The BLTS Archive- Riker's Bad Day/Beverly's Secret
by Mari-Anne (rams0910@sprint.ca)


---

Disclaimer: Paramount owns  'em, I don't (those rat bastards). Also,
have to give serious thanks to  "Romancing the Stone" for the idea
from which this little ditty hath sprung!

Spoilers: Post-All Good Things, and Picard and Crusher had taken the
risk after "Attached".Generations never happened.

---
Riker's Bad Day
---

As Will Riker got dragged down the hillside by the out-of-nowhere
mudslide, he wished that he'd never got out of bed today. As he
careened towards the large tree that resembled a cross between a
redwood and a cactus, he wished he'd never left Alaska. As his body
connected with the trunk of the tree and its spines punctured his
body, he saw stars, and hoped to God Beverly was on duty.

"Will? Will, can you hear me?" The voice seemed to be coming out of
the bright light that was shining in his eyes. He blinked a few times,
and the world came into focus, as did Beverly Crusher and sickbay.

"Bev? What happened? How did I..." As Will tried to sit up, his newly
repaired body let out a "Goddamn, no, lie still" howl. His memory
returned. "Oh, boy."

"Oh boy is right, Will Riker! I just spent three hours - yes, three! -
up to my armpits in your chest putting you back together! Don't you
move!" Bev grinned at the man she considered to be her best friend,
thankful that he was going to be okay. She'd lost Deanna and Jean-Luc.
She couldn't have taken losing him. "When Worf and Deanna saw you get
hit with that wall of mud, they called the ship for beam-out. We
didn't quite lock onto you in time, however."

Worf and Deanna, Will thought dully. He'd stepped aside after the
captain had told them what he'd seen. Had even agreed to let Deanna
break their bond, so that he wouldn't interfere in her and Worf's
lives. And then Picard had dumped - yup, dumped - Bev because he
didn't want to lose her friendship. Bev and he had pretty much spent
the last fifteen months sobbing on each other's shoulders, and
becoming each other's new best friends. It was ironic, really. He'd
lost Worf, she'd lost Picard, and they'd both lost Deanna. But they'd
found each other.

Will firmly redirected his thoughts elsewhere. He'd lost enough
friends recently because of those feelings. He couldn't lose her.

Will looked up into Bev's face, and managed a low-key grin. "So, when
are you going to spring me?"

"Tomorrow morning. I want to keep you here overnight for observation.
Both your lungs collapsed. and yes, we are still on for dinner." At
those words, Will glanced towards the table Bev had set up beside the
biobed. He grinned happily at Bev. "Here, let me help you sit up."

"You're a good woman, Bev." He caught sight of what was on the table.
"PIZZA!! Scratch that, Bev, you're the best! Now, feed me!"

---
Bev's Secret
---

Bev returned to her quarters after checking on Will one last time.
He'd fallen asleep  soon after they'd finished their pizza. She'd
stopped by Ten-Forward to tell  Deanna that Will was going to be fine,
and had not been surprised to find her and Worf so  enraptured in each
other that they'd completely forgotten that Will was in sickbay.  At
least Jean-Luc had come by to see Will.

Bev still couldn't believe that Deanna had picked Worf over Will. It
still made her angry to think about her demanding that Will agree to
have their link broken, when anyone could see how much it had hurt
Will. He was still recovering from the damage. Will had told her it
felt like he'd lost a part of himself. He'd had her in his head for
almost twenty years, then she was gone. She knew Will was still pretty
pissed off at Jean-Luc. As far as Will was concerned, the captain had
crossed one too many lines in his relationship with Beverly to chicken
out. Bev admitted to herself that she had felt that way at first, but
was now glad that he had. Because Beverly Crusher had a secret.

Beverly's secret was simple, yet complicating beyond belief. She loved
her best friend. Not just as a friend. She loved Will Riker. It was
funny, she thought, how things work out. She'd realized it about five
months ago. Will had been sent on what Command had thought was an
impossible mission: mercenaries had managed to steal a disk full of
tactical information. Starfleet wanted it destroyed. Will had been
sent to infiltrate and recover the information, or destroy it. When
the explosions had rocked the complex, everyone had thought Will dead.
Beverly had been inconsolable. But then the signal they were waiting
for popped up on the comm lines. Will Riker had returned to them,
battered and bruised. Beverly had known right then and there that she
was completely in love with her best friend. But she could never act
on those feelings. Ever. She couldn't risk losing him.

---

First thing in the morning, Beverly went by sickbay to have her usual
breakfast with Will. After releasing him, they left sickbay together
for the bridge and the normal morning meeting.

"So what've you got to do today, Will?"

"Bridge duty, and then Chief Andrews and I have to fill out all those
stores requisitions forms and send them off if we want to restock next
month on Starbase 11. Exciting, hmmm?"

Bev hooted. "Oh, yeah, betcha that's why you joined up - bureaucrats
and forms. Whoo-hoo!"

Will snickered as they entered the lift. "Bridge. Yeah, you know,
Boldly go with bureaucrats!" Bev looked at the snickering first
officer and remembered when he'd admitted to her that he'd joined up
because of the recruiters, not - as most thought - because of a desire
to explore or because of his father. He'd wanted to be geophysicist,
or seismologist. She remembered how much they'd laughed.

Will thought about how Bev had reacted, sitting there on the grass on
the planet they were assisting the terraformers on, when she realized
why he loved terraforming missions. He grinned at the recollection of
Bev accusing him of liking to play in the dirt way too much. He also
remembered how happy she'd looked, sitting there on the grass, the sun
making her hair glow like fire in a hearth. That, Will remembered, was
when he'd realized that he was completely, totally, irrevocably in
love with his best friend. No one had ever asked him what he liked.
They'd just assumed that he'd always wanted to be an explorer. Sure,
he loved it, but what made him happiest was, for lack of a better
phrase, dirt.

But he could never, ever act on those feelings. He could never, ever
imagine a little boy with his parents' love of science, or a little
girl who loved dancing and acting and exploring.

"Hey, there," Bev grinned as Will started from his daydream. "Have a
nice break, there, big guy?"

"Yeah," Will said quietly. Bev squeezed Will's arm and once more
cursed Deanna Troi for hurting Will Riker. Beverly had never realized
how gentle Will Riker was, or how easily he got hurt until she'd
really gotten to know him. She knew now that even though he loved
adventures on the holodeck, he also loved just walking in the forest
for the solitude it brought. She damned Deanna, that woman in San
Francisco, and his father for making him think he wasn't worth being
loved.

Will glanced at Bev and saw that sad look cross her face and smiled at
her. "Remember..."

"Denial is a wonderful thing." They said together. They separated as
the lift stopped, thinking as they crossed the bridge to the briefing
room, "if only...".

As Picard watched Beverly and Will interact as they entered the
lounge, he felt a thud of regret. He had given up Beverly to try and
keep something of her, and had lost both her and Will - the man who
had picked up the pieces - in the process. The cold war that had risen
between Will and himself was bitter. It was not damaging ship's
morale, but it wasn't helping it either.

Picard looked at Beverly, and knew that no matter how much he wanted
her back, it would never happen. Riker would kill him first. When he'd
broached the subject while he'd met with Will earlier in the week, he
had honestly feared for his life for a few fleeting moments.

Deanna watched Will hold Beverly's chair out for her, and felt a sense
of loss well up inside her. She had - through her own selfishness -
lost both Will and Beverly. She remembered how Beverly had reamed her
out after she had found out that Deanna had broken her bond with Will.
Deanna knew that Beverly had put Will back together afterwards, and
knew that Will had taught Beverly how to block Deanna's empathic
sense. Both were enigmas to her now. No matter how much she wanted to
change that. She knew now what she should've known from the outset:
Will was her soulmate and Worf her friend.

Worf saw Riker whisper something to the doctor that made her snicker.
Worf missed Riker. He was one of the few humans he could tolerate. But
his actions with Deanna had eliminated that connection. Worf knew that
Riker was no longer his friend, and he regretted it.

Nechayev's subspace link resulted in a new mission for Enterprise.
Find a missing shuttle squadron in the "Grand Banks", a series of
nebulous clusters surrounding a number off planets.

Bev heard a familiar rapping on her office glass.

"Hey, there. Whatcha up to?" Riker asked as he plunked himself down
into a chair.

"Reports," Crusher commented as she tossed the PADD to the desk. "Why?
What's up?"

"Wanna go for a ride?"

Bev chuckled. "What?" Will grinned at his Bev... No, Beverly, Will,
not your anything, he snapped at himself. "Data thinks he may have
found the crash site. Third planet, class M, but the distortion is too
severe to be sure. It could be a sensor blip, but... Captain wants us
to go check it out while they do a search of the last few planets."

"I'll meet you in the shuttlebay in ten minutes."


As Will and Bev approached the planet, communications with the
Enterprise were interrupted, and the shuttle careened out of control
into the atmosphere. Will managed to get the thrusters to fire,
allowing him to partially control their crash, but they still were in
great danger.

"I launched the beacon, Will!"

"Good. Now brace yourself, Bev, 'cause this is gonna hurt."


Beverly groaned as she rolled over and pushed something heavy off her.
It was so dark, she marvelled. "Will?" she asked hoarsely. "Will,
answer me! Will?"

"I'm okay, Bev." As Beverly stumbled in his general direction, he
noticed a streak of blood at her temple. He caught her as she began to
fall.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, but..."

"It's so dark in here. Do you know where the kits are?" Bev felt Will
stiffen. "Will, what's wrong?"

Will stuck his tongue out at Beverly. No reaction. A heavy ache
settled into the pit of his stomach. "Bev, there's a five metre hole
in the roof, the emergency lights are on, and it's hideously sunny
outside."

Beverly clamped down on the panic rising in her. "Will, can you get my
medkit? Good. Scan me. What does it say?"

Will gulped audibly. "Beverly, do you have a bad headache?"

"Yes."

"You have a serious concussion, and a skull fracture that's putting
pressure onto your brain. We need to get you to sickbay ASAP." Will
caught Beverly as she slumped into him. He gently helped her to sit
down. "I'll be back in a minute, okay?" Will grabbed a couple of
emergency blankets and the remnants of a cushion and created a
makeshift pallet for Beverly. "Here, sit right here while I do an
inventory."

Will was brutally honest - after Beverly yelled at him. No
communications, limited rations and medical supplies, and no accurate
knowledge of the planet, so no fresh water. "And I took a peek
outside. I could see the debris field from the shuttle squadron. No
signs of life. And I found our beacon. It crashed about ten metres
from us."

---

Picard waited impatiently for  Data to complete the scans of the crash
sites, trying to determine which was the  Enterprise shuttle. When the
shuttle hadn't reported in as arranged eight hours  earlier, he'd
brought the Enterprise to the planet. The distortion was still
interfering with the sensors. "Any news, Data?"

"Yes, sir. I believe I have found them."

---

Will put a cup of soup from their ration packs into her hand, and
turned back to trying to fix the comm unit. It was there only chance
of getting out of here. He heard a funny noise suddenly, scrabbling
across the outside of the hull, and up towards the gash in the
ceiling.

"Did you hear that?" He asked Beverly, thinking it was his
imagination, and that he'd hit his head harder than he'd thought.

"What?" An inhuman growl filled the air. "Oh, that."

Bev heard Will roll away from the comm unit. She heard him gasp, the
whine of the phaser. He knocked the soup out of her hand and yanked
her over to him. She heard that awful screeching noise and the phaser
firing, then the fizzing poing of a forcefield being activated.

"Will, what's happening?"

"I think I know what happened to the squadron officers, Bev. There's
this cat-like thing. I've stunned it twice it's barely slowed it down.
We're behind the forcefield in the cargo area." Bev heard Will
shifting while he paused, wondering how much he should tell her.

"Will, you have to tell me. I need to know what we're dealing with."

"I think it's hungry."

'I think it's hungry.' Jesus, Beverly thought, as if this couldn't get
any worse. "Will, what's our situation? I really need to know."

Will sat down beside Beverly on the floor. Keeping one eye on the
yowling beast on the other side of the translucent field, Will began
to list the particulars: "One, all our supplies, including medical,
are on its side of the field. Two, all the tools are there, too.
Three, I don't know what this is gonna do to our power supply."

Beverly looked in the direction of Will's voice. "And I can't see. We
don't know when Enterprise will get here." She paused, and suddenly
smiled a brilliant smile that made Will catch his breath. "Remind me
to never go for a ride with you again, Will Riker."

Will started to guffaw. Bev was glad; she hadn't liked the tone his
voice had been taking on. She reached out and put her hand onto Will's
thigh. "Risk is our business, and -"

"-Enterprise always alters the odds." Will gazed with a half-smile he
knew she couldn't see into her beautiful eyes. He slowly leaned
forward and kissed her forehead, pulled her into his arms and reclined
against the storage bench. "Let's just sit tight and wait for Picard
to pull yet another rabbit out of his hat."

Bev slowly let out a pent-up breath and relaxed into Will's embrace.
She probably wouldn't have another chance to enjoy this, if the
intensity of her headache kept increasing.

---

Back in the conference lounge,  Data and Geordi, along with O'Brien,
were presenting the situation to the rest of the  senior staff. "We
have located the away team. However, the distortion is limiting  our
communications ability, and has presented us with another difficulty."

Geordi and O'Brien stepped forward. "This is this situation: We can
only beam one up at a time, because of the constant phase-shifting. We
can only use one pad at a time. Using two could result in a really bad
accident."

O'Brien then added, "And there seems to be a large creature inside the
craft with them. And they seem to be behind some sort of forcefield,
so we're guessing that it's not there for tea."

Picard considered the information for a moment. As he opened his
mouth, Worf interrupted from the bridge. "Captain, we have an
opportunity to communicate with the shuttle crew." Picard slapped his
comm badge.

"Picard to Riker."

Riker jumped at the sound of his C.O's voice. He quickly responded,
leaninng Beverly away from him. "Riker here. Two to transport..."

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Number One. We can only beam one of you
up."

Will glanced at Beverly, who had lapsed into unconsciousness,
regardless of his best efforts to keep her with him. He hoped she
wouldn't recall his begging her to stay with him, to not leave him
alone, that he loved her and didn't think he could go on without her.
"Then beam Beverly straight to sickbay. She's badly hurt." The
officers glanced in fear at each other. "Commander, this is Dr. Selar.
Can you apprise me of her situation?"

Will shot a look at the forcefield, noticing suddenly that it was
rapidly weakening. "Unconscious. Skull fracture applying pressure to
her brain, blindness. Beam her up now. The forcefield's collapsing!"

"Standby for transport. Energizing." Beverly shimmered out of
existence. Will lunged at the control pad, desperately trying to delay
the inevitable failure of the forcefield.

"She's aboard, Number One. Data tells me it will take a minute to
recalibrate the transpoorters."

Will saw the field slowly begin to shimmer out of existence. "I don't
have a minute, sir." He could hear Picard barking at Data to beam him
up, Data telling the Captain that they still needed a moment. He
realized that the Riker luck had finally run out. "Sir? Tell Bev that
I love her, okay?"

The field collapsed and the most awful yowls - feline and human -
filled the comm line.

Deanna shrieked in agony, almost drowning out the Captain's "Get him
up here! Now Data!"


Riker couldn't breathe. he felt as if his chest was on fire. He could
hear the shrieking of the thing trying to eat him. It was taking
everything he had to try and hold the beast off of him. But at least
Bev was safe, even if he was a fool for not having the guts to go for
the glory. He suddenly felt as if a hot knife was imbedded in his
abdomen, and began to black out. He saw the creature's arm pull back,
readying itself to strike the death blow, when he felt the familiar
tingle of the transporter grip him. He saw sickbay form around him,
the surgical team race towards him, and nothing else.

---
(Later that day...)
---

Beverly blinked several times as she came around, much as she had in
his arms on so many mornings. "Beverly, it's Jean-Luc. We've got Will.
He's going to be alright." He clutched her hand, knowing what was
coming and fearing it.

Beverly blinked a few more times. She swallowed the lump in her
throat. "Jean-Luc...I can't see you. Why can't I see you?" Jean-Luc
squeezed Beverly's hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to
spill down his cheeks. "Beverly, Selar couldn't restore your eyesight.
The distortion field, coupled with the head injury, irreparably
damaged your optic nerves. Selar couldn't regenerate them. You're...
permanently blind, Beverly."

Beverly blinked repeatedly, shut her now-useless eyes, and withdrew
deep into herself.

Will could feel a warm hand squeezing his own. He smiled slowly.
"Bev?", he hoarsely whispered.

Deanna looked at the smiling bearded face lying in front of her, and
felt a pang of loss and regret. "Will, it's me. Deanna."

Will slowly opened his eyes. He looked to his left, and saw Bev lying
on a biobed, the Captain holding her hand and crying. He looked back
towards Deanna. Worf was standing behind her.

"How is she?"

Deanna looked at Worf, and bit her lip. Worf stepped forward. "She
cannot see, and nothing can be done to rectify it."

Will shut his eyes, feeling a pain so intense it left him numb lance
through him.

Deanna squeezed his hand. "You..um, you've been cleared for release.
Do you want to go to your quarters, or..."

"I'm gonna go see Bev. You and Worf can go."

Deanna slid off the stool and walked towards the door, hoping she
could make it out of sickbay, out of Will's sight without collapsing.
He loved Beverly. Not her.

Worf looked at Will, and suddenly grasped his hand.

"Worf, I..."

"Commander, whatever has happened between us has not affected how
important your friendship is to me. I am here if... if you need to
talk." Worf left quickly.

Will slowly got off the biobed, and staggered over to Beverly.

"Sir."

Picard nodded at his first officer. "Number One. I told her." Picard
shifted slightly under Riker's gaze. Will reached out and cupped Bev's
cheek, stroking her skin softly.

"Bev? It's Will. talk to me, Bev."

Jean-Luc Picard watched as Beverly opened her now-sightless eyes,
turned towards Will Riker's voice and brokenly whispered, "Will, I
can't see you." He watched his first officer gather her like a china
doll into his arms, watched as she sobbed her grief and rage out into
his chest. He looked back as he left sickbay, and saw them clutching
at each other so tightly that he could not believe anything could
separate them. he knew, as the doors slid shut silently behind him,
that he was destined to walk the path ahead alone.

Will sat, holding an emotionally exhausted Beverly against his newly-
reconstructed chest. He knew that he'd been given a second chance and
was determined not to waste it. Even if she sent him away, at least he
would wonder "what if I hadn't", instead of "what if I had". He had to
speak.

Similar thoughts ran through Beverly's mind. But she couldn't,
wouldn't make him feel responsible for her, wouldn't guilt-trip him
into... pretending with her,  for her. She'd just bask in the warmth
of his friendship.

"Bev?"

"Hmmm?" She snuggled further into him.

"I need to tell you something."

She leaned back and gazed sightlessly at him. "Shoot."

She felt him take a deep breath. "When I was down there, after you
passed out, after I had sent you back here, and when I was fighting
that...that thing, I swore that I was seven kinds of stupid for not
being honest with you."

Bev knew what was coming. He was going to tell her that he loved
Deanna and was leaving because he couldn't take the strain of his
unrequited love and hers for him. She was to say the least shocked at
what he said, though.

"You may not want to hear this, Bev, but I love you. I mean, I really
love you. And not just as a friend. You are my everything. Remember
that old series you made me sit through? Remember what that "Spooky"
guy said? 'You're my one in five billion'? Well, what "Spooky"
said..."

"Mulder. His name was Mulder." Beverly interrupted, barely believing
what she was hearing, her heart rising and singing an aria.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever. What he says is true for me, too. You, Bev, are
my one in five-hundred billion." Will didn't know what else to say. He
knew she was going to reject him. He was prepared for that. He wasn't
prepared for her hauling him down to her and kissing him as if he was
her scuba gear on a deep dive. Bev released Will after a few minutes.
Both were gasping, hearts pounding, pulses racing.

"So, I guess you don't find the notion of me loving you repugnant?"
Will asked quietly.

Bev twined her arms around his neck, smiling into his face. "Nope."

---
Epilogue
---

"Josie Louise and Dorothy Dana, get your butts back in here pronto!"

The two toddlers giggled uncontrollably and shrieked in delight as
their father scooped them up and trotted back towards the bathroom. He
burst out laughing at the sight of his wife climbing out of the bath
intended for the twins.

"I think these belong to you?" Will Riker gazed happily at the
fire-haired woman kneeling beside the bubble-filled tub.

Beverly Riker pushed her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose
and blinked at her husband through the foggy lenses. She thought back
to the fight they'd had soon after their marriage, about the surgery
that had partially restored her eyesight. She remembered the captain's
reaction to the shiner she'd given Will. She couldn't help it; she
started to laugh.

"Mine? They are most definitely Rikers. Not a trace of Howard in
them." She smiled up at her dusty husband of five years as she grabbed
the squirming Dorothy, stripping her of her muddy clothes and plopping
her into the tub.

"They have your temper, Bevie dear, and don't you forget it!" Will
remembered how flabbergasted he'd been when Bev told him they were
having twins. He still was, especially when he saw the two terrors
they'd produced tearing up his garden. He plunked the now-naked Josie
into the tub and sat down beside his wife.

Later that night, after the terrific (or terrifying, depending on what
they were up to) twosome were in bed, Bev looked oddly at her husband,
after listening to him discuss the new crop rotation schedule he'd
implemented.

Will looked at Beverly. "What? Are there aphids in my ears?"

Bev laughed, then sobered. "Will, do you ever regret leaving
Starfleet?"

Will put his mug down beside him as sat on the coffee table facing
Bev, and grabbed her hands. "Bev, i have never regretted coming to
Caldos with you, or finishing my doctorate, or becoming a farmer with
a fancy title." Bev snorted. Will grinned. "Yes, I know that's what
the captain calls me behind my back. You're a healer, and you can't be
one in Starfleet anymore. Our kids are safer and happier here, in your
family's home, than they would've been on the Enterprise. And, hell,
have you SEEN the size of my tomatoes? They're HUGE!!"

Bev burst out laughing. "I was worried that you weren't happy here."

Will slid onto the couch beside Bev, pulling her onto his lap. "I am
happy here." He grinned suddenly. "Now, when do I have to start
building the extension onto the house for junior there?"

Beverly gaped at her husband. "how did you...?"

Will grinned as he moved in to kiss his wife. "You showing earlier,
and you usually HATE tomatoes."

---

The End