The BLTS Archive - Ship Tales
The Third Saturday of the Month before Midnight
by Mandy (mandyfyn@hotmail.com)

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Disclaimer: This is fanfic for fun & not profit. Credit to the writers
of 'A Piece of the Action'.

Note: A reward for Acidqueen who wanted just one more K/S/Mc to make a
GO category, and because she does a great job putting out the list of
stories written every month.

---

"Have you decided on poker?" asked Spock as he took his seat. A pile
of chips stood placed ready at his elbow.

Kirk shuffled the cards and grinned. "Not poker, no."

He picked up the glass McCoy slid over and thoughtfully surveyed the
pale blue liquid. "Strip poker?"

"Guess again," prompted McCoy. He didn't bother trying to hide his
glee.

Spock tilted his head. The only noise in the room was the riffle of
the cards, but the atmosphere was heavy with expectancy. "Rummy?"

"Uh uh. Last guess," said McCoy and chortled into his glass.

"Go fish," offered Spock blandly.

"Nope. Today is Saturday so it has to be ... drum roll please, Jim ...
Fizzbin!" announced McCoy when Kirk put down the cards and beat a
brisk tattoo on the table.

"Aaaand as it's less than two hours till midnight, that means it's
...," Kirk paused and he and McCoy continued as one, "... Super
Fizzbin!"

"Actually, it would be Super Fizzbin Plus, as this is the third
Saturday of the month," said Spock, "which makes me the dealer. Are
you ready?" He had the cards in his hands and was reshuffling them
before Kirk or McCoy could draw breath. He dealt six cards each and
then an extra to McCoy who sat on his right. He squared up the
remainder of the deck and placed it equidistant between the three of
them. The top card was slid to the left of the pool and the second
card turned face up. He turned to the doctor. "Leonard?"

"Ah, two cards please." He tossed two chips into the centre of the
table.

Spock picked up the top card and placed it face up in front of McCoy.
It was the two of hearts. The second card he left face down. McCoy
lifted the edge and quickly put it down again. "Half," he called, and
added two more chips to the kitty.

"Shout." Kirk didn't wait for Spock to ask for his bet. He matched
McCoy's chips with four of his own and placed a clean white
handkerchief next to them.

"Double shout," responded Spock. He added his chips and a handkerchief
of his own to the pile before cutting the deck at random and then
exposing the card on the top of the pile that remained on the table.
The queen of hearts smiled into the room.

McCoy took a large gulp of his drink. "Half fizzbin," he announced as
he displayed two jacks from the cards in his hands. He gleefully
scooped the kitty toward him.

Kirk glanced quickly at his cards. Normally he liked to save the
wilder bets up for a little later, but the opportunity was too good to
pass up. "Take two, Bones," he said, and removed his left shoe. Ten
chips joined it on the table. He smirked at McCoy and then sat back in
his chair to see how Spock would play out the hand. Spock was too good
at keeping a poker-face and there was not even a tell-tale twitch of
his brow to give Kirk an inkling of his thoughts, even though half the
fun of fizzbin was psyching out one's opponents. The chances of either
the original top card, still face down on the table, and the card
beneath the queen being a four were good, and when Spock's right shoe
joined his on the table, he smiled even more widely.

"Damn." McCoy took a drink. He turned over the single card; it was a
four.

"A red four."

"I can see that, Spock."

"Well, then."

McCoy removed his shirt. He took the shoes and the chips and put his
shirt in their place.

"Jim."

"Three please, Spock." The eight of diamonds and ace of spades were
placed face up in front of him. Kirk lifted the edge of the third card
and when he saw it was a king, he handed it back to Spock. "I'll bet
five."

"Shout." Spock didn't waste any time; he removed his other shoe and
added it to the kitty with five of his chips.

---

Several hours later, McCoy frowned at his cards. Hearts and spades
fuzzed around the edges. One of Spock's socks hung from his left ear.
Kirk's handkerchief was knotted around his left wrist. He squirmed
awkwardly on his seat. His vest had rucked up over his hips again and
the seat was hard against his naked thighs. A winning hand had left
him without his underwear. If he could win this one, he could take
back his boxers. "Double and flip," he said eventually, and pushed
half of his remaining chips into the centre of the table.

Spock and Kirk immediately fanned their cards out face down on the
table. McCoy helped himself to one card from each hand and without
looking at them, put them with his own. Then he took a card from
Spock's pile and gave it to Jim. He did the same with one of Jim's
cards, giving it carefully to Spock.

Kirk pushed the sock that fell onto his right cheek back behind his
ear. He couldn't believe his luck. McCoy had managed to remove the
only two cards he didn't need to keep and the one he'd received from
Spock's hand left him needing just one card to win the game. There
were four cards left in the kitty. He wondered at the odds of one of
them being the jack of spades. He was wearing only his briefs; he and
McCoy had the same amount to lose. Spock had played cannily as usual
and still wore three items of clothing as well as a sock on each ear.
Nothing venture, nothing gained, as the saying went, so he matched
McCoy's bet. "Double and flip."

With McCoy and Kirk watching his every move, Spock took the top two
cards from the kitty and flipped them.

"Half fizzbin!" called Kirk at the sight of two red jacks.

Spock slowly pulled one card out from his hand. He placed it face up
next to the jacks. It was a third jack – the jack of clubs.

"It's a shralk! You're disqualified," crowed McCoy.

Spock pulled the socks from his ears.

"And the remainder of the penalty, mister. The Super Fizzbin Plus
penalty, if you please." Kirk leaned back in his chair and grinned at
Spock.

"I believe you are enjoying this too well, Jim." Spock's shirt joined
his pants, which hung over the back of his chair.

"C'mon Spock. This is a moment in Fizzbin history here. I don't recall
you ever being disqualified by a shralk."

"I have not."

"Then you'd better make it a good one." McCoy mirrored Kirk's actions
and settled back in his chair. When Spock's underwear and all of his
remaining chips and McCoy's handkerchief ended up on the table with
the kitty, Kirk and McCoy agreed as a fine moment it qualified
unequivocally.

"Winner in the middle then, Bones?" Kirk picked up his cards and
examined them once more.

"Agreed." McCoy turned over the first of the remaining cards. It was
the seven of spades. He added a single chip to the kitty and raised
his glass to Jim's protest.

"Very well. Double that." The ten of hearts joined the pile of
discards and two of Kirk's chips joined the kitty.

"Deuce! I claim the Antares variation. Beat that." McCoy pushed all of
his remaining chips and sundry articles of bettable clothing into the
centre of the table. Smugness radiated off him.

"The only way Jim can beat that is with a royal fizzbin and the odds
of that hand are -."

"Astronomical. We know." McCoy interrupted Spock. "C'mon, Jim."

"What the heck." Kirk's remaining chips, an odd sock and another
handkerchief ended up on top of the pile. He reached out and turned
over the last remaining card. He blinked and licked his lips. "Jack of
spades." His voice cracked twice so he cleared his throat and started
aging. "Jack of spades." From his hand he drew one card at a time.
"Queen of clubs, king of diamonds, ace of hearts. Royal fizzbin."

"Wha..." McCoy's voice trailed off disbelievingly.

"Fascinating."

"Now that's what I call a kronk," said Kirk and he led the way to the
bedroom to collect his prize.

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The End