"Brainiac actually.  More in keeping with my intelligence."

Tom half-smiled then his lids fell and he was asleep in moments.

---

"B'Elanna?"

"And make sure that's secure before you start attaching the second
half."

"B'Elanna."

Torres motioned for the group to whom she had been issuing orders to
go about their task then she turned to the Captain.

"B'Elanna, I just heard from the Doctor.  He's been touring the
planet's medical facilities and the medical schools.  He was in the
medical centre here in town when a patient came in."

"Captain, I'm really busy so unless this patient went berserk and
tried to damage the mobile emitter-"

"It's Tom.  The patient is Tom."

B'Elanna's normally warm coffee-coloured skin tone blanched to milky
white.  "Tom?" she whispered.  "Where?  Where is he?  Is he all right?
What happened?  Captain-"

Janeway caught the distraught woman's shoulders in her hands.
"B'Elanna, the Doctor says he is okay.  Some minor injuries, easily
fixed.  Mostly it's exhaustion.  Tom's been admitted to the hospital
and is being kept sedated so he can catch up on his sleep."

"I have to go to him.  I have to-"

"B'Elanna, he's going to be asleep for quite a while yet."

"But I have to see him!  I have to be there when he wakes up!"

"B'Elanna, right now, I need you here, supervising all this, not
sitting by Tom's beside, watching him sleep."

"No, I-"

"The Doctor says it will be at least until sometime tomorrow before
they lift the sedation and permit him to wake up.  He'll give us
advance warning so we can be there when Tom opens his eyes."

The half-Klingon wanted to object, it was in her eyes, but the Captain
applied slight pressure to the shoulders and B'Elanna nodded.

Kathryn gave her a half-smile.  "At least he's here now.  And maybe we
can sort this all out?"

Another nod and they parted company.

---

The middle of the next day, the resident in charge of Tom's case had
to put her foot down.  Not only was Voyager's entire Senior Staff --
minus its First Officer -- milling around the waiting room for
permission to go see the patient, but Megan and Geron -- the former
still refusing to speak to the latter -- Sam, Naomi, the O'Connells,
M'Nea Madeleine, Maire, Stephane, and Maaike all were there too.
There was no way all of them could go see Tom at the same time.  For
starters, the room could not hold all of them and the patient too.
Deciding who was to go first was a problem.  Neelix, the Doctor,
Tuvok, and Baytart were willing to wait until later.  An argument
broke out between the others as to who ought to go see him to mend
things.

Risking B'Elanna's death glare, Geron felt he should go first and
explain things, effectively smoothing the way for the others.

B'Elanna asserted the Bajoran "had done quite enough, thank you very
much" and she and Harry should go first to explain what really had
happened between them.

Megan insisted she should go since she was the only one who had not
lied to him and he actually would want to see her.

Sam made a similar statement on behalf of her daughter.

The only one who really did not want to go first, or go at all, was
the Captain.  She knew she wanted to see him and work things out
between them, but, now that the time had come, she could not think of
what she was going to say or how to say it.  Starfleet regulations
said she was right in her decisions regarding the Rachar.  Had they
gone to New Rachar, the odds were they too would be dead right now.
However none of that changed how she felt.  Mama Janeway wanted her
little troublemaker back.  It was that simple.  How she was going to
achieve that was not.  After days of contemplating this moment, she
still was at a loss.

Unseen by everyone else, Naomi and M'Nea Madeleine ignored the
arguing.  The four-year-old took the toddler's hand and the two of
them slipped down the hall and into the room where the man they wanted
to see lay.

M'Nea Madeleine's distinctive giggle woke Tom.  Sleepily, he turned
his head towards the girls and met Naomi sad look for sad look.  The
children came close enough to the bed for him to reach down and lift
them onto the bed.  Instantly, the pair of them were throwing their
arms around him, hugging him for all they were worth.  Closing his
eyes, Tom wrapped his arms around "his" girls and sighed.  Soon all
three were asleep.

---

Ten minutes later, the resident returned from looking in on her
patient and informed everyone of what she had seen.  The O'Connells
and Sam immediately looked at the spot where the girls had been
waiting and were surprised not to find them there.

"But they can't stay there," the New Kildarean doctor told the mother
and grandparents.  "You'll need to take them with you.  He needs more
rest and more fluids, he's still badly dehydrated and exhausted."

B'Elanna anxiously moved forward.  "But other than that, he's okay,
right?"

"Yes, he should be just fine."

"Perhaps if the children could be moved now?"

The three adults responsible for said children followed her and the
Doctor down the hall and into the room.  Gently, the younger two
sleepers were untangled from the patient and taken from the room,
never waking.

The resident drew the EMH away from the bed.  "What are the odds of
the rest of them leaving as peacefully?"

"Not very good," he sighed.  "They are determined to see him, even if
it would only agitate him."

"Given what you've told me of the situation, I can understand why.
What if we quarantined him for a while so he could get some rest and
they'd have to stay out?  No, that would be too hard to explain to the
hospital board.  They'd sympathize with the reasoning for establishing
the quarantine, but they'd be concerned about the panic it might cause
amongst the other patients.  What if we moved him to another room and
not tell them where he is?  That would give him some peace while he
recovers."

"And free up this bed for you for while you're recovering from
Lieutenant Torres assaulting you for not telling her where he is.  She
is determined to see him and when Lieutenant Torres is *determined* to
do anything, it is best not to stand in her way.  She'll go through
you to get what she wants.

The resident sighed.  "So what do we do if there's no reasoning with
her or the others?"

The hologram turned back to the bed.  "I don't- Where is he?"

The resident too turned and saw the patient was gone.  "How...?  He
didn't go passed us."

"He had to have been beamed up, but by whom?"

"By me," a voice said from the EMH's combadge.

The Doctor blinked.  "Sunfire?"

"Yes.  He has no desire to see any of you so just leave him alone."

"But he needs monitoring," the resident tried to argue.

"I can do that."

"But you're not a doctor."

No answer.

"Hello?"

Still nothing.

Resigned to the situation, the EMH shook his head.  "There's no way to
make her answer if she doesn't want to.  But she is a very advanced
ship and is very attached to Mr. Paris.  She will look after him."

"But still..." she tried to argue.

"I know, but it is a solution to how to let him rest in peace.  Later,
when he's better, then we'll talk to him."  His face took on a far off
look.  "There's a lot to discuss."

"They never covered any of this in medical school," she grumbled as
she walked out ahead of him.  "Patients appearing out of nowhere then
disappearing to same.  People fighting over who gets to see him first.
Children falling asleep with the patients.  All highly irregular."

"You should try being an Emergency Medical Holographic programme on a
starship lost seventy thousand light-years from home with a crew
that's bound and determined to get themselves killed.  Then the term
'irregular' takes on a whole new meaning."

B'Elanna saw them approaching first and pounced on them.  "So when can
we go see him?"

"I'm afraid Mr. Paris is gone," the resident shrugged.

There was a collective gasp and many of them blanched or their mouths
hung open.

"But you said he was okay," the Captain argued.  "You said he needed
rest.  How could he die just like that?"

The EMH shook his head in exasperation at the resident.  "We really
need to talk about your bedside manner.  Mr. Paris is not deceased.
He merely has left."

B'Elanna quickly recovered from her shock.  "Left?  Left where?  How?
You said you'd shot him up with some sort of sedative or something.
How could he just get up and walk off?"

"Sunfire beamed him out."

"What?  Why?"

"So he could recuperate in peace elsewhere.  She claims Mr. Paris
still has no desire to see anyone from Voyager other than Miss
Wildman, it appears."  He overrode the immediate objections.  "And I
think we should indulge both of them for the moment.  Mr. Paris needs
rest right now, not people coming to him to 'explain.'  Once he's
himself again, then everyone can start tackling him about everything."

"No ship's going to- No, let me go, Harry!  I am not going to let her
dictate whether or not I can see Tom."  She pulled away from him and
stormed out of the waiting room.

Harry followed, trying to talk sense to her.

Naturally it was a lost cause.

---

"Sunfire?"

"Yes, Sunbird?"

He rubbed his face, not bothering to try to sit up.  "I just had the
strangest dream.  We were on New Kildare.  You beamed me to a hospital
and I saw the Doctor there.  Then I fell asleep because of some drug
they gave me and when I woke up, Naomi was there with M'Nea Madeleine
and they climbed in bed with me and we all fell asleep again."

"It was no dream.  We are on New Kildare.  You have been asleep since
yesterday.  Naomi Wildman and M'Nea Madeleine were there and slept
with you."

"Then how'd I end up here?"

"I brought you back here.  A bunch from Voyager were in the waiting
room preparing to rush into your room the instant you woke up and
start badgering you to listen to them try to *explain* things."  The
manner in which she said "explain" left no doubt about how she felt
about that.  "So, when the EMH and the doctor in charge of your case
were wondering how they could keep them away from you long enough for
you to regain your strength, I beamed you back here.  It was that or
they try to get away with declaring you under quarantine and not alarm
the other patients by doing so."

"Oh."

"You didn't want to see them, did you?"  Her tone was tentative and
wary.

"I don't know," he admitted after a pause, his mind on his new plan
for revenge on The Protectors and how things would be so different if
he succeeded.  In light of those looming changes, he actually found
himself wishing to see B'Elanna at least, one last time before she and
the life he knew disappeared forever.

This wavering of his attitude alarmed her.  "Sunbird, after everything
they did and said to you and you don't know?"

"I know, I'm the worst kind of masochist, but I honestly don't know."

Sunfire calculated the pi to a million decimal places.  She would have
taken a deep breath and counted to ten.  Since she no longer had lungs
and could count to ten in a nanosecond and still have time to project
the flight path of every celestial body in galaxy for the next billion
years, that particular method of trying to calm her anger seemed a bit
of a non-starter.  "Well, until you do know, I suggest you stay here
and rest.  They can't bother you here."

Exhaustion taking hold once more, he nodded.  Another blanket
materialized over him and he snuggled down to a troubled sleep.

Thirty minutes later, Sunfire wished she could do the same.  With
Harry Kim at her heels, B'Elanna Torres stalked up to her amber
coloured hull and addressed her.

"Come on, I know you can hear me," the enraged woman shouted.

Harry glanced around to see there was no one about to see B'Elanna
yelling at a ship and report her to the local mental health care
practitioners.  His life was difficult enough these days without
having to explain the Captain why their Chief Engineer had been
dragged off to some place that did not have any sharp objects in it.
He just knew there would be all sorts of reports to fill out.  Unless
of course he was carted off with B'Elanna for trying to explain to the
nice people that she really was not crazy.  That Sunfire really could
answer back if she wanted to.  And no, he did not want to tell them
what colour the sky was in his world because he was feeling distinctly
off and did not want to look up for fear there would be three suns
instead of one and they would all be wearing rather chic sun glasses
and laughing at him.

"Come on, open up!"

"B'Elanna, if she doesn't want to let us in, she's not going to.
There's no way we can force her."

"I'll get a phaser and-"

"And now that you've declared your intentions, she'll raise her
shields the moment she sees you coming back with one.  Come on.
Sunfire, if you'll tell Tom we would like to see him later.  There are
some misunderstandings that need clearing up right away.  Come on,
B'Elanna."

"But-"

"Come on.  We'll come back later."

With extreme reluctance, she left with him.  She did not stop arguing,
but she did go.

Sunfire resumed calculating pi, this time to a billion places.  There
was no way she was going to permit that Klingon bitch to see him if
she could help it.  She had done enough to wreck his life without her
trying to pull anything else with her "explanations."  Helping him
pick up the pieces from the last time was proving to be hard enough.
She did not want him to slip even farther into this depression their
actions had tossed him into and his own actions of the recent past had
kept him there.

Then she thought of a plan.

---

Hours later, Tom opened his eyes when the mattress began to bounce
accompanied by giggles.  Even with little light in the room, he could
tell where he was -- the guestroom in the O'Connell home.  The reason
the bed was moving was not seismic tremors, but a certain little girl
who had discovered the bed moved if she bounced on it.

"M'Nea Madeleine, how'd you get in here?" Nana whispered from the
doorway.  She tiptoed into the room to collect the child.  "Come here,
before you wake your father."

"Too late," Tom mumbled.  "How'd I get here?  Oof.  Hello."

His daughter, seeing his eyes open, plopped herself across his chest,
trying to hug him with her chubby arms.

"M'Nea Madeleine," the "great-grandmother" scolded.

"It's okay, Seanmhair."  Putting an arm around the child so she was
not dislodged as he moved, he sat up against the dark wood headboard.
"How'd I get here?  Last time I woke up, I was on Sunfire."

"That was quite a few hours ago.  She contacted us, wanted to know if
she could send you here where she thought you'd be more comfortable,
and we said yes.  You slept through the whole thing.  And through
lunch and tea.  You think you're up for dinner?"

He thought about it, discovered his appetite still was on its extended
sojourn elsewhere, and shook his head.

"You really must eat, Thomas.  I didn't want to say anything when you
first came here, but you were looking a little too thin.  Now, it's
only become worse.  You're skin and bone.  You need a few good meals
to fatten you up or the next time you turn sideways, I won't be able
to see you."

"I'm not hungry, Seanmhair."

"Then the least you could do is come down to the kitchen and sit with
your seanair and I while we eat.  Come along, M'Nea Madeleine.  Let's
leave your athair in peace."  She removed the child from her "father."

"Seanmhair?"

She paused in the doorway, shifting the squirming child in her arms.

"I have to talk to you and Seanair about what Stephane and Maaike
did."

She nodded.  "We expected as much.  But after dinner, hmm?"

He nodded.

"Good.  Sunfire sent your clothes.  They're in the drawers over there.
After you've showered, you can come down."

Once the door closed behind them, Tom looked down at the
hospital-issue pajamas he wore.  He had wondered what he was wearing,
not owning any actual nightwear of his own.  'I'll have to remember to
return them tomorrow,' he thought, rising to shower and dress for a
dinner he did not want to eat, though being there would give him the
chance to talk to them about Maaike and Stephane's unexpected and
potentially dangerous trip off-world.

---

Sunfire had had enough.  That Klingon bitch was back, demanding
entrance, demanding to see Sunbird, or "Tom" as they always called
him, and she was refusing to leave until she had.  This time she had
come alone.  Where her lover was, Sunfire did not know or care.  All
that mattered was the female had had the audacity to bother her one
too many times and now was the perfect time for a showdown with "the
two-timing slut."  She beamed B'Elanna onto her empty Bridge, even the
Helm and its chair vanished in the floor where it hid until needed.

"Where is he?" the "Klingon bitch" in question demanded.

"Sunbird's not here.  It's just you and me."

"Where's Tom?  What have you done with him now?"

"He's safe elsewhere.  Some place none of you can bother him.  Haven't
you done enough to him?  What do you want?  What are you hoping for?
You and the others already have put him through Hell.  What more do
you want?  To finish the job and actually put him there physically?
If that's your intention, to drive him so insane with all your snubs
and lies that he'll begin to believe he is totally worthless and save
you the trouble and just kill himself thereby removing himself from
your lives entirely, you've another think coming."

"What I *want* is between Tom and myself.  As for the rest of that
garbage about wanting him dead, you should count yourself lucky you're
not human anymore or I'd be asking you to step outside and repeat that
remark before you had to pick up what was left of your face off of the
ground."

"You think so, huh?  When I was organic, I once took on a
full-blooded- Klingon warrior and won.  A half-breed like you wouldn't
last five seconds against me.  Not even if your lover came to back you
up.  Not that he looks all that capable of doing it anyway.  Looks
like he couldn't even fight a tribble and win."

"How dare you talk about Tom that way?!  If you'd ever seen him with a
bat'leth-"

"Sunbird?!  How dare *you* even think of him as your lover any longer.
I was talking about his so-called 'best friend' the 'good Ensign Harry
Kim,'" she sneered.  "Good?  Ha!  That's some act he's been pulling
all these years.  Making everyone think he's so sweet and nice and
then stealing his best friend's mate from him.  Yeah, he's so 'good.'"

"Harry did not 'steal' me from Tom."

"Oh, you took him to your bed willingly, hmm?  I thought as much."

"I didn't take him to my bed!"

"Oh, you two always slept in his?  Yes, that would eliminate the
chances of Sunbird slipping into your quarters unannounced to surprise
you and catching you two.  A bit of a social faux pas to be in the
midst of something and roll over to find your mate standing at the
foot of the bed."

"Nor in his bed!  We are not nor ever have slept together!"

"Oh, able to keep at it all night, hmm?  Or do you just have a thing
against sleeping together?  Do the dirty deed then get out?  How very
cold.  But I would expect as much from someone stupid enough to toss
aside a terrific man like Sunbird in favour of a boring mouse like
Harry Kim."

"First of all, I never 'tossed Tom aside.'  Second, Harry's not boring
or a mouse.  And, third, I resent you accusing me of things I didn't
do and trying to keep me away from Tom.  He's my mate and I want to
see him.  There's been a huge misunderstanding, things aren't they way
he was told they were, and I don't know why I'm explaining all this to
you when it's none of your business."

"Anything having to do with Sunbird *is* my business and you've done
enough to hurt him.  Telling him some lies to try to make him think
you haven't done what you've done and he didn't see what he saw won't
do him any good."

"What do you mean 'didn't see what he saw?'  What did he see?"

"Oh, you think I'm going to tell you so you can start coming up with
some neat little excuse to explain away what he saw?  No way.  I'm not
going to give you a chance to spread even more lies."

"It's not lies!  It's the truth.  The whole truth, not the skewed
version Geron told him."

"You'd say anything at this point wouldn't you?  You've realized now
that you've lost him that he's the better man and you want him back
and enlisted the others to help you doing it.  Well, with or without
their help, you're not getting him back.  Ever.  He wants nothing to
do with you and neither do I."

Sunfire emphasized her point by beaming B'Elanna off of her Bridge and
onto the field into Voyager's Main Engineering -- a metre off of the
deck.  B'Elanna hit the deck with a thud and lay there for a minute,
dazed, while Carey and the others rushed to her side.  As she lay
there, wondering what a well-aimed photon torpedo would do to
Sunfire's hull, the Doctor was summoned.

---

"Sure you don't want a bite?  It is your favourite," Nana cajoled.

"No, I'm fine," Tom replied distractedly.  He was trying to feed the
child sitting in his lap, but she seemed to want no part of it.  Every
time he moved the spoon anywhere near her, she pushed it away and
towards his sweater front.  There were large globs of it adorning it
and so far none in her mouth.

Oran gestured with his fork.  "Maybe she wants you to play
taste-tester and try it first."

"Seeing you eat it might convince her to try some," Nana pointed out.
"We've discovered she does seem to start eating more quickly if she
sees whoever's feeding her is eating too."

As if on cue, M'Nea Madeleine shoved the spoon towards his mouth.  Tom
looked at it for a moment then accepted the spoonful of creamy yellow
pulp.  It had been a long time since he had eaten any of the
O'Connells' special recipe apple sauce and he savoured the taste.
Even wanted more.  His stomach started to growl it was so empty.

Then it began to heave as he remembered why it was so empty in the
first place.  He barely was able to set M'Nea Madeleine on the floor
and race down the hall to the bathroom under the front stairs to the
second floor before he became violently ill.

Left in the kitchen, Oran and Nana gave each other stunned looks.  At
his nod, she rose and went after Tom.  "Ogha?" she called through the
closed bathroom door once the sounds of retching no longer were
audible.  "Can I come in?"

"No," the weak voice came from inside.  "Just leave me alone."

"Should I call Voyager's Doctor?  Have him come look at you.  You
shouldn't have left the medical centre yet.  We thought that at the
time."

"No.  I'll be fine.  I just need to be alone."

"Well, okay.  We'll be in the kitchen."  She walked back the way she
had come.  "He says he wants to be alone," she informed them quietly.
"I think we should go ahead and call her.  I hate to say it, but maybe
if he's feeling ill his guard might be down enough to let her in.  Let
her look after him perhaps?  Her playing the dutiful nurse mopping his
brow might give them a chance to talk."

"It could backfire.  He's already a bit mad at Stephane, Maaike, and
Maire for trying to interfere with whatever it was he had to do.  He
might not be as forgiving towards us if we interfered also.  Them
following him was one thing.  Calling her here and when he's in no
condition to evade her, that he might not pardon."

"True, but it might be her only chance to get through to him.  If he's
perfectly well, then he can run away.  Stuck in bed, he can't go
anywhere."

"But don't forget what we already have planned for tonight.  Their
being here while she is might provide too much distraction for him.
He could claim we had guests therefore he could busy himself with them
and ignore her."

"Then we'll just have to tell them to come another night."

For almost half an hour they argued over it, all the while expecting
him to reappear from the bathroom.  When he did not, Nana was given
the go ahead to contact Voyager.

---

Seated on the bathroom floor, leaning against the cool tile of lower
half of the wall, Tom continued to wait for the waves of nausea to
pass.  'You did what had to be done,' he assured himself.  'What you
did to R'Co was the only way.  And you should not be feeling remorse
like this.  You were right.  It *was* all an act.  She either was
unaffected by it or enjoyed the experience in some bizarrely sick way.
Regardless, she was faking being emotionally and mentally hurt.  There
is no reason for you to feel regrets or self-recriminations.  Yes, of
your own free will, you did do something reprehensible to another
creature.  Yes, you did descend to the level of The Protectors.  It
was something you swore you'd do your best to avoid, but you did it
for a good reason.  You did it for a higher purpose.'

*Any excuse The Protectors have used themselves numerous times I
believe,* Camet remarked.  *They did quite well in creating you,
AlphaOmegan 41783.  Yes, even though you claim to be so desirous of
not being like them, they have succeeded in seducing you to doing
things their way.  You truly are one of their Chosen Ones.  Maybe when
they hear what you've done here, maybe then they'll just go ahead and
make you one of them.  They'll have to figure out how to give you a
new Implant to replace that ruined one in your head, but once they do
that, disencumbering you from that ill-advised conscience of yours
will be simple.*

"I am not one of them," he whispered hoarsely.  "I am not."  Even as
he said it, he knew yet that again he was wrong.  He had been off
balance for so much of his life because of The Protectors.  He kept
hoping there was at least a smidgen of his true self left lurking
somewhere inside him, waiting to leap to the forefront.  Instead, as
more time went by, the more he knew he merely was a slightly evolved
version of what The Protectors had wanted him to be.

---

"What happened?" Harry asked when he came through the Sickbay doors
and found Neelix and the Doctor hovering over a reclining B'Elanna.

"Apparently Lieutenant Torres was rediscovering the laws of gravity,"
the EMH remarked with a smirk.  "You'll be happy to know they have not
been repealed."

No one laughed at his minor joke.  Not Neelix because he had heard it
when he had entered moments earlier and asked the same question Harry
had.  Not B'Elanna who was in physical pain and mental upheaval, still
planning revenge on Sunfire and formulating desperate plans for
finding Tom.  And not Harry who had been surprised when the Computer
had told him over half an hour ago that B'Elanna was not aboard for
Nana O'Connell to speak to and he at Ops had taken the message for
her. Less then three minutes ago, the Computer had advised her she was
back and he had rushed down here to see her.  Seeing he was going to
receive not even a smile of feigned amusement, the Doctor moved the
conversation on and in a more serious tone.

"She is only bruised.  Won't be sitting down for a while and bending
her right elbow is going to be a chore until the residual swelling
subsides.  Other than that, there are no major injuries."`

Harry frowned at her.  "B'Elanna, what were you doing?  All Joe said
they heard a thud and there you were on the deck."

"I went to see Tom only Sunfire wouldn't let me," she snapped.  "She
beamed me onto her Bridge, was totally vile to me, informed me Tom was
somewhere else, but she wasn't saying where then said she wanted
nothing to deal with me and beamed me into Engineering.  And well
above the floor."

"Why would she do that?  Her sensors having trouble again?  I thought
beaming the yatelite ore away from her and repairing the damage solved
her problems."

"Oh, I don't think there was any *mechanical* problems," she
emphasized, stiffly sitting up and wincing at the pain from placing
her weight on her bruised posterior.  "I think it was entirely a
*personal* problem.  She hates me.  Looking back, I think she always
has for some reason.  This whole mess with Tom's only making things
even worse."

"Why would she hate you?"

"I don't know," she groaned, sliding off of the bed, "but she seems
to."  She recounted highlights of her conversations with the ship,
repeating the last one almost verbatim.

"You know," Neelix murmured thoughtfully, "if this were a person we
were talking about, not a ship, I'd say she was jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Tom loves you.  Everyone knows that.  He even loved you enough to not
stand in your way when he thought Ensign Kim here was the one you
wanted.  Loved you enough to leave Voyager entirely so it didn't hurt
either of you by his being here."

"But it wasn't just for our benefit that he left," Harry felt
compelled to point out.

"It would hurt him too much to see B'Elanna with anyone else."

B'Elanna glared at Neelix.  "He's not going to see me with anyone
else!  Once I explain what really happened, he-"

"Lieutenant," the EMH interrupted, "do you honestly think it will
change much?  The fact remains you kissed Ensign Kim and never told
Mr. Paris.  The first is bad enough, but the second... I once
overheard him tell Megan Delaney you two had agreed to be open and
honest with each other, no more secrets."

"But he didn't keep it either!  He never told me the truth about his
past," she insisted, her anger surfacing.  "Okay, so his silence was a
misguided attempt to protect all of us from the AlphaOmegans.  And,
yes, Harry and I should never have listened to Janeway or Chakotay
when they told us to keep our mouths shut about what had happened,
but-"

"The Captain and Commander knew about this?"  The crewman who had told
him about the story he had heard from Neelix had not mentioned that
bit of information.

"Yes.  They advised us not to tell Tom because it would just hurt him.
They thought he'd never know unless they or we told him.  None of us
knew about the Delaneys or Nozawa or Geron knowing."  She glared at
nothing.  "Which reminds me, I still have yet to thank Geron or Jenny
Delaney properly for their roles all in this."

Harry shook his head.  "I thought you did a pretty good job of it
yesterday at the medical centre.  Geron looked ready to slit his own
throat before you got a chance to do it for him."

"I'm not going to kill either of them!  The Captain would throw me in
the Brig and throw away the key."

"But physical violence hasn't been ruled out has it?  You're still-"

"I can't believe you're on their side."

"I'm not on their side.  I just don't see where beating them up will
solve anything.  Geron's tried to apologize.  To me at least.  He'd
apologize to you too if he didn't think you'd rip his face off before
he could utter a word.  And he wants to apologize to Tom."

"Only because he's worried what his conscience and the Prophets will
do to him if he doesn't.  And there's been not a word from Jenny."

"Jenny's Jenny.  She doesn't believe she did anything wrong.  Geron
asked her to repeat to him what she and Nozawa saw and she did.  She
didn't know Tom was listening and even if she had, she thinks Tom
should have been told.  I sort of think she's right.  Especially in
light of what happened when he did find out.  If we'd told him, we
could have made sure more wasn't made out of it than should have
been."

Sensing this argument was old news and not going to be resolved today
or any time in the future, Neelix dragged them back on topic.  "So you
tried to talk to Sunfire about you seeing Tom and she beamed you into
Engineering and let you fall and you think it was deliberate."

"Yes.  Though I don't buy this jealousy idea of yours.  She is just a
ship."

The Doctor quirked a brow.  "A ship who is sentient.  You say she
hates you.  So why is her being jealous so out of the realm of
possibility? Besides, she was once human.  Remember?  We don't know
what her relationship was with Mr. Paris either prior to her being
transferred into the ship's computer or since.  From what I've been
told of the AlphaOmegans, they were programmed to be totally loyal to
their leader, in this case, Mr. Paris.  And from what I have seen of
her and her interactions with him, I do think this goes beyond any
residual programming.  There *is* a bond there."

"She's his friend and is trying to protect him," Harry hazarded.

"Or something more," the EMH muttered.

B'Elanna stared at him.  "What do you mean?"

"Perhaps there is a deeper emotional bond there than just friendship,"
he suggested.  "As I said, we don't know what their past history is.
They might have been lovers at some point.  On some Mission perhaps?
And there's feelings still left on her side.  It is a possible
explanation for the hostility she apparently demonstrates towards
you."

"The *ship* is in love with *Tom*?"

"The consciousness of the woman trapped inside of the ship is in love
with Mr. Paris.  Perhaps.  Then again it might be loyalty to her
leader or a very strong friendship.  It all is merely an hypothesis
until we have more data."

"I don't want to think about this," she declared and started to
stiffly march out of Sickbay.

Harry's voice stopped her.  "I almost forgot why I came down here,
B'Elanna.  Nana O'Connell wants to see you."

She stopped at slowly turned to him.  Though she tried to restrain it,
hope was there in her eyes.  "Nana O'Connell?"

"She's at her house.  She wanted to talk to you earlier, but I guess
you were with Sunfire.  You weren't aboard Voyager at any rate.  She
wanted you to contact her as soon as you got back."

B'Elanna practically flew to the Doctor's office.

"Certainly, Lieutenant," the EMH grumbled to himself.  "Go right a
head and use my office.  It's not like I don't have any work to do in
there."

Neelix and Harry shushed the hologram and strained to hear the
conversation between the two women.

---

Shooting a glance at the ship on the other side of the complex, Q
considered what she had just heard in Voyager's Sickbay.  While Q and
their son seemed fascinated by trying to figure out Helmboy, she found
his mate to be of slightly greater interest.  As with Helmboy, she had
not paid much attention to her the last time they had met.  Now she
was curious.  Slightly.  Filing away the conversation regarding
Sunfire and everything else, she returned to Q where he watched their
son watching Helmboy.

---

"I don't know," Tom heard Oran saying to someone in the living room
when he emerged from the bathroom.  "He wouldn't tell us what was
wrong.  He just flew to the bathroom and hasn't come out since."

"He clearly left the hospital too soon," Maaike pronounced.  "To be
honest, he didn't look very good when he picked us up, did he,
Stephane?"

"No," the man answered.  "Pale, even for him.  And I'd have sworn he's
lost weight since we last saw him.  Weight he can't really spare."

"That was her," Nana said and there was the soft whoosh that the couch
cushions made when sat upon.  "She's on her way."

"Then we should go," a male voice Tom did not know suggested.  "Let
them be alone to talk."

"Declan's right," Maire agreed.  "We should let Tom and B'Elanna have
some time alone.  Perhaps we should take you and Oran and M'Nea
Madeleine out?  That way he'd probably come out of the bathroom and
have to answer the door when she comes.  I'm sure once they're face to
face, then they'll talk.  Or hopefully, she'll talk first and he'll
listen."

Hearing B'Elanna was on her way, Tom debated on slipping out of the
house without a word.  When he had left the bathroom, his intent had
been to tell his grandparents just that he was going out for a while
and leave.  No further details than that.  They would have tried to
keep him there if they knew his intended destination and purpose,
especially now that they were trying to arrange a reunion between
B'Elanna and himself.  He still was not quite ready to see her.  If he
stuck around even long enough to tell them where he was going, he was
sure they would use the excuse of company being present and needing
entertaining to keep him from going anywhere just so they could be
sure of his being there when she arrived.

So, instead of saying a word, he slipped down the hall to the kitchen,
took a padd from the desk where they kept their family heirloom recipe
books, and composed a brief note to explain he was going out for a
while and would be back later.  Propping it up prominently on the
kitchen table, he escaped through the back door.

---

When B'Elanna's transport dropped her off at the foot of the
O'Connell's front path, she was not aware she had missed seeing Tom
leaving in his own transport by only five minutes.  So it was with
great expectancy that she ran to the front door and pressed the
announcer.  Waiting for someone to answer the door was an eternity for
and Oran who did respond in the end nearly was shoved back inside by
the anxious visitor.

"Where is he?" she asked eagerly.

Oran indicated she was to keep her voice down and motioned her into
the living room where everyone was finishing their cups of tea and
coffee.

Nana took B'Elanna by the arm and quietly explained their plan to the
young woman as the others gathered near the door, ready to leave.
When she had concluded, she led B'Elanna to the doorway and pointed
down the hall towards the direction of the bathroom and the kitchen
farther on. She smiled at B'Elanna's nod of comprehension, gave her a
hug for luck then joined the others in quietly leaving the house.

Left alone, B'Elanna crept up to the bathroom door, listened for a
moment, heard nothing, then rounded the end of the stairs and sat on
the third step up while she waited for him to come out.

---

Sunfire heaved a sigh of relief.  She had been very close to beaming
him out of there when she had heard via monitoring his subdermal
communicator that the Klingon bitch was on her way there.  But that
had not been necessary after all as Tom had evaded her without her
help or prodding to do so.

'If only Voyager's systems weren't so iffy right now with the
alterations,' she bemoaned.  'I could listen in on what they were
saying and doing if their systems were a bit more reliable at the
moment.  I would have known she was on her way.  If he hadn't come out
of the bathroom when he had, he never would have known she was on her
way there and would have come face to face with her.  That's the last
thing he needs.'

Still, monitoring Tom was what was most important and she continued to
do so without a word to him, especially not about how close his close
call with Torres had been.

---

"Jenny, you're my twin sister and I love you, but frankly, right now,
I don't want to see you."

Despite Megan's stated disinterest in her company, Jenny sat down
opposite her in the pub booth.  It had been days since the twins had
last spoken and Jenny hated not being able to talk to her "other
half."  But, though she wanted her sister back, she still did not see
she did anything wrong and until she accepted some of the blame for
what happened with Tom Paris, Megan was unwilling to take her back.

"Look, Meg, if you're waiting for an apology, you'll be waiting a long
time.  I didn't know anyone was with Geron.  He called, asked me if I
was alone then asked me to repeat what Nozawa and I had seen Kim and
Torres doing on Dartin VIII.  Since he was there right after it
happened, I didn't see any reason not to do as he asked.  Couldn't
figure out why he was asking, but he broke off the conversation before
I could ask."  She leaned forward, forearms on the worn wooden booth
table.  "That's what happened.  Nothing malicious on my part.  I'm not
going to apologize for any of it.  Nor am I going to tell you I'm
sorry he knows.  Were it me, I'd want to know."

"It was an innocent kiss."

"Innocent?  Megan, I was there.  Try 'thorough.'"

"There's nothing between them but a close friendship."

"Very close," she smirked.

Megan glared.

Jenny sobered.  "Okay, joking aside, whatever it was, it happened.
They should have told him."  She hurried on before Megan could object.
"But that was their decision, no one else's, yes.  But he knows now.
Everyone has to move on from this point.  Paris.  Torres. Kim.  You.
Me.  Geron.  Everyone."

Her sister snorted at the inclusion of the Bajoran's name.

"He loves you, Megan.  Very much.  He just freaked out for a while,
but it's understandable.  He's so much younger than we are.
Chronologically and in experience.  He's never been in a serious
relationship before.  He thought he was losing you to Tom Paris -- an
older, more experienced, former boyfriend -- and he reacted badly."

"You seem rather firmly on his side," she remarked with suspicion.

"After an incident in a turbolift where he thought I was you for a few
seconds, I had to listen to him going on and on ad nauseum about this,
Meg.  And what he did is nothing you or me or any number of people
would not have done in the same circumstances."

Again she opened her mouth to object.  Again her sister cut her off.
This time, instead of a long rebuttal, it was only two words.  A name.
Specifically, the name of a long ago boyfriend, one who had dumped
Megan for another girl and Megan had "flipped out" as her sister
usually termed it.

Megan instantly understood her twin's meaning and closed her mouth.
Her eyes dropped to the tabletop.

"You can't hold the rest of us to standards even you can't achieve,
sis.  You forgave Torres and Kim.  Forgive Geron too.  He wants that
and you do too.  You miss him.  I know you do.  You two have been
practically inseparable for months.  This not seeing him at all, it
has to be as wearing on you as it is on him.  And on those of us who
hear him moan about it."

"I... Yes, I miss him."

"Then take him back and put him and all of us out of our misery.
Looking at his hound dog face is depressing all of us."

"I'm still mad at you two."

"Fine.  Be mad, just stop making us out as the worst kind of villains
and start talking to us again."

Her sister stared out the pub window for a while.  "You sound like the
New Kildareans I ran into at that ceildh."

"What New Kildareans?"

"Oh, I went there trying to get away from Geron, only he followed me
and was pestering me to talk to him-"

"Which you are going to try to do."

She made a face, but did not deny it.  "And this group of well-meaning
women caught me while their husbands caught Geron and they took each
of us off to tell us the facts of life."

Jenny laughed at that.  "Gee, Meg, were they any better at explaining
it than Mom was?  I thought she was going to die from shame."

"The fact that women have to put up with men and vice versa."

"Oh, well they were right about that.  There are fringe benefits for
us if we d-"

Megan followed Jenny's eyes in the direction of whatever it was that
had made her stop talking.  "What?"

"I thought you said he was in the hospital or something?"

"Who?"

"Tom Paris."

"He was but Sunfire beamed him to some place quiet to recuperate
because the Doctor and the local doc in charge of Tom's case thought
he wouldn't get any sleep with us around.  Why?"

"I swear I just saw him come in."

"Impossible.  The Doctor said Tom looked like he was in bad shape.
Exhausted and weak from not eating or not eating properly.  He
wouldn't be in a pub.  It's probably someone who just looks like him.
On our way here I passed something like half a dozen people with the
same colouring as him.  Considering the settlers of this planet,
that's hardly surprising."

"I guess so."

"What would Tom be doing in a pub at his hour?  After all the
O'Connells say he dotes on M'Nea Madeleine.  If he's well enough to be
out of bed, he'd be with...."

"What?"

"I think I know where he is."  She shot to her feet and rushed out.

"Meg?"  Jenny was about to follow when the handsomest man she ever had
seen walked up and asked if the seat opposite her was taken.  Hormones
won over blood and she forgot about her sister.

---

Across the pub, out of Jenny's sight, Tom Paris sat on a barstool and
ordered what he planned on being the first of many drinks.  He did not
have an exact number in mind.  Basically, just enough to make him
forget everything and everyone for a while and let him pass into
dreamless sleep.

He had reached five when the man on the next stool struck up a
conversation with him and suggested he show him another pub, one where
the drinks were not so watered down.  That last comment was aimed at
the bartender who knew him and had been doing her best to keep him
from getting drunk as per agreement with the man's wife she said.
When she was not looking, he led the more than a little intoxicated
Tom out of the establishment and down the street to another.

Though Tom was a seasoned drinker, or alcoholic that The Protectors
had had him be as a cover, on an empty stomach and in his current
mood, the amount of alcohol he had imbibed was like twice the amount
in his system.  Because of this, Tom barely recognized Stephane when
his new friend literally collided with his old.

"Tom?" Stephane gulped.  "What the Hell are you doing here?  You were
in the bathroom at the O'Connell's when we left."

"I escaped," Tom shrugged, wishing the shorter man would stop moving
so.  "Heard what all of you had planned for me and didn't want to see
her.  Not ready for that confrontation just yet, thanks all the same."

"Not yet?"

"Nope."

"So maybe later?"

"Maybe."  He looked around for his new friend and found him to be
nowhere in sight.  "Where'd he go?  He was going to introduce me to
this fabulous drink the bartender here concocts."

"Never mind him, Tom.  You come with me."

"But I want another drink."

"Fine.  Come over here where everyone's sitting and we'll get you
another drink."

"Everyone?" Tom repeated, permitting Stephane to lead him over to a
booth.  Blinking, he was able to identify Maire, Maaike, Kieran, and
Kaatje.  Beside Maaike was a man Tom vaguely recognized as her younger
brother, Niels.  The final man of the group was one he didn't
recognize at all.  "Who are you?" he asked bluntly.

"This is Declan," Maire explained.  "My boyfriend."

"Oh.  You part of this conspiracy too?"

The man blinked at his girlfriend then Tom.  "Conspiracy?"

"To get me back together with B'Elanna?  She lied to me you know.
They tell you that?  Lied to me and slept with my best friend.  Ha,
some best friend."

"Tom-" Stephane tried to correct him only he would not let him.

He waved the topic off with a wild gesture of his arms.  "But I don't
want to talk about them.  I don't want to talk about any of them."  He
dropped into a space left beside Maaike in the large booth.  "I just
want a drink.  Stephane, my man, you promised me a drink.  Where is
it?"

"Tom, I think you've had enough."

"Nope.  I can still remember what she looks like so I'm certainly not
drunk enough.  Bring on the drinks.  And make mine a double."

"I really should beg off," Maaike sighed.  "I have to do a lecture
tomorrow and I'm not prepared."

"Nah," Tom dismissed, putting an arm around her.  "Just reuse the one
from last semester.  The history of information mediums and their uses
hasn't changed much since then I'll bet."

"Well, no they haven't, but still-"

"But still nothing.  Stay and have a drink.  Stephane, you're still
here and the drinks aren't.  One of those two must change and change
quickly."

As Tom began chatting to Maaike about the "lovely coloured sweater"
she was wearing, Stephane looked helplessly at the others.  Finally
Niels, seated opposite Tom in the booth, slid out and whispered
something to Stephane.  They exchanged a few more words then a nod and
they went off to place their drink order at the bar.  A quick glance
was sent over Niels' shoulder indicating he had a plan and everyone
else was to humour Tom.  So they did.

---

In one of the old motion pictures she and Tom had watched with Harry,
entry had been gained into a room by picking the lock.  After having
sat on the stair step for what felt like hours, B'Elanna was about
ready to try this.  Tom still had not surfaced from the bathroom and
she was beginning to think he was asleep in there.  Or worse, he had
drowned in the toilet or something.  It was a shame to risk damaging
exquisite woodwork that was the bathroom door and hall floor or the
ironwork that was the door's lock, but she was getting desperate.
There had not been a sound from in there all the time she had been in
the house and she was worried.  True, she could have just gone and
knocked on the door, but she was worried he would bar the door somehow
if he had advance notice she was there and wanting to see him.  So she
had waited.

Just as she rose to go find something to use as a pry, the announcer
at the door chimed.  She waited, hoping Tom might come out of the
bathroom to answer it.  When he did not after three more chimes, she
did it herself.

Megan Delaney was standing on the doorstep.  "He is here, isn't he?"
she said to B'Elanna as more of a conclusion to an argument than a
question.

"Yes."  B'Elanna's impatience for the other woman to leave was
obvious.

"Have you got anywhere with him?"

"No, I haven't even seen him yet. Can you-"

"Haven't seen him?  Where is he?"

"In the bathroom."

"Oh."

The half-Klingon cast her gaze over her shoulder to see the bathroom
door remained closed, its occupant not roused by the sound of the
announcer or their voices.  "He's still in there," she murmured,
confused.

"How long has he been in there?"

"Since before I got here."

"When was that?"

She consulted the old style timepiece hanging on the wall.  "Forty
minutes ago."  She released her grip on the door and stepped towards
the door.  Now she truly was worried.

"Forty minutes?" Megan repeated, coming in and closing the door behind
her.  "What's he doing?  Taking a bath?"

"No.  They said he was feeling ill."  B'Elanna reached for the handle
to check that it was locked and she was going to have to pick her way
inside.  There was no resistance when she turned the knob.  The door
silently swung open on its well-oiled hinges and the empty bathroom
was revealed to them.  "Where is he?  They told me he was in there."

Megan grabbed the near-panicking woman and shook her gently.  "If they
said he was here somewhere, then he is.  I'll check the upstairs, you
check down here."

The redhead dashed up the stairs and the brunette flew from one empty
room the next.  The kitchen was the last place she went and finding it
empty, she was about to go up the back stairs to join Megan's search
when her eyes fell upon the padd on the table.

Ten minutes later, Megan found her seated at the table, the padd in
hand.

"B'Elanna, what is it?"

"I just spent forty minutes waiting in an empty house for a man who'd
gone out before I'd even arrived."

"What?"  She read the note on the padd.  "'Seanair and Seanmhair, I've
gone out for a while.  Be back later.  Don't wait up for me.  Tom.'
Damn that man."

"He knew I was coming."

"What makes you say that?"

"Why else would he leave?  He somehow found out I was coming and left
so he wouldn't see me."

"I doubt it.  How would he have?"

"I don't know.  It's just really coincidental that before I can get
here, he leaves a note and skips out.  See the time index on the padd?
Mere minutes before I left.  Probably about the time Nana was
contacting me.  He must have overheard her and made himself scarce so
he wouldn't have to be in the same house as me."

"Then we're going to have to be sneakier if we want to see him.  If
you're right and he left because you were going to be here, then
logically he'll come back when he thinks you're gone.  Right?  So we
just make him think you're gone and he'll come into the house and
that's when we pounce on him."

"'We?'  Look, I know you want to see him and explain and all, but I
really think I need to see him a bit more than you do.  I'm the one he
thinks betrayed him."

"Exactly and without someone to corroborate your story he'll never
believe you.  I need to be here to tell him the truth.  *Then* he
might be willing to listen to you."

The two women argued back and forth for a while then B'Elanna conceded
and they began their long wait for Tom.

---

Hours later, when Nana, Oran, and M'Nea Madeleine returned home from a
neighbours' house, they found Megan and B'Elanna sound asleep together
on Tom's bed, the padd bearing Tom's message laying between them.
After reading it, it became simple to guess the women's intents.  They
had figured Tom would come into his room, ready to go to bed and find
the two of them sitting there, waiting for him.  There would be no
escaping them.  Only Tom had not returned and they had fallen asleep.

The O'Connell's removed the women's boots and combadges and covered
them with a quilt them left them to their rest.

When they returned downstairs, they made a pot of tea to drink while
they waited up for Tom to come home.  They planned to warn him about
the surprises in his bed before he crawled in with them and found out
for himself.  Oran passed the comm unit and saw the message indicator
was flashing.  He keyed it to play and they found out precisely where
Tom was and why he had not come home yet.

Sighing, they finished their tea and went to bed, hoping Niels'
bizarre plan was going to work better than theirs had.

---

"Captain?"

"What is it, E'Di?"

"This, sir."  The T'Ar's First Officer indicated what he and the
technician manning the sensor station had discovered.

I'Ra crossed the Bridge to check their discovery out.  "Who are they
and what are they doing so far from Gherop space?"

"The C'Cri, Captain.  According to our records, they're supposed to be
patrolling the border with the X'Kri'Ri."

"They're certainly a long way from there."

"Judging by the look of her, they clearly have sustained heavy damage
in the recent and not so recent past.  Perhaps their sensors are out
and they're flying blind that's why they're way out here."

"If that's the case, then they're about to get even more lost. Their
flight path will take them right into the dust cloud we are detecting
at the extreme edge of our long range sensors."

"Precisely where we want to go."

"What?"

"So far it seems the trail we have been following leads straight into
that cloud.  No deviation, no slowing down.  So either the ship we're
following was having sensor trouble too or..."

"Or it and the C'Cri know something we don't."

"Yes, sir."

He looked at the tiny ship on screen.  It was not even a hundredth of
the size of the T'Ar, a ship that dwarfed any it encountered.  How the
C'Cri had managed to hold together this long, he did not know.  Nor
would he make a guess about whether the C'Cri knew where it was going
on or was just flying blind.  If was the former, there was no way such
an old ship in obvious disrepair was going to best them while he was
Captain.

"How long until we reach the cloud?"

"Slightly more than an interval."

"How long till the C'Cri gets there?"

"They'll arrive not long before we do."

"Increase velocity.  If that *is* where Voyager and Sunfire went, I
want to get there before the C'Cri."

---

E'Cta was not happy already.  R'Eti knew this.  They had the conundrum
of why Voyager would enter a dust cloud and was it willingly done or
were they experiencing mechanical difficulties and had blundered into
it.  That was aggravating enough.  When she was told about the ship
they had just detected coming into range, she knew her captain's mood
would only get worse.  But she had to be told just the same.

R'Eti stepped up to E'Cta's command chair in the centre of the C'Cri's
Bridge.  "Captain," she said quietly, "one of our ships is coming into
range.  It is the T'Ar."

"What?!  How far are they?"

"They've just increased their velocity.  They'll soon overtake us."

"This is our capture, not theirs."

"We're already at maximum velocity.  The engines will fail again if we
try to get anymore speed out of them.  Perhaps we can work with the
T'Ar?  Shared glory is still glory."

"No.  I know the reputation of the T'Ar's captain.  He shares glory
with no one, not even his own officers.  No, we have to see to it we
get Voyager first.  Go to Engineering and impress upon them the need
for them to get more out of the engines."

"Yes, E'Cta.  And if the T'Ar tells us to withdraw?"

"If it comes to that, I have a plan.  Never fear."

---

"-And so I think you should talk to her."

Looking away from the EMH, Harry shook his head in disbelief.  "I knew
she'd been rather cold towards me lately, but I didn't know she hadn't
heard the true story yet."

"Well, she hasn't apparently."

They moved out of the centre of the corridor so a group on their way
into the Mess Hall behind Harry and the Doctor could pass them and get
to breakfast.

"And she won't stay in one place long enough for me to tell her
either.  Any time she sees me coming now, she finds some excuse to
leave.  I seriously have considered sneaking up behind her and
administering a muscle relaxant so she can't run away."

"Let me try talking to her then."

"That's what I had in mind, but you'll probably will have even less
luck than I've had."

"Why?"

"Remind me when the activity around here's calmed down a bit to book
you for an eye test.  Didn't you notice how Seven was constantly
hovering over you before Miss Wildman blurted things out?  Apparently
Mr. Paris suggested she 'be there for you.'  How do you think they
came to that topic?  What reason comes to mind for the subject of you
needing someone to be there for you?  Keep in mind, when he said this
to her, they were going on the yatelite mining and the idea of his
leaving Voyager probably wasn't even in his head yet.  Doesn't that
suggest anything to you?  It sure does to me and others."

"Are you trying to suggest she might have fe-"

"I'm trying to suggest you go find her, tell her what really happened
between you and Lieutenant Torres and find out what she 'might have.'
Good luck, Ensign."

He turned and walked away, leaving Harry wide-eyed as he considered
the possible interpretation of Seven's recent actions and what he was
going to do about it if the most likely conclusion he was drawing
actually was the correct one.

---

Tom's head hurt.  His head, his entire body, even his hair hurt.  When
the craving for a drink or ten had overtaken his reformed alcoholic's
body and mind and he had almost heard the "nectar of the gods" calling
to him from pub, they conveniently had forgotten to remind him about
the pain he would have to endure the morning after.  The pain and the
taste of old socks in his mouth.  During the post-Caldik Prime months,
when he had not been off on Missions for The Protectors, he had spent
a lot of time in an alcoholic haze as part of the cover story they had
set up for him. Last night had been the first time he had drank to
excess and have it be of his own free will.  He had remembered how,
when he had been intoxicated, he had had a few hours' respite from his
memories and life.  That was what he had wanted so desperately and had
tried for. True, he had little memory of the previous evening after
entering the pub and certainly had no idea how he had arrived in this
bedroom, wherever it was or to whom it belonged.

Risking more pain and torture, he minutely turned his head towards his
right, fearing it would be a repeat of so many mornings after he had
been drinking.  He was lucky this time and there was not a hitherto
unknown female in the other half of the bed.  It was bad enough he
could not remember the names of half of the women he had taken into
his bed or vice versa back then.  Now he was a different man.  He
really did not want to recommence a life of promiscuity, not after
knowing what monogamy with someone you loved could be like.

Whether it was the thought of B'Elanna that made him nauseous or just
his hangover, it did not matter.  He was up and diving for the
bathroom in an instant.

"Tom?" an overly cheerful voice called from the bedroom five minutes
later.  "Where are you?"

He must have made some sound for Maaike appeared in the doorway
seconds later.

"Oh, you look horrible."

He felt too *horrible* to even glare at her.

Maaike came further into the bathroom and started filling the tub,
tossing in a generous scoop of bath salts.  Through half-open eyes, he
watched her via the mirrored wall behind the sink as she straightened,
eyed him up and down and approached him.  She stepped behind him and
stroked both cheeks of his posterior without saying a word.

That woke him better than any cold shower ever could have.  His eyes
suddenly were wide open.  "Hello?" Tom blinked at her, half turning as
she began stroking his back.  "Why are we getting so friendly all of a
sudden?"

"Does any part of you hurt any worse than any other?" she asked, now
running her hands over his chest and hips.

"Just my head," he said cautiously.

Immediately upon hearing this, her hands grasped his head and bent it
downwards, tilting it this way and that, clearly checking for
something and not finding it.  "Nope, not there either."

The hands slid down his neck, across his shoulders, and started down
his biceps.  He gave an involuntary yelp of pain and she grinned.

"I knew you couldn't get away without one," she laughed, pulling up
his sweater and dropping it on the floor.

"One what?  Hey, stop tha- What's that?"  His eyes fastened on the
white bandage encircling his upper left arm.

From underneath, she peeled back the edge of the bandage enough to
peep inside then let it slide back into place.  Giving it a pat and
grin broadening as he stiffened and bit back another yelp, she went to
check temperature of the water in the tub.

Curiosity overwhelming his irritation with his friend, Tom peeled back
the gauze for a peek himself as Kieran walked into the room, shirtless
and also evidently hung over.

"Ah, you too, eh?"

"Oh, gods," Tom groaned, bandage falling back into place as his hand
dropped and his head fell back, eyes closed.

"At least yours is somewhere where you can see it.  I couldn't figure
out why my shoulder hurt so bad until Kaatje complimented me on my new
artwork.  That was after she tore a strip off my back for us menfolk
abandoning our women last night without a word."

Tom opened his eyes as Kieran turned his back.  There on one shoulder
blade was a beautiful five centimetre square design incorporating his
wife's name and some abstract geometric shapes.

"Now that I see you've got one too," he said, turning to face him
again, "it appears all of us guys got one.  You should see Stephane's.
His is something.  No one even knew he was crazy about Patrice-Therese
Flanagan until we saw we saw the PTF scrawled across his bicep.
Rather sweet really.  He turned three shades of red when this one-" He
jerked a thumb towards the grinning Maaike -- "wanted to go call her
and tell her to come over and see what Stephane had done."

The pilot brought both hands up to cover his face, winced as the
action put pressure on his left bicep, and dropped that hand.  "Why
did we do this?"  He had to grab the countertop as another wave of
nausea hit him.

"Sit down before you fall down," Maaike admonished and helped him to
the vanity bench.  She dropped to her knees and began removing his
socks.  "You really put them away last night.  Looked like you've had
some practice in that department."

Tom did not answer and she went on.

"But at least you didn't get up on the table and take your clothes off
or anything stupid to embarrass us so we couldn't ever go back to that
pub.  That's my favourite watering hole I think you called it last
night and I'd hate to get banned from there.  Kieran, shut off the
water?"

As he did, she urged Tom to his bare feet and her hands went for the
fastening on his jeans.  Before Tom could do it, Kieran finished his
task, came over and brushed her hands away.

"I'll take care of this part.  You go get some towels from the linen
closet."

Maaike shrugged and went across the room.

"Come on, Tom, out of those and into the tub.  You'll feel better
after a bath.  Trust me.  I do.  Just mind you don't get your tattoo
wet. It'll sting like you wouldn't believe."

The jeans and underwear were discarded and Tom soon was sinking down
into warm water murky with the bath salts.  He realized Maaike
probably had seen everything he owned, but with his pounding head,
throbbing arm, and brain in confusion, he did not care at this point.

"Why did we 'abandon the womenfolk' and get tattoos?" he repeated.

Kieran shrugged.

Maaike set the towels on the side of the tub and gently but firmly
placed Tom's tattooed left arm onto them.  "Don't remember that, hmm?"
She shook her head at him and reached for a sponge.  "Nor does Kieran,
Stephane or Declan.  Poor Declan.  Maire introduces him to us all for
the first time and what does that reprobate of a brother of mine do?
Drag you all out to get tattoos.  The old fashioned kind with needles
and ink."  She squeezed some liquid soap onto the sponge and soaped
Tom's chest.  "Niels.  I love him, but I could strangle him some
times.  At least it wasn't anything ridiculously huge like a dragon
across each of your backs or something disgusting across your butts."

He took the sponge from her to get her attention.  "Niels had
something to do with this?"

"He hasn't admitted anything per se, but I grew up with the monster.
I know when he's holding something back and if there's some mischief
in the works, he's usually right there in the middle of it.  Plus he
wasn't nearly as drunk as the rest of you morons.  No doubt when
Kaatje, Maire and I left you five alone while we talked to some
friends across the room, he was the one who suggested you all go off
for tattoos.  I should have known something was up with the way he
became very interested when Declan mentioned having met Commander
Chakotay and seeing his tattoo.  You're not totally to blame either, I
might add, Tom Paris.  You were the one who apparently brought up the
popularity of tattoos in the Twentieth Century."

"Ah, Hell."

"But after we came back to the table and found you boys gone, we
didn't know what had happened to you five until we came here to drop
off Kaatje and found the lot of you making you way through the
contents of the liquor cabinet."  She grabbed back her sponge and
returned to her work.  "As if you bunch needed any more alcohol in
you."

"I don't remember any of it."

Kieran rubbed his aching head.  "I vaguely remember some comment about
body piercing too."

At this possibility, Maaike dropped her sponge in the bath water,
splashing both her and Tom.  As she scanned what of Tom she could see
for foreign objects, she automatically dipped in a hand to retrieve
the sponge, only to have Tom catch her before she caught "him" by
mistake in her groping for the AWOL bath aid.  The water in the face
had roused him sufficiently from his disbelief at what he had done to
himself and the ramifications of what it was to register what was
going on and see it had to be stopped, however innocent her helping
him bathe was.

"I'll take care of the rest, thanks," he assured her.

Nodding, she rose and went for another towel.

"So," Kieran said with a grin, "I've shown you mine, you show me
yours."

Tom looked at him blankly.

"The tattoo."

Slowly, Tom wiped his wet right hand on the towels under his left arm
then he unwound the bandage.

Both Maaike and Kieran frowned at the foreign characters.

"What's it say anyway?" Maaike asked.

"It's Klingon," the owner of the artwork answered quietly.  "It says
'B'Elanna's.'"

Kieran whistled.  "I've heard of Klingons marking their mates, but
never the mate marking themselves."

"She's not my mate," he corrected.  "Not anymore."

"Sounds like your subconscious is trying to tell you the opposite,"
Maaike shrugged.  "Like it still loves her and wants her."

"She loves Harry.  I've explained all that.  Whatever it might want,
it can't have.  She's not ours to have.  She's Harry's."

"If you've conceded the fight and decided to let him keep her, what's
her name doing on your bicep?  You may think she's someone else's, you
may want to step out of the way and permit them to be together if
that's what they want, but that's not what *you* really want.  And
when exactly does Tom Paris get to have what he wants?"  She flipped
the towel over the drying rack as she left the room.

The other New Kildarean sat on the side of the tub.  "She has a point.
She and Stephane told us about what you said about B'Elanna and Harry.
Kaatje and I haven't met them yet, but from what Maire's told us, your
version of things isn't quite right."

"I know what I heard and what I saw."

"Do you?"  He stood.  "P.J. called a few minutes ago.  She says the
clone has almost matured.  When you've finished your bath, we'll have
breakfast and go to the lab to check on him.  If you can face
breakfast.  I certainly can't."

"I have to contact the O'Connells and-"

"Maire did that last night.  They know you're here.  I'll leave you to
think about what we've said.  See you downstairs."

Tom sat there in the rapidly cooling water for some time doing just
that.  When he finally rose and wrapped himself in the towels, he
still was as confused as he was earlier with the exception of one
thing -- he knew he had to see B'Elanna one last time.  It would be
torture, he knew, but it had to be done or his subconscious never
would give him any peace, arguing 'what if they're right and you're
wrong about her and Harry?'

---

B'Elanna and Megan awoke at the same time and nearly screamed at
seeing someone else in the other half of the bed.  When their hearts
stopped pounding, they looked around, puzzled over the quilt under
which they were lying then scrambled out of the bed and down the
stairs.

In the kitchen, they found, not the man they sought, but his
grandmother and daughter.

"Tom didn't come home," Nana said before they could ask.  She
abandoned the vegetables she had just picked from her garden and was
washing in the sink.  "He stayed the night at a friend's house.
Apparently, the ones you met here last night, B'Elanna, went to a pub
for a drink and were surprised when Tom came in.  He'd too much to
drink and they took him home to one of their places since it was
closer."

B'Elanna grabbed her forearm.  "Where is it?  This place of theirs?"

"On the other side of town, but don't go there or you'll ruin things."

"What?"

The younger woman's hand dropped from the forearm as Nana's hands
rose to smooth back the wild tangles that was B'Elanna's dark brown
hair.  "Tom said some things last night that make them think he will
come find you."

Megan moved forward a little.  "Did he say he was going to talk to
B'Elanna?"

"Not in so many words, no, but they had the impression that was what
was going to happen.  They are working on him.  And speaking of work,
don't you two have to get back to your ship?  I contacted your Captain
just a while ago and told her where you were and what had happened so
she wouldn't worry.  How about I get you some breakfast and take you
to the OPRF?"

"But Tom-" his mate tried to argue.

"Should come to you when he's ready to talk if all goes well.  If he
makes the first move, the chances of him actually listening as you two
try to work things out will be better.  Okay?  Okay.  The Captain
identified you as Megan Delaney," she told B'Elanna's companion.  "I'm
Nana O'Connell."

The two guests settled down to a simple breakfast at the kitchen
table, their posture slumped as they realized yet another plan to see
Tom had failed.

---

"I have to tell them, Neelix," Sam insisted.

Hurrying to match the adults' longer strides down the hall to Kieran
and Kaatje's lab, Naomi looked from her mother to godfather and back
again.  "Tell them what, Mommy?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, honey.  It's between Neelix and I
and them."

"Oh."

"I agree," Neelix sighed.  "They seem like nice people.  I'm sure
they'll understand we were just thinking of Voyager's safety and-"

"Tommy!"  Naomi broke into a run towards the three people just
rounding the corner.

Kieran, Kaatje and Tom Paris all paused for a moment, surprised to see
the trio coming from the other direction.  Before they could move
again, Tom had to make a fast catch of the little girl who leapt at
him.

"Tommy."

Tom winced inwardly as the act of holding her caused his biceps to
flex and the newly tattooed skin hidden under his sweater pulled and
stung.  "What are you doing today, Cucumber?"

Hearing the opening strain of their usual game, she grinned so broadly
her smile almost needed another face to contain it all.  "I'm not a
cucumber"

"Are you sure?"  He plucked at the dark green play outfit she wore.
"You sure look like one."

"No," she giggled.  "You're silly."

Tom looked aghast.  "Me silly?  Never!  I'm not the one who thinks
they're a vegetable."

Naomi began giggling harder and threw her arms about his neck.  "I've
missed you so, Tommy.  I even forgive you for lying to me about why
you left."

"Naomi!" her mother said sharply.

His blue eyes clouded with confusion, he met Sam and Neelix's gazes
over Naomi's shoulder.  Or he would have if they had been looking at
him not anywhere but him.  "What are you talking about?" he asked the
child very carefully.

"About *them.*"

Tom had a sick feeling in his stomach and it was not residual
hangover.  Carefully, he lowered Naomi to her feet and squatted beside
her.  "Who's them?" he asked though he already thought he knew.

"Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim.  I know about them.  I heard
Crewman Ver telling Crewman Geron about them and Crewman Geron telling
the Prophets that he already knew because he had told you about them
because Lieutenant Jenny Delaney and Ensign Nozawa saw them on that
planet and Lieutenant Megan Delaney told them not to say anything."

"I see."

"But there's more to the story than that," Neelix hastened to add.
"You have to talk to-"

"I have to talk to Kieran and Kaatje right now."  The pilot kissed
Naomi's temple and stood.  "Excuse us."  He continued down the hall
and into Kieran and Kaatje's lab without a backward glance.

Kaatje caught Neelix's arm when he made to follow.  "Let us handle
this," she whispered.

"You?  But-"

"Let us handle this."  She backed up her firm tone with an equally
firm squeeze of his arm then released him.  The two New Kildareans
walked the last few metres to their lab and closed the door behind
them.

"You think they know what's going on?" Sam whispered.

"What else could they be referring to when they say they'll handle
it?" Neelix shrugged.

"We still didn't tell the Kirkpatricks what we did."

"Later.  Let's go."

---

Kieran bolted the lab door from the inside then smiled at Tom's back
as he walked towards the spot where his project had been the last time
he was in the lab.  When Kieran would have said something to their
guest, Kaatje shook her head at him and deliberately took Tom's arm to
steer him into the lab next door.

"We moved him over here," she explained then engaged their assistant
in P.J., or Junior as she sometimes was known, in conversation.  "Any
change, Junior?" she enquired, releasing Tom's arm.  Immediately, he
crossed the lab to the fully formed duplicate of himself floating in
the maturation chamber.

"His readings are approaching normal," P.J. replied, "but he's still
asleep."  Her eyes never left Tom Paris -- the one that was dressed
and checking the readouts on the naked one floating before them.
"It's kind of weird.  Seeing two of them, I mean.  Seeing identical
twins or triplets or whatever is sort of weird, but in a curiosity
sort of way. This is weird in a Frankenstein sort of way."

"You get used to it," Tom assured her.  "He should be ready to come
out within an hour.  We should get towels.  Paris to Sunfire, can you
send the-"

A stack of towels appeared.

"Thanks."

"Tom," Kaatje began, "I think you should know Mr. Neelix and Sam
Wildman were in the lab the other night.  The lab next door actually.
They didn't see anything.  We hid your clone in here and brought in
the experiment you saw sitting in its place.  It belongs to two
colleagues of ours who are experimenting on sunflowers and their
properties.  We made the plants look like they'd always been there and
our 'burglars' bought it."

"Why'd they break in?"

Kieran answered that one for her.  "The other day, Sam attempted to
come into our lab -- the one next door -- and we wouldn't let her
because you wanted this to be our secret.  She got suspicious that we
might be withholding some information dangerous to Voyager and
recruited Neelix to help her.  He apparently is training with
Security."

"He does off and on, yes."

"Anyway, they were over at our house for dinner and I guess they
underestimated our hearing because we were in the kitchen and heard
almost their entire conversation out on the back patio.  So the three
of us came up with this idea."

Junior sighed.  "And I had to miss seeing the look on their faces when
they saw the flowers and the research notes we left lying around."

"You needed sleep," Kaatje soothed in her most motherly tone.  "You
were exhausted."

"As long as they left with their curiosity satisfied?" Tom asked.

"Yes, they did.  Not too sure what they were doing here today though."

Her husband laid a hand on her shoulder.  "Probably just to ask us out
to lunch or something."

"Probably."

The four of them lapsed into a silence for the next hour as they
prepared for the "birth."  The quiet was punctuated only by P.J.'s
occasional yawns or Tom's instructions or answers to the geneticists'
questions.  When the time came, the talking and yawning stopped all
together.

The readings on the tank changed from red to green.  Whipping off his
sweater and tossing it aside, Tom motioned for everyone to step away
from the tank as a brief electrical charge zapped through the water
and the body within it.  The clone jerked then it opened his eyes and
began thrashing about in the amnion and fluid of his synthetic womb.

Tom slid the stiletto out of the sheath in his boot as the tank's seal
hissed as it automatically broke and the lid split into to quarters
and slid out of the way.  While the women readied themselves with
towels Kieran rushed around to the far end of the tank, ready to do
his part. Tom neatly slit the sac, tossed the knife to the floor and
grabbed his clone before he could drown.  "On three Kieran.  One, two,
three, lift."

The men lifted the clone out of the artificial amniotic fluid and onto
the bed of towels they had made on the floor nearby.  While Tom
snatched the towel away from P.J. and began cleaning his duplicate up
like the baby he more or less was, Kieran took the one from his wife
and wiped his arms and T-shirt front.

"I should have taken off my shirt too," he grumbled.

"There's a clean one in your bottom desk drawer," his wife reminded
him.  "A couple actually I think."

"Oh, yeah.  How is he, Tom?"

Tom looked at P.J. who was scanning the clone with a medical
tricorder.

"He looks okay," she responded.  "His heart rate and adrenaline are
rather high."

"That's understandable considering what he's been through," Tom
nodded.  "And we're claustrophobic so that doesn't help."  He took
another large towel from Kaatje and draped it around the clone.  "How
do you feel?"

The clone frowned for a moment then sighed.  "Tired," he whispered.
It was an effort for him to form the words.  Though his brain had all
the knowledge of how to do everything the original Tom Paris could, it
still was hard for him, never having done it before.  "Tired and
sticky."

His "father" smiled down at him.  "And you smell funny too."

"Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome." He looked to the others.  "I cannot thank you enough
for watching over him.  We'll contact you later.  Sunfire?"

The two Tom's, the discarded sweater and stiletto, and the towels all
vanished.  Seconds later, all traces of the tank and what had happened
there were gone.  All that was left as proof anything had occurred was
a drying stickiness on Kieran shirt and arms.

---

"As if there aren't enough of them in the Universe, he's gone and
created another," Q groaned, shaking her head.

Q nodded distractedly.

"What is it?"

He looked at her.  "I was just wondering if we should help them
along."

"Help who along?"

"Them."

"If you're thinking of fixing their ship for them-"

"Not that.  They're practically done that anyway.  No, I meant, what
if we put him in a room with them.  And made sure they couldn't
leave."

"Whatever for?"

"I'm tired of waiting around for this to happen.  I'm getting bored."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that in reference to your precious
humans."

"I'm not bored with them, just this constant evasion.  They get this
close to seeing him and bamn, something happens to throw a spanner
into the works as they say.  I'd just like to move things along a
little. And I think that ship's got to be the first thing to go.  She
keeps getting in the way."

"It looks like things *are* about to move along, but in quite a
different manner.  Look."

He followed her pointing finger towards the two Gherop ships that were
closing in on the dust cloud.  "Hmm.  This is a promising
development."

"Exactly.  So hold off on your meddling."

He nodded, but while her attention was diverted, he did a little
creative adjustment to a certain two identical ships.  Not that the
ships in question noticed at the time.  One was not activated yet.
The other was too concerned with her Tom Paris to notice.

---

"Better?"

Clean and dressed in jeans and a purple sweater, the clone settled
into his chair, nodding.  "I didn't expect I'd be this weak."

"The charge before you woke stimulated your atrophied muscles, but
you'll still need time to gather your strength.  You're less than an
hour old.  Give yourself some time."

Head falling against the chair back, he sighed then frowned. "What's
that?"

Tom had stripped off his stained jeans and underwear so he could help
the other him shower off the fluid.  When they had emerged and dried
off, there had been the chore of wrestling the still weak "newborn"
into his clothes and getting him comfortably situated.  It was only
now that Tom was able to dress in clean clothing.  Still shirtless,
the tattoo on his bicep was visible and perfectly legible to his
audience.

"'B'Elanna's?'" the clone read.  "That certainly is a strange choice
considering how things stand with her."

"Worse yet, Voyager's here, on New Kildare."  He outlined the
deception that had effected that particular event.

"And you two have made up?"  There was stunned surprise in his voice.

"No.  I haven't seen her or any of them except Doctor, Neelix, Sam
Wildman, and Naomi.  And that was by sheer coincidence."

"So why the tattoo?"

"I got drunk last night," he confessed, turning away and reaching for
his sweater.  "Maaike's brother took myself, Kieran, Stephane, and
Maire's boyfriend out to get tattoos."

"I thought we swore we'd never get drunk again."

No answer.

"So why'd you do it?"

Tom's now sweater-covered shoulders slumped.  He had wanted to keep
this from his clone in the hopes that at least one of them would not
have to deal with the same emotional fall out he was coping with.  'Or
not coping,' he admitted to himself.

"You did it, didn't you?  You destroyed their Homeworld?"

"No, I didn't.  I blew up one of their two main sources of fuel for
their ships and made sure they knew the reason why."

"Ah, symbolism."

"And I gave all the information Sunfire and I collected from their
databanks to a couple of species who have secretly been working on
sabotaging the Gherop Empire for some time now.  Not that the Gherop
know that's what they're up to.  I just hope it works."

"Good.  I'm glad you found another way."

Nodding, Tom turned back and saw his clone seated in front of him,
staring at his hands in fascination.  Though they could not read each
other's minds, he could guess what was going through the other's mind.
"It's hard, isn't it?  Seeing me and seeing you and knowing we're the
same but different."

He lowered his hands.  "Yes.  I know why we did this and we were
right.  This is the best way, but we never thought about how weird it
was going to feel."

"I know."  Tom reached out and took one of his duplicate's hands in
his, squeezing it.  He received a squeeze back and a rueful smile.
"Actually, the plan has changed."

The clone blinked.  "Why?  What happened?"

"I remembered something that gave me another idea, a better way of
achieving our goal.  The only thing is, if we try, I don't know how it
will turn out, just that we will achieve our goal."

"Tell me."

So Tom did.  When he finished his duplicate sat there in silence,
digesting it all.

"It's a daring plan," he finally pronounced.

"I know, but if it works...."  Tom left the words hanging since both
of them knew full well the implications of his plan *if* it could be
carried off.

"It is complicated.  Why don't we just do the new part?  It would
simplify things."

"And if something went wrong and we failed?  No, if either one of us
can't pull off our half of it at least we'll know the other has a
chance of succeeding."

"Double the chance of success.  Okay.  Let's do it.  So which one of
us stays with Voyager?"

Tom rubbed his temples.  "Considering our plans, it's got to be me.  I
have the Implant therefore I can hold out longer against The
Protectors if the need should arise."

"Headache again?"

"Yes."

"Sunfire, scan him."

"I'm detecting the pain centres in his brain are being activated but
not why," she told them.  "Try this."

A hypospray appeared near the clone.  He scooped it up and crossed to
Tom where he was seated on the bunk then pressed it against his neck.
"Better?"

Tom nodded.  "I don't know why they keep coming."

"Probably stress.  It's not like life's been all calm and peaceful for
you lately."

"Nor for you, but you're not having them."

"I don't know.  Maybe because technically you're older than I am.
Your body's been under stress longer than mine so it's showing it."

He snorted.  "So I'm showing my age?  Thanks."

A grin was sent back.  "You're welcome."  The clone sobered.  "Are you
sure you're going to be strong enough to do this?"

Tom caught his double's hand in his and squeezed.  "Yes."

"It would be simple enough to make another of us to try to do it."

He laughed.  "Like the Universe isn't in enough trouble with two of
us.  It was bad enough with one."

"I'm serious.  Another of us would be a help."

"And so would another.  And another.  Where would it end?  How many of
us would be enough?  And what about when this is all over?  Depending
on how the plan goes of course.  How fair would it be to the others?
We're all Tom Paris.  We all have the same memories.  We all have
equal right to Tom Paris' life, whatever it might end up being.  How
would we decide who gets to have it and who has to leave and establish
their own identity?  Flip a coin and whoever wins gets to keep the
name and the life?  This way is going to be difficult, but it is
best."

Mutely conceding the point, he sat next to his "father" and rested his
head on his shoulder.  Tom wrapped an arm around him and they stayed
like that for a long time.

---

"I can accomplish this task without assistance, Ensign," Seven
insisted then attempted to ignore Harry.  Considering they were the
only two people in that section of a cramped Jefferies tube, that was
not an easy thing to do.

Harry sat back and watched her work, but did not leave.  "I ran into
the Doctor in the corridor this morning when I was on my way to
breakfast.  He tracked me down actually.  Said he'd been trying to
talk to you for days now and you were avoiding him."

"We are busy.  I do not have the time to spare for idle gossip.  Nor
do I have the time now.  Your presence would be better served
elsewhere, Ensign Kim.  There still remains much to do."

"You're wrong.  About a lot of things actually, but especially about
my presence being better served elsewhere.  Everything else that has
to be done is covered."

"I find that hard to believe with all of the tasks still to be
completed."

"Fine, don't believe it."  He fell silent for a few moments as he
tried to decide the best way to introduce the topic of conversation he
wished to address.  In the end, he just blurted it out.  "B'Elanna and
I aren't having an affair.  We kissed each other once and that was
it."

She nearly dropped the tool in her hand.

"No one told you that, did they?"

Seven tried to focus on what she was doing and failed.  "No," she
answered in a bewildered voice.

"Thought not.  I should have guessed from the way you were so abrupt
with me lately, but I was so concerned about everything else.
Especially about B'Elanna slowly falling apart without Tom and her
having to deal with everyone knowing a big part of his leaving was our
faults that I didn't see how you were hurting."

She forced herself to resume her work.  "Mr. Paris' leaving has
impacted most of the crew and-"

"I'm not talking about Tom, Seven.  I'm talking about what hearing
B'Elanna and I might be lovers did to you."

"It was a surprise considering the suddenness of such a development
and the marked absence of any indicators of such an intimacy."

"An intimacy that didn't exist.  She and I kissed each other once,
months ago during a bizarre and emotional time.  I'll admit there was
a curiosity there, wondering what it would be like to kiss her, but
nothing more than that.  On her part it was a desperate attempt to
shove Tom from her mind and find someone else who was less...
complicated than he was.  Someone who wouldn't put her through the
emotional highs and lows that she goes through with Tom.  Made me feel
rather insulted actually, being called what amounted to 'dull' and
'safe' like that."

His companion did not comment.  Her mind was working furiously, trying
to process what he was saying.  It barely registered his removing the
tool from her hand to return it to its case then him turning her
around to face him.  It was not until she felt a hand on her chin,
tilting her face towards his, that she remembered he was even there.

"Unfortunately for you, her trying to turn to someone 'dull' and
'safe' ended up not only hurting her and me and Tom, but you too,
didn't it? You were upset to hear about the possibility she and I were
having an affair, weren't you?"

Lost in the depths of his brown eyes, she did not notice her usual
reserve melting away or feel herself nodding.

"Why, Seven?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know.  I just couldn't...."

"Couldn't what, Seven?"

"I was angry."

"Why?"

The former Borg seemed to realize how close he was, both in terms of
proximity and of uncovering a truth her subconscious was not quite
ready to let her accept.  She pulled back causing his hand to release
her.  Immediately, she turned her back on him and finished up her
work.  "Lieutenant Torres is not a proper match for one of your
temperament.  From my observations of her behaviour, I have found her
to be unpredictable, at times violent, and quixotic.  Seemingly
insignificant details can send her off into a rage.  The only person
who has ever managed to successfully diffuse her moments of
temperament is Mr. Paris.  Like Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Carey,
and Mr. Neelix, you have on occasion succeeded, to a degree, in
calming her. By my calculations, of all the attempts I have witnessed
made by you or another to pacify her, you personally have a success
rate of thirteen percent.  Mr. Paris has an eighty-two.  That,
combined with other factors, convinces me he is the better match for
her if she is considering a long-term mate."

"You have the heart of a romantic, Seven," he chuckled.

She looked at him over her shoulder.  "That too is one of the factors
in Mr. Paris' favour."

"He's more romantic than I am, hmm?"

"Given what humans consider romantic gestures, both subtle and not-so-
subtle, yes, he has demonstrated he is more adept in that field."

"You've never really seen me make any romantic gestures, Seven, so
it's a little premature to declare him more romantic."

"There were a few towards Souris."

Harry waited for the familiar dull ache to appear as it always did at
the mention of the name of the woman he had loved and lost far too
soon.  It did come, only this time it was neither dull nor an ache.
It merely was a sad sense of loss and waste of potential and a faint
one at that.  "Yes, there were a couple," he admitted, mind puzzling
over why he no longer felt so devastated at losing Souris.

Seven closed the panel she had been working in and closed her tool
kit.  "I am finished here.  I have to attend to the next task."

He surfaced from his thinking and followed her to the nearest exit
from the Jefferies tubes.

---

---

"Now, keeping in mind we've never done anything like this before,
Commander," Stephane warned Chakotay, "and that prototypes are just
that, prototypes.  They're never perfect."

"I thought you said you just duplicated the EMH's matrix."

"Basically we did, Commander," Declan nodded, "but we had to change it
a bit.  The appearance, personality, and function all were different.
Change even a single algorithm and it can set off a whole string of
problems.  That's the way it goes."

"So this might not work."

Stephane smiled at this.  "Actually, we're expecting it won't.  As we
just explained, the chances of perfection are slim.  You want the
honours of turning it on for the first time?"

"Okay."  Chakotay addressed the ceiling of Holodeck Two.  "Computer,
activate Emergency Counselling Holographic programme."

The air a few metres in front of them shimmered and distorted as the
sound of electrical charges crackled around it.  The two computer
experts made adjustments on the panel controlling the hologram and it
started to solidify then vanished.

"This is the point where we say I told you so, Commander," Stephane
sighed.

The First Officer gestured to the empty air where the hologram had
stood.  "But you almost had it."

Declan rubbed his neck.  "We almost blew out your holoemitters too.
We'll have to keep working on it.  Stephane, stop scratching."

Stephane's hand dropped from his chest.  "It itches like crazy."

"I know, mine does too, but we can't scratch or we'll need medical
attention."

Chakotay looked from one to the other.  "What might need medical
attention?"

The two men gave each other guilty looks like they had said something
they should not have then Stephane told him about their drunken
tattoo- acquiring expedition.

"We haven't seen Kieran or Tom's yet, but-"

"Tom Paris?  Paris was part of this?"

"He actually was the one who brought the subject up."

"Well, actually I brought it up," Declan corrected.  "I mentioned I'd
met you, Commander, and made reference to your tattoo.  That brought
up the subject of tattoos in general and next thing we knew, each of
us were waking up with one."  He smirked at Stephane.  "And some of
them were rather telling, really.  By the way, how is Patrice-Therese,
Stephane?"

"Go to Hell, Declan," Stephane glared.

At Chakotay's confusion, Declan explained how Stephane's tattoo was a
confession of his secret affection for one Patrice-Therese Flanagan
then ducked when Stephane threatened to "belt him one if he didn't cut
it out."  "From what Maaike said, it shook Tom even more than it did
this one," he said, jerking a thumb towards his friend.

Chakotay nodded as though it only confirmed something he already knew.
"Paris was after this Patrice-Therese himself."

The New Kildareans frowned at him.

"No," Stephane laughed in disbelief, "seeing B'Elanna's name tattooed
on himself was the shock to him.  Geez, Commander, we've only been
reacquainted with Tom for a few days now, but even we know B'Elanna's
the only woman he wants.  How could you even think he'd be interested
in anyone else?"

"The Commander's not Tom's biggest fan," Declan mock-whispered to
Stephane.  "Thinks Tom's the lowest being ever to disgrace the
Universe with his presence."

"No, I'm not and he is."  Chakotay started for the doors.  "I have
things to do, gentlemen.  If you can get back to me when you're ready
to try this again?"

They watched him go.

"That certainly gave him something to think about."

Stephane nodded.  "I just hope it can get passed this animosity he has
towards Tom."

He tapped out a command then the ECH appeared before them without the
slightest problem.  She was average height and mass, Caucasian, with
medium-length brown hair, hazel eyes, and appeared to be in her early
40s.  While she was pretty and had a lovely smile, she was not
beautiful.  They all had agreed upon "a nice, aesthetically-pleasing,
though not alluring, motherly figure.  Someone everyone would feel at
ease with the moment they stepped through the doors and into her
'office.'"  With her, they felt they had succeeded.

"What do you think?" he asked the hologram.

"I think locking them up in a room together would end in two being
beamed to sickbay," she informed them, shaking her head.  "But we'll
have to see what I can do.  Can you get them both here at the same
time?"

"We'll try."

"Good.  I'll be expecting them."  She nodded then shut her programme
off.

---

"Sunbird-" Sunfire began then stopped as both men gave her their
attention.  "This is too confusing.  I say 'Sunbird' and neither of
you know which one of you I'm speaking to."

The two Toms nodded to each other.  For them, both of them having the
same name was not a problem.  They both were Tom Paris therefore they
both had equal right to the name.  But for the sake of clarity from
Sunfire's point of view, one of them was going to have to have a new
name.

"Timothy," the clone told her.  "We've always liked the name so you
can call me that or 'Tim.'"  He looked in askance at his "father" who
approved the choice.

"Much better than going with 'Eugene,'" Tom smiled.  "Don't care how
great the man we were named after was, I'm still not crazy about it."

The newly christened Tim nodded and smiled back.

"Fine then," Sunfire sighed, "Sunbird, Maire's trying to contact you."

"Send it in here," Tom ordered, sitting down at the desk.

Tim stepped off to one side so the woman who appeared on screen that
materialized out of the wall behind the desk did not see him.

"Tom, I have good news," she grinned.  "Your Vanguard's ready."

Both Tom and Tim blinked at the news and shot each other startled
glances.

"Already?" Tom marvelled.

"We've methods that made things go a lot faster."

"Utopia Planetia will be interested to hear about them.  When can I
see her?"

"Right now if you'd like.  I was about to beam up to the Connemara
then over to the Vanguard.  I'll meet you up there."

"Actually, I have to collect the case I left with in your lab for safe
keeping."

"I'll meet you in my office then."

"Fine.  Paris out."

Tim shook his head.  "Damn."

"Exactly.  Making a Vanguard would have taken them months.  It took
the New Kildareans less than a week."

"We've got to find out how they did it."

"I'll-" Tom rubbed the ache in his temples.

"You okay?"

He forced his hands to drop.  "Yeah, I'm fine.  Sunfire, if you will?"

He waited for Tom to be transported off of the ship before speaking.
"He's not okay, is he?"

"He's been through a lot lately.  Before and after you were created."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Just that it's been a rough few days for him."

Tom had not told Tim about R'Co and what had happened with her so
Sunfire was taking that as a sign he didn't want him to know.  She
could understand why.  This Tom Paris, or Tim as he now was willing to
answer to, was not plagued with the same horrible memories Tom was and
she could understand the importance Tom would place upon that.  Tim
did not deserve to know to what lengths his progenitor was willing to
descend.  It would only upset him too.

"You need to rest," she insisted.  "You're going to need your strength
for what's to come."

"I'm not tired though."

"You were not so long ago.  Just try and lie down, hmm?"

Reluctantly, he acquiesced and lay down on the bunk.

Diverted by watching over Tim and knowing her counterpart would look
after Tom as she herself would since the other ship was her, or would
be soon, Sunfire did not devote any attention to keeping track of Tom
by listening into his conversations as she usually did.

---

An EVA-suited Tom stood on the Bridge of the new Vanguard for the
first time and did a slow three-sixty.  At this point it was nothing
more than a glorified toaster.  While the new ship had a computer, it
was without a programme to guide it.  It had been programmed to do the
basics -- how to turn lights on and off, maintain life support, make
the turbolift go up and down and open and close doors.  What had him
so interested was it looked the same as Sunfire but lacked the amber
colour that was her interior.  The longer he looked at it, the more
the dove grey that was this ship's interior made him a bit uneasy.  He
knew it was only a superficial difference, but it was enough.
Thankfully, he was not going to have to live with the change.  Tim
was.

"She's all ready to go," the similarly-attired Maire announced,
handing over the case he had left with her in case something happened
to him or Sunfire while he had been off chasing Gherop.  "All you have
to do is add the finishing touch."

"And make a few adjustments of my own.  Your people are all off?"

"Yes, they've beamed over to the Connemara."

"I think you should go too.  If something goes wrong when I bring the
rest of her systems online, I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'm not going to-"

"Something could go wrong.  Please.  Go."

"All right.  Contact me when you're ready for us to release the
tractor beam."  She called the New Kildarean ship along side them and
they beamed her over as Tom exited the Bridge for the Computer Core.

Twenty minutes later, the Vanguard computer was online, complete with
a duplicate of Sunfire herself to control it.  To transfer his
colleague's consciousness into the original Vanguard, her essence had
been reduced to a series of algorithms.  All that had been necessary
to then duplicate her was to copy her, the same as one would a file
from a database since basically that was all she was now.  A string of
computer code.

"Sunbird?" the familiar voice asked when he was finished.

"Yes."

"It worked."

"Sure did.  You okay?"

"Yes.  All results from my self-diagnostics are positive.  Everything
works.  And you can remove your EVA suit.  Life support and gravity
are normal now."

"I'll hold off on that for a minute, thanks."

"Don't trust me?"  She sounded a bit put out, but he knew she
understood his caution.

"With my life.  Paris to Connemara.  Release the tractor beam."

Through the soles of his magnetic boots, he felt a slight shift in the
deck plates as the tractor beam that had been holding the ship in
orbit as they assembled her was deactivated.  Ignoring the movement,
he kept his eyes on the readings on the console before him and asked
the ship to bring her engines online.  Over the course of the next few
hours, each of the remaining systems came online and were tested as
well.

"And that's it," Tom sighed, making the last adjustment.  "You are
ready to go, Sunfire."  Smiling, he shook his head.  "You know, this
is going to get confusing.  We're going to have to give you a name
change so we can tell you two apart."

"I know," the ship answered.

"Any thoughts?" he asked, gathering up the EVA suit he had shed hours
ago.

"I thought about that when you were duplicating me.  Or rather the
original Sunfire.  I... We thought 'Moonfire' to carry along the
theme."

He thought about it then nodded his approval.  "Moonfire.  Sunfire.
Good.  My duplicate's chosen Timothy, also carrying the theme I guess.
Tom.  Tim.  Can you beam this back to the Connemara?"

The EVA suit vanished back to the storage locker on the Connemara from
which it came.

"Maire wants to come back," Moonfire informed him.

"Let her."

"You had us worried a while ago," Maire complained the instant she
appeared beside him.  "That joyride you took-"

"I had to see if there were any bugs in the propulsion system."

"You still scared the heck out of me.  Find anything wrong?"

"Everything checks out fine.  Your people did an amazing job."

"It was an interesting challenge for us."  She looked about her.  "But
we met it."  She smiled at him.  "So I bet you're hungry.  It's
suppertime at the O'Connells.  I bet your daughter's half way through
smearing her food all over her face." Tom shook his head, not over the
prediction of what M'Nea Madeleine was up to at that moment, but over
the assumption he was hungry.  His stomach still did not appear to
fond of the idea of eating.

"You look tired at any rate," she murmured, placing a hand on his left
bicep.  She quickly withdrew it when he flinched.  "Sorry.  Forgot
your tattoo.  Maaike says it's the word 'B'Elanna's' in Klingon.  She
confided in me what happened between you and her.  You and B'Elanna, I
mean, not you and Maaike.  I think I agree with Maaike.  It's a
strange tattoo to pick if you're trying to put someone out of your
mind as well as life."

"I was drunk."

"I had an uncle who had a retort he always delivered when his brother-
in-law would get intoxicated and blurt out something that he later
tried to take back.  'In vino veritas.'  Truth in wine.  Or in this
case, whatever those horrid things Niels was plying us with last
night.  You still love her, Tom Paris, and you owe it to yourself and
her to go to her and talk this thing out.  I had a good talk with her
and some of the others when I brought them here and-"

"I knew it!" he declared, rounding on her.  "I knew their being here
was little too coincidental."

Maire shifted uncomfortably.  "I faked another accident with the Baile
Atha Cliath.  I found Voyager, faked the accident, making sure they
picked me up and bring me back here.  Once aboard, I made the
suggestion they stay here and do the alterations and we could help
them.  We knew if they were unable to go anywhere, they'd be here when
you returned.  When you found Maaike and Stephane, they sent a message
here saying you were on your way home and I arranged it so your
B'Elanna would see M'Nea Madeleine out with the O'Connells.  We knew
she'd start asking questions after seeing a Rachar child on New
Kildare."

"Why?" he demanded.  Only extreme self-control was keeping his fists
from clenching at his sides.

"Originally, we'd planned to give her enough hints she'd eventually
figure out we knew you and you'd been here, but we didn't have to.
Apparently, you'd mumbled the name M'Nea Madeleine in your sleep a few
times and she remembered it.  Once she had that piece of the puzzle,
we called most of your friends to the O'Connells and told them the
truth about knowing you and you were on your way back here from
wherever."

"First of all, she's not *my* B'Elanna.  She's Harry's.  Secondly,
they're not *my* friends.  They can't stand the sight of me."  He
sighed.  "And thirdly, I don't care what any of you did or why.  It
was a wasted effort, but what's done is done and can't be undone.  I'm
going to see my daughter.  I haven't spent more than fifteen minutes
with her since I got back.  Moonfire, if you could return to the
surface and-" He sent Maire a startled look.  "That's why we had to
land at the OPRF.  You wanted Voyager to see Sunfire and know I was
there."

"Yes.  But since you don't want anyone knowing about Moonfire here,
there's an alternate landing field she can go to.  The Connemara will
give you the co-ordinates.  Voyager doesn't know it, but we inserted
one of our own programmes into their sensor programmes.  It blinded
them to seeing the Connemara or it beaming the sections of Moonfire
into orbit and assembling them.  We'll just keep blinding them to
seeing her."

"Fine.  Moonfire, get the co-ordinates and land.  You and Sunfire can
link up and she can fill you in on what's happened since we left here.
Then I'm going to see my kid."

---

"Captain, you look fatigued."

Slouched against the turbolift wall, a tired Janeway opened her eyes.
"That doesn't even begin to describe it, Tuvok."

He stepped into the lift and gave his destination.  "The meetings
regarding the New Kildarean Relocation-"

"Are about a fascinating puzzle, but exhausting.  So many experts.  So
many theories.  So many arguments between the experts about those
theories.  I thought a fistfight was going to break out a couple of
times."

"Any progress?"

"None.  They have been working on this for years.  It was naïve to
think we could come in and figure it all out in a few days."

"It was possible a different perspective might have discovered an
avenue they had not thought of."

"But that's not what happened.  How have things been going here?  I
hate being away while all this is happening to my ship-"

"But your presence is more useful elsewhere.  The work here is
progressing adequately according to all reports."

"Good."

The lift doors opened.

"So where are you off to?"

"The surface," he stated without elaboration.

She patted his arm as she passed him on her way out of the lift.
"Enjoy yourself."

He gave her a nod as the doors closed.

---

"Thomas, you're home," Nana greeted and gave her grandson a quick
embrace as he stepped into the kitchen.

There was an excited rush of babbling from the occupant of the high
chair that became louder as her grandfather shifted her to the floor.
She tottered towards Tom in a stiff-legged wobble.

"You are getting so good at walking," Tom congratulated, scooping up
his daughter.

She giggled and patted his cheek with a hand that was covered in
whatever Oran had been feeding her before when Tom had arrived.  And
as per Maire's prediction, so was her face.  The one she was busy
burying in the front of Tom's sweater as she tried to hug him with her
short arms.

"Gee, thanks, sweetheart," he said, grimacing at the mess on his
front.

"Do you want something to eat?" Nana offered, picking up the empty
plate at the place they had set for him at the table.  "There's plenty
left."

"Not hungry."  He reached for a napkin to wipe off what little food
was left on M'Nea Madeleine's face and hands.  "I know how Voyager
came to be here," he informed them more as an aside.

"We know.  Maire called us."

"Did she also tell you I wasn't happy to hear it, but I'm not going to
care about it?"

"Yes.  Thomas, honestly, we did have your best interests at heart.  We
thought if you could at least talk things through, then you might feel
better.  The way you left things was not good for any of you.  You
need closure if that part of your life is truly over.  Or you need to
talk things through if they're not.  Quite frankly, Thomas, your
seanair and I don't think they are.  And that's the last we're going
to say on the subject," she quickly added before he could deny her
opinion.  "Everyone's told you to talk to Voyager's people, that
there's more -- and less -- going on than you think and you need to
talk to them about it."

"What do you mean 'more and less?'"

"That's for you to find out, Thomas.  But it will be worth the effort
if you do."

He shook his head, forcing away his curiosity.  "The only thing I plan
to find out right now is if this one's as ready for bed as she appears
to be.  Excuse me."

M'Nea Madeleine was indeed as sleepy as her limp body told him.  The
entire time he bathed her and put her in her pyjamas, her eyelids
remained at half-mast.  By the time he tucked her into the crib Oran
had moved from the workshop and into the bedroom next to Tom's, the
child was sound asleep.  Settling himself in the rocking chair next to
the crib, he sat there, thinking and watching her sleep.

'How are you going to leave her?' he questioned himself.

*You can't,* Zjna pronounced.  *You know if you leave here you won't
ever be coming back.  If your plans fail, you and Tim will die.  If
you succeed, so much will be different.  The child will be-*

'I don't want to think about that!' he insisted, launching himself
from his chair and into the bathroom to refresh his sweater that still
had his daughter's supper on it.  'I have to do this.  This new plan
is the only way to go.  The best way for all of us.'

*But are you willing to sacrifice everything that you're going to have
to sacrifice, whether it works or not?  Your daughter?  Your friends?
Your life?*

'If it stops The Protectors, yes.  And it's not much of a life, is it?
So it's hardly a sacrifice.'

*But you do have one.  And you have a child and family here.  Don't
give all that up so easily.  Go with the certainty, Tom Paris.  Not
the uncertainty.  Stay here, with all of them.  Don't go off on this
vendetta of yours.*

Tom yanked his sweater back over his head and dimmed the lights in the
bedroom as he walked through it to the hall.  'It's what has to be
done!  I can't think of me.  Not when there are so many others who
must be considered.'

He went down the front stairs and out of the house.  He was not in the
mood to see his grandparents right then, despite their contention the
subject of his seeing the Crew again was a closed subject.  Refuge
from it all was what he needed right now and he found it when he went
around the side of the house and into the backyard to stand near the
water garden where it was peaceful and quiet.

Or he had thought he had found it there until a familiar voice sounded
behind him less than two minutes later.

"This garden was included in one of the holoprograms you and I wrote
together," Tuvok remarked.  "I wondered at the time if it were not an
actual place given the level of detail you added to it."

Tom did not turn around.  He continued staring up at the moons and
planets visible in the night sky.  Thanks to the dust cloud, no light
from any other stars or anything else could be seen so only those
things in the cloud with New Kildare were visible to him.  There was
no evidence that there was anything else in the Universe, just what he
saw above him at that moment.  The loneliness of it all was hitting
him when the Vulcan's comment reminded him he was not alone on this
planet.  The people he most wished to avoid were right there, waiting
to swoop down on him when he least expected it.  Like right now.

"What are you doing here, Tuvok?"

"Obviously, I came to see you."

"Why?"  The instant the question left his lips, he knew it was a
mistake.  It gave Tuvok precisely the opening he wanted to introduce
whatever topic it was he wanted to discuss -- probably the issue of
his departure from Voyager and why.

"I wish to ask you to reconsider your resignation from Voyager," he
answered as Tom had predicted.  "Your stated reason for leaving no
longer is valid.  The Rachar are gone except for M'Nea Madeleine.
There is no reason for you not to return to Voyager as so many wish
you would."

Common sense told Tom to just fob Tuvok off with a curt "no" and walk
away.  Or common sense would have had it not deserted him at the
utterance of Tuvok's last comment.  "'So many wish I would?' Tuvok,
what ship have you been serving on?  Clearly not Voyager.  The crew
wanted me gone and now they have it.  End of story."

"If that is what they wanted, why then would eight of us with the
input of two more and the moral support of many others have met the
night before we encountered Ms. Molloy and compiled our arguments for
presentation to Captain Janeway.  All in favour of Voyager's going to
New Rachar after you?"

He restrained his desire to whirl around and stare at the Lieutenant
Commander in shock.

"Why then would some have gone so far as suggest that if the Captain
refused to go, we sedate the Captain and Commander," Tuvok continued,
"fabricate an excuse for their temporarily being removed from command,
and travel to New Rachar instead of here?  That one was a bit over the
top as you would say, but it does effectively demonstrate the
desperation of some to restore you to Voyager's family."

"Family?"  This time the disbelief came out.  "Some family."

"I agree, things as of late have been strained, but I do believe they
have and will continue to improve.  The others, for the most part,
have begun to accept your past-"

Tom's head snapped around.  "'Accept my past?'  Oh, that's big of
them.  I'm so glad they have found it in their hearts to excuse a few
murders and such."

"It came as a shock to them."

"It came as a shock to *me!*  Do you honestly think *I* am taking this
calmly?"

"No, I think if anything you're taking this quite the opposite.  Your
inner turmoil over these revelations has manifested in physical signs
as well.  You have lost a considerable amount of mass.  Mrs. O'Connell
says she has not seen you eat anything in sometime and when you did
eat it was very little.  It appears you are not sleeping.  In this
light, the circles under your eyes are rather distinct."

"Thank you so much for the psychiatric evaluation, but if I'd wanted
one, I'd just go see Nana.  That was her field before she retired."
He made a frustrated gesture.  "I don't... I don't understand you.
Why are you here?"

"I wished to see you."

"Why?  Why'd you of all people not turn away from me?  Tell me that?
When you we in my body and you saw what I did to DeLaur, you didn't
freak out.  You didn't denounce me as some monster and try to toss me
in the Brig or get rid of me somehow?  You never liked me or trusted
me.  You always regarded me as nothing more than the ex-con I am."  He
hit his forehead with the heel of his hand.  "Living in this mixed up
brain of mine, you found more than enough evidence than you'd ever
have needed to justify your actions.  Why didn't you act on it?  Why
are you trying to get me to come back to the ship?"

Tuvok looked at nothing for a long while.

"See, you can't even figure out why."

Brown eyes met blue in the moonlight.  "What I could not figure out is
the exact words to express my answer.  It is true that for a long time
I regarded you with suspicion.  Your past history hardly engendered a
sense of dependability or responsibility and with Voyager's precarious
situation in the Delta Quadrant, a crewmember who cannot be counted
upon is a detriment to the crew.  But then you began to show your true
self and it became obvious your reputation was undeserved."  He almost
made a face.  "Your reputation for sarcastic remarks and joviality
*was* warranted.  The rest was not.  Then I shared your body and I saw
more of you.  I saw your kindness and caring for others, even if they
disliked you.  I saw your unorthodox, yet extremely successful,
leadership style and realized it was effective.  And I saw how deeply
what The Protectors did to you effected you.  I know you did not
choose to be what they made you, nor do you enjoy it now that you know
what you've done.  As for why I am here, I was one of the eight who
was actively attempting to reunite you with the crew.  I firmly
believe it is what is best for the crew and for you."

Tuvok performed the straightening of his posture and diverting of his
gaze that those who knew him best knew always presaged a comment that,
had he not been Vulcan, would have been phrased quite differently.
"And life without you aboard would be dull."

Tom also looked away.  Without having said the words, Tuvok's message
had been communicated.  Tom was his friend and he missed him being
there, as annoying and infuriating as his presence often could be.

Confused by this development, Tom finally asked a question that had
been in the back of his mind since the incident that provoked it had
occurred.  "Why did you come to the holodeck?  The day I was removed
from Sickbay and the Helm because everyone was terrified I'd fly them
into a planet or kill them when I was supposed to be healing them?
You'd been keeping tabs on me.  For my protection more than the crew's
you said.  You just came there to make sure I wasn't up to something?
Or was it an accident?  You wanted to use the holodeck yourself, but
found me in it instead."

"I came to find you because I was concerned as to what you would do,
yes, but to yourself, not the crew.  You were on a holodeck.  You
always have had a fondness for removing the safeties and that was when
you were in an allegedly fine emotional state.  Considering you were
not in Sickbay as you were scheduled to be, I knew there had to be a
reason and it probably would involve you being in a less than calm
emotional state so I came to ensure you were acting sensibly."  His
frown could be heard in his voice.  "Even if everyone else was not."

The pilot's eyes widened in surprise as he stared sideways at him.
"You're actually talking against Janeway?"

"Not precisely.  Throughout this entire interlude, everyone has been
acting out of character at times and rash decisions have been made.
The everyone includes yourself, Mr. Paris."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Leaving Voyager."

Again, he looked away.  "That hardly was rash."

"Leaving everything and everyone you know for a group of people who
were-"

"Who were what?  Safe and sound where they were?  That's what Chakotay
and Janeway claimed at the time, but they weren't, were they?  I
should never have left them.  I should have sent you, Harry, Neelix,
and the Doc back to Voyager on the Gherop ship and had you bring
Voyager to New Rachar.  Then I would have been there when the Rachar
needed me."

"And you would have died and Voyager may have been caught on the way
there as your friends say you said Sme and Mksa's ship was.  One ship,
no matter how advanced as Sunfire is, could not have stopped what
happened on New Rachar.  You would not have survived long against
them.  No matter how many lives they say you have."

Tom made a face to himself.

"And that was not the real reason you left.  Of at least not all of
it, was it?  Your other reason has been made public."

He related the incident with Naomi overhearing and blurting things out
in the Mess Hall.  Tom stopped him before he could go on about the
revision that was made to the story the next day.

"I've heard you all know about it.  I don't need a replay."

"All of it?"

"Yes."

Tuvok frowned at him.  "It is not my place to comment as I am not
directly involved, however I will say you do need to discuss what
happened with Ms. Torres and Mr. Kim.  Even if you are not willing to
take her back after this-"

"Take her back?!  Are you crazy?  Why the Hell would she want me to
take her back when she's got perfect Harry Kim to warm her bed?"

Tuvok's frown eased.  "You don't know everything.  I wondered when you
contended that you did.  You need to speak with Lieutenant Torres and
Mr. Paris on this subject.  I could tell you what more you need to
know, but I do not think you would believe me if I told you.  I will
tell you things are not quite as they appear to be, Mr. Paris. That is
all I will say."

His audience made a noise of disbelief.  After everyone telling him
basically what Tuvok had just said and now for the second time that
day, someone suggesting to him things were not how he thought they
were but refusing to elaborate, he was fed up.  "'Not quite as they
appear to be?'  You tell me then, Tuvok, since you seem so determined
to advise me on how I should be running my life, how *should* I
interpret what I've heard and more importantly seen with my own eyes?
I could have been misinformed, fine, but misunderstood what I saw for
myself? Doubtful.  Not when it was as obvious as what I saw.  Not many
interpretations one can make from that."

"Make from what precisely?"

"When I heard about them, I didn't believe it.  I thought about it for
a while.  Why would Geron be telling me such a lie and have Jenny back
him up?  Then I went to see Harry.  My so-called best friend.  When he
answered the door, he was dressed for bed, looked like he had just got
out of bed, and there was B'Elanna, my so-called mate and love of my
life, standing in front of the bed, finishing dressing.  So you tell
me, Tuvok.  You tell me how I could possibly misinterpret that?"

The Vulcan nearly lost his composure, he was so shocked.  Tom saw this
and, hearing no rebuttal, he nodded at his debate opponent then went
up the path to the house.  Tuvok stood there in the night, thinking
for a long time, wondering if he should talk to Ensign Kim and
Lieutenant Torres or just leave well enough alone.  After a while he
came to a decision and returned to Voyager.

---

"Captain, our destination *is* the dust cloud."

I'Ra nodded.  "The C'Cri?"

"Will be here in moments.  Sir, we have analyzed their ship and their
path here.  Indications are they know precisely where they are going.
They have made course corrections that show they are following one of
the other trails we have detected entering the cloud.  Clearly, their
sensors are not damaged as we thought, so may I again suggest working
with them?  In addition to the trail we are following, there's the one
they're after plus another.  That's at least three ships that are in
that cloud already.  Three against one are not good odds at anytime
and they're even worse when we'd be trying to trail them through this
cloud.  Our sensors can only penetrate a short distance into it.  The
farther into it we go, the shorter that distance will become.  We
won't be able to see them until we're almost on top of them and
there's no telling we'll be able to get out once we go in."

"So we lay down markers as we go and have weapons and shields to
maximum.  It's that simple."

"But what if we and the C'Cri worked together?  We would improve our
chances of success.  And they could be useful.  Given their heading,
they have been following one or both of the other ships.  They might
have knowledge about them that could be useful if we have to confront
them."

I'Ra considered this.  The smile that soon creased his face betrayed
the plan forming in his mind.  "Yes, you have a good point.  Get me
the C'Cri."

"Yes, sir."

---

"It's the captain of the T'Ar."

E'Cta was surprised, but did not show it.  'Here comes the demand we
withdraw or something along those lines,' she thought.  "I'll speak
with him."

I'Ra's unsmiling face appeared on the screen.  "What are you doing
here?" he demanded bluntly.

"I could ask you the same question, Captain, but we both already know
the answers to those questions.  What is it that you want?"

"I want to propose we work together to capture our quarry.
Objections?"

"None."  She heard her First Officer shift uncomfortably behind her
and ignored it.  E'Cta had not forgotten with whom she was dealing nor
how this would end if she did not plan for after they had Voyager in
their grasp.  She knew the T'Ar's captain would be.

"Good."

"In anticipation of your request, I formulated a plan.  Care to hear
it?"

"Of course."  His tone indicated he would "hear" it.  "Listen" to it
and "follow" it were something else entirely.

---

"I hear the alterations are complete."

Not glancing up from her console, B'Elanna nodded to Chakotay.  "We
have to double check everything and do the diagnostics, Commander."
Her stress on the title showed she still was displeased with him and
did not welcome his intrusion into her domain.

"Good.  Then we'll be home soon."

She straightened and turned on him.  Literally.  "First, we have to
finish the diagnostics.  Then we have to finish trying to get Tom to
talk to us.  Once we've done that and he's come home where he belongs
*then* we'll go home."

"B'Elanna-"

"If there's nothing else work related, Commander, I have a lot to do
and I still haven't had breakfast yet."

Chakotay sighed as she walked off.  'So much for her having got the
point that Paris doesn't want to come back and her giving up on him.
I should have known she wouldn't concede defeat easily.  She never
does.'

---

"This has to be confusing for her, but she doesn't seem to care," Tim
laughed.

Smiling, Tom shrugged.  "More attention for her."

After she had eaten her breakfast and Tom had managed to swallow a
couple of mouthfuls of toast without having to make a dive for the
nearest bathroom, they had come here to Moonfire where Tim now
resided, it having been decided earlier that Tom would remain with
Sunfire.  At first the little girl had not known what to make of
seeing two of her father, but that confusion had lasted only seconds
then she was crawling up into Tim's lap for a hug.  He readily gave
it.

"Tuvok came to see me last night at the O'Connells," he told his clone
a few minutes later.  "According to him, there are some on Voyager
that want Tom Paris back amongst them.  Some of them even supposedly
were working on ways to get the Captain to come get us, er, me."

"Do you believe him?  He is willing to lie *if* it's for the good of
the ship, remember."

"Yeah.  I believe him.  Some of the crew must have realized they might
need Tom Paris before they got home or something.  I don't know.  And
he harped on how I need to talk to B'Elanna and Harry about what
happened.  How there's more to this than I know."

"Tom?  Considering all the people who've told you that?  You think
maybe there is?"

He ran his hands through his hair.  "I don't know.  How much more
could there be?  She's pregnant?  It's not mine if she is.  That
implant is working at least."

"Maybe it's got something to do with Raven and his hormones?  Maybe
they're what made her sleep with him?  It wasn't her doing.  She just
couldn't help herself?"

"Grasping at straws."

"I know, but aren't you hoping it is something like that?"

"She still would have slept with him.  And that wouldn't excuse his
having slept with her."

"He was torn up about Souris.  Maybe it was a looking for consolation
and now he wants to disembowel himself on your doorstep out of shame?"

"We really are melodramatic at times.  I never realized that until
now."

Tim grinned back then sobered.  "It might be that.  We'll never know
unless you talk to them."

"And if it's something we don't want to hear?"

"Then it's something we don't want to hear.  But you and I both know
you want to find out what it is.  It's nagging at you, everyone
knowing something we don't and no one will tell us what it is."

"Yeah."  He gestured to their daughter.  "You want to look after her
for a while?"

"You're going to see them now?"

"No.  I have to see Maire.  She mentioned Voyager was working with
them on trying to get System 091 home and I was interested to know if
they've made any progress.  And I want to know when they'll be
finished with Voyager's alterations."

"Can't be long now."

"No, it can't.  Moonfire, if you'll beam me to Maire's office?"

When Tim and M'Nea Madeleine were left alone on board, Moonfire and
Sunfire finished their conversation.

"So much for keeping them away from the Voyager crew," Moonfire
grimaced.

"We should have been monitoring them and Voyager instead of talking
and watching Tim."

"But Tom was just going to the O'Connells.  How could we have known
anyone, especially Tuvok, would go find him?"

"That Klingon bitch did the other night.  And the Delaney twin.  But
that was before you were activated."

"So we'd better start monitoring him and them again.  You take
Voyager.  I'll do Tom."

There was a pause as the two ships attempted to do just that.

"Whatever the New Kildareans did to Voyager must be blocking me.  I
can't tap into her systems."

"There's clearly some bug in my systems because I can't monitor Tom."

"Get Tim to look you over and see if he can find it.  I'll keep trying
with Voyager."

---

Q smirked behind his mate's back.  He was beginning to wonder if those
two would ever discover his little bit of tampering.  And if Q was
listening to them, which he doubted, she would think it was the New
Kildarean's fault.  Now he finally was going to see some fireworks.
He just wished his mate was not there or he could have interfered some
more and made sure the fireworks happened right away.  But she was
there, so he had to wait until they blundered into him themselves.

---

"It's no good.  It came back negative too."

After beaming M'Nea Madeleine back to her great-grandparents, Tim had
started to work checking for the malfunction in her comm system.  He
had been searching for almost an hour now and still had found nothing.

"There has to be an explanation," he insisted, removing yet another
panel and scanning the circuitry inside with an Engineering tricorder.
"Are you sure your diagnostic programme isn't faulty and that's why
you can't find the problem yourself?"

"But it was fine when I ran it right after I was activated."

"I'm not finding anything wrong here."

"But there has to be."

"I'm not finished yet.  I'll keep looking."

As he continued, Moonfire told herself to stop fretting over Tom.
'Yes, you can't hear or see what he's doing, but he was just going to
see Maire.  There shouldn't be anything to worry about.'  But she
could not help it.  Tom was out there and visions of horrible things
happening to him were going through her mind.  The most terrible image
was that he had run into that 'Klingon bitch' -- a term she had picked
up from Sunfire -- and she was upsetting him with more lies. Worried,
she tried to locate him with her external sensors and discovered they
worked and he was safe in Maire's office.  She also discovered
something with her long-range sensors that told her "safe" was a
relative term.

---

"-So they haven't been able to explain our being here any better than
our own scientists have."

Tom nodded and wrapped his hands around the mug of tea she given him.
"I'm sorry.  When I heard they were working on the problem with your
people, I hoped they might come up with something."

Maire shrugged.  "But we're here.  We're happy.  Sure we'd be happier
back in the Alpha Quadrant with everyone else, but here's not so bad.
And now with the Vanguard schematics, we can build a fleet of them and
go back to the Alpha Quadrant if we so desire.  It would be a shame to
leave all this behind, but it is nice to have that option."

"Just remember, the Gopher Hole weakens the space where you use it.
You can use it in an area once and you'll be okay.  Space seems to be
able to handle that.  Use it more than once in the same area and you
have troubles."

"Understood."  The computer on her desk beeped.  "Excuse me."  She
tapped the appropriate button to open the channel and received only
audio.

"Sunbird?"

Tom frowned.  "Sunfire?  Why are you using this channel?"

"I'll explain later.  We have bigger troubles." She relayed the scans
she and Moonfire were taking.  "Long range sensors show two Gherop
ships on their way here."

"They're a long way from Gherop space."

"One of them is the T'Ar.  The troop ship that was in the area when
Mining Station 189 blew.  The one that picked up the Gherop shuttle.
The other one, I don't recognize."

"Any indications as to where they're headed?"

"Here.  We've been watching them for five minutes now and they've made
only subtle alterations to their course.  Each time, it was to bring
them closer to here.  The smaller one's flight path indicates it's
following the warp trails of the Dublin and Voyager.  The other, the
Connacht's.  At their current velocity, it'll be thirty minutes at
most before they reach the outer edge of the dust cloud.  If they can
keep following the trails in, it will be about another thirty before
they reach the inner edge of the cloud.  We've checked and if they go
slow, they should be able to follow the warp trails right to us."

"We'll just have to take care of them before that happens.  Maire, in
the meantime, you alert everyone on the surface that New Kildare might
be coming under attack."  He stood and set his cup on Maire's desk.
"Sunfire, you and Moon are to prepare for launch.  And send M'Nea
Madeleine to the O'Connells."

"She's already there," Moonfire answered.

"Good.  Sunfire, I'll be with you in a minute.  Paris out."

Maire gaped at him.  "You're not actually going out there to confront
them?"

"There are only two of them," Tom said.  "We can handle them."

"But that one is enormous."

"And we have cloaks and a few tricks up our sleeves the Gherop don't
know about.  We'll take them."

Sadly, she shook her head.  "When Maaike and Stephane followed you, we
never thought about their shuttle leaving a warp trail or anyone
following it back here.  Or when I went to get Voyager."

"You didn't know the danger, so you didn't know there was any need for
hiding your warp trail.  But that doesn't matter now.  How far have
Voyager's alterations progressed?"

"We finished them early this morning.  Right now, they're running the
final diagnostics to see everything works."

"Good.  We may need them as our ace in the hole.  You contact your
president and warn her about the danger.  Then tell Janeway the same.
We'll go out to intercept them and hopefully take care of them before
they get here.  But if we can't, then it will be up to Voyager to take
care of them."

"You can't fire on them inside the cloud," she warned.  "Phaser fire
will ignite the dust."  She named off the long series of elements that
consisted of the majority of the particles in the dust cloud.  "In the
past, we've had some close calls because of that."

"And the same will happen if we fire photon torpedoes.  One explosion,
a chain reaction starts, taking the cloud and all of us with it."

"Exactly.  I wonder if the Gherop know this?"

Tom grimaced.  "I don't know, but we definitely don't want to have to
find out.  We'll take care of this, but if we can't, make sure Voyager
and your own people know not to engage the Gherop inside the cloud or
anywhere near it.  If you have to though, lure them as close to the
centre of the cloud.  Every shot will have to hit its mark.  That'll
mean a close range firefight only.  Let Voyager take point and-"

"Firefight?  Point?"

Tom sighed inwardly.  'You're dealing with a civilian,' he reminded
himself.  "If you have to fight the Gherop, let Voyager go after them
first.  Keep your shuttles back to guard New Kildare.  And if you have
to fire at them, you have to be close to them so the shot or torpedo
doesn't go wide and hit the cloud.  If they get into the centre of the
cloud, there's plenty of room in here so any explosion of their ships
or yours shouldn't effect the cloud.  But I can't be sure so we'll
have to stop them before they get in.  Just in case, have all your
people get to shelter.  Basements or anything underground.  You'll
have the greatest protection down there if anything happens.  Okay?"

"Got it.  Good luck, Tom."

"And to you," he shouted over his shoulder as he ran out of the
office.

---

"What do we do?" Oran asked their guest after they had listened to the
message Maire sent to apprise them of the situation.

"We launch our ships as Tom says."

"Tom could get hurt," Nana worried.  "Either of them."

"I know.  If it looks like that is going to be the outcome, we'll
reveal ourselves and take care of them."

"But we still haven't done all that we set out to do."

"And I hope we still can do it, but it looks like it might be too
late for that.  Besides, our approach so far has not worked.  Perhaps
the more direct approach would.  The groundwork we've laid and the ECH
will help."

"I hope it doesn't not backfire on us.  Revealing ourselves to him
never was the idea.  He might react badly."

"He'll understand.  I'm sure of it."

---

"Captain, we're receiving a transmission from Maire Molloy."

Standing next to Tuvok as he ran the final diagnostic on the New
Kildarean improvements to their internal sensors, Janeway nodded to
Harry.

A moment later, Maire's anxious face appeared on the main viewer.
"Captain, I've already warned my people and now I'm warning you.
There are two ships on a direct intercept with New Kildare.  Tom says
they're Gherop and should reach the cloud within half an hour. He's
going to head them off before they get that far and our ships already
are preparing to protect the planet, but if Tom can't take care of the
Gerhop, he wants Voyager to be ready to defend us.  I must make it
absolutely clear, however, that weapons are not be fired inside the
cloud or it will blow us all into the next life."

Janeway, all too familiar with the chemical composition of the dust
cloud thanks to the interminably long discussions with the bickering
scientists, nodded.  "Understood."

"Maire out."

"Captain," Tuvok said almost immediately, "there are dozens of
shuttles already  lifting off from the surface.  They will be no match
for the Gherop ships if they- They have vanished."

She bent over his console.  "What do you mean vanished?"

"It appears they have cloaking devices on their ships, Captain."

"Tom must have given it to them."

"Regardless of how they received them, while they may not be any match
for the Gherop in weaponry, the cloaks will give them an edge.  One
which we do not have."

"Let's hope Tom and Sunfire can handle the Gherop before the New
Kildareans have to try to.  Harry, beam back any of our people still
on the surface.  Janeway to Engineering."

"Torres here," B'Elanna's voice answered back over the sounds of
discussion in the background.

"I hope you haven't found any problems, Lieutenant."

"None so far, but we haven't finished yet."

"You have less than half an hour to complete whatever's left."

"Captain?"

"The Gherop are on their way to pay us a visit."

---

"How far can the Gherop long range sensors see?" Tim asked as he
piloted Moonfire towards the inner edge of the dust cloud.

"About the same as Voyager," Tom answered from Sunfire, which was
keeping pace along side.  "Why?"

"As soon as we start into the cloud, we'll be visible.  The
displacement of the dust particles before and behind.  Any one who's
looking will be able to pinpoint where we are instantly."

"Including Voyager who doesn't know you two exist."

"And we need to keep it that way if our plan is to work."

"Okay, tighten up formation.  Sunfire, extend your shields around
Moonfire.  We'll go through looking like one large object instead of
two smaller ones, that way Voyager and the Gherop will never know.
They haven't any idea how far Sunfire's shields extend out around her
so they won't think anything of us displacing such a large volume of
space."

The advantage of Tim being a clone of Tom was they both had the same
flying skills and approaches to piloting situations so when they
performed the manoeuvre it was flawlessly done and with zero danger to
either ship.  With anyone else, that might not have been the case.
Anything could have gone wrong at any point, but they made it through
to the other side and separated once more with ease.  And by then, Tom
had been briefed on Moonfire's inability to access his subdermal
communicator and Sunfire's to access Voyager's internal sensors.

"We'll have to look into all that later," he dismissed. "We'll just
have to hope Moonfire doesn't have anymore bugs and is ready to do
battle.  Either way, you'll be finding out the hard way, Tim."

"I did a poke around with the tricorder and didn't find anything so we
should be okay.  How do you want to handle the Gherop?"

"Can you tap into the Gherop's computers, Moonfire?"

"No," she responded.

"So no taking over their controls and stopping them that way.  A plain
and simple pre-emptive strike then.  Sunfire, what's Voyager's
status?"

She showed him on the Helm console.  "They're almost through the
cloud."

"Good.  Let's try and make their presence unnecessary."

---

"U'Pde?"

He yanked on the last of his uniform and nodded.  "Yes?"

"We are approaching what appears to be Voyager's destination.  There
are, however, a few problems."

They stepped out of the P'Ro's Captain's quarters and started for the
Bridge.  "A few?"

"The destination is a dust cloud and there already are two of our
ships approaching it."

"I don't care if the leader -- whomever that is now -- is there him or
herself.  I want Voyager and Sunfire."  He settled into his command
chair in the centre of the Bridge.  "And I want the crew alive.
Emphasize that to the crew."

"Yes, U'Pde."

His dark grey eyes settled on the new addition imbedded in the arm of
his chair.  "Soon you will have you vengeance," he told the image of
U'Pti.  "Soon."

---

"Report," I'Ra demanded.

"Sensors indicate the trails continue on towards that cloud, Captain."
his First Officer informed him.  "But we're still too far from it to
scan it further."

"So we still don't know what there could be, if anything in there.
They could be using it as a hiding place.  There might be other ships
in there whose warp trails we have not detected yet.  A station of
some sort even."

"So what are your orders?  Do we hold here and wait to see who comes
out or do we go closer and provoke a confrontation?"

"I would prefer to have more information.  Is the C'Cri still with
us?"

"They're still limping along."

"As long as they can stay together long enough to play their part,
that's all I care abo- What is it?"

"A ship.  One of ours.  Just appearing on long range sensors.  It's
the P'Ro."

"What's it doing here?"

"Don't know, sir.  It was one of the ships attached to Rachar."

"Send a message to them.  Demand to know what they're doing here."

I'Ra had a bad feeling about this newcomer, but it was banished as the
Bridge rocked from impacts to their shields.  Caught unawares, the
T'Ar crew were tossed from their seats.

"Report!" I'Ra shouted, scrambling back into his command chair as more
volleys hit home.

"Unknown attackers.  Shields are down to eighty-two percent."

"Re-enforce the shields and return fire!"

"We can't see anything to fire at.  They're invisible."

"Analyze their firing patterns and project their flight path and
target that."

"There's a disturbance in the cloud."

"What do you mean 'disturbance?'"

"Cannot tell at this point."

I'Ra glared at the view of the cloud showing on the main viewer.  Then
he began to smile as Voyager shot out of the dust particles.  "There
she is.  Launch the fighters."

---

"Captain, we've cleared the cloud," Baytart announced.

"Harry, try to hail the Gherop," Janeway instructed.

The ensign tried repeatedly with no success.

"Keep trying, Harry.  Tuvok, what is it?"

"I don't know," the Lieutenant Commander at Tactical responded in a
puzzled voice to match his puzzled frown.  His eyes remained glued to
his readouts.

Taking her seat, she gave Chakotay a look then they both cast their
eyes to the screen between their chairs.

Free of the last of the particles, their sensors cleared and they were
able to take their first look at their enemy.  Merely by looking, it
was easy to see the smaller ship presented no major threat.  The
larger one, was trouble however.  The squadron of fighters suddenly
appearing from every launch bay only confirmed that.

"The larger ship's shields are losing power," Tuvok continued.  "The
smaller ships are two-occupant ships."

"Mr. Baytart, move further away from the cloud.  Tuvok, do not fire
unless we have to.  We don't know where Sunfire is.  We don't want to
hit Tom by mistake."

And neither did the Gherop it seemed.  The crew of Voyager all blinked
as three of the Gherop fighters were destroyed by phaser blasts that
came from nowhere to rip through them.  Another two went the way of
the first three seconds later.  Both the fighters and the T'Ar tried
concentrating their fire in places they anticipated their attacker
would be, but all they succeeded in doing was taking out a few of
their own fighters in the process.

The C'Cri, not actively engaged in the battle up to this point, broke
from the protection of the T'Ar's side and headed straight towards
Voyager, all weapons firing.  One short blast from Voyager's main
phaser banks was all it took to knock the rattletrap ship off of
course and spin harmlessly away.  The fighters who approached were not
so easily subdued.  Voyager shook with several hits, but continued to
fire back against the fighters that just seemed to keep coming.

---

"Sunbird, the little ship's gone after Voyager," Sunfire told her
pilot.

"Ignore it.  It's crippled," was the response.  "If they can't handle
that piece of space junk, they should abandon ships now.  Tim,
Moonfire, concentrate on the fighters.  I'm going after the T'Ar."

---

Voyager, however, did not ignore it.

"Captain," Harry called out, "the smaller ship.  It's out of control
and almost powerless.  They're sending out an SOS but their people
aren't responding."

Janeway looked at her First Officer.  "I think we have an opportunity
here, Commander."

Chakotay immediately picked up on her meaning.  "You're thinking we
rescue them and they're so grateful they talk their friends into
ending this?"

"It's worth a shot.  Mr. Baytart, get us to that ship.  Tuvok, lock
onto it once we're in range of the tractor beam."

The Security Chief was the voice of caution as always.  "Captain, this
might be a trap.  Or if it is not, it is unlikely the crew of that
ship will be interested in anything other than carrying out their
orders to capture us.  Their assisting us to end this conflict is
unlikely."

"But not impossible.  We have to at least try."

"Aye, Captain."

---

"What the Hell are they doing?" Tom gasped, glancing at Voyager's
course change.  "They had orders to-"

"They're not soldiers," Sunfire reminded him.

"No, but I didn't think they were stupid.  Sunfire to Moonfire, are
you seeing this?"

"Voyager?" Tim asked.  "Yeah.  Janeway to the rescue again."

"Well, not this ti- Damnit!"

---

It was a trap.  As soon as Voyager had caught the C'Cri in her tractor
beam, all of the fighters broke off from the T'Ar and swarmed Voyager
and the C'Cri.  At first, Voyager thought the fighters were coming to
protect the injured ship.  Then the "injured ship" demonstrated quite
effectively it needed no protection from anyone.  The fighter's pelted
Voyager's shields with volley after volley while the C'Cri sent
feedback into the tractor beam, knocking it out and causing a further
weakening of the shields at the same time.  Captain Janeway tried
having Baytart move them to safety, but they were surrounded.

---

"Tim, break off and help me clear a path here for these idiots."

"I'm trying, but I have to clear one for myself first.  Where do they
keep coming from?"

"I don't know, but that third Gherop ship on long range?  It's coming
right for us."

"Just what we didn't need."

"The Gherop are going to win at this rate," Sunfire predicted
gloomily.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Tom bit out.

"I don't think there's much anyone can do about it now.  We have to
retreat and draw them away from New Kildare."

---

Maire's office door opened and Nana, Oran, and M'Nea Madeleine
entered.

"I've analyzed the battle.  With the inclusion of this third Gherop
vessel that will arrive within minutes and if things continue to
progress in the manner in which it appears they shall, Tom and the
others will not survive."

"We cannot permit that to happen," Maire was reminded.  "We have no
choice but to take care of this ourselves.  Send the message to
Voyager and Sunfire and Moonfire to get as far from here as possible."

"I've calculated the minimum safe distance.  It will take them three
point two seven minutes to achieve it."

"Then they should get going.  Send our ships out."

---

"Moonbird, look," Moonfire called to her pilot.

Tim glanced at what she wanted him to see.  "Oh, no.  Tom, there are
disturbances in the cloud.  Lots of them.  New Kildarean's are
coming."

"What?" Tom exclaimed.  "Has everyone taken leave of their senses?
Sunfire, open a channel to them."

"They're calling us," Sunfire informed him.

"Stephane to Sunfire and Moonfire," the audio only message began.

"Stephane?  What the-"

"Just listen.  You need to get Voyager to the following co-ordinates
and immediately.  We have a way to take care of the Gherop, but we
need all of you out of here."

"Take care of how?"

"Just do it, you two.  Stephane out."

"What are they up to?  And how'd he know about Moonfire?"

"Figure it out later," Tim demanded.  "Voyager's up to her nacelles in
alligators and the T'Ar is moving in for the kill.  Not to mention our
late entrant to this shooting match is fast approaching."

"Okay, okay.  What's your status?"

"I've taken a few hits.  Shields to ninety-one percent.  Cloak at
ninety-seven.  You?"

"Eighty-nine and ninety-five."

"What we did at Kaod'a Prime?"

"That was with three ships though," Tom reminded him.  "I don't know
how two ships will fare."

"It's only for a short time."

"If the New Kildareans can do what they think they can."

"Fine.  You tell Voyager.  I'll look after ploughing us a path."

---

Considering it had been almost two weeks since they had last heard Tom
Paris' voice and the emotional upheaval everyone had been through
since, Janeway's voice was remarkably calm when she answered his hail.
"Go ahead, Mr. Paris."

"Your Helm and Tactical will be receiving co-ordinates and
instructions," he informed her in an equally emotionless voice.
"Who's on each?"

"Baytart on Helm.  Tuvok on Tactical."

"Good.  Listen up, gentlemen.  This is what's going to happen."  Tom
briefly outlined the plan, not mentioning Tim or Moonfire.
"Questions?"

"What are the New Kildareans going to do to the Gherop?"

"I don't know and I don't care.  My concern is getting Voyager out of
the way so they can do it.  Pablo, Tuvok, we're in place.  Surrender
control now."

The Helm and Tactical officers removed their hands from their consoles
as the ships assumed control of them.

"I don't want to destroy them," Janeway tried to argue.  "I want to
try to talk with them and-"

"There is no talking with the Gherop.  They have orders to capture
Voyager and Sunfire intact, but if they absolutely have to destroy
her, they will.  And I don't have time to argue.  That third ship is
almost here."

"But, Tom-"

"We will do whatever it takes to protect New Kildare.  The Gherop may
refrain from killing Voyager's crew, but New Kildareans are a
different matter.  Now just sit back and let us handle this.  Paris
out."

Janeway huffed, angry at her former Helmsman's cavalier attitude
towards the Gherop.  She too hated the Gherop for trying to take her
ship and her crew and for tricking them so thoroughly, yet killing
them was a last resort.  She would have preferred to talk to them
first and exhaust that avenue only now Tom had control of Voyager's
systems and she could not do anything to stop him from doing what he
wanted.

---

"Press on," I'Ra ordered smugly.  "We almost have them.  Remind all
our people to fire only until their shields are weak then stop.  With
the threat of destruction before them, they'll have to surrender."

"Captain, the P'Ro is here."

"Have they finally explained their presence?"

"No, they refuse to respond to- Message coming in from them now."

"On screen."

U'Pde's face appeared on the main view screen.  "Thank you so much for
having found Voyager for me, T'Ar."

"What are you talking about?"

"Voyager is mine.  You and your people will hold them at bay while my
people board her and take her crew."

"D'Itu has ordered she be brought back to the Homeworld so her
propulsion system can be examined."

"I don't want the ship.  Just the crew."

"He wants both."

"He's not going to get both."  U'Pde terminated the transmission

"They are heading for Voyager," E'Di announced.

"Stop them.  And do something about those invisible attackers from the
cloud.  They're distracting out fighters."

"We're trying."

---

"Tom, here comes the T'Ar and that other big ship," Tim warned.

"I'm almost in place."

"Make it quick.  Voyager's shields won't last much longer and the
Gherop have destroyed two more New Kildarean shuttles.  That's eleven
gone so- That's odd.  Either this is a strange new tactic for them or
the Gherop are up to something.  The T'Ar's firing on the newcomer.
At least that's what it looks like.  But it's leaving us an opening."

"Then we'll take it.  Ready in three.  Three.  Two.  One.  Engage."

---

"Target Voyager's Bridge and fire," U'Pde ordered.

"Targeting," A'Nce answered.  "We have a-"

"Where'd they go?!"

Where Voyager had been only seconds earlier, there was nothing.  C'Cri
and the Gherop fighters were so stunned by this, they actually stopped
firing for a long moment.  This was a mistake for no sooner had they
done this than three of their fighters were blown up and the invisible
New Kildareans took after the others.

None saw their now cloaked quarry slip out through the hole in their
blockade and go to warp.  It was not until one of their fighters flew
out of control directly through the space where Voyager was supposed
to be, did they realize she was gone.

On his bridge, U'Pde slammed his fist down onto his chair arm so hard
he shattered his late brother's image.

---

"E'Cta?"

"Search for her warp trail," she ordered R'Eti.

"We can't.  Our sensors are intermittent at best.  The last hit
scrambled them pretty good.  Engineering's on it."

"Tell them to work fast.  The T'Ar is occupied with the P'Ro and the
fighters are busy trying to stop whatever came out of the cloud.  This
is our chance to swoop in and capture Voyager when they're not
looking.  If we fail, we won't be able to go home.  Remind everyone of
that."

---

R'Eti had little chance to remind anyone of anything.

Less than three minutes later, Maire looked across her desk to the one
who had been giving her orders.  "Voyager's just passing the safe
distance."

"Then it's time."

---

"Harry?"

"I don't understand it, Captain," he gasped, but they just went passed
us like we weren't even there."

"Tuvok?"

"The shields are holding, but only barely.  As for the Gherop suddenly
ignoring us, I have no explanation."

"Harry, try getting a hold of Sunfire."

"They're coming on now.  Audio only."

"What is it, Voyager?"

"Tom," she asked him, "what happened?  Why'd they ignore us?"

"We re-enforced your shields with ours and extended our cloak around
you.  Neither will hold for long, but it was long enough."

"Sunbird, we're passing the co-ordinates they gave us."

"Coming out of warp.  Whatever their plan is, now's the time it's
going to happen."

And happen it did.  While the Gherop continued to squabble and fight
ghosts, the cloud suddenly begin to glow as if lit from inside.  In a
matter of seconds it went from a mild brightness to a blinding one.

For only a split second everyone aboard Voyager, Sunfire, and Moonfire
could see the Gherop ships perfectly silhouetted against the light
before it absorbed them.  Then the shockwave hit the three ships
farther out and knocked everyone unconscious.

---

"Sunbird?  Sunbird, wake up!  Moonfire, Sunbird won't wake up.
Moonfire?"

Sunbird used her sensors to check on her fellow ship.  She was in one
piece only she glowed with a strange aura that was fading.

"Sunfire?" Moonfire called once the glow had subsided.  "What
happened?"

"The U Llat Dust Cloud is gone.  The only thing I can think of is a
stray shot detonated it."

"Are you damaged?"

"No, I'm fine.  Those poor people."

"At least it was quick."

"A small mercy.  Good thing we and Voyager were this far away or we'd
have gone too."

"Amazing coincidence."

"You don't honestly think they blew themselves up, do you?  To take
care of the Gherop?"

"No, way.  They aren't that crazy."

"How else would you explain us being just far enough away for so
nothing happened to us?"

"Actually that's not quite true.  Something did happen.  You were
glowing."

"Glowing?"

"Yes."

"I do feel sort of strange."

"Strange how?"

"I don't know.  Just different.  Residue from the explosion?"

"Perhaps."

"You weren't glowing though."

"I can't explain it."

"Moonbird's not waking up.  His vitals are good though."

"Same with Sunbird."

"Do we send them to the EMH?"

"Not unless they don't wake up soon.  It would be too hard to explain
two of them."

"We're going to have to explain two of us in a moment.  My shields are
going down.  And my cloak.  They were overtaxed and it was their first
time out.  Voyager's going to see us soon."

"They'll think your me but won't understand why or how my hull's
colour's changed to match theirs."

"What do we do?"

"When Moonbird and Sunbird wake up, they'll fix you.  For now, I'll
use my cloak and to hide you and shields to protect both of us.  Move
closer."

---

Tom and Tim opened their eyes to see they were in the meadow they had
seen when Tom Paris had made the ill-fated trip to meet his spirit
guide.  The currently bedraggled looking golden eagle who was their
spirit guide was there, perched on a large rock.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Tom asked the bird.  "And how?"

*I did not bring you here,* their spirit guide informed them.  *She
did."

The two men turned around to see M'Nea Madeleine sitting on another
rock, looking like a small Buddha they had seen once while on a third
grade field trip to the Chi'in History Museum in Beijing.  The serene,
all-knowing look on the gold statue's face had given the young boy
both prickles of unease and pangs of envy.  He had wished he had known
whatever it was that this statue knew to make it smile like that while
at the same time he was afraid to know.  Tom and Tim felt this now.

"I am not what you think I am," M'Nea Madeleine said matter-of-factly.

Her "fathers" reeled at hearing their daughter speak and in such a
mature voice.

"Nor were those with whom you have been interacting for the passed two
weeks."

"What are you talking about?" Tim demanded.

Tom looked around them, clearly expecting to see more than he did.
"This is some sort of trick.  Camet or one of the others is-"

"This is no trick Tom Paris," she denied.

"It has to be.  This place.  You talking to us.  This isn't real."

"It is very real.  I took on the form of this child so that I could
interact with you on your plane of existence more easily.  My people
cannot survive for long on your plane in our natural forms.  A couple
of days at most."

Tim put his hand in Tom's and held tight, hoping the contact would
calm him.  The newer of the two Tom Parises shared the elder's fear,
but Tom seemed close to panic and he could not understand why.  He
already knew there was something or things Tom had not told him about,
things that had occurred after Tim began to grow and their memories
ceased to be the identical.  Whatever it was, Tim had the feeling it
was horrific and that was putting him on edge.  His greatest fear was
that edge was becoming slippery.  He was uncertain if he could catch
his "father" if he started to fall.

"You say your people," Tim continued in a neutral voice.  "You're not
talking Rachar obviously."

"No," M'Nea Madeleine said, shaking her head.  "You can't pronounce
our species' name.  Your vocal cords couldn't master our language.
The New Kildareans called me "The Aoidh."  The Visitor.  You may think
of me and my people as that too."

"If you can't survive on our plane, how'd you meet the New
Kildareans?"

"Almost twenty-five of your years ago, we were on a mission of mercy.
Our people were sick and dying.  Those of us who still were healthy
were sent out to bringing back our equivalent of what you would call
medical supplies.  Our home was deep within the centre of the
Universe.  The cure, unfortunately was not.  In order to get it, we
had to leave home and travel through your galaxy and on a plane
extremely close to your own then back again to get home.  We made it
through the first time fine, but on the trip back home, we encountered
the results of an experiment your people had been conducting.  To your
people, the fallout from it was unremarkable.  Yet for us, it was very
nearly deadly.  It caused our... ship I guess would be the best word
to use for our transportation.  It's not quite accurate, but it is
close enough for you to understand what we mean.  It caused our ship
to malfunction and we crashed in New Kildare's atmosphere.  It was
that crash that caused the controls that regulated New Kildare's
weather to go offline.  Unfortunately, in trying to fix them, they
unknowingly damaged our ship further."

She was silent as she remembered that day.  "We were able to protect
our ship from being destroyed for only one more of their days, then it
could no longer be maintained.  It was then that we had to reveal
ourselves to the New Kildareans."

"But not as yourselves."

A nod was made to Tom, whose fear was subsiding nicely under contact
with Tim.  "No.  I was able to project myself same as my people did
for you and Voyager's crew.  I made myself look human, only I did not
have the time to prepare myself as we did for you.  When we crashed on
New Kildare, we had no advance warning.  We crashed and to save my
people, I had to scramble to recreate myself in a form that would put
the New Kildareans at ease."  She smiled now.  "I met your seanair and
seanmhair first.  It was in the foothills near their property that we
crashed.  They met me and stayed with me throughout the rest of what
happened."

The smile vanished.  "Once they and the others found out about what
had happened to my people, they tried valiantly to save us and send us
on our way again.  And eventually they did succeed because they
remembered something *you* had said about the weather control
satellites when they went off line.  What you said gave them the clue
they needed to figure out how to save us.  Only once they had the
plan, they couldn't wait to test their theory for possible dangers.
Our life forces rapidly were being extinguished.  If they were going
to save us, they had to do it and do it without delay.  So they never
knew the risk they were exposing themselves to until it was too late.
When they put their plan into action, it caused a chain reaction that
not only regenerated our ship and my people, but it also transformed
their world to our state of existence.  It all happened so fast.
Before we knew what was happening really.  The instant we were
restored to our natural states and saw what had happened to System
091, we were able to contain the transformation so it did not spread
to the rest of your galaxy then the Universe itself."

A tear ran down her cheek.  "The New Kildareans did not survive.
Their life forces weren't compatible with our state of being.  Their
memories and knowledge, that survived, but they did not.  There was
nothing we could do but go on home to cure those of our people who had
survived during our absence.  The cure saved what remained of our
people, while destroying our home, forcing us to leave it."

She gave a little choking sob.  "I had a grandson whom I loved him
very much.  But by the time we had returned with the cure, we had lost
him. Your seanair and seanmhair had spoken of you in such glowing and
loving terms.  It had made me miss my own grandson so much.  As much
as I love my people, I will admit, my entire focus was not on getting
home with the cure for them, but more for him.  Only he was dead
before we ever arrived.  I didn't get to say goodbye to him, so I knew
how your grandparents would have felt had they had time to know they
were dying and couldn't say farewell to you.  So when my people had to
leave our home, we made it our mission to find you.  To thank you for
your role in their saving us and to say goodbye to you for them."

A sad smile crossed her features.  "You led us on a merry chase, Tom
Paris.  Since our nature, our reality is different than yours, we
weren't sure which universe's Tom Paris we were looking for.  So we
had to keep trying to narrow it down until we found the right one.
There were so many disappointments for us.  So many mistaken
identifications.  But we finally found the right one and now we can
rest."

"Rest?" Tim asked.

"Yes.  Our home is gone and we are tired.  We could have followed our
departed loved ones when we knew they were gone.  Our people know that
waiting for us when our time here is done, there is another existence
beyond this one.  But if we'd gone to it immediately, we would never
have been able to return to find you and we couldn't go before we'd
said our thank you and their goodbye.  So we searched for you and
finally, after many mistakes, we found you."

"Why didn't you just come to us and say what you wanted to say?" Tom
demanded.  "Why go to all the trouble of recreating New Kildare,
everything?"

"We could have, only I was curious about you.  The more I saw of you
as I was trying to verify I had the right Tom Paris, the more
intrigued I became.  Everything I saw was so contradictory.  First,
here, then later, when the Diogenes came."

"You were here when the Diogenes was?"

"Yes.  I was the one who advised Sunfire on freeing you and Tuvok when
they had you two prisoner.  And I was with you whenever you were in
Sickbay on Voyager.  I even touched you a couple of times and you felt
it.  In Voyager's Mess Hall after your friends' funeral and you were
all alone for instance."

Both Tom and Tim remembered that day, remembered B'Elanna confronting
him about his past then running away in horror when her worst fears
had been confirmed.  Minutes after the Mess Hall doors had closed he
had felt something and thought it was her.  When he had opened his
eyes, he had found it to be only a phantom caress.  She was not there.

"So-" Tim cleared his throat.  "So if you were with us for so long and
had the power to create New Kildare, why didn't you save the Rachar?
Or was any of this real?  Have we just been asleep and imagining all
this?"

"Right now you are asleep in a way, yes, yet everything has been real.
As for the Rachar, we could not interfere.  I kept the woman alive
long enough for Tom Paris to get there and find M'Nea Madeleine."

"But why couldn't you interfere?  You certainly have been with Voyager
and us."

"And with the Rachar, too," Tom argued.  "When I found you on New
Rachar, it was with a woman who said you were her daughter."

"Her child died," she explained.  "All I did was take her form and
place.  The woman was blind and dying.  Having her child with her,
thinking it was alive and going to live a safe life with you.  It gave
her comfort."

"If you could do all that, why didn't you save the Rachar?  Why did
you let them die?"

"It wasn't why we were here.  We were here to say a goodbye to you for
the New Kildareans and a thank you from ourselves.  That's all.
Nothing more.  Much like you and your Prime Directive, we have our own
laws to prohibit certain things.  They forbade us to interfere."

"But you already were interfering with the course of events on this
plane.  The alterations to Voyager.  Creating Tim.  Building Moonfire.
Though it does clear up the mystery of how you were able to make her
so quickly.  We thought it was some amazing shipbuilding technique we
didn't know about and would amaze Utopia Planetia with.  Takes them
months or even years to build some ships.  You did it in a week."

Tim's eyes widened.  "Moonfire.  You created her.  Is she going to
just disappear when you leave?"

"No," the "child" denied.  "She and what we have done to Voyager will
remain.  It is hard to explain.  Sufficed to say, when we leave to go
to our next existence, there would have been a large amount of...
energy left behind.  When we destroyed the Gherop attacking you, it
took up some of that energy.  Almost all of the rest, we gave to
Moonfire, to make it possible for her to continue to exist."

Tom laid a hand on Tim's shoulder.  It was a huge relief to them to
know when they left this place, when they woke up, that it would not
be to find Tim floating in space.

"We considered building her and helping with Tim to be part of our
show of gratitude."

"So why are we here?" Tom asked, looking around.  "Why this place?
You could have just told us on New Kildare."

"To free you from your attackers, we had to revert to our natural
state.  It takes a large amount of effort for us be able to see you
face to face as you say.  Creating System 091 and New Kildare inside
of the Y Llat Dust Cloud took a long time and much effort for us to
create and maintain.  If we were to save you and Moonfire was to
continue to exist, we couldn't waste our energies by rejoining you on
your plane and in those forms once the Gherop were gone.  This place,
however, is close enough to our state of being for me to appear here
before you with only a modicum of effort.  So we brought you back
here."

"How'd you know we'd ever been here?"

"This is where I first found you.  I was with you in the forest when
you were being attacked."

"I never saw you."

"I kept myself hidden.  I didn't know if you were the right Tom Paris
and I couldn't risk contacting you if you weren't.  It would have
wasted time and I was afraid of what the ones who were attacking you
at the time would do to me if they saw me or saw me coming to your
aid. So I watched what happened then monitored you after you left here
to ensure you were the right man before I made contact."

"I still don't get it," Tim interrupted.  "Why go to all this trouble?
Why not just say what you had to say?  It's just so much work."

"And we felt it was worthwhile.  We recreated New Kildare because you
never came back here after that one time and we wanted to interact
with you, to say our thanks and the New Kildareans' goodbyes in
person.  But that doesn't matter now.  We won't need our strength for
much longer. We've seen you and done our best to thank you.  Granted,
it was not quite how we had intended to do it.  When Voyager was ready
to leave, we would have disappeared into a fold in space and that
would have explained how System 091 had vanished.  We knew by then you
would be safe and reunited with them we'd planned "

"You said reunited with them?"

"Yes.  They love you very much as you love them.  They know they were
wrong to shun you and they want you back with them. Talk to them.
Listen to what they have to say at least.  I know they will surprise
you by what they have to say.  Especially B'Elanna.  You must talk to
her."

Tom groaned.  "Why does everyone keep saying that?  If you know
something, just tell us.  Stop eluding to it and just say it."

"It is not anyone's place to do that but hers.  You need to talk your
conflict out between yourselves, face to face, not have someone else
tell you what they've been told."

She unfolded herself from her position and walked over to each of the
seated men in turn to hug them.  Over her head, Tom and Tim met each
other's eyes as she thanked them profusely and went on and on about
their sterling qualities.  Neither man corrected her about her
mistaken admiration of them or about a much larger misconception of
hers.  They merely let her say what she felt she had to before her
people could go to their rest.

---

The lizard was basking in the sun on the bark of a fallen tree when
Kathryn saw it.

"Hello," she smiled at it.  "What am I doing here?"

*You're here to see them,* her spirit guide informed her and gestured
with a flick of its tail to the Captain's right.

Her grey eyes sought whomever the lizard was referring to and found
Nana and Oran.

"Captain, we need to talk."

After they had explained, she blinked at them and sat next to the
lizard on the tree.  "You did all this for Tom?  You did all this,
created that world, that system, the story about how it got here,
everything, just so you could thank him?"

"The New Kildareans made what you call the 'supreme sacrifice',
Captain," Nana reminded her, "and for people they didn't even know,
all because of what Tom Paris said that day.  They saved our lives and
lost their own in the process."  She gave her a hard look.  "Do you
not think he is worth the effort?"

"No, no.  It's just...."

"He is a good man and a misunderstood one.  You and your crew do not
appear to appreciate that.  You seem to see him only for what he's
done.  We saw him for what he is.  Yes, he did bad things.  No, he
cannot change them.  Yet that was the past, Captain.  It is up to you
to set an example for the others.  It is up to you to show them he is
not a danger to your people nor should he continue to be treated as he
has been."

"But we've been trying to talk to him.  You know that."

"That is a mere handful of your people.  If he were to return to you,
he would not have an easy time of it.  You need to sway those others
who are afraid of him into understanding and believing he is not the
monster they think he is."

Oran backed up his wife's assertions.  "The only reason we helped you
with your alterations and everything else is because of him.  Because
we know what most of your crew has forgotten -- that he is a good man.
Never forget that."

---

Stunned by all they had heard, B'Elanna and Harry sat speechless
across from Maire in the grass.  The peregrine falcon and racoon who
were B'Elanna and Harry's spirit guides sat to either side of the
Chief Engineer and Ops Officer.

"Does Tom know," B'Elanna whispered.

"Yes, he too is being told," Maire confirmed.  "Since we did all of
this for him, it wouldn't make sense to leave him without
explanation."

Harry squeezing B'Elanna's hand for support both for her and himself,
he glanced to their companion.  "So why are you telling us this?  It
was Tom you wanted to thank, not us.  Why go to the trouble to see us
again?"

"Because we wanted to ensure you do everything possible to reunite
with Tom.  He needs you, all of you, but especially you two and a
couple of others very much.  Don't let him leave you again.  If he
does, we will not be able to help you."

"We'll phaser weld his feet to the floor if we have to."

"That might be necessary.  He will resist seeing you I think.  We have
done our best to convince him to at least hear what you have to say.
Whether he will or not...."  She shrugged.  "There are still some on
Voyager who won't want him there."

"We'll change their minds."

"*You* can't change anyone's minds.  *They* have to change them or the
change will not be accepted or stick."

They nodded solemnly.

"And don't give up on Thomas.  He needs you."  She smiled.  "And if he
tries to deny that or his feelings for you, ask him about the tattoo."

Their minds went to the only tattoo they were familiar with.

"What about Chakotay's tattoo?" B'Elanna frowned.

"Not the Commander's," she corrected.

Her audience noticed her tapping her left bicep but failed to realize
the significance of that action at the time.

---

Other than Tom, B'Elanna, and Janeway, Chakotay was the only one who
was not alarmed to find himself there.  The wolf was there too,
standing at his side as always, but this time they were not alone.
Stephane and Declan stood before them.

"How did you get here?" Chakotay queried, frowning.

"That is what we are here to tell you, Commander," Stephane assured.
"That and other things."  He explained about the New Kildareans'
sacrifice, Tom Paris' role in that, and their own people's plight and
mission.

As with all the others, Chakotay was disbelieving at first.

"The ECH we created is fully functional, Commander.  All she needs is
a name.  And while you're deciding upon a name for her, we suggest you
avail yourself of her services.  We, Nana O'Connell, and others have
attempted to convince you that you have issues with Tom Paris, ones
that need to be resolved."

Chakotay railed at this.  "Spare me the psychobabble.  I have no
issues with him.  I know what he is and what he's done, period.  There
is no need for me to consult her."

"As you wish, Commander, but you are wrong.  Hopefully, one day you
will recognize that."

---

"Where are we, Mommy?" Naomi questioned her mother, moving closer to
her.  One minute they had been in their quarters, trying to keep their
minds off of the battle raging in space around them.  The next, they
and Neelix were here in this sunlit meadow.

Eyes on the lioness only she could see, Sam tried to push her daughter
behind her.  "I don't know, honey, but get behind Mommy, please."

"Why?"

"Just do as your mother asks, please," Neelix begged, his own eyes on
the large bear he could see.

His firm tone made Naomi stop wondering where they were and what the
adults were staring at so intently when she saw nothing in either
direction and do as asked.  As she did a meerkat popped out of a
burrow nearby and looked long and hard at her.

"It's alright," Kaatje's voice assured them from a point to their
right.

They glanced at the woman and her husband who were stepping up to
their sides.

"They won't hurt you," Kieran promised, laying a hand on Sam's
shoulder.  "Quite the contrary, they are your spirit guides.  They
guide and advise you.  To harm you would be to harm themselves."

As if to prove his point the meerkat laid a black "gloved" paw on
Naomi's hand and the lioness and bear came to take a better looks at
Sam and Neelix respectively.

"Come," Kaatje invited.  "There is much to discuss and not much time
to discuss it in."

The three people and their guides followed Kieran and Kaatje off to a
clear space not far away.

---

Without realizing what they were doing, Megan and Geron automatically
stepped closer together when they found themselves in the strange
place with a large Irish setter staring at her and a small sparrow
staring at him.  They gained only a little comfort from the abrupt
appearance of the women and men who had shanghaied each of them at the
ceildh the night before Tom had returned to New Kildare.  What the
group said to them, the explanations they made and the urgings to them
to settle the differences between them, made them sad on Tom's behalf
and regard each other warily.  And a bit longingly, they might have
admitted later.

---

The EMH was confused.  According to the internal sensors, he was the
only one aboard who was not unconscious.   At first, he had thought
Vorik was having some sort of strange reaction to the treatment being
administered.  He had been beamed into Sickbay with bad plasma burns
and the Doctor had been in the process of healing him when the Vulcan
had lost consciousness.  Then he had scanned the patient and
discovered familiar readings.  A consult of the medical database had
identified them as the readings Commander Chakotay exhibited anytime
he used his akoonah.

This confused him yet it was eclipsed when he had attempted to contact
the Bridge and inform them of this puzzle.  There had been no answer.
He had tried again and again, the memory running through his mind of
the Gherop C'Nar tricking B'Elanna into showing him how to the
transporters worked and transporting everyone to the surface of
Rachar.

Only there were no Gherop aboard.  Everyone was where they were
supposed to be yet all were in the same state as Vorik.  He was
reluctant to rouse them until he knew what had caused this.  It was
possible he might do them irreparable damage if he tried.

Then the readings changed and Vorik opened his eyes.

"Ensign, are you all right?"

The Vulcan turned is head towards him, stared at him for a moment
before rolling over onto his side to face away from him.

"Ensign?"

As the hologram moved around the biobed to face his patient once more,
Vorik haltingly told him what he had heard.

---

The Bridge crew slowly returned to consciousness and picked themselves
up off of the deck.  Every one of them, except Tuvok, wore the same
stunned expression.

"Any sign of Sunfire?" Janeway asked no one in particular.

"She's right beside us, Captain," the Vulcan answered, shifting the
perspective of the main viewer to show them the ship in question.
"Using her cloak to conceal us appears to have damaged her. She not
only is visible, but her shields are down."

"How are our shields?"

"Offline."

"Let's hope there aren't anymore Gherop around."  She stared at
Sunfire.  "Tom has to be devastated," she whispered to herself.

---

Both Paris' remained lying on deck of their respective Bridges,
unmoving.  They had refrained from saying something to M'Nea Madeleine
because they would only have given her people more pain and kept them
from their rest, but now, knowing she and her people were off to their
"rest," they said them.

"They had the wrong Tom Paris," they whispered.

Nana and Oran's faulty memories of the day he had left now made sense
to them.  They were not faulty after all.  They were just remembering
a different universe's Tom Paris.  A Tom Paris whose departure from
New Kildare clearly had been a day later than his own.  A Tom Paris
who had deserved their thanks and goodbyes but would not receive them
now because these Tom Parises had decided for them it was better to
let these people think they had succeeded in their mission and go to
rejoin their people.

---

Repairs to Voyager's shields and the few minor systems that had
sustained damage took the rest of the day and most of the night.
With no success, Harry tried repeatedly to contact Sunfire.  Either
she was ignoring them or her communications were offline, he was
unsure which. When he met B'Elanna for breakfast the next morning he
told her as much and her face immediately fell.

"He doesn't want to see us."

"Sunfire's still here though."

"And visible meaning he's probably still repairing her.  Once she's
fixed, she'll engage her cloak and disappear with Tom."

"Then we have to find some way to get him to talk to us."

"I'll do you one better."  She shoved a padd across the table.  For
the next few minutes, while Harry read her plans for trying to breach
Sunfire's already low shields long enough for her to beam aboard, she
ate a little of the mildly interesting breakfast and looked around
them.

The usual chatter that was the usual accompaniment to breakfast was
missing.  Sporadically, someone would say something to someone else in
hushed tones, though for the most part, everyone was silently focused
on their meal.  It had been like this since everyone had awoken.
Whether it was the shock of having seen or heard about New Kildare
destroying itself and the Gherop or from what the "New Kildareans" had
said about themselves and their existences, she did not know.  She
herself had been stunned and was not sure which reason was the greater
cause of it.

"He's staring at us," she whispered.

Harry glanced from the padd to his companion to the Vulcan across the
Mess Hall at which she was staring.  "B'Elanna, he's just looking
around and eating."

"No, he's staring at us."

He returned to the padd.  "You're getting paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid," she insisted, rising and making a beeline for
Tuvok's table.  "Okay, you've been staring at me for ten minutes.
What is it?"

Tuvok gave her a frank stare.  "Did you and Mr. Kim tell us the truth
about your relationship?"

"What?"

"Were you telling the truth about not having a sexual relationship?"

"Yes."

He stood, picking up his breakfast tray as he did.  "I see.  Excuse
me."

"Wait a minute."

"Carey to Torres," Joe called over her combadge and she had to go to
Engineering instead of chasing Tuvok.

---

Tom Paris walked the familiar corridors of Voyager with apprehension.
The few personnel he encountered, stopped dead in their tracks and
stared.  None spoke to him.  None stopped him to welcome him back into
their midst.  All just stared.

Until he ran into Tuvok.

"Mr. Paris, I was about to contact you.  May I express my condolences
regarding the New Kildareans?  It was most unfortunate they were not
who we thought they were."

The human blinked.  A show of sentiment from a Vulcan?  That was rare.
"Yes, it was."

"And may I infer from your presence here that you have decided to
follow everyone's advice and discuss matters with those in your life?"

"I'm here to see Naomi and borrow two 42-J coils from the surplus
Voyager has in storage."

"To repair Sunfire?"

"Yes."

"May I suggest you not depart so quickly?  There are a few
misconceptions which certain members of the crew wish to correct and
your presence is necessary for that to occur."

"I am really tired of everyone talking in riddles!  If you think you
know something I don't, just say it.  Stop making me oblique
references to it.  I have enough on my mind without having to puzzle
out what all of you are blathering about."

"It is not-"

"Not you place to say.  Yeah.  Yeah.  I've heard that one before."

"I will say this: Lieutenant Torres is the one to tell you what we are
all 'blathering about.'  If you go to see here, then she will tell
you.  Is desperate to tell you actually."

Saying nothing more, he walked away and Tom continued on to his own
destination.  The war inside Tom raged on.  See B'Elanna and have his
heart torn out all over again.  Don't see her and go crazy not seeing
her.  It was a hard choice for him, one he tried not to think any more
about from the moment he pressed the announcer outside of the
Wildman's quarters onwards.

---

When Sam answered her door, it was a replay of the last time she had
seen Tom Paris, only this time he did not have a bag over his shoulder
and she was not worried over his presence.  This time she felt
relieved by it.  Relieved and very guilty.  She stepped aside and
motioned him in.

If he was surprised at her hospitable greeting, he did not show it.

"Naomi?" she called towards her daughter's open doorway.  "Someone's
here to see you."

"I don't want to see them," the child responded in a muffled voice.

Saying nothing, Tom crossed the sitting room and entered the little
girl's bedroom.  Naomi was sprawled on her bed, face buried in a
pillow and the fuzzy purple blob of fake fur that was the stuffed toy
geela he had given her clutched in her arms.  Gently, he sat down on
the edge of the small bed.

"Go away!" she cried.

"But I just got here, Cucumber," he objected in a soft and calm voice.

She froze then slowly lifted her face to see him.  For an instant, it
was like she had seen a ghost then she catapulted herself into his
arms.  "Tommy!  I didn't think you were coming back.  I didn't think
I'd see you again."

"Well, I did and you are."

From the doorway, Sam watched her child and the man hold each other
and talk softly together and she found herself wondering what she
could have been thinking when she had thought Tom Paris was a
potential danger to her daughter.  When Naomi was tucked into bed less
than an hour later, Sam drew their guest out of the bedroom and
awkwardly told him of her revelation.

"I understand your reasoning, Ensign, however it is a pity you did not
see how groundless your suspicions were at the time.  It would have
saved the three of us a lot of pain."

"I know and I'm sorry about that, but she is my daughter.  I have to
protect her."

"I know that.  As I say, I understand why you did what you did, but I
can't give you the absolution you're apparently seeking."

"I know.  I hurt you badly and I'm sorry."

He nodded once and started to walk out.

"Wait!"

He stopped in the doorway, not looking back.  "Have you seen anyone
else?  Lieutenant Torres, Ensign Kim or Lieutenant Delaney?"

Megan's inclusion in the list of people he was being urged to see was
new and he shook his head.

"You should.  They very much want to see you."

The doors closed behind him and Sam slumped into the nearest chair.
She had done her bit for making amends and smoothing out the course of
true love.  Now it was up to the rest of them.

---

B'Elanna was ready to hit someone.  She had arrived in Engineering
only to have Joe inform her, the problem he had called her about had
been fixed, by accident, he admitted, and she no longer was needed
there. Glaring at her second-in-command, she turned on her heel and
stomped out, almost colliding with Tuvok a few metres down the
corridor.

"Just the person I wanted to see," she spit out, menacingly.  "What
did you mean, asking me about Harry and I like that?"

"I have my reasons, Lieutenant," he answered smoothly.  "Reasons which
hopefully shall become clear soon.  In the interim, I would like to
know if we have any extra 42-J coils aboard?"

"42-Js?  Yes, I think so.  Three, if I'm not mistaken.  I'd have to
check with Crewman Banj.   He's the one who'd know for sure.  Why?"

"How large are they?"

"They're just small.  Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand."

He glanced about them, saw no one, then shifted closer.  "I suggest
you take them to your quarters?"

"My quarters?"

"Consider it an order, Lieutenant.  And remain in your quarters until
further notice."

"What?  Why?"

"Do not ask questions, Lieutenant, just do as ordered.  And make sure
Crewman Banj knows where you're going with them.  Don't say I told you
to do it, just that that is what you are doing."

"But why?"

"Tell him or anyone else that asks, you have an idea for improving
their performance and wish to study them at your leisure.
Understood?"

"Okay, but-"

"Good.  Excuse me.  I have to see the Captain.  Immediately."

An expression Harry and Tom each had used a couple of times in the
past came to her -- Alice down the rabbit hole.  Going off to do as
ordered, she unconsciously watched for white rabbits in vests
consulting their pocket watches.

---

"What are you doing here?"

Ver Faran stepped towards the biobed the EMH was helping LaKeysha
onto.  "This is my child too.  Even if you are determined to chase me
out of your life, you cannot chase me from his or hers."

"I wish I could.  He or she does not deserve a father who would take a
private conversation that he was not even a party to and blurt it out
all over the ship."

"I did not 'blurt it out all over the ship!'  I told Geron Tem.
That's it."

"And Naomi overheard."

"I certainly didn't know the kid was there, now did I?"  He skirted
the hologram who was trying to perform the pre-natal exam on one of
the combatants while dodging the wild gestures that she made to
punctuate her remarks.  "I still don't know where she was in there to
listen in, but that's irrelevant.  I told Tem and that was it."

"But you shouldn't have been listening, let alone told anyone else."

"I was in our bed, trying to get back to sleep after the door chime
had woken me up.  It's hardly my fault our quarters are so small that
the sitting area and bedroom practically are on top of one another.
If Engineering wasn't constantly having to put the ship back together
from Gherop attacks or the like, they'd have our new quarters finished
and we could move in there and have some room.  But until they do and
we do, we're stuck living on top of one another and whatever's said
within the confines of those bulkheads is going to be heard by anyone
in it."

"Well, that won't be you.  You're never darkening my door ever again."

"If I may make a suggestion?"

The lovers glared at him.  "What?"

"You are pregnant, Crewman Walesan.  All this arguing hardly is good
for the baby.  Therefore I suggest you two call a cease-fire.  At
least until after the baby is born.  Which should be any day now it
seems.  A good thing since now all we have to do to reach the Alpha
Quadrant is find an out of the way place and try it."

The pair glared at each other then nodded.

As usual, the EMH could not leave well enough alone.  "Besides,
whatever either of you did or did not do is unimportant now.
Everything is out in the open and just needs to be dealt with.  I am
sure once that happens, both of you will see this little spat as a
minor bit of turbulence in your relationship."

She attempted to dismount from the biobed.  "Minor?  He blabs
something private like this and it's minor? Argh!  Help me down.
Thank you. What's to stop him from discussing our intimate secrets?"

"According to you, there aren't going to be any more intimate or
anything else moments so what do you care?"

She shot him another death glare and waddled out.

"Perhaps a bit of advice?" the Doctor began only to be ignored as Ver
turned on his heel and stomped out via the other set of Sickbay doors.
"Or not."

---

"You want all three of them?"

"Yes, Banj."

He shrugged and went to the appropriate container in the storeroom and
removed it from its shelf.  "Here you go, Lieutenant.  Those are the
last ones we have."

B'Elanna accepted the small box with a nod.  "Thanks, Banj."  She
started for the door, stopped then half-turned to him.  "Oh, and if
anyone asks, I'm taking them to my quarters because I 'have an idea
for improving their performance and wish to study them at my leisure."

As the door closed behind her, he shook his head.  He had heard she
was taking Lieutenant Paris' leaving badly, but she was acting
downright strangely now.  Who would care where she had taken some 42-J
coils? They barely ever needed replacing them.  Everything else on the
ship, yes, but the 42-Js?  Hardly ever.  If only they could take
whatever it was about them that kept them together when everything
around them was falling to bits and apply that "whatever" to
everything else and they rarely would have to replace anything.
'Maybe the Lieutenant's had the same idea?' he wondered then went back
to his duties.

---

"I still think you should think about it, sis," Jenny told her sister
as the door to their quarters chimed.  "It wouldn't kill you.  Tom."

The owner of that name stepped through the doors and stopped just
inside of them.  "Jenny.  May I have a word alone with your sister,
please?"

Jenny shot a glance at her sister's back, Megan not having turned
around yet, though her rigid posture told them she knew Tom was there.
She then shot Tom a look that promised retribution if anything more
happened to her sister and walked out.

"Hello, Megan."

The red haired woman whirled around, glared at him for a moment then
stomped over and slapped him across the face.  Not prepared for this
sort of a greeting, Tom's head snapped to the side and he had to reach
out to catch a hold of a dining chair or fall over.

"That's for leaving me without even a goodbye, Tom Paris," she
informed him, angrily.  "And this is for coming back."

Before he could recover fully from her assault, she launched herself
at him, hugging him tightly.  He stumbled back a bit then braced
himself against the wall.

"I missed you so much," she whispered tearfully into the shoulder of
his sweater.  "It wasn't until after you were gone that I understood
why you said those horrible things to me.  You were just trying to
make me leave you alone so everyone wouldn't treat me like they were
treating you.  It didn't matter you know, how they treated me.  It was
how they were treating you that did.  They were being so unfair."

The doors opened and Geron rushed in.  He took in the sight of the two
people in an embrace and immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion.
His fists clenched at his sides, waiting to be aimed at something or
someone.

"Let her go, Paris.  She's mine," he declared, forgetting all about
what the "New Kildareans" had told him and Jenny's previous warnings
not to talk about her sister like she was his possession.  "You can't
have her."

Megan pulled away and glared at him.  "I'm yours?  I'm mine.  No one
else's, Geron Tem.  Don't mistake my having given you my heart for my
having given you control of my life.  I still decide for myself who I
see and don't see and if I want to cry all over my *friend* and hug
him or even give him a platonic kiss," she stressed, "or whatever I
damn well want I damn well will!"

Tom frowned.  "Did I miss something.  Namely a kiss?"

"He saw me kiss you on the forehead when you were unconscious in
Sickbay.  Before you left.  Geron Almighty Tem here saw it and that
was why he went off on you and told you about Kim and Torres kissing."

Geron glared at her, but spoke to Tom.  "She was always going on and
on about 'Tom this' and 'Tom that'.  It was the last straw."

"He's my friend.  Of course I'm going to talk about him.  I listen to
you talk about Ver Faran.  There's a piece of work there."

"He's a good friend."

"He hates Tom!  For no good reason."

"I'm sure there's a very good reason."

"Tom, why does Ver Faran hate you?"

Startled to be back in the conversation again, Tom blinked at her.  "I
don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"It never came up."

"We've been on this ship for five years and there never was a moment
for you to say, 'Excuse me, but what precisely do you have against
me?'"

"I may be a masochist, Megan, but I'm not that much of one.  I try not
to notice and get on with my job.  It's probably just the usual.
'Wasn't really one of us when he was in the Maquis.  A drunk and
always on the make with women.  Killed three of his friends and lied
about it you know.  That's why they kicked him out of Starfleet.'"

All her anger at him ebbing, she reached out to comfort him.  "Don't
talk like that, Tom."

"Why not?  It's true.  Ask Geron.  He was in the Maquis.  He knows
what was said and how I was back then.  Tell us that's not what Ver
says about me."

"It is," the Bajoran admitted quietly.  What Tom had said about
himself and the manner in which the older man had said it affected
Geron greatly he discovered.  And it was not in a way that was very
conducive to maintaining an active anger towards the man before him.

His calming seemed to calm the others in the quarters.

"Well, it's not fair," Megan argued, but with less bite to her voice.

Geron looked at his shoes.  "As unfair as me thinking he was out to
take you from me or you were going to leave me for him."

"Or that you could talk about me like I'm a possession!"

"Or that."  He looked up and straight at Tom.  "Or letting you think
there might be more between Torres and Kim than friendship and some
kiss when there really wasn't."

Tom froze and stared back at the contrite male opposite him.  "What
are you talking about?"

Megan and Geron exchanged looks.

"Oh my gods," Megan whispered.  "He doesn't know.  Computer, locate
Lieutenant Torres."

"Lieutenant Torres is in her quarters," the feminine voice supplied.

"Good."  Megan spun Tom around and shoved him towards the door.  "Go
see her and go see her now.  No, you might want to go to Sickbay
first."  She tapped her cheek.  "I hit you a good one."

He touched the redness he could feel but not see then left, still very
confused and off-balance.

As the doors closed behind the visitor, the lovers awkwardly turned to
each other.

"We have some things to talk about," she said.

He nodded and sat down.

---

"Yes, Tuvok?"

The Security Chief stepped further into the Ready Room.  "Mr. Paris is
aboard Voyager."

The Captain nearly dropped her lucky coffee cup.

"I was on my way from breakfast when I saw him.  He said he was on his
way to see Miss Wildman and wished to take two 42-J coils from us to
repair Sunfire.  I thought you might like to be informed."

"That was it?  He was going to talk to Naomi and get some coils and
go."

Had Tuvok been anyone else, he would have smiled smugly.  "I think he
will find that easier said than done, Captain."  He nodded and left
her alone once more.

'What the Hell's that mean?' she asked herself then tried to find an
excuse for keeping Tom aboard.  In a moment, she had it and rushed out
of her Ready Room and off of the Bridge.

---

"Mr. Paris?" the EMH blinked then recovered quickly.  "Newly back
amongst us and already in need of medical attention?  That is a
record, even for you."

Either ignoring the comment or not really hearing it in his self-
absorption, he walked passed the Doctor and to an instrument tray.

"That is a nasty mark on your face," the hologram tried again, coming
over to tilt Tom's face towards his.  "Please sit in the chair and
I'll tend to it for you."

The hologram's touch snapped the man out of his confusion.  "I am
quite capable of doing it myself, Doctor."

"Yes, I did teach you well, but it is my duty to treat anyone who
comes in here in need of medical assistance.  That's what Chief
Medical Officer aboard Voyager means."

"Only medical officer, you mean," he muttered as the EMH wrestled the
dermoregenerator from his grasp and he was firmly sat down in the
nearby chair.

He waved the instrument over the clearly defined handprint.  "Not now
that you're back.  I have a few experiments that I'd like you to-"

"I'm not back, Doctor," Tom informed him.

Setting the instrument aside now that he was finished with it, he
frowned at his patient.  "But you're here."

"I had a couple of people to talk to.  Then I'll be returning to
Sunfire."

"But Voyager... the crew....  You can't just go again.  You could get
hurt."

Tom stood and gave him a disdainful glance.  "I did not say I was
leaving Voyager's company.  Merely that I was going to be on Sunfire.
As for getting hurt, I don't even have to leave Voyager for that.
Don't even have to leave Sickbay for that matter."

The EMH frowned.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It seems to be a day for unburdening myself so I figure I should make
a clean sweep of it and get everyone."

"By your tone, I imagine you are including me in the 'everyone.'"

"Good guess, Doctor."

The way Tom kept calling him "Doctor" not "Doc" as he typically did
was jarring his nerves as it had when he had started it back before he
had left Voyager.  "So what precisely do you wish to 'unburden'
yourself to me about?"

"Oh, nothing much.  Just your lack of faith in me.  When the Captain
came in here, telling you she was removing me from the Helm and
Sickbay, you didn't fight it.  You made some comment about being
without an assistant again.  If you and Janeway had shown you weren't
afraid of me, the others eventually would have followed suit and seen
there was nothing to fear from me.  Only you didn't.  You caved right
in and kicked me out."

"We did not 'kick you out,' Mr. Paris.  It was a temporary measure to
be rescinded when things calmed down for everyone."

"Even a 'temporary measure' was too much.  It gave everyone the
message that you two did not trust me so they were justified in not
trusting me either.  There were so many ways you two could have
handled this, but you didn't."

"We did what we felt was best at the time."

"Well, it wasn't best, Doctor.  Not for me."

"Sometimes we have to do what is best for the greater number."

"At the expense of the fewer.  I know.  I made it through the Academy.
It was serving as a Starfleet officer that I couldn't manage."

"Mr. Paris-"

"No.  This was a bad idea.  I should have just gone back to Sunfire
after I'd seen Naomi and Megan."  He started for the door.

"I hope you're not thinking of going before you see Lieutenant Torres!
You have to see her to let her explain."

"I don't have to do anything, Doctor."

The doors closed behind him, ending the conversation.

---

"The 42-Js, Captain?"

She nodded to Crewman Banj.  This was the second time he had asked
this.  "Yes, Crewman.  The 42-J coils.  They're this big and you're
supposed to have three of them."

"I did, but Lieutenant Torres came in here not long ago and took them
to her quarters.  She said something about an idea she had for
improving their performance and wanting to study them at her leisure
and I was to tell anyone who asked that was what was happening."

Janeway's brow furrowed.  "Thank you, Crewman," she muttered,
wandering out.

Shaking his head, he went back to work.

---

"Yeah, I saw him talking to Tuvok in the corridor," an ensign told her
companions as they walked down the corridor.

Another nodded.  "I heard Jenny Delaney telling someone that when she
left her and her sister's quarters, he was there talking to her sister
and she'd seen Geron on his way there and warned him so he didn't go
crazy or something."

"Knowing Geron Tem and his jealous streak, he won't heed that
warning."

"That boy has quite the hot-head.  When we were in the Maquis
together...."

Harry did not listen to any more.  He abandoned the idea going to the
holodeck for some relaxation and hurried off to find B'Elanna.

---

When Banj heard the door to the storeroom open a third time, he did
not even bother to look up.  "I don't have any 42-J coils," he shouted
to whomever had entered.  "Lieutenant Torres came in here and took
them to her quarters.  She has some an idea for improving their
performance and wants to study them at her leisure."

"I see, Crewman.  Thank you."

The door closed again before he could get to his feet and dart around
the end of the stacks of storage containers so he could see the door
and the person leaving through it.  He had wanted to see that person
because he could not believe what his ears had just told him was the
voice he had heard.  He could have sworn it was the man formerly known
as Lieutenant Tom Paris but what would he have been doing there?

Deciding he was imagining things, he dismissed the idea.

---

Tom may have told the EMH he did not have to do anything, but finding
out who had the coils he needed only supported what his heart told him
he had to do and went to B'Elanna's quarters.  He knew it would only
lead to more heartbreak, yet he needed those coils and a heart that
refused to let him forget her and his own curiosity made him go
anyway.

Sleepy-eyed, she obviously had been getting ready for bed when he had
appeared at her door.  She was wrapped in his blue bathrobe, something
he had left behind in his former quarters when he had departed
Voyager, seemingly forever.  What she had under it, he could not tell,
the too- large-for-her garment concealing all but her upper neck and
head.  Her feet and hands were nowhere to be seen.

Upon recognizing him, she woke up immediately.  "Tom."

"May I come in?"

"Yes.  Yes, come in."

When she motioned him in, she did not touch him and for that he was
grateful.  The way he felt at the moment, he did not know what he
would do.

"You want something to drink?  Eat.  You look like you really need
something to eat.  You're getting too thin."  She headed for the
replicator.  "I have some replicator rations.  How about some pizza
the way you like it?  It'll only take-"

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh.  Well, then-"

"I came..." He chickened out of telling her the truth.  "You have the
only 42-J coils on the ship and I need two for Sunfire.  Can you do
whatever experiments you want to do on just one?"

She looked at him like she did not have a clue what he was talking
about.  Then a light dawned and she looked at the container on her
dining table.  "Umm, I'm not sure," she said slowly, not knowing what
Tuvok wanted her to say or why he had wanted this to happen in the
first place.  The idea that the Vulcan actually was matchmaking
escaped her as much as it had Janeway.  But Tom finally was in the
same room with her and she was not going to forfeit this opportunity.
"I'll have to see."  Stalling for time, she went to her desk for the
Engineering tricorder lying there.  "Do you want to take a seat while
I check them to see all three are identical?  Flaws could throw things
off."

"Fine."

She made a show of opening the container or trying to.  The sleeves to
his robe were far too long and continually had to be shoved up as she
moved.

"Here," he offered, removing the lid for her.  "You should roll up the
sleeves if you are going to wear that."

She held out an arm to him.  "You know I'm useless at that."

After a pause, he rolled up first one sleeve then the other.

"I hope you don't mind me taking it," she said softly.  "When you
left... When you left, I wanted something of yours."

His eyes darted to hers, searching for something in them.  When he did
not find it, he admitted the truth.  "I came here to find out what you
know and everyone else thinks I should ask you about," he confessed in
an equally quiet voice.  "And what Geron meant when he just apologized
letting me think there's more between you and Harry 'than friendship
and some kiss' he said.  I want to know why he would make that apology
when I know there *is* more going on that just that."

"More than...?"

He stepped away from her and started to say more as the door chimed
once then Harry walked in unannounced, his mouth open to say something
himself.  He stopped when he saw Tom.  "Tom," he said in the same
stunned voice B'Elanna had been used at seeing the blond man and shot
B'Elanna a glance.

The pilot's mood changed instantly.  "I knew this was a bad idea."  He
headed for the door only to have his way blocked by Harry.

"You're not leaving these quarters," the younger man stressed with
more authority in his voice than any of them had ever heard.  "We've
been through Hell the past two weeks and there's no way we're going
to let you get away now that we have you in the same room with us."

"Move out of my way."

"No."

B'Elanna chose that moment to re-enter the conversation.  "Tom wants
to know what everyone's been not telling him-"

Harry frowned.  "I don't understand."

"And why Geron apologized for making him think we're more than friends
when he says he knows we actually are."

"Huh?"  Harry blinked at his friend.  "What's she talking about?"

Tom abandoned the idea of leaving to avoid this confrontation and dove
into it head first instead.  "Look, you two can just drop the act.  I
don't know why you have Geron suddenly trying to convince me you two
are not involved when I know you are, but from what everyone says
there's something you have to tell me, B'Elanna, so I'd rather you
just do and I can go back home."

"This is your home," she insisted.

"Like Hell it is.  Now just tell me so I can go."

"Tom, we're not having an affair," Tom's former best friend contended.
"Yes, we did kiss each other once, months ago and we shouldn't have.
But we've never slept together."

Tom shook his head.  "I never thought I'd see the day that Harry Kim
would try such a bald faced lie and to me of all people.  Clearly I
was a worse influence on you than I thought I was."

"I'm not lying!  B'Elanna, you talk to him.  You usually can get
through to him."

"Look, I saw you two, all right?  After Geron made his accusations and
Jenny backed him up, I went to see you, Harry, and I saw you two."

The younger man frowned.  "Saw me when?  Where?  From what we've been
able to figure out, Geron talked to you right after you left Sickbay.
I never saw you that day.  In fact, I never saw you from the time we
left New Rachar until now.  Which is damned infuriating, Tom Paris.
You went to Engineering to see B'Elanna, even if she was too sleepy to
realize you were there, and you saw Naomi and the Captain, and tried
to see Megan, but you never came to see me!  You're my best friend and
you left without so much as a goodbye to me.  You left her a note at
least.  Me, nothing."

"I saw you the day I left." Tom emphasized.  "I saw you and her in
your quarters.  You in your nightclothes and her just getting
dressed."

B'Elanna groaned and sat down, her head held her hands.  "The gel
pack."

Harry's frown grew.  "What gel pack?"

"The one that exploded all over Nicoletti and I in the Jefferies tubes
when we were fixing the ship that day.  Then I found out about Tom
being back and ran to Sickbay, but he was asleep and the Doctor told
me to go get cleaned up.  I met you in one of the corridors and you
needed to talk so we went to your quarters, remember?  We talked then
I asked to use your shower to get rid of the gel and you refreshed my
clothes while I was in there.  When I came out, you'd got ready for
bed to catch up on your sleep and my uniform was lying on the bed."
She closed her eyes.  "Just as I was finishing dressing, you answered
the door, but you were too sleepy to know who was there."

"It was you?" he whispered to Tom.

"Oh come on, you two," Tom complained.  "I saw the looks on your
faces."

"I don't know whatever you think you saw, Tom, it was exhaustion.
There had been very little sleep for any of us.  We'd been through
Hell at the hands of the Gherop and once we were free of them, we
thought you were dead and when we thought you weren't, we were worried
sick about you.  The only time I'd had any sleep is when I'd been in
Sickbay, unconscious, because of this shared pain thing and you kept
getting hurt."

"What are you talking about?"

Briefly, she outlined the Doctor's theory and investigations into the
phenomena.  He frowned at her for a long time then shook his head.

"None of that matters.  What does is I saw you two."

"You saw us what?" Harry demanded.  "Having sex?  No.  You saw two
very tired people in two different states of dress.  Granted there are
two ways to interpret that situation, but the correct one is what we
have told you.  She came to my quarters so we could talk.  When we'd
finished, she realized she still was covered in the gel and it had
dried and was flaking off over both of us.  She went to shower, I
refreshed both of our uniforms to get rid of the gel and dressed for
bed, where I intended on heading the moment she had left.  I vaguely
remember answering the door, but as for who was there... It could have
been a Hirogen for all I noticed.  I was ready to drop from
exhaustion.  I don't remember you being there.  I wish I had been more
awake, I really do.  There were so many things I'd planned to tell you
when you woke up in Sickbay, but from what the Doctor had told
B'Elanna, he didn't expect that to be any time soon, so I went to bed
instead.  There was no sex, nothing.  We don't feel that way about one
another."

Tom felt himself losing ground fast and struggled to hang on to his
anger.  "Then why'd you kiss her?"

"Because we were both idiots, that's why.  It was back when you were
hiding out on the holodeck and not talking to anyone and she was
frustrated by it and was mad at you because of the parole test.  The
fact you weren't going to rendezvous with her and the others later as
you'd claimed.  She was wishing she had fallen for someone
uncomplicated and predictable like me."  He turned on her.  "Which
really bugs me, you know.  I know I'm not as exciting as Tom is, but I
don't think I'm dull."

"You kissed him not because you were attracted to him, but that you
were mad at me and hoping you'd feel something for him and be rid of
me.  That makes me feel so much better."

"Tom-" they both tried only to be cut off.

"It makes me feel good to know that loving me is that much of a burden
to you that you'd try anything to be rid of it and me."

"No, Tom, you don't understand!" she maintained.  "I was just so upset
and-"

"And what happens the next time you get upset?  Do you have sex with
him?  Someone else?"

"No, Tom-"

"Tom, that's not fair," Harry argued.

"I'm so sorry if it offends your delicate sensibilities, Harry, but I
think in light of what you two have just admitted to it's a valid
question."

"I love you, Tom Paris," she said simply.  "No one else."

"But did you love me when you were necking with him as Geron termed
it."

"Yes, but we explained why it happened.  I was stupid and we should
never have listened to Janeway and Chakotay when they-"

"They knew about this?  Was there anyone on board that didn't know
about this?"

"The Delaneys knew and Geron and Nozawa, but they were all either
there or came in later.  And Janeway and Chakotay knew because they
found out.  But until Naomi overheard Geron and Ver talking and
blurted it out in the Mess Hall, only the eight of us knew.  Well, and
you, but we didn't know that and it wasn't the right version anyway.
We should have told you right when it happened, but you were with
Tuvok in your head and the Captain and Chakotay told us to keep it to
ourselves or it would hurt you.  Only it did anyway."

"Tom, we've explained what happened," Harry tried again.  "I wasn't a
smart move, just a human one.  You've made mistakes yourself.  You can
understand how easily it can happen."

"Not like this, Harry," he denied.  "And my mistakes tend to be on a
larger scale."

"Look we screwed up, but that doesn't change how either one of us feel
about you or each other.  She loves you.  You love her.  I love both
of you as my best friends.  It's that simple."

"This hardly is simple."

"Yes, it is if you'd just calm down and admit it."

"So I'm supposed to just forget what happened, that it happened, and
we all go back to the way it was before I found out?"

"Maybe not forget it, but dismiss it as unimportant and go back, yes."

"Back to how both of you were treating me before I left?  You hating
me and her not wanting to be in the same room with me?"

"No, of course not."

"Oh, you two have had some great revelation, hmm?  Suddenly I'm not
the monster I once was?"

"We needed some time to get some perspective and for the shock to wear
off.  Now, we understand or at least can sort of accept most of it."

"And what can't you accept, Harry?"

The answer came easily to him.  "Souris.  I still can't accept your
approving of her suicide."

The mention of her name brought back the emotions of the time to Tom.
"She couldn't live with that, Harry," he whispered.  "No one could.
And when more of her memories came back to her in time... She would
have thrown herself out of the nearest airlock or turned her phaser on
herself.  There were things she did that it was best she never knew
about.  Things that almost made killing her own mate and children pale
in comparison.  Ending it then and there was the most merciful thing
for her."

Whether it was enough time having elapsed for him to be able to look
upon things more clearly or Tom's words, it was unclear, but, from
that moment forward, Harry stopped his arguing over the subject and
never again spoke of it or Souris again.  "I think you two need to
talk alone for a while," he said and started for the door.

"Why'd you go to Rachar to find me?" Tom questioned before the ensign
could go.  "After the cave-in?"

Without turning back, Harry told him about the P'Chi, their tricking
him into thinking he was dying, and how that glimpse of his own
mortality had made him rethink things.  He had realized he wanted Tom
back in his life and how the things Tom had done were not his fault so
he should not be penalized for them.  "I wanted to tell you all that
only Rachar was destroyed and we had all those survivors to take to
New Rachar.  By the time I had got over the shock of all that, you
were gone.  I never had the chance to tell you until now."

"I see."

"I do love you, you know.  You're my big brother and I don't want to
lose you again."  Not waiting for a response, he walked out.

B'Elanna, still in her chair, looked at his boots, less than a metre
from her own.  "I don't want to lose you either."  She swallowed hard
and dared raise her eyes.  "Am I going to?"

Tom did not speak for a long moment as he processed everything that
had been said since he had entered.  Then he met her eyes and he
stopped breathing.  Their chocolate depths held a pleading look he had
never seen before.  Tears nearly eclipsed it, but it still was very
much there.

"I already lost my father.  I don't think I could take it if I lost
you too."

He merely continued staring into her eyes.

Then, just as she was about to concede it was over, that he did not
want her any more after how she had disappointed and betrayed him, one
shaking, long fingered hand lifted and touched her cheek.  She was
about to melt into the touch when the hand withdrew.

"If you try and leave again, I'll just have to try and run after you
in my neglige again.  And Joe's not here to tell me to put some
clothes on."

He frowned.

"When you brought me the padd with your note, I was exhausted.
Finally Joe had a couple of people take me to my quarters.  At least I
think that's how I got there.  I'm not sure, but I was there and in
bed when he found me to give me your message.  He had to read it to
me, I was so tired, only I woke up when I registered what he was
saying.  I would have run after you dressed -- or undressed really --
as I was if he hadn't stopped me.  Then I found out you already were
gone and the Gherop and you know what happened from there."  She wiped
away a tear that was trying to fall.  "Why did you write me a note and
not Harry? Any why bring it to me in Engineering?  Why not just send
it to my personal database?  Were you hoping I'd stop you and tell you
it was all a big misunderstanding?  I would have if I'd have been more
awake and read the padd when you gave it to me instead of setting it
down somewhere while I helped clean up after the fire and Walesan
later found it, gave it to Joe, who brought it to me."

"I don't know why I did it.  Maybe I was hoping you'd tell me it all
was a lie.  Maybe I was hoping you'd come running after me and tell me
not to go.  Maybe I was just in a melodramatic mood or wanted someone
to know why I was going and how it was their fault.  I don't know.
And I don't know why I didn't give one to Harry.  You both hurt me,
but I think you hurt me more.  You are my mate.  No, we haven't taken
the oath or married, but you are still my other half and to hear of
you kissing or anything else with anyone else, especially Harry... It
hurt like Hell.  And to hear you did it because you were hoping it
would kill anything you felt for me... I don't know if I can get
past that."

"I see."

He slowly stepped towards the doors.

"You're not going away again, are you?"

"No.  I'm staying with Voyager for now.  You'll be opening the Gopher
Hole soon.  Might as well all of us go home together.  Only one hole
needs to be opened."

"You're not coming back to Voyager though, are you?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Can I see you again?"

He thought about it.  "I'll be around.  That's all I can promise right
now."

"Okay."

"Let me know when I can have two coils, just make it soon.  Sunfire
needs them and doesn't have the power to spare to replicate them."

"Sure.  Tom?"

Again he stopped.

"Maire said... Maire said I was to ask you about a tattoo."  She
blinked as his hand automatically came up to his left bicep and she
remembered Maire tapping her own as she had commented on her strange
request.

"Ask me again another time."

The moment he was gone, she permitted the tears to fall.

---

Chakotay stood uncertainly before the panel next to Holodeck Two.
Sure the New Kildareans -- for lack of the proper name for them, they
still thought of them as that -- had said the ECH was finished and in
the holodeck programmes, but he did not know whether to believe them
or not.  Not that he could think of a reason why they would lie to him
about this, but he still remembered the last time he had been present
for this programme's activation and the failure that was.

"Computer, run ECH programme."  After an unconscious deep breath, he
stepped through the doors.

They had designed the interior of the ECH's "office" to look like his
own office, but with slightly more room in the informal seating area
so those seeking counselling would feel more relaxed than sitting in
the chairs before her desk.  Behind said desk was precisely where she
was sitting at that very moment.  As he looked at the hologram, he
marvelled at the fact all of the questions the New Kildareans had
pestered him with had resulted in this woman.  "They actually were
able to pull it off," he smiled to himself.

"Commander," she greeted in the warm voice he had spent hours
tweaking.  "Come in.  Come in."

"You work."

She smiled indulgently.  "Clearly.  Actually, I 'worked' the other
day, but we wanted to wait before we told you that.  Now that you know
the truth about New Kildare... Well, now it's up to me to sort things
out."

"Why did you have to wait?  And how do you know we know about New
Kildare?  And sort what things out?"

"Answering your questions in order.  We wanted to wait before letting
you know I was fully functional because it gave Stephane, Declan, and
Nana an excuse to meet with you.  I know about New Kildare because you
are here and alone instead of them with you to show you they perfected
me.  And as for sorting things out, I mean you and your situation with
one Thomas Eugene Paris."  She cocked her head to one side and watched
him appraisingly.  "You want to talk about it, Commander?"

"Talk about what?"

"Your hostility towards Tom Paris.  That was part of the reason they
volunteered to help you create me.  They saw your and everyone else's
anger towards Tom Paris to be a major wrong that had to be righted."

"I have no desire to become your first patient, Counsellor."

The door behind Chakotay opened and the Commander saw Tom Paris step
through.  Before he could say anything about having meant his last
comment, the ECH jumped in.

"Pretend this is Tom Paris," she suggested, drawing Chakotay's
attention back to her.  "What would you say to him right now if he
were here and willing to listen to what you have to say?"

"I don't want to-"

"Come on, Commander.  Every time his name is mentioned, you seem to
have a lot of things to say.  There he is, standing before you.  Why
aren't you saying them?  Or are they just words?  Are you all talk and
no action, Commander?  You made at yourself for something and taking
it out on him?  What did you do?  Is it because it was your akoonah
that Woke him?  Made him remember what he is?"

"Fine," he shouted, responding to the challenge in her voice.  "If
you're going to keep harping on the point.  Let's start with-"

"Don't tell me."  She gestured to the figure behind.  "Tell him."

"Fine, I'll talk to your hologram."  He turned to face him and let
loose with a barrage of every grievance he had against him.  "Your
past.  You knew for months what you were.  How the people that made
you probably were going to come for you eventually.  Or when we made
it home, they'd intercept Voyager and interrogate and possibly kill
all of us to find out if you'd told anyone about them or what you
were.  But you didn't tell us.  You told Tuvok.  Eventually.  And that
was only because he found out by accident."  Chakotay jerked a hand
towards Tom's head.  "He was in there so you couldn't hide it from
him.  But you somehow convinced him, not telling the rest of us, not
giving us any type of warning so we could prepare was the way to go.
What if they had used a different tactic?  What if, instead of trying
to get us to confide in them by pretending to be Special Ops, they had
just come in here and killed us all outright?  Eliminated the entire
problem, just took you and blew us to space dust.  They could have
easily.

"But then you're nothing but a cold and unfeeling bastard, aren't you?
You didn't care what happened to us anymore than you did all those
Rachar and Gherop you so easily condemned to death on Rachar.  You
displaced the Gherop from their ships.  Beamed up some Rachar then
took off, leaving everyone else there to die when the planet exploded.
All coolly done apparently.  Not surprising really considering you're
the type of man who wouldn't come back to defend Voyager when a Gherop
ship came back into the area.  If we had had our engine problems
before we lost them, not after, we'd be slaves or dead right now all
because you and Sunfire didn't come back.  You were still in range to
detect them. You had to have been, but there was no sign of you when
we needed you.

"Of course, I'm the only one who's figured that one out.  Everyone
else either has been obsessing about getting you back here or their
own imagined guilt in all this to think this through, but I have.  And
actually, I'm glad I'm the only one who's figured this out, because I
don't know what it would do to B'Elanna or Kathryn to realize you're
not the good, misunderstood, and under-appreciated man they think you
are.  Do you know how much it hurt them when you left?  Do you?
B'Elanna was a wreck.  This close to taking over Voyager and going off
after you.  Megan Delaney was little better.  Naomi wouldn't talk to
anyone and had to overhear your so-called real reason for leaving and
lived with that secret for I don't know how long before she told
anyone.  That poor kid was torn up inside thanks to all that.  And
Kathryn.  There were times that I literally thought she was going
insane.  Hell, I came up with this ECH idea just to try to stop that.
She felt so guilty and so responsible for you leaving the ship.  And
for unknowingly leaving you behind in that tunnel cave-in.  She spent
days in her Ready Room, not eating or sleeping or even moving off of
that couch.  Do you know how scared I was for her?  How I couldn't
figure out how I was going to look after her *and* captain Voyager if
it came down to that."

He shook his head to force back the tears that were forming in his
voice.  "You know, as selfish as it sounds, I think the worst thing in
all this, is you tricked me.  Admittedly, I let you.  I put aside my
distrust of you and fell for your wannabe heroic façade.  The golden
boy who had done wrong but was trying to do right.  You tricked me to
the point I actually told myself I liked and respected you.  That you
were the good guy Kathryn kept insisting was in there.  And then I
find out my gut instinct was right all along.  That The Protectors
engineered your induction into the Maquis.  That the only reason you
were there was to contact your AlphaOmegan on the inside who had gone
missing.  You used me.  You used me to get inside the Maquis.  I knew
at the time you weren't there because you believed in the cause, but I
never dreamt the real reason.  Or that there was anyone like your
Protectors controlling my and everyone else's lives and that you were
helping them.  I never thought I'd find anyone worse than the
Cardassians until I found out the truth about you."

At that point, he ran out of steam and venom.  He stood there, eyes
closing as he tried to control his breathing.  There was no other
sound in the room.  The ECH, having precipitated this outpouring,
seemed at a loss.  Whether the Tom Paris before him was capable of
speech, Chakotay did not know.

Until he opened his eyes and saw the look on the face of what he had
thought was a hologram.  It was then that Chakotay realized he had
been yelling at the real Tom, not a projection of his image.

"I always did what I thought was best for this ship, Commander," Tom
stated in a quiet voice.  "If that meant keeping some things from the
crew, then I did it.  But I always did it with their safety in mind.
I did everything in my power to keep them from being endangered.  Just
as I did for the Rachar.  If my cool head in the evacuation or the
decision to leave behind those I could not save were interpreted any
other way than they were meant to be, that is someone else's problem.
It was nothing other than keeping my head in a crisis and having to
choose to save some or none of those in danger and leaving behind
those who had created or abetted that danger.  As for not coming back
to your rescue, Sunfire picked up no Gherop ships as we were leaving,
but she travels at speeds so much faster than Voyager and the Gherop
that it is possible it came after we were out of range."

He paused for a second.  "Leaving Voyager and how it hurt everyone
else.  That was the next complaint?  I am sorry for what happened to
Naomi and I have told her so, but if anyone else felt guilty, then
they only have themselves to thank.  Everything they felt guilty for
was valid.  They *did* do things that made me leave.  Granted maybe
not quite as I may have thought, but still, it happened.  Why should I
be the only one to be consumed with guilt all the time?  Why should I
be the one who always has to pay for things?  I'm not the one who made
me what I am.  I'm not the one who made me do all those horrible
things."

The life came back into his voice.  "But I'm the one who keeps
apologizing and doing penance for everything.  I took all of the blame
when all of you got together and devised that parole test.  I went to
each of you and *apologized* for having been withdrawn and failing you
in the test, but all of you gave me faint hearted apologies, if any
apology at all.  I wasn't the only one in the wrong there.  All of you
lied to me about the parole test.  You made me think we finally were
home.  I went through Hell lying to B'Elanna, telling her we'd be
together soon when I really was planning to kill myself as soon as all
of you were gone and the Doc was waking the others up.  All so all of
you would be safe from The Protectors.  But none of you really did
much apologizing.  This time, Commander, I'm not going to meekly take
all the blame.  I have enough things to feel guilt over.  There's no
way I'm taking more than my fair share."

Tom turned to leave then turned back.  "And as for the Captain going
crazy, you may want to go to her in about twenty minutes.  I'm on my
way to see her.  Whether or not she's going to have a relapse, I can't
say, but you might still be on hand just in case.  And try telling her
you love her.  That might be something she might like to hear right at
this moment."

The instant the younger man had left, Chakotay turned on the ECH who
was staring at him, not so much amused, but at least with a definite
interest on her face.

"Why didn't you tell me that really was him?  Why'd you let me think
that was a hologram of him?"

"What would you have done differently, Commander?  Not told him how
you felt?  Walked out?  Greeted him like an old friend and pretended
there was nothing wrong?  You needed to say what you just said and say
it to him.  You could have said it to me, but who cares what saying it
to me is worth.  It is with Tom Paris that you have issues and it is
with Tom Paris that you had to talk.  And keep talking until you two
can work through this anger of yours and maybe, just maybe, rediscover
that friendship you accused him of tricking you into."

"That won't happen.  And I wouldn't have run or lied about how I feel.
I just wouldn't have yelled at him.  Not at this time anyway.  The
man's just found his honorary grandparents were alive then that they
weren't and had a daughter but didn't have one after all.... I just
would have picked a different time to confront him."

"Sounds to me like you are showing an awful lot of compassion and
sensitivity towards a man you claim to loathe and despise.  I think
you should be going, Commander.  I think there's a certain Captain who
may just be needing you right now."

Chakotay suddenly was standing in the middle of an empty holodeck, the
ECH having turned herself off.

---

Ver was not happy.  First there had been yet another argument with
LaKeysha.  Now there was the news that Paris had been seen back
amongst them.  Just what he did not need.  And it was going to change
if he had anything to say about it.

---

Tom stepped off of the turbolift at the Bridge and caught the arm of
Tuvok at Tactical.  "If it's just coincidence, Tuvok, then fine.  It's
coincidence.  If I find out you actually warned her I wanted those
coils and told her to take them so I'd be sure to see her, then you
and I are going have some words.  Of the four  letter variety.
Starting with 'nosy' and getting more profane from there."

Tuvok did not even try to deny his hand in arranging B'Elanna and
Tom's meeting.  "Whatever my role, Mr. Paris, the fact remains you
were in her quarters for over twenty minutes.  And you do not look as
tense as you did when I first saw you."

"Do Vulcans have a concept of Hell?"

"Why?"

He headed down the stairs.  "I'd like to tell you to go there."

The conversation had attracted the attention of everyone, including
Baytart who had swivelled his seat at the Conn fully around.  "Tom,"
he smiled, standing and gesturing to the chair.  "Just been keeping it
warm for you."

"She made you Conn Officer," Tom stated, stopping half way between
Baytart and the Ready Room door.  "And promoted you.  Good."

"But now that you're back, I'll be more than happy to step aside and
you can go back to-"

"I am not resuming my duties, Pablo.  That's your chair now.  You've
earned it."

With the exception of Tuvok, who already had known Tom was not
returning to the ship, Baytart and the others on the Bridge were
stunned.  Tom ignored them and continued on to the Ready Room door.

"Come," was the command from inside.

He stepped through to find the Captain seated at her desk.

"I heard you were aboard," Janeway smiled when Tom entered her Ready
Room.  "How are you?"

"I came here to see you merely as a courtesy, Captain.  Sunfire is in
need of two 42-J coils and Lieutenant Torres has them for some
experiment or something she is running.  Once she has finished with
them, she has promised two of the three to me.  Is there a problem
with that?"

"No, that's fine."

"Good.  Once she is repaired, we will continue to remain with Voyager
until we return to the Alpha Quadrant so if there are technical
questions that arise, we will be on hand to answer them."

Her smile faltered.  "You're not coming back to us?"

"No."

"But Tom-"

"There is no need for my continued presence aboard."

"No need...?"  She rounded her desk to stand before him.  "Tom,
there's every need.  The reasons you left... The part about B'Elanna
and Harry-"

"I have discussed the issue with them."

"Good."  She could not meet his eyes any longer.  "And the part about
not breaking the Prime Directive-"

"You followed the rules, Captain.  I will not say I am pleased about
that, especially in light of the number of times you have broken or
bent it yourself, but it is a non-issue now, isn't it?"

Grey eyes met blue.  "Tom, about the Rachar, I'm so sorry about what
happened to them.  It wasn't fair."

"They died free, Captain.  That is what matters.  They were free."  He
paused.  "But Voyager's crew would have died too if they'd been
there."

Her eyes dropping to his sweater covered chest, she nodded, accepting
the slight concession he was making.  "After you left, I was... I was
a wreck.  Chakotay thought I was having a nervous breakdown."
Hesitantly, she touched his chest.  "I guess I was.  Some people think
you and Seven are my surrogate children or that the entire crew is.
They're right you know.  And one of my 'children' left, just when I
was learning to accept what happened to him and what he'd done."

Tom stepped back and gave her an injured look as her hand dropped and
she looked up.  "That's just the point, Captain.  If you, all of you,
loved me the way you say you do, you shouldn't have had to *learn* to
accept my past.  If you cared about me, you would have listened to
what I'd said and accepted me despite things that weren't my fault.
But you didn't.  None of you.  Yes, it was a great shock.  Yes, I had
done terrible things.  But all of you knew it wasn't all my fault.
Only that didn't matter.  You were too wrapped up in your own horror
at what you'd learned that you never gave me a chance."

"I know and we are sorry for that, but we're just human, Tom.  It
takes us a while to accept and deal with things that come as shocks or
surprises.  The idea that people like The Protectors exist and what
they've been doing to everyone and have done to you, it was hard for
us.  We all grew up thinking our lives were our own, that we decided
our own destinies.  Only now we know how wrong we were and it scares
us.  We know we aren't AlphaOmegans, but what about our families and
friends back home?  We were worried about how things were going to be
when we arrived home,for the Maquis, for the rest of us, all of us
trying to readjust to
being home again.  Now we're worried about what The Protectors have in
store for us when we get there.  We know too much.  The odds are they
won't just leave us alone.  They'll try to stop us from telling what
we know."

"You leave that up to me.  I'll take care of them."

"How?"

"That's my worry.  Getting Voyager home is yours."

He turned to go and she caught his arm.  Slowly, he looked back at
her.  She stepped closer and put her arms around his thin frame.

"I'm glad you're back, Tom," she whispered.

Tom stood there for a moment then laid his hands on her back.

She held him tighter.  "And I'm sorry about the aliens.  I'm sorry
they weren't really who we thought they were."

Nodding, he drew away and twice tapped the combadge he wore.

Tim was waiting there for him aboard Sunfire when he appeared.
Throughout the couple of hours Tom had been on Voyager, the Starfleet
combadge he wore had been an open line over which Tim had been able to
listen in to what was being said.  They had not been able to discover
the reason for Sunfire and Moonfire's inability to monitor Tom's
implanted communicator, therefore the combadge.  Through it, he had
been able to vicariously at least be a part of Tom's meetings with the
crew and he knew what Tom needed when he rejoined him was not words.
He put his arms around his "father" and held him.

"Why does everyone in my life lie to me?" he sobbed.

"I don't know, Tom."

"My life keeps moving in circles, you know.  High. Low.  High.  Low.
Fate keeps jerking me around.  What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing.  It's just the Hell Fate decided we were to endure."

"We should go find Fate and toss her out the airlock."

"Okay," he smiled and held him tighter as the emotional rollercoaster
they had been on for the passed two weeks on slowed to a halt.

---

Sunfire and Moonfire were not pleased with what they had heard.  It
appeared Tom might actually reunite with that Klingon bitch if she and
the others had their way and that was not a prospect either of them
wanted to consider.  Moonfire had Tim, but Tom was Sunfire's.  She did
not want to lose him, certainly not to the likes of B'Elanna Torres.
The two ships talked this development over between themselves, not
letting their male counterparts overhear.

They did not know others were listening in.

---

"See?" Q said to her son in a tone that suggested what they had heard
the ship's saying had proven her argument for her.  "None of them are
worth your interest."

If he had inherited his father's curiosity, q showed his parents he
also had inherited his mother's glare in equal measure.

"Enough of this," his mother chastised severely.  "You will come back
to the Continuum with us now."

"Yes," his father concurred.  "If you wanted to study someone like
Janeway or Picard, then perhaps we might have approved, but this one
hardly is suitable unless you are studying the violent and self-
destructive natures of their species or how they can fall into
insanity.  Which appears to be a short trip for this one, given his
plans."

His mother was too angry to react to his father's inclusion of
Janeway's name as a good person to study.  Q silently breathed a sigh
of relief at his mate's having missed his slip of the tongue.

"And that's hardly the subject for one so young as yourself to be
observing yet," she continued.  "Once you are older and have a better
grounding in other areas, then you can address this subject again."

Their son responded to this logical argument by defiantly moving
closer to Tom and his clone where they still stood together.

"Q!" his parents warned in unison.

He furiously shook his head and wrapped his arms around Tom's right
leg.

---

Pulling away from Tim, Tom frowned down at his right leg.

"What is it?" Tim asked, following his eyes.

"It felt like something was touching my leg only there's nothing
there."

"Just a muscle spasm."

"Exactly."

---

to be continued . . .