The BLTS Archive- Long Lonely Winter
by Dr.Lense (drlense@gmail.com)

---

Disclaimer:  Star Trek and its characters are the property of
Paramount/Viacom.  I am not them.

Notes:  This is in response to Jam's homecoming challenge, but was
originally written as part of "Compromises".  My beautiful beta,
D'Alaire, suggested that it didn't really fit as part of the overall
narrative.  I agreed, and we chucked it.  But I think it could stand
on it's own, and I took out the stuff that referred to that story
more definitely.  The story was written two years ago, before Season
Six and Pathfinder, and before Lineage and Prophecy.  The title is a
reference to "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles.  (Get it?  Here
comes the son!  Get it! I'm so smart!) Thanks to Jam for the
challenge and D'Alaire for the early beta!  Although any errors are
all my own!

Warnings:  Overused plot clichés; a married couple cuddle in bed, the
Admiral says "damn" a few times.  Sentence fragments and runons.  :)

Archiving:  Please ask, but I'll probably say yes.

---

It was a familiar, insistent beeping.

I didn't want to get it.  I'm old, and I'm tired, and sometimes I
wish someone besides me was in charge and could get the calls in the
middle of the night.  Unfortunately, that's not possible.  So I
pushed the feeling aside and got up, reaching for my robe.  My wife
stirred quietly, but didn't wake.  She's used to tuning out the comm
signal-but she sleeps deeper than I.

I padded across the hall and into my office, wincing at the light. 
My biggest fear was that I'd lost a ship.  Things had been quiet
since the war, and losing a ship was uncommon with the Science
Division, but not entirely outside the realm of possibility.  I
activated the monitor and stared into the visage of an unfamiliar Lt.
Commander.  I put on my stoniest face.

"This had better be good, Commander.  I dislike being awakened in the
middle of the night."

He actually smiled at me, like he was going to give me a present of
some kind.  "I think you'll be pleased sir.  I'm Lt. Commander
Silverman of McKinley Station, informing you that Voyager is
requesting permission to dock."

When I was a young man news like that would've sent me leaping about
the room, yelling at the top of my lungs.  Ten years ago I might've
smiled, even.  But I've had some experience with disappointment- and
I didn't want to get my own hopes up.  It'd been over two years since
our last word- anything might've happened.  I kept my face still.
"Thank you, Commander.  Grant them permission, and contact Security,
and Admiral Preston, and let them know.  I'm transmitting you a file
containing our procedures for dealing with Voyager's return.  I'd
suggest you follow the protocols and contact me when you have more
information.  Paris out."  He nodded and I touched the monitor again.

Not long now, I thought to myself.  The first procedure listed in the
file was simple: contact the ship's Executive Officer and obtain a
copy of Voyager's crew manifest.  This would enable Starfleet to
contact the families of dead or missing crewmen, so that there would
be no premature celebrating.  I waited for this list, to know for
sure before I woke up my wife.

It was the longest fifteen minutes of my life.

The beep came eventually, and I didn't have far to look.  Senior
Staff at the top of the list.  Kathryn was still on it, and so was my
son.  I finally allowed myself a smile, and went to wake up Anne.

---

The first time, it was not night.

I was lecturing, well, guest lecturing.  Temporal Anomalies caused by
Supernovae Displacement.  A topic I once took a lot of pleasure in.
It was a class of third year cadets, required for graduation.  The
majority of them were not smiling, or enjoying themselves in any way.

To be honest, I wasn't either.  There was little that I enjoyed,
then.

So when the door opened, and the Ensign interrupted, part of me was
actually relieved.  Couldn't show it, but I was.  She came right up
to me and spoke softly.  "I'm sorry to interrupt, Admiral, but
Admiral Preston is requesting your presence in his office
immediately.  He said I was to escort you there personally."

"I'm in the middle of a lecture."

"I see that sir, but he said not to take no for an answer.  He said
it was very important."

So I dismissed the class, and followed the Ensign into the hallway,
the entire time curious as hell about what was going on.  Had the
Dominion broken through our lines somewhere?  Even if they had, Dan
Preston was not likely to call me out of a class to give me the news.

Was it one of the girls?  Had Jim been killed in action?  I didn't
expect it to be good.

My morbid thoughts kept me occupied during our short walk from the
Academy Campus to the Office Building at Headquarters.  I followed
her through the hallways, then through Dan's outer offices, and she
held the door open for me, and shut it behind me.  I felt quite
disconcerted.

Dan himself was standing at the replicator when I came in.  "Ah,
Owen.  That was fast.  Can I get you something?  A drink, maybe?"

I've known Dan Preston a long time.  Since I was a Lieutenant,
actually.  He would never offer me alcohol in the middle of the
morning unless something truly horrible, of a personal nature, had
happened.  'Hasn't Anne been through enough?' was all I could think,
as I shook my head and settled into one of his overstuffed office
chairs.  He took his place behind the desk, and looked at me evenly.

"I don't know how else to say this, Owen, so I'm coming at it
directly. We've had word from Voyager.  It's intact, and in the Delta
Quadrant.  Tom's alive."  I heard him, but it took a few minutes for
the words to register. He's not dead.  I passed a shaking hand
through my hair.

"I- I don't understand."  Wordlessly he passed me a Padd.  I skimmed
the contents.  Caretaker, Delta Quadrant, two crews, Borg,
Communications Array, EMH, Prometheus- the words passed through me
and under it all ran the one thought.  He's not dead.  Thank you for
this second chance.  My son's alive.

I was at the house within an hour.  I'd taken all the details with
me, written down, because I knew I would not be able to recite them
all to her from memory, and she'd want them, right away.  She was in
the backyard, looking over the rose hedges that run along the south
wall. She saw my shadow fall across the grass before she saw me.  I
sometimes come home for lunch, so I wasn't entirely unexpected.

"I'm thinking of getting some of these bushes replanted in the front
yard.  What do you think?"  I said nothing.  "Owen?"  She finally
turned around and looked at me, and just the sight of her, and
knowing that for once, finally, my news was good- I fell in love with
her all over again, right there on the patio.  I went towards her and
kissed her, and hugged her, finally whispering my news in her ear,
and eventually holding her when she cried.

That night we sat together at the kitchen table, composing a letter.

I was mostly silent, tapping in the words on the padd as Anne ran
them off rapidly, counting on her fingers as she did so.  "Write
about Moira's wedding to Jim- and make sure he knows he's an uncle,
and Kathleen's teaching job, and I guess we'll have to say something
about the war- but don't mention anything about the Maquis.  That
might be a sore subject.  I wish- "

"What?"

"I just wish they'd told us a little more about what he's doing."

"I brought home everything they had."

"I know, but it's so- I don't know- clinical, I guess.  He's alive,
he's a member of the senior staff.  Is he happy?  Does he have
friends?  Is he seeing anyone?  Does he miss us?  Does he think about
us?"

I leaned over and took her hand.  "I'm sure he misses you."  She eyed
me warily, and I sighed.

"Us, Owen.  Us.  You have to say something.  I think it's long past
time."  I just looked at her.  "Why don't you tell him that you love
him, and you're proud of him."

"He'll get the wrong idea.  He'll think I'm only proud because of his
commission."

"Are you?"  It was so quiet, I almost didn't catch it.  When I did, I
was suddenly very angry.

"Damnit, Annie!  You know better than that!"  She just looked at me.
"I can stand everyone else thinking badly of me, I can stand them all
thinking I ran my son out of this house to his death- even the girls,
but not you.  Not you.  He's alive, Annie.  That's all that counts.
He could be peeling potatoes in the galley for all I damn well care.
You know that."

"I know it.  It's good to hear you say it though.  Now, finish your
letter."

And she left me there.  I was at a loss.  I sat there, alone and
silent for what seemed like hours, before it finally occurred to me
that I could finally say those words that had eluded me all these
years, and he might actually hear me, because this would be all I
could say.  No excuses, no second guessing from him.  Just, I'm
sorry.  And I forgive you.  And come home soon.

So I wrote it, and there was more there, finally, than I'd
anticipated.  We sent it off.  We never could be sure if he got it,
and there was no response.  Days passed, then weeks, and it occurred
to me that I could be living in this limbo for the rest of my life-
not knowing.  Never knowing.  Despite that, in my heart I still felt
better than I had in years, and I knew Anne did too.

It was a few weeks later, and we were lying in bed next to each
other, talking, as we did more often now, of him.  The memories were
less bitter, and it was comforting, in a way.  She was lying against
my side, her head cushioned by my shoulder, when she said it.  "What
will happen to them when they come home?"

It was funny, because it was something I'd never considered, yet
immediately I knew I should.  She continued, "They could find a
wormhole or something and be here tomorrow.  Then what?"  I knew she
was not only thinking of Tom, but the rest of that haphazard crew.
Prison?  Parole?  Starfleet?  I had to be honest.

"I don't know."

As with all the best ideas, it started with her.  "They should know,
before. Starfleet should figure out what's going to happen before
they get here. It'll save a lot of trouble later on."

"You're right.  I wonder who'll they'll get to head it up."

She raised herself up on one arm and looked at me.  "You should do
it."

"What?  I'm in Science, not Rescue and Recovery.  Besides, I don't
have any qualifications."

"Tom's your qualification.  No one else may even think of it.  It'd
be good for you, get you going again.  Besides," and she leaned down
and nearly whispered the words.  "It'll be one hell of a gesture."  I
knew she was right, immediately, so the next day I went to see Dan
Preston and we started the Voyager Project right there, in his
office.  It took some doing, but most of the details were ironed out
in less than  a year.  The protocols were filed away, in anticipation
of their arrival.  I felt better.

---

Anne and I didn't sleep the rest of that night.  It was 03:30 anyway,
and Dan and I were scheduled to meet with the Senior Staff at 07:00.
I figured I would leave a little early and see if I couldn't catch
Kate Janeway in her Ready Room before the meeting.  We lay there
fidgeting for another hour.

"When can I call him?"  She was like a child at a birthday.

"I told you, all communications will be restricted until after the
staff meeting.  Say, about 12:00.  Then we'll open up the lines. 
They won't be let off the ship for another few days though, so don't
get your hopes up too high."

"Owen, can't you-"

"It wouldn't really be fair, would it?  For me to sneak you on board
while Gretchen Janeway and every other family member waits down here?

Besides, it'll give non-Terran family members a chance to get to
Earth.  And we can make sure they have no alien diseases or other
such weird phenomena."  She sighed, she was unhappy, but she knew
that I was right.  It wouldn't be fair, and I couldn't do that.

Eventually it was time, and we got up and she made me breakfast while
I put on my uniform.  It was a silent meal, but she handed me a Padd
as I was walking out the door and I knew it was for him.  I almost
handed it back to her, then I saw her face and I thought- to hell
with protocol.

---

McKinley station was a hive of activity, Security teams everywhere
and data transfers ongoing.  I found Dan eventually, after a few
misdirects.  He laughed when I asked my question, but he nodded as
well.  "She's been in her ready room all night, overseeing the data
transfers and reviewing our Project Protocols.  I'll see if she's up
for a visitor.  If so, we'll transport you right there."  That was
better, that was what I wanted.  I feared walking through the halls
and running into him, before I was prepared.

I stepped out of the office, while he made his request.  She was
apparently ready and willing, and a few minutes later I found myself
materializing in her Ready Room.  I was, of course, facing the wall,
and it took me a second to orient myself.  I turned around, and there
she was, and I was again painfully aware of the passage of time.  But
it's been six years, I thought to myself, I must look older too.

"Admiral.  It's good to see you." She said, and took my hand.  I was
a little surprised at the restraint of the welcome.  I had once been
her mentor, and I was the first familiar face she'd seen, but she was
very professional.  I echoed it.

"Captain.  I don't know which to say, Congratulations or Welcome
Home.  Both maybe."  She gestured towards the couch, and we moved to
sit.

"It's all a little overwhelming still.  I'm not sure whether to be
pleased or anxious."  She was a cagey one.  But I knew what she was
after.

"I can understand your concern, Katie, but you needn't be worried
about your crew.  I'm supposed to wait until after the de-briefings,
but I can assure you that none of them are going to prison.
Punishment is not really an option at this point."  She looked
pleased.

"That's a relief.  Can I get you something?  Coffee perhaps?" She
gestured towards the replicator.

"Please," I answered and she stated her request and handed me the
mug.

"So, can you tell me anything about what to expect in the next few
days? Admiral Preston led me to believe that you were overseeing the
whole project."  She smiled at me, and relaxed a little bit.

"Dan is a fool sometimes.  The Project is in the hands of Starfleet
Security right now.  But he and I did set the groundwork.  We didn't
want you all laying in limbo for weeks while we haggled over the
small stuff.  He and I will be going over the majority of the
procedures in the staff meeting.  I appreciate your generosity about
the data transfers- it was very important that Command receive the
logs of your missions as soon as possible so that they could finalize
the remaining details."

"I admit, I was concerned when they asked first for the crew
manifest, but once Commander Silverman explained I understood the
reasoning."  She looked somber.  "I still have the, condolence
letters, on file.  I'd like to pass them along as soon as possible."

"The comm lines will be open as soon as the staff meeting is
finished.  We did want to make sure all the families of the deceased
were notified first. Although that was quite a sore point with Anne."
She glanced at me, and I knew that she was startled that I'd brought
Tom up first, in a roundabout way.  She thought I would wait.  There
was a time I might have, too, but not now.  "I trust he's well?"

She looked pensive for a moment, and I was afraid.  I guess my alarm
showed, because she answered rather quickly.  "Yes, he's very well.
He's been a fine officer and a good friend, at times."

"I'm sure he has."  She looked startled again, and I wondered at
this.  She knew me, she knew what I was like.  Did she really think
that I'd be holding this old grudge after all this time, after this
remarkable return of his? When I thought him dead for years?  I was
confused and then I thought- it's him.  They all think it must be me,
who ruined his life, because he's so different now.  I sighed
heavily.  This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Admiral, there are some things you ought to know, about his personal
life. I think it would be better if I told you, that you have some
time to get used to them."  This was a shock.  I considered the
possibilities.  Those 'Fleet Legends' came back to me in a rush and I
thought to myself- alien possession?  Memory loss?  What could it be?

"Tom's married, and he has a child."

Hell, was that it?  Who did she think I was, anyway, that I'd be
upset about this?  Still, it was a little shocking.  I had a hard
time visualizing my son with a family of his own.

"That's- that's wonderful.  His mother will be ecstatic.  She was
demanding to know- when we heard from you last- about his personal
life."  A grandchild.  I couldn't believe it.  Another Paris.  It was
wonderful.  "You scared me, Captain, I thought you were going to tell
me that he'd gone insane."

"No, not at all."

Suddenly I couldn't wait anymore, I knew all I needed to.  "Can- can
you ask him to come in here?  I'd like to hear the rest from him- and
I'd like to spare the rest of the staff any awkwardness during the
meeting."  She hesitated briefly and then nodded and tapped her
commbadge.

It wasn't a long time, not really, when I'd been waiting years.  It
seemed longer.  Things slowed down again, and then there was the
signal at the door and I got up.  He was not expecting me, that's for
certain.  He looked shocked as hell.  Older too, I thought again to
myself, but better.  Not dead, like last time.  He didn't speak, but
stared at me like I was a ghost. I started to get nervous again.

"I'll see you both in the staff meeting," said the Captain, as she
beat a hasty retreat.

There was an awkward pause.  I heard Anne's voice in my head 'hug
him, you moron!' but I couldn't move.  "It's good to see you again,
son." That was all I could manage.  He didn't say anything, but he
crossed his arms defensively.  It hurt me more than any words could. 
He looked like a dog waiting to be hit- my son waiting for me to say
something hurtful.  I suddenly realized again how much work I still
had to do and I wondered how much longer I was going to have to pay
for my mistake.  Maybe forever.  "You look well," was my next, weaker
offering, and I moved closer to him.

"You- you do, too."  He finally said, taking his arms down.  "How are
Mom,and the girls?" And his tone was a little softer, and I suddenly
remembered the Padd I was still carrying and I handed it to him.

"Your mother is barely restraining herself at the house.  You'll have
to call her as soon as you can.  She was begging me to sneak her on
board- and once she hears there's a baby they'll be no stopping her."

He glanced down at the Padd, but to his credit, didn't read it.

"The Captain told you about Katie?" and for a second I was confused,
until I realized that was the baby's name.  A girl.  I was beaming,
and he smiled, too.

"She just said, married, baby.  She didn't say who- or boy or girl. 
A granddaughter.  Your mother will be thrilled."

He looked almost disappointed, in a way.  "Then Moira and Kathleen,
they haven't- they aren't?"  It occurred to me, he didn't know, he
hadn't gotten the letter.  He thought we didn't bother to write.

"Your mother will be so disappointed when she finds out you didn't
get the letter."

"No, it didn't come through.  I always wondered, but, no."

Damn.  That might've made it easier.  "Moira is married- to Jim
Murphy, he's an Ops Chief on the Santa Maria.  He made it through the
war all right- thank goodness.  Kathleen is still single, but Moira
and Jim have a son. Tommy was just three a few weeks ago."  He looked
a little stunned.  "James Thomas Junior, actually, in an odd
coincidence, but he was born right after the memorial service, so-"
he nodded a little bit-understanding more, but still surprised.

That awkward silence was there again, and I wondered if I should say
anything.  I wanted to ask, who is your wife?  How old is your child?

But it wouldn't come.  We just studied each other some more.

"I'm sorry, if I shocked you like this- but, I wanted to see you
before the staff meeting."  He nodded.

"Yeah, it- it makes it easier.  I was a little surprised when they
said you were in charge."  I shook my head.

"I don't know who's been spreading these rumours.  I'm not in charge.
Dan Preston and I came up with some ideas for dealing with your
return- we wanted to make sure that there were as few loose strings
as possible. Security is really in charge- we're just working as
liaison officers. Actually- it was your mother's idea."  He smiled at
that, as if to say- it sounds like her.

"It's still- it's nice that you're a part of it."

"I'm just glad that you're home safe."

I knew then that there probably would never be a real resolution
between us, this was the closest we'd each come to saying we were
sorry.  Pride, my worst failing and one that I'd passed on to my son.

I realized that for the rest of our lives we'd always be tiptoeing
around minefields.  Sometimes there is just too much hurt done,
between families.

The comm line beeped then, and an unfamiliar voice said "Senior
Officers report to the conference room."  I knew that it was time for
the meeting. He led me across the bridge silently, to stares from the
skeleton crew, and into the conference room.  There was only one
other person there.

I recognized her, right away.  I'd spent so much time going over the
crew manifest and dossier that I think I might've recognized everyone
on the ship, at least by name.  This woman was more familiar than
others, being Chief Engineer, and I was soon glad of it, because she
came right over to us, and Tom then introduced her as his wife.

I smiled at her, and she looked at me very, very warily, and once
more I wondered at what he had told his friends about me.  "It's a
pleasure to meet you," was all I said, but it seemed to be the right
thing, because she took my hand and relaxed a little.

It sounds funny, to say that she reminded me of Anne then, because
physically they were as different as two people could be.  But it was
the way she stood, and a certain look in her eyes, that brought my
wife to mind, and I couldn't help but like her on the spot.  We just
stood there, surveying each other, until Captain Janeway came in with
the rest of the staff and Dan Preston not far behind.

Introductions were brief, with most people glancing at me with
surprise when they heard my name, but I was used to it by then, and
kept my face pleasant. The meeting had been restricted to Senior
Staff only, Mr. Neelix and Seven of Nine were politely "uninvited",
and the Doctor was also absent.

"All pleasantries aside, we should probably get down to business."
Dan's tone was cheerful.  "First off, I want to say congratulations
to all of you, for a mission well done.  We've been downloading
information for the past four hours, and we've still only scratched
the surface.  There's a lot that needs to be gone through by
Security, some of which will have bearing on Starfleet's decision-
making, but I think I can reassure you that everyone at Headquarters
is very, very pleased with your return."  He smiled around the room,
and they all looked a little pleased, but still mostly nervous.  I
couldn't blame them.

"I want you all to understand that Comm lines to Earth and other
sectors will be opened after this meeting- so that you will all have
a chance to contact your families.  Please excuse the delay, our
intentions were not to postpone your homecoming, but to make sure
that we contacted the families of deceased crewmen before general
word got out."  They seemed a little relieved, and some nodded.  "You
will have to endure some de-briefing here, but it shouldn't be longer
than a day or two before you're all allowed off the ship."  He smiled
again.

"Voyager's original mission was to pursue and capture the Maquis ship
Liberty, and return her crew to Earth.  That was accomplished," and
he smiled wryly again, producing a short laugh from Captain Janeway
and her first officer, "but I think it's safe to say that the
original mission changed, somewhat.  Captain, Commander, we know that
your first concern is the future of your crew, and we want to
reassure you that none of them are going to prison."  A collective
sigh seemed to come out of the table. Everyone looked relieved, even
Commander Tuvok.

"The war with the Dominion and the losses suffered by Starfleet have
placed a premium on qualified personnel.  Evaluations and logs still
have to be reviewed, but I think it's safe to say that most of your
crew will be invited to continue their careers with Starfleet, if
they're so willing."

"And if they're not?"  This from Commander Chakotay.

"Then they'll be free to go.  We have no wish to detain anyone.
Starfleet can certainly play the heavy, but has no desire to do so in
this case.  You have all been well and truly out of it for the last
six years.  You deserve your freedom."

"Admiral," said Captain Janeway, "I gave field commissions to several
non-Starfleet personnel.  Will Starfleet respect those?  Or will
they be reduced in rank?"

Dan nodded towards me, and I cleared my throat.  So far I had not
spoken in the meeting.  "Again, logs and evaluations have to be
reviewed before any of this is definite, but based on my preliminary
agreement with Starfleet Command, they are prepared to respect your
commissions, with the exception of Lt. Torres."

She looked startled, and Tom started to say something, but I held up
my hand.  "The Lieutenant did not graduate from the Academy.  Because
of this, command was hesitant to honor your commission.  However, we
were able to reach a compromise.  If she is willing, the Academy will
offer her an eight month 'accelerated' course, and if she passes her
exams at the end of that time they will recognise her commission
without condition."  She seemed less upset, and placed a hand on
Tom's arm, as though to prevent him from speaking.

Captain Janeway looked at me again, as though she didn't want to ask
what she was about to, "And Lt. Paris?"

I raised an eyebrow, but I answered her.  "Tom has been granted the
equivalent of time served.  Starfleet has agreed to honor his
commission, if he wants it."  He didn't look at me, but good old Dan,
he knew how to cut the tension.

"I assure you, nepotism played no part in that decision," he said
sarcastically, and I was so surprised, and so wound up, that I
actually laughed.  It felt nice, and certainly lightened the
atmosphere.

We went on, for the next few hours, patiently answering questions,
reassuring them that we had covered every contingency, that their
opinions would be valued, and that the Doctor and Seven of Nine would
not be stripped for parts.

"The Federation has been experimenting, and there have been examples
of self-aware holograms before, but none have had the option of
mobility. In that respect, the Doctor is unique.  It took some legal
wrangling, and we weren't able to declare him a citizen, but some
important decisions have been made.  Most importantly, the
holo-emitter has been ruled his legal property- in fact, an extension
of his person.  It cannot be removed from him, or taken apart in any
way without his consent."  Dan rubbed his head, and I understood,
this part was complicated.  "Although not a citizen, the Doctor has
been given the status of 'unique individual' and he has rights under
the law, most importantly, the right of self-determination.  They
will not de-program him, or harm him in any way, although there are
some people at the Jupiter Station who would really like to get a
look at him.

"Seven of Nine has also been granted Federation Citizenship and all
the rights there-in, but there are a few more people at HQ who want
to talk to her, as you might well imagine.  Since she is not a member
of Starfleet, she is free to go, although if she'd like to continue
her work they'll be willing to grant her the title of consultant. 
But we'll have to ask her that herself.  No harm will be done to her,
and we certainly won't lock her up for Borg 'crimes against
humanity'."  I blessed Dan Preston's sense of humor over and over
again during that long meeting.  He made those people feel relaxed
and relieved, and did a much better job than I ever could've,
especially with my son and his wife sitting just a few feet away from
me.  I still couldn't get over it, and there were times during the
meeting when my mind wandered and I just stared at them in amazement.

My son.  And his wife.  And their daughter.  The words felt so funny
to me. There was a time when I thought I'd never say those words
again, and here they were, like a dream, in the room with me.  It was
a gift, and I promised myself again that since the words were
impossible to say, I was going to demonstrate to him that he had my
love and forgiveness.  No matter what, even if he didn't believe me
and if it took me the rest of my life to prove it.

Eventually the meeting ended.  We all rose stiffly, everyone intent
on their various tasks.  There were staff debriefings that had to be
taken care of, so I wasn't very surprised when Tom and Lt. Torres
excused themselves.  "I'd like to stay and visit," she said, "but I
have a staff itching to get to the comm lines, and as soon as I go
over these procedures with them the better."

"I understand," I said, and I did, appreciating her thoughts for her
staff.

"Will you- can I ask you to come to dinner, later?"  She spoke
quickly and I knew that she hadn't mentioned it to him, but that it
was something that she had made up just then.  He looked a little
fierce about it at first, but he nodded.

"That would be nice," I said, "Thank you."

"17:00 then, in our quarters."  The two of them left and I was at a
loss. The room had emptied out, and I felt superfluous.  Dan had gone
to check some relay or another with the Captain, but I had not gone
along.  I stood there for a minute, feeling a little ridiculous,
before I realized that I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

I asked the computer, and received and answer that made me a bit
nervous, before I thought bout where I’d put my children during times
of upheaval. I made my way towards Sickbay.  It wasn't hard to find.

The doors swished open, and there it was, just a lot of empty
bio-beds.  But there was someone moving around in the office area to
my left, so I headed over there.  The EMH was bustling around looking
harried, and filling a medkit with hyposprays.  When he saw me he
looked vastly relieved.

"Aha!  Admiral.  Can I ask for your assistance?  Ensign Lang has
requested my presence in transporter room one, as one of the
temporary operators has sprained his back lifting some packing cases.
Although why he was lifting packing cases unaided I don't know. 
Honestly, sometimes I think the entire crew goes out of their way to
injure themselves.  I'd like to go down there and make sure the
Ensign is unharmed, but I am loath to leave her," and he pointed at a
crib under one of the office windows, "alone.  Can you please stay,
for about twenty minutes?"  He looked at me expectantly and I nodded.

"I just so happen to have the time free.  I'd be happy to stay with
the child."

"Excellent.  She is asleep, and I expect her to stay that way for at
least another forty-five minutes.  I will return shortly."  He left,
and I moved over to the window.

I don't know what his definition of asleep was, but this child was
definitely not it.  She was awake, and playing with one of her feet.
About six to eight months old, I guessed, and adorable as all get
out.  To look at her, you'd never know she was a Paris.  She was
dark, with a fine head of black hair and the brownest eyes I'd ever
seen.  I fell in love right away, after she latched onto one of my
fingers with her hand and held on for dear life, and I knew that I
was going to have to find some way to sneak Anne to their quarters by
17:00.  She'd never forgive me if I didn't.

This return was truly a gift, and I knew I was going to have to work
hard to deserve it.  He wasn't going to walk out of my life again,
that was for sure.  Not with those two beautiful ladies.  And I
smiled down at my granddaughter, as she laughed back at me, and I was
happier than I had been in years.

---

The End